How Difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things?

How Difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things?

Is this worth our 'talking point' today? How difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things? Supposedly this is a non-issue because it is jaw-dropping to hear us not being able to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things but trust me, this is not an evolving story but instead, this is a story that gets to repeat itself over and over again.  Look around.  Could be your close coterie of friends.  Could be your relatives.  Could be your business associates.  Look around.  You'll be surprised to see some of us struggling to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE things.

C'mon, let's clear up this murky situation. Do we really have a problem to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things?  Or is the issue more of figuring things out if we are in control or NOT?  WHAT IF as a student, your academic performance is going down on a spiral?  WHAT IF at the workplace, you have been called for repeated one-on-one's?

Let's sneak into the airplane cockpit.  Did we notice that regardless of the number of times the svelte and alluring flight attendants would knock and walk-in to the cockpit, the pilots remain as 'cool as a cucumber', so focused in the multifarious tasks they are performing and/or monitoring.  What makes them very revered and respected?  It's simply because they have proven they can FOCUS on any and all of the CONTROLLABLE Things.

Whereas, once the pilot senses that he is losing control of any of the triggers and/or events within the behavior of the airplane, the more they will deep-dive to dissect and figure out why previously CONTROLLABLE Things now look seemingly UNCONTROLLABLE.  But when do things get murkier?  It is when we non-pilots suddenly seem to have our life going down on a spiral simply because we are losing FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things

Now, do we feel overwhelmed sometimes?  C'mon, we got to FOCUS on the CONTROLLABLEs.   First off, we need to realize that we live in a 'VUCA' world a world full of VOLATILITY, UNCERTAINTY, COMPLEXITY and AMBIGUITY.  For entrepreneurs,, the business landscape is just too volatile and increasingly competitive and over the long term, it may be unpredictable.  It may seem on the surface to be a hostile landscape for anyone who wishes to start or build a business as there are so many shifting variables.  So, let's not believe that it is that difficult to focus on controllable things, NOT AT ALL❗❗❗

The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU

The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU

Question:  Do you know The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU?  Surely you would quickly blurt out, 'OF COURSE'.  But in reality, many of us DO NOT know as to what is our BEST VERSION.  And why do we not know our BEST VERSION? Easy.  Because we really DON'T care.  We just DON'T give it a damn.  Why?  Because we are so cocky and confident that we know our BEST VERSION

But honestly, many of us are oblivious of our BEST VERSION because whatever we are at the very moment, we will [falsely] claim that we already know our very own BEST VERSION but this is detestable.  If we [wrongly] know as to what is our BEST VERSION, how can we ever improve ourselves by a notch or two when we are, seriously, fooling ourselves, falsely believing that we are that good, that perfect, that too optimized and efficient no less❓❓❓

So, what else do we expect from ourselves if we are so drowned and damn impressed that indeed we are now at our BEST VERSION.  I've seen students in the past who were garnering honors and the parents never got tired appreciating their children.  And that led the poor children to think that they can just sit on their laurels.  So what and where do they end up?  Before they will realize it, they would be likely become the laggards in the rat race, eating the dust of the leaders .  Indeed, what a sad turnaround of things.

Oh, when you realize that you are already at your BEST VERSION, what else will motivate you?  Nada, nothing, zilch.  But the sadder fact about that kind of plight is the fact that the person didn't really mean to be at the doldrums but not to his choice, he is savoring the moments when he would hear that he is that good.  So, why do success stories quickly turn around into classic stories of collapse?  It's because people got so drunk with all the positives heaped all around him.  But did he ever validate those positives being heaped on him?  Hell no.  That's our dilemma, seriously.  We want to see and hear what we want while turning blind on everything else.

As everyone wants to become the BEST VERSION of themselves. but few actually do it.  We're our own worst enemies when it comes to achieving success, chasing our dreams, and living a life that's filled with passion and purpose.  Some of us even end up as self-destructive without realizing it, and others are conscious of the fact but lack the tools or knowledge in order to improve.  But no matter who you are, find your BEST VERSION

False Positives in Life

False Positives in Life

Supposedly, life is so simple, just X's and O's, nothing more nothing less. But alas, our life is such a topsy-turvy thing because that's when the inverted and the reversals would show its tail, further confusing us as to what is TRUE or what is FALSE.  And this is where False Positives in Life would creep in.  BTW, before we get waylaid with a 'to and fro' discussion, let us agree what False Positives really mean.

While there is certainly something to be said for having a sunny disposition in life, it's also possible to to overdose on the sickeningly sweet nectar of platitudes such as 'everything is awesome'.  Now, let's tackle that 'DARK SIDE' of the positive vibes [a.k.a. toxis positivity] and ow its overuse causes harm and leads to the very suffering it aims to quash.  

American author Mark Manson, 'EVERYTHING WORTHWHILE IN LIFE IS WON THROUGH SURMOUNTING THE ASSOCIATED NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE.  ANY ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE THE NEGATIVE TO [EITHER] AVOID IT OR QUASH IT OR SILENCE IT, ONLY BACKFIRES.  He further adds that 'THE AVOIDANCE OF STRUGGLE IS A STRUGGLE and the AVOIDANCE of SUFFERING IS A FORM OF SUFFERING and THE DENIAL of FAILURE is a FAILURE and HIDING WHAT IS SHAMEFUL IS ITSELF A FORM OF SHAME.  Very well said.

At work or in school, once you get an A+ rating, does that affirm that you are that GOOD? Not necessarily.  In fact, that rating could be farther from the truth.  And that is a classic case of a False Positive.  A False Positive is a variable that tells us that what is apparent may be a fallacy, the UNTRUE.  So when someone tells you in your face that "YOU'RE AWESOME", pause for a moment and challenge its veracity. 

Of course, we won't accept ending up in the predicament of that l'il girl, sobbing at the far end corner.  We DON'T need people to sing HOSSANAHS IN THE HIGHEST to us.  Why do many populist politicians and statesmen who would see their meteoric rise in the landscape only to crash-land on Earth like a shooting star?  Blame it on their cordon sanitaire, their close retinue of blind loyalists who would heap him with all the False Positives.  BTW, that tragic end could happen in our life if we will end up contented with the False Positives in life.  That won't bring us any farther dude❗❗❗

Can't Win Them ALL

Can't Win Them ALL

Admittedly, we are a pack of humans so spoiled within our comfort zones such that everything else outside of our comfort zone is not even thinkable at all.  Not to blame ourselves, from our childhood through early adulthood, we got used to be egged and motivated by our close circle of family and friends, all forming part of the ra-rah cheering team that kept sustaining our adrenalin levels way beyond the threshold for a time longer than it can remain.  What get's missed out is that we Can't Win Them ALL.  But by the time we realize that, it comes too little too late📌📌📌

You might retort back that the fact we Can't Win Them ALL is not even a 'talking point'.  But if it is not, how come we have seen this over and over again wherein people just refused to accept defeat and failure.  Whether they are athletes. sportsmen or politicians, the aftermath will always lead to either an utter protest or a vehement rejection of the unfavorable results📙📗📘

So how can we have both our feet back firmly on the ground.  Simple,  As long as we come to the realization that we Can't Win Them ALL because such is life.  But that's the bright side of things.  The sad part is that often times, greed creeps into our life and we start to [wrongly] thought that we can still WIN THEM ALL.  However, let us NOT be like Floyd 'MoneyMan' Mayweather who, until now, firmly believes he can WIN THEM ALL.  So what did he do?  He keeps fighting anyone, even patsies, even from Martial Arts, all because he so believes that until now he can WIN THEM ALL.  But do note that whatever victories MoneyMan is claiming, those are pyrrhic victories.

BTW, even Elon Musk, who recently hit the headlines because, hold your breath, because he was disowned by his very own daughter, simply blurted "YOU CAN'T WIN THEM ALL".  So what's our lesson here?  Let us accept reality.  That nothing is UNLIMITED in life.  Everything is finite.  Everything has got to end.  Even the best of the best stories finally come to an end, sometimes in a bitter and heart-wrenching manner.  But here's the good thing.  Do you know that most of the time, we can avoid the pain, agony and frustration that goes along as an aftermath when our winning streak finally grinds to a halt?  Yesirrrrrrs we can avoid that very rough patch.  How?  Simply by this consistent realization and awareness that we just CAN'T WIN THEM ALL💊💊💊

BTW, here's another positive flipside.  Even assuming come next day you would [finally] lose, take value with this poster as it says SOMETIMES YOU WIN SOMETIMES YOU LEARN.  That's the sad part though when you will learn things the hard way but other than that, there is no room for griping here because after all, this is our life, this is how life goes.  You CAN'T WIN THEM ALL❗❗❗

What Wears You Down

What Wears You Down

What Wears You Down will absolutely WEAR YOU DOWN.  But that's NOT the question though.  Instead, the bigger question lurking behind us is, do we know what WEARS US DOWN?  Or are we simply oblivious and unaware of the variables in life that are indeed WEARING US DOWN?  So, what exactly WEARS US DOWN?  That's a looooooong list though if we need to run down.  Instead, let's sit down and focus on the core list of variables that seem to be WEARING you down.  Do you struggle with self-doubt and self-defeating habits?  Do you want to feel more confident about yourself?

BTW, what could be wearing you down is your EXCESS BAGGAGE.   So, the $64 question you need to ask yourself is to identify your EXCESS BAGGAGE. And the best way to start feeling better about yourself is to notice the automatic mental and emotional habits that DON'T serve you well and find more self-compassionate and life-affirming ways to think and behave.  With conscious awareness and a daily focus on changing old habits, you can begin to build new, positive emotional pathways in your brain.  Our brains possess the capacity for neuroplasticity, which means that practicing new ways of thinking.

So how do we overcome the most common barriers to feeling confident, happy and successful?  Let's start with guilt which we learned way back our childhood.  'EAT YOUR FOOD. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE STARVING' or 'I'VE BEEN WORKING MY FINGERS TO THE BONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND ALL YOU IS COMPLAINT?!@#% As adults, we can internalize these messages and as a result, feel like we're never enough or can never do enough.

BTW, guilt is counter-productive.  That GUILT about not doing enough to help someone else when in fact you have already done a lot.  That GUILT about having more money or better relationships than friends.  That GUILT about thoughts that you DON'T actually act on, like feeling jealous of a friend who just had a baby.  Thinking about FAILURE is another unknown enemy.  Many of us have a sense of failure that colors our perception of ourselves and our achievements.  If you look at your life through the lens of failure, you will fail to pay attention to your achievements📗📘📙

Oh, are you a perfectionist?  That could be dangerous to your mind and body.  An article in the Review of General Psychology, it found that perfectionists are more likely to struggle with depression or anxiety and more likely to commit suicide.  Perfectionists are also more likely to be diagnosed with conditions such as chronic fatigue.  and can only like themselves if they do well.  But nobody can do well all the time.  So, it really pays to know What Wears You Down⏳⏳⏳

Did You 'ACE THE TEST'?

Did You 'ACE THE TEST'?

Did You 'ACE THE TEST'? Or were you ever aware in the past that you were about to go through a test, frankly to test your mettle?  Unfortunately, many of us tend to live life casually and passively to the extent that we are totally unaware of particular phases in our life where, not to our choice or liking, we are put to a test, either in school, at work, in our relationship with our partner/spouse or even for entrepreneurs, in the business forays you would get into.

BTW, to 'ACE THE TEST', that's not just happening in the academic space because it can happen any day anywhere.  And those TESTS will happen NOT just to test your skills or capability but it could be to TEST anything within you.  Could be your CHARACTER, your FAITH, your INTEGRITY, your LOYALTY, your PATIENCE, your PERSEVERANCE, your RESILIENCE or even your MENTAL HEALTH.  And the harsh reality in life is that we should and cannot FAIL any of all those tests.  We got to ACE THE TEST.

Regardless of the test you would face in life, never hesitate to ask this post-mortem question:  Did You 'ACE THE TEST'? And assuming you failed the most recent test, that's fine.  By being aware that you failed in the most recent test, that can WAKE YOU UP to shape up because you got to ACE THE TEST.

So how do you 'ACE THE TEST'? Simple.  PREP IT.  ACE IT.  Simply put, prepare for those tests to come and happen.  Not to be pessimistic and ending up haunting you, you need to be fully aware of the CHINKS in your armor because that should trigger you to correct those CHINKS in your armor and ensure you 'PLUG YOUR HOLES' up front.

At the end of the day, you DON'T need to be obsessed to 'ACE THE TEST'.  Just remain focused and steadfast with that singular objective on a consistent basis.  I'll assure you can ACE THE TEST❗❗❗

Deboning Problems

Deboning Problems

Deboning Problems is not far different when we're deboning fish to prepare for a fillet.  It is NEITHER rocket science NOR is it a simple equation like 1+1=2.  Without over-simplifying things, most problems are not complex enough to break us down to our soul and spirit.  Truth is, most problems are an offshoot of our day-to-day living.  And quite often, a minor snag may trigger something that leads to a result that farther leads to another complication that creates a new problem💊💊💊

Much identified closely to fish by affinity, problems are often rightfully resolved by Deboning Problems via the proven technique the old school refers to as FISH BONE ANALYSIS.  It  is a reverse approach to 'debug' a problem by starting to look at it from the surface and from the most obvious levels before you deep-dive on a per step basis📗📘📙

Truth is, most of our problems impact us mentally, psychologically, emotionally or a combination thereof.  Sometimes, it tends to torment us no end till we feel that things are spinning around, running in circles around us.  So, the nagging question is does it seem to appear that we humans seem to be swamped with enormous volumes of problems most of the time

It's because during those times of helplessness, we DON'T see, to have the tools + capability to deal with the problem itself.  Instead, we seem to run from end to end like a headless chicken nowhere to go.  So what's the first step towards fixing such a quandary?  First off,calm down and regain composure.  Many of us, in those moments of torment, we tend to lose reason and logic from within.  

 Instead, we should have nothing less than all these interrogatives.  HOW?  WHY?  WHO? These are an integral part of Deboning Problems 101 such that when you either overlook or miss out these basic interrogatives, you will end up seemingly helpless and on the precipice of giving up.  C'mon dude, life was NOT meant for us to give so soon, right❓❓❓

Those 'AHA' Moments

Those 'AHA' Moments

Ten [10] years ago, in August 2012 to be exact, Merriam-Webster released their annual list of new dictionary words and at the very top way above 'bucket list' was 'AHA' Moments.    As famous American celebrity Oprah Winfrey explained, 'AHA' Moments as those moments of 'SUDDEN INSPIRATION, iINSIGHT, RECOGNITION or COMPREHENSION.  But let's not talk about Oprah.  Instead, let's look back into our lives.  Surely you had those 'AHA' Moments but the bigger question is, were you aware with those 'AHA' Moments

But the tougher nut to crack here is that the thing about the 'AHA' Moments, you would never thought of it that way before but you can't have those 'AHA' Moments unless you already knew it.  So, the 'AHA' Moments is the remembering of what you already knew, articulated in a way to resonate with your own truth.  So, the 'AHA' Moments isn't somebody teaching you something. Instead, it is somebody helping you to remember.

Do you remember the last time you said "so that's how this works"?  Hold on to that memory because that was an 'AHA' Moment.  To be a little scientific, emotions are the consequences of the chemical messages revealed from our brain through the body.  To cite a relevant example, when we identify or experience something rewarding such such as a notification from Twitter that says 'someone retweeted your post, our brain releases dopamine, oxytocin or serotonin which are the chemicals that make us feel good.

Sometimes, the effects of the feeling are very strong that it drives our behaviors and decision-making.  And those 'AHA' Moments are such moments that make a user decide to employ a product.  In real life, we could have benefitted a lot more from Those 'AHA' Moments.  How?  Firstly, by taking those 'AHA' Moments as the moments to inspire us in our next steps.

On the flip side, what if we simply shrug off our shoulders after having those 'AHA' Moments?  Simple.  Those 'AHA' Moments would have gone to naight because we didn't leverage on that positivity.  What a WASTE.  What a MISS for Those 'AHA' Moment💊💊💊

Anger Is One Letter Away from 'DANGER

Anger Is One Letter Away from 'DANGER'

Wake up every morning, turn on any gadget to watch and view news streaming worldwide and you would see our global village littered with 'ANGER'. Be it the raging Russian war in Ukraine, the actions by extremist Islamists in the Middle East or even the 'saber rattling' in the South China Sea between China and Taiwan.  Voila, there is 'ANGER' all over the place, seriously.  And why do we think the situations in Ukraine and elsewhere have become dangerous?  It's because Anger Is just One Letter Away from 'DANGER

And who are we quoting with this one-liner? No less than the respected ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, the U.S. First Lady during the term of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt said that:  Anger Is One Letter Away from 'DANGER.  Indeed it is.  And this is were ANGER MANAGEMENT really comes into the picture.  Studies have shown that eight percent of adolescents display ANGER issues that qualify for lifetime diagnoses of intermittent explosive disorder.  BTW, ANGER issues aren't limited to teens and it's important that we understand anger symptoms, causes and effects if you suspect you are in that ANGER predicament.

It also helps that we dig dipper into that ANGER problem if we perceive that that indeed exists.  Individuals who have trouble controller ANGER or who experience ANGER outside of a normal emotional scope can present with different types of ANGER disorders.  Unfortunately, experts have presented  contradicting lists of ANGER types.  If we start rattling down the most common types of ANGER, you will be surprised, it's a long list

If you had prolonged ANGER, that's CHRONIC.  If your ANGER does not always come across, that could be PASSIVE ANGER.  If your ANGER is at times too much for you to cope, that's OVERWHELMED ANGER.  When your ANGER is directed to yourself, that's SELF-INFLICTED ANGER.  And when that ANGER is directed towards others, that's JUDGMENTAL ANGER.  And when your ANGER includes spontaneous excessive, that's VOLATILE ANGER.  Unfortunately, there is no best choice from this long list of ANGER types.  And your only choice is to improve your ANGER MANAGEMENT.

At the end of the day, all we dream of is blissful and peaceful day-to-day living, shielded from any shades of Anger as it drains and zaps you.  We have more important things to plot out and achieve in life and ANGER is NOT one of them because that's never part of our long list of priorities and not even the tail-ender.

Taking A Quantum Leap

Taking A Quantum Leap

Are you contemplating to dump your 'old school' way of taking 'baby steps' and instead Taking A Quantum Leap?  Kudos to you BUT only if you succeed.  But let's not sing hallelujah too soon.  You can dare ask me, how often in the past did I decide on Taking A Quantum Leap?  Don't get me wrong, Taking A Quantum Leap is very very commendable and laudable but hold on, can we pull the brakes for a while and debate on the pros and cons of Taking A Quantum Leap?  I myself, I'll admit, I fell flat on my face in the past after Taking A Quantum Leap.

And before I get bashed by a mob, please DON'T get me wrong.  Per se, there's nothing wrong Taking A Quantum Leap BUT things become quite concerning when you often risked taking it and failed over and over again.  So, where's the beef?

The actionable part here comes when you have fallen flat on your face over and over again.  Because what that means when Taking A Quantum Leap, there could be a serious flaw within your decision-making.  Are you thoroughly thinking out?  Do you ever thoroughly plan things out?  Do you thoroughly assess the risks across your options?  Or, all along, do you decide by impulse and just take the high road of plunging down regardless of the risks?

Oh, you can be that goldfish taking that huge LEAP of FAITH?  But alas, a few times, we do see such 'high flyers' really succeeding but hold on, that's not the most common thing happening in real life.  So what's the probability of failing, if at all.  Oh dude, not to demotivate you, there is that high probability of failing [until the 'law of averages' catches up] and..... voila!  Back to our lives, think about taking those small, baby steps. While that will you take longer, you have that higher probability 

So, what's the fix?  It's fine to be ambitious by angling for that bullseye but you got to 'PAY YOUR DUES', you got to patiently learn things in that slow but sure approach.  Why go HELTER-SKELTER if you will go nowhere?  Would take those small ten thousand steps where your probability is around 90% as against TAKING A QUANTUM LEAP where, after that leap. you will fall flat on your face?  As that old cliche goes, haste makes haste.  So. will you roll the dice and still decide in TAKING A QUANTUM LEAP❓❓❓