YES, Do Expose Yourself Out There!

 

HOW often have you been HOLDING BACK because you want something to be perfect from the start?  You and me should know well enough that that mindset is, at the very least, twisted if NOT wrong.  WHY?  Because I can attest to this.  Almost everything we did for the first time in life is either BAD OR at the very least, it is NOT good enough.  So, let us NOT end up fooling ourselves to ever dissuade ourselves from trying because we owe it to ourselves to get EXPOSED OUT THERE!!!

Very true, let us forego with PERFECTION for now.  BTW, not even the top surgeon of a full-service hospital can guarantee picture-PERFECT surgical operations each time he steps into the operating room/theater [much as surgeons commit to give it their best shot].  Due, we're NOT in the middle of examinations.  This is our life instead.  Making mistakes is a natural, everyday thing.  DON'T exaggerate it❎❎❎

Those time WHEN we get things right are often because we've already made mistakes OR learned from someone WHO went through that similar wringer.  Experts advise us on one thing:  LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.  If you really want something and if you're genuinely drawn to it, it's fine to get obsessed. I remember one poet say, 'GREATNESS IS BUILT ON A FOUNDATION OF COUNTLESS MISTAKES'.  To add to that, unfortunately, it does NOT magically show up at all in our everyday travails and tribulations😌😌😌

To quote Canadian writer Robin Sharma, THE FEARS YOU DON'T FACE BECOME YOUR LIMITS.  Well said.  Well said.  I CAN'T agree more with that one-liner.  Truth of the matter, even as we have our respective sets and subsets of FEARS, that leads us to this shared commonality, that is, we have our respective LIMITS but our commonality ends there because other than that, our respective LIMITS end up as unique because very rarely a person WHO has 29 FEARS is exactly a replica of another person's FEARS.  BUT think about it, WHO's the culprit of our LIMITS???

Our takeaway:  In simpler and practical terms, you might ask, SO HOW?  Hey dude, if something scares you, you got at least 2 options namely, to face it head-on OR go away and simply avoid [as if you're ignoring it].  BUT if something scares you, it might be worth trying, right?  True, by nature, we need stability.  We want to survive, to avoid risks that could harm us BUT it's those WHO take risks WHO break through the barriers WHICH others either CAN'T OR FAILED.  NOW, if you fail, will it be embarrassing? Surely it is BUT SO WHAT?  Would you prefer to be embarrassed NOW OR LATER?  WHY put off that awkward moment later WHEN it's for your taking to take the plunge NOW❗❗❗ 

Yes, We Live Within The 'DASH-LINE'

 

Respected poet and author Linda Ellis is known much more for being the author of 'THE DASH' which refers to that DASH between a person's date of birth and his/her death of birth on the tombstone.  NOT for us to dissect that insightful poem NOW but the messaging from Linda Ellis here is crystal clear.  THAT is, YES, WE LIVE WITHIN THE 'DASH-LINE'.  BUT it's more than just highlighting the variable in the equation.  Instead, WHAT's being imparted here is that we have that huge window to positively [and NOT negatively] exploit our life to the hilt, even improving ourselves by focusing on things that are good for you, and that includes challenging NEGATIVE self-talk, practicing self-respect, managing stress and resolving conflicts in our relationships📗📙📘

In the shortest words, HOW DO WE LIVE OUR 'DASH'?  Regardless WHETHER we want to boost our mood, get better at our time management, develop healthy personal habits OR focus on self-growth, self-improvement is key to enhancing our quality of life.  Even if it feels challenging at the moment OR you feel you've tried and COULDN'T before, it is possible to feel better about yourself and fulfill your dreams and goals💧💧💧

SO HOW?  YES, I'll share the first step I did start sometime back.  I started journaling.  WHETHER it will take 5 minutes of your time OR more everyday, spare just that time you can spare.  Like any author, you may have a few story plots to choose from.  Once you started this off, if you feel getting stalled from time to time, identify if either some events OR people in your life may have become the roadblocks for your development?  A bit of a challenge here is that feeling STUCK might look different for everyone.  You may feel like it regardless of the circumstances in your life OR you might have specific relationships OR tasks that take the energy and focus from you.  So, you may want to start exploring as WHAT 'feeling stuck' means to you, if anything at all.  Unfortunately, some of us are overly concerned about our past mistakes OR WHAT will happen tomorrow.  Psychologists tell us that to focus on self-growth needs us to LIVE IN THE PRESENT💦💦💦

On the lighter side, NO sirrrrrs, we're NOT referring to EM DASH or EN DASH or EN HYPHEN here.  Verily true, all experts are in unison to tell us that focusing on the RIGHT NOW can be challenging especially in our world today as today's technology and expectation to be connected at all times is one of the most prominent challenges we all face WHEN trying to be present in the here and NOW.  And another common blocker these days is our TIME MANAGEMENT.  Among the things we can improve, managing time efficiently may be key⏰⏰⏰

Our takeaway:  If there's a simple sharing I can open up now, I remember that year WHEN I explicitly set an intention for my life NOT just for the long-term BUT for my NEXT hour, NEXT day and NEXT weeks to come.  And I learned from our global teambuilding resource that one way of setting our intention is to practice VISUALIZATION, that is, seeing yourself accomplishing those things you want.  HOW did I do it?  In the midst of the daily traffic gridlock I had to endure, I exploited those tons of hours with the engine idling for me to figure things out.  And frankly, I have to admit that VISUALIZING things pushed me to CONCRETIZE anything that was vague and ambiguous.  And even as WE [still] LIVE WITHIN THE 'DASH LINE', let us NOT let these opportunities slip past us, dude💚💛💜

Yes, Life Happens 'IN-BETWEEN'

 

YES, LIFE HAPPENS IN-BETWEEN.  Unless you are rushing from end-to-end, we are encouraged to figure out enjoying even our LIFE IN-BETWEEN.  If I am beating up on schedules and I'll drive out-of-town, I relish the moments every step of the way, literally speaking.  Without risking my driving safety, I would take time to appreciate some NOT-so notable landmarks along the way, even if it's a creek OR a construction still in-progress💜💛💚

SO HOW?  WHAT do we do IN-BETWEENS then?  I'm NOT talking about the cream in between the wafers of an Oreo.  And I'm NOT talking about the commercials in between TV shows.  I'm NOT even talking about the curious ball of lint you find in between MORE important experiences we tend to have everyday.  IF I look back through the years, belatedly, I am realizing NOW that much of our time  may have been spent in seemingly insignificant moments IN-BETWEENs in fact💥💥💥

NOW I am missing something.  Those long-haul Trans-Atlantic flights I am onboard and after all the meals are served, lights would DIM, dimmer than you want.  BUT there I was [of course, I only take the coach [except several times I got upgraded [FOR FREE] to business class], seated in the midst of darkness WHILE my ceiling pin light was the solitary one that keeps me company.  You might wonder WHAT keeps me busy?  It's either I'm browsing on something OR compiling my one-off PLAYLIST which I'll replay for the rest of the flight✅✅✅

Now, let's agree as to WHY embracing the smaller, ordinary moments in our everyday life can make us happier WHATEVER keeps us busy [OR NOT busy] everyday.  I remember in my everyday 'walkaround' lasting for more than an hour everyday [that's roughly 7 km], a few times now, an old man [probably anywhere between 70s to 80s] seemed resting on the sidewalk and he DIDN'T waste time to greet me a good morning WHEN I noticed that he seemed to be recovering from a serious illness [e.g. either a mild OR serious stroke].  YES, I admire him because he seems to relish LIFE IN-BETWEEN😃😃😃

Our takeaway:  We can even go back down memory lane and reminisce our childhood days WHEN life was so 'carefree'.  BUT I do understand that appreciating even little things [like our childhood memory] has become more difficult in a world fixated on achievement and meeting your NEXT career OR business milestone.  We're often encouraged to celebrate our BIG successes and then curate them for social media.  WHICH means that those smaller, simpler moments in our day tend to go unnoticed?  OUCH!@#$%?

YES, The World DOESN'T Owe Us Anything!

From time to time in our daily lives, WHETHER we were courting for one OR not, someone either walks over to us OR confides to us [IN TRUST] either his/her gripes, concerns OR complaints [WHICH remain suppressed from within].  At the workplace, things become much louder and cacophonous.  LIKE 'I hate my boss' OR 'I deserved that role given to that new incumbent' OR 'My job promotion is long overdue'.  BUT to give things the benefit of the doubt, we should be able to often relate to WHERE people are coming from.  And I supposed that's the value of talking to someone because it helps to separate problems from symptoms BUT there is one thing we GOT to remember:  YES, The World DOESN'T Owe Us Anything❗❗❗

NOW, I'm dangling this yellow pad FOR FREE.  Any takers?  Unfortunately, it is captioned to list WHAT THE WORLD OWES us BUT alas, this yellow pad is as empty and blank as it can be.  Nothing we can do, dude.  There is NOTHING to list down in the first place.  BUT I can feel WHERE most of us are coming from.  WHEN we make noise OR voice out our concern, knowing the problem itself is half the solution and I salute someone articulating and vociferously airing his gripes.  WHAT I discovered, though, the past years is that in those conversations, we tend to talk through WHAT's going on and dig deeper into the situation way beyond the surface level.  And alas, they are the reflections of the real problem WHICH can be larger and maybe more corrosive and harder to admit💥💥💥

NOW, where's our common problem here?  The problem is that SOMETIMES, we all feel entitled to something.  Entitlement is then equated to that subtle and implicit belief that we do deserve things and that the world deserves us something.  Oh Oh REALLY?  The truth, however, is something we all know anyways.  That the world owes us NOTHING, NADA, NICHTS.  WHAT makes things harder is for us to remember it at the right time, during those moments WHEN we're feeling entitled!@#$%?

Allow me to grab this quote from famous American author Tony Robbins:  TRADE YOUR EXPECTATION FOR APPRECIATION AND THE WORLD CHANGES INSTANTLY.  Simple words BUT they do run deep way beyond the surface.  Let's look back at one or two instances in the past WHEN we were financially hard pressed.  Surely that was a hard time for you.  BUT I believe it would have been much less harder✅✅✅

You might chase me with,  HOW CAN IT BE MUCH LESS HARDER?  Simple.  if we only remembered during those very moments that there were millions, maybe hundreds of millions of people with financial problems whose severity is maybe 5 to 10 times more serious and more severe than yours.  IF ONLY we thought of that, then we'll realize THE WORLD DOESN'T OWE US except for us to keep grinding, keep going because you've got enough fuel in your tank dude😀😀😀

YES, It Takes Work!

YES, It Takes Work!

YES, It Takes Work!  WHETHER you're an aspiring athlete, an upstart employee worker OR an upcoming entrepreneur, you and me will need to start right from Ground Zero.  YES, It Takes Work!  BUT obviously with exception.  UNLESS you are Baron Trump OR a scion of the legitimate rich and famous billionaires.  Otherwise, everyone of us needs to hue to this age-old mantra YES, It Takes Work!  BUT this should NOT floor you down or scare you away dude📗📙📘

So, one might ask, WHAT do we mean WHEN we blurt out that IT TAKES WORK?  Simple, dude.  Work your ass.  Grind at work.  Work like a DAWG.  Think about the BIG LEAGUES.  For the techies, we could be looking at the IT Parks in India OR if the stars will align for you, you can end up all the way up and out there at San Jose CA's Silicon Valley.  In the competitive world of sports, we have witnessed hundreds of gold medalists from the Olympics BUT looking at their storied life, they started right from Ground Zero many years prior to reaching the zenith of their competition.  Diminutive Olympics Gymnast Carlos Yulo was a 16-year old boy WHO accepted a scholarship from the Japan Gymnastics association, and had to start learning Nihongo up to the conversation level before he started grinding hard for his rigorous gymnastics training.  Eight years after, he stepped up the Olympics podium twice to receive two gold medals💧💧💧

So, WHAT'S the secret?  That secret is the best known secret in the world spelled E-X-T-R-A M-I-L-E.  Through the years, I've seen a big segment of people [WHOM I know up close] to shrug off their shoulders WHEN they hear EXTRA MILE ringing through their ears.  Sadly, many times, it does fall through deaf ears on the simple narrative that WE WON'T HEAR WHAT WE REFUSE TO HEAR.  Makes sense???

Just to share, HOW was I WHEN I started right there at Ground Zero.  YES, I did squat on the floor with a soldering tool to solder hundreds of coaxial cables.  That time, we were literally moving the local office of Shell Oil to Makati, the country's financial hub.  BUT things DIDN'T stop there.  I spent countless way below crawling the raised floorings.  YES because large data centers require raised floorings and many times, I was a worker for hard-labor work, tracing huge, heavy and long cables connecting the IBM mainframes with all the peripheral hardware scattered all over the sprawling area😖😖😖

Our takeaway:  So, WHAT does it take for us to go that EXTRA MILE?  YES, lots of sweat, lots of time and mile-long of patience, perseverance and persistence.  So, you might ask, is that a steep mountain to climb?  YES if you consider that steep.  NO if you rewire yourself and have that EXTRA MILER mindset.  Down the road, you will eventually reap the fruits of your labor.  YES, IT TAKES WORK, dude💥💥💥

YES, We Lose Some, We Win Some!

WHO believes in winning streaks?  OR even in losing streaks?  I believe both, dude.  WHY?  Because in the past, I've been through the ringer, going through losing streaks and YES, there were times I was on a roll, and those were the times I felt I did reach the summit of Mount Everest after that scary and steep climb. YES, We Lose Some, We Win Some!  BUT you might wonder, WHY would we waste our time for this thread on something that is just too obvious?  Simple dude.  Some of us tend to feel they have been pushed to the edges after a string of endless loses.  WHEREAS some of us thought we can get intoxicated as part of the seemingly endless celebrations of our string and streak of wins📗📙📘

Surely you'll agree with me if I categorically state that life is an amazing journey that is completely and thoroughly unpredictable too.  It takes us through some of the most extraordinary moments and experiences as well as sad and distressing ones.  Just WHEN you feel relaxed and complacent, all hell may break loose WHEN calamities do strike and hit us hard.  Sometimes, you would discover things by serendipity and at times you DON'T seem to find things even though these are right before your eyes.  You save the best for last and still do NOT end up using them for yourself.  You often achieve WHEN you never thought was humanly possible for you and at times success thoroughly evades you in spite of putting in all your sweat, time and dedication just to give your 'BEST SHOT'💥💥💥

YES, life can be anything BUT unpredictable.  Does it NOT show the duality of our experiences in life?  The more we try reading between the lines OR try taming it OR making it conform to your wishes, the more it seems intractable and less amenable to any such maneuvers.  YES, life is all about the UPs and DOWNs just like a roller coaster ride.  One moment you are at the pinnacle, the very next moment takes you to the nadir.  WHAT is certain though is that there is a regular transition between the favorable and unfavorable times, good and bad experiences, just like the changing seasons.  It goes on to prove that nothing last forever❗❗❗

Here's the thing.  The BAD moments come to an end with the onset of GOOD ones and similarly, the GOOD ones come to an end by the onset of the BAD ones.  The moment you become arrogant OR start taking things for granted, just then life dashes all your hopes and crashes your flight midday.  And at that moment, you are forced to believe in the existence of some higher power that controls our life as well as our identity, that WHICH is omnipresent and all powerful.  That WHICH transcends any physical form OR shape and lends support to the theory that all events and happenings in this universe are governed at someplace else that is much beyond our own revelation💚💜💛

Our takeaway:  This is WHY we wonder if life is akin to playing a game of cards, NOT all hands are equally good and worth playing.  At times, you wind up much early in the game WHILE at others you are tempted to play till the end.  At times, you do exceedingly well by winning handsomely and at others you lose miserably.  YES dude, WE LOSE SOME, WE WIN SOME✅✅✅

Yes, We Were Born AUTHORS of Our Book Of Life!

Yes, We Were Born AUTHORS of Our Book Of Life!

NO sirrrrrrs, I DON'T have a monopoly of tagging myself as a blogger/writer/author.  WHY?  It's all simply because des, We Were Born AUTHORS of Our Book Of Life!  There is NO WAY OUT of this lifelong responsibility on our shoulders.  BTW, you DON'T need to be fluent OR competent enough in crafting things into narratives because the way you breath and live your life, you will be spewing the very words that will contribute in your own BOOK OF LIFE.  BTW, WHAT's your narrative on that page 'ABOUT THE AUTHOR' by then dude???

This may seem a cliche BUT I mean it in more ways than just the typical 'YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO DETERMINE THE END', albeit that's still part of it.  In some weird way, our life is our own personal novel, OR at the very least, a collection of essays.  Our memories are the stories that make it up.  The people we know, WHETHER we love them [OR hate them] are its characters.  And that includes people we cross paths💧💧💧

Every UP , DOWN, TWIST and TURN is another plot twist.  That leaves you to be the main character [and believe me, you CAN'T run away from it!].  So, DONT let yourself forget though that everyone around you is a main character [too] in their own story.  YES, each of our stories will start with an introduction.  And just like the characters in novels, once we get introduced, we somehow begin crafting our own elaborate story.  Some of us have very similar introductions.  We start existing, we have a name, and just like that we begin living.  Some of us, however, have a slightly more complicated introduction😁😁😁

Regardless of the complexity, we settle into this new life, and begin our stories just the same.  New experiences, WHETHER you remember them OR not, are part of your book.  Things that happen in your childhood will exist into adulthood because they are written into your story.  And while you may NOT exactly remember WHY you hated water OR playing out there under the sun, BUT if you could read far enough back, it's possible that you could have your answer😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  Lest we forget, both GOOD and BAD will be [ALWAYS] present for the rest of our life and even though the NEGATIVE experiences will vie for your attention more often than NOT, the beautiful experiences will still be there for you to lean on.  Just because there is part of a novel that is sad, it DOESN'T make your novel necessarily that 'BAD' because there will be more parts in your book that will make you happy.  YES YES YES, WE WERE BORN AUTHORS OF OUR BOOK OF LIFE❗❗❗

Yes, Let's Play Our BALANCING ACT!

Yes, Let's Play Our BALANCING ACT!

Today, we all live lives of never-ending ironies and contradictions.  We hear booming economies, increasing GNPs BUT do the plain citizens have the peace of mind?  We would splurge in buying comfy beds BUT do we really enjoy a sound sleep?  True, we have the budget to buy medicines BUT are we healthy?  We are flooded with social media BUT we DON'T even know our neighbors.  Yes, Let's Play Our BALANCING ACT!!!

Without whipping down our governments and economic managers BUT the rapid globalization coupled with the cycle of migration and urbanization causing a surefire increase in professional competition, all these have contributed to our state of affairs today.  BUT, despite all these, I will always point my fingers in the lack of balance in our lifestyles.  And result is just too obvious.  Worsening health issues [I have witnessed constantly long queues in pharmacies here in my country [WHEREAS when I was in Japan, the pharmacy business seems to have reached its sunset as the pharmacies have stocked their stores with cosmetics filling up maybe 90% of their shelves]]💥💥💥

How often have you heard of people having heart problems, diabetes, degenerative diseases, besides mental health problems, stress and depressions is just part of a long list of manifestations that we are indeed losing our BALANCE.  YES, we are loosing BALANCE NOT only in our individual lives BUT also in our community and social life.  There is even that growing unrest, intolerance and even hatred among protagonies [look no farther than the Middle East and Ukraine regions].  Even our religious enthusiasts are competing with each other, thus exacerbating geopolitical conflicts.  So, everyone is losing the BALANCE😗😗😗

And that brings to a point that should make us comfortable enough to conclude that BALANCING is the ultimate principle of life.  In fact, I'll argue that it is the very essence of life itself.  Our human body is the classic example of maintaining BALANCE, following the physiological principle called HOMEOSTASIS which is defined as that ability to maintain a dynamic state of equilibrium, responding appropriately to heat OR cold.  YES, even the way we react OR respond to 'FLIGHT or FIGHT' is a BALANCING act in itself.  WHAT we need today is to find that 'right' BALANCE in almost every walk of life.  And our BALANCING act should embrace the whole gamut of our lifestyle.  And maintaining WORK-LIFE BALANCE [WLB] is definitely at the core of our day-to-day living✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  Let's face it, the challenges we face in this fast-paced world have become more of the norms than the exception.  It is equally challenging to correct the modern sedentary lifestyle affected by long hours of sitting, lack of exercise, erratic eating habits, and even disturbed and 'uneven' sleeping habits.  Alas, there are NO short cut solutions, only sure cut ones.  Let us end with an analogy that our life is like a motor car where wheel-alignment is a MUST do and after balancing all four wheels, we CAN'T even be sure if our drive will be smooth BUT at least, we mitigated the risks when we play our BALANCING ACT!!!

Yes, Sometimes We Need HELP!

Yes, Sometimes We Need HELP!

I'll be the first one to admit that I am NOT good [at all] at asking for HELP.  Looking back, even during my childhood, I was fairly independent.  Probably, I was brought about that way by our family's day-to-day circumstances WHERE my parents were constantly attempting to 'let both ends meet' [more often, to NO avail].  So, probably, that perfectionist attitude got stuck with me since then.  Either way, I wanted to do everything 'RIGHT' and on a different plane, I wanted to do things all by myself.  BUT Yes, Sometimes We Need HELP!  WHY?  WHILE this mindset of self-sufficiency can be beneficial on some fronts, it can very easily swing to the harmful side of things from a HELP-HURT scale perspective.  And I'd like to admit my mea culpa during those times when I refused to seek HELP, find HELP📗📙📘

To a fault, we can partly blame our respective cultures, especially the western culture WHO teaches us all to be fiercely individualistic.  We are taught to pull ourselves by the bootstraps and keep going even in the most difficult situations.  BUT that mindset leaves people suffering all by themselves, without a support system to turn in their most difficult times.  WHEN Covid-19 pandemic hit us all straight from the cold, there was widespread consensus that people were experiencing an epidemic of loneliness and the amount of people with no close friends kept multiplying, year on year, and the numbers hit alarming levels📌📌📌

In the 90s, the popular and fan-favorite show was 'FRIENDS' but today, that would quite unrealistic because generally, people simply DON'T have that many friends anymore [especially in western countries].  Sadly, this is a stark and sad contrast to the way things have been in the past.  Just last weekend, I had a 'mini reunion' with classmates from my elementary and high school days because we did cherish friendships that much💦💦💦

Post-pandemic, mental health issues hit way beyond the ceilings.  And for us with NO mental health issues, let's think about those enduring their mental health issues.  Imagine if even simple tasks like getting out of bed OR washing the dishes seem like too much.  Pitifully, due to shame and stigma, many mentally ill people DON'T even speak up about their needs, either OR ask for the help they need.  Even in a professional setting, WHAT we often hear is the advice that we should be able to get better on our own and that medications are a crutch.  Unfortunately, even for many WHO live a better life these days, many of them still struggle to find happiness in their daily life💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  If things are NOT going awry and YET we are in that pitiful predicament of unhappiness, let us figure things out.  HOW can we be content in life and YET WHAT explains if things are still so bad and so hard?  This is WHERE reaching out for HELP matters especially if making simple mindful alterations in your daily routine DOESN'T help at all.  Taking antidepressants is NOT the final fix if indeed we need HELP.  We just need to adjust to the idea of needing a little extra HELP to give our brain the opportunity to feel a little more emotion and as we begin to accept this, life might just throw a new curve ball right back in your face.  And indeed, SOMETIMES WE NEED HELP💥💥💥

Yes, Friendship Breakups Can Be That Bad

Yes, Friendship Breakups Can Be That Bad

Yes, Friendship Breakups Can Be That Bad.  We might think this is NOT worth to be our thread today BUT me thinks this discussion thread deserves as much space as relationships because in fact and in truth, I'm quite sure that there are more friendships than relationships all rolled into one.  And let us NOT belittle the consequence and ramifications of FRIENDSHIP BREAKUPs because it could be as impactful as worst case scenarios we dread📗📙📘

Numbers DON'T lie.  In the U.S. alone, a recent study showed that 86% of teenagers in the U.S. have experienced various levels of friendship breakups.  Though we tend to think of BAD breakups as the end of romantic relationships, losing a friend , especially one WHO has been close to you, can be just as hard.  Research into attachment can help us make sense of WHY a friendship breakup can be devastating💢💢💢

I remember, as children, our most important relationships are with our parents OR caregivers. BUT during adolescence this changes.  This part of our genetic design, readying us to grow up and build adult lives independent of our parents.  We shift the person we most trust, rely on, and seek intimate contact with, to someone WHO is a romantic partner OR even a best friend.  A bond with a friend, your companion, confidante and co-traveller through big changes as you enter adulthood can be stronger than any other bond💦💦💦

In particular, women in particular tend to discuss personal issues with friends more than they do with family.  HOW often do we hear that friends provide ongoing stability even WHEN romantic relationships might come and go.  Having a BEST FRIEND is an important part of our healthy development.  So, it's NO wonder that it can rock your world if things go wrong with that person.  It can be especially disorienting IF you DIDN'T see it coming.  Even recent researches show that the most common method of ending a FRIENDSHIP is by avoidance, NOT addressing the issues involved.  Indeed, this can be a shock and the feeling of being rejected can hurt as much as physical pain😖😖😖

WHAT befuddles me is WHY do FRIENDSHIPS breakup?  Studies show that the biggest reasons for FRIENDSHIPS ending in young adulthood are physical separation, making new friends which replace old ones, growing to dislike the friend and interference due to dating OR marriage.  Visually imagine that scenario where there are three people and you're in the middle between the guy courting you and your bestie.  WHEN you come to terms with the guy courting you, literally, you significantly orbit much closer to him, widening that gap and distance between you and your bestie.  BUT FRIENDSHIPS DON'T have to end over changes like this, if you can try to empathize with WHAT your friend is going through rather than judging them OR taking it personally💥💥💥