Mobile Apps Galore!

 

YES YES yowwww, let's make things light today.  HOW many mobile apps do you have in your smart device?  Probably a hundred?  Or 150?  Or 200+?  Possibly.  Now for the NOT so tough question.  HOW many apps do you actively use AS IN actively?  Probably a baker's dozen give OR take away another 3 to 5 dynamic needs.  YET, with that huge number of apps, can we explain that with all the task/deadline reminders, we're still missing out📗📙📘

Missing out a scheduled Zoom/Google Meet call.  Missing to pay bills by deadline.  Missing out to buy the MUST-HAVEs at the supermarket.  Let me share something trivial here.  At one point, before I knew it, my iPhone was hosting roughly 150+ mobile apps, whew When I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, would you believe I managed to prune it down to more OR less 15 mobile apps now?  WHAT a relief indeed💚💛💜

HOLY HELL!  Let me share you the outcome of that massive cleanup.    My productivity rate ramped up.  My misses were down by 90%.  BTW, I DIDN'T even measure the turnaround and elapsed time as I DIDN'T do a 'time and motion' benchmarking.  Before we become guilty, the brutal truth about productivity is that we are NOT unproductive OR disorganized.  Instead, we are simply 'apps-hoarding'.  Remember that meditation app you downloaded yet you overslept till past 8am?  And your SCREEN TIME😈😈😈

SO HOW?  Will you scour the AppsStore for another TO-DO app?  OR another app luring you to ADD to BASKET and CHECKOUT?  Hell no.  Looking back NOT too far back WHEN we DIDN'T had these monstrous number of mobile apps, WHEN we were all contented with Candy Crush OR even from the olden days, Tetris, ISN'T it that life was simple, more straightforward and yet we were as productive and as efficient as we should be during those days💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  SO HOW can we live life with LESS?  LESS screen time?  LESS apps?              bandwidth?  I remember before WHEN I was staying at a plush Mumbai hotel [WHICH I called 'home' for 11 months], I was connecting to the internet via a 64kb modem connection?  And yet, even as a road warrior then, I was like [virtually] everywhere across the 14 countries I was managing then.  Without being intrusive, please do take time to assess percentage of usefulness [and frequency of use] even BEFORE you download a mobile apps [before you end up decluttering all over again😡😡😡

Move Like Everything's Gonna Work Out

 

In the stock market, the normal stock watcher cum player would keep a consistent tracker when it's a BEAR market as against a BULL market WHERE the latter is characterized by optimism among investors thereby pushing up the prices.  This is NO rocket science BUT simply another manifestation of the LAW OF SUPPLY & DEMAND.  BUT wait WHEN the stock prices NOT only take a dip BUT manifest nosediving because that's WHEN investors would jump into the fray.  BUT hold on, our thread today is NOT STOCKS 101 [because I am no trader] BUT let's draw the parallelism in life WHEN sometimes we are egged to MOVE LIKE EVERYTHING's GONNA WORK OUT [that's regardless if it's a BEAR or BULL market]📗📙📘

WHILE I am NO gym buff, I guess once you walk into a Fitness Gym, your adviser will counsel you to START it and STICK to it.  Of course, making exercise as an enjoyable part of our  everyday life may seem easier than we think.  BUT up front, WHATEVER endeavor you will dive into [YES even in areas you are passionate enough], starting things off will offer you challenges up front.  That's WHEN we'll hear MOVE LIKE EVERYTHING'S GONNA WORK OUT💚💛💜

If you're having trouble to begin a new activity OR endeavor you're following through, you're NOT alone though.  Let's admit it, many of us [and that includes me sometime in the past], we do struggle in getting out of that sedentary rut despite our best intentions.  BUT if there's one huge miss most of us are guilty, it is figuring out as to WHY we're faced with those mounting challenges right at the start of a new endeavor we want to pursue.  My 2-cents?  I strongly feel that our biggest barrier up front is our mental piece, our mindset.  Maybe it's a lack of self-confidence that keeps us from taking positive steps OR our motivation quickly flames out OR we simply easily feel discouraged and ending up to give up so soon even before you start off on a new endeavor.  Sounds familar?  Seriously, I've witnessed that kind of mindset zillions of times till now.  And I commiserate with folks WHO are in that 'deep shit' [pardon my words]💧💧💧

SO HOW?  That's the thing, WHEN we look up at things, if we continue to embrace that "ALL OR NOTHING' attitude, then, sadly, forever, we will be like the swinging pendulum, ending up either on the far left OR far right.  Much as we are imperfect, we hate to fumble at the firing line, at the start.  BUT hey, everyone of us WHO went through from pre-school up the academic ladder, many of us fumbled down up front.  I remember WHEN I was out of job in Singapore after my previous company was bought lock, stock and barrel by U.S. giant Broadcom, I only had to 2 options, namely, to continue motivated OR simply give up.  BUT I told myself, giving up was and will NEVER be an option.  Fast-forward, I was the last man standing [even WHEN my chips went down]💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Go by your gut dude.  IF it tells you 'GO', then 'GO'.  If tons of things are causing you to chicken out up front, listen and follow your gut dude.  BTW, this is NO fool-proof formula.  You can still follow your GUT feel and still go wrong BUT if the stakes are right there, WON'T you bet on yourself rather than bet on your shadow lurking behind you?  Yes, let's MOVE LIKE EVERYTHING'S GONNA WORK OUT dude😡😡😡

That Pygmalion Effect

 

That psychological phenomenon called PYGMALION EFFECT has been in place for more than 3 decades BUT I still find it interesting enough [if NOT mysterious] because this is NOT much cascaded across at least for awareness.  For alignment, as described Rosenthal and Jacobson in 1968, PYGMALION EFFECT refers to those circumstances WHERE higher expectations will LIKELY result in better performance OR results.  We could hear those narratives of folks WHO ended up with superior academic results through the years and WHILE credit goes to them [primarily], their mentors [and normally its their parents OR guardians] should be shared a fraction of those credits if they expected much from their mentees📙📘

Essentially, WHEN our teachers expect more from us as students, we should thank them because there is a good likely that we will end up with better results.  NOT to badmouth OR discriminate government schools [especially in the Third World WHERE the governments are giving out the best possible services BUT obviously those government schools can NOT just approximate the quality of education offered by private educational institutions], it should NOT be surprising if more often, we would hear the products from private schools with outstanding results!!!

Simply put, the PYGMALION EFFECT is like a self-fulfilling prophecy WHEREIN the objects [meaning, the targetted individuals] of projections internalize the optimistic labels they receive and succeed to conform to those labels.  This implies that saguine expectations on the part of either the mentor OR leader could lead to improved performance by either the mentees OR the leader's followers💚💛💜

There was this 1968 experiment by Rosenthal WHO tested the IQ of school student WHO were identified as respondents in the experiment.  After the IQ tests, the teachers were given the names of those 'intellectual bloomers' BUT their scores were NOT shared.  At the end of the school year, all the students retook the IQ test and while the overall scores did rise, those 'intellectual bloomers' produced the highest results😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  BUT WHAT perflexes me is, should we be tough taskmasters and mentors to our mentees & students?  A key tenet in the PYGMALION EFFECT is that the expectations of others on us can eventually influence our behavior in a significant way.  Without discriminating other cultures, let's single out cultures WHO are highly disciplined like the Japanese.  Despite all the debacles they suffered from World War II, 50 years later, they are on Tier-1 in terms of competitiveness in the First World.  Indeed, I'll buy hook, line and sinker that PYGMALION EFFECT✅✅✅

Those HARD Days? Bring It On Today [If We Want An EASIER Tomorrow]!

 

LAST CALL:  Any wishful thinking?  Oh yea, I want an EASY life, in fact, the EASIEST way possible.  Kinda DIY.  Kinda plug and play.  Kinda instant.  And all of that with the LEAST effort, LEAST cost, LEAST turnaround time. Whoahhhhh.  That's asking for the moon, the stars and the solar system!@#$%?  Please DON'T get me wrong.  I'm NOT haranguing anyone of us.  And seriously, by default, that does NOT seem to be our fault because as the experts tell us that by nature, the human brain REALLY likes to avoid those HARD things, HARD tasks, HARD goals.  I came across that 'COGNITIVE MISER' theory WHICH explains that from the beginning of the homo sapiens evolution, our brains have been trained to take that PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE💥💥💥

I got curious with that fact WHICH I doubted at first BUT the explanation was that we preferred that PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE because it was necessary for survival.  LIKE WHEN our ancestors lived in the wild, conserving energy was crucial.  They had to hunt and search for food, even fight rivals and escape predators.  One false move and the result could be as tragic as death.  Fast forward to our life today WHERE our world is a thousand times much safer [compared to those ancestral times].  BUT alas, our brain HASN'T changed much since those hunter-gatherer days.  Alas, we're still stuck in that Stone Age!@#$%? Does that theory hold water?  Me thinks that's air-tight💧💧💧

Does that explain as to WHY we humans often prefer that PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE, that with the LEAST efforts etc?  So, should we then blame that theory of evolution if we find it hard to get off the couch and go on with your next priority task?  OR during those times WHEN we procrastinate on those difficult tasks, putting it OFF for the next day, next week until it gets buried under the bushel of oblivion?  OR WHEN we find ourselves doing things we most like, sleeping, eating junk, scrolling Instagram, browsing through the online shopping portals to make those impulse purchases, or binge-watching in Netflix!@#$%?

There's this very debatable argument that we should put off doing the HARD things towards the later part because early on, the engine is cold and we need to gain that momentum.  Whewwww, tell that to the marines dude!@#$%?  Guess WHO OR WHAT is our biggest stumbling block here?  YES, it is our own self.  Deep inside, our favorite one-liners are:

• OH I'M JUST AFRAID TO START IT
• OH LET ME THINK ABOUT IT FIRST
• OH THAT TAKES UP TOO MUCH TIME
• OH I'M AFRAID I'M NOT BE ABLE TO DO IT NOW
• OH I'VE GOT TO GAIN STEAM & MOMENTUM FIRST

Our takeaway:  As that old cliche goes, IT'S TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC.  If that music may NOT be your favorite one OR it's NOT in your playlist BUT if your audio player CAN'T fast-forward from the 1st song to the 4th song [WHICH is your favorite], then, so be it, play up every song until you got to play your favorite 4th song.  SO HOW?  Would you rather do things the EASY way now and simply face the problem come next day?  C'mon dude, that train of thought seems skewed and slanted if NOT outright outrageous.  Think about it.  Here you are.  Just like a fully recharged smartphone battery, your strength is at 100%.  Would you want to tackle the HARD DAYS tomorrow instead of today?  THOSE HARD DAYS?  BRING IT ON TODAY [IF WE WANT AN EASIER TOMORROW]✅✅✅

Is Positivity Contagious Enough?

 

Is POSITIVITY CONTAGIOUS ENOUGH?  Absolutely yes it is!  YET, sometimes I do hear from some quarters as they seem to frown on POSITIVITY as they will claim someone looks and seems POSITIVE because he's driving a new car, because he recently got promoted at work, because they moved in to their new home, because he's awash with $$$$$$$.  From their perspective, I would tend to agree with them but I'll qualify my concurrence.  That POSITIVITY will be very fleeting and dependent only on the very moments those 'POSITIVE' elements come into your life.  Trust me, your promotion makes you feel WALK ON CLOUD 9 but only maybe the first few days and weeks, NOT 12 months down the road.  That new spanking car, 12 or more months after, that feeling of 'newness'  would have dissipated in thin air.  Your new home, oh yes that 'honeymoon' feeling will be over, count Year 2 onwards.  So, if you will cling to those, IS POSITIVITY CONTAGIOUS ENOUGH???

True, there is that SCIENCE of HAPPINESS BUT it should NOT be rocket science for us to figure out the genuine and longer-lasting factors that can farther stretch our HAPPINESS to an extent that it becomes genuine enough.  BTW, please be cautious WHEN it comes to POSITIVITY.  Not every shade of brightness can be deemed as genuinely POSITIVE.  I've known first hand people WHO were so extremely optimistic to bag the top prize of a BMW car if they can maximize entries in a contest sponsored by a Telco to encourage its customers to TOP-UP and TOP-UP over and over again!@#$%?

That is WHAT psychologists have coined as the FALSE POSITIVES.  It's true a POSITIVE mindset is essential for handling the problems and hurdles on our paths.  WHETHER at home, school OR work, it's true we are encouraged to be POSITIVE at all times.  You may even be telling others to stay POSITIVE and see the glass as half-full.  True, encouraging POSITIVITY is generally a nice gesture BUT at times it can cause more harm than good❌❌❌

Point is, POSITIVITY is an attitude that depends on the context.  Therefore, its misapplication may lead to FALSE POSITIVITY.  WHEN the situation warrants, there is simply nothing wrong with a positive outlook WHEN a situation warrants.  YET, there are times of genuine sadness OR distress that are simply NOT compatible with an overly optimistic attitude, especially, WHEN that attitude seems forced.  In short, that's misplaced optimism❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  WHAT's essential is for us to be able to distinguish genuine POSITIVITY from false POSITIVITY.  Some people are naturally optimistic and can see the POSITIVE aspects of any situation OR be inclined to use their NEGATIVE experiences as learning opportunities.  And the truth is, regardless if WHETHER we are more optimistic than others OR NOT, a genuine POSITIVE attitude can help us deal with difficulties.  WHETHER POSITIVITY is contagious enough, let us be sharp and incisive that such POSITIVITY is NOT misplaced😡😡😡

Why Are We So Locked-in With WORRYING?

 

Worries anyone?  Of course we do WORRY as and WHEN.  BUT experts tell us that WORRYING is a woeful misuse of the imagination.  YES it might seem as though running obsessively over our life challenges in our heads is, in some way, are indeed helpful BUT the reality is, it NEVER is.  Let's look at our very own selves.  HOW many times did we WORRY in life through the years.  Surely it's a lot, AS IN.  BUT think about it, after all your WORRYING, did the world actually change?  IF there were changes, I would dare to say that physically and/or mentally, I felt worse than prior to that WORRYING saga.  WHAT's our take here:  WORRYING has a role and a purpose and it is to make us LESS effective and MORE anxious.  NOT even less than that.  So, WHY ARE WE SO LOCKED-IN WITH WORRYING???

We may NOT an excessive WORRIER but perhaps, sometimes we unconsciously think that IF we WORRY enough, we can prevent bad thiings from happening???  BUT even medical experts advise us that WORRYING can effect our body in multiple ways that may surprise us laymen.  And WHEN WORRYING does become excessive, it can lead to feelings of high anxiety and may even cause us to be physically ill.  The $64 question is WHAT really happens with excessive WORRYING???

Studies have shown that excessive WORRYING may be the very vehicles for one to end up with high anxiety OR worse, even panic [even during waking hours].  Various studies had chronic WORRIERS as respondents confirm of feeling that sense of 'impending doom' OR even unrealistic fears that only exacerbated their WORRIES.  YES, we DON'T need to be psychologists to agree that WORRYING really interferes through our life, and even if the impact is superficial, the severity can be anything bad or even worse💧💧💧

Multiple studies showed that many people WHO excessively WORRY are so anxiety-ridden so much so that they end up seeking relief in those harmful lifestyle habits such as overeating, smoking OR worse, even alcohol and drugs.  And while anxiety is defined as a normal reaction to stress, ongoing anxiety though, may be the result of a disorder such as generalized anxiety disorder or worse, panic disorder❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Please DON'T get me wrong.  Normal WORRYING is perfectly fine.  LIKE WHEN I first joined the jobmarket fray straight from university.  LIKE WHEN I was going through a battery of recruitment tests, both written and verbals.  LIKE WHEN I first became a part of a true-blue MNC organization.  LIKE WHEN a NOT a brand-new car literally fell into my lap WHEN my office colleague cajoled me to take on and assume his ongoing car loan with our company.  LIKE WHEN I decided to take the risk of flying off to Singapore incognito to eventually become a naturalized citizen there.  All those situations made we WORRIED enough.  BUT WHY ARE WE SO LOCKED-IN WITH WORRYING???

Yes, The Fish Rots From The Head Down

This idiom "THE FISH ROTS FROM THE HEAD DOWN" is purportedly as old and dating back as far back as the 1600s.  BUT there has been NO consensus WHETHER this originated from the Greeks, Turks, Chinese or elsewhere.  Regardless, let's make the most of it, the fact that this idiom does exists.  Of course, biologists are the first to disagree that the fish head gets rotten first because they argue, it is the intestinal system of the first that first gets rotten.  For now, let's agree that the FISH ROTS FROM THE HEAD DOWN📘📙📗

Regardless, it has become a very common metaphor that we hear from time to time.  With just one too many examples to rattle off.  Let's start off with countries.  WHERE the Head of State OR Government does NOT run the state of affairs as he is expected to be, the whole country could run aground.  A giveaway example is North Korea [BUT we WON'T politicize that farther].  Let's look back at corporate organizations that have collapsed.  NOKIA [although they are trying to 'rise back from the dead for now'].  Kodak.  Enron.  PanAm.  Oh yes, even that old family favorite Polaroid.  Swiss Air.  Arthur Andersen.  Yes, even WorldCom.  BUT if they share one commonality, we'll go back to the idiom that the FISH ROTS FROM THE HEAD DOWN, unfortunately💧💧💧

Enough of those conglomerates.  Let's zoom-in deep enough into our lives.  HOW many family-related problems could have caused or presipitated the breakups of families?  And without pointing fingers as EACH STORY IS UNIQUE, yet it's inevitable that we look up at that idiom again, that the FISH ROTS FROM THE HEAD DOWN.  If we look for the parallelism whether it's the country's state of affairs, the corporate goings-on OR the personal/family circumstances, it is fairly effortless and very non-argumentative to posit that IF ONLY the 'HEAD' of a country, corporation OR a family is good enough, then there is a fairly good chance failures are averted💥💥💥

We can even look at organizations on a smaller scale.  It could be the school's PARENTS-TEACHERS Association or the neighborhood's HOMEOWNERS Association.   After a year OR so, we could hear allegations and brickbats coming from both sides of the fence, blaming each of the key players LIKE:  Things were running smoothly WHEN our organization was headed by Mr John XXX.  BUT with our incumbent prexy, sadly, HE CAN'T HOLD OUR TEAM TOGETHER, hence this chaos OR confusion causing our group to run aground much like the great Titanic ship suddenly facing that tragic end.  And the common refrain we would hear from so many wannabes, IF ONLY our team was headed by Mr John etc.  IF ONLY the head of the family DIDN'T go astray.  One too many WHAT IFs❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  To be fair and just, let us NOT shoot out premature and baseless judgments solely based on innuendoes, hearsay and at best, half-truths because more often than NOT, it TAKES 2 TO TANGO.  There are NO tyrants WHERE there are NO slaves.  THERE are NO villains WHERE there are NO victims.  As it is, we are always the reminded that there are 3 sides of a narrative.  HIS version.  HER version and the legitimate version.  At the end, we run a full circle back to the idiom that the FISH ROTS FROM THE HEAD DOWN😡😡😡

If Only We Listen More [And Talk Less?]?

 

From almost every region in the world [except at the Nordic Region WHERE they remain as calm and as peaceful ever], everywhere else there's either a brewing problem OR problems itself have exacerbated into full-blown conflicts.  Taiwan Straits.  Ukraine. Yemen.  Pakistan.  India.  Cambodia-Thailand Border.  And of course the latest hotspot being Iraq and the Gaza Strip WHERE Palestine is📗📙📘

Oh yes, we're not even dipping into the icy cold relationships between the U.S. versus that axis of China and Russia. Anyways, I am no expert in Geopolitics so we WON'T talk about it.  At hindsight though, I thought that much of all these conflicts are happening because there's too much blah-blah-blah from the opposite sides of each fence.  If only those protagonists spent more time LISTENING???

Think about it, would you agree that probably our global village will be less conflicted if parties spent more time LISTENING rather than indulge in all the bluster and posturing?  That's the thing even in our every day life.  The human frailty is that more often than NOT, we prefer to talk and talk BUT WHEN the other party starts to talk, many of our eardrums seem to shut off.  WHICH is regrettable WHEN it does happen😡😡😡

Up close, I've known people WHO are giftted with the gab, so WHEN it happens you're with them, give them the floor, and they will go on and on.  WHEN finally they pull to a stop, once you start saying your piece, your supposed listener is so embroiled in his/her smartphone AS IF that device is receiving a 999 call alert BUT the truth is, there are folks WHO are NOT just poor LISTENERS BUT are non-LISTENERS💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  My wishful thinking is that our global villages are populated with more ACTIVE LISTENERs than those gifted with the gab.  Please note that I'm intentionally pegging my wish for ACTIVE LISTENERs [and NOT just LISTENERs] because, like the Red Sea, there is a huge divide between an ACTIVE LISTENER versus a PASSIVE one.  BTW, there are more PASSIVE LISTENERs [that includes folks WHO are talking to you and YET, they are literally glued and engaged on their smartphone.  Haist, IF ONLY WE LISTEN MORE [and TALK LESS]💚💛💜

Tough Times DON'T Last [BUT Tough People Do]

 

This one-liner 'TOUGH TIMES DON'T LAST BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO' has been true 99% of the time BUT WHAT is unsaid here is the fact that those TOUGH TIMES do take its toll even on the toughest person.  We've seen OR witnessed world-class and very competitive sportsmen WHO are in deep trainings prior to a fight OR contest ONLY TO LOSE in that contest.  In the post-mortem, the defeated competitor then admits that prior to that fight OR contest, he was bothered with internal problems [e.g. law suits being filed against him] and that impacted NOT just his mental health BUT his state of mind.  Of course, a devil's advocate will blurt out that that's an excuse and alibi no less.  BUT during those 'down moments', can we give him the benefit of the doubt???

Surely, WHEN it comes to life, we can have blanket guarantees that TOUGH TIMES will come [if it has NOT hit you yet].  That's a reality every single person has to go through in life [and that lincludes scions of the rich and famous WHO were born with a silver spoon in their mouth.  BUT WHAT separates the people WHO make it through those TOUGH TIMES and those WHO DON'T is HOW they handle things during those trying times.  And the people WHO make it through are the ones we can tag as TOUGH [if NOT TOUGH enough].  One misconception about TOUGHNESS is that they are OR seem to be immune from the pain that goes with it.  NO sirrrrs, being TOUGH DOESN'T mean you WON'T go through THAT pain, THAT you DON'T stumble, THAT you DON'T shed tears, THAT you DON'T agonize.  Being TOUGH means NEVER GIVING UP even during those times💥💥💥

As there is no simple formula for being TOUGH, we are always told to keep pushing forward even WHEN it feels like there is NO point, even WHEN it looks like an effort that will become futile [because HOW sure are we that your attempt will fail?].  WHAT should keep us going is to inculcate this real hard fact:  THOSE TOUGH TIMES will NOT last forever.  And if you are conscious enough that you are TOUGH, that should be a shot in your arm and in your confidence that you will make it through!!!

SO HOW?  If there is a LESSON #1 I learned early in life, it is to consistently embrace my inner strength during those TOUGH TIMES as I can attest that in at least 90% of those trying times, it did help me get through those TOUGH TIMES and at the end of the road, I remained standing [albeit bruised, black and blue] BUT very much standing on my own feet.  True, those trying times did test my innermost foundations, and I realized then that if there is one power I had then, it was the power to choose HOW should I react to those TOUGH TIMES, which means, I could let it defeat myself OR use it as a platform to be stronger and more resilient in the face of it.  Heard of narratives WHEN flash floods hit a residential community, one family member was able to carry out from the floods all by himself the refrigerator BUT after the floods, he was surprised HOW he did it😗😗😗

Our takeaway:  In the midst of trying times, do allow yourself to feel WHATEVER emotions would surface BUT DON'T get stuck in them.  That huge faux pas happened to me once in the past as I then started to beat up myself for feeling down, allowing [I'll say I was condoning] myself to dwell on the negative thoughts hovering all over me then. WHILE trusting that you will eventually get through those TOUGH TIMES, coming out stronger on the other side will need you to summon all your remaining energies and positivity because TOUGH TIMES DON'T LAST BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO💚💛💜

Does Time Heal The Wounds?

 

DOES TIME HEAL THE WOUNDS?  Everyone of us did experience pain, disappointment, heartbreak, OR even one level of trauma OR another.  WHO did not anyways?  And well-meaning people will assure us that that pain will eventually fade with time.  That proposition has been shot down many times by experts WHO claim that that's untrue and no less than a fallacy.  WHY?  Because there is NO evidence that time heals wounds!@#$%?

WHAT is of common understanding is that time indeed helps in healing the wounds.  Everyone is a first-hand witness HOW time has become a factor in healing wounds.  BUT WHO will claim that time alone heals those wounds?  All the experts will scream and howl that NO WAY time heals on its own, never at all.  First of, the nature of the wound OR pain can affect as to HOW time influences the healing process.  In one study, researchers found that time did have an effect on whether people were willing to forgive an interpersonal transgression.  As time passed, people became more likely to forgive, suggesting that time played a role in healing that hurt.  BUT numerous researches proved as well that time alone does NOT heal the wounds.  In one study, bereaved people had high levels of prolonged grief even one to two years after the death of a loved one💥💥💥

The bigger and lingering question was WHAT was time's actual role in healing those wounds?  Psychologists wanted to equate time to an opportunity such that how someone heals over time ultimately depends on HOW they decide to use that opportunity to shape their present and even future circumstances.  LIKE people can use time to gain insights, have a healthier relationship and a more positive orientation leaning towards growth [instead of that 'stagnation' WHEN we observe that to people WHO are facing that enormous difficulty of overcoming grief, pain OR trauma.  In the end, some successful case studies proved that people would use time as an opportunity to collect experiences that orient them toward their values and dilute OR challenge difficult experiences!!!

Those positive orientations could be, amongst others, connecting with well-meaning friends, developing new relationships [NOT necessarily romantic ones], or push themselves to get engaged in activities WHICH they will find to be rewarding and helpful enough in their 'healing process'.  In a nutshell, TIME and TIME itself will and cannot guarantee that wounds will be fully healed.  Instead, we've got to reorient ourselves, if possible, redefine the 'rules of engagement' that can keep us keenly interested and engaged until you realize that you're over the hump [BUT a word of caution here, this WON'T happen overnight]❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  One trap that can turn a bad situation to a worse one is RUMINATION WHEN reflection does NOT integrate thought and emotion.  Clinical experts defined RUMINATION as usually ALL emotion OR ALL thought.  Whereas, a healthy reflection integrates both the emotion and the thought to help us gain new inroads towards grasping and achieving a much better clarity in our healing process.  So, DOES TIME HEAL WOUNDS?  Partly YES BUT never depend on time because it is you WHO will drive things to heal💖💖💖