It's NOT What You Say. It's HOW You Say It.
Research shows that the average person speaks at least 7,000 words per day, with many more speaking much more than that. Think about what that means to us, to you. Those 7,000 words [at least] you speak each day are your very imprint to the world, whew!But do we know that in real life, practically everyone of us get misunderstood or even misinterpreted arising from our words ?The mother of all ironies is that 80% of the time, miscommunications & misunderstandings arise NOT because of the WORDS WE SAY but instead it is because HOW WE SAY those words When we disagree with someone's opinion, that is our inherent right but that's NOT the issue. It is HOW WE SAY it that often triggers all these miscommunications in our interactions.
Some real-life samplings of communications issues:
- Disagreeing with an opinion by ARGUING on it.
- Expressing frustration WRONGLY to someone else.
- Ventilating your anger with MISPLACED emotions.
- Spewing out words that hurt SENSITIVE people.
- FALSELY raising expectations beyond what to do
- Becoming SUBJECTIVE when you can be objective
- Giving feedback in a DESTRUCTIVE manner.
- THUMBING down an idea but with no idea to give
And where do words most matter ? They matter most in relationships. At home, in school, at work, even in business. How many relationships that were used to be pictured as those of 'soul mates' only for things to get sour ? How many relationships we have seen even within families which just evaporated in thin air, all because of communications ? In business, have we heard of business partners who infused both financial, talent and all the effort and by the time their business was reaping the revenues 'beyond the roof', each of the business partners went their separate ways, all because of communications ?
Yes, this is spot on. PHRASING MATTERS. And when do frictions arise ? Wait till after someone reacts. Then fireworks will start. Friction gets triggered. Could all those been avoided ? ABSOLUTELY ! But we need to exert our darn efforts not just in the words we state but what matters most is the way we DELIVER and EXPRESS those words. Not a tall order, though. We can achieve that✅✅✅