How Far Can You Go With 'GOOD INTENTIONS'?
There's this old proverb which remains to be one of my top fave ones. THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS. So, WHAT are we really talking about WHEN we talk about our INTENTIONS? Obviously, it refers to the reasons we do things. Of course our meaning for taking an ACTION [and that's the INTENTION supposedly] and then the outcome of that ACTION, they DON'T always directly relate. How Far Can You Go With 'GOOD INTENTIONS'? And do we hear ourselves OR someone else ask, WHY DO I ALWAYS LET OTHERS DOWN DESPITE MY GOOD INTENTIONS? Problem is, some of us DON'T naturally see the perspective of others OR easily understand those around us. So, we impose our own views on the other person [WHICH is simply wrong]
The disconnect arises WHEN thinking through an action we are taking with an intent to help someone else, experts counsel us to ask ourselves:- Have I considered the perspective of the person?
- Is this choice will help them? Or is it for myself?
- Should I ask how to help instead of assuming?
So, good INTENTIONS for others are indeed good for us too, for obvious reasons. If we have the good INTENTIONS for others, they are more likely to have good INTENTIONS to us as well💦💦💦
BUT various researches show that if we consciously decide to do things to be kind, we will feel better, regardless of HOW the other then treats us. Just this afternoon, I was walking back to my parked car and I saw a long queue of cars obviously looking for parking space. Although I was a few meters away from my car, I did wave to the driver of the car approaching, pointing to my car and he promptly enabled his HAZARD blinker. With that almost effortless INTENTION, I felt good that I helped someone find his space to park his car. And WHILE we might have NO trouble intending good things for others, it might be a different story WHEN it comes to ourselves. We might say that we INTEND to be happy, have a job we like, and be in a loving relationship. And we might consciously believe it. So then, WHY do we feel miserable, keep taking jobs we hate, find ourselves endlessly attracted to destructive relationships? Sounds familiar??? YES, even if we consciously INTEND good things for ourselves, it might be entirely a different story altogether WHEN it comes to our unconscious INTENTIONS. There we might find we have WHAT are called by psychologists as 'limiting beliefs', even those unconscious assumptions we made as children we then mistake them as 'FACT'? And then, we live our lives by, whew. To truly have good INTENTIONS for ourselves, we need to look at WHAT beliefs are holding us back, process the experiences that gave us such NEGATIVE beliefs and commit to having better ones. NOW, before you give up on yourself, the fact is it is NOT unusual to NOT meet all our INTENTIONS. A study that has been repeated year on year has reconfirmed over and over again that at least, 20% of us NEVER get to keep with our respective NEW YEAR's resolutions, NEVER as in NEVER. Sounds fiction but that's an undeniable statistic repeated year on year❎❎❎ Our takeaway: Often times, it is a case of understanding WHAT a good goal is and HOW to implement it. And this could mean learning the SMART model [i.e. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely]. It can also like engaging others to support our good INTENTIONS. Recent studies show that when there is a follow through, it increases by at least 20% the probability of achieving the good INTENTIONS. So, how far can you go with your good INTENTIONS dude???
