That Sample Size Of Your Success

That Sample Size Of Your Success

Congrats for your recent SUCCESS.  Kudos for your latest FEAT.  Big thumbs up for another milestone.  We all hear or have heard those bits and pieces of one-liners across our life.  But hey, may we ask, if you may kindly oblige please: What is the sample size of your successes till to date?  Ooooops I'll be the last one to speculate but if you may allow me to, I'll take a guess that the sampling size of your successes till to date may not be that a huge sample size yet❓❓❓

To start with, let's align ourselves with regard SUCCESS because it is often defined as the ability to reach your goals in life, whatever those goals may be.  Alternatively, another word for SUCCESS is accomplishment or even attainment or progress.  It is NOT necessarily a destination but a journey that helps develop the skills and resources you need to thrive⏳⏳⏳

Since goals are self-created, what people view as SUCCESS can vary depending on their needs, goals and situation.  But the bigger puzzle is as to why there are a few whose SUCCESSES run unabated whereas for most of us, SUCCESS comes in trickles?  Oh well, there are many different tactics to get into that SUCCESS column in life but the strategy that works for one would depend as to what SUCCESS means to you💎💎💎

If we will think of SUCCESS as doing well at work and earning a high salary, your professional goals will take priority.  But while professional SUCCESS can be a piece of a puzzle, it leaves out many other important areas of life.  Name it.  Family.  Romantic relationships.  Academics and even athletics are just a few areas where people may strive for SUCCESS💊💊💊

So, what else can we do to boost your chances of achieving more SUCCESSES?  To rattle off, topping my list is to BUILD that growth mindset.  Studies have shown that people with a FIXED mindset believe that things such as intelligence are static and unchangeable.  Those with a FIXED mindset believe that SUCCESS isn't a result of hard work but just a consequence of talents.  C'mon folks, let us increase the sample size of our SUCCESSES✅✅✅

The BASKET of OPPORTUNITIES Can Be Like The Ocean

The BASKET of OPPORTUNITIES Can Be Like The Ocean

This is no hyperbole or exaggeration but in life, from the time we were getting into adulthood, there should be no dissenting opinion that there are tons and tons of opportunities for our taking.  And while some are within our finger tips, some are within reach not requiring a ton of effort while a similar percentage are those that would require you to roll up your sleeves.  Indeed, The BASKET of OPPORTUNITIES Can Be Like The Ocean⏳⏳⏳

Regrettably, while we DON'T have statistics to corroborate my opinion, I strongly believe that collectively, our human race has squandered a sizable percentage of such opportunities.  And I can personally attest to having witnessed [MANY TIMES] when people really missed opportunities either because of multifarious factors [which may not be reasons]📌📌📌

Oh, I got to grab this poster which we CANT disagree at all.  The worst thing about missing opportunities if in the end, it's akin to wasting our life?  Let's go back to basics.  The way we spend TIME and MONEY matters.  Any way or any form one mismanages his TIME and MONEY resources is just unconscionable.  And I would admit that I WON'T even look the other way around if that scenario happens within my family because I won't condone it💊💊💊

Another missing element in those miserable misses I have seen people struggling with is their LACK of URGENCY.  Any day, any time, if you DON'T live and breathe with URGENCY, you are LIKELY to continue missing those opportunities.  And frankly, what are the implications of missing those opportunities?  Our life could end up in such a miserable and broken way that may be exacerbated by broken relationships💎💎💎

In a huitshell, life stands on THREE [3] LEGS as its foundation namely, TIME, MONEY and RELATIONSHIPS.  While each of these look like silos in itself, they are so intertwined.  To share some iterations here.  Waste your time and it's NOT far-fetched you will soon struggle with MONEY.  When you waste MONEY, that can impact even both TIME and RELATIONSHIPS.  And when you mismanage RELATIONSHIPS, you need no less than a miracle to do a turnaround✅✅✅

Live In The Moment

Live In The Moment

Live In The Moment.  Really?  Yesirrrrrrs we got to Live In The Moment.  BUT you might play devil's and challenge me:  WHY do some people are advised to look back on their past so they could pick up lessons from there?  Which, somehow is valid.  OR you might blurt out as we are often challenged to look towards the future, plot and plan things because that's our journey.  Oh, that's somehow valid again BUT all these are being taken with a misplaced context⏳⏳⏳

And on many scenarios, we ourselves are struggling with the present.  Either we are facing serious problems even as we speak OR life has just been too tough, you're looking forward to shove this present moment because of the very serious issues you're currently facing.  Oh, I can relate to that feeling, that feeling of 'escaping from your problems💎💎💎

To LIVE IN THE MOMENT, you need to FOCUS on the now.  FOCUS on what you're doing now.  Place your iPad/smart phones in airplane mode and power off your TV set and shutdown your laptop.  Slow down and savor the present.  LIVING IN THE MOMENT means we need to try practicing mindfulness to reduce stress, and as medical experts claim, we can hope that even our immune system will be boosted, giving us various physical and mental effects📌📌📌

Paying attention to details is also helpful.  Look around the world around you, including those small-small things.  Be thankful for them.  LIVING FOR THE MOMENT and taking notice of the small things will help us cultivate more positive eperiences.  Those little things could include like when you're eating ice cream, blowing bubbles or music-tripping✅✅✅

Oh, SMILE.  If you DON'T have friends to smile to, face the mirror and just smile.  Studies show that making an emotional face influences how we feel.  Studies show that there is an association in our mind between how we feel and how we react.  Our face communicates our state of mind to others and even to ourselves.  Lastly, DON'T WORRY.  It may sound harder than it sounds but remember worrying today WON'T change what happens tomorrow Every second you spend in worry is a second of the present wasted❗❗❗

When Things Start Going Sideways

When Things Start Going Sideways 

Once, someone asked me, which one you dread more?  When Things Start Going South ?  OR When Things Start Going Sideways ?  Obviously, the former is what I dread most because it becomes akin to a flight whose pilot has raised the 'MAYDAY' alarm.  Whereas. based on semantics alone, GOING SIDEWAYS would imply that there is still a fairly good chance to bring back things ON-TRACK because it got 'OFF-TRACKED' just momentarily.  Nevertheless, you might question me, does this deserve to be our topic today❓❓❓

Now, even as going sideways may be akin to this vehicle sitting on its side, bottom line is that at that point, things are NOT that bad in your life.  And this seems to be the best time to get back ON TRACK.  Going back to basics, STICK TO YOUR NORMAL SCHEDULE, simple as that💊💊💊

Secondly, BE CAREFUL BUT DON'T OBSESS.  As we all follow the guidelines, it is important to be careful and thorough WITHOUT obsessing about the worst possible scenario.  EATING HEALTHILY is another no-brainer but worth mentioning because it may end up with a healthy version of you.  Now if there's one fight you got to fight on, FIGHT SADNESS and ANXIETY with CREATIVITY.  It is just so easy to become overloaded BUT inspiration could come to the rescue.  Just remember you DON'T want to trigger an SOS call yet⏳⏳⏳

In the most simple terms, WHEN THINGS GO SIDEWAYS, DON'T GO WITH THEM.  Even when life is rocking along, that DOESN'T mean you WON'T encounter bumps in the road.  It DOESN'T mean that we are immune to it but simply put, let's go back ON TRACK the soonest possible time✅✅✅

WHY are there countless frustrating failures in life?  WHY do many people end up in limbo [of NOT purgatory]?  WHY do failures DON'T get splashed in the U.K. tabloids or go viral?  Likely it's because many of them took things for granted when it started GOING SIDEWAYS❓❓❓

Gotta Earn Your Dough

Gotta Earn Your Dough

No matter how you make your living, whether you're a doctor, a technician, an office worker or even a priest/pastor, I guess the trick of being happy with what you do lies in looking for and findling the sublime and perhaps even the Divine in your work.  Having said that, you just Gotta Earn Your Dough because UNLESS you spew out and exert every ounce of effort [and that comes with sweat], nothing will happen💊💊💊

It's true, those with a 'silver spoon' in their mouth need NOT earn their dough but the catch is, that dough will keep getting reduced till one day, he's got NO dough left.  But who wants to have his dough trickle down in volume till he ends up empty-handed?  Sadly, I can attest to that sad scenario.  And if we go back and dissect the value of the dough, surely we'll pick up some key lessons here📌📌📌

Going back to the dough, the analogy with life is the dough's resilience.  In case you have NOT read typical instructions of 'punching down the dough', as it just springs straight back a few minutes later, even novices in dough would attest that the dough would continue to rise higher.  So, if we were only like dough in that respect, if only we could ride with the punches life throws at us💎💎💎

BUT while dough seems a forgiving medium to work with, if we are into a technical work even likea carpenter or metal worker, of we make the slightest scratch or glitch in our work, it will remain there for all eternity.  For those with kids, if you harp on all of your child's imperfections [and worse, even accentuate them], they will probably end up being permanent when they become adults.  Conversely, if you provide a loving environment that accentuates your strengths rather than their weaknesses, when they grow into aduithood, most [if NOT all] of those imperfections will disappear and their good traits become dominant✅✅✅

BTW, dough that is pumped full of air does NOT lead to a better bread.  Unfortunately, in life, we are fooled into thinking that that which is puffed and more visually attractive is the better product. We know deep down that it's NOT only the 'preening' and the outward appearance that matters but also the substance.  What kind of people do we prefer?  Those who are puffed full of hot air and little else?  Or those who have some substance, integrity, honesty and values❓❓❓

ANGER Is A Letter Away from DANGER

ANGER Is A Letter Away from DANGER 

We all know what ANGER is, whether it's a fleeting annoyance or indeed a full-blown rage.  ANGER is a completely normal and sometimes a healthy human emotion.  BUT when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems, problems at work or in your personal relationships and even in the overall quality of life.  In fact, ANGER can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.  Gotta remember, ANGER Is A Letter Away from DANGER💊💊💊

As defined in the medical industry, ANGER is an 'emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage'.  Just like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes.  Doctors even opined that when we get angry, our HEART RATE and BLOOD PRESSURE would go up, as do the levels of hormones, adrenaline and noradrenaline.  And yes, ANGER can be caused by both external and internal events, It could a person you're angry or an event [e.g. traffic or a cancelled flight]📌📌📌

Now, fasten your belts because things can go from bad to worse.  The instinctive and natural way to express ANGER is to respond aggressively.  ANGER is a natural, adaptive response to threats.  It inspires powerful and often aggressive feelings and behaviors which would allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked.  A certain amount of anger is indeed sometimes part of survival✅✅✅

On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us.  And people use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their ANGRY feelings.  While there are three approaches EXPRESSING, SUPPRESSING and CALMING, be wary and aware that ANGER is just ONE LETTER AWAY from 'DANGER'❗❗❗

BTW, experts advised that ANGER can be suppressed, then converted and redirected and this happens when you hold in your ANGER, then STOP thinking about it, then FOCUS on something positive.  The aim is to inhibit or suppress your ANGER and convert it into a constructive behavior.  BTW, beware of unexpressed anger because it may lead you to other problems💎💎💎

Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet?

 Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet?

Had Your FALSE STARTS Yet? Oh, that's NOT news to us at all as FALSE STARTS often happen in life.  The bigger question is, how do we handle FALSE STARTS? In the sports world, FALSE STARTS are a favorite topic even from a conceptual perspective.  In sports, a FALSE START is a movement by a participant before being signalled or otherwise permitted by the rules to start.  FALSE STARTS are common in racing sports and happen when anxiety overtakes the athlete.  In some sports, FALSE STARTS can even disqualify the participant from the competition💊💊💊

Just like in races, life is filled with misguided or unsuccessful attempts to begin something and this can be based on our anxiety and impatience.  Sometimes, our FALSE STARTS are about a legitimate need or desire and when this happens, we can feel disappointed, demotivated and even seemingly feel like a 'cast off' in life.  Surely, we have had our fair share of FALSE STARTS and I can share some of it⏳⏳⏳

Let's face it, everyone of us do struggle at some points in our life.  I can share a trivial one but which did impact me in the past.  Every week, I want to start the work week by waking up early and be on the road to office NLT [no later than] 600am as I just hate it if I feel zapped and drained [from the horrendous traffic gridlocks on a Monday]📌📌📌

You might be inclined to conclude that FALSE STARTS are mistakes.  No sirrrrs, NOT AT ALL.  It is NOT a mistake and instead, it is a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.  Truth is, FALSE STARTS can actuallly be a good thing happening to us.  WHY?  Because we have more than enough buffer time [and probably] that motivation and energy since we're just at the START💎💎💎

Simply put, FALSE STARTS give us the head start in RIGHTING THE WRONGS way early in the game.  Unlike snags that we hit towards the homestretch, FALSE STARTS are opportunities for us to 'right the ship' but it has to be acted on with URGENCY because time WON'T be on your side with FALSE STARTS✅✅✅

Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION

Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION?

Please DON'T get me wrong.  Either RUIN or REDEMPTION is NOT that palatable.  RUIN implying you're in tatters whereas REDEMPTION implying you're somewhere 'purgatory' clinging on flickering hopes to turnaround and rebound.  But assuming you are, so Are You Closer To RUIN Or REDEMPTION? Now let's start handicapped.  Being in RUINS mean that your situation is probably near or somewhere gutter-level, very likely hitting the 'end of the road' sooner [rather than later] whereas if you're closer to REDEMPTION, that's NOT too bad because it means you are on the upswing⌛⌛⌛

First things first.  While many times we end up as the culprit when our life is in RUINS, you better be watchful because many times, the ones intending to ruin you or your life are 'HCP's' a.k.a. high-conflict personalities.  Think of those times when someone manifesting his moods to swing wildly?  And then it leads you to ask if they're acting either unreasonably, suspiciously or they are simply antagonistic❓❓❓

BTW, do they blame others for their own problems?  Hmmm, some difficult people are just damn too hard to deal with.  Some may even be that dangerous.  Studies show that when a high-conflict person [HCP] has one of five common personality disorders [that's BORDERLINE, NARCISSISTIC, PARANOID, ANTISOCIAL or HISTRIONIC], they can lash out in very risky extremes of emotion and aggression.  And once an HCP decides to target you, they're just hard to shake off.  Unfortunately, most of the times, we end up that low-hanging prey totally oblivious of what happens next.  But as this book by Justin Miller tells us, there are ways to protect our own selves.  Embracing empathy-driven conflict management techniques, we can wiggle out from that situation📌📌📌

But as a layman, let us break this down.  First off, SPOT WARNING SIGNS, those tell-tale signs of the five high-conflicted personalities both in others and in yourself before you assess things.  Then, do consider to manage your relationships, if any, with HCPs whether at work or in your private life.  And as a practical measure, AVOID or simply end dangerous or stressful interactions with HCPs💎💎💎

So, what's our take for today?  I'd like to piggy-back on one of my previous blogs where when I said DON'T LET YOUR LOWS GET TOO LOW and DON'T LET YOUR HIGHS GET TOO HIGH.  Either scenario does NOT augur well for us.  Let's endeavor to replicate the airplane's cycle when it starts with that takeoff leading to that steep trajectory only to fly on 'AUTO PILOT' once it reaches it's cruising altitude✅✅✅

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life?

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life?

How Serious Is The 'FOCUS' In Life? You can bet it is so damn serious, enough for Apple's annual R&D budget to keep increasing by leaps and bounds year on year [y-o-y].  Five years ago, the budget was $4.5 Bn.  In 2022, it's annual budget for R&D jumped to $27 Bn and at the core of that is the IOS FOCUS MODE💎💎💎

In today's ever-evolving digital world, our brain's ability to concentrate on a central task has become increasingly more difficult to do.  However, with the right mindset and practice, you can train your mind to IGNORE distractions and remain present .  Understanding the benefits of staying FOCUSED can be crucial to success no matter how small or large is your task, and it can help you gauge how you can improve⏳⏳⏳

So, why are we making a fuss of FOCUS?  It is too big and too important to ignore because it is how one pays attention or concentrates on a particular person or thing.  When someone is focused, their attention is centered on a focal point.  At the workplace, an employee is FOCUSED when his attention is geared toward achieving his goal at work but things DON'T stop there.  Instead, we need to continue improving our FOCUS📌📌📌

Quick quiz:  What's our #1 culprit of losing FOCUS regardless of culture or calling?  Yesirrrrrs, it is DISTRACTION.  You will be more productive and have a better chance of staying focused when you remove anything in your surroundings that might cause such DISTRACTIONS.  If feasible, try keeping your mobile phone in a different room or put it in airplane mode✅✅✅

Oh yes, I can't agree less.  Our lives is like a camera.  FOCUS is at its very core.  So how does the camera technology enable its FOCUS?  Hmmmm, according to Apple's "TIM COOK DOCTRINE", in life, PRIORITIZE things.  That let's you FOCUS on one task at a time, allowing you to methodically work through your tasks instead of being overwhelmed and likely ineffectual.  If Apple's iPhones did grab that sizable market share, credit goes to that FOCUS function of its camera❗❗❗

Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone

Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone

Our piece today is NOT about Bees and Bee Hives but please allow me to correlate it to life so Bee Hives Are Best Left Alone.  It so happens that given all things are equal in life, there are unfortunate stories where another person just butts in coming from out of nowhere.  Not a sweeping statement but per se, this is not appropriate📗📙📘

Not to deride Singlist [Singaporean-English] as I lived there for nine years, 'Kaypoh' has evolved to be a local coinage which means 'REALLY CURIOUS' which happens when someone wants to know about everything [as much as possible].  Eventually, 'KEPO' evolved which meant 'Know every particular object'.  But per se, there is nothing wrong with being 'KEPO' but if one is coming straight from the cold, when one was NOT even part of the exchange of words, then outsider is NOT privileged enough to intrude and be a meddler💎💎💎

The British tabloids are the favorite 'whipping boys' when breaches to personal privacy are raised.  Of course, the British tabloids will claim that since they operate in a much smaller market as compared to U.S. media market.  And that has led to more contentious relationships between those celebrities and the British tabloids.  So, the more outlandish headlines were, the more intrigued the reader is, then tabloids sell more⌛⌛⌛

Forget about the controversial media though.  What matters most is how we lead our lives.  As long as you can attest that you're NOT a nosey parker, then you're good enough.  But let's admid that there is a fine thin line that separates nosey parkers.  WHAT IF you got dragged into it.  WHAT IF one of the protagonists is your Meta/FB friend, hence you get alerted with those social media squabbles.  WHAT IF you/your Meta/FB profile was tagged.  Obviously those are exceptions that will absolve you of breaching the moral and legal rules governing personal privacy📌📌📌

So, what's our take on all these?  It's the fact that BEE HIVES ARE BEST LEFT ALONE.  Else, you might end up thanklessly stirring a pot that will boil up, spill and even burn you.  Lesson here is that with social media very much embedded in our day-to-day life, there is enough and reasonable 'wiggle room' for us to avoid ending up bitten 'black and blue' by the BEES✅✅✅