Perils of Solicited Advice

 

This is so mundane and somewhat petty to discuss in our thread.  SO, you might ask, WHY are we covering this today?  Simple.  Families.  Friends.  Trusted parties.  It's quite normal that either party tends to share his/her situation and somehow, one has to retort OR react to it, NOT because we're obliged BUT because it's just normal.  BUT things become unnatural IF and WHEN expectations are NOT aligned.  These are the PERILS OF SOLICITED ADVICE📗📙📘

WHEN someone reaches out to us, YES it is very much normal that we should endeavor to be there for them, actively listening and understand that they're looking for someone WHO will patiently hear them, and better still, guide OR counsel them.  Oooops, for the eager-beaver, before you start blurting out, let that 'sharing' get finished NOT in a hurried fashion.  Remember, WHEN someone is faced with a challenging situation and he/she starts to confide, you might even discern that emotional challenge he/she is going through.  So, sit through the entire conversation, nodding along, and truly empathizing even with the outpouring of emotions💥💥💥

I remember going through the heaviest conversations we can imagine, deep and reflective, sometimes drifting even into that philosophical space.  One thought flows into the next, like a gentle river slipping over boulders, carrying us through their tangled feelings.  Before you know it, there are experiences that would let us feel we're in a journey together, only to realize, in the end, that we were all by ourselves, NOT literally speaking BUT during those moments WHEN you kept listening❎❎❎

WHY?  WHAT IF that person blurting out and pouring it out to you is NOT looking for an advice at all?  Instead, WHAT they want and expect is NO more than VALIDATION.  The only words they want to hear are the ones they want to listen to.  The only thoughts that make sense are the ones they think are right.  It DOESN'T matter WHAT we have to say because there are times WHEN the person 'pouring it out' to you has his/her mind made up long before that conversation began❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Let us be sharp and incisive WHEN we get into these situations.  IF and WHEN someone pours it out BUT does NOT want new perspectives, all they want and expect is for someone to agree with them, concur and like singing ALLELUJAH!  And NO matter HOW many times you listen, and HOW many times you speak, it often feels like your time and word simply go unappreciated.  WHY?  Because WHAT they needed and expected is VALIDATION and NOT an advice at all😢😢😢