Focus On Yourself, PERIOD

Focus On Yourself, PERIOD

WHEN was the last time you stopped to consider your needs without also taking into account WHAT someone else needs.  So, WHAT does Focus On Yourself mean?  Focusing on yourself means prioritizing your OWN needs and desires rather than those of other people.  That DOESN'T mean you're actively working against others.  It simply means you AREN'T depleting yourself to make them happy.  I recall hearing someone share his insights WHEREIN he said it's helpful to think of your life as a garden with each flower representing a component of your well-being, comparing it to the Daffodils as representing work demands, roses as your romantic relationship, daisies as friendships📗📘📙

So, this brings us back one full circle.  WHY is it important to focus on yourself?  If your life is a garden, focusing on yourself is about refilling your watering can, so you can continue to care for each aspect of your life.  Even like making time for your hobbies and big goals can help boost our self-esteem.  And that improved self-worth can likely overflow into your work and even your relationships.  And to borrow an opinion by psychologists, "YOU'LL HAVE POSITIVE ENERGY WHEN YOU'RE AROUND OTHERS".  As an analogy, taking time for yourself can also help you identify the flowers that demand too much water❎❎❎

As an example, you might end a toxic relationship to better focus on your career OR you might change jobs to have more time with your family.  This may feel like being selfish at first.  BUT actually, stepping back is an opportunity to improve yourself and refocus on WHAT you want in your life.  BUT let's face it, finding the 'right balance' is damn difficult.  With multifarious competing priorities in our life, our tendency to try doing everything all in one go can be and assuredly draining.  So, WHERE do we go from here???

Heeding the advice of experts, let us recognize that "NO" by itself is a complete sentence.  In some cases, it may be helpful to provide a reason for setting boundaries in life.  LIKE WHEN you need 'space' from your best friend OR significant other, a conversation may help protect the relationship.  BUT in most instances, though, a conversation may help protect the relationship.  BUT in most instances, you DON'T have to justify yourself.  IF you DON'T want to attend a party, a simple curt advice LIKE "I CAN'T MAKE IT BUT THANKS FOR INVITING ME" will be acceptable, right???

Our takeaway:  At the end of the day, we need to let people feel HOW they will feel.  If someone is hurt because you're spending time on yourself, WHY DON'T we allow them to process their feelings as well as they have the right to their emotions just as you have the right to your space.  Yesirrrrrs, eventually people will get used to your newly delineated 'boundary'.  And in case they DON'T support you taking care of yourself, that may help you safely conclude that MAYBE they DON'T deserve to be clubbed as part of those WHOM you consider as your "GREAT" friends.   Bottomline is, BE KIND TO YOURSELF [way prior to extending your kindness elsewhere].  Yes, it is very noteworthy to take care of others BUT NOTHING BEATS SELF-CARE [HOW can you take care of others then if you are unwell]???

Be Genuine, Period

Be Genuine, Period

Not to be defensive but the real truth is I have tons and tons of imperfections BUT NOT being GENUINE is NOT one of them.  In fact, to Be GENUINE, I hold it closest to my heart more than anything else.  It's true to that being TRUE to oneself takes confidence, tenacity and often even bravery WHICH is WHY people tend to gravitate toward those WHO are genuine and authentic.  Let's face it, across cultures and societies, we tend to value GENUINE people and think poorly of those WHOM we perceive as being 'FAKE'.  BUT the question is, WHY IS THAT❓❓❓

Just like children, we adults are strongly encouraged to 'ALWAYS SPEAK HOW YOU FEEL and NEVER BE SORRY FOR BEING REAL'.  After all, WHAT motivates 'FAKENESS' is an effort to appear more appealing OR impressive, so shouldn't we find people WHO care about our opinions more appealing than those WHO, by definition, do their own thing regardless of WHAT we think?  BUT we shouldn't think along those lines because it does NOT augur well from a GENIUINENESS perspective💦💦💦

BUT in essence, we should be more likely to trust a GENUINE person than a fake one because we believe those WHO are true to themselves are also lively to be truer and more honest to us.  As we often associate GENUINENESS with appealing traits such as strength of character and emotional resilience and correctly so, as being true to yourself takes confidence, tenacity and sometimes, even some semblance of bravery💥💥💥

As research studies show, many 'JOURNEYS' of self-improvement and self-discovery involve efforts to live a more authentic life.  Adopting the below-listed habits given by experts will go a long way to help us become a more GENUINE person:

1. GENUINE PEOPLE SPEAK THEIR MINDS
2. GENUINE PEOPLE RESPOND TO INTERNAL EXPECTATIONS, and NOT TO EXTERNAL ONES
3. GENUINE PEOPLE FORGE PATHS
4. GENUINE PEOPLE ARE NOT THREATENED BY POTENTIAL FAILURE
5. GENUINE PEOPLE CAN ADMIT FAULTS
6. GENUINE PEOPLE ARE NOT JUDGMENTAL
7. GENUINE PEOPLE HAVE SOLID SELF- ESTEEM

Our takeaway:  Endeavor to develop that AUTHENTICITY within you.  This is self-initiated and no one else can push you on this.  Observe yourself objectively to develop that AUTHENTICITY and DON'T overlook the need to examine family belief systems to develop that AUTHENTICITY.  And DON'T miss out to identify discrepancies to further develop your AUTHENTICITY.  It can be done, dude✅✅✅

Just Stop OVERTHINKING, Period

Just Stop OVERTHINKING, Period

This is NOT the first time we'd like to touch on OVERTHINKING but sadly, these difficult times call for us to revisit this, albeit with no extreme urgency BUT of utmost importance to our daily lives.  For alignment, Google defines OVERTHINKING as those moments WHEN you dwell on OR worry about the same thing repeatedly.  People WHO OVERTHINK can be paralyzed by their worries and may even end up to struggle in arriving at an informed decision or to take action.  Can we Just Stop OVERTHINKING???

In my earlier piece, I recall highlighting OVERTHINKING as one of life's frustrating PARADOXES, i.e. THE MORE WE THINK, THE LESS WE WILL DO OR ACT ON IT and I firmly believe this is less debatable.  Much as many of us are aware of this situation, experts confirm that OVERTHINKING itself is NOT a mental illness symptom OR manifestation.  That should ease up for those [STILL] in denial💧💧💧

WHAT somehow complicates this seemingly simple concern is the fact that, according to psychologists, OVERTHINKING is more associated with conditions like depression, anxiety, eating disorders and YES, substance use.  And rumination can be common in people WHO have chronic pain and chronic illness as well, taking the form of NEGATIVE THOUGHTS about that pain and healing from it💦💦💦

There's a very interesting insight shared by experts here.  Sometimes, worry and rumination may trick the brain into associating itself with something beneficial OR productive.  The distorted understanding here is that like worry, for some people, the impression is that worrying shows that they care about something OR prepares them for the worst outcome so it can easily evolve in one's habit formation💥💥💥

Our takeaway?  Since this is a technical topic only experts have the full grasp, allow me to share the experts' advisories to stop OVERTHINKING:

• ACCEPT or DENY YOUR THOUGHTS - As thinking is a two-way street, it's on us to decide if we accept OR deny such thoughts
• RETRAIN YOUR BRAIN - Experts warn us that if our brain is left on its own, the brain will tend to OVERTHINK, so it's on us to retrain our brain like initiating a mind-clearing exercise.  Dude,  all is NOT lost on OVERTHINKING😄😄😄

Seize Opportunities, Period.

Seize Opportunities, Period.

As life is for living, we have been given this numerous OPPORTUNITIES in life which includes, amongst others, to have those UPs and those DOWNs, to learn, to grow.  Now, for us to maximize our experience we call 'LIFE', it is important that we make seizing the OPPORTUNITY one of the highest priorities in our life [and that is NOT just limiting to those random OPPORTUNITIES].   We got to Seize Opportunities, Period✅✅✅

BUT I'd like to qualify that this encouragement for us to grab OPPORTUNITIES does NOT include all those OPPORTUNITIES with either an ill-intent or anything that borders on BAD FAITH or inimical to yourself [like, WHY accept offer whose terms are NOT acceptable to you?].  Instead, we're encouraging you to seize those OPPORTUNITIES that life itself presents to you.  It's like, you can either go through this life and get to the end and realize that you are living with that REGRET of things NOT done, that you REGRET for time wasted, that you wasted your life📘📙📗

Looking back my past years, allow me to share these moments when I seized OPPORTUNITIES:

• WHEN at a raw age of 18, I realized I can wiggle out from the clutches of my parents so I can explore for OPPORTUNITIES out there in the metro
• WHEN after finally transitioning to live in the metro, I wasted no time to find a fixed-income job even when I was at that raw age of 18
• WHEN my career stabilized, I decided to aim for a managerial job [and presto, I got that plum job]
• WHEN I realized I hit the ceiling in the local market and decided to explore career options in Singapore
• WHEN I realized my career life in Singapore has 'plateaued' and it's time to 'normalize' my life💥💥💥

I heard this one-liner before, 'IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME'.  Yes, this suggests a straightforward path between people and the things that are good for them.  Present individuals with favorable OPPORTUNITIES and the theory goes, they will SEIZE those OPPORTUNITIES.  WHAT's the bottom line for all these?  You and me have those OPPORTUNITIES that are presented by itself.  And once we have those OPPORTUNITIES, we can go out in the world, be WHAT you want to be, do WHAT you want to do💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  NOT a threat BUT if you ignore OPPORTUNITIES, then the quality of your life will likely degrade.  And as a domino effect, you will feel like you AREN'T growing and worse, that deep inside you could be 'dying', figuratively speaking.  Note that we were put in this planet to go after everything in life that means 'something' to us.  We should be going out and striving to do the things that we really care about.  Another way of saying OPPORTUNITIES KNOCK ONLY ONCE❗❗❗

We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period

 We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period

Much as we hate FAILUREs and we DON'T want it, We Need FAILUREs In Our Life, Period.  I have to admit there is no single dissenting opinion here in as much we all like and need SUCCESS and NOT those FAILURES.  BUT dude, FAILURES happen day-in day-out, to anyone, to everyone.  No such thing where there is an immunity from FAILURES, whether you are the Elon Musk, Bill Gates or just any Tom, Dick and Harry.  That explains WHY WE NEED FAILURES📗📙📘

WHY?  Because FAILURES are the stepping stones to SUCCESS.  We got so many teachers in life BUT the #1 teacher are our FAILURES in life.  It is one of the things to deal with which happens with us frequently in life.  BUT it is very important in life because it teaches us to learn more and try more [that is IF we want to heed the LESSONS arising from FAILURES].  True, FAILURES can make us feel ineffective, inadequate, isolated OR insecure.  FAILURES are that normal and are part and parcel of life which should be dealt with POSITIVELY📌📌📌

From FAILURES, the lessons about our very own shortcomings should be taken into account for better future performance.  We can always learn from our past mistakes and FAILURES and be careful to avoid them in the future.  FAILURES make us much wiser, more mature, determined and courageous enough to achieve our goals down the road.  Quite often, one solitary FAILURE can teach us one too many lessons as compared to any lessons we can pick up out of a SUCCESS we achieved💢💢💢

So, we can always learn from our past mistakes and failures and be careful to avoid them in the future.  FAILURE makes us wiser, MORE mature, determined and courageous to achieve our goals.  Often, a single FAILURE teaches us many things than a SUCCESS does.  Surely, it is fine to FAIL in life sometimes [because that is a FACT of LIFE] and that is how we get to taste the essence of SUCCESS.  When FAILURES come in life, it teaches us some great life lessons and it helps us to build our resilience and character and motivates us more💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  If we are NOT facing FAILURES, frankly, it means you are NOT living life because that's pure and simple baloney.  If we DON'T FAIL in life, then we will NOT be able to taste the essence of SUCCESS and it is necessary to FAIL in life once in a while to pave the way for us to go towards achieving our goals in life.  Factually, FAILURES can actually lead to SUCCESS if we learn and grow from it✅✅✅

Multitasking Is A MYTH, Period

Multitasking Is A MYTH, Period

Good day folks.  For our thread today, please allow me to kickstart off with this declarative statement that regardless, Multitasking Is A MYTH, Period, and this is NOT even a conditional statement.  What's frustrating is that MULTI-TASKING continues to be peddled and advocated by many of us when in truth, we can debunk MULTI-TASKING anytime we want💴💷💵

Way prior to even that Covid-19 pandemic did hit us hard, across all industries, we all hear MULTI-TASKING.  Let's be cautious, though, that there are cases when the GREEN LIGHT for MULTI-TASKING illuminates from the top of the organization, by and large, let us NOT drag management and our bosses into that MULTI-TASKING conundrum📗📙📘

In these frenetic times, the hustle, hurry and bustle have become a regular way of life for many of us, so much so that we have embraced a word to describe our never-ending efforts to respond to the many pressing demands of our time, spelled as M-U-L-T-I-T-A-S-K-I-N-G.  Let's blame the computing industry for this one and you can QUOTE me on this.  I can make this statement without batting an eyelash because back then, as I was working in IBM mainframe-based environments, that thing on MULTI-TASKING was supposedly in reference to the computing power of those mainframe computers at that time❌❌❌

With MULTI-TASKING coined for decades to describe the parallel processing power of the high-end computers, MULTI-TASKING has now evolved to be the shorthand for that human attempt to do simultaneously as many things as possible, as quickly as possible, preferably marshalling the power of as many technologies as possible, ALL-IN-ONE, where possible❎❎❎

Of course, way back the 1990s and 2000s, one sensed a kind of exuberance about the possibilities of MULTI-TASKING.  Even those advertisements for electronic gadgets celebrated the notion of using technology to accomplish several things at once.  BUT at what price?  FOCUS.  QUALITY.  And, even ironically, PRODUCTIVITY.  WHY?  Where QUALITY has been compromised, obviously PRODUCTIVITY dips, obviously.  So, it's a given that MULTI-TASKING IS A MYTH❗❗❗

It's About Teamwork, period

It's About Teamworkl, period

Our thread today is About Team[workl], period BUT the problem is this word TEAMWORK has been one of the most common, normal and usual word we ever come across in our daily life such that it hardly carries a weight [EXCEPT in competitive sports].  But hey, TEAMWORK is an essential part of accomplishing our responsibilities and goals.  Truthfully, NOTHING would ever get done without TEAMWORK.  When we work together, we can get things done faster and more accurately💎💎💎

Even we parents can and SHOULD teach our children [even at the early age] to SUCCEED.  And yes, it's true, every child has different strengths and skills, allowing children to practice TEAMWORK gives them a chance to develop and appreciate their special talents.  So HOW?  Allow me to take a leaf from what I can cull from my experiences in the past💊💊💊

Primero, seriously consider TEAMBUILDING.  Without breaching data privacy, in our organization, TEAMBUILDING is aggressively positioned as one of the TOP priorities even more than twelve years ago.  At one point, all managers all flew by air for two hours to hie away to Shangri-la at a TOP tourist destination in the south📌📌📌

BTW, deep-diving into our life, TEAMWORK is best manifesting CONSULTING with your partner/spouse in practically every decision-making that may impact or may have ramifications in our family situation, and that includes FINANCIALS.  A common pitfall of many couples, one partner is calling the shots while his/her partner/spouse remains clueless.  WAIT till things will explode RIGHT IN THE FACE, making the other clueless partner/spouse as ignorant as ever.  BUT that is just unfair because once the ramifications will kick-in, it will impact NOT just your partner/spouse but likely, it will impact your family at the very least.  YET, this major MISS is being shoved and pushed down under the carpets to keep it out of sight, UNFORTUNATELY✅✅✅

I would avoid touching on TEAMWORK within competitive sports because that's a given.  BUT allow me to harp over and over again that even as you age, and even as you and your partner/spouse see your children grow and have their own families, you can be darn proud that you WALKED THE TALK when it comes about TEAMWORK within the confines of our family life.  So, please, I'm egging you on, please DON'T give TEAMWORK a lip service❗❗❗

Steer Clear of Controversies, period

Steer Clear of Controversies, period.

Happy Sunday, enjoy your brewed coffee alongside our piece today.  Oh yes, this reminds me of one of the most basic NO-NOs in life.  That is, we need to remain to Steer Clear of Controversies, period.  Why?  First off, they are unnecessary.  And if it becomes unavoidable, ask ourselves, do we deserve to get embroiled in a controversy that can drag and worse, besmirch your name and character?

When this pandemic hit us hard, all over the world, we heard folks scampering to the supermarkets, attempting to scoop as much as they can during that 'panic buying' mode.  So POSTERIZED WARNINGS were placed all over the place.  And what if we did breach those POSTERIZED WARNINGS? We would have been caught, questioned and worst, penalized by the authorities, right?

Unless we are part of the forest wildlife, it does not take a huge human effort to Steer Clear of Controversies.  How?  READ the rules.  FOLLOW the rules [to the letter].  And worst of all worst things in life, NEVER EVER attempt to circumvent and go around the rules.  Being 'sneaky' can lead you to UNNECESSARY troubles which could have been EASILY avoided or averted in the first place.  Let us NOT be like those animals in the forest wildlife.

Oh yes, this is one of our most common mistakes [and I'd admit I made this same mistake over and over again in the past!], that is, making assumptions in a misplaced manner.  Classic example, something that did happen in the past becomes your assumption.  You got it all wrong, dude.  NEVER use the past as a barometer for your next move.

So what's our fix?  Be your own Mr FIX IT.  How?  WIDEN and EXPAND your perspective.  DON'T get 'hostaged' by the myopic [a.k.a. shortsighted] view of things.  If the solution you're eyeing for a problem will lead you to another round of problem [or worse, controversies], hold things in abeyance, STEER CLEAR of CONTROVERSIES, period❗❗❗

LIVE LIFE, period

LIVE LIFE, period.

Irish poet Oscar Wilde couldn't have said it much stronger: 'TO LIVE IS THE RAREST THING IN THE WORLD.  MOST PEOPLE JUST EXIST'. Hmmmm, I couldn't agree more.  It's frustrating but as a first-hand account, I am very much aware of tons of people who should be hard hit by this quote from one of the most respected playwright from Ireland.

As this is a most ambitious let lofty goal, where do we start ?  Start with yourself PLEASE.  Find your passion.  Appreciate yourself.  Fine to be tough but at the end of the day, let's admit that most of us got more positives than negatives.  Only the chronic rotten eggs should be at the precipice of giving up not because they are not capable but because they just DON'T CARE, not even to themselves.  Unfortunately, many of those who DON'T CARE for themselves are not aware of it.

Besides appreciating our own selves, look around [NOT JUST lurk around] and appreciate everything around you, even the flowers and more so nature.  Hell, why are witnessing those unprecented floods NOT JUST in the Third World but even in New York and Singapore ? Simple answer to the puzzle.  Nature has become second fiddle to anything and everything.  Not until we realize the predicament of our planet will we shape up, if I may speculate.

Oh, what does LIFE ON YOUR OWN TERMS really mean ?  Too bad [and it's pitiful] that many of us tend to stretch this term [on a direction that leads them to the abyss].  To many of us, living life ON YOUR OWN TERMS is taken that you can plot any path even if that path will lead  you to nowhere.  Those VICES, booze and the like, a lot of people we know did get hostaged to it.  Question is, HOW ARE THEY NOW ? If I may speculate, at best, they have been stalled in that state of stupor.  At best, things haven't worsened [probably because they are financially secure] but the time they wasted, is a BIG WASTE, to be blunt about it.

Oh, I didn't scribble this as this is from noted American poet Diane Ackerman and this one-liner is a 'bagful' because if till now we are remiss in our life, this should hit us hard.  But for those safely on the bandwagon, this should be the motivation that should trigger us to kick our butts hard enough.  Gaps in relationships ?  FIX IT.  Lost credibility at work.  FIX IT.  Floundering business.  FIX IT.  Petty squabbles, rubbish them out, NOW ! Within the past year and a half of this pandemic, more people died more than at any time this century, with the mortality rate catching up that of the 1914 Spanish Flu.  Only by fixing all these will you be in the pole position to LIVE LIFE✅✅✅