Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries

Akin to exercise, meditation and even budgeting, Setting Boundaries is our most common YET unseen challenge in our every day life.  YET, it's a reality we need to face and take action, one way OR the other.  Even so, finding the time to change any of our unhealthy behaviors, learn and build new habits is easier said than done.  However, WHEN reality kicks in, SETTING BOUNDARIES is easier said than done📗📙📘

Truth is, SETTING BOUNDARIES is inevitable.  Between home and work, business and personal, friendship and business, financials and non-financials, academics and co-curricular, socials and civic engagements, counselling and discipline, these are the most common areas in our daily life where SETTING BOUNDARIES is a must do.  WHAT IF we ignore SETTING BOUNDARIES?  YES YOU MAY but brace yourself for the ramifications!@#$%?

WHAT we often miss out here is that understanding HOW to SET BOUNDARIES [a.k.a. setting personal limits] is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships.  Very recently, a colleague was about to leave our organization and in her last days of employ, she sent me an SMS borrowing a 'sum of money' for reasons I will not divulge here.  BUT I realized one thing, there was NO BOUNDARY that moment💥💥💥

It's true almost everyone know what 'BOUNDARIES' mean BUT quite a number DON'T have an idea WHAT they are, seriously.  True, literally speaking, BOUNDARIES are like property lines BUT in life, BOUNDARIES are NOT rigid lines drawn in the sand that are clear for all to see.  BOUNDARIES are a way to take care of ourselves.  WHEN we understand HOW to set and maintain healthy BOUNDARIES, we can likely avoid the feelings of resentment, disappointment and anger that may build up WHEN limits are pushed❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Before I get misunderstood whether I'm more for loose OR open BOUNDARIES, let's be 'spot on' for these tell-tale signs we're off-track:

• IF we get too involved with others' problems?
• IF we can't say NO to others' requests?
• IF we 'overshare' personal info [like in social media]?
• IF we seek to please others for fear of rejection?

In a nutshell, BOUNDARIES are healthy for helping you to identify and keep that space you deserve❗❗❗

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries

These days, we all hear that we live in a borderless world, a global village and with virtuality lording it all over our daily lives.  What gets overlooked is if there is a need for us to be Setting Boundaries?  Our problem is, when we hear 'BOUNDARIES', we start to imagine walls that separate us from other people.  In a sense, that is true BUT 'BOUNDARIES' aren't necessarily a bad thing💎💎💎

'BOUNDARIES' are, in fact, they are an important ingredient in healthy, balanced relationships.  They are a crucial part of maintaining your identity, mental health and physical well-being as well.  ''BOUNDARIES'' can do include restrictions on physical actions, such as asking a partner NOT to look through your mobile phone or NOT to interrupt when you're working from home.  They can also be psychological such as asking your spouse/partner to accept that your goals and dreams may NOT always be the same as theirs📌📌📌

So why do we need healthy 'BOUNDARIES'?  First, experts advise that we should reduce'codependent' habits.  Heard of BFF's who were the closest ever such that every moment they are awake, they got to go to the same mall, go to the hair stylist at the same time, shop for wardrobe at the same time, etc.  And there's NOTHING wrong with that except that will lead to extreme 'codependent' habits⏳⏳⏳

Moreover, by setting 'BOUNDARIES', we set expectations when interacting with others.  And look and face the mirror.  DON'T you deserve a SENSE OF EMPOWERMENT and SELF-RESPECT?  Further, look at your need to ensure your physical and emotional comfort and at the same time, clarifying individual responsibilities in a relationship.  Bottom line, SEPARATE your wants, needs, thoughts from those of others✅✅✅

Without healthy 'BOUNDARIES', it's probable that your relationships may become toxic and unsatisfying and in the end, your well-being may suffer.  You might even feel taken advantage of, if a friend keeps asking for $$$$ or feel overwhelmed by STRESS if you feel the need to solve all of your partner's emotional problems.  Or if a parent  continually invades your PRIVACY, you may feel resentful.  Think about the need for SETTING BOUNDARIES❗❗❗