Time Heals

Time Heals

Does Time REALLY Heal those wounds?  It's of the most unhelpful cliches you can pull out when speaking with a grieving person, right up there with "IT'S ALL PART OF GOD's PLAN".  Then again, there is a bit of truth in plenty of unhelpful sayings and over time, tons and tons of researches have proven to attest to the healing nature of time.  For most of us, after probably a year or more has lapsed, those symptoms of acute grief would have lessened.

But hold on though.  Although I am a firm believer that TIME HEALS, sometimes things actually get WORSE before they get BETTER.  You can ask around, those who have suffered a significant loss in the past.  Likely, they will confide to you that the initial SHOCK & PAIN, while agonizing, wasn't a most difficult time for them. 

That may come weeks or even months later when the REALITY of LIFE without a loved one begins to set in.  The sense that you can never ever speak with that person again, neevr touch them, hear their voice or feel the unique way you did with them, has begun to sink in.  We can even stretch the metaphor of grief as a wound.  Horror and disbelief courses through you in the seconds after you receive a bad cut or when you break a bone but the pain only sets in later once the numbness of shock fades.

Truth is, even in the long run, time DOESN'T actually improve matters for some of us.  Heard about 'COMPLICATED GRIEF' for people whose grief symptoms are still acute.  They become stuck in mourning.  NOT wanting to accept the reality of the loss of strong feelings attached.  The DENIAL of LOSS that creates a powerful impact.  The intensity of a LOSS that is compounded by traumatic circumstances.  NOT wanting to let go of the pain because of a betrayal of the feelings for the lost loved one.  NOT having a safe place with whom to process the loss in that forever-changed world.

Fact is, TIME GOES REALLY REALLY SLOWLY when you're hurting.  Remember if you were hospitalized before and you notice how painfully time moves SO SLOWLY when you're stuck in the hospital?  Or when you've got that recurring migraine and you're waiting for that painkiller to kick in?  The same rule applies when you're in an emotional agony.  "TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS"  is like a slap on your face when minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days and the days just seem to drag, you start to question and doubt if the calendar is moving at all?  So, indeed, TIME HEALS but NO SINGLE SIZE FITS ALL because there are multifarious factors that will either drag or accelerate your healing.  What's our FIX?  Keep that FOCUS in your healing process💊💊💊