Do You OWE Anyone?

Do You OWE Anyone?

Do You OWE Anyone?  Other than monies, no sirrrrs, we DON'T OWE anyone.  We could hear those sad childhood narratives when as a child, he/she felt UNloved and UNaccepted whenever he/she disappointed his/her parents.  And then, that you feel LOVED only when you follow their rules and act according to their expectations??? Then, as you matured, you ended up [wrongly] thinking that it was your duty to PLEASE everyone and carry the weight of the world on your shoulders?  In the end, you [wrongly] concluded that your needs and wants DIDN'T matter as long as everyone else is happy📗📙📘

Fast-forward, years after, we would realize all those are UNTRUE.  In fact, you DON'T owe anyone anything.  And your only responsibility is to make sure your mental health and well-being are your priority and that's it.  So, let's call a spade a spade.  You have every right to put yourself first.  Period.  In fact and in truth, you DON'T owe anyone an explanation.  BTW, it does NOT matter WHAT others think.  All that matters is WHAT's true for you.  Your dreams are yours and you DON'T even need to justify them.  No one has the right to tell you WHAT's right OR wrong and nobody has the right to tell you that your dreams are impossible dreams and unreal.  No one because all that matters is the real score💧💧💧

Now, let's tackle real life 'realities'.  Sometimes, people seem doing you a favor and you thought, all that is happening in GOOD FAITH.  BUT the harsh truth is that they DON'T say it openly but truthfully, they are proposing a deal.  It's akin to 'YOU SCRATCH MY BACK, I'LL SCRATCH YOURS'.  Sadly [and frustratingly] they make you look at it as from their end, whew.  And then WHEN you least expect it, they will bring up WHAT they did for you.  OR worse, they will saddle you with obligations you never accepted in the first place.  People WHO act like that are hiding behind a false concept of GRATITUDE as they think that anytime they do someone a favor, there's that [implied] understanding that it will be reciprocated.  Really, a QUID PRO QUO❓❓❓

So, WHERE does the problem lie?  It lies with those people WHO act like that are hiding behind a FALSE concept of gratitude.  Problem is, they NEVER check WHETHER the other person thinks this way too.  They just show up to claim their favor OR expect you to do something for them, without even asking you.  And if you DON'T, they WON'T just feel offended.  The likelihood is they will vent their anger on you, feeling and ending up as the victim!  Too late in the day, though, you would realize that the favor was NOT a favor but rather a TRAP, a form of control & manipulation💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Let's reconcile the huge disconnect that causes all the misalignments.  There are contexts WHERE it is clear that WHEN someone does you a favor, you then owe it back to them.  Politics is an example. It also happens at work.  If you cover for a colleague, you expect them to do the same to you in the future if you would need it.  In both examples, there is a factor that makes the equation transparent as they are favors between people with a practical relationship😀😀😀