Increasing Our Value?

 

A couple of times I asked this same question to different people:  "HOW DO YOU INCREASE YOUR VALUE?" Instantly, they responded back and alas, their responses were aligned based on one wrong assumption, i.e. that is, they took my question literally, WHICH means, WHEN they heard "VALUE", they considered those pecuniary $$$$$$ considerations [WHICH was NOT the context of my question].  So, I reframed my question so that they DON'T take it literally.  And that's WHEN I did observe they started to 'crack their brains', sort of💥💥💥

In short, setting aside all the material and financial things in life, HOW DO WE INCREASE OUR VALUE [as a person]?  BTW, I did NOT concoct that question because I was asked that same question as well [and I made the mistake of assuming that I had to take that question literally].  After soul-searching, I thought I can INCREASE MY VALUE by revisiting those intangibles, those attributes that has got nothing to do with material things BUT instead, as a reflection of oneself💚💛💜

HOW about in those moments of disagreement, can we stand pat without disrespecting others?

HOW about honoring our commitments [to a 'T'] to earn that reputation of being reliable?

HOW about encouraging others to improve and help them grow even either as a person OR as a worker?

HOW about valuing peopl's efforts, not just outcomes?

HOW about NOT reacting to everything, if not needed?

On a more positive note, wholeheartedly believing in yourself that you're capable of achieving things realistically, that will likely be your catalyst towards your road to success, YES you can even call it your road to redemption, if you may.  And YES do acknowledge that there is only one barrier along the way and that is YOU yourself.  WHICH means, you gotta remove that barrier😡😡😡

Our takeaway: Through the years, I always believe that we ourselves are capable to break that glass ceiling up there.  BUT WHAT is quite exasperating is WHEN I hear someone blurt with self-defeating statements like "THAT'S HOW FAR I CAN GO?" That's no different WHEN one says "OH NO, I'M NOT GOOD IN MATH!"  Oh Oh Oh, this brings me back to what I said awhile back that the only barrier along the way is our own self.  Let us clear that barrier ASAP, dude!!!

Fence-sitting In Life!

 

Supposedly, there is NOTHING wrong with FENCE-SITTING.  WHEN probably you're resting OR relaxing.  BUT in life, FENCE-SITTING gives us a totally different dimension. From a layman's perspective, FENCE-SITTING means withholding your judgment OR opinion until you have firmed up as to WHETHER you agree OR not with a particular situation that requires a decision.  In fact, FENCE-SITTING is usually a good idea until you are informed enough to come up with an informed decision.  Moreover, it is possible you can take both views to be mistaken OR inadequate BUT complementary and at the same time, there is a meaningful sense in WHICH the above expresses something similar.  YES, FENCE-SITTING in life can be tricky at times💥💥💥

Let's face it.  In life, indecisions are a fact of life, and it can be quite a 'lonely' decision OR even a plain situation.  BUT admittedly, if you ask me, by default I am a FENCE SITTER until such time I breach my own self-imposed self-timer.  And WHEN I'm a FENCE-SITTER, it is NOT because of my lack of conviction OR courage to take a stand BUT most of the time [I'll say 99%] of the time it is because I'd like to see, read and understand both sides of a story and weigh things😌😌😌

Before I would hear a chorus of "I TOLD YOU SO", allow me to caution you that FENCE-SITTERS get a bad rap BUT being a FENCE-SITTER does NOT mean avoiding to make decisions OR even vascillating to take either side OR choice to agree OR disagree.  BUT it's NOT about waffling OR dodging solutions either.  Instead, WITHOUT being defensive, it is about thoughtful contemplation and evaluating all available information thoroughly before committing to a particular stance of an issue OR a situation.  YES, WHILE that may give one a semblance of being indecisive, it can be a strategic way of ensuring that you will eventually come up with an informed decision💥💥💥

The problem arises WHEN we end up so cozy and comfy being a FENCE-SITTER to the extent that you end up buying time way beyond WHAT is reasonably justifiable.  True, we may seem wishy-washy BUT in a world WHERE everyone has an opinion OR even a theory WHICH they seem so certain to be true enough quick decisions are often valued over thoughtful ones and FENCE-SITTERS are the ones WHO ensure that every angle is sufficiently considered.  True, by straddling the fence, we can avoid the pitfalls of unconscious biases that cloud judgment.  YES, we strive for objectivity WHICH is essential in making fair and balanced decisions✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  NOT to downplay the worthiness of this thread BUT simply put, if FENCE-SITTING is more apt and more ok, by default, that is applicable to political views and corporate decisions.  Other than those exceptions, it behooves that we should NOT embrace FENCE-SITTING as a default BUT in life, time is of the essence.  Even if you're grappling with domestic decision-points at your home, you can only buy time so much BUT establish a threshold WHICH you yourself should embrace and commit to.  YES dude, FENCE-SITTING IN LIFE is really it😡😡😡

Good Versus Bad Thoughts

 

Our thread today is one of the simplest thoughts I ever considered to spend time, that is GOOD versus BAD THOUGHTs.  Per se, it's pretty normal to have those BAD OR GOOD THOUGHTs from time to time BUT what's quite alarming are the results of recent researches showing that, generally, BAD THOUGHTs may likely lead to 'BAD LIFE' WHEREAS GOOD THOUGHTs may likely lead to 'GOOD LIFE'.  Word of caution here, GOOD LIFE DOESN'T imply you'll be instantly successful WHILE BAD LIFE DOESN'T necessarily mean you're instantly a total wreck😡😡😡😡

NOT surprisingly, experts opine that as a general rule, BAD begets BAD, GOOD begets GOOD.  And that dovetails with their studies that lead to the fact that personality traits such as optimism and pessimism can indeed affect numerous areas of our health and well-being.  That POSITIVE thinking that usually comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress.  And effective stress management is associated with many health benefits, which on the other end, if we tend to be entertaining those BAD thoughts, e.g. pessimism, we can be courting trouble more than anything else.  In Feng Shui, although I am NOT an ardent believer of it, Feng Shui experts keep harping that BAD thoughts begets BAD results WHILE the GOOD thoughts may likely lead you to GOOD results!!!

Thrice I attended events hosted by Francis Kong, a highly respected business and motivational speaker WHO did highlight multiple times that POSITIVE thinking DOESN'T mean that we should ignore life's pleasant situations.  Simply put, POSITIVE thinking means that we approach unpleasantness in a more POSITIVE and productive way.  In the fewest words, it's kind of thinking that the best is going to happen [and NOT the worst].  Oh YES, I remember his opening statements:  POSITIVE THINKING OFTEN STARTS WITH SELF-TALK.  Digging in, self-talk is that endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head.  YES, those can be POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE thoughts❎❎❎

Through the years, I did recognize that those 'automatic thoughts' can either be POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE.  YES, some of our own self-talk comes from logic and reason.  Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that we tend to create because of that lack of information OR even expectations due to probable preconceived ideas of WHAT may happen.  And if those thoughts that run through our head end up to be predominantly NEGATIVE, it is very very likely that our outlook on life is more likely pessimistic.  On the other hand, if your thoughts tend to be frequently POSITIVE, there is that likelihood that you are an optimist, someone WHO practices POSITIVE thinking😌😌😌

Our takeaway:  Rather than exert extra efforts to dig deeper on this thread, allow me to paste EN TOTO the below health benefits of POSITIVE thinking [as published by Mayo Clinic:

• Increased life span
• Lower rates of depression
• Lower levels of distress and pain
• Increased resistance to illnesses
• Better psychological & physical well-being
• Better coping skills during the times of stress

Second Chances? Take It As The "LAST CALL" [For Boarding]

 

SECOND CHANCES in life?  As WHAT Meta's FB says, we should be FEELING BLESSED😍😍😍  Exactly dude!  If at all, SECOND CHANCES come very rarely and if they do, time becomes a crucial factor because that rarity can stem from the time that has passed, a person's unwillingness to change OR broken trust, making each chance valuable and a potentially new beginning.  Even as each new day is a new chance, BUT a specific second chance at a past situation is limited by time.  Without sounding like a threat, IF and WHEN those SECOND CHANCES do knock on your door, spare no extra second to swing that door wide open, grab that SECOND CHANCE and pour it out, give it all so it WON'T be in vain💙💛💚

A zillion times, I did witness first-hand people having those SECOND CHANCES but I've to admit, I felt aghast WHEN they take their own sweet time.  MAYBE they DON'T want to appear as so eager-beaver?  MAYBE they HAVEN'T recovered from that previous slip-up?  MAYBE they believe that they had all the time in the world?  MAYBE they are just as slow-footed as turtles?  MAYBE they [wrongly] expect that close to the heels of SECOND CHANCES, a THIRD CHANCE OR even a FOURTH CHANCE will still be in the offing?  MAYBE he's pride is so lofty and as high as the top of that lighthouse tower, oblivious of the fact that although he may stand out as a lighthouse, he stands so isolated out there???

BUT sometimes, playing the devil's advocate, I sometimes ask this question:  WHY give someone that SECOND CHANCE WHEN he screwed up?  WHY do people plead for forgiveness AND THEN, screw up [AGAIN!@#$%?] This is especially most perplexing in plots WHERE the characters screw up so damn badly that we end up baffled as to HOW they get another SECOND CHANCE at all.  Stories like that indeed frustrates and annoys me no end [although admittedly, I did have my share of faults in the past]💥💥💥

Many times, I perceived that with SECOND CHANCES, it applies to those big SCREW UPs.  NO sirrrrrrs.  SECOND CHANCES also apply to those little things, like forgetting a lunch appointment, OR breaking a small promise.  OR even promising your kid you'll buy something WHEN you go home from work yet you arrive home empty handed.  Question me if your credibility does NOT get dented by that miss???

Our takeaway:  If I had my way, I'll obliterate "SECOND CHANCES" from the English language and call it instead as "LAST CALL".  NOT as a threat BUT that's the messaging I'd like to drive out here.  In fact, I strongly feel that things will be much better off if we embed that "LAST CALL" mindset everytime that SECOND CHANCE does happen.  Because that "LAST CALL" should be enough to tell us frankly and bluntly to SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT!@#$%?  And lastly, if I may add, let us NOT even think of THIRD and FOURTH chances.  Frankly, enough is enough.  Let's live life as a ONE-OFF CHANCE and WHEN that SECOND CHANCE comes, let's take it as that "LAST CALL"!@#$%?

Nothing Gets Hidden Forever!

 

NOTHING GETS HIDDEN FOREVER. It's true the scents of perfume smell so nice.  Meanwhile, through the centuries that we are aware of [at least even referencing our history books], TRUTH prevails regardless if it is a positive OR negative one.  Just like in our own homes, at times, we tend to sweep the dust under the carpet and even keep anything that smells unpleasant way beyond.  BUT it goes only as far as time can handle it BUT for how long?  Even more than 6 years after his suicide while imprisoned, that JEFFREY EPSTEIN saga has dragged one too many personalities and as it is, scandals know NO BOUNDARIES.  You can even be a member of the British Royalty like the former 'PRINCE' Andrew, one of the key members of the Mountbatten-Windsor Family💚💛💜

Studies show that much as our body needs ATP [Adenosine Triphosphate], that universal energy currency molecule our brain needs, it needs that constant supply of ATP to 'power' its functions such as neurotransmitter cycling.  Surprisingly, without that ATP, our brain cannot perform complex tasks like forming thought OR even moving muscles.  And the derived conclusion is that it is human nature for us to be as perfect as possible💧💧💧

Then, voila, WHAT happens next?  Lies and dishonesty may creep in.  BUT the huge catch here is that no one and nothing can ever-ever hide the truth for so long, including the most unpleasant ones.  BUT here's the thing.  WHY can there be chronic and idemic lies over and over again?  WHEN some things are better left unsaid, NOT because they are shameful OR wrong BUT because saying them out loud might do more harm than good.  YES, we all do have passing thoughts, small frustrations, OR those private feelings that live in the quiet corners of our minds.  And sometimes, sharing every single one of them does not help BUT instead, it chips things away❌❌❌

So, here's a NOT so challenging question.  Does keeping something to yourself mean you are being dishonest?  I had to sneak into the world views even from psychology experts and in unison, their response is "NOT ALWAYS"!.  As there is a difference between hiding and choosing peace.  Between silence and secrecy, knowing WHEN to speak and WHEN to stay silent is a quiet skill, one that grows with time, trust and even, hold your breath, unconscious care.  These experts further opine that because while dishonesty matters deeply, NOT all truths need to be voiced to be valid.  Sometimes, keeping a few personal secrets is just a softer way of holding space💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Interestingly, allow me to paste here instances WHERE experts opine are better off as UNSAID:  Those small annoyances that do NOT truly matter.  Those doubts that could be just passing emotions.  Past hookups that have NO relevance now [YES, your own history is YOURS😡😡😡]  Those opinions and heresay that remain as such.  WHY repeat them?  True, NOTHING GETS HIDDEN FOREVER but NOT everything is either black OR white from this dimension, dude😁😁😁

Digging Deeper Into The Weeds

 

Oh Oh, sorry folks, I'm NOT misleading you towards agriculture as I was NOT born with that 'green thumb' BUT instead, this brings us back to our small planet earth WHERE there are just one too many myriad micro-level stuff, enough to catch us by our lapels.  Literally, think about the restaurant cook trying to cope up with the mile-long queue of food orders.  At that point, HOW else can the Cook DIG DEEPER INTO THE WEEDS???

I remember when I was @Shell, WHERE for the very first time, I got introduced into those very structured annual performance reviews and come the review period, I'd do WHAT I need to do and during my F2F's with each of my team members, they had a common reaction, that my narratives were way too verbose, too long, and they thought they were reading a book, ouch.  I thought that was a complement but belatedly, I realized that it was the opposite.  Ouch, that hurts, sort of❎❎❎

NOT to be defensive, I came across this quote from Anthony D'Angelo. And instantly, I told myself, Oh Oh, I was doing the right things after all!!!  BUT there are two sides of the coin here.  One is, DIGGING DEEPER INTO THE WEEDS to fix and resolve a problem, even finding its very root cause.  On the other hand, from a leadership perspective, this leads us to that judgment call we have to make💚💛💜

WHICH brings me back to one of the annual reviews WHERE I was at the receiving end.  Much as it seems that I performed well that year [from the perspective of my Dutch expat line manager then], my improvement area [as per my boss then] was for me to manage OR contain my tendencies to be 'micro-managing' things.  And NOT to be defensive, I acknowledged it as a valid observation and NOT to defend myself, I explained that having started as a 'techie' from the ground up, I had that tendency💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Let's close this out from two different perspectives.  From a problem-solving scenario, YES, we gotta DIG DEEPER INTO THE WEEDS because that's the only way to eke out the very root cause and apply that final fix.  Other than that scenario, it behooves that we should pull-in OR pull-out depending on the circumstances enveloping you at that time.  WHAT's important here is your timely moves IN or OUT when DIGGING DEEPER INTO THE WEEDS😗😗😗

Reading That 'READING' Challenge!

 

Donkey years back, one of the most pressing challenges in the Third World was addressing the very low literacy rate.  Unsurprisingly, one of the most common tack was 'book campaigns' to encourage READING.  Fast forward to today, as we speak, is READING still a challenge?  Yesss absolutely it's a challenge BUT NOT because of illiteracy, NOT that train of thought💥💥💥

Many years ago in our high school days, if there was a constant pressure we were enduring, it's the never-ending 'book reports' we had to comply with.  Those HARDY BOYS book series, I remember that WHEN the bell rings and classes end, you can imagine opening the floodgates and the huge flow of water almost envelopes the library.  Fast-forward to today, as we speak, TIMES HAVE CHANGED dude!  That literacy rate?  That's NEVER a talking point now as the onrush of multimedia and social media.  In one third world country I'm very familiar with, the saturation rate for TV is 34% whereas for mobile phones, it has breached 95% as of January 2025, whew💚💛💜

NOW, times have changed!  Years back, I seemed to have an unlimited bandwidth for reading, sometimes tucking a book under my pillow for an unfinished book and as recent as the Pre-Pandemic years, each time I go to the more popular local fast food in my place, I would always request for a copy of the day's broadsheet newspaper.  Sadly, from the time we went through that Pandemic lockdown and even as we speak now, those broadsheet newspapers are totally non-existent in the most popular fast food chain here.  Collateral damage you might call it☝☝☝

BUT can we agree that READING struggles are LIFE's struggles as well?  As much as I CAN'T and WON'T claim to be a voracious reader, I have to humbly admit that somehow, I have achieved that level of consistency of at least NOT losing that appetite to read.  I remember even during those 'redeye' flights WHEN the whole cabin has been dimmed and there was nothing except that eerie silence.  And alternating between inflight movies, music and e-Books, often I would end up with e-Books WHEN I felt saturated with either the movies OR music.  The only trick is that I needed to know WHAT reading stuff I can browse via the inflight entertainment system.  WHERE I fail to find the stuff I was hungering to read, it pays to be familiar with the kinds of inflight printed reading stuff normally available!!!

Our takeaway:  Let's run some WHAT IF's.  WHAT IF our normal self WON'T have that appetite even for the barest minimum reading appetite?  NOT to scare you dude, I'm afraid that more often you will be at least half a step behind, if NOT a step OR many steps behind.  And WHEN a handicap indeed becomes a handicap, it will eventually impact you down the road, less informed, less updated, less aligned with the goings-on.  Ironically, unlike before you had to go through Amazon or run down to your favorite bookstore, these days, all it takes is to grab your smart device scour the web for that reading stuff to whet your appetite.  Dude, this is all about Reading that 'READING' challenge😡😡😡

Facts Vs Truth

 

FACTS versus TRUTH, are they one and the same synonym, redundant enough to co-exist?  Rightfully, if we go 'by the books', obviously, they are [supposedly] one and the same, right?  For alignment, FACTS, as defined by AI, are objective and verifiable statements that can be proven with evidence WHILE TRUTH is a more subjective concept as we would derive both the meaning and our understanding from those FACTS, WHICH at times are poles apart💚💛💜

As much as both FACTS and TRUTH have been loosely and interchangeably used throughout these times, in a plurality of disconnects that turn into arguments and later on worsen into full-blown conflicts, not just amongst people BUT even between countries and geo-politics powers.  We might get puzzled, HOW in the world disconnects would still sprout considering all the FACTS are laid-out across?  Exactly my point.  Even as FACTS are indisputable, they can still be objectively verified and proven as such via artefacts and evidence.  OH YES, FACTS are NOT decided on as regards the number of people WHO would agree to it OR accept it as such, as FACTS💥💥💥

WHAT's going on in favor of FACTS is that they are NOT measured OR validated subjectively especially since, as evidence supporting FACTS would mount, such FACTS become irrefutable.  WHILE I did witness that sometimes we tend to resist FACTS, over time, we would end up acknowledging such FACTS, sometimes NOT as our choice OR option BUT because that's the only way to go and no other way✅✅✅

WHERE will TRUTH get into the picture?  More often, it initially sprouts here and there as part of those hodge-podge of opinions WHICH, when expressed in good faith, are value judgments that expresses a feeling OR view.  True, alongside our human nature, those opinions may OR may NOT be supported by FACTS.  Instead, those OPINIONS rely on assumptions [Oooops, HOW many times I heard "DON'T ASSUME"?] and are exceedingly dependent on the perspective of those holding them❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  WHAT and WHERE we need to increase our awareness is the undeniable FACT that TRUTH is created by people to describe HOW things really are.  They are best described as a state of belief that is thought to represent a universal reality.  We decide WHAT TRUTHS we are willing to believe in.  And TRUTHS DON'T have to be logical OR verifiable.  They simply have to be shared and WHEN like-minded people agree as to a given reality of HOW things are, then TRUTH emerges.  YES dude, that's FACTS vs TRUTH!!!

Reading The Tea Leaves

 

READING THE TEA LEAVES is something I DIDN'T learn early in life.  NOT until I had that quite memorable very first tete-a-tete with our Managing Director @Goodyear.  For alignment, let us quote its technical meaning WHICH AI defines as the 'LITERAL PRACTICE OF TASSEOGRAPHY, A FORM OF DIVINATION WHERE YOU INTERPRET PATTERNS IN TEA LEAVES TO PREDICT THE FUTURE'.  BUT for our thread today, let's reference this as a metaphorical phrase for CAREFULLY EXAMINING SUBTLE CLUES TO PREDICT [OR at least PREEMPT] FUTURE developments.  BUT alas, a huge sizable chunk of us do miss out READING THE TEA LEAVES.  And to me, this is a huge miss because this hovers almost all facets of our daily lives💥💥💥

Frankly, READING THE TEA LEAVES is NO rocket science.  You DON'T even need to enroll even in a 101 online course.  Instead, this entails quite a list of little-little attributes and deeply embedded behaviors:

LIKE having that eye for detail, not missing a bit

LIKE reinforcing awareness of the world around you

LIKE practising focused reflection of things going on

For one's self-discovery, it behooves that we know fully well WHAT are those stuff that naturally draws you to, e.g. your dreams way back your childhood, the skills you enjoy using, OR even areas WHERE you feel a strong bond.  And then, piggy-back with mindful reflections LIKE asking yourself open-ended questions LIKE WHAT activities make me feel 'most alive'?  OR WHAT issues OR advocacies I am passionate💚💛💜

To reinforce your awareness of the environment enveloping you, observation is key BUT we are counselled to NEVER pass judgment.  Instead of immediately criticizing OR even praising, take your time to be incisive in observing subtle gestures, habits and communication styles.  WHEN do we READ TEA LEAVES?

WHEN in 'discovery mode', you need to understand a situation 

WHEN you want to explore establishing connection 

WHEN there's a potential disconnect you want to pre-empt

WHEN there's a brewing conflict that may turn from bad to worse

WHEN you're transitioning into a new community or company

Our takeaway:  Much as I learned the ropes to READ THE TEA LEAVES much later, I have to admit that READING THE TEA LEAVES helped me transition into new organizations as seamless as it can be.  And WHEN I got embroiled with 'hard ball' commercial negotiations, it was a huge help for me to remain incisive with the intangibles because WHEN gloves are OUT and fists are IN, it's nothing less than those no-holds-barred make-or-break situations.  YES dude, READING THE TEA LEAVES will be a huge help, promise😀😀😀

That Gap Between Our Potentials Versus Results

 

Supposedly, TRANSLATING OUR POTENTIALS INTO RESULTS should NOT be a talking point at all.  BUT the truth is, this is a topic overlooked more often than we thought.  WHY?  Plain and simple reason is that it's very rare for people to initiate a POST-MORTEM to assess the actual results vis-a-vis the potentials way before the results came about.  Problem is, it's our human nature to simply shrug off our shoulders and move to the next pit stop💚💛💜

My take here is that that's the 'GAP OF THE GAP'!  Frankly, missing out to initiate a POST-MORTEM is inexcusable.  And WHILE this is open to conjecture, let's think about it.  IF we're quite consistent enough in initiating a POST-MORTEM, that will go a long way to improve our future performance [even if it's another unique endeavor].  Frustratingly, I DON'T see a solid chunk of buy-in for POST-MORTEMs except in organizations WHERE this is a MUST-DO✅✅✅

The BIG MISS here are the UPSIDEs of POST MORTEMS.  In fact, enhancing one's capability is something that should be part of our 'continuous improvement' mindset.  Let's rattle off the most obvious reasons WHY we need POST-MORTEMs:

• To RIGHT THE WRONGS [obviously]
• To FINE-TUNE [even the correct actions taken]
• To REINFORCE the gains of previous successes
• To INSTILL the 'continuous improvement' mindset

WHAT IF we simply disavow POST-MORTEMS?  True that WON'T burn the house down BUT in the long run, we will be missing on the following:

THAT proactiveness to self-improve regardless if you did things correctly OR wrongly

THAT mindset to constantly self-improve

THAT discipline NOT to accept the status quo [UNLESS that's the only viable option left]

THAT window of opportunity to improve because that surfaces as a low hanging fruit for our easy picking after our completion of an endeavor😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  Let's take a step back as regards the most common reason POST-MORTEMS are NOT part of our regimen.  YES sireeeee, there is that prevailing school of thought that POST-MORTEMS are a waste of time and effort [based on the lame reasoning that there are more urgent and pressing stuff to be prioritized].  BUT dude, you gotta 'throw away' this mindset out the window because your responsibilities on your shoulder more than justifies for you to carry on with those PROACTIVE SELF-CHECKS with the end view to reduce the GAP BETWEEN OUR POTENTIALS VERSUS RESULTS, dude!!!