Nope, You CAN'T Be Nice To Everyone!

Nope, You CAN'T Be Nice To Everyone!

From our childhood into adulthood, we were taught and exposed to be NICE TO EVERYONE, which just makes sense.  No question about that BUT here's the BIG BUT.  You DON'T need to mentally and/or physically exhaust yourself to be NICE TO EVERYONE.  Nope, You CAN'T Be Nice To Everyone!  BUT please DON'T get me wrong.  We are NOT egging you to roam around being rude intentionally.  Instead, in life, it's all about setting the demarcation lines, the boundaries📗📙📘

The problem with one of the very first rules we learned in life, that of BEING NICE, is its over-generalization because there are certain times WHEN you DON'T have to be NICE and indeed SHOULDN'T.  This explains WHY it is imperative to give ourselves permission to 'BREAK THE RULE' when necessary.  Problem is, challenging the imperative to be NICE is a 'feminist' act because 'NICENESS' is so frequently gendered.  The old school taught us that girls are supposed to be made of 'sugar, spice and everything'.  This means the girls are expected to smile all the time , help others without expecting anything in return and avoid making people angry💦💦💦

Hey, since those AREN'T really the qualities of a leader, being too nice can hold us back in our careers.  Of course, KINDNESS is generally a good thing and we SHOULDN'T discourage it WHEN it's NOT harming anyone just because the majority DON'T manifest it.  BUT there are situations WHEN it could have negative effects, like we SHOULDN'T feel pressured to be NICE to others if that means sacrificing our own well-being💥💥💥

In fact, it's always OK to say NO to requests if and WHEN accommodating such request[s] may even strain you OR put someone else's wants above your own comfort level.  And sometimes, you do miss out an opportunity if you wait for everyone to have a fair shot.  It's OK to be competitive if that's WHAT it takes to get a promotion, a seat on the train, or something else that's in limited supply.  BTW, being NICE is different from being KIND and KINDNESS can require telling people things they DON'T want to hear in order to help them.  Oh YES, it's always OK to use WHATEVER means necessary to defend yourself or get yourself out of a dangerous OR risky situation💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  Fact of the matter here is that we humans have a limited capacity to be NICE to everyone.  After some time, the energy wanes and derails, till we get exhausted.  Have you heard of narratives where the older sibling kept financially supporting a younger sibling WHO was like a 'parasite' to him.  Until one day, the older sibling realizes that 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH'.  Hey, we DON'T want to be unconditionally NICE to everyone at all times!@#$%?