When Do You PULL THE PLUG

 When Do You PULL THE PLUG

Who says that life is a 'CAKE WALK' or a 'WALK IN THE PARK'? Yes, you can stroll at New York's Central Park when you're there but that's about it.  Otherwise, in life, there will be peaks and valleys, crests and troughs.  And as in all the storied lives, not all stories have a happy ending.  And for those stories with not so happy endings, that decision point as to When you have to PULL THE PLUG will likely be part of the equation.

Figuratively speaking, to PULL THE PLUG  means coming to grips with a decision that you would rather not face because either of the options in your hands would like be unpalatable to say the least. Unfortunately, such is life.  There will be episodes where we hit rock bottom, with the skies crumbling down.

I remember heart-breaking stories where a family member continues to be on 'life support' and it's for the family to decide WHEN TO PULL THE PLUG.  And there are zillion stories not at that severity but nevertheless, there are many circumstances in our life when we need to decide as to WHEN TO PULL THE PLUG

If a couple 'in turmoil' for many years have been trying to save the relationship in vain, WHEN TO PULL THE PLUG is not the attractive solution but it could be the final fix.  If a business has been 'bleeding' and its owners getting into a debt situation that is ballooning beyond rescue, WHEN TO PULL THE PLUG is an option to seriously consider. If in the workplace, you have endured a constant scrutiny from your bosses despite all your best efforts, WHEN TO PULL THE PLUG may be the pill you need to swallow from thereon.

At the end of the day, WHEN TO PULL THE PLUG remains as one of the options that's always within our fingertips when all other ways to repair, resuscitate and rescue after you have endured a hell lot of battering, exhausting all cards.  If your toes are at the edges of a deep ravine, would you take the plunge or get that courage TO PULL THE PLUG as a last option❓❓❓

Do You Check All the Boxes

Do You Check All the Boxes

Do You Check All the Boxes?  Oh no, in the past, this was the last question we needed to ask because traditionally, it's all about CHECKLIST and nothing more.  So, if we see the Airbus/Boeing pilots go through the routine checklist prior to takeoff, that was nothing but routine.  But a myriad of things have evolved and changed over time such that this is one of the most favorite questions we would get confronted, be it in school, at work, in our relationships and in business initiatives.

If you're  jobseeker, the interview would seem boring as the hiring manager would likely ask about your civil status amongst others but before you know it, he rattles off a marathon list of questions generally answerable by YES or NO.  Yet as you remain oblivious, that hiring process seems to be running on a fast lane because that exercise will end up with the answer to the question if you have checked all the boxes

So, please DON'T get dumbfounded if the end result in life is either a PASS or FAILED because that's what the exercise is all about. A battalion of jobseekers need to be pruned down to a final shortlist before the 'hands down' choice gets to be 'anointed'.  Oh, we do admit that awaiting a 'verdict' is the most taxing experience but here's some tricks so that the 'wait' does not become an agony.

BTW, that question if you do CHECK ALL THE BOXES is not limited to the job hiring process.  You or someone else finding his/her lifetime partner will surely have that CHECKLIST as well and if it happens you're awaiting the 'verdict' so to speak, to soften the impact of a result that 'thumbs you down', figure out how you can get hold of do that checklist for you to CHECK ALL THE BOXES.  Up front, you can do a SELF-ASSESSMENT if you do fail at that stage, think about it if you still want to pursue it.

In a nutshell, frustrations of having failed to CHECK ALL THE BOXES can be averted or avoided 90% of the time if you did run that SELF-ASSESSMENT because if you failed that SELF-ASSESSMENT, why be stubborn and insist to pursue that attempt if things seem to point at a square peg in a round hole?  Being pragmatic and more accepting of the realities in life will likely lead you towards a life of significantly LESS FRUSTRATIONs even if you DON'T CHECK ALL THE BOXES❗❗❗

Do You 'STIR THE POT'?

Do You 'STIR THE POT'?

Yes, just a mundane question.  Do You 'STIR THE POT'?  If you're still in the academe, during group projects, are you just one of the team members and that's all?  In a relationship, is your spouse/partner running all the show by him/herself while you continue to ENJOY LIFE?  If you're a leader at your workplace, are you one who spends more time twiddling your pen or tirelessly moving your mouse as you browse tons of sites not related to your deliverables?  If you're the TOP GUN, are you at work just waiting for signoffs and approvals?

Yes folks.  Even these days where the supermarket displays offer you tons and tons of instant foodies which all you need to do is dump it all and voila!  Even then, sadly, somewhere along, you still need to 'STIR THE POT' when cooking because that's what's expected of you and from you.  No such thing as HANDS-FREE so you can dabble with your multi-tasking in life.  Oooops, BTW, a lot of our responsibilities in life just CAN'T be done HANDS-FREE.  You just got to grab that kitchen spoon or tong, whatever it takes, as long as you STIR THE POT because you got to STIR THE POT, period.

Frankly, this leads me to a quick discussion on being HANDS-ON.  In the old school in the corporate world, I can reminisce seating it up on my swivel chair, signing off and initiating approvals in between face-to-face meetings whether with stakeholders or clients.   At some point [and that was more than TEN [10] years back, I realized that that doesn't make sense anymore.  Had I resisted to change and re-invent myself, today I could be totally irrelevant [and INUTILE, frankly].  Today, even if you are at the CxO-level, you got to roll up your sleeves and deep dive and even micro-manage if that is warranted to either do a 'damage control' or to intervene and imprint your hands for an 'URGENT FIX'.  

If I have yet to swing you over with regard having an HANDS-ON mindset, let's swing over to the workplace and pick out the low hanging fruits of being HANDS-ON.  Primero, it is a major boost to EMPLOYEE RELATIONS.  When your team is made aware that you know your craft like the palm of your hands, what happens next?  TRUST is EARNED [and that is beyond debate I'm sure].

What else?  That will help you come up with INFORMED DECISIONS.  You can have a coterie of leaders reporting to you but once you signoff, NEVER SIGNOFF BLINDLY.  Bottom line is, every organization benefits when its managers assumes an active and HANDS-ON role at work.  The GOOD NEWS is, it doesn't require any special skill or training to become an effective and involved leader.  ALL YOU NEED is a no nonsense WORK ETHIC so please do STIR THE POT ❗❗❗

Surviving a Fine-tooth Comb

Surviving a Fine-tooth Comb

So sorry folks, today's piece is NOT about hair care at all.  I'm just pulling an analogy here as regards us surviving in life after we get combed with a fine-tooth oomb.  This means when our life gets into those 'INSCRUTABLE SCRUTINIES' akin to a laboratory microscope.  Too bad, being under scrutiny is one of the harsh realities in life because much as we hate it, there will always be snoopers, gossipers, intruders and kibitzers who tend to mind other lives.

To put things in perspective, a scrutiny per se is NOT necessarily a negative action because there are circumstances when, by circumstance, we are under scrutiny despite that no one consciously aims for it.  If in school you're struggling, your academic mentors could put you in a scrutiny because they are looking for tell-tale signs to justify their final ratings for your academics.  

At work, if you are a newbie, both your leaders and peers may likely be scrutinizing you like a fine-tooth comb because that is part and parcel of the situation.  They need to have a good feel of your work traits and quality of work.  You might blurt 'WHY?' Oh well, TRUST needs to be established especially in the workplace and what more appropriate approach to figure out TRUSTING you as a newbie than watching you, scrutinizing per se.

Even technology itself just gave more impetus to a digitized fine-tooth combs in the guise of CCTV cameras.  And those CCTV cameras were put in place for a purposeful need and NOT just to snoop around, breaching privacy.

Now comes the scrutiny via social media.  Where else can we escape from that digitized fine-tooth comb?  To handle this conundrum, let us accept that when you STAND OUT, that fine-tooth comb is not far to happen next.  If you hurdle with aplomb a scrutiny, your credibility will be boosted and perception about you will GO UP NORTH.  So, a fine-tooth comb is NOT that bad after all❗❗❗
 

Bet On The 'LONG PLAY'

Bet On The 'LONG PLAY'

Betting is NOT an issue in life as long as betting does NOT 'TAKE OVER' your life.  Frankly, as long as one's gambling does NOT become CHRONIC impacting your finances, your family and your life, then that's fine.  But again the 'BEST BET' has always been to Bet On The 'LONG PLAY'.  So, what exactly does this mean?

To be precise and brutally frank, many of those I've known to be so deeply embedded with betting have a common denominator.  And that is to WIN BIG and that has to happen in the near, short term.  Too bad, even in the non-gambling aspects of our life, we tend to be influenced by that betting mindset.

Many times, PLANNING SEEMS EASY, as if to decide what you'll take for lunch is as simple as planning for your future.  But no folks.  More frequently, planning is DIFFICULT.  From lack of resources to lack of vision , not knowing where to start things and even how to start, all these make planning unpredictable.  But to Bet On The 'LONG PLAY' is not rocket science.  When to plan for the short-term versus the long-term is all that matters then.

Clearly, short-term goals should be limited to a career goal like job hunting, academic goals like taking a marketing course, a personal development like registering to join a gym or financially, to pay off debt.  Definitely those are for the short termn.  Now, to bet on the LONG PLAY could include a career goal like building up your business, an academic goal like enrolling for a master's degree in an Ivy League school or a personal development to learn a foreign language.

 

Worth quoting Ingvar Kamprad, the IKEA founder who said "IMPORTANT TO THINK WHERE WE SHOULD BE IN 200 YEARS".  Of course that is hyperbole but in essence, this tells us, planning should NOT be dealt similarly across because medium and long term planning is akin to BETTING ON THE LONG PLAY✅✅✅

Can You Carry Water?

Can You Carry Water?

Oooops you might pause and ask as to why do we need to spend today's piece just about our ability to carry water?  Indeed, it seems just so mundane and simply uninteresting to waste our time on this thread.  But HOLD ON.  Can we at least agree that water is within that short list of most basic needs for us to survive and live life?  With us getting aligned with this baseline, we can take on the next step to agree that learning to carry on the weight of water itself is akin for us to take on the multifarious responsibilities in life.  Oh, while I do envy those born with a silver spoon in their mouth, deeper inside, I really DON'T envy because let's face it, when we DON'T get exposed to the trials and tribulations in life, it deprives us to get exposed and roll up our sleeves to experience the hardship and all the sweats in life.

This explains why people who really live life the hard way get to be developed and trained as LIFE-READY.  "YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO LEARN THE HARD WAY" is probably one snippet of advice that you've heard all too often from well-meaning parents and your close coterie of friends.  BUT here's the BUT.  

Researches suggest that the "HARD WAY"  can at times be a more efficient teacher, and letting students struggle before offering guidance may lead to deeper conceptual understanding and the ability to transfer what was learned to new problems.  This phenomenon hs been dubbed "PRODUCTIVE FAILURE" at the National Institute of Education in Singapore.  The study explained that although it is unlikely that students will be

able to solve problems that require an understanding of concepts they haven't learned yet, the process of generating even an incorrect solution can be productive in preparing students to learn better.  The research study further states that 'FAILURE PROVIDES INFORMATION OF WHAT IS WORKING AND WHAT IS NOT, THEREBY CREATING AN AWARENESS OF WHAT IS MISSING'.

Considering the potential benefits of allowing students to struggle, the study suggests a rather novel approach to teaching and learning, namely 'DESIGNING FOR FAILURE' or in other words, intentionally setting things up so that a learner will need to fail before he succeeds.  Indeed, the HARD WAY to learn carrying water [in life]✅✅✅

Can We Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?

Can We Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?

Life seems good and indeed life can be damn good if we're on a shopping splurge.  Think of being there at Harrod's in the UK or along Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.  Or how about the online splurge you have at Amazon's as you keep clicking ADD TO CART till you realized you got to CHECKOUT to consummate the transaction.  But without devaluing all those, how about stepping back in life?  Can We Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?

Hey, why are we egging you to Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?  Simple and no-brainer.  First off.  Likely it will cost you very little if at all.  In fact, a lot of little things won't cost any.  Yet, think of it.  You will still end up enjoying those cost-free little things as much as those big things which costs you an arm and a leg.  But again, if we're not 'IN SYNC' now, we need to initiate a paradigm shift no less.

Admittedly, we can only blame our increasing purchasing power + that lure of effortless shopping.  You might challenge me again and ask:  Can We REALLY Enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'?  Yes you can, we can but you need to recalibrate yourself.  Cut your umbilical cord that ties you up to anything that's monetized $$$.

You don't even need to fly off to Maldives to enjoy a good holiday.  If you live not so far from the beaches, driving for a couple of hours to get to the beach should not be a hurdle.  Whereas if your domicile is deep within the mountain-side, why not enjoy the lush greeneries of the rain forest?  BTW, last month, I brought my family to a low-budget trip to enjoy being in the rainforest.  So, yes we can enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'.

Or it could be one solitary sunflower which you can enjoy and appreciate all rolled into one.  I remember last month I did a WALK-IN order at a local Shakey's branch and the store supervisor [who has known me as a regular the past years] surprised me by handing over one solitary sunflower alongside all the foodies I ordered and curtly he said, "HAPPY MOTHER's DAY" for your wife.  Oh, at no cost, I ended up going home, surprising my wife with that solitary sunflower.  Yet, you can guess how my wife reacted when I reached home with that solitary sunflower.  Indeed, we CAN still enjoy the 'LITTLE THINGS'☝☝☝

Whether It's Overt or Covert, BE WATCHFUL

Whether It's Overt or Covert, BE WATCHFUL

This one-liner that got to catch my attention was that Netflix The Blacklist movie wherein American actor James Spader plays as a master criminal turned confidential informant of the FBI wherein he aptly stated that 'THINGS ARE SO CROOKED LIKE THE CORSICAN HIGHWAY'.  What this picture tells us is that indeed, the Corsican Highway is so obviously crooked, period.

So what's in it for us today?  It is to look back into our life when things end up either as OVERT or COVERT.  Either way, we will be likely threading in dangerous waters so it behooves for us to BE WATCHFUL but before diving into that dissection, let's agree how they are defined.  And I'd quote Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's character, Sherlock Holmes: "IT'S SO OVERT. IT'S COVERT".

Unfortunately in life, we were all schooled to look at things as either BLACK or WHITE.  And that old school of thought NEVER prepared us to BE WATCHFUL when BLACK seems WHITE or vice versa.  When we swing over to our zillion personalities across the global village, it is no less mind boggling.  How can we relate to somewhere who looks PURE but may NOT be?  How can we forge a deal with an entrepreneur who seems STRAIGHT but seems SHREWD?  Or let's get into gender itself.  How do we handle someone who tends to consistently project a gender which is nothing less than a farce given his/her innermost gender colors?  How can we FANCY a partner/spouse who seems RESPONSIBLE but in real life, he's damn IRRESPONSIBLE?

Either way, to quote James Spader, when things get so CROOKED LIKE THE CORSICAN HIGHWAY... that's the point we got to BE WATCHFUL down to the last detail which includes every facial expression and body language.  Many times we get too familiar with the 4 D's namely getting DECEIVED, DEFRAUDED, DOUBLE-CROSSED or DUPED all because things became so OVERT, whew. 

To cut the crap, what am I angling here?  Know someone DEEP ENOUGH, way beyond his superficial ways.  Deep dive into a person's innermost recesses and figure out what really drives him/her to be TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. Just DON'T take things at FACE VALUE.  Look for the INTRINSIC VALUE because that will likely lead you to the REAL him/her, down to his/her real, genuine and purposeful intent no less.  When things become so OVERT such that it becomes COVERT, BE WATCHFUL.  Get to know the REAL fish out there❗❗❗

Do Opposites Attract Or Repel?

Do Opposites Attract Or Repel?

Well, do opposites ATTRACT Or REPEL?  This could lead us to a wide open debate because these two schools of thought have been at loggerheads as far back.  Let's start with the traditional definition that when two magnets are together, opposite poles will attract but like poles will repel each other.  Let's swing over to our human-side realities.

To be honest, many of us do get caught and squeezed in between because we tend to listen more to the behavior of magnets.  But hey, I strongly disagree to that dissertation because that just can't be downright applicable to us humans. Not even to birds and animals.  With too many variables in life, there is just NO ONE SIZE THAT FITS ALL because this is more than just X's and O's.  

Truth of the matter, we should not even show our countenance to another person via our body language and all that stuff.  Relationships are NOT this is me and that is you.  Relationships are NOT to pre-define each persona from his or her own silo.  Relationships were NOT meant to be fitted together like nuts and bolts.  But instead, relationships are what it is and for each party to first assess the disparity and disconnect between the two parties.  Where there is a HUGE DIVIDE that is simply impossible to hurdle, let us accept things as where they stand at that point when that HUGE DIVIDE was assessed.  Can you imagine a scion of a billionaire marrying a homeless pauper?

Do we now have the catch word to a fix, if at all?  Yes, it is for a couple or partners to get into the BALANCING ACT.  Even among entrepreneurs, at the start of that 'bright idea', they were all singing the same tunes but after the honeymoon was over, the business partners find themselves in an acrimonious TUG of WAR.

So what's the formula is all coined in the Triple 'A' acronym which becomes an aggregate of ADAPTABILITY + ADJUSTMENTS + ACCEPTANCE. At the start of things, figure out to ADAPT to each other as far as both can.  Where both parties need to ADJUST [and that's a HUGE SACRIFICE], cut the cracp and DO WHAT IT NEEDS TO BE DONE.  Where all cards have been laid down and gaps remain within a relationship, mutual ACCEPTANCE is the last recourse.  I rest my case✅✅✅

What Stalls Us in Life

What Stalls Us in Life

We all love it, driving in the expressways, those interstate highways wherein if you get too locked in with the speed of your driving, you will slip past the interstate exits you need to get to.  But that's highway driving though.  In life, ours is not akin to driving in the freeways.  Instead, it is just not surprising at all when our journey in our life gets stalled.  The bigger question is What Stalls Us in Life

And this is NOT news anymore.  Pandemic does Stall our Life.  That's force majeure and let's not waste our time on that because health issues are quite a steep hurdle to overcome.  Instead, let us 'drill and dice' to figure out when are those times we get stalled and when we could have EKED out.

In Singapore where I resided for so many years, hardly one would exclaim that life there is stalled.  But rather, I'll qualify that maybe life seems stalled because there are rules to follow and comply with.  So, even when we take our meal at a typical hawker's center, if there's a queue, you can't jump over that queue.  You just got to 'TOE THE LINE'.

If we have a common enemy, everything traces back to failed relationships, regardless of the nature of such failed relationships.  And our 'CHINK in our ARMOUR' is that we tend to struggle in moving on from failed relationships.  And that's pitiful.

So what's our fix?  It's spelled M-O-V-I-N-G. Regardless of the impact of a cataclysmic failure in life, we CAN'T GET STUCK in the doldrums.  M-O-V-I-N-G forward is the order of the day regardless of the struggle in standing up after a HARD FALL Bottom-line is: never never let the clock keep ticking with you still down there in the pits.  Word of encouragement is this:  WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO GO BUT UP❗❗❗