Say The Words You Want To Hear

Say The Words You Want To Hear

How often we blurt out 'THAT's MUSIC TO MY EARS'?  YES it's true, Say The Words You Want To Hear, no more no less.  In pedestrian lingo, it's akin to saying 'SCRATCH MY BACK AND I'LL SCRATCH YOURS' [as well].  BUT to piggy-back with the jargon from psychologists, they tell us that the timing of our brain wave shapes HOW we perceive our environment.  And that we are MORE likely to perceive events WHEN their timing coincides with the timing of relevant brain waves.  In fact, we DON'T need to look far.  Look at yourself, comforting others with words you want to hear.  Sometimes, it does amaze me HOW I can give advice to someone even without experiencing their situation .  I vividly recall that time I was VPO [Volunteer Probation Officer] with the Singapore government.  There I was, counselling juveniles [including their parents] WHEN I was never a juvenile📗📙📘

Those years, I found myself speaking words of comfort and offering counsel, solutions and support to the juvenile delinquents under my purview and custodianship.  Looking back, I now realized that sometimes it seemed strange HOW easily those words I need to speak just kept flowing into me [AS IF I had rehearsed them many times in mind].  And I was in tight situations those times as I was like 'walking the tightrope', doing a balancing act between my counselled teens and their parents/guardians [WHO by themselves seemed lost in the maze as well]💧💧💧

And WHEN I talk to someone going through a tough time, I hear myself saying things I wish someone had said to me.  I tell them to stay strong, to keep going, that I am proud of them, and that WHEN YOU'RE DOWN , THE ONLY WAY TO GO WAS UPWARDS.  Oh Oh, I have to admit I had my fair share of challenges in life which I want to hear as well WHEN I do face my own challenges.  And trust me, I was on the receiving end many times and I realized I was blessed enough to hear those words [EVEN when I least expected].  Oh YES, I often realized that the advisories I have been giving in an unsolicited way are words that will help in encouraging others to make me feel like I am capable of handling even my fair share of challenges and problems💥💥💥

An insight here is that whenever I am giving advice to others, I do feel that SENSE OF CLARITY.  The worries that cloud my own mind seem to lift WHEN I focus on someone else's needs.  Indeed, that was always a reminder that we all need to hear positive words and that sometimes, we have to be the ones to say them [EVEN IF it's just to ourselves].  On the other hand, listening to others and offering advice helps me to see my own life from a different perspective.  I begin to understand that the strength and hope I give to others also lie within me.  And it's as though by helping them, I am helping myself to grow✅✅✅

Our takeaway: Please DON'T get me wrong.  I am NOT implying that we'll scratch someone's back ONLY IF they scratch our back too. Counselling and advising is all about manifestations of words shared NOT just for others.  Those words remind us as well that we are NOT alone, that we are strong enough, and that, on our own, we can overcome our difficulties.  That's more than a 'shot in the arm' each time we SAY WORDS WE WANT TO HEAR as well😀😀😀