Pour It Out By WRITING It Out

Pour It Out By WRITING It Out

No sirrrrrrrrrs, this is not straight from the Billboard Charts.  BUT I can sound like a broken vinyl record [Ooooops, who else knows about it?] BUT I've been in many situations in the past, MOMENTS when I was euphoric way beyond the clouds, MOMENTS when my anger was boiling way beyond boiling point, MOMENTS when I was so deeply thankful for the blessings heaped on me, MOMENTS when I was utterly frustrated for hitting rock bottom.  So, HOW did I handle things, I did Pour It Out By WRITING It Out, literally speaking 📗📙📘

Yesirrrrrs, literally I poured out everything from deep within me.  If it was about my car's fuel tank, I EMPTIED it out.  So, WHEN did i EMPTY things out?  Right in the heat of things.  Right in the midst of my simmering emotions, regardless if it was out of euphoria OR out of anger. So, from a timing standpoint, you might ask me:  Could you POUR IT OUT a day or two later?  I'm sorry dude, that will be TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE💥💥💥

Frankly though, for many of us actually FEELING OUR FEELINGS is NOT something we have much experience with.  Maybe we've dismissed our disappointment, our sadness, our anger, our anxiety, our grief for years.  And that's just OK.  Because it's something you can work on.  And NOT just experts but I myself, I have proven it over and over again that the best way to start off managing these situations is to WRITE IT OUT, POUR IT OUT💧💧💧

Oh Oh, please DON'T worry if you are NOT a writer.  You need NOT be one.  You DON'T even need to be proficient in English.  You can WRITE IT OUT, POUR IT OUT in your own language, your own dialect.  Because this is NOT about English.  This is all about giving justice to ourselves by WRITING IT OUT to POUR IT OUT, all the emotions that are suppressed deep within you.  DON'T worry if you DON'T think of yourself as a writer.  DON'T worry about creating sentences at all.  Just WRITE FROM THE HEART.  However it comes out.  And if you'd like some structure OR guidance, allow me to share from the results of researches by experts in this field💥💥💥

• Write from a 'third person perspective'.  That gives you 'SOME DISTANCE' from the feeling.  Like, instead of saying 'I'm so anxious lately', say it like 'John has been feeling anxious lately 
• Write about your MEMORIES.  Look back for some of your emotional 'HIGH POINTS', like 'When did I feel so confused?' OR 'When did I feel so embarrassed or angry?'  
• Write out your feeling REGULARLY.  Any time you're feeling any kind of feeling, write it down

Dude, trust me, POUR IT OUT BY WRITING IT OUT

Ironically, FEWER Choices Make Us HAPPIER

Ironically, FEWER Choices Make Us HAPPIER

An American comedian's favorite one-liner joke was:  His mom's menu consisted of two choices, namely, TAKE IT or LEAVE IT.  Enough of that though.  Although it may sound counterintuitive, having FEWER CHOICES can promote happiness.  And I'd like to refer to numerous studies whose results supported this stand.  And while I'm NO psychology expert, I stand four-square that Ironically, FEWER Choices Make Us HAPPIER, you bet📗📙📘

WHAT is beyond debates and arguments is that the more CHOICES we have, very likely the more opportunities you have to regret the CHOICE you've made.  LIKE you wished you have a different mobile phone model?  OR a different car model?  OR you regret you did NOT decide on a European holiday instead of a tropical holiday?  IRONICALLY, the more CHOICES there are, the smaller the percentage that your CHOICE is 'RIGHT'💧💧💧

I remember more than a year ago, after we attended a major-major political rally by our presidential candidate, as we were literally speaking, standing on our feet for more than TWELVE [12] hours under the sweltering heat of the sun [until humidity creeped in by evening], when we finally wiggled our way out of a crowd of almost one million, the only thing we were looking for was a cold soda drink, WHATEVER brand it was, that didn't matter💥💥💥

Prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, almost everyday was kind of a struggle for me because I had to decide what attire to wear everyday.  BUT when I was on a business trip to Thailand [when all I had was ONE [1] business suit], that's it, it was a no-brainer, and YET I was happy for that one and only CHOICE I had.  This is where we all get too spoiled, no thanks to CHOICES, which is all to our detriment though❎❎❎

Our takeaway?  It's true that simply making CHOICES can ex exhausting as studies showed that it interfered with peoples' ability to pay attention and even complete fairly simple arithmetic problems.  So, if you want to FOCUS your attention on an upcoming event OR you need that 'emotional equilibrium' to handle challenging personal situations, you'll be BETTER OFF limiting the number of CHOICES you make✅✅✅

Life Is Not All X's and O's

Life Is Not All X's and O's

These days. most of us [and that includes moi] find ourselves seeking a LIFE that is LESS distracted.  A LIFE where we can unplug occasionally.  A LIFE less busy.  A LIFE much fuller with focus.  A LIFE fuller of clarity and meaning and NOT necessarily stuff.  In brief, an intentional life.  BUT can we agree that is Life Is Not All X's and O's?   The irony of moving toward living a simpler life is it takes a lot of effort.  Simple it may be BUT it's NEVER easy.  My own path to wanting to live a simpler LIFE is, surely, a typical one, NOT a story that stands out.  After almost a decade residing in Singapore, LIFE was going well with little to complain about in the grand scheme of things📘📙📗

With a roof over my head and my next three square meals quite assured, I was looking UP and OUT for that glass ceiling, so to speak.  BUT in my daily LIFE, material possessions would come into play, MORE commitments, MORE meetings, MORE WeBex Calls [a few times I was in in more than one WeBex Call between 12midnight and 6am the next day [and I had to excuse myself from the escalation call because I got to shower up and rush to office, whew💠💠💠

As a direct reaction to all these confluence of events, I felt like LESS and LESS of MY TIME was, mine.  The quality of TIME was decreasing as more was added to it.  And then, I started to question myself, am I WORKING to LIVE?  OR LIVING to WORK?  So, I got caught in that constantly busy motion BUT I WASN'T getting anywhere near WHAT I truly desired out of my LIFE.  So I questioned myself more📌📌📌

I then realized that I was losing touch with WHAT it was I did truly desire.  I had bought into the concept of MORE and that MORE would be the constant answer.  This was NOT proving so.  Then, I knew that I was OFF-TRACK, just too aware that I had lost myself a little and I realized that I knew some things needed a CHANGE.  WHAT followed suit was periods of deep reflection and those periods of reflection helped lift the clouds of fog that seemed to constantly hover around and eventually enveloped me💦💦💦

As Confucious, the Chinese philosopher has been widely quoted, the constant culprit is NOT life itself because by itself, it is SIMPLE enough BUT it is us humans WHO would whip things and turn it around to be complicated, sometimes way beyond WHAT we can handle.  Our takeaway?  Never miss out to SELF REFLECT because that could unravel a multitude of realities that you sometimes get blinded.  And as I can attest from my personal experiences, those reflections was key to bring me back on the road after being OFF-TRACK for quite sometime.  So, dude, LIFE IS NOT ALL X's and O's💥💥💥

Our 'HARD WORK' Era

Our 'HARD WORK' Era

Our 'HARD WORK' Era has been hovering all over us for decades now.  BUT after through all these years, WHAT are our realizations?  There is a BIG notion on HARD WORK that we all live by.  HOW many times we heard this slogan:  "THE MORE YOU WORK HARD, THE BETTER LIFE YOU GET TO LIVE".  BUT you will likely retort, 'JUST HOW????'  Because let us face it, there are millions [if NOT billions] of people WORKING HARD day and night.  YET, they AREN'T anywhere near WEALTH.  NOT even close, whew.  To shoot myself on my own foot, I'll even blurt, IF HARD WORK built wealth, there WOULDN'T be any poverty in the world.  So, our task today is to clear up this bedlam and confusion📗📙📘

So, this early [OR this late BTW], WHAT's our realization?  THAT the HARDEST working person DOESN'T win anymore.  Instead, if you have a better strategy, you outwork your competition.  Straight from the wires [just when I was reading my Channelnewsasia feed], Jeff Bezos, the world's #1 billionaire from 2018 to 2021 and still the #2 ranked in 2022-2023 very recently moved his legal residence to Miami, Florida.  And within that span, he saved $600 million when he unloaded a fraction of his Amazon stocks,  And in Florida, capital gains tax is 0%, whew.  Do we call that HARD WORK?  No sirrrrs. I'll call it a SHREWD MOVE!@#$%?

Hey dude, do we still dream to be a millionaire [in $$$$ or EURO and NOT in any other currency] at an old age?  WHAT's the use?  You AREN'T young anymore by that time.  You WON'T be healthy enough by that time.  WHEREAS, a million dollars hits differently WHEN you crack it at a young age.  BUT hey.  WERE we trained to get rich at that young age?  BTW, I heard of a slogan WHICH the filthy rich have rejected:  'WORK HARD, SAVE and BUY' because it is hollowed enough❎❎❎

NOT to dampen our bright hopes ahead, there was a study which [BLUNTLY] concluded that HARD WORK does NOT always lead to SUCCESS.  Fact is, if you feel that you're putting in the hours and NOT achieving the desired results, increasing your EFFORTS may NOT be the very answer itself.  WHEN people fail, it's NOT because of a LACK of EFFORT but because their EFFORT was misdirected OR misaligned with their interests and priorities.  And people WHO make informed and intelligent choices about the work they choose to FOCUS on have been quicker to reach SUCCESS💧💧💧

To cull from the benefits of various studies, let's dip into these valuable insights:

• EXPLORE, then EXPLOIT.  Figuring out WHAT will excite you [as opposed to diving 'ALL IN' and burning out quickly, will pay off in the long run
• Use the 80-20 RULE.  The PARETO PRINCIPLE tells us that 80& of consequences come from 20% of causes.  Take a hard look at everything you do

Our takeaway?  While HARD WORK matters for SUCCESS, they are NOT correlated💥💥💥

Anyone Peddling TIME MANAGEMENT?

Anyone Peddling TIME MANAGEMENT?

Anyone Peddling TIME MANAGEMENT?  If someone is still pitching TIME MANAGEMENT to you, you may want to be diplomatic enough BUT in no uncertain terms, advise the peddler that TIME MANAGEMENT is and will NOT be the talking point these days because over and over again, it has been proven that it is NOT time that should be managed but instead ourselves, OUR energy, OUR motivation📗📙📘

Now, anywhere, anytime, you would bear witness that STRESS is lurking everywhere.  Whether you are just a handyman, a manager, a businessman or a pastor.  And as per studies by experts, a confirmed major source of STRESS for many of us is the pervasive feeling that there is NEVER enough time.  As a knee-jerk reaction, many of us [and that includes me in the past] turn to TIME MANAGEMENT.  WHAT happens next is we endeavor to squeeze hour-long meetings into half-hour sprints to be 'MORE EFFICIENT'!@#$?

And when it comes about our TASK MANAGEMENT, we slot smaller tasks into gaps in our calendar to minimize unproductive time.  And yet, paradoxically, TIME MANAGEMENT [ironically] often increases the STRESS that we all face instead of reducing it instead.  And even as we become more efficient, we make room for even more tasks and feel even more pressure.  And WHEN we tend to feel overwhelmed, we should be better served by attacking the very ROOT CAUSES like the sheer volume of tasks and workload, decision-making required and to spin things in frenzy, the untold and nonstop distractions coming from social media via, ironically, today's technology💧💧💧

So, what our takeaways?  Let us GO BACK TO BASICs and manage our energy and NOT time.  BTW, numerous studies have declared that 'ENERGY IS THE CURRENCY of MOTIVATION'.  Most of the productivity and habit building advice you hear, offers tips and tricks for better and improved TIME MANAGEMENT [all over again].  So, we're back to the same conundrum💥💥💥

With promises of making you more efficient at work, the preachers of TIME MANAGEMENT will suggest all sorts of techniques and strategies for carving up and dividing your day to manage your time better.  BUT to quote numerous studies, 'MOTIVATION IS NOT THE PROBLEM.  IT'S AN ENERGY PROBLEM'.  In brief, you can have all the time in the world BUT if you're doing things that drain your ENERGY, you're NOT going to feel MOTIVATED and then, you will go back and seek refuge with TIME MANAGEMENT all over again❓❓❓

That Habit Of WORRYING

That Habit Of WORRYING

Here we go again, That Habit Of WORRYING.  HOW's things?  Are you still plagued by constant WORRIES, fears and anxious thoughts, especially ABOUT things you seem you CAN'T control?  So, it seems we're back one full circle [again], now for us to figure out WHAT and HOW to find the final FIX if only it is feasible for us to eventually stop WORRYING and thus, end the endless loops of our anxious thoughts💦💦💦

It's true that WORRIES, doubts and even anxieties are a normal part of life.  WHO does NOT and did NOT have one in one's life?  The family man would probably worry about the unpaid bills.  The teenager might WORRY about his first date.  The jobseeker is obviously WORRYING about his next upcoming job interview [after NOT hearing at all from all the previous job interviews].  BUT please do NOT get me wrong, those WORRIES are legit💎💎💎

BUT here's the big BUT.  WHEN 'normal' WORRIES do become excessive or more frequent or worst, habitual to a point that it becomes persistent and uncontrollable, then we have a legit issue at hand.  WHEN you worry almost every day about "WHAT IFs" and worst-case scenarios, you CAN'T get anxious thoughts out of your head and then, it tends to interfere even with your daily life.  Constant WORRYING, negative thinking and always expecting the worst can take a toll on your emotional and physical health.  It may even sap your emotional strength, then leave you feeling restless and jumpy and worse, it may cause insomnia, headaches, tension and it may impact your concentration to the activities you pursue💧💧💧

Worse, you may even take your NEGATIVE feelings out on the people closest to you, and even self-medicate with either drugs OR alcohol, OR try to distract yourself by ZONING out in front of screens.  Chronic WORRYING can also be a major symptom of Generalized Anxiety Disorder [GAD].  And while GAD is a common anxiety disorder, it impacts even tension, nervousness and a general feeling of unease that colors your whole life, unfortunately.  BUT all is NOT lost at that point though💥💥💥

Now, let's take a step back.  At some points in our life, surely, each of us was/were an incessant WORRIER.  Allow me to confess that in the past, I was a master of WORRYING.  BUT here's the catch.  WHAT IF an experienced WORRIER tells you that there is a simple method that puts a permanent end to your WORRYING?  So, is it hard to stop WORRYING?  YES and NO.  NO because we can figure it out, that is, if you want to.  Let's take a leaf from what experts advise us [based on their studies]:

• Create a 'DAILY WORRY' period.  Define a fixed window [like 500pm to 530pm].  During this period, YES you can WORRY
• Now, CHALLENGE ANXIOUS thoughts.  If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worry, chances are you look at the world n ways that make it seem more threatening than it really is.  And when a new WORRY comes, ask yourself if you can control it?  Running a problem makes you worry BUT WORRYING and problem solving are two different things to fix.  That HABIT OF WORRYING❌❌❌

HABITS And Not HACKS

HABITS And Not HACKS

As it sounds, PRODUCTIVITY seems to be one of the most boring topics to cover BUT what if we tackle more about HABITS And Not HACKS, will it be more interesting?  BTW, becoming more productive ISN'T about more productivity hacks OR yet another time management framework.  In fact, those things are usually distractions from addressing the real issues with productivity.  As experts scream in unison, the honest to goodness productivity is all about HABIT and not HACKS.  Problem is, many of us are getting mixed-up, [wrongly] thinking that HACKS are the way to go forward📗📙📘

We're halfway with 2024 and probably we're already struggling to keep up with our 2024 GOALS?  Yes, I know HOW you feel.  It's a welcome relief though because we got a good ten months down the road.  Problem for now is that it's common for most of us to assume that HABITS are all-or-nothing [i.e. you either work out everyday OR you will live a sedentary life for the rest of your time].  BUT this skewed thinking is quite dangerous for us because, likely, this will prevent us from achieving goals.  Psychologists also confirmed that skipping a behavior for a single day had NO effect on habit formation at all.  And this was recently confirmed in a research that skipping once WON'T affect OR impact one's HABIT formation📌📌📌

All those studies, even WHEN compiled, tell us that you should NOT worry about missed opportunities.  Instead, we should endeavor to work towards avoiding a second missed opportunity for action.  True, even successful athletes and even musicians and artists sometimes DON'T get into their regular practice schedules for a day.  And psychologists comfort us that we all have BAD days and those days are LESS important to our GOALS than we think they are💥💥💥

And WHAT's the key?  As per the sage advice of experts, NEVER SKIP A HABIT ONCE or TWICE.  Consistency is more important than perfection, so DON'T lose time OR energy mulling over that missed opportunity.  Instead, continue to reinforce in focusing your mind on getting back on track.  And since consistency is the most important thing for HABIT formation, experts advise us to START EASY.  HABITs and NOT HACKS matter💧💧💧

Our takeaway?  If our GOAL is to implement a new workout regime into your routine, you should aim for a behavior that has the least friction.  It's akin to the so called "LAW OF LEAST EFFORT" , like instead of going to the gym for an hour, you should start by simply putting on workout clothes and going for a short walk everyday at the same time.  This will make you make it a HABIT and NOT a HACK❗❗❗

Do We Have A PRIVACY NIGHTMARE?

Do We Have A PRIVACY NIGHTMARE?

Do We Have A PRIVACY NIGHTMARE?  Dude, it's a loud YES and YES.  Technology is creeping through our lives way faster than we thought and anticipated.  Let's take a look at ChatGPT which has taken the world by storm.  Within two months after it got rolled up, there were 100 million users, whew, making it the fastest growing consumer application ever launched.  Yes, hundreds of millions of users both got attracted to the tool's capabilities BUT at the same time, concerned with its potential cause for DISRUPTION📗📙📘

BUT ChatGPT is just a fraction of the potential onslaught of PRIVACY concerns we will [and in fact, are facing] face very soon today and even tomorrow.  Saying that GOOGLE is a PRIVACY nightmare probably ISN'T telling you anything you still DON'T know. WHY?  Because it is an open secret that one of the biggest tech companies in the world is now gobbling up our data [WITH and WITHOUT OUR CONSENT].  WHAT next❓❓❓

We DON'T need to be Silicon Valley techies to increase our awareness with all these creeping PRIVACY concerns.  404media, a digital media company is focusing on its investigative reports, longform features, including hacking, cybercrime, surveillance and PRIVACY.  BUT thanks to 404media, brace yourself, GOOGLE has that capacity to shock us that for the past six years, PRIVACY and security reports in an internal GOOGLE database included unreported PRIVACY incidents numbering into the thousands💥💥💥

And 404media reports show that PRIVACY issues are affecting children and YouTube users.  One claim suggests GOOGLE exposed over one million email addresses from Socratic.org alone following the acquisition of the company and it's highly probable that those users' IP addresses and geolocation data were also exposed.  Another claim says a GOOGLE speech service logged all audio for an hour and that recording included information of 1,000 children💧💧💧

Many more incidents involved YouTube, including Nintendo's YouTube account which was mildly compromised after a GOOGLE employee was able to access its private videos.  That employee then leaked news that Nintendo was preparing to reveal in an upcoming announcement [although GOOGLE claimed that the incident was 'non-intentional'.  REALLY?  Does it matter?  NOT to scare us all, even YouTube's blurring feature also left uncensored versions of pictures available for view and videos uploaded as UNLISTED or PRIVATE had a short window WHEN they were publicly viewable.  Our takeaway here:  Let us remain constantly cautious, if NOT cynical, as technology continues to creep through our lives❗❗❗

Now for the real, legit breaking news.  NOT many are aware that in Windows 11, there is a feature that periodically takes snapshots of WHAT appears in your screen.  Oh Oh, do we really want a database of screenshots of everything we do in our PC?  BUT hold on for this shocking info.  Windows actually scrapes the texts from those screenshots and stores it all in plain text.  If this is NOT the icing on the cake of this PRIVACY NIGHTMARE, I DON'T know WHAT it is❎❎❎

Feeling Stuck?

Feeling Stuck?

Feeling Stuck?  Not to panic, though, because at one or some points in our respective lives, surely each of us went through that ordeal.  BUT I think it's worth it to be enlightened as to WHY do we end up getting STUCK?  LIKE when you felt STUCK in a rut, seemingly on the go BUT never getting anywhere?  Yes, you're NOT alone in that boat.  We all have moments WHEN it feels like life has hit the 'PAUSE' button and we start to wonder HOW to hit the 'PLAY' button again📗📙📘

BUT here's the thing.  Life is NOT holding us back.  BUT our behavior is.  We are often our worst enemy WHEN it comes to progress and growth.  And I'm sure once you are aware that you are STUCK in a rut, you'll like to BREAK FREE BUT before we get into that path, let us figure things out as to the possible root causes of us getting STUCK in that rut💥💥💥

To piggy-back on the studies by experts, topping the list is that probably we were taught [IN THE PAST] to settle for less.  Sometimes, a life we feel STUCK in comes from learning that growing up we must do and be certain things and NOT others.  We've mistakenly created a life that DOESN'T even match WHO we are.  That instead matches other people's ideas of WHAT we would be💧💧💧

OR we are always feeling STUCK in life because we are highly self-critical.  Ironically, experts qualify that sometimes, it's even NOT true that we are STUCK BUT rather, we just have such a harsh criteria for ourselves.  In the end, we tend to refuse to see the progress we make.  OR as experts coined, maybe we have that IMPOSTOR SYNDROME and we DON'T believe we've done anything of value AT ALL.  Then we end up as perfectionist, endlessly comparing ourselves to those with far more life experience or opportunity than us❎❎❎

Our takeaways?  Let's hear all these from experts:

• Dig out LIMITING BELIEFS [like these FALSE assumptions:  THE WORLD IS DANGEROUS TO LIVE.  Or YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE'.
• Accept RESPONSIBILITY for the problem.  Experts tell us that what truly STUCKS us in life is that 'VICTIM MENTALITY'.  But when we take that responsibility for what we can, effectively we untie our own hands and be empowered again.  Still FEELING STUCK?  Make your move, dude📌📌📌

More Focus At Work?

More Focus At Work?

Ever since we got hit by that Covid-19 pandemic,  many organizations have openly embraced the hybrid work setup between onsite and work from home setups [and it works!]. BUT the question is, is working from home optimized enough?  Me thinks in a loud NO.  I DON'T think so.  So, do we need MORE FOCUS AT WORK? Absolutely dude.  Everyone of us just need to toe the line, no questions here [supposedly]📗📙📘

To be fair, to give MORE FOCUS AT WORK is NOT being triggered by just our hybrid work from home setup.  Regardless of your political leanings OR views, let's admit it we are distracted by the changes and activities occurring across most countries.  Finland.  Indonesia.  Pakistan.  Just amongst those in the midst of their respective national elections.  Ironically, there seems similar noise and turmoil whether it's pre-elections [e.g. Indonesia] or post-elections [e.g. Pakistan].  WHEN this much change is occurring around us, it can affect our abilities to think, plan and stay focused💧💧💧

I DON'T need to look far BUT instead ask myself, WHAT have I done to 'destress' and get more focused especially when working from home?

• I 'upped' the height of my workstation from two feet to three feet.  WHY?  That allowed me to alternately stand when working [because of the higher desk].
• I do talk a quick walk [even within my home] around every half an hour.  DON'T get stuck seating down.
• I would stick to my To-do List [as much as possible]

So, WHAT really is our problem?  It's that we tend to get distracted while working.  Sometimes we feel like the tasks at hand is just too much OR that you DON'T know WHETHER you will finish it OR not.  The bigger the task, the more you tend to procrastinate.  And the more you procrastinate, the more you lose confidence in finishing tasks.  True, sometimes, procrastinating sometimes help us think before taking action BUT more often, we end up missing a task💥💥💥

Our takeaway?  Most of the time, we are to be faulted when missing tasks.  THEN we end up getting disappointed at work.  THEN we might even question ourselves if we lost that passion, that drive.  THEN you end up facing a problem WHERE it actually doesn't really matter right now, BUT you already think about it too much.  At the end of the day, it's your WILLPOWER that will tilt for you to have MORE FOCUS AT WORK😀😀😀