When Our Life Becomes DULL & EMPTY

When Our Life Becomes DULL & EMPTY

No sirrrrs, I'm NOT raising hell or Armageddon because most of the time, it's a fact that our life is dandy and shining.  BUT let's admit it, sometimes, When Our Life Becomes DULL & EMPTY, those situations are WHAT we dread.  Those situations WHEN sometimes we felt something was MISSING?  LIKE there's a 'hole' inside you that CAN'T be filled NO matter how much you achieve or acquire?  Most of us experience this feeling from time to time, a sense that sometimes, life seems dull, flat, and devoid of meaning📗📙📘

Let's face it, we all want to live a life that feels fulfilling.  One WHERE we wake up feeling excited then later go to bed feeling content.  BUT for many people, daily life is far from that vision.  Instead, we tend to trudge through monotonous routines without a sense of passion OR purpose.  Activities that used to bring joy feel stale.  Relationships tend to lack depth OR intimacy💴💷💵

For those in that kind of dilemma, NO matter how much we attain, there seems to be an undeniable EMPTINESS gnawing from within.  Now, let's go beyond the surface and figure out the common reasons of those EMPTINESS.  Again, life feeling dull, flat, and empty is a common experience.  Though the specific causes vary for each person, there are some general themes that tend to emerge.  By understanding the potential ROOTS of EMPTINESS, we may fix this💎💎💎

Definitely, specific causes will vary from each person BUT there could be general themes that could emerge.  NOT HAVING A SENSE OF PURPOSE or MEANING is one.  And one of the biggest reasons life can start to feel empty is a lack of purpose OR meaning.  PURPOSE refers to having a sense of direction, vision, and meaning for one's life.  It's KNOWING not just WHAT you want to accomplish BUT also WHY those goals and dreams matter to you❗❗❗

Without a clear PURPOSE, we can end up feeling adrift and unsure of WHY we're doing WHAT we're doing.  Each day bleeds into another without anything larger to strive for.  Over time, even accomplishments ring hollow because we DON'T know what purpose they serve.  Another common root cause is DISCONNECTION FROM OTHERS.  As humans, we crave for CONNECTION BUT in today's rat race, it's easy to get isolated and lonely.  Lack of close bonds and intimacy in our relationships can leave our life feeling 'D-E-F' [DULL, EMPTY and FLAT]❎❎❎

Let's Embrace Life's CONTRADICTIONS

Let's Embrace Life's CONTRADICTIONS

What do we want in life?  Consistency.  Predictability.  Stability.  And our favorite, we DON'T want "UNPLEASANT SURPRISES" BUT we need to realize that our life is peppered with tons of CONTRADICTIONS [to our chagrin] the only antidote to it is for us to Embrace Life's CONTRADICTIONS and there's NO other way around it, dude💴💷💵

Pragmatically, though, the path to SUCCESS is filled with CONTRADICTIONS [much to our consternation].  And to arrive at your target destination faster, you must EMBRACE them.  These things seem like they DONT make sense BUT they do.  For example, WINNING BIG is about LETTING GO OF THE OUTCOME.  BUT commonsense will tell you otherwise, right?  So, if we want to be SUCCESSFUL, we got to be aware of the paradoxes that govern SUCCESS📗📙📘

Abiding by them is the defining factor in HOW things turn out for you WHILE ignoring them can cause unnecessary delays in your journey.  Let's take a sampling of LIFE'S CONTRADICTIONS.  Primero, BIG THINGS START SMALL.  You just CAN'T apply the 'BIG BANG' Theory in life, no way.  That giant AMAZON business of Jeff Bezos [whose net worth now is $163 billion, whew] started in the garage [of Jeff Bezos].  So with Apple, Dell, Google, and Walt Disney businesses💡💡💡

Comparisons CAN'T be farther than our very own selves.  How much did we weight at birth?  And, look at you now.  EVERYTHING THAT GROWS BIG STARTS SMALL.  If you have massive goals, great, that's an auspicious start for your life journey BUT again, temper your expectations that you will start SMALL, period.  And during your startup phase, you can fumble📌📌📌

To quote the great late Apple founder, Steve Jobs, 'THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO THINK THEY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD ARE THE ONES WHO DO'.  Very prophetic words but let's translate and dissect this one-liner into the simplest words we can understand and appreciate.  NOW, much as you want to achieve 100% SUCCESS, that WON'T happen tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.  Temper your goals by setting 1% as your improvement on a daily basis.  That should start you to embrace LIFE'S CONTRADICTIONS❗❗❗

It Takes Time

It Takes Time

WHO says anything and everything for our picking is right there for our picking?  NO sirrrrrs,  It Takes Time to achieve many things and goals we have set for ourself.  It Takes Time for us to land our 'dream job'.  It Takes Time for us to receive the sweet nodding YES of our 'dream girl'.  It Takes Time for us to be driving our very first brand new car [of course, except if you were born with a silver spoon on your mouth, then your limo OR Ferrari will be for your picking.  It Takes Time for us to be flying overseas for our very first holiday we richly deserve after working our ass damn hard💴💷💵

It Takes Time for you to get into your very first business or commercial foray.  It Takes Time for you to break some BAD HABITS that got embedded within you for so many donkey years.  All these we will hear from most people we know and yes, we can hear this in tons of online gurus focusing on self-improvement upskilling📗📙📘

Problem is, most of us tend to set standards for ourselves at the level of Alpha males, Sigma males.  We tend to blame ourselves if we fail to achieve our pre-set goals.  And many of us tend to reach such a HIGH standard without realizing that we were pursuing unrealistically HIGH goals without a FOUNDATION.  Dude, lest you forget: WE ALL NEED TO GRIND, WE ARE HERE TO WORK, WE ARE HERE TO HELP PEOPLE.  WE ARE LIVING TO BECOME BETTER💐💐💐

If we are 'DOWNGRADING', that means there is something wrong with us BUT that DOESN'T mean that you just randomly start working hard  on an overnight SUCCESS.  You might achieve those GOALS and get close to your GOALS even if you fail, which is GREAT!  So you might ask me. 'DO WE HAVE TO GRIND THAT MUCH'?  Answer is, it's neither YES nor NO.  We are here to work.  We are and we were NOT BUILT to stay in our beds 24 hours a day [NOT all people though].  Instead, we need to help other PEOPLE out there.  Sadly, tons of problems are going on and many of them need our HELP.  It depends on HOW you are right now.  If you're starting out, it may NOT be a good idea for you to just BURST all your energy on Day-1❗❗❗

To borrow that old cliche, ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY.  So, WHAT'S our takeaway today? We got to SET OUR EXPECTATIONS because many things may go awry simply because of misalignment of one's EXPECTATIONS versus the REALITIES in life.  BTW, even nature, even plants do bide their time, so we should NOT be an exception either.   If there is a huge gap between one's expectations and the realities in life, those disconnects can just widen the gap as time progresses and before we know it, EXPECTATIONS versus REALITY could be OCEANS APART.  Quo vadis, dude❓❓❓

Some Things AREN'T Worth Your Time

Some Things AREN'T Worth Your Time

In life, we sometimes, even unknowingly, spend our TIME & ENERGY on something that DOESN'T give much return or benefit to us.  And it's very exhausting and depleting if we are doing them for months and even donkey years.  That's WHY it's best to let go of things and behaviors that DON'T serve us.  In truth and in fact, realistically, Some Things AREN'T Worth Your Time regardless if people are telling you that it's Worth Your Time💴💷💵

Culling from my past years, please allow me to share those things, situations and habits which I personally think are Things NOT worth my time:  Primero, I realized that being a PERFECTIONIST [which I really was, before] was one of my missteps.  Please DON'T get me wrong.  Striving to be perfect at something is NOT necessarily a bad thing.  In fact, it's a noble aim📗📙📘

However, the problem starts when you never finish your endeavor or project because you feel that it still needs 'something'.  This becomes even worse WHEN you are starting off doing something.  Been there.  Was once a perfectionist.  NOT after I fumbled and got frustrated when I realized that NOT everything is 'PERFECT'😅😅😅

Segundo, STOP DWELLING IN THE PAST.  Whether it's being nostalgic about past glory or being regretful about missed opportunities, there are NO benefits in LIVING IN THE PAST.  On top of that, constantly regretting your PAST brings nothing but anxiety, misery, sadness and frustration.  The worst thing is that when you are always LIVING IN THE PAST, you are unaware of the PRESENT, which then tends to also obscure the future❗❗❗

Tercero, DON'T HOLD GRUDGES.  Constant feeling of resentment towards some 'bad' people who did wrong to you, it gets you stuck in NEGATIVE emotions, preventing you from moving forward.  On top of that, you are giving permission to 'STAY IN YOUR HEAD', leading you to feel more resentful towards others.  Cuarto.  DON'T BE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.  To be with TOXIC people is never good, when you are in a relationship.  The only things you'll get out of those relationships are emotional exhaustion, constant arguments and worse, even traumas, leading you to accumulate your anxiety and worse, you'll get those lifelong regrets.  Some things AREN'T Worth Your Time ❎❎❎

After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS?

After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS?

After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS?  I doubt it, seriously.  Instinctively, we'd like to learn new things.  And if that outcome is achieved, surely, you get a rush of DOPAMINE, that reward chemical.  You will then feel good and you would have UPDATED YOUR BELIEFS.  Really?  That sounds like a stretch beyond learning.  It might suggest that your BELIEFS are either outdated, inaccurate OR even wrong.  If I told you that WHAT you believe about the world is WRONG, it's possible that you'd instinctively defend your position and aim to prove that it is me WHO is wrong📗📙📘

So, we're hitting the mother of IRONIES here and we'd claim that we like to LEARN but we DON'T want to CHANGE.  And to be specific, it seems we DON'T want to change our beliefs.  Researches show that SELF-BELIEF, or CONFIDENCE in our BELIEFS is corelated to low competence.  WHO would believe that?  Now, CONFIDENCE is something we all want✅✅✅

However, by being less CONFIDENT, we open up the possibility of learning and updating our beliefs.  On the other hand, WHO thinks it's good to be AVERAGE?  Somehow, having an AVERAGE level of competence OR being open to learning, results in an AVERAGE level of CONFIDENCE.  On that path to mastery, this is a BELIEF that will hold us to our humility and encourage us to keep learning.  Studies show that it's common to over-estimate our ability, knowledge and understanding of subjects.  This begets confidence and a belief that we know much of WHAT there is to know.  To quote Shakespeare, 'THE FOOL DOTH THINK HE IS WISE, BUT THE WISE MAN KNOWS HIMSELF TO BE A FOOL'.  After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS❓❓❓

These days when even the most non-techie end-user knows how to updates either IOS or Android OS, the question to us all is how often do we press 'REFRESH' or 'UPDATE' and perform CRITICAL UPDATES to our BELIEF systems?  OR are they deeply formed, rigorously tested and perfect to their design?  Truth is, far too many folks seem to base their IDENTITY and choices to their BELIEFS [a.k.a. OPINIONS] instead of their VALUES✅✅✅

Questioning WHAT we think we know OR WHAT we think we believe in OR even WHAT we believe to be true, all these are critical skills we got to equip ourselves.  So, before we get mixed up, it is imperative that we clearly differentiate BELIEFS versus VALUES.  While BELIEFS are derived from external sources, e.g. culture, family, religion, education etc, VALUES are core principles that guide our BEHAVIORS.  They tend to be more enduring and are generally tied to emotions and ethics.  VALUES can be influenced by beliefs BUT they are generally more about WHAT we deem important in life.  What's our takeaway today?  Beyond updating our BELIEFS, we need to reinforce our awareness of our VALUES as they are the very bedrock and foundations of our persona.  So, After Updating IOS & Android OS, Have You Updated Your BELIEFS❓❓❓

Celebrate Yourself!

Celebrate Yourself!

Day-in Day-out we're exhausted.  We work extremely hard.  Often, we're hard on ourself because we feel like we should be farther ahead in this damn rat race.  And either at work or in school, when someone tells us to 'TAKE A BREAK', we even DON'T know what to do with that BREAK.  If you're manifesting any of these, I see and I hear you. You are working really hard trying to do WHAT you might feel is enough, BUT is really the job of 5five people. So, Celebrate Yourself!📗📙📘

The bigger question often asked of me is WHY CELEBRATE OURSELF?  As we live in a very fast-paced world, and we are taught from WHEN we're kids in school all the way until we retire to get as much stuff done as we possibly can.  WHEN we care more about the number of tasks done, it's easy to minimize WHAT does get done and our efforts.  That's WHY the conversation around burnout has become so loud📌📌📌

Unfortunately, WHEN we only think about WHAT's next, your goals, and the future, you may likely deplete yourself and WHEN you're depleted, trust me, you WON'T be at your best.  It's difficult to be productive, creative and thoughtful WHEN you're drained.  So WHAT's our FIX for this?  Celebrate Yourself!  And WHEN you Celebrate Yourself for the things you do get done, you'll likely have MORE energy, MORE motivation and with an increasing momentum allowing you to achieve your goals faster💎💎💎

Furthermore, WHEN we reward ourself, we'll be building our SELF-ACCOUNTABILITY muscle helping us follow through easier and in the end, procrastinate less.  And WHEN we pause and acknowledge ourself, our confidence and self-worth will grow, trust me.  The end-results?  Well feel fulfilled and contented.  One common [and widespread] misconception is that in order for us to celebrate and reward ourselves, we need to spend $$$$.  No sirrrrs. Problem is, people think of going to a spa, going out to a fancy dinner, going online shopping, OR even going to a store.  While there's nothing wrong with spending $$$$ on yourself, it's extremely important to make yourself more accessible💊💊💊

Short bullet points for our takeaway today:

• PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK
• BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER
• VERBALIZE IT - tell yourself, 'GOOD JOB', etc
• SHARE WITH SOMEONE - even small successes
• FACE THE MIRROR - that's your 'ME Time'
• PASS IT FORWARD - Consider volunteering initiatives
• ALLOT 'LAZY' TIME - Consider guilt-free time, e.g. Netflix 

So, let's CELEBRATE OURSELVES❗❗❗

Do We Start Tracking Our Life?

Do We Start Tracking Our Life?

Do We Start Tracking Our Life?  Ooops I DON'T intend to cause a furor and start a sandstorm of debates.  WHY?  Because most naysayers would opine that, hey, there are more important things in life, WHY I should spend overhead time plus effort to SELF-TRACK my life?  But hey, here's the thing.  If you DON'T think it makes sense to TRACK your life, WHO will❓❓❓

Many years ago, I started TRACKING my goals and habits,, on and off.  And I mean to say, I struggled and failed.  And I'll admit I am unable to confide to you now WHAT most of those goals or habits were at that time.  BUT one day in the past, when my life went on a deep tailspin, UNTIL I realize that as a person, I have a 'BUILT-IN' accountability.  WHEN we DON'T track something or write it down, it's easy to forget.  Have you ever set goals, never to look at them again?  Of course you have!  I'm sure we've all done this at least once.  And this made me love TRACKING my life for the long haul📌📌📌

So, Do We Start Tracking Our Life? Lest we forget, what will keep us going in life is our SELF-MOTIVATION.  BUT did we realize that it is our progress that will keep us MOTIVATED?  Once we start TRACKING our goals, we should [absolutely] be able to see the small, day by day, progress that you might NOT see otherwise.  Much as we have an 'END GOAL' in life, that FINISH LINE does NOT happen come next day💎💎💎

Then, if it's NOT really the FINISH LINE you are angling to see everyday, likely you are thinking of those milestones, those pit stops.  Yesssssssir, I agree those pit stops matter a lot because those are the times when you need to take a respite, and literally refueling and re-energizing yourself BUT hey, NOT SO FAST, DON'T even look for that milestone, NOT YET❌❌❌

Even progressing literally by inch, that is worth TRACKING.  WHY?  Again, it's because your SELF MOTIVATION will pop-up from those progress wherein you're literally inching your way.  Our takeaway here is, BE PROACTIVE enough.  You DON'T want to get into a deep slumber and wake up next day with one foot making you look like a WALKING DEAD❎❎❎

It's Okay NOT To Be Okay

It's Okay NOT To Be Okay

When we breathe, problems arise in life.  In fact, does it surprise us that we [ALWAYS or ALMOST ALWAYS] stumble across a problem each time we are awake?  BUT again, most do NOT impact us until we notice a significant impact.  Then, at that point, it turns into a reason for worry, hurt OR sadness.  For size, life's problems can stifle development and if we do NOT even learn to put things from the right perspective, it is quite likely that we will NOT be able to reach the level of our full capacities and abilities.  Tough to swallow BUT truth of the matter, It's Okay NOT To Be Okay💴💷💵

Borrowing this chart from careercliff.com, WHAT does this tell us?  Simple.  This confirms that everyday there will be problems.  THAT there will be NO day with NO problems.  THAT even if we solve ALL our problems today, we can guarantee you that the upcoming next day will welcome us with a new set of problems.  This is the cycle of life📗📙📘

So WHAT benefit can we derive from our thread today?  Let's rattle off our most common [BUT damn serious] problems and agree on a generic approach to at least contain, if NOT immediately fix the problems.  Primero, MONEY CRISIS.  Life's difficulties are common.  Because of the uncertainties of the environment we live in, even financial meltdowns can happen anywhere at any point in time.  Even if you should always think ahead and prepare for a financial crisis, it could still cost you or its reach might be much larger than any plan you have made in the past💎💎💎

So how do we handle a financial crisis?  We must accept the crisis if we want to recover from a financial crisis.  Set the proper financial goals after recognizing and acknowledging the issue.  Finding the ROOT CAUSE of the situation is the NEXT STEP when dealing with real-life issues.  If it is a job loss, then actively look for a new job.  If it's handling multiple debts, consider having a RECOVERY PLAN [which includes tightening your belt, your budget during that period]📌📌📌

A medical issue is yet another major issue that could happen in your life.  Given that our body systems run continuously, even while we sleep, this is NOT impossible.  If you DON'T keep up with your regular health habits, health decline may start.  If you DON'T take better care of it right away, things could possibly worsen.  Our takeaway for today:  In the end, you could face tons and tons of problems in life and you just have to deal with it ONE AT A TIME, containing the damage or impact and having a QUICK RECOVERY PLAN before things normalize✅✅✅

Want To CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

Want To CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

Want To CHANGE YOUR LIFE?  Oh Oh Oh, It sounds good.  I wanna hear that.  I wanna join that bandwagon.  Unfortunately, when CHANGE is looming, we CAN'T really be thankful with anxiety.  True, our nervous ancestors noticed the caved lion first and saved the whole tribe.  BUT now that we live between a washing machine and a computer, we DON'T need this crazy alarm to ring dozens of times every day📗📙📘

Oh, you might wonder the timeliness of our topic today?  Should be timely because this is normally the time of the year when we draft and craft our NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONs for the Nth time!@#? So, can we start this CHANGE OUR LIFE initiative by asking ourselves if we still need that irritating alarm clock every morning?  Let's face it, some people are even afraid it'll go off any minute, so they lock themselves up in the house.  BUT even in your own bed, likely you would still feel that immaterial bitch pervading📌📌📌

If we look around, there is always someone in the world who grew up in a similar place, time and situation as us, WHO managed to CHANGE their life for the better.  BUT just because it's possible to CHANGE our life DOESN'T mean it is easy.  I myself, I've made considerable CHANGES in my life more times than I can count.  And whether I was changing my perspective, career, or the country I lived in, I learned one thing💎💎💎

THAT is, to truly CHANGE my life, I first needed to CHANGE myself.  Easier said than, right?  STILL, whether you want to be get motivated, BECOME YOUR OWN BOSS, OR as one says, MOVE TO ITALY, LEARN ITALIAN, FALL IN LOVE, OPEN A RESTAURANT, there you go.  Without dilly-dallying, let's roll up our sleeves for us to CHANGE OUR LIFE✅✅✅

Primero, make that DECISION TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.  It may sound obvious BUT perhaps this is the most difficult part of changing your life.  BTW, I've met many people in the past who confided that they wanted to CHANGE their life BUT can't.  WHY?  Because it's tough to change your life.  REALLY TOUGH.  In fact, CHANGING YOUR LIFE may be the most challenging and most uncomfortable thing you will ever do but be forewarned that at first, the first stride will really be scary.  BUT, WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE❓❓❓

Can SILENCE Be Powerful?

Can SILENCE Be Powerful?

Can SILENCE Be Powerful? Unfortunately, regardless of culture. SILENCE has always had an 'uncomfortable' relationship with us all.  Studies show that the typical gap between when one person STOPS and another person STARTS speaking is just about 200 milliseconds long, which is just a fraction of a second.  Another study shows that people start to get uncomfortable when the gap stretches to 4 seconds, whew📗📙📘

So, can we guess WHAT happens when the gap breaches 5 seconds?  I bet one of you rushes to fill the void.  I have to admit this, all throughout my work-life, when I share and cascade my own best practices to our teammates, one of the rules I would constantly reinforce is that as a speaker, if you become silent for 5 seconds, that's long enough to lead your audience to yawn or worst, even catch a quick nap.  BUT this is NO fault though by the speaker who pauses for 5 seconds💴💷💵

Indeed, SILENCE is hard to maintain and that's WHY mastering the void between words can be a true superpower.  And these reminds me of negotiators because they have mastered beyond doubt the art of SILENCE.  Like you make your counterpart talk first and you've shown that you are in CONTROL.  Eventually, chances are, they will give up ground💎💎💎

Which reminds me of CSI, those crime investigations wherein the investigator will start to pry valuable information out of a criminal suspect, with the investigator seated across without speaking, maintaining the eye contact long and very long enough and eventually, most people will end up spilling their guts, voila.  To quote Charles De Gaulle, the famous former president of France: 'SILENCE IS THE ULTIMATE WEAPON OF POWER'📌📌📌

Studies show that there is another benefit to conquering SILENCE, however, one that has less to do with getting information than it does with deepening human connection.  Unfortunately, very few on this planet are naturally gifted to leverage on the POWER of SILENCE but that should NOT stop us from embracing SILENCE because SILENCE CAN BE POWERFUL✅✅✅