The Negative Aspect of Being Positive

The Negative Aspect of Being Positive

All along, we have been harping, promoting and egging everyone to be POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITVE.  Now,  here I am, bannering the negative aspect of being Positive.  Oooops, am I turning around and eating up my very own words?  Not really.  In fact, NOT AT ALL.  Instead, we want to reinforce the fact that we should not take everything to the letter, hook, line and sinker because such is life, it can never be perfect, it would never give us the blanket guarantee to be always on the safe side if we follow general principles.  Instead, there are "WHAT IFs' which we need to be wary of.

What we DON'T encourage is TOXIC POSITIVITY as it becomes an obsession with positive thinking.  It is the belief that people should put a positive spin on all experiences even for those instances that are extremely tragic.  TOXIC POSITIVITY can silence negative emotions and make people feel under undue pressure to pretend to be happy EVEN WHEN they are struggling.  In some cases, it may even be self-imposed.  A typical example is a person may try to appear happy all the time by presenting everything in a positive light.  However, it can also be an external pressure such as when people tell a person who is grieving to move on or to look for a positive in their loss.

Unfortunately, TOXIC POSITIVITY can come in various shapes and forms.  Asserting after a catastrophe that 'everything happens for a reason"?  Urging someone to focus on the positive aspects of a devastating loss?  Telling someone tp get over their grief or suffering and focus on the good things in their life.  Labelling people who always appear positive or do not share their emotions as being stronger  or more likable than others.

Generally, POSITIVITY is NOT harmful.  However, a person who believes that they must only be positive may ignore serious problems or not address underlying mental health issues, if any.  On the same breadth, people who demand positivity from others may offer insufficient support or make loved ones feel stigmatized and judged.  And the risks of TOXIC POSITIVITY is dangerous no less.  HOW and WHY?  We could be IGNORING REAL HARM and that's very risky.  Unfortunately, optimism, hope and forgiveness increased the risk of people staying with their abusers.

Demeaning a loss is a NO-NO as well.  Grief and sadness are normal in the face of loss.  A person who repeatedly hears messages to MOVE ON or be happy might feel as though others do NOT care about their loss.  A parent who lost a child, for example, might feel that their child was unimportant to others and that will only compound their grief.  And our fix?  Balance things out❗❗❗

Always [as in ALWAYS] Practice the Shots You Need to Shoot

Always [as in ALWAYS] Practice the Shots You Need to Shoot 

Oh no, many of us tend to shoot down when this topic surfaces.  OH, WE KNOW THAT.  THAT'S A GIVEN.  THAT'S A NO-BRAINER.  All the stuff you can hear from a devil's advocate.  Our dilemma is, in real life, we really end up spending LESS TIME to improve our craft.  Why that disconnect?  When in truth, we should Always [as in ALWAYS] Practice the Shots You Need to Shoot !

DON'T look far.  How come those medical frontliners have been DAMN SO GOOD when administering those Covid jabs and shots?  Simple.  They always [as in ALWAYS] practice the shots they need to shoot  So, what's our shortfall here?  Often times, we [wrongly] thought that being in our 'comfort zones' give us that mantle of expertise with a 'DO NO WRONG' mark which, at the very least, is a FALLACY.

Over in the NBA, there's that 'PAVED ROAD' that will lead you to BIGTIME SUCCESS but what does it take to end up with millions of $$$$ way more than you would need in your lifetime?  From the time a budding player straight from college [e.g. from Duke U, Michigan State, name it], then they get picked in the NBA Draft, then they start off their NBA career at the 'ROOKIE PAY'.  Give it 2-3 years, they could be extended a 'MAX ROOKIE' pay that could start somewhere $100 million whew!   

BTW, these are NOT outlier stories.  For the less than 500-strong NBA players active in the rosters, the 1st and 2nd quadrant of players have inked huge mind-boggling multi-year contracts.  What led these players to one success story to another?  Now this is the worst ever secret we can spill.  They always [as in ALWAYS] practice the shots they need to shoot  When do they practice? NOT JUST during mandated ballclub trainings but even during the NBA Offseason, they have plotted their individual intensive trainings, with a retinue of trainers on hand.  In short, they invest in $$$$ to improve their craft.

The hard lesson for us all is this.  You can be at your peak now.  You may feel that you're on top Mount Rushmore now.  BUT here's the serious BUT.  There is simply NO guarantee that you'll remain atop come next day or even in the short or long term.  That explains why these highly paid NBA players are really hardworking dogs in the kernel, never stopping to ALWAYS PRACTICE THE SHOTS THEY NEED TO SHOOT✅✅✅

Steer Clear of Controversies, period

Steer Clear of Controversies, period.

Happy Sunday, enjoy your brewed coffee alongside our piece today.  Oh yes, this reminds me of one of the most basic NO-NOs in life.  That is, we need to remain to Steer Clear of Controversies, period.  Why?  First off, they are unnecessary.  And if it becomes unavoidable, ask ourselves, do we deserve to get embroiled in a controversy that can drag and worse, besmirch your name and character?

When this pandemic hit us hard, all over the world, we heard folks scampering to the supermarkets, attempting to scoop as much as they can during that 'panic buying' mode.  So POSTERIZED WARNINGS were placed all over the place.  And what if we did breach those POSTERIZED WARNINGS? We would have been caught, questioned and worst, penalized by the authorities, right?

Unless we are part of the forest wildlife, it does not take a huge human effort to Steer Clear of Controversies.  How?  READ the rules.  FOLLOW the rules [to the letter].  And worst of all worst things in life, NEVER EVER attempt to circumvent and go around the rules.  Being 'sneaky' can lead you to UNNECESSARY troubles which could have been EASILY avoided or averted in the first place.  Let us NOT be like those animals in the forest wildlife.

Oh yes, this is one of our most common mistakes [and I'd admit I made this same mistake over and over again in the past!], that is, making assumptions in a misplaced manner.  Classic example, something that did happen in the past becomes your assumption.  You got it all wrong, dude.  NEVER use the past as a barometer for your next move.

So what's our fix?  Be your own Mr FIX IT.  How?  WIDEN and EXPAND your perspective.  DON'T get 'hostaged' by the myopic [a.k.a. shortsighted] view of things.  If the solution you're eyeing for a problem will lead you to another round of problem [or worse, controversies], hold things in abeyance, STEER CLEAR of CONTROVERSIES, period❗❗❗

Staying Afloat and Alive

Staying Afloat and Alive

Happy Weekend folks.  Oh no sirrrrs, please DON'T misconstrue this first pic.  Certainly, we DON'T want anyone to be screaming for HELP, not out there in the waters anyway.  Instead, we'd like to dissect why many of us are hovering and bordering around the boundaries in life where Staying Afloat and Alive becomes the norm day-in day-out.

First off, we are NOT buoys, those objects anchored and constantly floating and serving as navigational marks in the waters.  So, if if ever we have that mindset to be Staying Afloat and Alive, that is disconcerting to say the least because it infers that our goal is nothing but to survive.  Is that all in life?

Can we imagine our lives akin to that struggling fisherman who ends up spending a big chunk of his time at sea by constantly thwarting, foiling to stymie the predators lurking around the vicinity of his boat?  Let's look back into our lives.  Imagine if every day, we spend at least 50% [or more] of our energy and time to JUST SURVIVE LIFE, to be JUST ABOVE WATER to Stay Afloat and Alive? If that's what you are in, life will be too exhausting draining, wearying and just too taxing.  But we DON'T deserve that kind of a vicious cycle, right?

So what's our alternative?  First off, being in a situation WAY OFF MUCH BETTER than just  Staying Afloat and Alive WON'T COST A FORTUNE!  See these kids in the coastal areas of North Africa, LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST?  Why is their life seemingly more buoyant, much more resilient? Simple.  It's because they are living a life that does not intend to be just Staying Afloat and Alive.  Barring a tsunami-like wave, these kids will remain HIGH and DRY!

So. what's our antidote to this vicious cycle of just Staying Afloat and Alive?  Oh, this poster is screaming "DREAM BIG" no less.  Say what you want.  AIM FOR THE SKY, SHOOT FOR THE STARS, GO FOR THE MOON.  Grab any of those one-liners and have it as part of your mantra in life and I can lift and raise your buoyant hopes that your life will be better off because you have notched up [NOT JUST INCREMENTALLY] your motivation not to just Stay Afloat and Alive❗❗❗

Riding Out The Storm

 Riding Out The Storm

We DON'T need introductions when it comes to storms and hurricanes.  And BTW, we won't spend even a second to talk about storms as a weather phenomenon. Instead, we'd like to spend a fraction of our time with regard Riding Out The Storms [of life] because this is a reality we got to embrace and more than just embracing, this is for us to deftly handle Riding Out The Storm.

The mother of all ironies is that despite the fact that storms are as common as daylight and sunlight, it's flabbergasting why many of us still end up struggling in handling the rage and fury of the STORMS IN LIFE. Want to know the FAILURE RATE of people caught in a STORM?

So, the $64 question is how do we get to Ride Out The Storm?  No simple trick but let's put it this way.  First things first, after the initial shock, apprehensions and probably coupled with fear, you need to calm down yourself.  Not until you simmer down, you can't get back to what is normal.  But once you have calmed at least internally, take a 'DAMAGE CONTROL approach. Prioritize the MUST DO's over the NICE TO DO.

Once you have your TO DO List, do it asap based on your priorities.  And where there are one too many priorities, go for the HIGH RISK issues as you need to mitigate and control it, just like if the floods have impacted your home such that waters are getting inside your home.  So what's your TOP PRIORITY?  It is to relocate your family to SAFETY FIRST.

And as you are in the midst of whatever 'STORM IN YOUR LIFE', keep that hope burning that further down, the seas will calm, the skies will clear and your situation will simmer down.  And that is guaranteed because after all, all these are the cycles of our life.  The worst thing I always dread is when you fail to RIDE OUT THE STORM because what happens next is could be speculative but the chances for you to survive that STORM in LIFE is all up to you, dude✅✅✅

The Weather Can Change So Fast

The Weather Can Change So Fast

So sorry, I am not here over-stretching out myself to be a Mr Weatherman this time around.  But rather, I'd like us to spend time about the weather' in our life.  And I guess there is no convincing here needed.  While we nurture life from its infancy till it becomes a full-blown one, regardless of any successes or milestones we could have achieved, The Weather Can Change So Fast such that things can change in an instant.  All the hoopla and funfare can suddenly turn into gloom, a breaking news story of a major success can instantly turn into a heartbreaking gloom.

In a moment, the strong winds could be swaying trees towards the east but in an instant, those trees can suddenly sway the opposite way.  A peace and tranquil pervading in a community can suddenly turn into a total bedlam and pandemonium [oh, remembering the recent arbitrary shootings really scares me to death].  A bond that glues a seemingly stable relationship can suddenly thin out, all because The Weather Can Change So Fast

And allow me to quote Lisa Carpenter, the famous Canadian Master Coach who says 'LIFE CAN CHANGE IN AN INSTANT", all because The Weather Can Change So Fast.  Unfortunately, today I started off working from home with back to back conference calls.  Lo and behold, in the middle of the flurry of tasks, suddenly, I thought my BP was shooting up because I was kind of felt dizzy, my head spinning.  After about 30 seconds, when I tried to call a colleague, she had to excuse herself because she was at the evacuation site.  What?

Whoa, an intensity earthquake did hit that part between Taiwan and Northern Philippines. Fatalities and damage to properties should easily hit hundreds of milliions but the thing is, we got to remember that in life, The Weather Can Change So Fast, in an instant, in fact.

What then is the antidote to all these?  Nothing really except for us to ENJOY THE MOMENT, not yesterday's [because that has passed], not tomorrow's [because we DON'T own what has yet to come].  Meanwhile, continue reinforcing that robust relationship with your bosses and peers at the workplace, reinforce that tight bond with your partner/spouse because that's all that matters in life because The Weather Can Change So Fast✅✅✅

When The Jury Is Still Very Much Out

When The Jury Is Still Very Much Out

Whether the jury system exists in your country or not, our common denominator is that in life, decisions are NEVER instant.  It does not just pop-up like popcorns.  But the question is, how relevant is this for today's piece?  Very relevant. Why?  Because in the cycles of life, for multifarious things to happen, more often than not, dependencies are a constant in the equation.  Many things cannot move forward unless and until a decision is arrived at, whether unilaterally, collectively or agreed on in a collegial body.  Or it could be a conjugal decision is the very fact that tells us When The Jury Is Still Very Much Out.

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Let us buckle down to real life and here's a couple who are lurking out there in the market for a residential property in the 'up market'.  But if there is something that stops that from moving forward, probably, the couple themselves have not agreed [as a couple] whether to proceed with the planned property purchase or wait till when the bears lord it out in the market.  Until then, the jury is still very much out.

Now, let's go for the facts.  How many marriages failed, how many business joint ventures floundered and how many families ended up in turmoil simply because one or more of the protagonists that the 'decision point' has been reached when in fact, just extend your neck out, you'll know the jury is still very much out.

Oh, how about that highly watched Bill Cosby cases that combined sexual assault sexual battery and even rape for accusations that purportedly started from way back the 1960s, whew.  In the end, it was simply ironical because his first trial ended in a mistrial.  And taking things literally, this was the exact culprit.  Until then, when the jury is still very much out, no verdict came up not until just recently last March 2022, the US Supreme Court ordered with finality the closure of all Bill Cosby cases.

In fact, every single circumstance in life has always a 'show stopper'  Many things can't just move forward unless the dependency is successfully hurdled.  Let's swing to the workplace.  If your work performance record is 'spotty' at best, how can you frame your plans of 'moving up the ladder' when your bosses and stakeholders have considered you to be on 'probation', someone to be observed, tracked, watched and monitored before anything else can move forward.  Unless the skies become as crystal clear as the waters, hold things in abeyance because the jury is still very much out✅✅✅

That Rent Is Always Due

That Rent Is Always Due

Oh yeah, we cherish those moments where we were like atop Mount Rushmore after garnering top honors in school, after receiving a coveted plum up the totem pole of the organization.  Or you finally received that sweet 'YES" from the girl you wooed and swooned head over heels.  Or you could be that budding entrepreneur whose first foray into commercial business just skyrocketed with its ceiling [for growth] way up up in the sky.  But never forget "That Rent Is Always Due".

Despite all those string of successes, lest we forget that SUCCESS is only LEASED. It was NOT akin to that land title for a sprawling lot you both in Utah or South Carolina. The problem is any success we win is just very TEMPORARY, it is akin to a LEASE RENTAL and the thing is That Rent Is Always Due.

I hate to piggy-back on this poster but this says it, i.e. that SUCCESS KILLS OUR CREATIVITY.  Well said, in fact. And I have to confide my very own mistakes in my past after I enjoyed the early successes in my life.  I was TOO celebrating.  I was TOO cocky.  I was TOO complacent.  In the fewest words, I was TOO drunk with success. full stop.  And do you wanna ask how did I wake up from my deep slumber?  I had to stumble and fall down to realize I was near 'drainage-level'. 

There's a trap, though, in life.  Do you know what what you did smell, detected and/or savor may NOT be success itself?  Heard about that bragging rights about the carrots story?  Well, you know well who got duped with that farcical success.  Point here is that, every coveted success which we eventually reap is only a LEASE of LIFE that gives us that breathing room to celebrate for a while and after all the kampai's it's GRIND GRIND GRIND.  Why?  Because That Rent Is Always Due.

Not to be biased but sometimes, in the midsts of all your celebratory moments, you end up with people who may be able to BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU.  Those are the folks who would stick with you with the best intentions, folks who'll stick with you through thick and thin.  And most importantly, be with folks whose feet remain firmly on the ground to remind you when That Rent Is Always Due❗❗❗

When Is The Right Time To Pounce

When Is The Right Time To Pounce

No sirrrs, today's piece is NOT about stocks or even about AirBnB.  We're still all preoccupied with life itself, thus asking  When Is The Right Time To Pounce?  Be it grabbing an opportunity, fixing a problem or even coming to terms with your partner/spouse after a serious altercation, it all boils down to the question When Is The Right Time To Pounce?

Obviously, there are sequences pre and post to a given situation.  We pose, we pause before we pounce and in the end, bounce.  WHAT to do WHEN and HOW boils down as to When Is The Right Time To Pounce. In fact and in truth, If your timing is off track, you can never hit pay dirt.  If you're about to ink commercial contracts, it all boils down to timing.

Oh, this poster says a mouthful.  Apparently, it says that the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago.  The second best time is NOW.  What this means, taking the plunge may be the RIGHT TIME to pounce because there is nothing to dig back twenty years ago.  Dilly-dallying and not gathering the courage to take a concrete step and make a decision is a common culprit.  Swing back the pendulum, sometimes, when a move is ill-timed [like when the move was done prematurely], things could go awry as well.  The challenge is figuring out the 'BEST TIME' to make a move that should neither be TOO SOON nor TOO LATE.  Many strategic moves end up as inutile all because of timing.

So, when is the RIGHT TIME the RIGHT TIME?  Take a finance/accounting approach when you list down all the PROs and CONs in a "T" account table. And since not all PROs and CONs are apples-to-apples, you weigh things holistically.  Look at the big picture and that should lead you to take an INFORMED DECISION.  What's the story behind successful businessmen?  They'd say it's their business acumen.  I defer to agree on it.

Even in the midst of gaps and disconnects, if confrontation is inevitable, the impact of such confrontation could end up in totally differing results, no thanks to taking the BEST TIMING.  If there is a wildcard that throws a monkey wrench, it is our human EMOTIONS.  Let it cool off and simmer down because that will be the RIGHT TIME to POUNCE❗❗❗

Way Out of the Box

 Way Out of the Box

Good Sunday morning.  May I ask, how often do go WAY OUT OF THE BOX?  If you throw back that question to me, let me give you a brutally honest answer.  NOT OFTEN.  And if you will chase me with WHY?  I'll not pass the buck to anyone else but myself.  WHY?  Simple.  It's ON ME, all my fault.  Maybe because it is human nature to be complacent when life is not that bad.

 As the old cliche goes, IT TAKES A VILLAGE.  My simple put back is this.  Generally, we are triggered by what we see around, hence IT TAKES A VILLAGE. And during those time when we have a brilliant idea, it can take some convincing to have others onboarded.  Whether it is a group project or a business process reengineering at the workplace,  IT TAKES A VILLAGE.

So, how do we really start THINKING Out of the Box?  Here's where I want to quote American actor Dwayne 'THE ROCK' Johnson who states that 'MY WORK, MY GOAL, MY LIFE, IT'S LIKE A TREADMILL.  AND THERE'S NO STOP BUTTON ON MY TREADMILL.  ONCE i GET ON. I KEEP GOING'.

In life, it is one thing to be hungry, it's another thing when you're starving for greatness and you're starving for success.  Often times in my life, a DOOR CLOSED and a WINDOW DIDN'T OPEN.  The only thing I can attest to was CRACKS and through sheer determination, I'd do everything to get through those CRACKS. 

What sets apart great athletes like Michael Jordan, Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt and Tiger Woods, among others?  Well, for most athletes who get injured, they'd say "I'm going to wait it out for the next 3-4 months.  But for the great athletes, they will find they have an eighth and ninth gear.  a gear which probably they've never gone before.  And what pushes you further to the precipice is yourself, your mindset to go Way Out of the Box✅✅✅