Let's GET OFF THE FENCE!

Let's GET OFF THE FENCE!

Time to dip our hand into the cookie jar when it comes to relationships!  HOW often do we hear couples often struggle and SIT ON THE FENCE?  With WHAT you see OR what you are aware of [either as a family member OR being one of the coterie of close friends, you might attest that 'that' couple are trying [BUT do they, really?].  Instead, either one OR both will wait for the other to change, to cave in, to waver, and they still think it can go on FOREVER!@#$%?  Dude, before the waters break loose, Let's GET OFF THE FENCE!!!

NOW, what's kind of puzzling is WHAT causes people to get stuck up, SITTING ON THE FENCE?  Oh Oh, this is NO rocket science though.  Psychologists all sing the same tune, that to break this vicious pattern, either/and/or the protagonists need to take DECISIVE action.  Either you gather all your gumption to push for real, concrete behavioral changes OR if that is next to impossible, part ways!!!

HOW often have you heard stories like these WHICH undoubtedly pushes us to think these are concocted fiction stories:  A couple have been together for 7 years but for the last year or so, it's been a STRUGGLE for both, to say the least.  They briefly separated for a few weeks then got back together.  They then talk about breaking up, then giving it a try that lasts a couple of days, then they fall back into talking about breaking up AGAIN!!!

Sounds familiar?  Absolutely dude.  That kind of couple continue to SIT ON THE FENCE and either/and/or would waffle back and forth.  They both manifest ambivalence and the worst thing about ambivalence is that it is damn contagious because WHEN you waffle, the other person waffles too OR in the end, each is waiting for the other to initiate a concrete move that can turn into a blink contest.  BUT how long will that last???

Our takeaway:  This is a case as simple as a black OR white, a yes OR no.  BUT frankly, there are just two options at hand, namely, to mutually endeavor to work things out as a COMMITMENT but if that ends up like a boogie dance, waffling and waffling, you are left with NO other option BUT to separate, really a difficult pill to swallow especially WHEN you are overwhelmed with all these intangibles.  Bottomline is, our mutual aim should be to break OLD PATTERNS of treading water, complaining, and NOT decisively acting.  Else, you will remain in that punishing vicious cycle.  Dude, LET'S GET OFF THE FENCE and decide!!!