When Is Something NICE May NOT Be That NICE?

 

When Is Something NICE May NOT Be That NICE?  WHICH reminds me of a travel blog we read recently WHERE the HOT topic was Japan.  And we admit that although I had prior travels to Japan, they were all business trips so there's that stark difference if you're on a holiday with your family WHICH we did had it spanning two weeks last year.  And even as we speak now, we WON'T stop blurting out all the positive words about Japan.  BUT recently, I came across insightful sharings from expats WHO have lived in Japan for the longest time, an American WHO's been living there for 18 years and an Indian WHO's been there for 20+ years.  Without mincing words, they blurted that Japan is a NICE place if you're a tourist😡😡😡 

Well said BUT out of respect to the sensitivities, I WON'T delve much as to WHY those two expats in Japan have that kind of insight.  Having said that, I realized that being NICE works well with strangers.  BUT beyond strangers, we are more after the long haul, the long term.  I remember an academician WHO had a PhD student WHO was smart in all the researches BUT was struggling in his comms skills, so he gave the student that frank feedback.  This is a sampling where he was NOT NICE BUT he was kind enough to share him his honest feedback💥💥💥

True, most of us want a NICE romantic partner because a NICE person is expected to be considerable and generally agreeable.  So, WHAT'S NOT LIKE? And indeed, NICENESS in a partner can be that appealing at first, limiting friction and making them easy to be around.  BUT some of that positive behavior comes at a cost of more desirable attributes like genuine kindness OR authenticity, both of WHICH may sometimes struggle to coexist within someone WHO's always busy placing NICE💚💛💜

If at all, experts counsel us to be wary of tell-tale signs that may lead to a potential RED FLAG down the road:

• Trying to CHEER YOU UP - YES it's one thing for someone to care about your well-being and another to have them monitor your mood instantly.  And YES it can be stifling and quite exhausting to feel AS IF a partner always has their finger on the pulse of your emotions
• AVOIDING Conflict - Disagreements and conflicts are difficult so we may appreciate if a partner avoids it BUT just as crops need sunshine and rain, constructive conflict is essential in a health relationship

Our takeaway:  Much as we like NICENESS, the truth is, we'll get more out of our relationships with a 'WHOLE' human being WHO has passions that AREN'T centered to me OR to you.  They can still love you fiercely and also find deep meaning in things that have NOTHING to do with you.  OH YES, with a too-NICE partner, that NICENESS comes at the expense of honesty and let's face it, an honest partner is and will always be our best long-term bet in life as they WON'T shade the truth in ways that make today easy at tomorrow's expense.  Instead, they're willing to be FULLY themselves and want you to be exactly WHO YOU ARE.  That's WHEN SOMETHING NICE MAY NOT BE THAT NICE at all dude😡😡😡