DON'T Hurry Please !

DON'T Hurry Please !

Of course no one gets to admit that he/she is HURRYING UP although in reality, he/she is really HURRYING UP. You could be a student in the academe, a worker in a new job, a partner in a serious lifetime relationship or an upcoming entrepreneur.  Regardless, please.  Once you get into that HURRY UP mode, that throws a monkey wrench to everything else. So, we plead. DON'T Hurry Please !  Regardless of your circumstance, you will be going through a journey [and without being a pessimist or worst an alarmist, it could be a roller coaster ride].  The outcome of that journey ?  We can only speculate but we won't thread into unknown waters for now.

Not our fault that many of us have been so blessed for back-to-back-to-back blessings showered on us but the downside here is that we end up getting used to be on the HIGH ROAD of success.  In the end, when we hit those rough patches, it's like the whole world has crumbled down on our feet and there's no way to eke out.  Can't we just accept the fact that ours is a roller-coaster ride and that will be till the finish line.  What happens then is what should motivate us.

RUSH ?  if at all, the only places where RUSHING will be a constant are the central train stations of New York and Tokyo.  Other than those transit points, there is NO reason to rush through life.  But the harsh reality is that today, we RUSH to do everything, from eating, getting information, from judging and making premature conclusions down to even adulting [because no one wants to be a kid anymore, whew].  But what's the whole point of rushing really ?  Truth of the matter, everyone is in that RUSH mode because we can hardly wait.

    

What a life, indeed.  There is this constant feeling of never being good enough.  Now to insert this latest breaking news [yesterday from local showbiz], the celebrated couple mutually agreed to call it quits [after a whirlwind of about three months since they let the cat out of the bag].  But how did this 'power couple' quit lightning quick ?  My prognosis:  they RUSHED into that commitment phase as if time was ticking out.   

Rushing into action, you FAIL.  Trying to grasp things, you FAIL.  Rushing a project for completion, you FAIL. Isn't that the TRUTH OF LIFE, though ?  Constantly moving.  We are always looking for the next BIG THING.  We DON'T want to be stagnant.  Whether professionally, personally or in our relationships, there is always that constant feeling of us NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH.  What does this all tell us.  It all boils down to the fact that as much as nothing is good enough to us, we got to accept that LIFE is a PROCESS and there are no shortcuts to go through that gauntlet.  Can we accept this mantra that LIFE is a PROCESS ✅✅✅

Don't Close the Barn Door After the Horses Left

Don't Close the Barn Door After the Horses Left

I guess it's just human nature, that instinct, when we lose or missed out on something, the tendency is to 'shut off' our blinders Whether you failed in a job interview OR you failed to hurdle defending your thesis as part of your university graduation OR your partner/spouse walked out of the door OR your creditors for your anemic business are abandoning you  Whatever situation you are now locked in, just Don't Close the Barn Door After the Horses Left because for multifarious reasons, that is NOT the next logical action you need to take.

If there's a four-letter word we need to dump now as in now, it is the word QUIT because to QUIT means the end of things.  This akin to being dead even before you die.  For the self-doubters, allow us to convince you why you should NOT QUIT.  Where you are now, that is meant to happen.  And so is the fact that you're still alive and kicking.  And who wants to regret for giving up ?

What can keep you going ? Oh yeah, you can have your support structure, your helpline but they can only do so much.  At the end of the day, it's only YOU who can make or break things.  Your loved ones can put up the pressure on you but no one will be better and effective than YOU yourself in cracking the whip, in letting you grind and grind till you hit a concrete wall that's insurmountable

Even when things have seemingly dried up, look up because the fruit-bearing tree will still bear that fruit.  But what's the trade-off ?  Tons and tons of patience, perseverance and persistence.  In three curt words, NEVER GIVE UP.  On a personal note, I can share how did it when I was at my lowest point [at that time when I was not yet an immigrant in that country where eventually I acquired my citizenship naturalization.  Rather than risk the ongoing process of my immigrant papers, when the immigration bureau stamped my visa to expire in two weeks, I made sure I'll fly out [airborne and not via land travel] a day before my visa expires.  Why did I have to fly off and fly back come next day ?  It's simply to comply with immigration re-entry policies.

Did I hit the payoff ?  Yesirrrrs, I eventually secured my naturalized citizenship after all the hardships which really pushed me against the wall.  And at the cost of forking several hundred USD for each round trip airfare ticket [to two other nearby countries where I travelled alternately solely for the sole purpose of 'resetting' passport's re-entry stamps so that I can get stamped for a fresh 30 days].  Just many ways to skin a cat✅✅✅

The Day After

The Day After

Happy New Year !  The Day After New Year's Eve has been always been the most sought day of the year.  And everyone prepares for it, which is that understandable considering that, whether you are Tom, Dick or Harry, we all want to have be the best prepared self come New Year's Day.  But other than that pre-occupation, what other efforts have we exerted for us to deserve the dawning of New Year's Day ?  Surely though, everyone deserves to await New Year but that's just scratching the surface.

BTW, it's true the next 365 days MAY lead to opportunities for us but not to sound an alarmist, those opportunities may NOT arise. Not because they will be as scarce as the Covid vaccines but rather, more often, we are the catalyst of such opportunities.  In fact and in truth, an opportunity may be right there staring in our face but unless we have the motivation and the gumption to take it, it may just slip way behind us.

What then is the FIX ?  Simple.  We got to WALK THE TALK, as this poster from the World Health Organization shows. All the preachings has got to stop.  It's time for us to match the words with actions.  Plans ?  Plans cannot be in the doldrums forever.  Sounds familiar ?  You could have witnessed this kind of conundrum wherein people are so gifted with glib such that he keeps blabbering all bout his PLANS PLANS PLANS but that's it ?

But is it that tough to turn words into action?  YES and NO.  YES if you seem to be steel-footed that it's an agony to lift it.  NO if you put your ideas even if they are initially vague and ambiguous idead and thoughts crystal clear enough as inputs when you grab the pen to start scribbling it.  Truth is. in life, a complex thing can be much more than just complex if we so thought that way.  Voila, a simple thing can even be much simpler simply because you think so.  

Why can the three-letter word 'ACT' seem that simple ?  Simple.  Because ACTION CHANGES THINGS.  No amount of hosannah can really alter this paradigm.  It's akin to crossing that river.  The odds may seem insurmountable and the cards may be stacked against you but if did figure out an action plan to frontally attack it, only then when ACTION CHANGES THINGS  As we clocked in to the first day of 2022, let us think of THE DAY AFTER✅✅✅

Somos Lo Que Hay

Somos Lo Que Hay

 In a few hours, we bid adieu to 2021 and welcome 2022.  Oh, this has been our annual ritual, right ? And towards New Year's Eve, we hear left and right folks coming up with their NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION.  Whew, again ?  Since when have we been going through that cycle.  If my memory serves me right, I can vividly recall this repetitive cycle way back my grade school days.  I even remember no less than my teachers way back elementary and high school days requiring us students to come up with our respective NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONs even during those times when we were grappling and struggling for words.  

Oh yes, SOMOS LO QUE HAY is a Mexican movie way back 2010.  Simply put, it means WE ARE WHAT WE ARE.  Ahd despite that Gregorian calendar, it serves nothing than just flipping up the dates, come next day.  But not to cast aspersion with our best intentions, many of us [and that includes me in the past] innocently thought that all it takes is to write our NEW YEAR's RESOLUTION.

Without aspiring to be prophetic, very likely, come 2022, we would ask WHERE ARE WE ?  Simple though.  WE'RE BACK WHERE WE WERE YESTERDAY.  Without being a pessimist, come 2022, we would hear this refrain over and over again: 'THAT WE'RE BACK WHERE WE WERE YESTERDAY. If we were a lazy dog yesterday, there's a good change we'll remain that day come new year UNLESS we take a serious effort for it.

If we behold to be a success story by next year, I will and I will bet on you.  And if you were a lazy in the past till now, the good chance is you will remain that way unless you take that conscious effort.

In that Bare Bears movie, the bears decide to run away from America and live a new life in Canada.  And indeed they did, and as tey believed in themselves, leading a new lease o life in Canada, all that was left was for them to keep their focus as they wanted a new lease of life in Canada.  But bare bears or nothin, no one can foretell that your NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION will give you a guarantee to succced next year❗❗❗

Don't Take Your Feet Off the Gas [Way too long]

Don't Take Your Feet Off the Gas [Way too long] 

Who says we CAN'T TAKE OUR FEET OFF THE GAS ? Of course we can.  When?  When things are sailing smoothly.  When we have reached a milestone achievement.  When we feel we deserve all the kampai's and self-reward.  But here's the big BUT.  Sometimes, our merriment gets way too long, it gets stretched way too far.

So, when exactly should we keep our foot on the gas ?  Simple question = simple answer.  Once you have patted yourself.  Once your celebration is over [with NO Part 2 or Part 3 sequels please]. Once you need to keep grinding again because that is our way of life.  Once you need to focus on the next goal, next target in your journey to achieve your ultimate goal.  Once your previous chapter is done and it's time to commence the next chapter.  Lastly of course, to state the obvious, in case you don't deserve a respite because your situation demands you to continue keeping your FOOT ON THE GAS.

Thing is, celebrations need to have a START end END.  It can't be akin to a TV Series, with a sequel.  Eventually, the PARTY has to be OVER.  Even assuming you reached the very pinnacle of success.  You still need to grind.

So what's the fix to this conundrum ?  It is living and running the balancing act in your life.  You can only allocate so much of your time [and attention] to the social part of life.  Your intestinal fortitude should cut across every facet of your life.  And you need maintain that equilibrium balance because life can't tilt much on either side, else the ship can turn upside down.

So how to fix things ?  First off, acknowledge that you can't continue grinding TAKING YOUR FEET OFF THE GAS altogether. Second, MANAGE YOURSELF, and NOT TIME.  Third, do a PLUS-MINUS.  Add the tasks that are MUST-DOs in your life and remove tasks which are optional at best.  Next, when you get asked for HELP, if you can't, then say NO.  Next, always LIVE with a PURPOSE.  Nothing beats that.  And not to forget, Don't Take Your Feet Off the Gas [Way too long] ❗❗❗

Get All the Ducks in a Row First

Get All the Ducks in a Row First

Get All the Ducks in a Row First.  Ok Ok Ok I agree this is indeed a very idiomatic expression so, for us to be on the same page.  Simply put, this tells us to ORGANIZE OUR TASKS and SCHEDULES to make you ready for the next step, next move, next phase.  With all humility, I'd admit that I have deeply embedded this as part of my self-discipline way before I execute a plan, whether it is a project or operational plan at work or personal/family plans, e.g. holiday travels, planned medical procedures, amongst others.

Oh well, what could be the outcomes when you don't GET ALL THE DUCKS IN A ROW first ? Oh my, the possible outcomes would be any combination of nightmares but in the briefest one-word adjectives for those outcomes, it could equate to a mix up, a foul-up, a failure, a flop, a disaster.

Let's a real-life sampling in aa family-of-5 going for an overseas holiday that coincides with the business trip of the hubby.  And if you want to combine both, all rolled into one.  Can it be that simple ?  With all travel bookings exactly with identical ETDs & ETAs? And how's the hotel bookings ?  And when do the sightseeing tours get squeeze considering the hubby will be on business engagements?

When I was at my planning phase to kickstart my planned immigration to another country two decades back, things were not just complex enough as it was even compound-complex, whew !  Besides planning meticulously and in precise detail, I had to make a few assumptions that had to be etched on stone, e.g. this is my total budget while temporarily billeted in a hotel, this this is my budget enough to sustain me on an assumption that I will finally get a job and get my first check after 'XXX' days/weeks/months from arrival.                     

And right on my front seat, I bear witness to numerous TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE FLOPS not because of a streak of bad luck and force majeure but simply because people didn't Get All the Ducks in a Row First.  In the midst of the pandemic, someone was virtually tendered a job offer and pronto, he signed on the dotted line.  The catch ?  He had yet to renew his passport, whew.  So, that job offer died a natural death.  Another sampling here.  He got so tied up for the passport processes of his wife and baby.  Presto, they got hold of their passports but here's the snag.  When he initiated arranging their flight bookings [as they were migrating[, the hubby's passport was expiring in less than 6 months.  Whew.  If only he Got All the Ducks in a Row First❗❗❗

Kindness Starts From Within

Kindness Starts From Within

This is the kind of stuff that gets hardly discussed in threads because through the ages, we [wrongly] thought that this is not a talking point ?!@#$%  But hey, we are grossly wrong because basic logic dictates that we can 'walk the talk' of being KIND TO OTHERS only if Kindness Starts From Within.  Simply put, this is telling us that we need to be that kind to ourselves, that being kind INSIDE OUT unconditionally.

Why KINDLY ?  Yesirrrrrrs, it is regrettable that [save for the exceptional few who are dyed-in-the-wool as lazy as the tortoise] many of us have hardly been kind kind enough to our very own self.  Frankly, we're tough with ourselves.  We demand much from ourselves, sometimes more than what we are capable of.  And don't get me wrong because that's very laudable BUT the bigger question, should we just carry on with that SELF-TOUGHIE mindset from within us ?  No way, Jose.  Being that tough to ourselves does NOT guarantee that we could remain that kind enough to others.  WHAT IF our health skids and goes down the drain ?  Who can get kinder?

Oh, we [frequently] wrongly assume that criticism will motivate us to do better.  We tend to be more perfectionist than we should be.  When we feel anxious or frustrated, we talk to ourselves more harshly than what we'd find acceptable by anyone else.  Instead of talking to ourselves with SELF-COMPASSION, we raise out standards for our behavior as a defense against our feelings of DOUBT, ANXIETY or FRUSTRATION.

SELF-COMPASSION improves people's participations in groups and is associated with a more adaptive attitude to failure.  People who are SELF-COMPASSIONATE recover better from psychological knocks like relationship breakups and career setbacks.  One way to manifest SELF-COMPASSION is through SELF-TALK.

So what's COMPASSIONATE SELF-TALK ?  It's taking a balanced approach to our negative emotions that neither suppresses or exaggerates them and expecting yourself to make the best decision you can in the situation you're in.  Sometimes, it is an irreverent challenge of beliefs. Example, I could have written hundreds of blogs and I have enough readership.  Yet I continue to doubt my capabilities.  Why can't we all rekindle that KINDNESS FROM WITHIN US ❗❗❗

That 'SEISMIC MOVE' to Relevance

That 'SEISMIC MOVE' to Relevance

BE SO GOOD THEY CAN'T IGNORE YOU.  Sounds good for slogans, right ?  BUT, if you are aware THAT a 'SEISMIC MOVE' to Relevance is that jolt, that shot in the arm you need, go for it and I promise you, you WON'T MISS THE BUS.  True, this is a motherhood statement but it is what it is because this is so generically relevant across all the landscapes in our life, regardless if you are a student, a worker, an entrepreneur or a partner to your spouse/loved one.  The worst thing in life is not what happens but instead, what does not happen in the first place.

This is not to make a mountain out of a mole hill but how would you feel if you realize that indeed you are appearing to be that IRRELEVANT ?  In school, you are hardly called to recite, if at all.  In business, your cash register seems stuck.  At work, your boss is oblivious of your presence.  And your relationship, you and your partner go through the motions but that's about all.

That unwanted IRREEVANCE though comes in as a 'multiplexed' challenge in our life because we need to keep up with the challenges in life both from within ourselves and even out there, when we end to contend with the mammoth crowd of humans, each with their respective capabilities to showcase whereas you yourself, you [wrongly] thought there was no need to squeeze more juice.

Oh well, going up the ladder of success was never told to us to be a 'walk in the park'.  The ladder itself is always steep, enough to throw you back after inching by a step.  Back in school, when the professor very rarely called our name. And you felt good ?  YOU MISSED THE BUS!  At work, your manager hardly tosses your name when a new task comes in.  And you felt good ?  YOU MISSED THE BUS!  In your relationship, your partner does not nag you at all.  And you felt good ?  YOU MISSED THE BUS!  In business, your cash register hardly moves.  YOU MISSED THE BUS!  

So what's the basic trick ?  Branding Branding Branding.  Remember YOU are the product itself and YOU are the very salesman of YOUR PRODUCT.  And you may be gifted with that GIFT of GAB but again, it all boils down to your PRODUCT BANDING.  In school, do your professors recognize as one of the top performers ?  At work, does your managers recognize not just your unquestioned technical capabilities but your consistent SENSE of OWNERSHIP on an end-to-end basis ?  In your relationship, does your partner/spouse recognize you as responsible and reliable enough ?  In your business, are you the first option customers will go to if they wanted to buy the products which are very much at the core of your business ?  If your response is NOT YET, please consider THAT 'SEISMIC MOVE' to RELEVANCE✅✅✅

Rome Was NOT Built in One Day [BUT]

Rome Was NOT Built in One Day [BUT]

Oh, till now I am in awe with the grandeur that was Rome.  No wonder it remains on the A-List of tourists through the decades.  But hey, Rome Was NOT Built in One Day.  And if we draw a parallelism in our lives, it shouldn't be late to realize that similar to the grandeur that was Rome, careers are NOT built in one day.  BUT whew, how often do we stumble and witness bare and bold impatience of today's generations, impatience that stretches farther than it should be ?

Not to pick on Gen Z but they represent the best sampling of generations impatient than they can be.  Besides making us worry about their impatience, what is more worrisome is their stretched impatience in life itself.  And that spans across from their daily lives all the way to their career lives.  And if we remind them that Rome Was NOT Built in One Day, to hell they'll retort.  To them, Rome is not even a 'talking point' because that's history.

But what makes things miserable is that many of our younger generations are oblivious that they are TRAPPED by the vicious cycle of social media.  How ?  Don't look far.  Monitor up close enough our youngsters.  After they have posted something in FB, Twitter or what not. If the LIKES are scantily coming in trickles, observe their moods, their motivation.  Don't they seem depressed or at least down-hearted ?Again, they're not aware that  Rome Was NOT Built in One Day

Oh, I vividly remember the old school wherein cinemas wll advertise upcoming movies as either "NEXT PICTURE' or 'COMING SOON'.  Today, click on your NETFLIX App, presto, what do we have are tons and tons of movies right at your fingertips right now.  So, how cab we convince our young generations that Rome Was NOT Built in One Day ?

So, how do we literally rescue today's generations from that dopamine addiction ?  Oh well, there is solution but this is not an overnight pill though. In Silicon Valley, Dopamine Fasting is the way to go with people determined to literally reset their dopamine levels by completely abstaining that brings them pleasure.  Name it.  Smartphones.  Social Media, Netflix.  And dopamine fasters all realize that  Rome Was NOT Built in One Day✅✅✅

Damage Control

Damage Control

I'm back [after a medical leave] and before anything else, allow me to greet my readership a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS.  Hoping everyone will reap the blessings you deserve this Christmas.  Which brings me to our Christmas topic, more about this stuff called Damage Control.  Why do we need to spend time on Damage Control ?  Simple.  In our everyday life, damage will happen, in various forms and shapes.

if you are a seafarer, surely several times you experienced your vessel tilting on one side.  And if you've been driving, surely you had to struggle those moments when your car conks out for whatever reason.  And during those moments, things could easily turn from bad to worse.  Except if you managed to inject damage control.

But even before things bring us to a point of doing a damage control, it behooves that we be PREEMPTIVE in life.  By being preemptive, we tend to be predictive in anticipation of something that may likely happen.  And this is where we can avoid things from going from bad to worse.

Yes, to be pre-emptive means damage control really gets into our radar when it comes to our relationships with our loved ones, our partner/spouse.  Even with the slightest rough patch, that should trigger us to be pre-emptive because fixing things up front will likely entail lesser effort + time, not to mention the agony partners will have to go through.  When your issue is on financials, who wants the debt to be ballooning by leaps and bounds ?

When it's your health and well-being, your pre-emptive and proactive steps can easily save you unnecessary efforts, resources, time + sacrifices.  I can attest to this.  Two days ago, I decided to go through a pre-emptive medical procedure that caused me two hours to be on general anesthesia and in another two hours, I recovered.  Today, I am back on my feet, as if nothing happened. With no damage control, my recovery period could have spanned weeks.  Think about damage control in your life, PLEASE❗❗❗