The Negative Aspect of Being Positive

The Negative Aspect of Being Positive

All along, we have been harping, promoting and egging everyone to be POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITVE.  Now,  here I am, bannering the negative aspect of being Positive.  Oooops, am I turning around and eating up my very own words?  Not really.  In fact, NOT AT ALL.  Instead, we want to reinforce the fact that we should not take everything to the letter, hook, line and sinker because such is life, it can never be perfect, it would never give us the blanket guarantee to be always on the safe side if we follow general principles.  Instead, there are "WHAT IFs' which we need to be wary of.

What we DON'T encourage is TOXIC POSITIVITY as it becomes an obsession with positive thinking.  It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences even for those instances that are extremely tragic.  TOXIC POSITIVITY can silence negative emotions and make people feel under undue pressure to pretend to be happy EVEN WHEN they are struggling.  In some cases, it may even be self-imposed.  A typical example is a person may try to appear happy all the time by presenting everything in a positive light.  However, it can also be an external pressure such as when people tell a person who is grieving to move on or to look for a positive in their loss.

Unfortunately, TOXIC POSITIVITY can come in various shapes and forms.  Asserting after a catastrophe that 'everything happens for a reason"?  Urging someone to focus on the positive aspects of a devastating loss?  Telling someone tp get over their grief or suffering and focus on the good things in their life.  Labelling people who always appear positive or do not share their emotions as being stronger  or more likable than others.

Generally, POSITIVITY is NOT harmful.  However, a person who believes that they must only be positive may ignore serious problems or not address underlying mental health issues, if any.  On the same breadth, people who demand positivity from others may offer insufficient support or make loved ones feel stigmatized and judged.  And the risks of TOXIC POSITIVITY is dangerous no less.  HOW and WHY?  We could be IGNORING REAL HARM and that's very risky.  Unfortunately, optimism, hope and forgiveness increased the risk of people staying with their abusers.

Demeaning a loss is a NO-NO as well.  Grief and sadness are normal in the face of loss.  A person who repeatedly hears messages to MOVE ON or be happy might feel as though others do NOT care about their loss.  A parent who lost a child, for example, might feel that their child was unimportant to others and that will only compound their grief.  And our fix?  Balance things out❗❗❗