Interruptions, Anyone?

 

INTERRUPTIONS, anyone?  Supposedly, INTERRUPTIONS should be the least of our worries, right?  Rightfully so EXCEPT WHEN it's either recurring more often OR even if it does rarely, it is impacting you, your focus, your thought process.  And more often, a lot of bigger issues in life initially pop-up as those little insignificant and inessential stuff😡😡😡

And WHEN INTERRUPTIONs become quite constant, it can indeed be difficult to deal with BUT understanding a bit more with a broader perspective can help us cope with it.  Oh YES, recognizing WHY INTERRUPTIONS happen is a great place to start.  And before we look around elsewhere, it should NOT take much effort from our end to do a SELF-ASSESSMENT in case there is something to be rectified OR at least improved from us, maybe the way we articulate? OR probably we have behavioral body language that seems to trigger the 'INTERRUPTERs'???

Oh yes, DISCUSSIONS matter so much in our daily life, be it at home, at work OR even in our business forays.  And a DISCUSSION can take only so many INTERRUPTIONs before it ceases to be a DISCUSSION.  For that reason, chronic INTERRUPTIONs are 'conversation-killers' that will expectedly disrupt even the healthiest exchange of information.  YES, listening to experts, we need to have a better grasp of that psychology of INTERRUPTING😂😂😂

• CULTURE/FAMILY BACKGROUND - Some tendencies to INTERRUPT can stem from cultural differences.  That may mean like a natural behavior for them.
• NEED FOR CONTROL - There are some INTERRUPTERs WHO are goal-driven, impatient people WHO likes 'straight to the point'.  At times, we find out that there are ELEPHANTS IN THE ROOM😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Facing the mirror, allow me to share my self-realizations as well:

• EXCESSIVE EXCITEMENT - That has happened to me multiple times, with excitement taking over me as WHEN I am unable to go straight to the point, INTERRUPTERs end up interrupting me
• LACK of AWARENESS - Chronic INTERRUPTERs sometimes have NO idea they are even doing it.  As the Singaporean expression goes, "IT'S AS PER NORMAL"

Dude, next time around, can we handle INTERRUPTIONs much better???

Silent Treatment, Anyone?

 

SILENT TREATMENT, ANYONE?  Supposedly, this should be a NON-ISSUE, a NON-TOPIC in fact.  BUT rightfully, that's NOT how things would go anyways.  And WHETHER that behavior OR manifestation is abusive depends on the person doing it and their motivation.  WHEN I was in grade school, I did pick up some rarely used vocabulary like OXYMORON, which essentially, is a figure of speech that brings together those contradictory terms and 'ORGANIZED CHAOS' is a popular OXYMORON BUT to translate it in more relevant terms, I'd like to tag it as that DEAFENING SILENCE, that SILENT TREATMENT that seemingly goes unnoticed even WHEN, at times, you are on the receiving end📗📙📘

And if have been on the receiving end of that SILENT TREATMENT, we would know HOW powerful [and often times painful] SILENCE can be.  BUT the perplexing question is:  WHY IS THAT?  To put things in perspective, let's align that SILENT TREATMENT is that act of withholding communication, that common stonewalling behavior that can be either intentional OR unintentional.  For some, that is a coping mechanism BUT for others, it is that way of causing harm.  BUT you might play devil's advocate and ask HOW SILENCE can be harmful.  And psychologists claim that it has to do with the effect 'social exclusion' has on our bodies and minds💥💥💥

Experts tell us that our sympathetic nervous system reacts WHEN we think that a 'social bond' is under threat.  To quote their studies, our 'dorsal anterior cingulate cortex' [that region of our brain responsible for processing pain] lights up.  In layman's terms, being ignored OR rejected hurts.  NOW, WHETHER the hurt is done purposely is essential to know BUT only up to a point.  And across the board, that 'SILENT TREATMENT' is a behavior that indicates poor communication, conflict resolution and emotional regulation skills.  Sadly, SILENT TREATMENT comes to us in different forms and shapes😡😡😡

Just to state the obvious, SILENT TREATMENT happens IF:

• WHEN you are intentionally IGNORED
• WHEN people DON'T respond WHEN you reach out
• Hours, days and weeks without communicating to you
• WHEN they talk to others [sometimes in front of you] YET they DON'T talk to you
• WHEN they leave without telling you WHEN to be back and WHERE are they bound for
• WHEN they act AS IF nothing is wrong and instead, would even initiate acts OR deeds to provoke you

Our takeaway:  WHAT is alarming is WHEN SILENT TREATMENT is NO less than an ABUSE as it impacts a person in a variety of ways.  For 'people-pleasers' OR those with history of trauma, SILENT TREATMENT is frightening no less.  And things can get worse WHEN that SILENT TREATMENT becomes destabilizing, leading one to confusion and self-doubt.  WHAT's worst is WHEN one questions himself for getting that SILENT TREATMENT, ouch!@#$%?

Positive Psychology, Anyone?

Positive Psychology, Anyone?

Before I get suspected of having forays into Psychology, I need to admit that WHAT enamors me with POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY boils down to the fact that it posits that you are happy WHEN you feel as if your life is going well.  And beyond just offering strategies for recovering from mental illness, POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY is about achieving an optimal level of functioning by building upon a person's strengths in both personal and professional life even as it focuses in increasing our experience of POSITIVE states like happiness, joy, contentment, life satisfaction, gratitude, optimism, love and so on.  This is how far reaching POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY can be POSITIVELY impactful into our life.  Positive Psychology, Anyone???

Picking the brains of psychology experts, they tell us that HAPPINESS has three components namely:

• MOMENTARY MOOD - How you feel right now
• LIFE SATISFACTION - Your overall life evaluation
• ASSESSMENT of SPECIFIC DOMAINS - Work, relationships, finances, health, etc

So, WHY are POSITIVE emotions and life satisfaction important for us to increase our consciousness???

Do you know that POSITIVE EMOTIONS mean:

• Better immune functions, even faster healing
• Longer life [WHO doesn't want this?]
• Increased success at work [that's good tidings]
• Better ability to cope with challenges 
• Better quality of relationships
• Improved prosocial behavior

So much verbiage.  The question you might ask me now is, WHAT IS GOOD LIFE anyways?  Dr Seligman, a respected expert in POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY, uses the PERMA Model, i.e.:

• Positive emotion - that's what we feel
• Engagement - that's being in 'flow'
• Relationships - that's nurturing, rewarding
• Meaning - serving a purpose bigger than you
• Accomplishment - Pursuing towards mastery

Our takeaway:  Let's avoid jargons here, and instead, dice and drill things.  With challenges, can we focus on problem solving INSTEAD of venting?  Can we count our BLESSINGS?  And practice gratitude?  And take time to engage in random acts of KINDNESS?  And YES, be kind to yourself, be LESS critical?  And savor experiences and prolong your enjoyment?  And avoid temptations to complain and reinforce negativity?  At the end of the day, we will be the primary beneficiary of our POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY😊😊😊

Monk Mode, Anyone?

Monk Mode, Anyone?

First off, what is MONK MODE?  This gained its popularity on platforms like TikTok is, at its core, a productivity-hack inspired by Zen-like focus of monks.  This personal development trend took off on TikTok last year with #monkmode racking up more than 77 million views.  Monk Mode, Anyone? So, MONK MODE is all about embracing principles like mindfulness, minimalism, and purposeful work. The idea is to unplug from the usual chaos and focus on WHAT truly matters by giving yourself yourself permission to concentrate on a task at hand📗📙📘

It's true that we all live in an extremely hyper-connected world [and ironically, WHEN we get hit with an internet OR power outage, it's like the end-of-the world], so it's no longer surprising that we get constantly bombarded with distractions.  Can we imagine reading a book while in the middle of Japan's Shibuya Crossing?  OR New York's Time Square?  OR Jakarta's Monas roundabout?  No way, Jose❗❗❗

So, WHAT's this craze all about MONK MODE?  As this is entirely new to me, let me take a leaf from what I do read.  That MONK MODE offers a respite from all the chaos that keeps challenging us.  That MONK MODE gives us the ability to set aside time for deep work and reflection.  And WHILE many are using it to simply ignore distractions and embraced a focused work instead, others find it helpful to give up bad habits such as drinking alcohol, eating junk food, getting hooked with drugs OR even getting 'hostaged' by social media💥💥💥

And according to the strong advocates of MONK MODE, this is NOT just a productivity hack BUT instead, a lifestyle change [drastic as it may be] that encourages us to be more intentional with our time.  And to the advocates, MONK MODE is akin to putting our brain on a high-performance cleanse as it strips away all possible distractions even as it sharpens our focus and even boosts our self-confidence😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  Surely, just at that tipping point WHEN you stumbled across the word 'MONK' you might have blurted out like, "I'M NOT A BUDDHIST" but hey dude, this is NOT about religion or faith at all.  This is simply embracing the best of both worlds, adopting the best practices which, by coincidence, MONKs are most noted for.  So, let's take a pulse check.  MONK MODE, ANYONE???

Active Listening, Anyone?

Active Listening, Anyone?

What's the most simple obvious GIVEN in life ?It is the fact that when we speak, maybe 99% do LISTEN to us.  BUT Active Listening, Anyone?  For alignment, allow me to quote from Mr Google which defines ACTIVE LISTENING as a way of LISTENING and RESPONDING to another person that improves mutual understanding.  So, back to my frank question:  How often do we do ACTIVE LISTENING?  Probably, a plurality do.  You'll be surprised with the numbers below📗📙📘

Surveys show that between 70-80% of the day we're engaged in some form of communication, of which, 55% is devoted to LISTENING.  But WHAT is quite alarming is that on average, the average LISTENER only remembers a measly 25% of a talk OR conversation😑😑😑

Thing is, oftentimes, we DON'T retain WHAT we hear.  In fact, the tests from Harvard Business Review attests that the average LISTENER does remember 25% [ONLY] of a talk or lecture.  ACTIVE LISTENING requires much deeper attention and empathy, which ideally leads to greater understanding.  It is the practice of paying FULL ATTENTION to what someone is saying in order to demonstrate unbiased reflection😀😀😀

This is NOT just about the benefits to our career.  Empathy, the very basis of ACTIVE LISTENING, is crucial in building meaningful relationships.  ACTIVE LISTENING can even help you to manage your emotions, retain data or information much better and where there are gaps, conflicts or disconnects, ACTIVE LISTENING is very key in helping resolve such conflicts📌📌📌

The rising demand for social and emotional skills [and that includes ACTIVE LISTENING] is projected to grow by more than 20% between 2016 and 2030 and that projection cuts across industries.  BTW, won't you get FRUSTRATED [at the very least] if you're talking intently but obviously, the person you're talking to, simply blurts back with his spiel?  Time for ACTIVE LISTENING, anyone please❗❗❗

PRESSURE, Anyone?

PRESSURE, Anyone?

Many of us DON'T hate PRESSURE.  Truth is, ALL OF US hate PRESSURE.  PRESSURE, Anyone? The GOOD NEWS is that studies show that PRESSURE is a PRIVILEGE.  For most of us, the thought of being under any sort of PRESSURE can be overwhelming.  However, the brightest diamonds are formed under PRESSURE💴💷💵

Let's talk about our careers or any aspect of our life.  It is imperative and important to understand that PRESSURE is a good thing.  That said, it is also important to know HOW to avoid collapsing under its weight.  Despite the NEGATIVE stuff and connotations that come with it, there are zillion reasons WHY PRESSURE is indeed a GOOD THING for us📘📗📙

And one of the obvious reasons WHY PRESSURE is a GOOD THING is that it reflects the person's status of their ABILITY-LEVEL.  If you're in a situation where you are being put under a lot of PRESSURE, it probably means you have proven yourself to a certain level so MORE is expected of you.  In addition to giving you a major confidence boost, this level of PRESSURE also lets you know WHERE you are in the FOOD CHAIN.  If a lot of people need you for a variety of tasks, that is a clear indication that they have confidence in your abilities and can count on you to get it done✅✅✅

BUT here's the catch.  PRESSURE has its downsides!  There are times WHERE too much PRESSURE can be applied to someone due to unreasonable expectations and in some cases, people find themselves in a position they DIDN'T earn because of either luck or a mistake.  In those situations, PRESSURE can take a heavy toll as the person DOESN'T need the position they are in❌❌❌

PRESSURE usually reveals a person's TRUE COLORS.  If they are incapable of doing WHAT needs to be done OR willing to do dishonest things to reach their goals, those are the signs they AREN'T suited for the role and eventually it will all become too much of a PRESSURE for them.  So WHAT'S our takeaway?  It is important to remember WHAT got you there in a situation.  And there are many ways that you can work with your PRESSURE in order to make the most out of it❗❗❗

Dopamine Detox, Anyone?

 Dopamine Detox, Anyone?

Mr Google defines Dopamine Detox as a process that involves FASTING from activities or pleasures that produce DOPAMINE so that the drive for quick rewards decreases.  Some people may do a BASIC Dopamine Detox which lasts for a few hours or days whereas others may go through a more extreme process that lasts months.   Dopamine Detox, Anyone❓❓❓

Before going on, please allow me to clarify that whatever I'm sharing for now are coming straight from my opinion and NOT experience[s] because till to date, I DON'T see that I need to go on a Dopamine Detox, YET.  BUT everything starts within us to realize how much time [on average] do we spend on our gadget, our smart devices, on social media💴💷💵

But numerous studies resulted in common conclusions that Dopamine Detox activated his/her brain.  And the reason is just so obvious.  It's simply because they realize they got a lot of FREE TIME.  Second, it's because people COULDN'T rely on the many convenient features of our smart phones and devices.  Which means they had to be CREATIVE enough📗📙📘

And once their CREATIVITY kicked in, they had to find alternative ways to solve their problems that wouldn't have even arisen with a phone.  And that made them reflect on how people used to handle things before the era of smartphones.  And surprisingly, they realized that they accomplished a lot without the help of those smart phones and devices❎❎❎

Another realization that need NOT be debated was that they had LESS stress and MORE mindfulness.  Without that phone OR laptop, they couldn't stay in touch with people from their life.  And they felt that was a liberating feeling to NOT receive constant notifications and NOT have to worry about immediate replies.  Dopamine Detox, Anyone❓❓❓

Jealousy, Anyone?

Jealousy, Anyone?

Jealousy, Anyone? WHO has not been JEALOUS in his/her life?  Absolutely NO ONE, because we're all just humans. JEALOUSY will make us feel all kinds of things, name it.  It will make us feel as if NOTHING is going right in our life and that everyone around you is somehow much better and more capable than you.  JEALOUSY remains an essential feeling that we encounter sometimes in our lives💴💷💵

While for some the emotion surfaces a bit too easily, there are others WHO fail to feel JEALOUS, no matter how hard you try.  And sometimes we'll be wondering HOW can one NOT feel JEALOUS ever, right?  It's true.  Once you have complete FAITH IN YOURSELF, feeling JEALOUS won't be a common occurrence📗📙📘

Realizing your self-worth is necessary OR you'll be drawn to bigger chunks of NEGATIVITY gripping your life.  People WHO get JEALOUS easily, face situational problems like inability to deal with difficult circumstances in a calm manner, killing the motivational drive and many more harmful impacts.  JEALOUSY makes you feel like giving up in times WHEN and WHERE it is necessary to SUCCEED💎💎💎

It then makes you feel LESS OF A PERSON than you actually are.  Your mind begins to critically analyze everything in a VERY negative sense.  You begin doubting the actions of people around you and critic every response OR action of theirs.  From our childhood, we were taught to TRUST and LOVE people around us.  WHEREAS the actions of JEALOUS people are extremely contrary to WHAT we were taught❎❎❎

Our takeaway here is that we should always be happy with WHAT we have been blessed with, and work hard to achieve our GOALS and ambitions.  JEALOUS people tend to undermine themselves and constantly compare themselves to others.  Oh Oh, that feeling itself will destroy one's faith in themselves.  Worse, it will slowly diminish your relationship[s] and friendship[s].  Do change overnight and DUMP JEALOUSY out the window, please❗❗❗

Hard Problems, Anyone?

Hard Problems, Anyone?

No sirrrrs, I'm NOT putting up a false front as a Mr FIX IT, not at all.  Instead, we'd like to share common [and proven] practices to handle Hard Problems, if at all.  BUT hey, this is life, we face PROBLEMS everyday no matter how perfect we think we and our life are.  PROBLEMS are there and they aren't going anywhere UNLESS we face them and FIX it💴💷💵

Acknowledging our problems, solving them, and getting on with our life is better than making it all a BIG DEAL.  Frankly, if I realize something early in life, it's that PROBLEMS should NOT become a source of our sorrow, hurt and worst, grief.  WHEN getting on with our life, we may encounter plenty of barriers and issues that may distract us from our real path.  Sometimes, we DON'T have our full potentials to deal with the issues BUT if we know WHAT we are dealing with, we can do better.  Once we have a clear perspective of WHAT problems we have in our life, there is an absolutely high probability that we can deal with them in a much better way📗📙📘

NOT to dampen hopes or darken the horizons, it's best that we rattle off the most common problems in life so that IF [with crossed fingers] it hits us, we WON'T like fall off from our chair.  HEALTH CRISIS is one.  There just comes a time in our life when we or someone within our family is NOT healthy💎💎💎

WORKPLACE issues.  For it to happen, it's just normal.  There is just NOTHING perfect.  NEW organization.  NEW colleagues.  NEW client.  NEW project,  You just got to face an issue head-on.  EMPTINESS?  Yes, let's admit it.  Now and then, our life becomes dull, seemingly unproductive [although we think we're productive enough] and sometimes, we get a feeling that there is NOTHING we can change.  And that leads to EMPTINESS❎❎❎

FAILURE.  Whew, this could be one of the worst problems ever.  FAILURE is something we got to learn dealing with because this is a FACT OF LIFE.  BUT trust me, we should be able to face [and even contain] FAILURE by accepting it and MOVING ON.  FINANCIAL CRISIS may also knock us off from time to time.  C'mon, even if you thought you're READY enough financially, there will be BAD TIMES when it will hit you [sometimes HARD].  HARD PROBLEMS?  Should be 'NO PROBLEM.  BEEN THERE.  DONE THAT'❗❗❗

Multitasking, Anyone?

Multitasking, Anyone?

Anyone pushing you hard for Multitasking?  I won't blame them. Likely, they see all of its upsides and very little, if at all, of its downsides and I'll confess that many years back, I was so gung-ho Multitasking until, one day, when I was attending my battery of IBM trainings, I learned that although IBM was aggressively marketing MPP's [massive parallel processors], deep into its architecture, the processor was breaking up processes into MULTI-THREADS📗📙📘

Even this comparative chart shows us an apples-to-apples comparison of our brain when Single-tasking versus Multitasking and what does this tell us?  THAT doing only a thing at a time is a surprisingly powerful way to become more productive.  ON the surface, this makes zero sense on the premise that doing more is the faster path to productivity❓❓❓

BUT today, I will stand my ground and vehemently argue that that ISN'T the case here.  Doing more than one thing at a time is a great way to become busier and it's usually a more engaging way of working.  When we try doing multiple things at the same time, our brain is more stimulated and it releases DOPAMINE💎💎💎

BUT study after study has shown that while MULTITASKING can be stimulating, and may even make us feel more productive, it invariably makes us less productive.  WHY?  Because the attention we can give to WHAT'S in front of us gets limited.  Every moment, our brain is flooded with information [and that includes sights, sounds, words, thoughts] BUT it can only focus on so much✅✅✅

The very rich history of chess as a game is peppered with stories of chess greats, amongst which is American Bobby Fisher and today, Norwegian Magnus Carlsen is lording it over the field.  BUT how come even the best super-grandmasters spend anywhere from two to six hours just for one game when all along they are SINGLE-TASKING?  It's because that myth about MULTITASKING has been shattered and destroyed even as we speak now❗❗❗