Taking a Step Back is NOT That Bad

Taking a Step Back is NOT That Bad

Who says we should NOT retreat and NOT take a STEP BACK ?  Only the naysayers I guess but unfortunately, we're easily swayed and influenced by those at the other side of the fence.  Too bad we hear more often that taking a STEP BACK is a manifestation of DEFEATISM, HOPELESSNESS, NEGATIVISM and in the shortest statement, raising the 'white flag' to RETREAT & SURRENDER.  But that's not what stepping back really is.

All those arguments are all traceable back to cynicism when in fact, more often, all we need is a timeout, a break, a temporary respite from being in the middle of those struggles.  A timeout literally stops the clock from ticking.  And once it stops ticking, that gives us the time to re-energize and regain our drained 'battery strength'.

Whether it's about your relationship, your business, your career or even your health, there will be crossroads in our life when we need to make a call, for us to STEP BACK. Too bad we developed that very WRONG idea that the only direction is UP and any other direction is a FAILED one.

How then do we handle things if we are in a quandary ?  #1, DON'T ever go for a quick fix.  There's NO SHORT CUT, only a SURE CUT.  #2, re-evaluate and reassess things all over again, top-down and if you need to flag down yourself for misguided decisions, so be it.  #3, DON'T SECOND-GUESS yourself.  When forced to make decisions that force you from your comfort zone, FEAR REARS its UGLY HEAD.

Do note that although changing paths is scary, the cost of sitting on your hands doing nothing about your unhappiness is much worse for you.  Studies showed that sticking it out DESPITE YOUR UNHAPPINESS can lead to illness or emotional exhaustion.  So, rather than dwelling on the time you'll lose, look ahead at the challenges that can boost your happiness, leaving you fulfilled every day.  Despite the dark clouds, the SUN is behind it.  All we need to do is look at that 'BIG PICTURE'. ❗❗❗

Are You in 'POLE POSITION'

Are You in 'POLE POSITION'

 Everyone cherishes being in that POLE POSITION.  We just love those moments, that exhilarating feeling of being 'atop the world'.  Indeed, the world loves winners and heroes.  That explains why the big-time winners and success stories have throngs of communities giving them all the adulation.  And as we are always advised, let's savor every moment then because when we're at the POLE POSITION, everything seems to be effortless akin to being in an auto-pilot mode.

How often do we witness the media-frenzy when a new Miss Universe is crowned, when a new CEO is appointed, when a bemedalled runner romps again with the Olympics gold medal, when a candidate wins in an election, when a university graduate romps up with honors awards, when a businessman continues to see his business expand its footprint.  Just one too many success stories where these winners are savoring every moment BUT here's the BUT.  Good things and good times can't just go on forever.  One day you will slide down from your top pedestal.  Later, you will slip and skid.  Down the road, you will lose that luster.

Once we're at the POLE POSITION, savoring those moments, let us NOT lose sight that we CAN'T rest on our laurels for so long.  The PARTY's got to stop.  You can't celebrate forever.  Too bad there have been horror stories where the winner celebrated like there was no tomorrow until he got DRUNK with SUCCESS, whew !

C'mon, it is imperative that both our feet are always on the ground.  We got to get a handle of what SUCCESS is.  True we do achieve milestone successes BUT that's not the end of our journey.  Just like the old locomotive train, we gotta choog-choog-choog until we reach our endpoint.  Never take your latest promotion at work or your latest sales turnover as the final goal.

Now, before you get knocked off from the TOTEM POLE, here are the very BASICs so as you can PROTECT YOUR SUCCESS:

• STAY CONNECTED - don't isolate yourself
• STAY DUMB - by staying constantly curious
• STAY HUMBLE -  practice HUMILITY.  In between successes, fill a glass, grab a broom✅✅✅

Are You on Knife-edge ?

Are You on Knife-edge ?

Who's not been on knife-edge yet ?  Been there.  Been through it and it's damn TOUGH man.  When ALL THE CHIPS ARE DOWN, when YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ACE CARD LEFT, when ALL THE CARDS ARE STACKED AGAINST YOU, what is left in you?  Two things that will remain in you, namely, your SOUL, your SPIRIT.  And as long as you DON'T lose both, then there remains your fighting chance to turn things around even if you're on that KNIFE-EDGE.

When ALL THE CHIPS ARE DOWN, that means you're into situations that become extremely DIFFICULT and pushing you towards DESPERATION. And it is during these very trying times when our mettle gets tested.  How far more can you walk [and probably crawl when and where you may be going into that lifeless state] ?  But despite all these bleakness, there are bright spots in these dire straits.

And what are those BRIGHT SPOTS ?  Oh, finally, effortlessly you can figure it out who are your 'genuine' friends who will remain to stick it out with you even at your lowest point.  Zillions of relationships have disintegrated because the 'TRUE COLORS' of supposed real and genuine friends did turn out to be UNREAL.  To be forewarned is to be forearmed.  So, why don't you filter things out as early as now if and when you're not yet on KNIFE-EDGE ? 

So, how do we get out from that KNIFE-EDGE?  Firstly, let's have that SENSE of REALITY by accepting that situations of being at the lowest point do happen.  Secondly, we need to PUT IN THE WORK.  When you're deep down in the mud, let's face it, you need to exert a level of effort that may be ten-fold compared to what's normal.  Thirdly, you gotta START SOMEWHERE all over again as you pick up the pieces.  Fourthly, if you got DECLINED, REFUSED, REPUDIATED or REJECTED, take it as a catalyst that will be a SHOT IN YOUR ARM.  Take it that it will make you more resilient despite all the trials in your life.  BELIEVE in YOURSELF ❗❗❗

Are You Onboard the 'HYPE TRAIN' ?

 Are You Onboard the 'HYPE TRAIN' ?

Hype Trains ?  They're everywhere. So many things in life now get HYPED and its for our taking.  And since those are HYPE TRAINS, it's normal that they are very much inducing, inviting and enticing.  And these HYPE TRAINS, they have tons and tons of tricks up in their sleeves to TRICK us.  And what's the HIT or MISS record of these HYPE TRAINS ?  We won't believe it but easily, at least 50% of us easily do fall prey to these HYPE TRAINS.  And have you seen these trains in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh ?  You might have second thoughts once you do see these trains.  Not to worry though. HYPE TRAINS are much better than all these.

So what's the fuss about these HYPE TRAINS? It's because not everything hyped to be really nice and dandy are indeed nice and dandy.  How many times in our lives have we been DECEIVED, DEFRAUDED or DUPED ?  Surely, we were duped more than once in our lives.  Duped by all these HYPE TRAINS. HYPE TRAINS we wrongly believe in.  HYPE TRAINS who were smooth-talkers !!!!  Poor us.

How not to get DUPED or DECEIVED ?  Numero UNO, we may disagree if we are tagged as GULLIBLE so i'll figure out a more 'palatable' adjective.  Let's then admit that most of us are OVERLY TRUSTING who tend to swallow the stories of dupers and fraudsters hook, line and sinker.  

From folks who pour bucks into investment scams, to those who follow the faith of scientologists, believing in [mis]fortune tellers, or those who seem to champion unfounded medicines akin to snake oil, out of naive trust, it's not a matter of low intelligence that moves us to, without evidence, believing in the words of salesmen amongst others.

One thing we gotta remember. We won't hear the last from HYPE TRAINS.  One too many of them are scattered all over the place [in fact all around us].  What should be our top priority now is to figure out is do we tend to be drawn to gullible behavior so that by knowing that, we can end up LESS GULLIBLE and LESS duped by HYPE TRAINS.  In the shortest words, we need to figure out HOW WE CAN BE TAKEN LESS LIKELY again ✅✅✅

Consequences of Choices

Consequences of Choices

My apologies for the mix-up of this poster.  No sirrrrs, CHOICES and CONSEQUENCES are not at par.  One is NOT the alternative of the other but instead, they go hand in hand because CONSEQUENCES happen as a result of CHOICES we make and decide.And obviously, there's one more variable in the equation.  There are consequence as well even if you end up defaulting from making a choice.

Choices are akin to the coin.  There are simply two sides in it.  You might argue, that more often there are more than just two choices [and that's correct] but regardless if there are two or ten choices, all of those choice options will have to be tagged as either the correct or wrong one, the good choice versus the bad.  There is NO 'MIDDLE of the ROAD' even if you decide to default from making a choice.

Who says that most of our choices in life are that petty or minor, such that we should NOT spend so much efforts before deciding on the choice ?  We gotta accept this fact that all our choices, both the petty and minor ones plus the big-time ones, they are all part of our MENU of OUR LIFE.  Whatever circumstances we are in now, whatever situation we're now locked in, it's all because of the choices we made along the way.

One most common pitfall I've witnessed over and over again.  Many of us are so analytical to the extent that our chronic analytical loops are pushing us into the ANALYSIS PARALYSIS conundrum.  And this is not just pitiful but it's really dreadful.  WHY ?  I have seen lives that are now NOT JUST STALLED but really wasted because the person was caught up by all these ANALYSIS PARALYSIS.

Heard of folks getting beaten black and blue either in the slums of Mumbai or the ghetto neighborhoods of New York ?  Question.  Why were they beaten BLACK and BLUE ?  Simple answer.  It's because they decided to venture and go there, probably even traversing the dark and narrow alleys [either in the New York ghetto neighborhoods or in Mumbai].  Had those victims not choosen and decided to venture in those locations, what's the probability that they would have ended up in the same fate.  Likely, close to ZERO probability.  In a nutshell, LIFE is WHAT YOU MAKE IT, folks.❗❗❗

Why Mornings are [damn] TOUGH ?

Why Mornings are [damn] TOUGH ?

Happy Sunday !  Oh no, this could a boring topic for you.  Hope not.  Talking about mornings, how TOUGH they can be [regardless of age brackets].  Hmmmm, sorry, I'm not implying that this gif cover is a spoiled brat.  In fact, what we see now is a typical l'il girl going through the motions similar to us adults.  The difference is that these kids are that innocent yet for us adults, there's just NO WAY OUT.

Indeed, this ordeal plagues more adults than kids [TO BE HONEST].  Just look around your household.  Ooooops, no need to look farther.  Let's face the mirror and stare at ourselves.  Aren't we more guilty than anyone else ?  Why do we need to struggle every morning ?  Oh, we have tons and tons of reasons [a.k.a. ALIBIs and EXCUSES].  Oh, I had a bad quality sleep last night.  Because it was stuffy.  Because the aircon seems not cold enough.  Because the neighborhood dogs kept barking.  Because the heavy downpour was so noisy, I was worried of roof leaks, etc.

And BTW, this time around, we can't point our fingers at alarm clocks.  Got tons of it, with all the functionalities smartphones can offer.  In fact, FRANKLY, just to set the alarm clock, we wantonly spend so much time setting it up.  Oh WHAT TIME should I set.  How about the ringtone ?  And the volume ? Ooops, should it be at my bedside ? Or atop my headboard ?  Jeeez.

Yes but of course, we need coffee.  That's a non-issue but what next ?  Damn it, quite simple.  When the alarm clock goes off, COUNT 5-4-3-2-1 to overcome that coziness from your sleep.  Wake up at the SAME TIME everyday.  Develop that DISCIPLINE.  Everyone does have problem with time BUT REMEMBER, the day has just 24 hours.  From the remaining 16-18 hours, you gotta LEARN SOMETHING NEW.  May not be a new skill.  Could be enhancing your KNOWLEDGE BASE.  Could be dissecting this pestering pandemic [instead of shying off from everything about it [because I do admit, we're getting an overdose of it]].

Thing is, SET A GOAL [that's NON-NEGOTIABLE].  What makes us dull, lethargic, listless, sluggish ?  More likely it's because we didn't SET A GOAL for that day.  Many times my wife gets flabbergasted why I wake up damn early during Saturdays, much earlier than business weekdays.  SIMPLE.  I set a goal for the next day [latest before I hit the sack the previous night].  And my goal is crystal clear enough, e.g. I must be at the Citibank premises before 0800am for onsite transactions. Which means, I gotta be driving by 0700am.  Which means, I should be on my fee by 630am.  Which means, my alarm should go off by 0600am.  Presto !  More often, my time-table happens as how I plotted it.  Back to our wake-up woes.  Look deeper for your morning struggles.  Are you wrestling with the same flashpoints day-in and day-out or are they one-off instances [e.g. you just came back from a long-haul travel] ?  Whatever it is, give this a serious thought.  You DON'T want your self-discipline to go from BAD to WORSE, right ?  Shape up please, if you don't mind❗❗❗

The Realm of Possibility

 The Realm of Possibility

The realm of possibility, did we ever give it a serious thought, if at all ?  Unfortunately, I think most of us [and I'm guilty of that in the past] never gave it a serious thought.  Why ?  It's likely because most of us tend to 'LIVE IN THE MOMENT' which by itself is laudable but the pitfall is, we tend to savor those moments way long after the "PARTY'S OVER".  

Why then do we get stuck 'LIVING IN THE MOMENT' ?  Maybe, because we take that as our COMFORT ZONE.  Maybe, because we FEAR the UNKNOWN even vaguely Maybe, because we thought that TOMORROW WILL NEVER COME.  Or worst, we tend to tag anything that's unknown or unfamiliar grounds to us as within the REALM of the IMPOSSIBLE.  And indeed, that seems to be the most common storyline we hear or read over and over again, be it in our lives or the personal lives of people known to us.  How often do we hear pessimists and naysayers retort, "OH NO, THAT'S NOT MY CUP of TEA".  Or... "I'M JUST NOT INTO IT".

Instead, why can't we dodge that fear within us, that FEAR of FAILURE, that FEAR of the UNKNOWN ?  Can't we keep our head when everyone around is losing theirs ?  The thing is, all of us have seen an inkling of our destiny but we dare not to listen but instead, simply we're more prone to ignore it. 

Frankly, why don't we 'LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY'.  Once we STOP DREAMING, that leads us to 'GIVE UP ON OUR VOLCANO' after all our compounded mistakes, disappointments and failures in life.  Before we know it, we tend to prematurely 'THROW IN THE TOWEL'.  At that point, do we realize something ?  That by that singular act of self-abandonment, we end up SELLING OUT on our TRUE POTENTIAL, feeling we're not that good enough, not wanting to make mistakes.  Once you unconsciously work against yourself to make sure you don't get it, you begin to sabotage your own potential.  So, why don't you turn around , take the best shot and 'LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY'.

And now if there's a magic word, it is "BELIEVE".

Once you believe in yourself, 'the IMPOSSIBLE BECOMES POSSIBLE' but this goes beyond words.  You gotta MATCH your WORDS with ACTION.  And that ACTION has to be very focused, very consistent and persistent when you stumble across rough patches.  BELIEVE ME, you won't lose anything going outside your COMFORT ZONE.  You WON'T lose trying something you haven't ventured in life.  You WON'T end up a loser for even trying and failing because each failure brings you one step closer to that elusive success you will eventually realize.❗❗❗

Do We Deserve a 'SLAP on the WRIST' [always] ?

Do We Deserve a 'SLAP on the WRIST' [always] ?

We all make mistakes.  Who does not anyway.  But the bigger question, as an aftermath, how do we deal with ourselves ?  Do we subject ourselves to lengthy and endless 'harangue' similar to the way we give the kids a 'tongue-lashing' ?  Probably yes [but me thinks, LIKELY NOT].  My speculative guess is that we simply give ourselves a SLAP on the WRIST for our mistakes !@#%?&

Bluntly, the best person to 'STRAIGHTEN' us up is our very own selves.  Not even your partner.  Not even your loved ones.  Not even your boss at work.  Problem is, most of the time, we simply avoid facing the mirror.  Had we had that intestinal fortitude to face the mirror and confront ourselves as to where and how did we go wrong, you would have been a better spouse/partner, a better work mate, a better colleague.  But how can we improve our lot if we are so damn 'SOFT' on ourselves ?

Not to be biased on cultures but everyone should be familiar as regards the discipline of Japanese.  If you're tracking local news from Japan, it may not come out as 'news' anymore when you come across suicides  amongst Japanese.  And I agree, it doesn't end up as 'news' anymore because it's more prevalent than in most other cultures.  But from a holistic view across longterm, do we envy how Japanese end up with more success stories than ourselves who [wrongly] feel that SLAP on the WRIST is the appropriate reprimand we deserve ?!@#$%

What do we do then once we slip up ?  Go fasting ?  Avoid bathing ?  Remain unshaven ?  Unfortunately, those are exact samples of SLAPS on the WRIST.  C'mon, why don't we look into the root cause of our issues ?  Take a self-check.  Do we have BAD HABITS that seem to be 'KILLING' your self-discipline ?  Yes folks, WHY DON'T WE ATTACK the ROOT CAUSE of all our travails ?

Why don't we step back and look at things from a monk's perspective where the 'GREATEST POWER' is to be self-controlled, where we are encouraged to focus on our mind and energy, undeterred by anything else in life.  As monks say, detachment is not that you owe nothing but rather detachment means nothing owns you so the greatest detachment is to be close to everything without them consuming YOU.  And when YOU realize this, YOU won't just be slapping your wrist in your next slip up.  Please do.✅✅✅

Bang For Your Buck

 Bang For Your Buck

Who doesn't appreciate $$$.  We all welcome $$$.  The huge divide surfaces in the manner we humans want to earn and receive those bucks.  Too bad, many of us want things the EASY WAY, earning $$$ with the least efforts and preferably with very minimal sacrifices, if at all.  There is that very huge disconnect between expectations of most of our population because most of us were shaped and wrongly influenced by the misguided notion that we are all entitled to DREAM BIG and EARN BIG even with minimal efforts, even when just coasting along.

Too bad many of us [even I myself in the past] thought that since you deserve to earn a plum, you can dictate the ounces of efforts to be exerted.  Too bad those days when there were dole-outs left and right are a thing of the past.  As we now exist in a world of meritocracy, we gotta EARN the HARD WAY.  Can't be the EASY WAY in a FAST LANE.  Who claims that since your academic marks are impressive, you deserve a high-paying job role soon ?  Who claims that in your workplace, you deserve to do a quantum leap and overtake the equally deserving tenured ones?

Even for school kids, allowances should not come as easy as 1-2-3.  Even these school kids gotta EARN the HARD WAY no less. Again, even in school, meritocracy should be in the core of it all.  Once our school kids [wrongly] perceive that $$$ can be theirs in that EASY WAY, things can go wayward.  If we pave the roads so damn smooth for the passers-by to walk through with all the comfort, they will [wrongly] think that they deserve that EASY WAY.

Heard of parenting stories wherein the new dad learned the hard way of replacing his baby's diapers ?  Thereafter, when he lifted his baby, he felt that SENSE of FULFILLMENT !  Heard of an office worker who was grinding damn hard at work, being the first to arrive and the last one to shutdown his machine.  When he got promoted, he felt that SENSE of FULFILLMENT !  

Today, INSTANTS are everywhere. INSTANT coffee.  INSTANT noodles.  INSTANT parties.  Ask for it, you will have it EXCEPT one thing.  EXCEPT SUCCESS.  CAN'T be an overnight thing.  CAN'T be a quick thing.  CAN'T be a one-off effort and voila !  Tears and sweat will have to be combined as you trudge your way towards that treacherous trek towards success.  Work your way up.  Sweat it up.  Please DON'T put all your EGGS of HOPE in those LOTTO stuff, those JACKPOT chances because those are one a million.  And if you do hit gold that easy, gold can drift away that easy as well.  TO BE FOREWARNED IS TO BE FOREARMED.✅✅✅

Get Back On Your HORSE [fast enough] !

Get Back On Your HORSE [fast enough] !

Everyone falls from the horse's saddle.  Who does not fall down anyway ?  In life, we fall multiple times, some of which are minor falls while some are 'HARD FALLS' and for the most unfortunate ones, sometimes that hard fall even becomes a fatal or tragic one.  But unless those falls are either fatal or tragic, what else is expected from us ?  Obviously, we gotta GET BACK ON OUR HORSE [fast enough].

Don't get me wrong, 'HARD FALLS' are not limited to failures.  In our cyclical lives, we could have heard of the difficult postpartum recoveries of moms.  So, while that is not comparable at all to real life failures, moms going through the challenges of postpartum would be clinging to family support structures and this is when our loved ones really play a singular role of uplifting them.

Falling down [even in a 'HARD FALL'], especially when you're perched from UP HIGH, is indeed a hard fall but a 'HARD FALL' is never the end of the world.  In school you might have gotten failing grades.  At work, you might have lost your job.  Or your relationship with your partner just ended so fast.  But however and whatever is the severity of your 'HARD FALL', it's never the time to raise the white flag because there always remains a GLIMMER of HOPE, no matter how faint those hopes are.

What's next after a 'HARD FALL' ?  Recovery follows and if you have to reboot things like powering on a laptop whose battery runs flat, so be it.  In truth and in fact, a REBOOT or a RESET is your best card of ace because just like when repowering your laptop, all the counters reset to zero.  There's just NOTHING to LOSE when you lost everything anyway.  BUT as long as you DON'T LOSE your will power to carry on and pick up the pieces.

True, you won't see happy faces around.  When you're down, you could end up with realizations.  A realization that not all friends are indeed genuine friends.  A realization that when you're down, there's hardly anyone you can cling on but yourself.  A realization that if you need to restart things all over again, you have to summon anything and everything that is left in you.

In fact, if you can downplay things, just do it.  Take that hard fall as just akin to slipping past banana peels.  And if you keep that 'banana peels' mindset, each time you fail or fall, you won't waste time being back on your feet again [although deep inside, you could still feel wobbly or weak].  But who else will boost you BUT YOU ❗❗❗