Change DOESN'T Happen On Its Own!@#$%

 

Change DOESN'T Happen On Its Own!@#$%.  Exactly, we can preach for CHANGE CHANGE and CHANGE but even as we speak now, there are GAPS and GAPS around us.  GAPS in understanding HOW CHANGE needs to be executed.  GAPS in accepting the responsibility and ownership to drive CHANGE.  Not far different once we board vehicles.  We need the driver  seated right behind the steering wheel.  Otherwise, the car AIN'T move forward.  Swinging back to our life, CHANGE seems to be part of us, ticking in parallel with the clocktime itself.  And that has been happening so casually such that, for some of us, CHANGE is NOT something that deserves to be injected with that Xtra attention and Xtra focus + Xtra zeal.  BUT CHANGE DOESN'T HAPPEN ON ITS OWN dude!@#$%?

Those years WHEN my work responsibilities were very much embedded alongside CHANGE.  And more than just all the fanfare and communications strategies we plotted up front, having our 'top honcho' as the executive sponsor was the very first 'MUST HAVE' even before kicking the tires.  BUT here comes the scary part.  Most CHANGE initiatives are often doomed from the start.  WHY???

One recurring narrative I've heard a zillion times is that, WHETHER in our personal life OR at the corporate world, at times we end up with entirely flawed assumptions that CHANGE will happen on its own, all because we kickstarted it.  NO sirrrrrs.  Let's NOT make things complicated here.  DON'T look far.  Every year as we approach the next upcoming New Year, WHO has not scribbled OR mumbled his NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION WHEN the calendar flips?  Almost twelve months down the road, it's deja vu.  Count ten years after OR decades after, it's the same cyclical pattern we have been locked-in and YET, WHAT's the difference comparing every NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION year-in year-out???

Can we blame that CHANGE mindset?  Me thinks that's the safest culprit [a.k.a scapegoat] any Tom, Dick and Harry can pass the blame. Let's rattle off the most common narratives.  The previous year, you had cash flow problems almost year-round, so on New Year's Eve, here you are, seriously blurting to cut your impulse-shopping [and that includes those frivolous wants via the ADD TO CART buttons].  WHO's to blame?  YES I'll blame those mobile apps WHOSE sole mission is to entice you, right???

Our takeaway:  Let's give justice to CHANGE and to be brutally frank here, if one keeps failing in his CHANGE initiatives, let's give justice to you yourself because you just DON'T deserve to be fumbling and stumbling down flat on your face as long as we embrace this mantra:  CHANGE DOESN'T HAPPEN ON IT'S OWN, NOT that path dude😡😡😡

ALWAYS Find A Way To Reach The 'FINISH LINE'

 

I am NO marathoner BUT I'm quite aware of America's annual marathon events like the Boston and New York Marathons.  BUT we'll NOT delve into those marathons but instead, allow me to pay tribute to American Rachel Apa. Two days ago, while being a first-time NYC marathoner, she trained damn hard and YES, she started off well the marathon until she ran out of steam 2 miles from the FINISH LINE.  Sadly, she was hit with an unexpected twist in her health and sadly, she succumbed despite all the efforts exerted💚💛💜

Indeed, it's a sad narrative given Rachel's demise BUT let's pick up the positive lessons we can learn from Rachel's heroics.  Thing is, we should ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO REACH THE 'FINISH LINE'.  True, life has never guaranteed us 100% successes.  In truth, for the tough stories, at times, our scorecards in successes may even hit 50% at best BUT that's part of life's realities.  Even with that batting average, it does NOT justify that we abandon our pursuits, with wanton disregard to reach the FINISH LINE.  This should NOT be a huge ask, NOT for anyone to plead us at all.  Rightfully, WHAT we started should be finished regardless even if the cards are stacked against you [as such is life]💥💥💥

As we endeavor to carve out our own path in life, we always hear motivational words like 'DREAM BIG'.  Granted, having challenging and ambitious goals are a key part in planning out our future.  BUT are BIG GOALS really the right way to accomplish WHAT you've set out to do?  WHAT IF, just WHAT IF the real secret to crushing all of our goals is to make them more realistic via smaller ones?  Psychology experts shared their research efforts WHERE they stumbled across a big surprise that those small goals, once we do cut our goals in half, are 63% more successful than those huge, big crazy goals, whew😡😡😡

YES, it's nuts.  WHEN we're looking for a principle in fact, we're looking for at least that five percent change.  You may be looking for a ten percent change but the reality is WHEN you say like "AIM FOR THE MOON" [because even if you fail, you'll [still] land amongst the stars].  BUT  that's NOT how life really works dude.  Problem is sometimes, people quit WHEN they fail.  The problem is we tend to judge on a very simplified scorecard like that PASS or FAIL scale, so IF we want to lose ten pounds and we lost eight, we kind of failed by two and then, do we give up???

Our takeaway:  That idea of having that huge, monstrous goal may be laudable BUT c'mon dude, it may just cripple you right from the starting line.  So, let's take a leaf from the late Rachel Apa.  WHILE she was a first-time joiner at the NYC Marathon, she prepared for it, NOT leaving a single stone unturned.  And WHILE sadly she failed, it was like two miles before the FINISH LINE and NOT after she gave it all.  YES dude, ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO REACH THE 'FINISH LINE' regardless of the cards and odds you're facing.  After all, it was you WHO set that goal dude!!!

YES, Sometimes Life Isn't Fair!@#$%?

 

Trueness.  YES, Sometimes Life Isn't Fair!@#$%? You worked your butt out.  You sacrificed everything.  You risked way beyond WHAT you used to take.  You put your very own self right on the chopping board.  YES, FAIRNESS is culturally universal.  Supposedly, you DON'T have to haggle for FAIRNESS.  History tells us that even hunters from the past centuries would the spoils as evenly as possible WHERE judgments, transactions and decision that are free from discrimination.  BUT alas, a good number of us still [wrongly] think that FAIRNESS prevails only with children and NOT adults.  That explains WHY SOMETIMES, LIFE ISN'T FAIR!@#$%?

BUT can we agree that FAIRNESS is a choice and as such, it is something over WHICH we have that personal control.  It likely comes as no surprise that often, we can choose to treat others in a fair manner, NOT exploiting someone, NOT taking a disproportionate amount of resources from someone, as long as we are very much in control to have that choice of FAIRNESS.  WHAT might be more surprising [and I personally believe that many of us do struggle with this from time to time, that is HOW we act in regard to a broader concept of FAIRNESS in life, because FAIRNESS in life is NOT the same as FAIRNESS in interpersonal transactions because the fact is, it is NOT💥💥💥

Can we agree that more often, WHAT prevails these days is that world of ironies that only substantiate that SOMETIMES, LIFE ISN'T FAIR.  Factual news around will bear with us.  At times, our society's most moral citizens fall ill with cancer WHILE the most hardened criminals remain healthy.  The most talented writers earn much significantly less than the less talented ones.  Some are born into poverty WHILE others are born into affluence.  The idea that LIFE ISN'T FAIR ISN'T just some 'hard knocks' philosophy that popped out of thin air and espoused by tough-as-nails elders and mentors WHO are more noted for being survivors even after the strongest storms and hurricanes would have hit them😡😡😡

Quite interestingly, we often feel that life ISN'T fair WHEN we compare ourselves to others in the absence of an interpersonal transaction.  Hey dude, even healthy criminals and sick saints DON'T really have a direct relationship, right?  NOR do people WHO happen to wind up being born to rich OR poor parents.   NOR do two people WHO are working hard at books of different genres [OR even of the same genre].  YES, in these instances, the personal slight you feel ISN'T actually about fairness OR unfairness.  YES, it's about entitlement!!!

Our takeaway:  I realized as well that at times, it is a bitter pill to swallow for us WHO want to be the heroes of our very own stories.  With an eye on our own effort and our own virtue, it can be easy to confuse entitlement for FAIRNESS [or even the lack thereof, right?].  To be clear, FAIRNESS is something over WHICH we can have direct control because it involves an interaction in WHICH you are part of it.  BUT NOT for entitlment.  WHICH explains WHY SOMETIMES, LIFE ISN'T FAIR!@#$%?

Do You Have Much Ground To Make Up?

 

Do You Have MUCH GROUND TO MAKE UP?  Less discussed around these days is the need for GROUNDING.  And to listen to the experts, they have developed multiple techniques to help us move through distress by focusing on tangible objects, LIKE even holding an ice cube OR tasting something spicy.  On the other hand, they encourage mental GROUNDING techniques to distract us from those distressing feelings by redirecting our thoughts back to the present through memory games OR reciting something!!!

Before we get lost in the maze with regard GROUNDING, let's have a quick alignment here.  GROUNDING is that set of techniques designed to reconnect oneself to the present moment, helping us to find that rarefied balance, calm and stability all rolled into one [especially WHEN things become that stressful].  Taking a leaf from the experts' techniques, we DON'T need to reinvent the wheel here.  The mental techniques would involve using one's mind to distract and eventually calm oneself.  By focusing on mental exercises even like counting backwards [from 100 in multiples of 7], in a subtle way, we tend to shift our attention away from anxiety and toward a task that requires concentration💥💥💥

At times, there seems to be a mix-up when it comes to GROUNDING.  As literally defined, GROUNDING happens WHEN we stand on the earth OR we establish contact with a product that's grounded into the earth.  And that is thought to connect our body to the natural electric charge of the earth and transfer electrons into our body.  Experts tell us that the electrons we absorb through GROUNDING works as 'natural antioxidants' to neutralize harmful free radical molecules in our body.  And they believe that exposure that our exposure to those electrons is vital for functioning at best.  YES, it is said to help improve sleep and reduce inflammation😡😡😡

Let's dive into the benefits of GROUNDING as unearthed by researchers.  WHILE there is NO definitive evidence to show it can actually prevent any ailment, experts have 'some' evidence that changes do occur in the body soon after one connects to the ground.  Lo and behold, experts believe that GROUNDING may help to counteract even cardiovascular and auto-immune diseases.  Oh yes, we heard it all, inflammation is linked to many diseases as well as pain.  There was even a study that found concentrations of known indicators of inflammation more in people WHO are GROUNDED than those WHO didn't❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  WHETHER we take GROUNDING literally OR figuratively, the common denominator here is that we've got to stay GROUNDED in life.  Simply put, we should NOT lose touch of life, of its realities [including especially the harsh realities].  We've witnessed those 'Cinderella Stories', those 'from rags to riches' stories BUT at the end of a circuituous narrative, everything that was so good to hear and witness can dissipate in thin air faster than one can expect.  Lesson learnt:  Let us NOT get drunk with success, with monies, with all the stuff that are shiny and dandy because all of those 'good tidings' DON'T last forever.  Things will ebb.  Good things will subside.  And NOT to sound like an alarmist, at times, before we know it, GOOD things turn upside down, ouch.  YES dude, do you have much GROUND to make up???

Are You TRAVELING [through a] SLIPPERY SLOPE?

 

Are you TRAVELING [through a] SLIPPERY SLOPE?  YES, many times we do travel through it.  BTW, are SLIPPERY SLOPES uphill?  Nooooo sirs, SLOPES are always downhill no less!@#$%? Our habits are the best examples.  Take an unethical behavior which can worsen and increase over time.  We all know, it starts with like taking a little bit, maybe a few hundred, then a few thousand.  Then, we get comfortable with that and before we knew it, it snowballs into something big.  Sounds familiar?  Another SLIPPERY SLOPE, right dude💥💥💥

YES it's scary HOW even small ethical indiscretions can potentially lead to huge and bigger ethical missteps.  And WHAT perplexes researches is the phenomenon as to WHAT motivates people to veer into a path NOT rightfully the correct one, leading them to do increasingly bad things.  YES, those small unethical actions might seem innocuous and people can easily rationalize their behavior to justify it, LIKE 'no one got hurt' OR LIKE 'hey, everybody does it'!@#$%?

WITHOUT turning this thread into something political, here's a million dollar question.  WHY IS CORRUPTION indemic across?  YES dude, blame it on that SLIPPERY SLOPE WHERE things started on petty, 'drop in the bucket' stuff until it turns big time until its tentacles will spread across, deeply enthrenched.  Sounds familiar?  Exactly dude.  Because of that 'rationalization process' WHICH some of us would [wrongly] call as moral disengagement, people tend to be more likely to slip into a pattern of behavior.  They feel fine about doing something a little bit worse the next time and then commit more severe unethical actions.  Coincidentally, the expert psychologists have called this as that 'SLIPPER SLOPE' effect no less😡😡😡

WHAT's alarming if NOT hair-raising are recent results from studies which concluded:

• People are more likely to justify small ethical indiscretions than major ones.
• Over time, as they justify more and more, they can be led to justify even those bigger and worsening indiscretions
• And WHEN faced with major dilemmas. they are less likely to be unethical
• And in the end, they are more LIKELY to make unethical choices if they are faced with indiscretions gradually over time

Our takeaway:  SO HOW do we stem that slide towards that [quite] treacherous SLIPPERY SLOPE?  Nothing fancy here.  NO rocket science either.  With ethics, it is NOT and should NOT be compared to the kaleidoscope offering tons of colors because in ethics, it is as simple as a black OR white.  NO grays even.  And if ever we go astray and tag things as either gray or ash-gray, you're already one foot into that path that will lead you offtrack one day.  As we all constantly travel through, especiallu those SLIPPERY SLOPES, it pays to be mindful and incisively aware WHEN things take a different turn!!!

A Crisis Is A Crisis

 

Call anything by any name except a CRISIS because a CRISIS IS A CRISIS no less.   We can downplay things and coax things to reduce the severity of a CRISIS BUT there's no other way to get around a CRISIS except to tackle it, contain it, resolve and the bottomline is to survive a CRISIS even if one does NOT end up unscathed.  BUT before I get read wrongly, I am NOT trying to sow anything that approximates those Armaggedon-like scenario, no sirrrrrs, NOT even my least intent here💧💧💧

In simplest semantics, CRISIS can be anything that comes out of a variety of stressful events in our lifetime.  YES, each of us has unique ways of dealing with these 'uneventful' events in order for us to maintain that level of comfortable emotional balance and WHEN our usual coping mechanisms fail, we tend to seek and find ways of coping.  YES, sadly, a CRISIS state comes into being WHEN those new attempts fail to return us to that pre-CRISIS level of emotional balance.  YES, CRISIS is that state of feeling, an internal experience of confusion and anxiety to the degree that formerly previous successful coping mechanisms fail us and ineffective decisions and behaviors take their place💚💛💜

WHAT happens next?  Your guess is as good as mine.  We would likely end up confused, vulnerable, anxious, afraid, guilty and to an extent, driven to anger and veering towards hopelessness.  In the end, perceptions get altered and even memory may end up distorted, often beyond our control☝☝☝

WHEN we get hit with CRISIS, WHAT most of us miss out like 99% of the time is that we could in the midst of an opportunity.  YES, CRISIS is useful WHEN it causes us to go beyond familiar coping skills and instead, we end up driven to hone new skills, becoming more competent and even autonomous and less reliant on others [sounds familiar in some tightly knit cultures were families are so glued to each other even and most especially even in the midst of one CRISIS after another CRISIS.  To an extent, it's saddening😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  As there is NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL, you might get back to me and ask me, HOW DO WE HANDLE A CRISIS?  Easier said than done BUT let's endeavor to dump and throw out the window our vulnerabilities related to anxiety, helplessness and anger.  WHY?  Because they will do more harm than good WHEN weathering a crisis.  Instead, take things objectively.  Define and clarify the CRISIS you are in and list down your options in weathering it.  Take it.  DON'T rush with conclusions.  Bottomline is reach an informed decision because A CRISIS IS A CRISIS and you've got to deal with it dude!!!

Are You Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel?

 

ARE YOU SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL?  Per se, there's just nothing wrong with that, right?  Especially if that's your very own barrel.  Agree.  BUT without nitpicking, in a normal day-to-day life, should we be SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL?  No sirrrrrs. It's neither ideal NOR normal.  WHY?  Because it means you have breached your threshold [WHATEVER situation you may be in].  And WHAT does threshold mean?  Simple.  That's akin to the Korean DMZ [Demilitarized Zone] WHEREIN once either of the protagonists will breach it, they could be fatally shot.  Of course, in real life, we DON'T shoot ourselves BUT breaching our own threshold simply tells us that you are marginally within that imaginary line WHERE you need to tap your lifeline no less'☝☝☝

Let's take a leaf from the oil industry WHERE oil is generally measured in barrels.  WHICH reminds me that time I went through a week-long course in Oil Refining, I learnt that straight from the oil wells all the way to the Oil Refining process, the premium and most-sought part of oil are the upper parts.  And the lower sediments?  They will likely contain those sediments that should be extricated from oil itself.  So, WHAT's the ramification WHEN we are SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL???

It may NOT seem to be the 'end of the world' but as we often hear, SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL could be the 'BEGINNING OF THE END'.  And this is nearer to reality and truth indeed.  WHY?  Once you're contemplating to scrape that BOTTOM OF THE BARREL, that would be akin to clutching on straws💧💧💧

Having said that, even if it could sound like the BEGINNING OF THE END, frankly, that's NOT the end yet, right?  YES, it is obviously akin to a 'wake up call' OR even a final buzzer warning as it could imply your back seems to be stacked against the wall.  BUT if there is a 'light at the end of the tunnel' [and BTW, it's NOT an incoming train!@#$%?], it is that obvious fact that you've got a card or two to play out, even as it may sound out to be the weakest cards to play.  YES, having those weakest card is better than nothing💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  We can go on and on BUT then again, SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL is rarely a choice.  Bluntly, once you reach that point of realization, it is because you've got NO choices, NO options, NO cards to play.  BUT as we often hear from any of the self-proclaimed optimists a half-full glass and NOT a half-empty one.  At the end of the day, it's 'mind-setting your mindset'. If you seem flawed inside-out, you may realize that even SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL may NOT be enough after all😡😡😡

Are You Willing To 'PLAY BALL'

 

Are you willing to 'PLAY BALL'?  So sorry, wrong question dude because that should NOT be asked in the first place.  WHY?  To PLAY BALL in life is NOT a choice BUT WHEN circumstances warrant it, you've got to take the plunge and PLAY BALL.  For alignment, let's agree that to PLAY BALL means embracing challenges, committing to your goals and in the midst of adversities, turning around those setbacks into opportunities💥💥💥

Let's run an iteration of WHAT IFs.  WHAT IF you tend to avoid facing challenges by kind of looking the other way around?  YES you can opt for it BUT NOT to scare you, those challenges will NEVER dissipate in thin air.  There's even that likelihood that they may seem to be 'chasing' you WHICHEVER direction you may be veering.  WHAT IF as much as you're success-oriented and you've got your laid-out goals BUT in the end, you tend to scratch the surface instead of deep-diving and committing with a crusade-like focus.  WHAT IF you had well laid-out lofty plans for you and for your family BUT here you are, half-heartedly in pursuit of achieving those goals?  HOW far can you go dude😡😡😡

Let's not look farther than the NBA, a sports league no other league anywhere else can approximate in terms of magnitude and its impact both from a commercial perspective [YES, just the aggregate value of all its 30 combined franchises exceeds US$ 130 Billion, whew!] and even in the very competitive world of sports, to even have one foot into the NBA world, one has to earn the spurs to even earn the monicker like a 'DAWG'!  BUT before one can even get into that niche of the 'DAWGs', there's this question that will pop-up constantly until you can unconditionally declare that you're willing to PLAY BALL👀👀👀

WHEN I decided to take that quantum leap of taking on the huge risk of migrating to another country, hook, line and sinker, I was committed to PLAY BALL and I knew it that I may be facing several fronts all at the same time.  That 'culture shock' thing I knew would be too steep [akin to Mount Rushmore] for me to climb BUT unlike in technology, there is NO UNDO in life.  You can move forward [OR worse, you can standstill] BUT taking a step back is unthinkable.  This explains WHY before taking the plunge, one has to frankly ask himself, ARE YOU WILLING TO PLAY BALL?  If your response is less than unconditional and rock-solid, forget it, that may NOT be your 'cup of tea' and it behooves that you take stock of things before you reassess your readiness to PLAY BALL👌👌👌

Our takeaway:  If there are variables that should be stricken off once you reach that decision point to PLAY BALL OR NOT, we need to dump out the window even those slightest apprehensions and anxiety of failing.  WHEN those narratives circling around failures went into their post-mortems, the common denominator was their FEAR TO FAIL.  That's akin to an albatross hanging around your neck, whew!@#$%?

Why Is AWARENESS Under-rated?

 

Is AWARENESS that under-rated?  YES it is, dude, frankly!  To most of us, AWARENESS is nothing more than another byword in the English language.  BUT for us to mine and dissect it, many of us would be inclined to think that it's NOT worth it to even spare a second for a quick discourse.  BUT to quote the experts, AWARENESS is 'meditation in motion' no less.   That practice of bringing mindfulness into our daily life.  YES, we can practice that art of being here and there WHILE queued in that grocery checkout counter or WHEN weaving through that chronic traffic gridlock.  BUT can we agree that AWARENESS involves a simple yet incredible shift from our ordinary state of mind wandering to bring our attention to that level of AWARENESS as to WHAT is happening in the moment???

I recall stumbling across this catchy one-liner sometime back:  LIFE MOVES PRETTY FAST.  IF YOU DON'T STOP AND LOOK AROUND FOR A WHILE, YOU MIGHT MISS IT.  Indeed, top-heavy words that speak volumes underneath more than WHAT it's said.  I can attest that a life WHERE AWARENESS is wanting moves pretty fast.  Let's face it.  WHEN we wake up, go to work and do all our other day-to-day stuff, we often operate on 'autopilot' mode, sans that need for AWARENESS even as the days fly as do the weeks, months and years💧💧💧

HOW often do we exclaim "HOW TIME FLIES!"  Quite often, right?  Before we know it, with each passing year, the novelty of our life would seem to be diminishing even as our own AWARENESS level seem to decelerate.  I did come across a very insightful piece about MINDFULNESS WHERE it opines that if we really want to live much longer, our AWARENESS and PRESENCE [and NOT drug, NOT even healthy eating] is the best solution.  True, we may NOT live longer in terms of what calendar shows BUT our AWARENESS level can be a 'shot in the arm' even in the most mundane stuff☝☝☝

Do we recall early in life WHERE we appreciate WHEN the leaves fall?  OR even those pebbles we tend to step on WHILE walking around OR even smelling the scents of that recently cut grass  OR as simple as feeling the warmth of summer?  Probably YES WHEN we were at the Grade School, but that's about it, right?  There were multiple studies sharing the same conclusion that those simple manifestations of AWARENESS and presence does slow life down as they help us go through each day feeling more alive, awake and most importantly, content💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHAT do we need to exert OR invest to increase our AWARENESS in our daily life?  Very little, in fact, if at all.  BUT WHAT hinders us to increase our day-to-day AWARENESS are those tons of distractions that tend to drive us off-track.  And a big chunk of those distractions are the challenges we face.  BUT can we shove off those distractions that are beyond our control, if only to enhance our day-to-day AWARENESS in life👐👐👐

Those 'OPTICS' In Life

 

Sometimes, "IT'S OPTICS".  Earlier tonight, I was watching the Netflix Series "The Staircase" and the husband of his late wife was about to be indicted and his lawyer advised him that he has to surrender himself to the police.  And as a piece of advice, bring 50 bucks and a bible.  He retorted, "A BIBLE? HOW ABOUT A QURAN?"  His lawyer then advised him in a serious tone, "IT'S OPTICS".  YES YES Yowwww, there are times in life where "IT'S OPTICS" NOT because one is deceiving OR deceptive BUT it's how things play out in life💚💛💜

Forget about those meddlers, busybodies, chatterboxes and kibitzers BUT the harsh truth is that generally in life, WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET.  Try leaving your home even for just a walkaround in your local community, with your eyes swollen.  WHAT else will folks conclude [much as they are NOT intentionally there to monitor OR track you❎❎❎

HOW often do we see splashed across media a long-wanted fugitive on the loose WHO [finally] gets captured by authorities. And in the next photo-op, you could see him clutching a bible or a rosary [for Christians].  NOT to nitpick on that fugitive BUT that's how OPTICS in life really play out.  And even WHEN all your hands are on deck, that's the most you can do and invoke, to leverage on those OPTICS in life.  WHY?  Because WHEN you are left with very limited cards to play besides being severely handicapped, that's your 'best cards' to play.  Obviously, you can opt NOT to 'ride that merry-go-round' and be WHAT YOU ARE.  BUT WHY NOT leverage on those OPTICS in life WHEN you are left with the least options to play on😀😀😀

YES dude, we're NOT encouraging people to be hypocrites or increase the number of FAKE ones with whom we co-exist.  We can find that cowing lothario WHO is exerting his darn best mindful of that 'best foot forward' mindset and ethically OR even morally, there's nothing wrong with that at all💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Much as life can NEVER be perfect and we ourselves can NEVER be that 'spotless' even for the most petty stuff, at times, those petty stuff do matter and quite surprisingly, at times it does move those 'tectonic plates', either to boost OR shrink the perception people have on you.  BUT hold on, we're NOT encouraging you to keep track of people's perceptions because that's the least you can do except those OPTICS in life😡😡😡