When There's So Much Smoke, There Has To Be Fire [Obviously!]

 

WHEN THERE'S SO MUCH SMOKE, THERE HAS TO BE FIRE [Obviously!].  BUT that's really NOT our concern.  It's our tendency to ignore when the billowing smoke is NOT that heavy yet.  We would at times shrug off our shoulders and just exclaim, that's someone smoking his cigar over there.  The thing is, we humans tend to be complacent to the extent that our being so relaxed and at ease with things would sometimes lead us to miss out on those tell-tale signs of a brewing problem.  I'm one of those guilty over and over again in the past.  If the billowing smoke is something that does NOT scare me yet, I would exclaim, that's just another neighbor burning the dried leaves he just swept.  And that assumption seems cast in stone over and over again💚💛💜

Everyone of us is NOT immune to receive OR be aware of multiple warnings in life.  Could be relationship RED FLAGS.  OR ignoring some manifestations of a potential illness.  OR even ignoring our intuition a.k.a. gut check.  OR a failing business whose operating costs keep going up while revenues are nosediving very much unabated.  OR it could be business partners, one by one, parting ways with you???

So, one might ask, CAN WE JUST IGNORE those billowing smoke?  BUT of course you can but that decision [OR I'd rather call it indecision] can be consequential because inaction has its costs.  LIKE in those recurring cycles.  IF it keeps repeating, it will remain so unless the root cause of the main concern gets resolved.  And do we think that recurrence is a non-issue?  Frankly, a recurring issue can be one's death knell.  LIKE those missed opportunities WHEN we allow it simply pass through our fingers.  LIKE those missed opportunities.  How can you go, grab and get it💥💥💥

Question you might ask me know is as to WHY people often ignore those warning signs.  Is it because one is overly optimistic to the extent that he ends up attempting to avoid those short-term pains, WHICH ultimately result in higher long term costs.  Admittedly, there are cases WHERE it becomes attributable to one's past experiences, e.g. WHERE recognizing bad behavior does NOT factor-in as a non-survival option at all☝☝☝

Our takeaway:  This should be a non-debate, that is, ignoring those indicators of a potential RED FLAG has been tagged by experts as a 'vicious cycle' that can lead us to being stuck in situations that are NO longer serving us.  The key here is accepting reality rather than chasing an idealized version of it, and recognizing that boundaries are necessary.  YES dude, WHERE THERE'S SO MUCH SMOKE, THERE HAS TO BE FIRE [very obviously dude]😡😡😡

Sourcing Our INNER STRENGTH

 

Sourcing our INNER STRENGTH?  Tough question indeed.  Of all things in life, stuff that are intangible could be the toughest nuts to crack, sourcing to be specific.  BUT the bigger question behind that is this:  Do we really need to build that?  Can that be kind of organic and 'home-grown' WHERE it just grows over time?  BUT INNER STRENGTH quite encompasses the whole nine yards in fact.  Count in those positive feelings such as calm, contentment, and caring amongst others.  And unlike fleeting mental states, INNER STRENGTHs are stable traits that can be an enduring source of our well-being, our very core in fact💚💛💜

True, we've heard a lot about INNER STRENGTH and yes, it covers all those intangibles, positive mood, common sense, integrity, inner peace, determination and even that 'warm heart' amongst others.  Experts have identified other INNER STRENGTHS and that includes self-compassion, emotional intelligence, and learned optimism☝☝☝

Let's NOT go farther than our day-to-day realities.  Let's say our morning alarm goes off and you'd rather snooze so that you'll find to get up BUT with the loud decibels of noise around your home, instead of yelling, you would get in touch with that INNER PLACE within you that remains firm and NOT angry.  OR you're embarrassed about a mistake at work so you would call up a sense of worth from past accomplishments.  You get stressed racing around so you find some welcome calm with those long exhalations💥💥💥

Listening to the medical and psychology gurus, they exclaim that HOW you feel and act, both over the course of your life and in specific relationships and situations, is determined by these three factors, namely:

• Challenges you face
• Vulnerabilities these challenges create
• Strengths you need to meet challenges

True, we all have vulnerabilities.  WHO does NOT have?  Personally, I wish it were NOT so easy to become worried and self-critical💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  The great martial arts expert Bruce Lee said it all:  DO NOT PRAY FOR AN EASY LIFE, PRAY FOR THE STRENGTH TO ENDURE A DIFFICULT ONE.  YES YES yowww, INNER STRENGTHS are fundamental to a happy, productive, and even loving life.   From a health perspective, experts claim that they also strengthen your immune system, protect your heart and in the long-term, foster a healthier and longer life.  All these should lay to rest any remaining doubts for us to be sourcing our INNER STRENGTH, dude!!!

Play The Hand You're Dealt

 

PLAY THE HAND YOU'RE DEALT.  YES, WHILE life is complex indeed, it can be summarized in those fewest words.  Remembering some of the petty moments, I've heard [probably a zillion times] people looking OR asking for something that definitely they CAN'T find at that place at that time.  At the luxury shop, someone asked for a 'budget-priced' item?  At the budget-store for ladies bags, someone asks for Balenciagas and LV's?  At a fastfood store, someone asked for Michelin-standard dishes?  Upon boarding the coach class, someone complained about the limited legroom, ouch💚💛💜

As India's great former prime minister, Jawaharlal Nehru was once quoted:  "LIFE IS LIKE A GAME OF CARDS.  THE HAND YOU'RE DEALT IS DETERMINISM, THE WAY YOU PLAY IT IS FREE WILL".  Well said indeed.  Nehru's words are the simplest channel for this messaging.  WHATEVER HAND WE ARE DEALT IS THE HAND WE MUST PLAY.  BUT although I've never been to Las Vegas strips, WHAT I overheard from players out there is that IN MOST CARD GAMES, EVERY PLAYER HAS A CHANCE TO PLUCK new cards.  Then, that can lead one to an entirely 'new ballgame'💧💧💧

YES, through the years, we have witnessed those recurring 'square pegs in round holes'.  At the workplace, I did bear witness to varying versions of outliers [NOTE that I'm tagging them as OUTLIERS].  LIKE someone who would blurt out that he's NOT FUN OF NUMBERS but he has to work on Excel worksheets.  Name an office worker WHO is exempted from using Excel worksheets.  LIKE someone venting out as to WHY the boss [or the typically demanding customer] would ask for something very much AT THE LAST MINUTE.  BUT dude, customer is always right, right?  And so is the boss [unless there is a blatant breach of labor regulations or workplace rules].  So, WHY can't we PLAY THE HAND WE'RE DEALT?  Exactly my point here dude💥💥💥

One time before, I was working for a client WHO was in a tough situation.  They had just made a huge move then in the market and a month after, they thought that it was a mistake.  Things WEREN'T going as well as they had hoped for and potential RED FLAGS were starting to surface, albeit in a long-drawn manner.  And WHEN they did a post-mortem, it was concluded that they did arrive at an informed decision, factoring-in multiple dimensions, indeed things DIDN'T turn out the way they expected.  At the make-or-break meeting with the top honchos, no less than the executives gave the standing orders to PLAY THE HAND THEY WERE DEALT☝☝☝

Our takeaway:  We can take on all forms of challenges, including someone WHO might ask, WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE CARDS DEALT?  But that's baloney.  Everyone of us is DEALT those cards to play at any point in time as no one can be deprived of it.  Even at one's lowest point, WHEN one is at one's worst situation, there will always be CARDS DEALT and it is how you PLAY THE HAND YOU'RE DEALT.  Worst case scenario if you lose bty default as you refuse to PLAY THE HAND YOU'RE DEALT😡😡😡

When The Pot Is Closer To Boiling

 

WHEN THE POT IS CLOSER TO BOILING, WHAT happens next?  This is a no-brainer because sooner and maybe soonest, that will reach boiling point and likely, will overflow and may even create a problem of a much bigger magnitude.  On the other hand, there's that lingering old school of thought to let things BOIL and BOIL because it will eventually simmer down [we can consult our Physics teacher on that and likely he will concur].  BUT do we just sit WHEN THE POT IS CLOSER TO BOILING💚💛💜

Regardless of the magnitude of that pot that is CLOSER TO BOILING, everyone says we need to equip ourselves with RESILIENCE no less.  It's a very understated word BUT it will be difficult to ignore that in the midst of those BOILING POINTS in life, stress and adversity are need to be faced head-on💢💢💢

YES, we're all witnessing one crisis after another across the world.  That global pandemic, regional and even economic wars, they have become the catalysts of turmoils that have pushed the water to reach boiling point.  On a personal level, anyone could get hit the typical kinds of crisis WHICH by itself, from health to financials and even those ugly divorces.  At that point, to admit that the protagonists would be struggling will be a gross understatement☝☝☝

Question:  Is it an option to 'chicken-out'?  My loud answer is a loud 'YES' but I can guarantee things inside-out that that crisis will never dissipate OR evaporate in thin air just because you chickened-out.  Likely, it will chase and haunt you no less like a leech clinging even on teflon.  Where RESILIENCE comes in is best apparent in the high tolerance level of a person even in the midst of distress😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  We all go through bad times, we all experience different levels of disappointments, losses and impactful changes in life.  BUT building RESILIENCE can significantly help us to maintain that positive outlook and face head-on even the worst uncertain future with less stress, fear and anxiety.  These could be mother statements BUT if you're the protagonist in a raging crisis, HOW easy will it be for you to extricate yourself from that POT CLOSER TO BOILING?  NOT that easy BUT with RESILIENCE, it will be less difficult.  Trust RESILIENCE no less dude!!! 

INSANITY Redefined

 

INSANITY Redefined.  To quote no less than Albert Einstein, INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS, whew!@#$%?   One of the few words in English that has carried on that endless stigma is INSANITY.  99.99% of us [and I was once one of them] would instantlly map INSANITY with psychiatric interpretations.  NOT until I came across this one-liner from Albert Einstein and it speaks volumes.  Of late, I realized that a good plurality of us would, at times, succumb to this twisted mindset.  And admittedly, I realized we can be vulnerable enough because after all, habits die hard and those NOT so bad habits die harder💚💛💜

LIKE when want to improve our academic standings in school BUT that hardly changes.  WHY?  Because we haven't changed!  LIKE when we want to improve our relationships with our partner/spouse after all those rough patches BUT it seems to even worsen more than ever.  WHY?  Because we haven't changed!  LIKE when we wanted to improve our financial situation BUT that hardly changes.  WHY?  Because we haven't changed!  LIKE when we're angling for a job promotion BUT it seems we're stalled?  WHY?  Because we haven't changed😡😡😡

Heard someone makes this noise:  NOTHING IS WORKING.  YES, I heard it NOT just many times from others.  I used to utter those words several times before.  And to make things matter worse [during those really bad times], I would shrug off my shoulder with my body language sending the message that NOTHING WORKS, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO.  Seriously?  I used to get stuck in that world of "DEADEND-ness"!@#$%?  So, WHAT's causing us to get blinded during those 'DEADENDs"?  Here's a no-brainer.  Often, we would forget that there is a mirror right there for us to face? An frankly, there are times WHEN we're aware of that mirror and YET, in a quite common sighting, we're stubborn to face the mirror💥💥💥

Sadly, sometimes we act like the victim, begrudgingly living with the "THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN DO" mindset.  Seriously!  To make matters worse, sometimes even with no ill intentions, we would be concocting stories to justify that level of INSANITY we are unable to extricate ourselves from.  And here's the thing.  That INSANITY continues, happening the same way over and over again, and YET, there we are, expecting [feeling "ENTITLED"?] that things will get better even up to several notches.  C'mon dude, let's wake up from that state of stupor!@#$%?  As I learned for the very first time WHEN I stepped into the technology space NOT so long ago, INPUT--->  PROCESS---> OUTPUT.  That's it NO LESS.  WHAT YOU PUT IN IS WHAT YOU OUTPUT😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  WHILE it's true that there are extremely challenges in life, let us end up with those motherhood statements that LIFE IS HARD, that I'VE GIVEN MY BEST, that THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH YOU CAN DO.  Those are words that will lead you towards the deepest labyrinth of doom and failures in life.  So, WHAT's our FIX?  

Simple, dude simple.  WHAT'S NOT WORKING, FIX IT.  You can coax it in the mildest words to avoid hurting our feelings BUT at that point, call a SPADE a SPADE.  And if FIX has to be done, damn it, FIX IT before INSANITY gets defined!!!

Upsides of 'DOUBLESPEAK'

 

Per se, I would personally NOT encourage OR incite DOUBLESPEAK. For obvious reasons, even on the periphery, it tends to veer towards bad faith and to some extent, dishonesty.  And I WON'T distance myself from those reasons because I totally stand pat on it.  Having said that, let's face it, life is NOT 'cut and dry' everyday and every tick of the clock.  Throughout our journey, there are is quite a long list of those UPSIDEs of DOUBLESPEAK.  Way back our school time, WHEN we were angling for a better ranking in class, you could speak less so as to downplay your preparedness for a school competition you're contesting in.  Finally WHEN you plunge into the job market, you start to learn and harness the ropes of DOUBLESPEAK by glossing and even 'window dressing' your CV/Resume to kind of boost OR enhance the content and 'heaviness' of your work/skills credentials☝☝☝

I vividly recall the multiple times I reached a crucial stage in the recruitment process WHEREIN I felt I was in a GO OR NO GO stage.  And often, during that crucial stage, the interviewer can dangle a ballpark of the salary offer to be tendered.  Same question I asked myself multiple times.  If the ballpark does NOT seem good enough, should I decline it outright OR should I DOUBLESPEAK???  I thought that was critical question I had to ask myself and come up with the best answer!!!

BUT before I get misconstrued, allow me to crystallize concretely my stand.  If the situation calls for an honest and good faith stance, any form of DOUBLESPEAK does NOT have a place in the equation.  If you're an entrepreneur managing your business, OR you're a worker expected to 'deliver the output' within specs, within budget and within timelines, DOUBLESPEAK has NO place therein.  WHY?  Because it behooves that we be honest and transparent every step of the way no less.  If one's approach gets tinged with DOUBLESPEAK, that is kind of veering into the kind of 'shady' areas WHERE one may be doubted [OR worse, suspected] of bad faith OR worse, dishonesty.  So, you might ask, WHEN is it fine to DOUBLESPEAK💧💧💧

Funny I stumbled across this scribbled equation.  Looks and sounds like a joke BUT it's NOT.  In fact, this is more factual more than anything else as it implies that WHEN we sum up a half-truth with another half-truth, you will likely end up with one BIG LIE, no less.  BUT at times, DOUBLESPEAK is unavoidable under certain circumstances💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  There will always be times WHEN DOUBLESPEAK may be warranted.

LIKE WHEN you are in an argument

LIKE WHEN you are facing a nemesis

LIKE WHEN you are into negotiations

LIKE WHEN you are with suspicious people

LIKE WHEN you are under fear OR duress

YES dude, there are UPSIDES OF DOUBLESPEAK as long as you are within bounds, within reason, within conscience and within the bounds of the law.  Other than that, we WON'T incite DOUBLESPEAK😡😡😡

Split-second Decisions!

 

HOW often do we get into those SPLIT-SECOND decisions? NOT so often, right?  Oooops except I vivldly remember WHEN I was on a long-drive for that 12-hour travel [WHICH has become my annual ritual, so to speak].  YES, admittedly, during those long-haul drives, I would likely have around ten SPLIT-SECOND decisions to make, LIKE finding a trick to wiggle out from a bumper-to-bumper conundrum, LIKE getting ahead of a snail-paced 20-wheeler truck.  BUT other than that, YES, we do get into SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS

BTW, SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS should NOT be dissected literally.  Point is, there are DECISIONS in life WHICH would randomly pop-up, totally unexpected, and yet  it does become urgent to reach a GO OR NO GO DECISION based on those random urgencies.  Question:  WHEN do those SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS really become actionable 

Generally, the urgency becomes that apparent from a survival OR safety consideration.  BUT times have changed, dude.  These days, life-changing considerations become urgent as it becomes a life-changing DECISION OR even a NON-DECISION.  LIKE opportunities, WHO would want one to slip through your fingers if that arises?  Obviously, NOT all opportunities are served on a platter and even if they are served, there is often a QUID PRO QUO

That Covid-19 Pandemic was our shared SPLIT-SECOND DECISION kind of thing.  99.9999% of us all were in a quandary with our health [and life at that] were at the precipice of the unknown.  WHEN vaccination researches were fast-tracked by Pfizer and the global pharmas, we were torn between embracing it OR shunning it away like a plaque.  Till today, some of us made regrettable SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS, like it OR not

Our takeaway:  There is no RUNBOOK to guide us in grappling with SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS but instead, everything boils down to these very basic grounds:

• Assess/Validate UPsides versus DOWNsides
• Formulate INFORMED DECISIONS, period
• NEVER succumb to pressure in decision-making

That AI Inflection

 

That AI INFLECTION POINT.  As recent as just last year, we [and I was one of the majority] were leveraging on AI in a similar fashion we've got used to with 'Mr Google'.  BUT HOW time fleets fast enough, today, AI has somehow seamlessly transitioned from that experimental phase towards today's autonomous systems WHERE you can even dump on AI's lap practically everything, save for your actual food consumption OR your medical lab works.  Other than that, NOT to douse cold water on AI leapfrogging towards the frontline📗📙📘

YES YES yowwww, we can entrust to AI almost anything and everything now.  Not too long ago, one of our most treasured stuff at home are the stacks of albums.  And I vividly remember, each time I'll have my pictures developed at the shop, I made sure I had a spare album tailored-fit for those 4R-sized ones.  Alas, today, AI can rewrite and enhance all our digital photos whatever way we want it📌📌📌

As recent as last year, I'll admit that when I reached out to AI, it was spinning around WHAT and WHAT, no more than that.  These days, those WHATs and WHATs are just the 'takeoff points'.  After getting all responses for the WHATs, we can append the HOWs and even go as far as asking WHERE are your strengths and WHAT are your achilles heel.  And by a stretch, if you're into those love-life woes, you can even reach out to AI as our Dr Love.  Asking Dr Love WHERE did you go wrong, and WHAT can you leverage on. And WHEN your emotions are somewhat skidding, that's WHEN we need to quickly arrest that skidding, right💥💥💥

WHAT insights can we pick from AI as its evolution seems unstoppable?  I'll always stand my ground on the arguments WHERE emotions and intangibles will get into the equation, that calls for human intervention and conversely, for AI to be take out of the equation.  NOT that we distrust AI but let's face it, NOT all the stuff in life can be resolved via and end-to-end through AI, NO sirrrrrs☝☝☝

Our takeaway:  AI OR NOT, let's NOT gloss over everything that's AI.  NOT to be a pessimist OR a cynic BUT here's the darn obvious truth.  Much as we embrace all the leaps and bounds of AI, some variables in our human equations will remain as our exclusive domains.  Talk about emotions and any that's intangible, let's grapple with it as humanly as possible and drill-down with stretched patience, NOT cutting corners even if the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  Indeed, That AI Inflection😡😡😡

Good Criticism Is Akin To 'DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH'

GOOD CRITICISM Is Akin To 'DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH'.  No sirrrrs, I'm not veering into Gemology, NOT my domain, ouch.  Instead, I'd like to take a pause and take stock of criticisms because quite often, criticisms trigger rough patches that surface, all because of CRITICISM.  BUT before one positions himself aggressively to argue all about CRITICISM, per se, CRITICISM should be welcomed by anyone anytime, BUT on one condition.  THAT CRITICISM has to be good and genuine.  BUT again, being good and genuine is very relative.  WHAT is good and genuine to one fellow is bad and fake to another one.  That's the great divide.  So, how to do we clear out those murky waters WHICH just gets murkier📗📙📘

Unfortunately, CRITICISM is often seen as harsh.  More than being harsh, CRITICISM is generally 'unwelcomed'.  WHY?  It is because generally, our human nature tells us that CRITICISM is like premeditated and triggered out of bad faith.  Hmmmm, that's debatable because there is no solid ground to support that assumption.  So, WHO's at fault?  It all boils down to our human nature.  Once CRITICISM falls upon us, we start to get into that defensive mode and worse, we would tend to quickly conclude that that CRITICISM has been made out of bad faith👇👇👇

Funny as this might sound BUT I heard someone blurt out that we might just as well be PAYING people WHEN they CRITICIZE?  Seriously?  YES dude, WHAT was meant was NOT monetarily BUT PAYING attention, PAYING time, PAYING appreciation, PAYING reflection BUT again on one condition:  As long as that CRITICISM is genuine and good, made and expressed in good faith.  Along those lines, WHILE genuine CRITICISM is hardly coaxed in the nicest words, they deserve the positive reflection from us💚💛💜

Admittedly, CRITICISMs are NOT comparable to those 'slaps on the wrist'.  They are hardly 'window-dressed'.  Instead, they are coaxed in 'off the gloves' words, sharp, with NO praises, and worse, it can cut down on people's ego, often trimming a person's pride.  And guess WHAT's the common result?  Maybe 95% of the time, we will take offense.  WHO would NOT anyway, right😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  NOT to take sides BUT allow me to temper interpretations for our insights today.  We're NOT encouraging the mobs to CRITICIZE, NOT at all.  Instead, let us be circumspect.  WHEN and WHERE CRITICISM deserves to be shared [in good faith], go for it as long as it is done in GOOD FAITH.  The worst thing to happen is WHEN CRITICISM will create gaps and divides and WHERE it exists, those gaps and divides will widen and worsen.  Since it is NOT that easy to discern if someone is CRITICIZING in good faith or not, let us NOT 'shoot from the hip'.  Instead, take stock of things and validate.  Give that CRITICISM the chance to be validated!!!

Getting Ready To Live But NEVER LIVING?

 

Getting Ready To Live But NEVER LIVING?  Is this just a play of words?  Noooooo sirrrrrs, this is something serious we need to spend time on.  Let's face it.  How often are we in the midst of preparations, either for a pursuit, an activity, a project, an advocacy, a deliverable, a promise, a commitment, on and on?  Off hand, I would say that at least 90% of the time, we're GETTING READY TO LIVE!  BUT alas, the bigger question is, are we ever LIVING, if at all💚💛💜

We can't blame our human nature.  We're more often in that PREPARATION mode.  Obviously, that's the way to go, right?  WHO should NOT be preparing?  BUT if there's one key realization I have uncorked is that, more often, we are so immersed GETTING READY TO LIVE BUT in the end, are we ever LIVING, if at all?  After we reach the FINISH LINE, after achieving our end goal, HOW often are we relishing, reaping and enjoying the fruits of all our hard work?  Surely we would be defensive to retort, like, BUT OF COURSE, I am LIVING and enjoying it.  BUT there's a BIG BUT there!!!

In the bluntest words I have ever heard, one resource speaker had this opening spiel:  STOP EXISTING and START LIVING.  And I deeply exhaled to realize its truism.  HOW many of us are indeed EXISTING BUT NOT LIVING?  I would speculate that a big slice of us all do get trapped in that quagmire.  BUT again, WHO can be blamed but the vicious cycle wherein today, we're into this pursuit and obviously, you're so focused to that latest pursuit.  One that gets done next day or next month, there you go, pursuing another pursuit.  Hey dude, did you relish that previous pursuit you succeeded☝☝☝

BTW, I DON'T come with a clean slate here because many times I was guilty of being into that vicious cycle over and over again.  WHILE I was never into Sales, think of a Sales Executive WHO, today, is so focused to achieve his quota for the month.  And finally, on the last day of the month, he closes a deal and achieves the quota.  Come next day is a next business month and new quota kicks in.  Sadly, I'm tempted to paint that analogy of life with that typical Sales career, achieving the quota for today or this month and after achieving it, moves on to achieve the next cyclical quota, whew.  Seriously💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  What's our FIX for this?  No quick FIX dude but it can be fixed.  And all it takes is for one to list down [with seriousness] his REASONS FOR LIVING.  Once those REASONS FOR LIVING gets embedded, commit to consistently embrace all those REASONS FOR LIVING so that you DON'T end up in that cyclical vicious cycle of GETTING READY TO LIVE BUT NEVER LIVING😡😡😡