Let's Stop Being PEOPLE-PLEASER

Let's Stop Being PEOPLE-PLEASER

Once upon a time, I was a PEOPLE-PLEASER, indeed a real pushover.  Honestly, I DIDN'T know WHERE other people ended and began and my decisions were based on WHAT would make other people happy OR comfortable.  I remember I was a neophyte in the workforce and here I come stepping into the confines of a blue-chip global organization.  And alas, for the very first time in my life, I was getting introduced in working with expat executives from the U.K., the Netherlands, Venezuela and Japan.  And for quite a number of years, I was literally going with the flow.  WHEN a social 'instigator' will organize an out-of-town sortie, I remember being one of the first to signup to every suggestion, every idea, every proposition. All along, I thought that made me easygoing, likable, and generally pretty cool.  Little did I know that it really just made me lost, confused and pretty much unlikable.  I realized that WHEN you go through life as a PEOPLE-PLEASER, you AREN'T living on your own terms.  Unfortunately, I learned that years after.   Let's Stop Being PEOPLE-PLEASER📗📙📘

All along, I [wrongly] thought that I was being nice, likeable, agreeable and even 'drama-free'.  BUT years after those 'lost years', I realized that keeping  your true self beneath the surface DOESN'T do anyone any favors.  Instead, it just results in you being surrounded by rude, selfish, and sometimes unforgiving people WHO, instead of appreciating that you've put their needs first, things end up with them treating you like a doormat.  Indeed, that was despicable to say the least😂😂😂

My personal realization in my past ordeals is that we CAN'T use PEOPLE-PLEASING in the same way other people use drugs, alcohol or even chronic shopping as a way to avoid the discomfort of others' disapproval.  And WHEN it came to being disliked, invalidated OR perceived as being in the wrong side of things, I thought I was a 'BIG BABY' then.  Those times, I could get into my 'child traumas' and the events that prompted my need to PLEASE PEOPLE💧💧💧

BUT what is of most paramount importance in all these is the real story how I [STILL] ended up overcoming my PEOPLE PLEASING dilemma.  Because if you're anything like I was then, you know that at some point, you just have to STOP trying to PLEASE others and do something for yourself for a change, at the very least.  Sitting around and praying for people to understand how much pressure they put on you, OR hoping they'll one day lessen their demands [OR call it drama?] is futile.  Without changing their own  behaviors this kind of wishing and hoping ISN'T just foolish, it's straight up counterproductive.  Good grief, my own realizations DIDN'T come so late, otherwise I could be like a 'wreak', huhu❎❎❎

My takeaway:  To reach my realizations, I went back to bare knuckles basic rudiments in life.  Like becoming SELF-AWARE as WHEN we invite our thoughts and feelings into awareness, we have that opportunity to learn from them.  Doing this, it gave me a better handle on my impulse to please and allowed me to notice WHEN I WASN'T being helpful.  To cap it off, I did realize that doing too much hurts, rather than helps, even relationships.  WHY?  Because even if your intentions were good, they ultimately hindered the overall effectiveness of relationships.  LET'S STOP BEING PEOPLE-PLEASERs💥💥💥