Voice Matters!

 

Does VOICE MATTER?  To many of us, it does NOT seem to be.  In at least 60 to 70% of gaps that turned to friction and worsening to full-blown arguments, I witnessed that for most protagonists, they would end up oblivious of the decibels ringing up and out from their voice especially in the middle of those intense exchange of opinions that start from sort of calm and cool exchanges leading and later on brewing towards heated exchanges.  Alas, this is one of our human frailties [WHICH I admit I was guilty many times in the past, ouch]💚💛💜

WHAT I personally missed out many times in the past is this undeniable fact:  THAT no amount of decibels can ever win an argument OR worse, a quarrel.  One key lesson I learnt the hard way here is that, even before we should start to understand our protagonist [we're arguing with], let us understand our very own anger.  Once we understand that conflicts begin in the brain, experts claim that from that point onwards, it takes charge of it.  YES, I realized that ANGER s instinctive as it is a natural human response WHEN we do perceive something to be a threat.  Before we know it, it fuels our body to act aggressively.  LIKE we seem to want to shout, slam the door and even [Noooo please] throw anything that is close to you.  Are we at fault then😡😡😡

Experts explain that that is an unconscious and biological response and in that sense, it is NOT necessarily 'you'.  And surprisingly, many studies show that 9 out of 10 times, we humans feel guilty and embarassed in the aftermath when we have emotionally 'blown up'.  And the technical explanation arising from the studies is that it is because we're allowing our base-level instincts to control our responses rather than our conscious mind!!!

This brought me to the realization that by being aware of our emotions and identifying WHEN we're having an ANGRY response, we can and we SHOULD learn to to calm ourself down.  BUT DOESN'T mean ignoring the problem at hand BUT it does mean controlling those aggressive impulses that begin to take over.  In the shortest words, this is us 'taking over' instead of being 'taken over'💦💦💦

Our takeaway:  I also realized that in life, sometimes, we do have some underlying issues WHICH explains WHY ANGER could be a sign of a deeper problem.  Someone just transitioning from a messy divorce.  OR one whose health has been skidding down faster and unexpectedly.  OR one who's been financially struggling.  YES, the harsh reality is that sometimes, ANGER is often linked to anxiety, depression and even past trauma.  Meanwhile, let us enhance our awareness that VOICE MATTERS dude😃😃😃