Time To 'SHAKE UP' Yourself?

 

Time to 'SHAKE UP' yourself?  NO sirrrrrrs, pardon me, I'm NOT referring to our oversized friends WHO are soon to be queueing to the gym.  BUT instead, do you recall  sometimes, seated in a corner, pondering endlessly ABOUT the next activity you want to get hooked to?  OR next business endeavor?  OR next interest?  OR even flying off to your next destination?  Sometimes, those restless thoughts are your life's way of nudging you toward CHANGE.  BUT my question, HOW often is CHANGE forthcoming in our life???

BUT just to clear up things, CHANGE DOESN'T always have to mean LIKE packing up, moving house, relocating to a new country, quitting your job or settling halfway across the world.  Sometimes [I'm tempted to exclaim 'MANY TIMES'] it is about moving those small, smaller parts and shifts that help us feel more alive, more intentional and more in tune with yourself💚💛💜

YES, we've all had those moments, that restless 3 am thoughts about switching careers or changing your domicile/residence OR even wondering if cutting your hair off will magically transform your life.  On the flip side, there are the long stretches WHERE we go through the motions of on autopilot telling yourself, 'Hey, it's fine' even though deep down it DOESN'T feel fine at all💥💥💥

SO HOW?  WHEN do we know when IT'S TIME TO SHAKE UP?  WHEN someone asks WHY you're doing WHAT you're doing, WHETHER that's your job OR your relationship, OR even your hobbies, do we realize that sometimes [and probably many times], we tend to struggle even answering our very own questions?  If we're living without a sense of direction OR intention, it might be time to pause and re-examine WHAT actually matters to us.  Are we chasing that 'HAPPY' mode in futility😗😗😗

Our takeaway:  WHILE the need to SHAKE UP yourself may NOT seeming as a pressing matter to take action, it behooves that we take stock of things especially if and WHEN we discern that pattern of us constantly chasing to be 'HAPPY' but never feeling fulfilled.  True, there's nothing wrong with wanting joy BUT if you're only focused on staying comfortable and avoiding discomfort, you might be missing that deeper kind of satisfaction that comes from growth, challenge and connection.  YES dude, true fulfillment often involves a mix of UPs and DOWNs instead of a constant high.  TIME TO SHAKE UP YOURSELF???

Is The Juice Worth The Squeeze?

 

With skills still looming as one of the most in demand variable out there in the market, once OR twice, I was asked this question:  IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE?  That's WHEN I really did grind to a halt and seriously pondered that question during those times WHEN I was in the middle of sourcing out the team members of a new but aggressive offshoring opportunity that fell on my lap WHEN I still had to strategize things out📗📙📘

In the labor market, this discussion if the JUICE IS WORTH THE SQUEEZE would continue to linger far longer than ever, no thanks to the unexpected inroads of AI in our landscape.  BUT we WON'T delve into an AI discussion as we'll reserve that for a separate thread in the future.  For now, let's pick our brains and relate this cliche with our daily lives.  LIKE when we stretch our own selves and even our health by logging-in more than 40 hour-work weeks, IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE?  LIKE after all your long hours at work for you to deliver the goods, so to speak, only for your health to suffer a hit down the road, IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE???

Even in our relationships, WHEN both parties would recognize a significant gap OR disconnect between themselves, WHILE it is ideal for both [parties] to mutually adjust, there are real-life circumstances WHEN that equilibrium is non-existent because one party is too far from WHAT is acceptable or even reasonable.  In the end, the other party would then endeavor to SQUEEZE as much as he can BUT then again, that brings us to the same rejoinder.  IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE???

In essence, this insight tells us that while the results and outcome really matter, it is NOT and should NOT be the fulcrum to tilt it in favor of prolonging that 'SQUEEZE' if the amount of effort [NOT to mention all the stressors] to be exerted will justify the eventual results and outcome.  In those historical wars and battles, we all have heard about that pyrrhic victory.  And that is the same pyrrhic victory we might eventually claim when we SQUEEZE things way beyond the justifiable JUICE you can extract💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  In any pursuit in life, there is NO SIZE THAT FITS ALL and yes, by a stretch, the END DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE MEANS.  Instead, we need to take stock of things, take a measured approach once you reach a 'forked road' because beyond that point, there is no 'UNDO'.  YES dude, be mindful IF THE JUICE IS WORTH THE SQUEEZE😡😡😡😡

Do We Write Notes On What We Know OR What We DON'T Know?

 

Do We Write Notes On What We Know OR What We DON'T Know?  Sound like a silly question?  BUT it's NOT dude.  The thing is, there has been NO consistency on this BUT please DON'T get me wrong, there is NO right OR wrong on this aspect as this is always part of our habit formation.  We would hear that we're supposed to write WHAT we know WHEREAS many of us [and that includes me] would rather write WHAT we need to remember💚💛💜

Prior to that dreaded Covid-19 Pandemic, we all sing the same tune, that is, we're BUSY [but of course, especially with the perennial traffic gridlock which has compounded by probably 10 to 20 times through the years.  Then, Covid-19 Pandemic hit us hard.  BUT then, even during that pandemic itself, life has always been busy, right?  And sometimes it seems easier to let the momentum of rushing around carry me through instead of doing the work of staying in the moment.  And my default disposition then is to be anxious💥💥💥

Oh Oh, I used to just power through, working myself to exhaustion, and then, berating myself for failing to meet those lofty and quite impossible standards I pre-set for myself.  BUT as I keep threading on in this planet, I'll admit that I'd be kinder to myself, to create systems that work with my anxiety instead of trying to force myself into doing things the normal way💧💧💧

One of my coping mechanisms then is to always have stacks of Post-it Notes around for stuff and actions I need to remember.  So, instead of lecturing myself, I simply flip through those Post-it Notes.  Of course, they look that troublesome BUT those helped me a lot to ensure that I would avoid commiting that oversight twice in a row [WHICH, frankly, is frustrating to vent out]😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Writing NOTES may seem that oh-so boring stuff to talk about allow me to pitch my spiel here.  Let us NOT underestimate those small-small stuff because it may sound as 'loose change' OR small pebbles BUT look at the beach fronts facing the immense sheets of water, they are made up of those small-small pebbles.  Back into our lives, WHAT IF you keep missing important things OR actionable matters from time to time, WON'T that add-up to your pile-up of mediocrity?  DO WE WRITE NOTES ON WHAT WE KNOW OR WHAT WE DON'T KNOW???

Picking Up Those 'Low-hanging Fruits' Around

 

NO sirrrrs, our piece today does NOT relate to Magnus Carlsen, the undisputed and undoubtedly most dominant chess player today.  BUT instead, we'd like to exert the least efforts in picking those low hanging fruits around us, those LIFE LESSONS up for our picking NOW [and NOT tomorrow, NOT next year, NOT WHEN we reach the twilight zone].  LIKE WHEN people judge people.  That kind of peer pressure can lead one to go stray from the rightful path one started to carve out for his/her future.  So, can we just DON'T mind other people's aspirations and DON'T ever let someone else's goals and dreams influence our vision in life.  Because at the end of the day, it is our own path and we decide WHERE it takes us and HOW long it takes us to see it through.  Ignore the cacophony of noises around!!!

More often than not, we fail to act due to our lack of confidence OR courage.  Sometimes, it's all due to our procrastination.  That hesitation keeps us from moving forward and in the end, it pushes us deep into a 'cage' of wondering WHAT might have been.  And WHENEVER we feel it's time to act, then we should take action.  And no matter WHAT the outcome may be, there is that strong likelihood that you will end up smarter than before😄😄😄

No matter HOW much we think we know about some topic, it is only after we have put that knowledge into use that we get confirmation of our actual level of understanding that we possess.  Very true, we could read about painting, learn all the techniques and brush types, color palettes, name it BUT only WHEN we get in front of the canvas and start painting we would put our knowledge to test.  Obviously, the results are NOT guaranteed BUT until we plunge into the waters, HOW would you know that you can swim💧💧💧

Oh Oh Oh, I heard this many times, GOOD THINGS DON'T COME EASY.  And if I may add, more often than NOT, those GOOD THINGS come the HARD WAY.  Even WHEN we're feeling most prepared, there is always that likelihood that there is a chance we will fail in accomplishing our goal.  LIKE an athlete could lead the entire marathon race only to fall short just in front of the finish line and lose by a hairline margin.  This DOESN'T mean though that the athlete should stop competing BUT instead, that competitive athlete would work even harder to prepare for the next competition and by now, I guess we hear the same narrative WHEREIN most of the time, eventually, that athlete wins and prevails😁😁😁

Our takeaway:  Bottomline here is that life goes by faster than we can ever think so it's really crucial for us to appreciate the present moment.  YES, I vividly remember, WHEN I was in my twenties, I [wrongly] thought that I'll stay there forever, ouch BUT before I knew it, I had to roll my punches into the thirties and by that time, I was a step late for the things I wanted to do and achieve early in life.  Living our life to its fullest extent becomes a no-brainer because dude, LIFE IS SHORT and we never know WHAT tomorrow brings for us down the road.  YES, PICK UP THOSE LOW-HANGING FRUITS pronto, dude💥💥💥

Silent Treatment, Anyone?

 

SILENT TREATMENT, ANYONE?  Supposedly, this should be a NON-ISSUE, a NON-TOPIC in fact.  BUT rightfully, that's NOT how things would go anyways.  And WHETHER that behavior OR manifestation is abusive depends on the person doing it and their motivation.  WHEN I was in grade school, I did pick up some rarely used vocabulary like OXYMORON, which essentially, is a figure of speech that brings together those contradictory terms and 'ORGANIZED CHAOS' is a popular OXYMORON BUT to translate it in more relevant terms, I'd like to tag it as that DEAFENING SILENCE, that SILENT TREATMENT that seemingly goes unnoticed even WHEN, at times, you are on the receiving end📗📙📘

And if have been on the receiving end of that SILENT TREATMENT, we would know HOW powerful [and often times painful] SILENCE can be.  BUT the perplexing question is:  WHY IS THAT?  To put things in perspective, let's align that SILENT TREATMENT is that act of withholding communication, that common stonewalling behavior that can be either intentional OR unintentional.  For some, that is a coping mechanism BUT for others, it is that way of causing harm.  BUT you might play devil's advocate and ask HOW SILENCE can be harmful.  And psychologists claim that it has to do with the effect 'social exclusion' has on our bodies and minds💥💥💥

Experts tell us that our sympathetic nervous system reacts WHEN we think that a 'social bond' is under threat.  To quote their studies, our 'dorsal anterior cingulate cortex' [that region of our brain responsible for processing pain] lights up.  In layman's terms, being ignored OR rejected hurts.  NOW, WHETHER the hurt is done purposely is essential to know BUT only up to a point.  And across the board, that 'SILENT TREATMENT' is a behavior that indicates poor communication, conflict resolution and emotional regulation skills.  Sadly, SILENT TREATMENT comes to us in different forms and shapes😡😡😡

Just to state the obvious, SILENT TREATMENT happens IF:

• WHEN you are intentionally IGNORED
• WHEN people DON'T respond WHEN you reach out
• Hours, days and weeks without communicating to you
• WHEN they talk to others [sometimes in front of you] YET they DON'T talk to you
• WHEN they leave without telling you WHEN to be back and WHERE are they bound for
• WHEN they act AS IF nothing is wrong and instead, would even initiate acts OR deeds to provoke you

Our takeaway:  WHAT is alarming is WHEN SILENT TREATMENT is NO less than an ABUSE as it impacts a person in a variety of ways.  For 'people-pleasers' OR those with history of trauma, SILENT TREATMENT is frightening no less.  And things can get worse WHEN that SILENT TREATMENT becomes destabilizing, leading one to confusion and self-doubt.  WHAT's worst is WHEN one questions himself for getting that SILENT TREATMENT, ouch!@#$%?

How Often Our Brain Is Playing Tricks On Us?

 

HOW OFTEN OUR BRAIN IS PLAYING TRICKS ON US?  Probably, most of the time, we get tricked as we are NOT aware OR conscious about it.  BUT YES, it does happen [even multiple times each day].  To piggy-back on the technical and functional definitions about our brain, as it is only a three-pound tissue, YET it is the 'control center' of our body, capable to be managing everything from memory to the moment.  BUT we are cautioned here that our mind is NEVER perfect as at times, it forgets some essential details📗📙📘

How often do these misses happen?  LIKE we miss out our friend's birthday, our dentist appointment, OR our client meeting [thanks to the Calendaring tools that gets partially addressed], BUT surprisingly, it also often fails to notice things in our surroundings, leading us to commit mistakes that would hurt us OR make us sick. WHAT it means is that our mind does NOT really depict reality as it is and usually takes shortcuts to ease its workload.  BUT WHAT's true is that those brain tricks are annoying.  From subtle cognitive biases to perceptual illusions, our minds often deceive us without realizing it❎❎❎

Those hidden biases are the very triggers of a hell lot of theseHeard of that 'HALO EFFECT'?  WHERE one might automatically assume that a new coworker must possess high moral integrity?  Then there's that hindsight bias WHEN from time to time, we would blurt out LIKE 'I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT THAT WE WILL LOSE' after suffering a defeat in a competitive sports event despite lacking foresight into the game's outcome.  Another bias that clouds us is our 'attributional' bias which causes that unfair coloring of our judgment of others.  LIKE WHEN we walk into that Starbucks cafe and the barista errs, leading us to hastily label them as incompetent OR indifferent, disregarding the probability that they may have been overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tasks at hand💥💥💥

And NOT to forget the confirmation bias, WHICH prompts us to 'cherry-pick' OR actively seeking information that aligns with our existing beliefs WHILE dismissing conflicting evidences at hand.  BUT it is detestable WHEN our mind tends to play that 'BLAME GAME' LIKE WHEN adversity strikes, our brain instinctively seeks a scapegoat to shoulder the blame.  Essentially, we end up engaging in that 'quiet dance of distortion', twisting reality to shield our self-esteem from failure😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  WHAT perplexes me though is the mystery as to WHY we play that 'blame game'?  Researchers suggest that many of our attributional biases serve as our 'psychological armor', shielding us from that crippling fear of failure as we tend to safeguard our self-worth by attributing mishaps to external factors beyond our control.  Conversely, WHEN it comes to our triumphs, we readily credit our traits, skills and efforts and WHILE there may be truth to these attributions, it is essential to acknowledge for us to figure out towards increasing our own awareness so that we become more incisive and conscious IF and WHEN OUR BRAIN IS PLAYING TRICKS ON US???

It's HOW You 'DELIVER' It!

 

I'm NOT going down the path to run a lecture of WHAT communications is.  Everyone knows that.  BUT hell no, can we have a show of hands as to WHY there's still so much gaps and disconnects happening all over the place?  YES, we all know the 7 C's of communications, i.e. CLEAR, CONCISE, CONCRETE, CORRECT, COHERENT, COMPLETE and COURTEOUS.  BUT the question is, IS THIS ALL TO IT???

One I stepped into a Starbucks branch nearby, waiting for my 'overpriced' coffee WHEN I did overhear the next guy loudly explaning to his friend WHY he was absolutely certain that left-handed people were more likely to be criminals?  WHAAAAT?  WTF serious, I almost rushed out of Starbucks just to avoid that loud-mouthed guy spreading that fallacy, like a virus-like thing spreading out much faster than the bushfires in the Australian outback😡😡😡

Oh, that guy?  It seems he was serious enough because he even rattled off FAKE statistics with so much confidence, you might even misconstrue him as having tucked a PhD in 'nonsense', whew.  WHAT was an eXtra surprise for me was that his friend kept nodding and nodding all along like it made perfect sense [BUT I'm NOT sure if he agreed OR NOT].  WHAT I realized was that likely, his friend was nodding NOT because he agreed BUT because he liked the way things sounded, the way the messaging was DELIVERED💥💥💥

If you were a leader @ the workplace and you've got a mediocre project team member, HOW will you handle things?  You DON'T 'whack' that project team member right in the open @ the Town Hall, right?  And if you want to give your child a sage advice, you DON'T blurt out in the open right WHEN you fetch your child at the school gate!  And WHEN there seems to be a marital disconnect, much as we have vociferous lawyers all around more than willing to dip their hands in the cookie jar, you'll try to fix it privately, right???

Our takeaway:  I remember, for those tons of times I flew via Singapore Airlines, Cathay, Emirates, and even EvaAir and Thai, whenever I pressed the FA button to request for something, when they get back to me, the FA will even literally stoop down, and hand it over to me in a 'hush' WHEREAS how's the FA's of United Airlines perceived?  Once you asked for some more peanuts, sure you'll have it back on the way back, they'll literally THROW IT BACK to you with a 'THERE YOU GO!' stroke.  So, dude, you may have it all right BUT IT'S HOW YOU DELIVER!!!

That Boring Word Spelled CONSISTENCY

 

That oh-so-boring word spelled C-O-N-S-I-S-T-E-N-C-Y is a word I'm hard pressed to leverage.  WHY?  Because it seems one of the most used YET most boring word we can ever hear.  BUT hold on.  CONSISTENCY remains key for us to be dedicated and focused on our goals and for us to remain committed to a specific task OR habit.  CONSISTENCY is one of the most important factors WHEN achieving long-term success.  YES dude, CONSISTENCY is pegged for the long haul📘📙📗

WHETHER it means building routines OR habits, developing our skills OR even maintaining relationships, showing up regularly [WHETHER at the gym OR in church], it will very likely make a huge difference in our success and the success of those we serve, lead OR love. YES, CONSISTENCY is very key to turning goals into lasting habits in ourselves and others.  And it can be incredibly helpful for building habits, achieving our long-term goals OR creating systems that work in our living and working situations.  Think about HOW CONSISTENCY and routines work well in our classroom, office, homes OR communities.  How's the CONSISTENCY of students, workers et al💚💛💜

YES dude, CONSISTENCY is very much closely intertwined to accountability and even growth as the key pillars and foundations for our personal and even professional growth and development.  The more habitual routines become, the less mental energy it takes to maintain them.  And once we establish CONSISTENT routines, we can then direct our focus to other areas that need improvement and our attention.  SO HOW?  Tough question.  YES, we are always advised NOT to be aggressive.  Let's START SMALL, then crescendo.  While some people prefer to tiptoe into a new year like a mouse rather than to roar like a lion, it's tempting to aim for something big, those sweeping changes💧💧💧

True, it's tempting to aim for big, sweeping changes BUT CONSISTENCY is easier to maintain with small, manageable key changes  WHICH reminds me of the tale of the tortoise and the hare WHERE 'slow and steady' won the race.  YES, the tortoise represented patience and hard work WHILE the hare represented arrogance and carelessness.  The hare was so cocky that he decided to to take a nap before finishing the race💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  SO HOW?  Experts always remind us to create a routine by setting specific goals.  Vague resolutions like the 'healthier' OR 'get in shape' are hard to track.  Make goals clear and measurable so that progress can be observed  And if you hope to get in shape, then create a routine of lifting weights for 20 minutes every other day OR walking 30 minutes each day.  And if you want to be healthier, swap your chips for protein OR eat a fruit OR vegetable with every meal.  Lastly, let us track our progress.  And DON'T forget to celebrate even your 'small wins' as long as CONSISTENCY is embedded in your regimen😗😗😗

Directions Hinge On Our Decisions

 

WHO says CONDITIONS, DIRECTIONS and DECISIONS are all rolled into one?  Somehow they are rolled into one BUT let's be clear on one thing.  Each of these three variables are 'individual islets', so to speak.  And there's a huge difference between CONDITIONS versus DIRECTIONS versus DECISIONS.  WHEREAS let's NOT be even daydreaming to control CONDITIONS [because that's way beyond our control] WHEREAS for DIRECTIONS, YES YES yowwwww, that we can control💜💛💚

All throughout our life, our journey is and will always be peppered with DECISIONs, like it OR NOT.  Long way back, WHEN I was very raw player out in the market, I [wrongly] thought then that I would have made all of the big DECISIONS BUT fast forward, I learned the hard way, that important choices will have to be made at each phase of our life, NOT that Big Bang kind of thing.  There are junctures all along our life's journey WHERE we will have to decide WHICH way to go and the crossroads of life have one too many enormous consequences we need to face☝☝☝

NOW, let's dice and drill things.  There are one too many things that we could do and then, there is/are the thing[s] you need to do [and NOT ignore OR skip it].  And if we want to have the results that meet our expectations, we need to map those expectations simply because every step matters, including the smallest, tiniest step we need to take.  BTW, we CAN'T and should NOT miss a single step at all!!!

No less than famous American motivational coach and author Tony Robbins was famously quoted:  OUR LIFE IS CONTROLLED NOT BY OUR CONDITIONS BUT BY OUR DECISIONS.  WHENEVER YOU LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, YOU WANT TO ASK YOURSELF 'WHY IS MY LIFE THE WAY IT IS RIGHT NOW'?  And Tony Robbins is spot on, on this.  And as we speak now, can we look back through our respective journeys in the past to realize that seemingly minor DECISIONS could be that impactful as well💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  This is no rocket science but ironically, many of us get clobbered [sometimes 'buried under an avalanche'] because there is this frustrating human nature WHEREIN we refuse to even recognize those small, tiny-whiny pebbles on the road WHICH we can step and slip [albeit with no serious concern] BUT a few miles down the road, we would realize our slippage, our shortfall, our shortcomings.  YES dude, WHAT awakens us from that deep slumber is WHEN there's a huge rock that falls on us, leaving us with NO recourse BUT to scratch our head and regret we ignored those small and minor slippages in the past.  Verily true, DIRECTIONS HINGE ON OUR DECISIONS dude😌😌😌

Accepting Things As They Are

 

With all hands on deck, I bet we can secure a 100% consensus that ACCEPTING THINGS AS THEY ARE is the most difficult thing to do [and I'm referring to failures, incidents, tragedies, frustrations, name it.  And almost everyone of us, regardless of our faith or religion, surely a good majority would pray that there's likely something happening that you wish, deep down in your bones WASN'T happening OR was unfolding in a different way.  And lifting from the pages of the experts, there's one key attribute that matters most💧💧💧

And as per the experts, one of the 'foundational principles' of mindfulness is ACCEPTANCE and every expert concurs that it is one of the most difficult phases to navigate in any one's life.  As life is a full of situations that SHOULDN'T be the way they are, sometimes we can fix those situations BUT sometimes we CAN'T.  Accepting things as they are in a powerful way to cope with situations that you DON'T want OR that SHOULDN't happen.  Indeed, many things in life are beyond our control.  Obvious examples are that chronic traffic, 'mother nature' and even the untimely death of a loved one, things we DON'T want OR need to happen BUT by nature, they are just bound to happen💥💥💥

Sometimes [and I'd say, many times], people try to gain that semblance of control by trying to make changes, even if they are unlikely to help.  Other times, people would attempt to regain the feeling of control by simply ignoring as to WHAT is really happening [ouchhhh].  The sad plight here is that trying to change something we CAN'T [or DENYING it] only leads to more exacerbated pain and suffering, sadly😡😡😡

Again, ACCEPTING THINGS AS THEY ARE means to let go of your expectations of HOW things should be.  Instead, let us allow things to be WHAT they are.  BUT I'll play devil's advocate here.  WHY is ACCEPTANCE so important?  Firstly, trying to change reality is a battle we're guaranteed to lose.  Thereafter, that leads to the feelings of bitterness, anger and sadness, sometimes all rolled into one.  Secondly, acceptance will allow us to to recognize and face the actual problem.  This can allow for problem-solving.  LIKE if you're unhappy in your career,it is impossible to make changes before we face reality of our current situation.  And denying reality will prevent us from problem-solving and may lead to more consequences, and in that case, you can be assured of more years of dissatisfaction with your career, ouchhh.  Lastly, accepting thing as they are leads us toward a sense of peace and calm💚💛💜

Our takeaway:  I've witnessed first hand and up close numerous instances WHEN someone DIDN'T ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE.  And allow me to share what were the ramifications and consequences I did bear witness in those exceptions:

• Most of their situations turned from BAD to WORSE
• And as things worsened, their willpower significantly waned
• And before they knew it, thing 'went south' as swift as it went
• And the more things worsened, the more they got stuck & stalled
• And with their back against the wall, their options at hand dwindled and as pressure was building up right in front, at the rear and from all sides, they realized they were hapless and helpless

Insight here, IF and WHEN your best option is to ACCEPT THINGS, take that pill, even if's hard to swallow because that too shall pass and later [if NOT sooner], you'll be over the hump😄😄😄