You Miss 1,000% of the Shots You DON'T Take

You Miss 1,000% of the Shots You DON'T Take

If you attempt to shoot the ball five times and five times you fail to shoot it, your FAILURE RATE is one hundred percent, period.  Having said that, if you DON'T ever attempt to shoot that ball at all, do we know what's your FAILURE RATE ?  That's one thousand percent NO LESS.  Why ? It's simply because you lost ten times more simply by wasting and defaulting to lose those opportunities to shoot the ball.  The gravity of all those LOST OPPORTUNITIES get compounded by your sheer INACTION.

True, goals seem so lofty and so far out to reach but that's the way things are laid out in life. You can't go to the online portal and ADD TO CART the goal you want to achieve.  It's never that easy.  On the other hand, you need to work your butt damn hard and grind the hardest for you to even have a china man's chance to ever succeed.  I remember someone was asked, 'WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS' ?  His curt response:  I'm waiting for my friend, period.

Thing is, what is demanded from each of us is to give his BEST SHOT and no less than that.  So, what does DOING the BEST really mean ?  Doing your best is synonymous with living out each and every moment to its fullest.  And this potential does exists in every situation.  All that is required of us is NOT to fight whatever life throws in our way.

Doing our best is NOT about meeting expectations.  It ISN'T about success or failure.  It is about putting all your energy into whatever life situation you are now in.  And it's about time we RETHINK our definition of FAILURE.  Every moment you think you failed was supposed to happen exactly as it happened and no other way.  It is often those moments that as we label as failures that teach us the most about ourselves.

Let's tackle simple ways to transform our perspective.  Firstly, TAKE ANY OPPORTUNITY IN LIFE as a new adventure.  Even if it is something that you have done a thousand times, experience it to its fullest from an open-minded perspective.  Secondly, DO THINGS TO DO THEM, not Thirdly, TURN INTENTION INTO ACTION.  Intentions are great , but they will only get you so far.  That phrase 'FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT' fundamentally means acting even if the motivation isn't there. JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T.❗❗❗

Your Own 'BATTLE SCARS'

 Your Own 'BATTLE SCARS'

Who doesn't have 'BATTLE SCARS' ?  Truth of the matter, everyone of us has his/her own fair share of 'BATTLE SCARS', not literally those battles from the Middle East or Afghanistan but rather even 'BATTLE SCARS' from conflict, quarrels, fiascos and crisis we have encountered at various points in our life.  Those 'BATTLE SCARS' are the hard lessons we learned along the way, those lessons which we should have picked up, else we cannot tag them as lessons.  Studies show however, that at least fifty percent of lessons either are not detected or picked up.  Either, we are just too oblivious by ignoring it or we're just shrugging it off.

Question is, which LESSONS do you learn most in life ?  LESSONS from school ?  LESSONS from the training at work ?  Or LESSONS you extract by running Google Search ?  The clear answer is NONE of the ABOVE.  Because while it's true that you can pick up LESSONS from there, nothing beats the LESSONS you learn from your mistakes in life, from your blunders, from your faux pas.  Too bad, however, there can't be spoon feeding of those lessons.

Why are those lessons from our past conflicts, failures and fiascos the best ones to pick ?  It's because those are real-life scenarios that did happen in your life, so there remains that probability that that same scenario[s] will recur.  BTW, how do you detect a lesson ?  Find the very root cause that caused that precipitated that mistake leading to that failure,  Let's run a WHAT IF.  WHAT IF you just ignore and shrug off those lessons ?  Then, they don't become lessons.

This is the hardest part of lessons though.  You could have acknowledged that 'BATTLE SCARS", those lessons in life BUT until and unless you learn from those lessons, those same lessons will just go for naught.  And I just can't agree more with this black & white poster stating that such LESSONS in LIFE will continue to be repeated until they are learned.  If in your relationship with your partner/spouse, there were rough patches that eventually got smoothened but until and unless you learn those lessons deep within yourself, those rough patches are likely BOUND to HAPPEN in the future.  Why?  Such is life, it repeats itself unless you learn.

What else do we need to do ?  Yes please, DO THE WORK, period.  How ?  Learn your lessons the hard way.  RECTIFY your mistakes.  FIX your frailties.  IDENTIFY your improvement area[s].  Paramount of all, come up with your concrete IMPROVEMENT PLAN.  Define it with SPECIFICS, for you to MEASURE yourself.  Make the most of YOUR OWN BATTLE SCARS✅✅✅

When Things Are Hanging on by a Thread

When Things Are Hanging on by a Thread

So sorry, this is not a horror story but rather, we'd like to focus on those instances in our life WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD.  And it is not at all embarassing for us to admit that at some points in our lives, we did experience it WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD.  Remember the points in life when all it takes is another tick of the clock, and everything will just snap off.  Remember those moments when you were already holding the white flag and not by choice, you thought you had no option but to throw in the towel and raise the white flag.

Yes, those times in our life is no less than a nightmare.  I was in that 'foxhole' before and I admit that I'm so scared to death, even as it continues to haunt me because I admit dreading getting back into that 'foxhole' crisis.  Why ?  Because I honestly can't guarantee that I'll be able to extricate myself from that deep morass.  Why ?  Because I just can't guarantee that I'll be able to [successfully] replicate all over again that case of 'rising from the dead', so to speak.  So, if you wanna ask me why should we devout this piece WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD, it's because as much as we want to ignore that past, as it is in life, we really do not have a good handle of the future.  There's no way we can control the future except anticipate how things will unroll as we continue our life journey.

WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD, we are then in 'SURVIVAL MODE' but of all things, we need to ask ourselves, how do we detect that indeed we are in that 'SURVIVAL MODE' ?  Here we go.

• WHEN everything seems URGENT
• WHEN your back is AGAINST THE WALL
• WHEN things you need to happen do NOT HAPPEN
• WHEN those who can help you are in CRISIS MODE too
• WHEN STRESS LEVELS seem to be at an all-time high
• WHEN EVERY NEXT DAY YOU DREAD to come 
• WHEN you are reactive instead of proactive 
• WHEN anything and everything is always AT RISK
• WHEN GOOD ENOUGH is enough instead of EXCELLING
  n

What are the NO-NOs WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD ?

NEVER throw in the towel

NEVER raise the white flag

NEVER forget the efforts you have exerted to date

NEVER mince the sacrifices you endured in the past

NEVER deflate your chances to succeed even till to date

Now, taking your life back is what we need to do WHEN THINGS ARE HANGING ON BY A THREAD.  How ?  DON'T control everything around you, that's counter-intuitive.  And as you are in the crossroads, CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT and make a firm decision.  And at this point, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY because it is up to you to create the life you deserve.  And lastly, LIVE YOUR LIFE.  Remember, your life is speeding.  DON'T just ride in it.  DRIVE IT.❗❗❗

Once You Fall Off the Wagon

Once You Fall Off the Wagon

In life, we trek and traverse thousands and thousands of miles, careful not to just fall off along the way but again, it happens, one day we will fall off.  But in real life, that is least surprising, right ?  Because, such is life, we rise and fall.  So, what's the fuzz then why this is becomes the subject of our piece today ?  It's not because it does happen but it's more because how it really impacts our life when we fall off the wagon.

Ouch, yes it's true, when we fall off the wagon, it's not painless.  In fact, it's not just an 'ouch' thing but instead, it impacts us from various perspective in our life:

• 'coz we lose the momentum by then
• 'coz that setback impacts our plan
• 'coz sometimes we're back to square1
• 'coz it causes confusion to our plan
• 'coz at times it affects our motivation
• 'coz often it demoralizes us in our plan
• 'coz we treat falling down as a failure

Now, let me play devil's advocate here.  While where possible, no one wants to fall off the wagon, when it does, accept it because there's an upside to it.  FALLING OFF awakens us.  FALLING OFF alerts us.  FALLING OFF gives us the chance to rectify things way ahead before a problem is beyond fixing.  In fact, FALLING OFF strengthens our resolve to move forward.

If at all, if there's anything that should not be impacted when you fall off from your wagon, it is your CONFIDENCE.  That can't be crushed.  It should not crumble at all because that's part of your very CORE.  Warriors and fighters would always in constant search of the opponent's chink in his armor and more often, they are looking where to locate the very CORE of one's CONFIDENCE.

Instead, pick up the pieces fast and quick.  You can't stay slumbering there because you would be raising against time.  Remember the tons of effort and sacrifices you have poured out and you don't want it all to end up as utter wastage if you just don't get back to your feet. Pronto dude❗❗❗

When Words Are Parsed

When Words Are Parsed

In life, practically almost everything with value is indeed valued.  We could rattle off starting with assets down to jobs down to relationships.  But WORDS ?  Hardly and rarely, to be honest.  In fact, most of us, at some points in our lives we did devalue the importance of WORDS.  That explains why people are parsing and dissecting WORDS based on what they want to hear and nothing else.  Then, kaboom !  Conflicts arise !

This is spot on.  WORDS ARE TOOLS and they are that powerful, enough to make or unmake relationships and even lives.  That is the extent as to how words can be impactful.  While a lot of relationships were built and conceived with the POWER of WORDS, on the same breadth, a lot of those previously healthy relationships ended by shattered and wrecked.  Why ?  Studies show that 90% of those ill-fated relationships were ravaged and ruins by the sheer POWER of WORDS, but this time around, words were twisted and parsed against each of the protagonists in a conflict.

How words get parsed and later twisted, a hell lot of those bitter situations were just exacerbated by small EMOTIONS that later on erupted into volcanic EMOTIONS !  And the ultimate culprit ?  Unfortunately, it's not really the WORDS but rather we always end up as the culprit when we end up losing control of WORDS itself

Like a two-sided coin, WORDS have the energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.  The words we choose and how we use them can build others up or tear them down.  The WORD POWER carries different meanings in different contexts yet they all have the underlying ability to influence.

How are we using such powerful weapon so carelessly ?  How is that when some of us are quite 'merciless' and cold-hearted that give themselves the right to toy with people's emotions Why are nice and kind words seem to get scarce these days ?  And that probably explains why we feel amazed when we meet a genuinely amiable person?  So, that's it, let's be Xtra cautious when words are parsed✅✅✅

DON'T Be A Dinosaur [because it may mean you're 'extinct']

DON'T Be A Dinosaur [because it may mean you're 'EXTINCT']

Not literally but not too long ago, 'dinosaurs' [and probably 'monsters' too] were very much part and parcel of the daily setting.  Remember our early school days when we were so scared with a bespectacled fierce-looking teacher who, during classes, was fiercer than her looks ?  Remember the school Prefect of Discipline who was the most dreaded person in school simply by his title ?

The thing is, nowadays, dinosaurs DON'T look like dinosaurs anymore.  They can be those sweet-looking fellas, that approachable classmate, that amiable work colleague, that easy-to-deal with business associate or it could be ourselves not to our awareness though.  Yes, while most of the time people are conscious once they start to wear the hat of a monster, there are times when we are so immersed in a situation to the extent that we're not aware that we're acting and/or manifesting behaviors that may be akin to a dinosaur's.

Think about it, even in a worst case scenario, people don't really turn into a 'dinosaur' overnight.  Even evolving from good to bad to worse etcetera really takes time and that takes years and sometimes a decade or two.  So what's our antidote so that we don't wake up one day and get shocked that things went 'down south' as we evolved ?  Take a one-minute break and face the mirror and run a quick pulse check of yourself.  And if you find yourself with that semblance of a 'monster', it's never late to rectify things.  Better late than never, as the cliche goes.

Oh yes, a common casualty in this detestable 'monster' syndrome are our relationships with our loved ones, our partners/spouse, our kids and it even stretches down to our relationships with our relatives and friends.  Ooops, I am NOT alluding that many of us do eventually turn up as 'monsters' causing relationships to weaken or even crumble.  Fact is, feelings change so what do we do?  Take that CONSCIOUS + CONSTANT effort to always reinforce your relationships.

But the most mind-boggling question is that why is it in life, when things are nice and dandy, why do things GO SOUTH ?  But do note that the plurality of things still show us that "IT'S ALL QUITE IN THE WESTERN FRONT", which is music to our ears.  All these really boil down for us to get this deeply embedded within us, that indeed "THERE's ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT".  BTW, not as a threat but if you don't have the buy-in for this mindset, I worry for you if things may go sour, things may GO SOUTH.  Again, to be forewarned is to be forearmed.✅✅✅

Pool Your Breadcrumbs

Pool Your Breadcrumbs

Everyone thinks of breadcrumbs as breadcrumbs and indeed it is BUT there's a long view of it though.  Those breadcrumbs could actually shape things to fruition or failure.  And I myself I didn't realize that, not until after so many years of ignoring it.  And it is a realization that's earthshaking at the very least because of its impact to our lives.  

Not a commercial pitch for Panko breadcrumbs but this is reality.  Even breadcrumbs have effectiveky encroached and invaded our local markets not for exploiting the market itself but simply because the market confirms the value of breadcrumbs. Even in life, we need to realize that breadcrumbs should NOT be swept away, NOT anymore. If you simply gather all those negligible quantities of breadcrumbs, over it [or in no time at all]. it could be that material and tangible enough for your needs.

Let's buckle down in life.  People you know could be manifesting in good faith their small-small intentions so, first things first, please DON'T shrug it off, DON'T shun it off.  Thing it, always take it with a grain of salt and like a glass with half-water, by default, look at it as half-full and NOT half-empty.  True in most cases, people are motivated to do things but if that is not adversarial and antagonistic, you need to take it at the very least in a neutral manner.  BUT, better still, take those l'il l'il things in good faith so that eventually, goodwill will build up along the way.

Goodwill is all that matters. In relationships. At work.  In school.  In business.  All these are the sum of lots of moving pieces and the glue that binds all those moving pieces is nothing less than goodwill.  You can be the best worker and you can have the best boss but if goodwill is not something you mutually share, that working relationship will eventually sour till it crumbles.  In our relationships, there you go.  You got married and raise your family but to go through those years, goodwill should have been built between the couple. In a planned startup business,  you go to bank lenders but do you think they will lend you that startup capital if the goodwill is not yet there ?

Voila, here's what we got, not just food on the table but scrumptious Italian Breadcrumbs so that's we reap when we pool all those breadcrumbs.  So, folks, whether at home in your relationships with your loved ones, your relationship with your work colleagues, your schoolmates in the academe or if you're an entrepreneur then both your suppliers and clients, please factor-in things down to the last breadcrumbs, keep it and build on it 💛💜💚

Never Trip Over Your Own Feet

Never Trip Over Your Own Feet

Who trips over their own feet ?  Well, of course everyone of us did trip over our own feet at various points in our lives but is that fine and normal ? Yes AS LONG AS you don't trip over your own feet over and over again because that will doom you. Whereas birds ?  How come they NEVER EVER trip over their own feet ?  

Oh yes, it's pardonable when toddlers do trip OVER and OVER again.  But us adults ?  It's just indeed mind boggling why for some of us [hey, in the past, I'll admit that I did trip over my own feet over and over again, so I'm NOT cleaning up myself here] do trip over our own feet OVER and OVER again ?  Are we dumbbells or simply nitwits ?  Or to be blunt, are we just jerks or is this all about stupidity ?  For the benefit of the doubt, for the sake of argument, let's just say "it's all of the above".  But what's really troubling is that the same story seems to repeat itself across our lives ?  Is it just because we're unshakeable ?  Or is it being STUBBORN?

Now, let me share my observations which are first person accounts.  A lot of us are obligingly blind if and when we do trip over our own feet.  We just shrug it off.  We just shy it off.  Curtly, we seem to ignore it.  But the worst shortfall is that by seeming ignorance, we miss out that we end up as the sore loser on all fronts either because we don't see lessons in it or we wrongly misguided ourselves in believing that tripping over our own feet is indeed worth ignoring and a non-issue !@#$%?  Good grief.

And that's the worst crime one can ever self-inflict !  And for the mother of all worst crimes, the self-inflicted ones largely remained unnoticed and unacted upon simply because it was pooh-poohed and give that cold shoulder by no less than you, me or us.  BTW when one looks the other way around, things get unnoticed.  And that will be a double-whammy when one turns a blind eye and a deaf ear.  Look back into our lives when we did trip over our feet and we tripped again, don't we agree that if the first tripping can be given ignored, the second tripping did cause some tremors and impact within you ?  Didn't we see the handwriting on the wall ?

Oh yes, I can't agree more with this poster that says 'IT TAKES SKILL TO TRIP OVER FLAT SURFACES' !@#$ But hey, this is more than just taunting or mockery if one did tell me this one-liner because tripping over flat surfaces is aking to tripping over your own feet !  What lessons do we pick from this piece ?  NEVER ignore every misstep or mistake we commit even if they're petty.  NEVER fail to tie loose ends so that it does not recur.  NEVER fail to pick up lessons from each 'self-tripping'.  NEVER fail to rectify each of those hard lessons learned.  NEVER fail to remind yourself that nothing is petty at all NEVER fail to wake yourself up when you're 'off track.  NEVER fail to be tough on yourself so you DON'T TRIP OVER YOUR OWN FEET [all over again] ❗❗❗

Those Slippery Slopes

Those Slippery Slopes

Yes sirs, we don't live in level rolling plains.  Instead, we go through various terrains to test our mettle but more than that, more often, we are constantly trekking up in slopes.  But here's the catch though.  Most of those slopes are not dry and firm enough for us to grip.  Instead, most of those slopes are too slippery at any given time.  And what's the catch when going up those slippery slopes ?  Once we slip down, more often it would set us back not just a step back but multiple steps back.  If you're trekking Mount Everest, that could mean throwing you back to base camp.

The thing is, life itself is already that slippery slope we all dread.  So what does it take for us to counter the slippery slopes in life ?  You don't have to be ruthless or cold-blooded to succeed in the world today.  Success does NOT require talent, good looks or inherited wealth either.  In fact, all success really requires is a determined mind that is committed to persist despite all challenges that may come your way.

In short, once you slip, persistence is all that matters.  Now the inverse is also true.  A lack of persistence is one of the best ways to guarantee failure in any endeavor you undertake.  But we are not here to see you fail.  Note that we are made to persist.  That's how we find out who we are.

How long should we try ?  Until when ?  Well, you gotta press on.  Nothing in the world can stop your persistence.  Permanence, perseverance and persistence, inspite of all obstacles. discouragement and impossibilities, it is this that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.  I'd like to quote Buddha's most quotable quote: 'in the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins, not through strength but through persistence.

But as slipping down or getting thrown out from the slopes is sometimes inevitable, how should you prepare for such inevitabilities ?  Prepare for contingencies.  If it's all about your health, neven run out of your nutrients.  If it's your financials, you got to maintain that 'piggy back' which you'll crack up if needed,  Never get caught flatfooted because that could be your worst downfall which can be cushioned❗❗❗

Go 'OFF THE GRID'

 Go 'OFF THE GRID'

Being part of the mainstream has always been our comfort zone.   Be it in the latest social media buzz or the latest fashion fad or even the places most people go to dine out, conventional wisdom dictates that the majority can't just go wrong. Oh well, its aye for me in most cases but it can't be true through and through though.

How many times have you seen either a couple or bff's going out for dinner and out there, both are just so engrossed with social media, so oblivious that they have company for that dine-out.  Does this not defeat the very purpose of going out ?  To bond during your common spare window ?  Instead, each is in his/her own silo, not until the food gets served.  What happens next is as good as your guess.  They end up to 'EAT and RUN'.

Wall clocks anyone ?  Nope, that's a thing of the past BUT having said that this is the time to declare that we ourselves have become hostages to every tick of the clock.  And didn't you realize, for most of us, the last thing we touch base before shutting off our eyes is social media and come next morning, that's the very first stuff we make ourselves busy.  Didn't we realize that. subtly, we're ending up hostaged by the clock time ?

Heard of stories where an ambitious fellow did heed the advice of folks around him as he was overly ambitious to reach his 'promised land' the soonest with the least effort ?  And when he was finally atop that heap of fallacies and fantasies, he realized he was literally lost in the trail after he did heed the advice of all the people around him.  The harsh reality in life is that people are generally opinionated.  If there are ten folks around you, rest assured you will receive ten inputs that will lead you more dizzy and puzzled.  Have you approached someone to seek advice and you were curtly snobbed ?  Very hardly and rarely, at all.

Good enough, most of us know what we want.  And I guess, if we share any commonality, it's that dream to live an ideal life.  So, why don't we consider sometimes to go 'OFF THE GRID', sans social media, sans those apps, sans the kibitzers around you, sans the distractions within your periphery ?  Because we are entitled to our own Nirvana, that state of PERFECT QUIETUDE, FREEDOM, HIGHEST HAPPINESS and our liberation from worldly suffering❗❗❗