Going The Distance.....

 

Heard being advised to GO THE DISTANCE?  Rarely, right?  Even WHEN a first-time marathoner joins the famed Boston Marathon, rarely he's counselled to GO THE DISTANCE.  NO sirrrs, I'm NOT referring either to that 2010 Drew Barrymore movie.  BUT instead, we'd like to tackle HOW is it GOING THE DISTANCE in our life journey.  Are we on it?  OR do we need some hard-selling for this pitch???

Much similar to the literal marathon races we see, to GO THE DISTANCE in life may seem so simple, akin to just putting one foot in front of the other.  BUT as real marathons and road races have shown, it's crystal clear that it's more than just preparing for those grueling tests of endurance.  Even way beyond crafting a training plan that includes nutrition and stamina!!!

Swinging over to our life marathons, for us to GO THE DISTANCE, it covers amongst others handling muscle fatigue, even mental obstacles and even proactively reducing our vulnerability for potential injury.  Such it is in life as well.  There will be more rough patches than smooth stretches.  BUT the stark reality is a good number of us easily give up way too early in our own life marathons💚💛💜

The thing is, we CAN'T simply wake up one morning and make up our mind that we're in it, in that life-long marathon.  Much akin to the real marathon preparations, our so called training plans in life slowly build mileage day-by-day, week-by-week and peaking WHEN we hit one rough patch after another.  And WHEN that pressure builds up in us, that frequently becomes the TIPPING POINT, WHERE boys get separated from men, WHERE sprinters get differentiated versus marathoners😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  If I may add to the doses of advice by professional coaches, MORE than just the sheer energy + stamina, one ingredient that is a MUST-HAVE is that etched commitment that gets embedded for the long haul, embedding it UNCONDITIONALLY regardless of the roughest waters in the high seas our boat might face.  YES dude, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT GOING THE DISTANCE💥💥💥

LIKE Attracts LIKE

 

NO sirrrrrrs, our thread today "LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE" does NOT make reference to the social media LIKEs many of us have been so smittened, for lack of a better adjective.  Rather, we'd like to dip into the LAW of ATTRACTION, that age-old philosophy that suggests that by focusing our desires and emotions, we can attract similar energy, opportunities and even outcomes and results in our life [regardless if that pertains to health, wealth OR even relationships].  To be clear, the LAW of ATTRACTION is NOT considered to be a scientific law BUT rather a spiritual OR pseudoscientific concept that can be practised through best practices and techniques like positive affirmations, visualization and gratitude📗📙📘

Much as there is nothing scientific with regard the LAW of ATTRACTION, it is the idea that positive thoughts attract positive outcomes BUT this has led to raging debates across forums and podcasts as to WHETHER it is really real?  Experts advise that this is more about psychology and mindset than a magical tool for bringing good things into our life.  Briefly, the LAW of ATTRACTION says that similar things attract to one another.  WHICH means, people tend to attract people WHO are similar to them💚💛💜

This explains WHY, over time, we heard this a zillion of times already:  SAME FEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER.  BTW, this does NOT just pertain to the physical looks OR material preferences of people.  Look around and if you are aware of people WHO is more vulnerable OR prone to be have a NEGATIVE inclination, it is likely that by natural default affinity, that person will end up associated with NEGATIVE folks too❎❎❎

There is a notion that has been subject to researches that it is impossible to have a completely empty space in one's mind in our life.  Instead, something will always seem to fill up that vacuum, that space in our mind, in our life.  And since something will always fill that space, it is that imperative tp fill that space with POSITIVITY.  On the other hand, it is widely believed that we can always do things to improve the present moment and WHILE it mighy always seem like the present moment is somewhat flawed. rather than feeling dread OR unhappy, we can focus our energy on finding ways to make the present moment the best that it can be😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  So, WHERE do we start as regards this LAW of ATTRACTION?  NO rocket science here BUT listening to all the best practices around:

• Let's be GRATEFUL 
• Visualize our GOALS
• Look at the POSITIVE side of situations
• Detect that NEGATIVE thinking quickly
• Reframe NEGATIVE events more POSITIVELY

Yes dude, LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE [and I'm NOT referring to Meta's FB]😀😀😀

Others RUINING YOUR DAY? Better NOT!

 

Others RUINING YOUR DAY?  Better NOT.  Verily true, developing solid relationships is one of the most important factors to contribute to success, WHETHER individually OR collectively.  And as we progress in life, our own advancement is in direct correlation with our ability to establish and maintain good relationships.  BUT here are the 'pre-planted land mines' in life.  From time to time, WHETHER it's at work, in school OR just in our daily life, we will encounter 'difficult' people.  Problem here is that the definition of 'DIFFICULT' is relative.  For one, a 'difficult' person WHO's serious, WHO's stiff, WHO's rigid.  For another one, being 'difficult' is tagged to someone WHO's so mean, so evil, so divisive, so aggressive, so combative.  So, we can debate WHAT ruins our day but this could cover multiple perspectives☝☝☝

Thing is, we CAN'T control the actions OR attitudes of others, BUT YES, we can control HOW we react and respond to those WHO seem to get under our skin.  BUT this is NOT a lost and hopeless case because even if we just 'google-search' things, many proven ways as countermeasures and mitigations are right within our finger tips, LIKE we should stop talking about HOW miserable peope are because the more you talk about something, the more life you give it.  There is that adage WHICH says 'NO PRESS is BAD PRESS'😡😡😡

As analyst say in unison, AS LONG AS YOU ARE BEING TALKED ABOUT, YOU ARE STILL CURRENT.  And to translate things, the truth of this statement lies in the fact that if people are talking about you [regardless if it's GOOD or BAD], you are taking up their mental energy.  And WHEN someone irritates you, it feels momentarily good to talk about him and for another person to validate your feelings OR for them to 'feel your pain'.  MISERY DOES LOVE COMPANY, hehehe, so you may tend to seek to find anyone for that matter WHO will listen to HOW infuriating you feel that difficult person is and that momentary pleasure of talking about that 'difficult person' only gives your NEGATIVE emotions more life.  Oh Oh, let's put a stop to giving life to misery, just stop talking about that person❌❌❌

As we heard it sometimes, DON'T give others the permission to RUIN YOUR DAY because before you know it, you will end up doomed.  One approach that has been proven quite successful to most of us is to develop solid relationships NOT just good for the short-term BUT for the long haul.  As we progress in our life, it becomes a direct correlation with our ability to establish and maintain good relationships.  There will be times in school, at work OR in life WHEN we will encounter 'difficult' people, and that's for sure!!!

Our takeaway:  Cardinal truth here is that we CAN'T control the actions OR even attitudes of others [NOT even your spouse/partner or best friend BUT certainly you CAN control HOW you react and respond to those WHO seem to get under your skin.  NOT to throw a monkey wrench on your day, I heard of this before: "If Sheryl has a problem with Joe and Sheryl has a problem with Nancy and Sheryl has a problem with Kate, then most likely Sheryl is the problem".  That's the thing.  It's NOT always a given that there's something wrong with others.  At times, it's me OR it's you WHO's at fault.  If frequently you may have a difficult time with people, that may be an area me OR you would need to work on.  At the end of the day, facing up the mirror, recognizing your flaws and rectifying it may be the FIX you can initiate from your end if only to contain or minimize those frequencies when others seem to be RUINING YOUR DAY.  BETTER NOT!@#$%?

Is That 'HUSTLE CULTURE' Flawed?

 

Is that 'HUSTLE CULTURE' Flawed?  Me thinks so.  NOW, here's a giveaway question:  WHO wants to join the big league of business moguls like Elon Musk, Paul Zuckerberg et al?  Surely, everyone wants to come onboard the bandwagon?  Nope sirs, NOT me.  Much as I WON'T refuse to have such war chests running to multi-billions, if you'll ask me that I need to grind my ass and HUSTLE my way up, NO WAY BOUQUET dude😡😡😡

Please DON'T get me wrong.  I'm NOT shoving away the need for us to HUSTLE and HUSTLE because that's a fact-of-life.  WHAT I'd like to tweak, if I may, is the way HUSTLEs are laid out and executed out in our daily life.  True, we love and embrace workaholics BUT if you're clocking out 12 to 15 hours [almost] everyday, that's atrocious to say the least.  BUT if it's an outlier, like it happens once a month, that's fine, right???

Listening out to podcasts and all those online self-help gurus these days, WHAT do we hear?  HUSTLE HARDER.  WORK SMARTER.  GRIND 24/7. Ouch!  Kill it!!!  They make it sound like success is just a matter of willpower, pushing yourself hard and harder and that LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS is within your reach!!!  Seriously???  Sadly, many of us, especially the vulnerable Generations Z and Alpha, would easily succumb towards buying that mindset❎❎❎

WHAT have we been witnessing with our Gens Z and Alpha?  To a lot of surprise, they spend a huge chunk of their waking hours really working towards their ambitious goals, only to find themselves exhausted, frustrated and sometimes unfulfilled.  BTW, HUSTLE CULTURE promises success BUT it often leads to burnout and disappointment.  WHY?  Experts opine that the truth behind zillions of success stories DON'T come from that relentless grinding we hear and bear witness every day.  Instead, they come from something much deeper and much more sustainable spelled "P-E-R-S-I-S-T-E-N-C-E"😀😀😀

Our takeaway:  Much as I went through the ringers of the HUSTLE CULTURE as well, NOT to scare our readership with this simple BUT huge ASK:  As we bear witness to narratives of people we know as some get hit with health issues [with some of them pushed through the edges as things turn from BAD to WORSE], ISN'T it quite safe to opine that, at the very least, around 50% of that population going through their respective health challenges could have some linkage to the years behind them WHEN they succumbed to the HUSTLE CULTURE???

Are You In A 'HOLDING PATTERN'?

 

Are you in a "HOLDING PATTERN" in life?  I remember quite multiple times I was airborne and our aircraft was in a "HOLDING PATTERN" and for a one-off scenario, I remained oblivious as I remained glued either on the infight movie I was so caught up OR my audio playlist just kept me 'hostaged' that long☝☝☝

In real life, we are gently reminded that that HOLDING PATTERN is our state of being in the moment.  IF you've ever felt anxious in your daily life, LIKE you were waiting for something to happen?  BUT you DIDN'T know exactly WHAT that would be anyways?  YES, been there many times, felt it, got it, from time to time in fact, and even as we speak now, sometimes, I do get caught up with that inevitable HOLDING PATTERN but WHAT matters most is that I [almost always] refused to get 'hostaged' even in the midst of those circumstances.  More than that, I realized that was life in stages💥💥💥

Doing a lookup at the dictionary, it says that the HOLDING PATTERN is a 'state of waiting OR suspended activity OR progress'.  Oh yes, at one point in one of my previous flights, I was too conscious of the aircraft taking the opposite direction away and farther away from the airport we're supposed to land.  And at one point, it made me anxious [as I started thinking of those 'worst case' scenarios like 'is the plane being hijacked'], ouch😡😡😡

So, you might retort like "WHAT's THE FUSS WITH THAT HOLDING PATTERN" in life?  Good question.  Generally and by default, that puts us in that 'suspended state', unable to take action [even as it's NOT within our control].  LIKE those flights in HOLDING PATTERN, once the pilot receives clearance to proceed in landing, life then continues NOT only for the pilot BUT for all the passengers on board.  WHAT a relief by then😁😁😁

Our takeaway here is pretty obvious.  THAT is, many points in our lives are all about WAITING.  This seems to go against everything we are taught in life because life is supposed to play out in 'FORWARD-moving' motion like a process for it to keep progressing.  We move FORWARD to grow older.  We move FORWARD as we are educated.  We move FORWARD in our career.  We move FORWARD with our family.  Dude, ARE YOU STILL IN A 'HOLDING PATTERN'???

Correlation Is Not Causation

 

CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION.  Oh Oh, WHAT a boring thread.  That's the initial reaction I anticipate now.  BUT given me some breathing room to shed light on my side. Firstly, you might wonder, WHAT does this got to do with our daily life?  My quick retort:  A LOT AS IN A LOT.  WHY? Everyday from the time we wake up and even WHEN we're deep asleep, a lot of things are going on and some of it seemingly have its ramifications to us [even WHEN we're asleep].  Seriously😡😡😡 

Let's face it.  Some things happening even at the other side of the globe can have its ramifications even to us across the globe.  WHEN a major Middle East conflict escalates into a full-blown war.  WHEN a major passage way in the international waters gets blockaded.  WHEN there is a supply embargo from an exporting country that impacts the importing country.  WHEN an organization's business performance plummets significantly and unable to recover even after a year.  Name it.  One too many things happening around WHICH can indirectly impact on us😡😡😡

So, WHERE's the beef?  The recurring mix-up happens WHEN some of us get used to [wrongly] believe that CORRELATION equates to CAUSATION.  That WHEN someone catches cold, it's because someone beside OR nearby him sneezed.  That WHEN children underperform in school, it's because their parent-financier WHO's working overseas 10,000 miles away, was NOT consistently providing the financial support in a timely manner.   That WHEN a country's economy nosedives, it's because the U.S. dollar was over-performing.  That WHEN a plurality of a third world country's population struggle in life, it's because they belong to the third world.  That WHEN someone hits the rough patches at work, it's because of an overly tough boss managing with a heavy hand❎❎❎

Truth of the matter, allow me to go back to the fact that CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION.  It's true, there are circumstances that tie-up two things together BUT it's NOT a conclusion that should prevail by default.  Take friendships as a relevant example,  WHY is it that some friendships flounder as fast as they sprouted WHEREAS there are enduring friendships that endure even a lifetime???

Our takeaway:  Much as we can talk about generalities, anything that happens between Tom, Dick and Harry remain unique for the most part.  WHEN Tom succeeds in life, it's NOT because of his close buddy Dick.  And WHEN Harry struggles in life, likely it's NOT because of his affinity to Tom and Dick.  Lesson here is for us to compartmentalize events in our life because more often than NOT, life takes its own course, very much akin to the waters starting from the streams finding their way towards the mouth of river because it goes out to the high seas.  YES dude, CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION😡😡😡

Nelson Mandela: "DON'T JUDGE ME BY MY SUCCESS"

 

Nelson Mandela, the famous South African nationalist and freedom fighter WHO eventually became the first president of South Africa was widely quoted:  "DON'T JUDGE ME BY MY SUCCESSES BUT BY THE NUMBER OF TIMES I FELL AND DID RISE AGAIN".  Problem is, globally cutting across cultures, we are so SUCCESS-focused to an extent that it becomes the 'BE ALL' goal of many people.  People are measured by the amount of SUCCESSes that are visible to our naked eyes, to our awareness.  LIKE he got a sleek, brand-new premium car.  LIKE that sprawling mansion.  LIKE he rose up the organization to become its top honcho.  LIKE he became the country manager of this and that Fortune 500 company📗📙📘

Let's face it, some of us would witness someone's meteoric rise up the corporate ladder, achieving success that may come out to be unparalleled.  For many others, they may be 'late bloomers' [BTW, there is NOTHING wrong with being 'late bloomers']  making and achieving their successes towards the homestretch of their life.  And still, others are perennial success stories, people WHO never cease to see their streak of successes come to an end [OR at least to temporarily stall].  An analogy here are the trees and plants WHICH bear fruit in the early to mid-summer [e.g. peach, strawberries, etc] and there are those WHO bear fruits in the fall [e.g. apples, pears, etc].  On the same breadth, different people are productive at different stages in their respective lives💥💥💥

To be realistic, there are definite advantages of experiencing early successes in life.  YES, it can build that oozing confidence level to last even the rest of your life.  We have seen that with the success stories of the late Steve Jobs, Elon Musk et al.  And, knock on wood, if one's life gets shortened, at least, one has gotten some successes under his/her belt before going up to face his Maker.  YET, not to downplay such advantages, there are obvious downsides LIKE if such successes happen early in life, everything else that follows can be overshadowed and judged and benchmarked against those early successes.  And for many early successes, it can often bring temptations and even pressures for WHICH a young person may NOT be ripe and mature enough to handle😌😌😌

We can look back during our early childhood spent in our elementary schools.  NOT to tear down the huge help of early education to our life BUT the truth is, classrooms are NOT the best barometers as to how a person will end up later in life.  Microsoft founded Bill Gates was a Harvard dropout.  And if we rattle off more dropouts, it is a mile-long list that includes Oprah Winfrey, Former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, Scott Fitzgerald and even John Lennon💚💛💜

Our takeaway:  Allow me to do a mapping of a more palatable apples-to-apples comparison of life with those games in the competitive world of sports where the respective sports have their own clocktimes anywhere between 30 mins to an hour and in the world of boxing, every round is timed around 3 minutes.  Regardless, as the coaches remind their team, the game is won OR lost after, LIKE 4 quarters in a basketball game and NOT on the 1st to 3rd quarters.  Such is life as well.  To quote Nelson Mandela:  "DON'T JUDGE ME BY MY SUCCESS"😡😡😡

Are You Playing The 'LONG GAME'?

 

How often have we heard that we should be PLAYING THE LONG GAME?  For many of us, hearing the LONG GAME seems the most daunting words to hear.  And instead of pointing the blame on ourselves, I'll blame it to the RAT RACE where we are all in.  YESSSSSS, that RAT RACE is a much more punishing race than the traditional Boston Marathon.  So, WHATs the upsides of PLAYING THE LONG GAME???

Over time, PLAYING THE LONG GAME has been applied to a hodge-podge of aspects in our life, both personal and professional.  We PLAY A LONG GAME WHEN we're building up trust in our relationships.  Of course, we heard of relationships that happened WHEN a couple met and got to know each other in a bar one Friday night and by the time they picked up the check, there was mutuality as to WHAT happens next.  So, NOT to cast aspersions in that setting, allow me to ask a very speculative question:  How far will that couple go in life if everything seemed 'instant'???

As children, we were wired for SHORT-TERM pleasure and satisfaction.  We CAN'T blame our elders because traditionally, that's HOW children are reared, with lots of things that will brighten the days of children within the SHORT-TERM, and many times in an instant.  True, our needs are often intense and immediate, crying for our next meal helps us survive, in fact.  BUT PLAYING THE LONG GAME???

The thing is, PLAYING THE LONG CAME needs to be pegged to our long-term thinking, learned over time as our perspective broadens until we are able to see the benefits with an apples-to-apples comparison, LIKE saving money for a cool toy rather than spending it on candy.  And then, let's give credit WHERE credit is due and that's our parents no less WHO taught us that lesson by helping us to visualize the rewards that's to come, yes that's the toy, as a result of the decision to forget the candy.  According to psychologists, that perspective requires the development of two traits namely PATIENCE and IMAGINATION.  Both are in short supply in children and even teenagers.  YES, both PATIENCE and IMAGINATION come with maturity although admittedly plenty of adults still struggle on this😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Summarizing the least obvious reason for PLAYING THE LONG GAME, it means paying a small price today to make OR achieve tomorrow in a much more straightforward and simpler manner.  YES, as adults, PLAYING THE LONG GAME can help us get through many tough OR challenging times in life, especially WHEN tomorrow's tomorrow seems quite still far away by connecting to our own purpose.  For brevity, PLAYING THE LONG GAME means hanging in there WHEN we hit bumps in the road [in our relationships].  So, let's NOT argue if PLAYING THE LONG GAME is the way to go because that's stating the obvious dude!!!

Getting Out Of Our Head [And Head Out]

 

Is it true that sometimes [and for outliers, many times], we're stuck deep into our head?  FACT CHECK:  True.  And for that reason, we hardly notice WHAT's happening outside of us.  A year ago, I visited my optometrist WHO, after going through the standard eyesight check, blurted out: 'Well, because of your age and eyesight, you still need progressive lenses'.  I just accepted her advice hook, line and sinker as I was thinking then that in a world of remote work, isolation [during the Covid-19 pandemic], cascading mental health crises and screens everywhere from our mobile phones to all other gadgets, it's never more important for us to get outside

Many many years back, our very platform to get out into the world were our parents and school mentors/teachers.  A decade later, thanks to Microsoft, they came up with Encarta, that CD-ROM encyclopedia that really condensed tons and tons of books into a handful of compact disks instead.  And voila, suddenly, that volume of knowledge was literally on our fingertips.  BUT before we know it, Encarta will become obsolete and irrelevant as it gets eclipsed by the enormosity of the vast and wide internet.  Then, Google and Wikipedia became our latest repositories

And before we know it, those learning opportunities with Google and Wikipedia get scooped by today's smartphones, making sure that all those opportunities are guaranteed to be right on our fingertips.  Then, before we know it, we welcomed AIs like ChatGPT.  Although AI as a technology remains at its infancy stage, it has been that astonishing no less.  WHAT shocked me that very first time I learned was that today's teens can seek refuse to ChatGPT even for their emotional needs.  Oh no.  WHICH brings me to a point in asking:  If Google and AI can answer all our questions, WHY do we need to know anything???

So, the question that begs to be asked is:  DO WE STILL [REALLY] NEED TO KNOW THINGS?  And to make things murkier, is it true that the very purpose of school ISN'T really to acquire knowledge BUT rather to develop a variety of skills and strengths that will serve us throughout our life?  YES, admittedly. the acquisition of knowledge is indeed tempting to dismiss as unimportant OR outdated

Our takeaway:  True, having Google and AI right on our fingertips has certainly changed things BUT acquiring knowledge is NOT really a waste of time.  In fact, it might actually be more valuable than ever.  YES, the purpose of knowing things ISN'T to simply have the answers to questions.  Instead, the true value of knowledge has more to do with our self-initiated CURIOSITY, to have a crystal clear understanding of WHAT is going on in the real world because like it OR NOT, we CAN'T just remain ensconced in our cellar OR even at the attic😡😡😡

Heard of that "TO-DON'T List" Yet?

 

All along, we've been hearing all those 'TO DO List'!  Has anyone heard for a "TO-DON'T List" yet???  eShockingly, I can wildly guess that a good majority of us [and I was once guilty of it in the past] DON'T have that "TO-DON'T List"  AT ALL!  Instead of us focusing on all the tasks we have to get done, ISN'T it equally beneficial [at the very least] if we look at everything else either we DON'T need OR even should NOT do in service of one's larger goal?  YES, it sounds like a waste of time BUT seriously, it's NOT.  Seeing clearly WHAT should NOT be taking in your attention is maybe one of the simplest ways to prioritize our time and focus on WHAT really matters most.  WHICH obviously will likely lead us to enhanced productivity and output [YES, even in our domestic chores at home].  Before things become quite convoluted, let us simply WHAT is that "TO-DON'T List" 

BAD-HABITS "TO-DON'T List" - This is all about goal-setting and is more of a plan you should adopt for your life overall if we want to improve it generally, NOT a technique to employ WHEN we have a specific goal in mind.  And those habits that hold us back can be obvious to us OR we may NOT even realize it BUT once you write it down, that raises your awareness [and more will come], e.g. DON'T put off answering emails ON-TIME, DON'T sleep more OR less than WHAT you really need to, DON'T sacrifice your health at all cost, DON'T put off work UNTIL WHEN it's due!@#$?

One key realization I have had is that once I started out scribbliing my "TO-DON'T List", I discovered many more troubling areas I was facing [to my frustration]

And YES, as we tend to be struggling to identify the broad, bad habits that might be holding us back, we need data  and that explains WHY writing down those ideas in your "TO-DON'T List" may NOT be enough.  WHICH means, it will help if, at the end of each day, we jot down WHAT went well and WHAT DIDN'T go well, and HOW do you want to retool your efforts going forward.  WHEN I started this off before, my goal was as simple as journalling but I ended expanding my very purpose that went way beyond just data collection BUT I ended up with a more comprehensive "TO-DON'T List" until I got this practice embedded within me

Now, for the more interesting 'OTHER HALF' of our "TO-DON'T List".  A lot of productivity methods at the workplace focus on WHAT you, specifically, need to contribute BUT some of the best ones also leave space for you to delegate tasks to others.  Multiple times I was guilty of this acts of commission in the past.  I remember I'll assign a task to my teammate only to end up doing it, more often because the better side of me prevails as I want to get things done faster and more efficiently.  Down the road, I realize that was NOT the best way to go

Our takeaway:  This "TO-DON'T List" should be a no-brainer.  Any Tom, Dick and Harry can scribble this out pronto.  Just to share the most obvious ones:

• DON'T schedule everyone's work for them!
• DON'T pick up other people's responsibilities!
• DON'T follow-up with an uncooperative person!
• DON'T decide UNLESS you thoroughly assesed it
• DON'T waste time on emails unlikely to get response

Dude, would you start with your "TO-DON'T LIst" now?