When it Becomes a Turning Point

When it Becomes a Turning Point

We all live in a fast lane.  The pace of life more often goes in a frenetic pace, beyond our capacity to be in cadence.  But that should NOT be an excuse.  It is imperative that we're in cadence every step along the way.  Imagine the ramifications if you are at least a step behind ?  A step behind means, inside out, that you'll be literally a step behind in any of your endeavors.  And when you're a step behind, you will end up no different from a snail or a slug, a loafer 'EATING THE DUST' if you're a 'CELLAR DWELLER'.

Gotta realize though that our life story is much akin to the typical 'story arc, it goes through the Ups and Downs and when we got a challenge at hand, that's when things begin to go uphill but it won't be that way forever because eventually, you would reach that turning point that tells you you're in that precipice of overcoming the hump.

To quote this poster: 'JUST LIKE THE OCEAN, LIFE IS A CONSTANT EBB AND FLOW'.  But note that when you're seeking the surface of the ocean, and even to the extent of appreciating its beauty, it won't be the same as diving into it.  And nothing can prepare you more in life than that experience of stepping into the ocean but this is slightly veering away from our piece today.  But as you continue go through the ebb and flow across those sheets of water, you need to recognize the TURNING POINT.  That separates the men from the boys.  That explains why surfers are surfers. They seem to rule the water but what's their open secret ?  It's recognizing the TURNING POINT.

If you seem to be lost in the maze of things, let's go back to our literature fundamentals.  The TURNING POINT is that climax or point in the story's plot where the narrative goes to its peak or climax.  The TURNING POINT are akin to the interstate highways with multiple exits for you to choose.  And that's when even the fastest drivers will have to slow down because they DON'T wanna miss out the correct interstate exit, else it will set back his driving by easily another 5 to 10 miles.  Back into our lives, why do we need to detect the TURNING POINT ?  It's because those are the points in life when and where we need to take and make crucial decisions that will bring us forward or not.

You might be tempted to challenge me now:  WHY are we making a fuss of the TURNING POINT ?  Simple.  We DON'T want to MISS THE BUS.  Missing the bus means lost opportunities or missed chances where we would have been in much better shape.  Lesson here:  be that sharp to detect the TURNING POINT❗❗❗

How's Your MENTAL CONDITIONING ?

How's Your MENTAL CONDITIONING ?

When i was a 'promdi' decades back, right from Day-1, I knew that if I had to SURVIVE LIFE in the city jungles, I had to grind hard enough.  And as an entry-level with hardly any credentials to boot, I'll admit that bordering that sense of desperation, I was job hunting [with NO FILTERING].  And one of the jobs I ended applying is a sales job where I vividly remember the trainor sharing about that barracuda experiment as part of out training then.

That barracuda experiment ran this way:  They put the barracuda into a big fish tank and that barracuda swam freely in the tank.  The scientist then put a glass panel in the middle of the tank, splitting the tank in half.  The barracuda was then at one side and on the other side, the scientists put in some small fish.  When the barracuda saw that helpless small fish, it kept on attempting to swim over, to prey on that small fish but it got blocked by that glass panel.  After countless times of failed attempts by the barracuda, it eventually gave up chasing that small fish.  By then, the  scientists removed the glass panel.  What happened next defies logic because both the barracuda and the small fish managed to co-exist without the barracuda ever attempting again to prey on that small fish.

Now this elephant story is much older than us all.  That's the story about the baby elephants and the rope wherein when the baby elephants are still small, thin ropes tied them up and during their infancy, they'll struggle and pull at first but eventually they realize that they just can't break the rope.  And they eventually gave up.  Even after those baby elephants grew fast in size to become lumbering giants.  Question is, did they attempt to break out again ?  Nope, never at all.  

Whether we delve on the barracuda story or about the elephant, what's shaping is this compelling and clear moral for us, that is, in life, all sorts of invisible mental ropes exists and even if those ropes are fragile and enough, likely they are holding us back.  By then, we reach on our own conclusions and make or cancel a decision based on those assumptions.  Eventually, we forget to revisit those decisions in the past.  Those SELF-IMPOSED BLOCKERS now become our WASTED OPPORTUNITIES.

What do we do now ?  If we gotta change our mantra in life, JUST DO IT if doing that matters the most now.  The roads where we're travelling are littered with those invisible barriers that even influence and impact our mental conditioning to the extent that more often, that mental conditioning become our SHOW-STOPPERS, unfortunately.  What better way to do than for us to dismantle those SELF-IMPOSED BLOCKERs folks.✅✅✅

Have You Taken a Pulse Check Yet ?

Have You Taken a Pulse Check Yet ?

Fine, we're all still stuck into this long drawn pandemic.  Now, just a quick check:  when was the last time you have a taken your own PULSE CHECK ?  If I may guess, you hardly did [probably because of this pandemic] ?  And likely still, the last PULSE CHECK you had was way prior to the pandemic when your bosses sat down with you for your performance appraisal.

Thing is, it is immaterial and irrelevant to state that you hardly had taken a PULSE CHECK because we're still in this pandemic. Truth is, we should have egged ourselves to take a PULSE CHECK because this is all that matters.  Who else can best measure ourselves than us ?  Why can't we measure up to our top performers at work?

Why is Japan popularly known as the LAND OF THE RISING SUN ?  It's more than just because the sun rises first in Japan.  Its generational work ethics is what brings the Japanese, generation to generation, crossing over to the latest challenges today.  They had that tragic 1923 earthquake.  They lost in WWII.  They got submerged by those huge tsunamis recently but where are they now?

What we have learned from the Japanese is their hard core work ethics that never waivered or withered through generations.  Ironically, Japanese are compared against Americans because while the latter are self-motivated. Japanese have unconditionally embraced that 'GROUP MENTALITY' wherein they always look up to their superiors for approval. 

At the end of day, get back to yourself and when you do a PULSE CHECK, figure out if you are genuinely happy and proud enough as to how you have carried on with life OR do you have that guilt feeling because you have not done MORE THAN ENOUGH for your health, MORE THAN ENOUGH for your family, MORE THAN ENOUGH for your work and MORE THAN ENOUGH for yourself.  If you fail in any of these benchmarks, indeed you FAILED but do a CATCH UP dude, redefine yourself now❗❗❗

How's the Tread of Your Tires ?

 How's the Tread of Your Tires ?

Hmmmm, how often do we check the TREAD of our TIRES ?  Likely rarely I guess.  And likely you'll get the time [finally] to check the TREAD of your TIRES only and before you go for a long drive. Conclusion:  if you were not going for a long drive, you would have not thought of checking the TREAD of your TIRES.  Note that we have our own TIRES in LIFE.  Our MOTIVATION in LIFE is akin to the TIRES of the vehicles.  The tire treads need to be reasonable enough to handle and pre-empts any slips and where necessary, to be able to guarantee that grip of the roads. 

Who has not suffered flat tires ?  It happens even in life.  Those are the moments when our tank gets emptied, when our energies are drained, when our very own selves feel zapped.  True that even if your tire is well treaded, you would suffer a flat tire but here's the big IF.  IF your tire's treads does not mean the accepted benchmarking, then your tire becomes more vulnerable, right ?

BAD ATTITUDE, any ?  Yes everyone does have it [I myself I had tons and tons of it in the past], there's nothing to hide about it.  Analogous to the tires, a bad attitude is often compared to flat tires because a bad attitude will bring you nowhere in life.  Such is the case for flat tires too.  Dude, do a QUICK FIX of your bad attitude so you can move on in life.  Otherwise, that will be a 'baggage you will be carrying on as a burden.  And frankly, your success tracker will get heavily hit with lots of misses when your life is peppered with BAD ATTITUDE.  So you gotta do a QUICK FIX.

I got a Russian colleague with whom I share the same brand/model of our SUV but there is a marked difference though.  I just got a set of tires whereas he maintains two full sets of tires to cater for the winter season.  And it's the same best practices all over again. Whether you're in winter season or not, you gotta keep a close eye on the treads of your tire.  Where the treads have thinned out or at worst, if they have worn out, your life is on the line.  You just can't accept that risk in your life, right ?

We can debate overnight if there are 5 or ten or a hundred things we can control in our life but there's one thing that's non-debatable.  If you feel your life is moving south and getting uncontrolled, you gotta arrest that skid, fix the TREAD of your LIFE.  Worn out tires are akin to a rolling coffin [and you DON'T deserve that].  Instead, ensure that your MOTIVATION in LIFE remains as treaded as possible so that your life can continue to have a tight GRIP of the terrain folks✅✅✅

Are You 'ADRIFT AT SEA' ?

Are You 'ADRIFT AT SEA' ?

How's things ?  ARE YOU 'ADRIFT AT SEA' ?  Hope not but if you do, it's never late.  What we need to do and act on is to recognize that, indeed, our life seems 'ADRIFT AT SEA'.  Acknowledging that we're 'ADRIFT AT SEA' is the first step for us to turn around the direction and its trajectory towards the north [instead of going down south].  Truth of the matter, if our life seems 'ADRIFT AT SEA', it will be akin to a purpose-less life. It will be similar to a boat with no sail, a ship that sails rudderless.  Reason being, we got to live a PURPOSEFUL LIFE and no less than that.  If we simply redirect our pointing fingers to our parents as the reason for us to exist, that is self-defeating and it negates the very reason[s] for our existence.

Instead, being 'ADRIFT AT SEA' necessitates that the FIX is as urgent as it is given the survival mode of the current state.  When you wake up every morning with no crystal-clear plan what to accomplish for the day, that by itself manifests that you are likely 'ADRIFT AT SEA'.  Dan Pena, the $50Billion mogul said:  'YOU MUST BE ACCOUNTABLE TO YOURSELF'.  If you DON'T hold yourself accountable enough, surely, you will come up with all the left and right reasons why you CAN'T do this and that.  

Brendon Burchard, the New York Times #1 Best-selling author said: MORTALITY MOTIVATION is founded on these questions we need to ask ourselves, i.e. DID YOU LIVE, DID YOU LOVE, DID YOU MATTER. If your answer in any of these three interrogatives is NOT in the affirmative, you are in dire straits and you gotta fix things up, pronto.  And even in a worst case scenario wherein you go through the worst of things [like surviving a major accident], you're still here for a reason, so you gotta earn that blessing.

To quote Ralph Marston from The Daily Motivator, 'IT IS NOT EASY TO LIVE A PURPOSEFUL LIFE.  BUT WHAT'S FAR WORSE IS A MEANINGLESS LIFE.'  Oh, this can't be farther from the truth.  If you breath for life with little or no purpose at all, doesn't that give you a meaningless life ?

Respective inspirational speaker Robert Quinn was quoted that finding and having a purposeful life 'ADDS UP TO YOUR YEARS'.  If we need to go into transformative learning, this means re-tooling ourselves and redefining our mantra to avert those frustrating stories where one is led to lead a hollowed life.  BTW, studies show that most people fail in life NOT BECAUSE they aimed HIGH and failed BUT BECAUSE they aimed LOW and many times, THEY NEVER HIT AT ALL.  Where do we go from here ❓❓❓

Are You 'OUT OF THE WOODS' Yet ?

Are You 'OUT OF THE WOODS' Yet ?

A lot of us [including me, in the past] thought that life can be as clear and as smooth as silk.  And when we got trapped in the woods, we did try to wiggle out of those situations and presto, we managed to extricate ourselves, albeit often times bruised and scathed.  After hitting those lowest points, it drives us to foolishly think that from that point onwards, the road we're trekking is devoid of any pitfalls, any traps.

In real life, we would get trapped in those woods more often than not.  Challenges will push us to the wall.  Those 'uphill climbs' will drive us crazy and drain us with all our energies until we almost get drained, till our fuel tanks almost gets emptied.  Too bad, many us never get into that realization.  Hence the vicious cycle.

But who can blame us humans.  Once we're in the clear, amnesia creeps in.  We tend to miss out that life is peppered with pitfalls, with booby traps, with planted land mines all over.  How to extricate ourselves from the woods should always be our overriding goal.  And even before we reach another wooded area, let us anticipate that somewhere down the road, we'll pass through it because there's no other way.

Truth of the matter, in the past, i sometimes got fearful of the future because, knock on wood, I knew it that down the road, i'll end up in the woods all over again.  That was a dilemma I had to overcome with tons of rethinking and soul searching, asking myself how far will I survive.  To set the tone, I managed to re-shape my mindset in such a way that being trapped in the woods didn't deter me anymore.  On the other hand, I started telling myself that I'm prepared for it.

So what's our trick then ? Let's remind ourselves over and over again that being trapped in the woods DOESN'T MATTER at all.  THAT you're mentally ready for it.  THAT you're "ALL IN" and "LOCKED IN" for it.  THAT you're ready for the long haul.  THAT you're resilient enough if along the way you get bruised and scarred.  In short, let's 'ACCLIMATIZE' ourselves to being in the woods.  If we live amidst problems, we can overcome it ONE AT A TIME though.❗❗❗

Does $$$$$$ Buy You HAPPINESS ?

Does $$$$$$ Buy You HAPPINESS ?

Who doesn't love money.  We all love it damn crazy but hold on a second.  Can we reaffirm to ourselves that in our pursuit of our DREAMS, of your GOALS, of well-meaning FRIENDS, of HAPPINESS, of LOVE, all those bundles and tons of monies will be good enough to see us through it ?  Sadly not at all folks.  In fact, all those monies are a non-factor because they DON'T solidify your situation in a favorable manner.  Monies DON'T strengthen your standing across all fronts.  Monies DON'T favorably shape things in our life if money is the 'BE ALL' of everything.

Oh, let's pluck out BILL GATES and JEFF BEZOS and do a quick compare.  What commonalities do they share ?  Obviously, they're seating on top heaps and heaps of monies as the world's top billionaires. Guess what other commonality do they share ?  Yessirrrrrrrs, one after the other, they grabbed the headlines of all newswires and across social media.  WHY ?  Yesssirs they both got divorced as well.   Ironically, they share a lot of commonalities including that harsh reality that after amassing their billions of $$$$$, both their marriages did end in breakups.  

We love those holidays at Ha Long Bay and Bali but "WHEN THE PARTY'S OVER", we're back to where we last left and stood on.  The thing is, in life, we have been awakened so many times, with life's lessons being taught on us that all those pursuit for monies for it be the "BE ALL" is the worst mockery of our life's goals because to achieve our goals, we need to build the foundations of a true character.

Don't get me wrong please.  Money itself is neither good or bad.  It's just a medium of exchange.  What you choose your money for may be good or it may be bad .  How you use your money is a REFLECTION of WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU VALUE.  Whether it's good or bad is as much your own judgment on how you spend your money as it is a judgment passed on by others who observe how you use it.  In the end, it all comes back to your ETHICS and your character.  Having money isn't evil.  Earning money isn't evil.  

The next chapters in your storied life will be shaped, influenced and dictated by YOU and not external factors.  Influences, both good and bad, are always part of the equations in life but at the end of the day, you call the shots and the buck stops on your desk, no less.  In brief, LET NOT MONEY MUDDLE YOUR LIFE❗❗❗

Is Your WEEKEND a 'WEAK END' ?

Is Your WEEKEND a 'WEAK END' ?

No pun intended.  BTW how's your weekend going? Can't blame many of us.  Ever since calendars were first used way back 1700s and later when Gregory came up with his Gregorian calendar in 1852, we're all hostaged by calendars such that businesses and even our daily lives are dictated by the calendar.  And that's where our problem lies.  We got so framed with weekdays such that weekends became our respite from the rigors of life.  But the $64 question is, DO WE REALLY ALWAYS NEED WEEKENDs ?

Ok let me pre-empt everyone by blurting a resounding "NO" !&%#?  Yes sometimes we do need weekends for specific family errands and priorities but that's about all.  But other than those 'MUST DO's, weekends should NOT be blocked off as our days to 'turn off and shutdown' because life goes on even on weekends.  Life does NOT have a power button to shut it off [else you will end up lifeless].  But at the end of the day, it's 'YOUR CALL'.

Everyone knows and hears TGIF.  That used to be my favorite expression EVERY FRIDAY, as in EVERY FRIDAY.  Not until I realized that unless I have a 'MUST DO' on a Saturday, almost all of my SATURDAYs are gone wasted.  DON'T get me wrong.  Prior to this pandemic, bringing my family for weekend malling was part of our sched and that just makes sense because you need to spend QUALITY TIME with your family.

So here we are, going back a full circle harping and hoping that your WEEKENDS do not become your 'WEAK END'.  How can WEEKENDS become your 'WEAK END' ?  One too many probabilities.  You procrastinate doing the necessary fixes in your home.  You spend your weekend going for a movie binge in Netflix or Viu.  Or social media gobbling up 99.99% of your time.  Or you just go for those endless counts of laziness in life.  Or frankly, just wasting your time with endless runs of nosy gossips that give you ZERO-benefits except becoming a 'certified busybody'.  And you might ask how your weekend turns into a WEAK END ?  Easy.  You wasted all your precious time over the weekend.

So, frankly and bluntly, SATURDAYS and even SUNDAYs are not being served 'a la cart blanche'.  You gotta earn for it before you can truly deserve a SATURDAY, a SUNDAY or both.  Else, i'll piggy-back on this poster which tells us that GRIND means GET READY IT'S A NEW DAY [and that includes SATs and SUNs].  Otherwise, please let us do a reboot and reset of our mindsets to remove SATs and SUNs as weekends that mean we could just lazy up.  

Now here's the deal, to quote: "IF YOU'RE STILL BROKE, THE GRIND INCLUDES SUNDAY".  Indeed this is non-negotiable.  There is no respite in life UNLESS/EXCEPT you have achieved the pinnacle of your 'defined success'.  And even then, once you reached atop after your most recent success, treat it as just another milestone success and then, SCALE-UP because SUCH IS LIFE✅✅✅

Find Your SPARK and Bring that SPARK to LIFE

Find Your SPARK and Bring that SPARK to LIFE

Who doesn't need 'SPARKS' in life ?  Everyone does and it becomes our very helpline but before we even dilly-dally about this helpline, we need to agree that there are points in our life when the days seem so hard and gruelling, those points in time when and where you're literally struggling, seemingly at the edge of the cliff.

Before anything else, even when at times we seem to have lost our 'sharpness', we still need to be sharp enough to detect the tell-tale signs that we have lost that SPARK in life.  DEPRESSION and ANXIETY are the most common major triggers but there is a long list of the possible triggers.  At the end of the day, you need to figure out when your 'LIFE SEEMS LIFELESS'.

You could be a voracious reader but one day, you might notice that you're struggling to read [even if you seem to do your darn best].  You could be a student who started the academic term 'running and sprinting' until you reached a point where anything about your academics just sucks.  You just wanna damp it off.

So here you go.  You don't even have to consult for counselling as long as you discern any of these things that seem symptomatic of you losing your SPARK:  You tend to be CYNICAL.  You feel to RUN AWAY.  You're MESSING UP even normal tasks.  You seem TIRED frequently.  You seem DISGRUNTLED.  You keep SELF-DOUBTING yourself and many times you're SICK !  

What then do we do next ?  Simple.  Let's IGNITE our SPARK.  Anything and everything that needs to go full throttle needs to be IGNITED.  First off though, you need to appreciate that's going on in your life, even the seemingly bad ones.  How ?  By telling yourself that THINGS COULD'VE BEEN WORSE ?  Then, do CHALLENGE all of your irrational thoughts.  Find something you can do FOR YOURSELF, everyday.  Lastly, commit to yourself that you're here to catch your second wind and you're COMMITTED FOR THE LONG HAUL.  Translate these rah-rahs into action and you'll go full throttle.✅✅✅

Butterflies in our Stomach

Butterflies in our Stomach

How many times have we experienced being either anxious or nervous [for whatever reasons]?  Likely we have experienced it many many times uttering, 'I GOT BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH'.  And that's fine.  What is not fine is we leave things that way when instead, we should have sat down and ponder not why it happened but rather, COULD YOU HAVE HANDLED IT IN A MUCH BETTER WAY ?  Being nervous has always a human element embedded but would have it been possible to be LESS nervous?

Come to think of it, in 90% of our real life scenarios, we get nervous NOT because of the situation but rather it should be faulted back to us.  For a student taking the exams come next day, did you 'burn the midnight oil' reviewing ?  For a worker, was your output 100% ZERO-DEFECT, 100% WITHIN SPECS and SUBMITTED WITHIN TIME-FRAME ?  if you're an entrepreneur, how's your financials ? Is your cash flow sufficient for the next payroll and other operational costs ? Likely, you're 'in the red'.

Besides NERVOUSNESS causing those butterflies in your stomach, think of those moments of FEAR and ANXIETY.  How well did you anticipate something imminently unfavorable but you just looked the other way.  Been there, done that.  That faux pas wherein an upcoming problem is about to explore right in your face yet rather than plan for a 'damage control', you literally ignore its coming by looking at the other side of things.  FEAR and ANXIETY are not life-threatening challenges that leaves you paralyzed.

These are all 'off the shelf' antidotes.  FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CHANGE.  Means, take action on what is within your control.  DISSECTING things to figure out what's really bothering you.  DIVERT on thoughts and things that will mean less anxiety.  And of course, take a deep breathe and if you're into yoga, those solitary moments are shots in your arms.

Or you could be in the midst of things, caught within the crossroads and stalled in the middle.  Sounds familiar.  Been there.  Done that.  How did I get over that hump?  I sat down, scribbled a "T" column, listing all the upsides of one particular decision and its downsides.  Thereafter I did a compare and simply put, if the upsides did outweigh the downsides, it becomes a no-brainer. If it becomes a close call, then it becomes a judgment call.  In a nutshell, YOU GOT TO TAKE A STAND.  NEVER BE A FENCE-SITTER because you'll lose by default.  Believe me, dude.❗❗❗