Are you just SPINNING YOUR WHEELS?

 

Many times in life, we were always peppered with lessons and reminders to keep moving and with such reminders peppered with threats like sedentary life is the start of your end. Seriously though, Are you just SPINNING YOUR WHEELS?  Shifting over to our daily lives, WHILE we can set our intentions for a better future, if and WHEN we DON'T accept our life now and make peace with the present moment just as it is, I am quite NOT so optimistic that struggles might pop-out down the road.  The reality is that for many of us [and I was once one of them], we tend to have those negative 'programming beliefs',  where we tend to live in a way that does NOT align with the life that we want for ourselves and so, we have those physical manifestations of things WHICH we DON'T want.  And the more we feel bad, sad OR mad about it, the more we will feel stuck📗📙📘

Imagine if we keep pressing forward, SPINNING THE WHEELS hoping it moves forward BUT it DOESN'T!  Besides having that pent up feeling of frustration, it does nothing but create that level of resistance that goes against the current momentum of our life, sending muddy waters flying everywhere and messing everything up.  Years back, I vividly remember WHEN my car got stuck in the mud, literally speaking, and despite the endless spinning of the wheel, I tend to resist against it💚💛💜

By wanting to leave so badly to leave WHERE you are and go elsewhere WHEN you are yet to learn the 'LESSONS', we end up creating that level of resistance and cause more suffering for yourself and everyone around you.  And this is where STRESS gets into the equation as STRESS is something that everyone experiences and oftentimes, we STRESS about things that seem to have NO foreseeable solution.  All along, I always [wrongly] thought that behavior was stupid and yet, at some time OR other, we all find ourselves doing that too, SPINNING OUR WHEELS, sometimes minus the noise💥💥💥

SO HOW can we stop SPINNING THE WHEEL?  Here's the thing.  WHEN I asked myself that question many years ago, I ended up confronting myself with another question, to wit:  Am I SPINNING MY WHEEL FOR WHAT?  True, it sounds simple and intuitive BUT identifying WHAT it is that you are upset about is NOT necessarily obvious, so identifying exactly WHAT it is that you are upset about is an important first step.  So, we need to know WHAT upsets us in the first place❗❗❗

Our takeaway: Besides knowing WHAT, we need to know WHY are we indeed SPINNING THE WHEEL, it is equally important because NOT being aware of the WHY aspect, HOW can we move on to the next logical step, which is to disengage from that unacceptable outcome so that it will lead us to a solution in contrast to having to be right OR vindicated.  True, sometimes there is NO immediate solution to a problem.  Sometimes, people just DON'T behave the way we think they should OR are just plain wrong.  And true, sometimes, life ISN'T fair.  And this leads us back to ask to be sharp enough once we realize ourselves SPINNING THE WHEEL😌😌😌

Turning Passion Into Purpose

 

HOW many success stories we heard, people becoming successful BIG TIME but tracing back their humble beginnings, it all started as an interest, a hobby that turned into passion.  Till one day, realization happened that YES, we can turn PASSION INTO PURPOSE.  Oh YES, I do recall hearing this one-liner as well:  DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND YOU'LL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.  And while that is ostensibly true, it grossly minimizes the sheer amount of GRIT, hard work and even determination required to turn one's passion into a viable career.  Blood, sweat and tears are an inevitable part of the entrepreneur's journey.  Trueness, to build your own business, that's a hell lot of work ahead📗📙📘

Let's put it this way.  IF you DON'T really believe in WHAT you're doing, it's pretty hard to justify the effort it will take to succeed.  YES, if we talk to the people behind those zillions of success stories [YES, Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates are at the forefront], they can easily write a book and it will still be unfinished business because their pursuits remain in-progress even as we speak now.  For now, though, let's simplify things💥💥💥

BUT from an IDEA stage, there are critically important NEXT STEPS we need to take, which we can succinctly sum up here.  Without a clear vision, a thorough plan and a commitment to follow the path you would lay out for yourself, that DREAM you have in your hands will remain a DREAM just that, trust me.  YES, admittedly, there is NO secret sauce OR magic recipe💚💛💜

SO WHAT?  It's a lot of work ahead if we want to turn PASSION INTO PURPOSE.  YES, let us give ourselves that time and space to dream BIG, with NO limits, NO judgments.  Do get clear on WHAT you're truly passionate about [and NOT WHAT your peers are doing...... DON'T let peer pressure take over your life.  BTW, not even if that pressure comes from WHAT your family thinks💧💧💧

Our takeaway:  Before we dampen all those hopes, be mindful that if you AREN'T doing it for yourself, if your heart really ISN'T in it, you may find yourself in a critical MAKE-IT-OR-BREAK-IT moment doing more breaking than making.  Genuine passion is WHAT will help you find a little more to give even WHEN you think you have nothing left.  It's fuel, and there will be moments throughout your journey WHEN you're going to need it.  YES dude, let's turn your PASSION INTO PURPOSE❗❗❗

Is being SELFLESS versus SELFISH debatable?

 

Is being SELFLESS versus SELFISH debatable?  NO right OR wrong answers here BUT given that emerging recurrence of mix-ups, let's do a lookup to AI who defines SELFISH as being too concerned with one's own needs while SELFLESS means being more concerned with the needs of others.  So, maybe it's worth it to spend today's thread to clear up this kind of a mix-up📘📙📗

So, WHERE do we stand with these two principles?  Maybe, we'll end up somewhere in the 'middle of the road' here?  OR is there a real distinct character trait that we can clearly identify with?  True, generally, we will find that a SELFISH person is keen to be in the limelight and that ultimately they will find NO happiness in constantly pursuing a personal OR even business agenda filled with SELFISHNESS💜💛💚

BUT dude, if we take that path, that seems a very narrow interpretation of things in the light of facets in our life WHERE we seem to have either neglected OR hardly given any attention to.  LIKE investing in yourself, for quality food, for proactive medical checks, for improved mental health, for fitness, for personal development and yes, even for books, even if you settle for e-Books because Amazon is NOT shipping hardbound one to your place😖😖😖

And this brings me to draw a parallelism with regard our health.  ISN'T it our best health will be equally, if NOT more, beneficial to your loved ones?  Obviously, they want you and me to live a life that is long and stretched enough for everyone to live life to the fullest, with everyone with the best health possible.  In that sense, being SELFISH to take care of our health is NOT the twisted SELFISHNESS we would wrongfully think of❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Let's leave things at that, sweeping under the rug that old school of thought, that twisted definition of being SELFISH because a lot more things in our life today are closely intertwined with people closest to our life [and knock on wood, if 'lightning' does hit anyone of us, that can be as fatal to us as it can be to our loved ones.  SO HOW?  Never think twice to invest in yourself, especially if it is for your health because the benefits get compounded way beyond yourself because you've got your loved ones with you reaping such benefits as well❗❗❗

How Do We Get Better At Something?

Here's a giveaway question:  WHO WANTS TO GET BETTER?  Obviously, everyone wants, right?  So, How Do We Get Better At Something?  The long and short answer here is to keep doing it over and over again.  Over time, your self-confidence will go a long way in boosting yourself WHEN you do perform a specific task.  Just like driving.  You can enroll in 5-star driving schools over and over again BUT DON'T expect to be an outright expert📗📙📘

Problem is, some of us are unaware that WHAT seems prevailing in us is that ALL-OR-NOTHING mindset.  In school when it's time for role-playing or school speech events, someone can blurt 'BUT I'M NOT GOOD SPEAKING UP IN GROUPS' or I'M NOT GOOD AT SPORTS or I'M TERRIBLE AT BUDGETING.  Problem is, sometimes it becomes our lame excuse for our miscues and worse, a shield to keep us EXEMPTED and exonerated for one snafu after another.  Sounds familiar right?  BUT this is a sad plight❎❎❎

My take here is that generally, people hold strong beliefs around WHAT they are and are NOT good at.  Furthermore, in some particular cases, people tend to view themselves through the lens of 'EXTREMES', like they are either all good OR all bad at something, rather than somewhere in the middle.  Psychologists call it as those exaggerated processes which they parlayed in layman's terms as 'THINKING ERRORS'.  Specifically, they refer to that error of seeing things in a 'black OR white' manner rather than in shades of gray💚💛💜

And that's the all OR nothing thinking the experts are highlighting that it influences our core beliefs which we hold about our own abilities BUT also exerts a powerful effect on the explanations we give for how there can be such large differences in people's ability levels.  YES, as that old story goes, some people have got it and some people DON'T.  True, we are born with certain strengths and weaknesses that predispose us toward certain pursuits😊😊😊

Our takeaway:  Our life is a bit like going on a treasure hunt where we look for clues on the map that will point us in the right direction [YES, I remember the 'AMAZING RACES' we have had in our management team's teambuilding] WHERE sometimes we do get lost OR stuck in dead ends over and over again, starting to lose that waning hope until suddenly, one of our teammates will uncork something, voila!  This begs an important question.  Is it proven that we keep repeating doing the same thing over and over again, we'll get better at it.  Generally YES so [unless one is quite deceitful even to himself, cheating upon himself].  In a nutshell, nothing fancy, nothing complex here.  If you're facing an 'uphill climb' on something you want to get a mastery, to quote the famous NIKE advert, JUST DO IT, dude❗❗❗

Perils of Solicited Advice

 

This is so mundane and somewhat petty to discuss in our thread.  SO, you might ask, WHY are we covering this today?  Simple.  Families.  Friends.  Trusted parties.  It's quite normal that either party tends to share his/her situation and somehow, one has to retort OR react to it, NOT because we're obliged BUT because it's just normal.  BUT things become unnatural IF and WHEN expectations are NOT aligned.  These are the PERILS OF SOLICITED ADVICE📗📙📘

WHEN someone reaches out to us, YES it is very much normal that we should endeavor to be there for them, actively listening and understand that they're looking for someone WHO will patiently hear them, and better still, guide OR counsel them.  Oooops, for the eager-beaver, before you start blurting out, let that 'sharing' get finished NOT in a hurried fashion.  Remember, WHEN someone is faced with a challenging situation and he/she starts to confide, you might even discern that emotional challenge he/she is going through.  So, sit through the entire conversation, nodding along, and truly empathizing even with the outpouring of emotions💥💥💥

I remember going through the heaviest conversations we can imagine, deep and reflective, sometimes drifting even into that philosophical space.  One thought flows into the next, like a gentle river slipping over boulders, carrying us through their tangled feelings.  Before you know it, there are experiences that would let us feel we're in a journey together, only to realize, in the end, that we were all by ourselves, NOT literally speaking BUT during those moments WHEN you kept listening❎❎❎

WHY?  WHAT IF that person blurting out and pouring it out to you is NOT looking for an advice at all?  Instead, WHAT they want and expect is NO more than VALIDATION.  The only words they want to hear are the ones they want to listen to.  The only thoughts that make sense are the ones they think are right.  It DOESN'T matter WHAT we have to say because there are times WHEN the person 'pouring it out' to you has his/her mind made up long before that conversation began❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Let us be sharp and incisive WHEN we get into these situations.  IF and WHEN someone pours it out BUT does NOT want new perspectives, all they want and expect is for someone to agree with them, concur and like singing ALLELUJAH!  And NO matter HOW many times you listen, and HOW many times you speak, it often feels like your time and word simply go unappreciated.  WHY?  Because WHAT they needed and expected is VALIDATION and NOT an advice at all😢😢😢

Indeed, Life Is A Puzzle

 

YES, LIFE IS A PUZZLE.  BUT much has been said about that [and it's NOT even debatable].  BUT if we dice-and-drill here, YES, every piece of that puzzle is required to complete that whole PUZZLE even WHILE some may have rough edges and some smooth.  Regardless, both the rough and smooth parts all play the same role to complete that whole PUZZLE.  Up until a few months ago, I hadn't put my hands on a jigsaw PUZZLE for many years.  Recently I worked for a couple of it and looking back, I see lessons from these jigsaw PUZZLES that do illuminate important concepts and parallels to life📗📙📘

Like a PUZZLE, we are all made up of many pieces, probably thousands or more of it.  And YES, we need all of our pieces to be a WHOLE PERSON.   I can imagine a 3D PUZZLE person standing up and walking from the scene of a PUZZLE.  All of the pieces of the person travel together.  BUT WHILE entering into an interaction, the only pieces that are involved are the ones that serve a purpose in that scenario.  Then, the 3D PUZZLE person moves along to the next interaction engaging with whichever pieces are right for the new scenario.  And the people that spend a lot of time with us can see all of our pieces💥💥💥

If we walk around the malls, I do observe that PUZZLES seem popular.  And I did wonder HOW and WHY it can be that popular and powerful.  And psychologists explained this clearly that PUZZLES are a great metaphor in life serving as a symbol of the challenges and obstacles that stand in our way, especially after you would have gone through a lot of 'turbulent challenges' in life💧💧💧

Here's a common and recurring observation.  WHEN we open a PUZZLE, all the pieces are scattered and jumbled.  WHAT NEXT?  By focusing on just one piece, one section at a time, we can turn turn things around by turning all the fractured pieces into something complete and beautiful [once formed completely].  Part of the power of PUZZLES are the perspective and optimism they do represent [even in life]💚💛💜

Our takeaway:  Part of the power of the PUZZLES are the perspective and optimism they represent.  That is WHERE we can draw the parallelism with life itself.  Playing itself can be amazing as it calms our anxieties [especially in uncertain times] BUT if your PUZZLING skills seem rusty, as in life, approach PUZZLES one piece at a time, a little delayed gratification never hurt anyone anyway.  And it is important to appreciate all the small details that make up the larger picture and enjoy our journey in life😋😋😋

WE BECOME MORE VALUABLE WHEN WE ADD VALUE

 

WE BECOME MORE VALUABLE WHEN WE ADD VALUE.  I remember that time I got onboarded at HSBC Headquarters, the CEO formally welcomed me and I guess jokingly, he muttered that I seemed 'PRICEY' and rather than bite the bait, I responded that I CAN'T agree less BUT I told him, right through his eyes, that I bring VALUE to the table.  And he gave me a HIGH 5 with a GOT YOU remark.  The thing is, WHEN we start talking as to HOW valuable we are, this leads me to a poetic line I came across before which says:  THERE IS INDEED NO VALUE IN LIFE EXCEPT WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO PLACE UPON IT💜💛💚

And to make things murkier, the poetic line says:  The circumstances of life has NO value.  And if I may add to it, it is HOW one relates to a situation that has value.  And all true meaning resides in our personal relationship to a phenomenon.  And if I that realization today, it is that nothing is valuable until you give VALUE to it.  Things only become valuable WHEN we attach significance to them.  Therefore, the VALUE is NOT in the things, the VALUE is in us, in you as you and me determine WHAT and WHO is valuable📘📙📗

Even WHEN I visit a small cafe OR coffee shop OR even the petrol station for some car maintenance, I can appreciate how valuable the service is WHEN I see a value-add.  Yesterday, the SHELL petrol station clerk called to advise me that her order for my cabin air filter replacement has arrived.  I told her I'll bring my car come next day [that's today].  Earlier today, she called to follow-up if I'm coming.  That is the VALUE-ADD that made the service that much more valuable from a customer experience💥💥💥

Now, here's something puzzling.  I did observe that some things we consider insignificant are significant to other people.  And vice-versa.  And WHEN it comes to trade, we can wonder WHY fairly used products sell better in Nigeria.  It is because we attach values to them, WHEREAS some of these same product were used and abandoned by other people.  I remember WHEN one of my developer/programmer went to Japan for a short-term project assignment.  Lo and behold, WHEN he came home, he had tons and tons of excess luggage at the airport.  To cut a long story short, he said he brought home a lot of stuff WHICH the Japanese natives were simply dumping out [BUT he blurted that those were too valuable for him to ignore✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  My take is that these takeaways are applicable to us all here.  And I believe that everyone is VALUABLE enough in respective of their status.  And if you actually thought that you were NOT, it may be because you are/were NOT attaching values to them.  Heard of people WHO seemed less spirited and seemingly drained of energy BUT all because they felt they had little OR NO value to share in life [which is pitiful if NOT despicable] because each of us are gifted enough to boost our being valuable NOT just to ourselves but maybe even to the people closest to us, and even at the workplace.  If someone walks towards me and declares that he has NO VALUE, I'll challenge him because I really doubt it.  And in most cases, it's all in the mind.  YES dude, WE BECOME MORE VALUABLE WHEN WE ADD VALUE😖😖😖

[Breaking News] Southeast Asia Is The 'GROUND ZERO' For Scam Centers

NOT to besmirch Southeast Asia as I live in this region BUT no less than the United Nations has tagged this region as the 'GROUND ZERO FOR SCAM CENTERS' and to share details published in multiple newswires, the so called 'epicenter is actually that triangulated countries of Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam.  According to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crimes [UNODC], there has been a huge proliferation of illicit operations known as 'SCAM FARMS' and that has spilled over even to the Philippines WHERE they operate alongside legal gambling businesses💥💥💥

Datelined from PHNOM PENH yesterday, 06.16.2025:  PHNOM PENH: The Cambodian authorities have arrested more than 200 Vietnamese in internet scam centre raids, the police said on Wednesday (Jul 16), as Prime Minister Hun Manet ordered a crackdown on cybercrime sweatshops.  The police in the capital Phnom Penh said that they raided two buildings housing scammers on Monday and Tuesday, arresting 149 Vietnamese alongside three Chinese citizens and 85 Cambodians!@#$%?

In another breaking news just today, without mentioning the 6-star plush hotel in a Southeast Asian city located next to the legalized gambling casinos, a former senior ranking government official checked-in together with family for a staycation only to realize that all his account balances on his credit cards were gobbled up after he connected to the hotel's FREE W-FI services❎❎❎

As that former senior government official had his connections, it was immediately investigated and the culprits were traced to a 'SCAM FARM' being run and hosted by Chinese [this is an ongoing development now].  Lesson here:  DON'T DON'T DON'T connect to free WI-FI services if you plan to initiate banking OR financial transactions with your device connected to that FREE WI-FI😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  As SCAM FARMS seem to have proliferated across Southeast Asia [NOT to mention even in Eastern Europe], let us be doubly-triply security-conscious WHEN initiating financial/banking transactions because we are fighting off faceless predators WHO remain ruthless to siphon and gobble up every hard-earned monies you may have saved for the rainy days ahead.  BTW, one proactive measure I have consistently did is to 'LOCK' [by default] my banking/credit card accounts [YES, I can sleep soundly with that proactive measure].  True, the downside is that if you need to access your accounts, you need to initiate that eXtra step of 'UNLOCKING' BUT that fraction of inconvenience more than just mitigates the risk and exposure we're facing at hand.  To be FOREWARNED is to be FOREARMED!!!

Fear NOT

 

Heard it many times, that 'ART' of combatting FEAR.  BUT I just DON'T agree that to fight off FEAR, that ART has to exist.  It's neither being gifted NOR developing that ART.  Because in the first place, everyone of us [with NO exemption] has his own FEARS.  I've got my fair share of FEAR, name it, heights and being claustrophobic amongst others.  On the other hand, some FEARS are quite unique.  Some even find their FEARS interfere in their day-to-day lives.  LIKE you might NOT do certain activities to avoid the thing that frightens you.  WHATEVER it is that makes you feel afraid, the experts are here to counsel us to at least cope with it.  Fear NOT💚💛💜

The very first practical advice I came across really floored me because it seemed so casual, like it's NOT even worth heeding it, that need to TAKE TME OUT.  True, it's difficult to think clearly WHEN you feel scared OR even just feeling quite anxious. And YES we're advised, take TIME OUT to physically calm down.  Try and get away from WHAT's upsetting you.  I did even bear witness how far and how long can a TIME OUT be❗❗❗

Without compromising confidential info entrusted to me, I had a friend WHO decided to take a sabbatical from his work, for like indefinitely.  Only WHEN I understood WHAT he was going through did I gain crystal-clear understanding of that predicament he was going through.  Either way, I agree to heed that advice, WHETHER it means taking 15 minutes TIME OUT or 15 months.  And here's the hard part though.  Sometimes, FEAR is the root cause of a behavior that's symptomatic of a deeper issue within us.  I vividly remember my past travails where I was cowering in FEAR.  Our heartbeat gets to pump faster and even our palms get sweatier.  SO HOW???

Experts advise us to take a DEEP BREATHE even while we are advised to STAY WHERE YOU ARE.  How many times did we witness someone running berserk like a headless chicken NOT to a fault but he/she was just cowering in FEAR?  Instead, we are advised to STAY WHERE YOU ARE, and let yourself feel that FEAR even thought admittedly it will be that uncomfortable.  Instead, we are advised to place the palm of our hand on our stomach and breathe slowly and deeply.  Apparently, the reason for that is to get our mind get used to coping with PANIC and that takes away that FEAR of feeling panicky❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  A blunt advice I received many times is this:  FACE YOUR FEARS.  For the longest time, I had a hard time conceding and agreeing with the notion that avoiding FEARS only makes them worse.  BUT gradually exposing yourself to the thing you're scared of can help us to maintain CONTROL and even overcome that FEAR [which often exacerbates and worsens before it tapers off].  FEAR NOT dude😌😌😌

If It's NOT Your First Rodeo, There Is NO Excuse

 

Barring outliers, IF IT'S NOT YOUR FIRST RODEO, then there should be NO excuse.  That's all it is in life.  One can be coached and cajoled only up to and until such point that it is acceptable and tolerable.  WHERE it breaches the threshold of patience [that many times gets stretched], let's call a spade a spade.  That's WHAT recently transpired in the ongoing NBA Summer League, now hosted out of Las Vegas WHEN Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra called out his 7'2 behemoth center Kel'el Ware for his professionalism.  One can be flagged down for various specific skill sets BUT when one is called out by the mentor in the strongest terms referring to professional, it could work either way.  Either it becomes the last straw to hit the camel's back OR it will lead someone to have that fiery response via a dominant performance [WHICH was happened yesterday]📗📙📘

I remember WHEN I was a very raw talent joining the workforce for the very first time, joining a blue-chip MNC organization, I felt awed and overwhelmed.  And with the long list of trainings I had to go through, I then felt the pressure gradually building up [because I thought I need to show the results that soon].  BUT alas, my mentor then, our Dutch expat boss WHO was a look-alike of Donald Sutherland at his peak as an actor, gave me all the elbow room to grow BUT the messaging was NOT as soft as it was because in our monthly 1-on-1, he did encourage me to 'show my wares' albeit even if it will be like a 'flash in the plan' because he volunteered that that was understandable given that my skills set at that point in time hardly scratched the surface.  At that point, I could have just sat back and become complascent BUT I realized I have to exceed expectations no less💚💛💜

Luckily then for me, I realized the need [if NOT the urgency] to develop that 'EXCEEDING EXPECTATION' mindset, that attitude and ability for us to perform OR produce results beyond the expectations from the incumbent.  Sometimes, it is NOT fair to benchmark the expectations to the job role if there is 'GAP', WHICH was my case WHEN I was a newbie @Shell Oil.  BUT I told myself, I gotta bridge that GAP fast enough💥💥💥

At the workplace, EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS should NOT be a complicated discussion point BUT it is the way we execute it that becomes crucial.  LIKE taking an extra initiative, delivering higher quality work, OR contributing in ways that positively impact the team and organization.  EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS would showcase our commitment, dedication and sometimes even creativity vis-a-vis our responsibilities.  BUT EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS is the net result of a confluence of stuff WHICH need to materialize in the first place❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  I hate to say this BUT WHAT makes me sad [and frustrated deep inside] is WHEN I bear witness at the front line of things, performing things either half-heartedly OR executing tasks in a 'JUST ENOUGH' level, sort of coasting along.  Sadly, I witnessed those mediocrities zillions of times [BUT NOT in Singapore and Hong Kong WHERE employees are NOT walking BUT literally rushing within our workareas.  So, IF IT'S NOT YOUR FIRST RODEO, THERE IS NO EXCUSE dude😡😡😡