Out Of Control?

Out Of Control?

By nature, we human beings really have that deep-seated desire for certainty and CONTROL.  And of course, the fact that we coined 'CONTROL FREAK' indicates our need for CONTROL can go too far in fact.  BUT what if your life is Out Of Control? Maybe we shouldn't be surprised then that so many measures of our collective mental health are all heading in the wrong direction these days.  BUT given that the world looks unlikely to grow less crazy anytime soon, does that mean we're doomed to be miserable until our lives feel CONTROLLABLE📢📢📢

BUT not to despair, though, studies show that while we may NOT always be able to CONTROL events [OR even triggers] in life, we certainly can CONTROL our reaction to them and that can make a world of difference for our happiness.  Psychologists' researches show that there are two kinds of CONTROLs, namely, PRIMARY CONTROL and SECONDARY CONTROL💴💷💵

Examples of PRIMARY CONTROL are your decisions WHERE TO LIVE or even WHAT TO ORDER in a restaurant.  And while that's the most common one, SECONDARY CONTROL is very much close to its heels and the stark difference in the latter is that you DON'T CONTROL the events herein BUT you do CONTROL how you think about and respond to them.  SECONDARY CONTROL kicks in when you reframe a failure as a learning experience, that kind of HALF-FULL stuff📗📙📘

Over and over again, studies all scream in unison that humans prefer PRIMARY CONTROL [for obvious reasons] BUT they also showed that SECONDARY CONTROL can go a long way to promote feelings of both moment-to-moment HAPPINESS and even overall life satisfaction.  Intrinsically, it is a richer notion of WHAT it means to live a GOOD, FULL LIFE.  It's an attitude that DOESN'T downplay the negative experiences of life, yet it allows for a different kind of engagement with life✅✅✅

This gets to what SECONDARY CONTROL is about, being able to fit one's experiences into a broader narrative in life.  Events may be very often out of our hands BUT it is HOW we interpret and understand them which matters more.  Our takeaway:  You can always CONTROL how you tell your story.  WHEN you can't steer events, you can always steer HOW you think about them.  And this is when life being OUT of CONTROL becomes a thing of the past❗❗❗