If You're Not On The Table, You're On The Menu

If You're Not On The Table, You're On The Menu

Good day sirrrrs, hoping everything is fine at your end.  Ooooooops no sirrrrs. our thread today has got nothing to do with culinary arts but it's all about life, those numerous situations where you're neither here nor there but essentially, what we like to underscore here is that If You're Not On The Table, You're On The Menu📌📌📌

Briefly. what this thread tells us is that, ideally in life, you need to be 'part of the equation'.  At home, either as an immediate family member, spouse/partner or even a child grown up enough, it pays that ypu're a part of general discussions, brainstorming and even planning an activity or family event.  WHY?  Because your inputs would matter and as such your voice need to be heard⏳⏳⏳

Whereas, many times in the past, I can attest to having witnessed frustrating instances when someone was just fine being at the fringes of things, letting everyone else brainstorm and he'll just ride on the bandwagon when it's time to.  WHAT does that make of him.  Bluntly, one becomes inutile, useless unless he's at a senile phase of his life💎💎💎

You can even initiate something so you become a part of the equation.  When I was still a Singaporean citizen, i made a conscious decision to VOLUNTEER as a Probation Officer at its Ministry of Community Development.  Once I get assigned cases, I was at the forefront of helping reform juvenile delinquents and that gave me a SENSE of FULFILLMENT even $$$$$ can't buy✅✅✅

What did I get out of VOLUNTEERISM?  You'll be surprised though with its enormous benefits.  Volunteering offers vital help to people in need.  The right VOLUNTEER match can help you connect with the community, learn new skills and even advance your career.  Most importantly, this tells us that while it's NOT the end of the world IF YOU'RE NOT ON THE TABLE,  there are multiple ways for you to be part of the equation and BE RELEVANT in life❗❗❗

Our Life Is A Container

Our Life Is A Container    

Recently, our thread was about opportunities compared to the immense sheets of the ocean.  BUT please DON'T misconstrue me that I'm implying that life itself is akin to an ocean.  No sirrrrrs.  On the other hand, Our Life Is A Container, no more, no less.  We DON'T even need to talk about the capacity or size of any or all of the containers because it's NOT about the capacity but rather, the fact that our life is within a container, there is one trap.  We must be constantly wary to avoid any contamination from within [the container]💊💊💊

One of the most unfortunate [but unseen] contaminations in life is FORGIVENESS.  To quote from www.invajy.com, "BY FORGIVING, YOU DON'T FORGIVE THE PERSON WHO DID SOMETHING WRONG BUT YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF".  Truth is, if/when someone offends you [and you DON'T forgive], that is akin to ruining your very own life.  You just can't take life too seriously.  People will hurt you and you will hurt others.  Holding on to grudges will only blind you from focusing on what is truly important⏳⏳⏳

WHEN you live in REGRETS, you're likely contaminating [and RUINING] your life.  Listen, your past CANNOT be changed.  Learn from it and move on.  Living in REGRETS only saps your positive ENERGY and distracts you from possibilities in life.  WHEN you start comparing yourself to others, you'll be 'contaminating' your container.  There is nothing as AWFUL as degrading as trying to compare yourself with others.  We are all unique, so why try to compare yourself with someone who is NOT you📌📌📌

WHEN $$$$$$$ is raining, life is good but once we believe that $$$$$$ will make you happy, I'm afraid that MAY lead your life towards being ruined.  Money offers you freedom but there are many simple things in life that will make you happy and they DON'T require any money, seriously.  Draining your life and focusing all your attention on wealth can really make you distraught.  And when you're NOT grateful, you can be on the wrong path.  Gratitude means to appreciate the things you have.  If you are thankful, you will be at peace💎💎💎

In a nutshell, we want our lifetime journey to be free from any contamination, any negativity that will spread out within our container, our life.  BUT admittedly, this is easier said than done because our lifetime journey is one hell of a treacherous trek where our mettle will be tested.  But the best safeguards we can get embedded in our life is to safeguard our life from any that leans and leads towards negativities because at the end of the day, even your health will be at the receiving end.  So, let's live a life as bright as the sunlight and as green as the leaves in summer✅✅✅

Keep Digging Till You Get It

Keep Digging Till You Get It

Life never runs out of narratives how people rolled up their sleeves and toiled till his energy got drained.  To quote former Republican Congressman Newt Gingrich, "PERSEVERANCE IS THE HARD WORK YOU DO AFTER YOU GET TIRED OF DOING THE HARD WORK YOU ALREADY DID". So, we're taught from a young age that 'WE CAN DO ANYTHING THAT WE PUT OUR MINDS TO".  But hey, what about when your mind is working against you?  How do you keep going then?  Keep Digging Till You Get It📌📌📌

We all have days when we want to run away and relax at the beach.  BUT, unless you're actually going to drop everything and become a travel writer, it's probably NOT a realistic escape plan.  A better one is to lock at how you motivate yourself.  Sometimes, it's really easy to persevere.  However, motivation can all too easily slip away⏳⏳⏳

Oh, studies tell us that we should NOT blame our own selves for sometimes feeling like we want to run and hide.  You can be flying through a task only to get bogged down in the detail.  You may find it more difficult and more time-consuming than you anticipated.  OR, you might be good at coming up with new ideas but lose interest in the execution.  After the first wave of enthusiasm, doubts creep in and sometimes you might think "AM I REALLY UP TO THE TASK?"  Studies show that our motivation changes as we move towards our goal.  We're inspired by hope and positive outcomes at the beginning.  BUT, as we continue, we start to focus on responsibilities and the fear of negative outcomes.  And often, ir is often this FEAR that halts our progress💎💎💎

Indeed, it can become a demoralizing spiral.  You leave a trail of unfinished or poorly handled tasks in your wake.  And every morning you lie in bed, hitting snooze on your alarm, filled with the doom-laden sense that you'll never finish or succeed.  We may never know quite how much we could achieve if only we tried✅✅✅

And this leads us back to MOTIVATION because that's the only factor that will keep you digging till you get it.  In fact, MOTIVATION is often the result of an action [rather than the cause of it]  so we're really hoping that let you keep digging till you get it❗❗❗

When Your Strength Becomes Your Weakness

When Your Strength Becomes Your Weakness

Our strengths are often hard-earned [even if sometimes we refuse to admit it [all because of our misplaced ego].  BUT the truth is, they must be recognized, developed and then deployed in a precise manner to make them useful.  Regardless of the path you took to embrace your STRENGTHS, it really does take time and effort but the biggest 'TRAP' is When Your Strength Becomes Your Weakness💎💎💎

Note that your STRENGTHS may also be a big part of how others value your contributions.  However, your hard-earned strengths can become your weaknesses as well.  It is all too easy to slide into the habit of turning to personal STRENGTHS to solve every problem that comes along, regardless if it is the right tool for the job.  Example, decisive people often charge ahead to get to a solution BUT sometimes, a more measured approach best fits⏳⏳⏳

But hey, there are workaround to mitigate that risk of our strengths turning into our weakness.  First off, TAKE A MOMENT BEFORE TAKING ACTION.  That ability to make quick decisions and having a bias toward action are valuable STRENGTHS that can 'MOVE MOUNTAINS'.  Before making that BIG DECISION, take a moment to invite feedback and look into options📌📌📌

Next, ACKNOWLEDGE THE STRENGTH GAP.  Having a specific STRENGTH isn't a weakness per se.  BUT, it may imply that there are other STRENGTHS that you may be missing or something which you can improve on.  Example in the workplace, if the majority of your team excels in research, due diligence and fact gathering, there may be a STRENGTH  gap in something equally important, such as compelling and concise communications.  Identifying existing STRENGTH GAPS is a first step✅✅✅

Next, just DON'T GET TOO COMFORTABLE as unless you make it a priority to recognize and work on your weaknesses, your STRENGTH may become a crutch.  In can BLIND you to other options and make you hesitant to appear vulnerable or to ask for help.  Getting out of your comfort zone can help keep your STRENGTH from becoming 'THE ONLY TOOL in your toolbox.  Avert your STRENGTH ending up as your WEAKNESS❗❗❗

How Are You Taking Those Punches

How Are You Taking Those Punches

Life is full of UPs and DOWNs.  One day you may feel like you have figured things out BUT in a moment's notice, you're suddenly thrown in a CURVE BALL.  BTW, you're NOT alone in these predicaments.  Everyone has to face their own set of challenges and learning how to overcome such challenges will help you stay centered and remain calm.  So, How Are You Taking Those Punches

But here's the tricky part.  Each of us got our own preferences how to face a challenge in life.  I can attest to this when I gave my unsolicited advice [and tons of HELP] for a family member but that's the farthest I can go.  He can ignore my piece of advice and that's about it.  But having said this, there are fundamental ways of facing our challenges in life⏳⏳⏳

Topping these best practices is to always MAKE A PLAN.  While you DON'T know what is going to happen in the future, you can always plan ahead.  Look at the patterns in your life and see the challenges you struggled most💎💎💎

Next, BE AWARE that YOU'RE NOT ALONE.  Every one of us has his 'LOW POINTS' and some may handle [or even HIDE] it better than others.  But the truth is, whatever you are going through, there are others who have been through it too.  Then, ASK FOR HELP.  There's no point to feel ashamed to ASK FOR HELP whether it's with your loved one , a mentor, a friend or worst, even a stranger.  Thereafter, FEEL YOUR FEELINGS✅✅✅

By masking your feelings, they are NOT going away.  Rather, feelings become TRAPPED ENERGY and can even have negative health consequences when they are ignored.  Take some time to feel what you feel.  This way, you may be able to see your situation in a new list.  HOW you're TAKING THOSE PUNCHES is what matters most in life❗❗❗

Smishing, Anyone?

Smishing, Anyone?

Oh, I was hesitant to have SMISHING as our thread for today because I thought we have had an information overflow already with regard all the FRAUDULENT tricks happening around us.  BUT, having received this latest alert from my banker that 70% of those who received fraudulent SMS get scammed ! And that from the total mobile users, 35% have received those fraudulent SM, whew❗❗❗

Oh, DON'T let the funny name confuse you because SMISHING is a major scam that could cost you BIG BUCKS.  While a text message or SMS may seem quite normal, it could be from someone with malicious intent, probably someone who wants to steal your IDENTIFY, your BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER, amongst others.  Even the cyber security company PROOFPOINT found that 74% of companies faced these texting attacks✅✅✅

But things DON'T stop there because scammers are sending SCAM TEXTS or SMS to fool us individuals with this this SMISHING.  Do take note SMISHING is different from PHISHING scams and other scams targeting iPhone security.  It can affect anyone who texts or send SMS regardless of smartphone model and fraudsters can claim they're from IRS [in the U.S.] or IRAS [in Singapore] or, hold your breath, from your bank📌📌📌

BTW, the text messages or SMS are, at the very least, shocking, scary.  Messages like:  "WE'VE NOTICED SUSPICIOUS or LOG-IN ATTEMPTS" or "THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ACCOUNT or PAYMENT" or "YOU MUST CONFIRM YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION" or "YOU'RE ELIGIBLE FOR A REFUND" or "YOU WON & YOU NEED TO CLAIM IT", amongst others, just one too many⏳⏳⏳

What does all these tell us? This is scary but I'd rather scare you to death rather you just 'DROP DEAD'.  The harsh reality is that fraudsters are light years ahead of even all the cyber security experts we have and they WON'T stop because of the allure of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Will You Show Up When The Light Is 'ON'?

Will You Show Up When The Light Is 'ON'?

Experiencing hardship and adversity should never be part of any 'BREAKING NEWS'.  Even our own world has been lurching from one crisis to another.  But we get hit hard by personal crisis and worst, personal traumas that we end up dealing with, not our choice though.  So, the biggest question, when we get hit with any of those crisis, Will You Show Up When The Light Is 'ON'❓❓❓

The loss of a loved one, declining health, unemployment, divorce, violent crimes or tragic accidents.  These are the last things we want to happen.  BUT let's face it, living through difficult times can take a heavy toll on our mood, health, and even outlook in life.  It can leave us feeling helpless and quite overwhelmed by stress and anxiety📌📌📌

We may be painfully grieving all that we've lost, flooded by a slew of difficult and conflicting emotions or worst, uncertain about how to move on with our life.   We may even feel that our life is totally getting out of control and you're powerless to affect whatever may happen next.  BUT while there's no way to avoid sorrow, adversity or distress in life, there are ways to help smooth the rough waters and regain a SENSE of CONTROL. RESILIENCE is that ability to cope with the loss, change and trauma that could have hit you💎💎💎

Thing is, building RESILIENCE can help you better adapt to life-changing events and cope with those turbulent times and bounce back from hardship or such tragedy.  QUESTION?  Why do some seem to cope much better during their troubling times❓❓❓

BTW, those difficult moments could be all about our relationship with our loved ones so building RESILIENCE can help you to maintain that POSITIVE outlook , face an uncertain future with LESS FEAR and get through even the darkest days in your life BUT here's the catch:  UNLESS you've faced adversity before, it's unlikely you've have that need to develop RESILIENCE but c'mon, you gotta SHOW UP WHEN THE LIGHT IS 'ON'❗❗❗

When Reality Sets In

When Reality Sets In    

Yes, we all live in the same world.  Nothing different on the surface but as we humans are indeed unique, we love to think it's our intelligence, our love for art, or the use of tools that seems to distinguish us from the rest?  Not too fast though.  What really makes us different from other living beings is that we create myths and live in a 'FAKE WORLD'.  That's When Reality Sets In because things will unravel📌📌📌

For us to better understand what does it mean to live in a WORLD of MYTHS, let's not look farther than the animals who act based on 'incentives' present in their physical world.  They when they're hungry, they avoid predators, and they seek to pass on their genes so the species survives.  Even when they make plans for the future, those plans are directly related to the physical realm.  How to approach the prey?  How to prepare for winter?  How to attract a mate?  Imagine if we promised a dog some monies in exchange for good behavior⏳⏳⏳

It may be hard to believe but most of the things we take for granted are NOT real.  Concepts such as money, human rights or even capitalism do exists only as a figment of our imagination.  They work because we want them to work and we genuinely believe the world is better that way.  Anything that is NOT present in our physical surroundings is simply a product of the stories we tell ourselves.  The INFLUENCERS are by no means extraordinary because they seem to have 'certain powers' only because everybody else believes that they do💎💎💎

More precisely, entrepreneurs believe that by giving INFLUENCERS some value, their business will thrive and survive with much more benefit in return.  Ironically, we are not wearing teflon clothes to shield us from any complicity with this.  WHY?  Note that many times we DON'T even know the names of our neighbors, though we feel 'CONNECTED' [thanks to social media] as it makes us behave in ways we normally WON'T in order to impress people we DON'T care about✅✅✅

We seek attention and instead of being ourselves, we [EVEN] try to impersonate somebody we're NOT.  Such behavior gives us 'LIKES' and 'CLAPS'.  Ironically, those approvals are FAKE as well.  Strategic liking and FOLLOW-for-FOLLOW are popular  in the social media platforms.  But hey folks, do we wake up only WHEN REALITY SETS IN❓❓❓

Always Have A Parachute In Life

Always Have A Parachute In Life

Need a PARACHUTE in life?  It's a LOUD YES sirrrrrrs, by all means.  During our infancy till our childhood when we were totally dependent to our parents, literally clinging to them, they were our very PARACHUTE in life.  Fast forward into our adulthood, we were very much on our own feet, like it or NOT.  But along the way, do we need to have a PARACHUTE as a contingency?  Absolutely folks. This is a no-brainer. For one singular but compelling reason, we gotta  Always Have A Parachute In Life and we'll go down and rattle off the most basic rationale why we'll insist that you Always Have A Parachute In Life💊💊💊

I just CAN'T fathom going through our daily life but with NO PARACHUTE for contingency?  So, why do we need one?  Simple.  In life, we got to always have a fallback, a contingency when things DON'T materialize as planned or expected.  There are just one too many WHAT IFs in life that should be more than enough to nudge and convince us all to always have that indispensable PARACHUTE⏳⏳⏳

You're finally stepping out of your parents' shadows and going out to the metropolis for the first time.  WHAT IF you ran out of money for your daily needs.  You thought you can take the risk of resigning from your current job because you just passed the first round of interview with that next employer.  WHAT IF your job application hits a snag along the way📌📌📌

When I first left my home country to try my luck in Singapore, I had a PARACHUTE to cover my back based on WHAT IFs.  When I took the plunge of working out of India to manage onsite a Pan-India-wide project, I had quite a long of WHAT IFs.  Amongst others, I registered at the Singapore Embassy for them to have a record that I was a resident in India that time [for contingency purposes]✅✅✅

During holidays when we need to bring our family for those forays to other countries, you could have a mile-long list of WHAT IFs that includes medical, financial contingencies.  So WHAT IF ypu DON'T have a PARACHUTE in life?  Not to scare you out, but it won't be far fetched to speculate that you might end up in utter failure and in worst cases, in a tragic failure❗❗❗

How Do We Handle Life's MOST STRESSFUL Points

How Do We Handle Life's MOST STRESSFUL Points

How Do We Handle Life's MOST STRESSFUL Points?  Shouldn't be tough because it should be the toughest though.  Let's cut the crap and single out the five most stressful life events as per studies are the death of a loved one, divorce, moving out, major illness or injury and a job loss.  All other challenges come below all these📗📘📙

It might feel like the STRESS is an emotional issues, something that lives somehow inside our head.  But studies say that STRESS can become a physical issue as well especially if we are to deal with these most stressful events in our life.  Worst thing about STRESS as per medical studies is that after experiencing stressful life events, there is an amount of 'STORED STRESS' that can contribute to symptoms and medical issues impacting digestion, immune system, anxiety, amongst others📌📌📌

As day-to-day stress takes its toll on us, we get constantly bombarded by threats and changes but because we DON'T usually literally fight or run, we end up staying REACTIVE.  In the end, we end up bathed and flooded in STRESS HORMONES.  To take a leaf from various studies, the common ground in their recommendations is for us, first and foremost, to TAKE ACTION.  Let's literally go ahead and get physically moving.  Never get stuck up and stalled in your house basement or cellar.  You got to 'REBOOT' your body to restore your physical stability💊💊💊

After TAKING ACTON, go and BREATHE.  Do hit that PAUSE button and tune into yourself.  Get into that mindfulness to engage in the moment.  Next, do FEEL GOOD.  Doctors advise that all it takes to FEEL GOOD is thirty seconds as it releases the same endorphins you get when you exercise💎💎💎

To quote famout blogger Wilson Kanadi, 'TO BE THE BEST, YOU MUST BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE WORST'.  And I can't agree less on this because going through the wringer with the worst events in our life, that will be the ultimate acid tests that will define your destiny.  Flop, you fail.  Not because you desire less in life but that will simply confirm that there is a shortfall between your survival point and your capability.  But once you get through life's most stressful events, that validates that you are primed to move as you managed to hurdle life's MOST STRESSFUL points✅✅✅