The MOST DIFFICULT Point in Our Life

The MOST DIFFICULT Point in Our Life

Setting aside our day-to-day problems [which will never end BTW], what has been your MOST DIFFICULT Point in Our Life ?  Regardless whether you are just starting your academic life or you have now started to carve a niche in your career life or whether you are contemplating to settle down for good or you're contemplating to become an entrepreneur and run your own show,what could be your MOST DIFFICULT Point in Our Life 

It may be difficult to admit it but we got to accept what's probably hounding us throughout our life, that moment when you have a firm plan and you are at the precipice to take the first step towards a concrete goal or plan.  True, either way it is a scary place to be when you aren't sure what the future holds.  Hurdling that crucial point and moving your first foot forward will always be the MOST DIFFICULT Point in Our Life

But hey, noting is more consistent in life than endings and beginnings, and when you embrace that reality, starting over does not seem so daunting.  On a personal note, I'll humbly admit that when I put into action my plan to migrate to another country, I turned upside down the supposed MOST DIFFICULT Point in My Life by turning it as one of my best milestone success to date.

This poster is 'spot on'.  That is, your first step forward does NOT take you to where you want to go.  BUT here's the big BUT.  It does take you out of where you are NOW.  Isn't that a positive note to start with ?  Extricating you from that foxhole.  Rescuing you from that quagmire you were stuck to.  If you've decided to take the risk of migrating to a country new to you, that doesn't guarantee you that you will become an immigrant but that sets you forward towards achieving that goal.

If you're now in a state of stupor because you're struggling whether to push through with your first step or not, it does NOT matter if what you're about to take is NOT yet a quantum leap.  I'd etch on stone my declarative statement that your first step forward brings you one step closer to your goal.  So, do gather that gumption to overcome that MOST DIFFICULT Point in My Life and it has to be NOW, dude❗❗❗

Are You in a FREE FALL ?

Are You in a FREE FALL ?

Mr Webster defines FREE FALL as that state wherein the free falling object that is falling under the sole influence of GRAVITY.  Any object that is being acted upon only the force of GRAVITY is said to be in a state of FREE FALL.  Over to our life, did you experience your life being in a FREE FALL at some point in the past ?  Definitely, each of us must have went through that state at some point in the past.

If it where an event in our life, FREE FALL is part and parcel of our life.  BUT where it concerns the actual state of your life, then we gotta pull the brakes, pull all the stops and trigger the most drastic measures to radically change the situation by pulling and grinding it to a halt no less.

The biggest question though is not that actual FREE FALL itself but rather HOW and WHEN can we detect that indeed our life is in a FREE FALL ?  Fairly simple.  Firstly, when all your fumbling acts and failures hit you consecutively.  Failures that happen close to each other's heels point to a looming and bigger problem that may hit you [VERY SOON] down the road.  When tell-tale signs and/or premonitions are shaping up, those are NOT to be ignored.  Our worst mistake is shutting off our eyes and looking at the opposite direction.  Bluntly, that is a dastardly cowardice act because, even if we ignore and disagree it, not getting into that realization that things may turn from bad to worse will be your worst undoing EVER.

If in school, your LOW marks are becoming a lot more, if at work, you had to explain numerous times your foul-ups, if your relationship seems to have hit rough patches or if your business seems to be in the RED for so long now, this is your last hurrah, your last hope to jump and take your parachute solution ASAP.

BUT when the unimaginable happens and life goes into a FREE FALL, it simply boils down to one choice and that is to face it head on.  When you are kind of stripped back to your bare bones, there is nothing but the PRESENT MOMENT, that uncertainty.  There is only trust that whatever happens or doesn't, it is perfectly designed for our deepest evolution.  And while all of this ricochets through our lives and the people all around us, let me quote this POEM:  When disaster hits, please it rip you open.  Let the pain lead us into our hearts, not out.  Let it show us how much we love.  And let the horror tear down our busy schedules and kick us out o safety.  In the end, IT'S ALL ABOUT OUR CHOICE✅✅✅

Confidence Matters

Confidence Matters

Few days back, I was into my remote work when my wife egged me to watch the final round of the most recent Miss Universe Pageant.  And with no effort, I obliged because finally the 80+ candidates will be whittled down to the Final Five.  And historically, the way they handle the Q & A will dictate who responds 'with flourish' will go up to the Top 3 favorites. To cut the long story short, our preferred candidate in that Top Five to go up to the Top 3 didn't make it. Why ? Me thinks that indeed Confidence Matters and at that juncture of the Q & A, she was quite fidgety and despite even her smile betrayed the veneer of peace she exuded.

Indeed, Confidence Matters and it can lead you to new heights you haven't reached yet in life.  Admittedly, I didn't have that confidence way back my grade school days but when I moved up to high school, with me getting squeezed by our school's cream of crop, I had to push myself more than just hard enough.

Let us not get in a hard-sell on this.  Confidence Matters simply because confidence will lead you up to new heights.  And even if you're in a crowd, the likelihood is that you will stand out from that crowd if your confidence will be there to push you much harder and farther.  Being part of the mainstream is just not enough.

Assuming our confidence level right now is somewhere at the cellar, REPROGRAM yourself.  What it means is you need to convince yourself that you can accomplish a thing and that will exponentially increase your odds of obtaining what you desire.  SET A GOAL and GO for IT.  That's crystal clear enough.  GET FIT.  Simply put, unless you're healthy, your confidence will go nowhere.  PRACTICE GRATITUDE.  When you express it, that will boost how you feel about yourself.  

GET OUT of your COMFORT ZONE.  Force yourself out of your comfort zone, your CONFIDENCE will shoot up dramatically, promise.  Lastly, EMBRACE SPONTANEITY.  Once we force ourselves to be spontaneous, we stretch ourselves, allowing ourselves to be open to potential discomfort and the uncertainty of the unknown.  Being spontaneous exposes us to scenarios where we don't have a script easy enough to rely on.  As such,  SPONTANEITY FORCES US TO ADAPT.  Let's pick up the pieces folks. Don't forget though that CONFIDENCE is ONLY A PART OF THE RECIPE, that's not the only recipe✅✅✅

Be a Flower, NOT a Weed

Be a Flower, NOT a Weed

Being partial or bias to flowers rather than weeds does not make us effeminate, right ?  So, there should be nothing loathsome if we all say in unison that we'd rather Be a Flower, NOT a Weed.  But of all things, why do we want to dump off the weed ?  Simple.  This is like comparing day and night, the sun and the moon.  There's just no room to debate that this is NOT all about gender but instead, just calling a spade a spade.  And we can epitomize the flower, then why settle to become a weed at all ?  In our global village, living life is pretty simple.  It's either you are on the right side or the not so right side.  Either you are on track or you're off track.  Either you'll end up a success or failure.

On the other hand, if we look at things scientifically, they even say that a WEED IS JUST A FLOWER GROWING in the WRONG PLACE.  So, would you rather be tagged as a flower growing in the wrong place because that means you're one of those weeds ?

C'mon, not to put down the weeds out there but here's another non-debatable take, that is, WHERE FLOWERS BLOOM, SO DOES HOPE.  So, that's a second argument for or against weeds versus flowers.  Would you still cling to be a weed if this poster screams that indeed there is HOPE where FLOWERS BLOOM ?  Let's swing back to our lives.  What keeps our life alive ?  What keeps our belly burning ?  What keeps our adrenalin up at an ante ?  What keeps us digging for the long haul ?  It's all about HOPE, the HOPE that we're on the right track, the HOPE that we will make it at the end of our journey, maybe bruised and scathed but another success story securing the success we have all dreamt of for the longest time.

This is all that will keep us going, digging for the long haul, regardless if we have stumbled numerous times.  In life, I can attest [on a first person basis] to witnessing people who not only buckled down but really gradually dissipated, evaporate and simply went pfffffft in thin air simply because they lost that remaining hope which they need to cling to, if only to keep them going, if only to keep them motivated every step of the way.

So, do we agree that generally, weeds do grow BUT they grow in DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS ?  Whereas most flowers we see, even before they bloom, we all effortlessly become aware of its eventual trajectory.  So, WILL YOU BE A WEED with a trajectory that will remain utterly unpredictable ?  Or will you be the epitome of a flower which offers much hope EVEN BEFORE IT BLOOMS ?  Think about the parallelisms of flowers and weeds versus our life.  There's just so much for us to continue learning and realizing what lies ahead in our life if we continue to be nursing so much HOPE❗❗❗

The Apple Does NOT Fall Far From the Tree

The Apple Does NOT Fall Far From the Tree

You don't need to have a green thumb to agree that the Apple Does NOT Fall Far From the Tree at all.  The fallout is as simple and straightforward as a straight line.  There is even no outliier in these cases because the trajectory never varies based on the gravitational force.  Such are opportunities in life as well.  Opportunities that are up for grabs don't need a drone or any other devices for you to drill-down on such opportunities as they are right there around you, within your periphery.  

Indeed, what explains why opportunities, like apples, cannot really fall far from the tree ?  This is a no-brainer.  If you're in the Americas Region, do you think an opportunity in Europe will suddenly pop for you ?  Let us take a cue from entrepreneurs.  They do not even wait for the APPLE TO FALL, not at all.  Instead, they even become the trigger or catalyst to CREATE AN OPPORTUNITY [effectively from nowhere].  And this is quite puzzling but this is indeed true.

So, if opportunities cannot just abound from afar and if indeed we can create opportunities like entrepreneurs, where's the beef ?  C'mon.  Entrepreneurs were tagged really as entrepreneurs because for them, an opportunity can all start as a seed that gets planted.  And how do we plan those seeds of opportunities ?  IDEAS IDEAS IDEAS. And I can attest that in the past, I finally had those opportunities because it all started as an IDEA

So, that's how things started for many of those opportunities I did grab in the past.  It started with a raw, untested and unproven idea.  Then I started to iterate it, validate it until it was bullet proof-ready for me to grab.  Had I sat on the ground and waited, those opportunities would not have come, that I can be sure of.  But how can IDEAS germinate to become a full-blown opportunity ?  VALIDATE if that idea will be feasible, in the first place.  If it is, proceed to PLANT that SEED on the right ground, with the appropriate sunlight it needs [remember, some seeds will not survive when exposed to the sub].

Once that seed lives past its survival stage, nurture it till it matures enough, in time for your picking.  Thinking of those opportunities like LOTTO ?  Forget it.  Your life will be doomed if your life will hinge on LOTTO.  Enough of that LOTTO mindset.  Bluntly, it's time for us to realize that, IN LIFE, there is NO FREE LUNCH.  We got to earn for it, dude✅✅✅

The Sun, The Moon and The TRUTH

The Sun, The Moon and The TRUTH

We may not be Buddhists but I'd like to share this widely quoted statement from Buddha:  THREE THINGS CANNOT BE LONG HIDDEN, namely THE SUN, THE MOON and THE TRUTH.  And this should not be a hard-sell anymore because the sun and the moon are everyday givens.  But with THE TRUTH, that's where we'll get stuck up for a bit as we dissect it down further.  Through generations, societies across have varying versions of THE TRUTH.  And that's when things become murkier because in the real world, how can there be more than a single version of THE TRUTH ?

Do we really need to spend time and debate about THE TRUTH ?  Absolutely since these times, THE TRUTH often have a second version and surprise of surprises, sometimes there is even a third version.  But why is Buddha widely quoted for this ?  It's because tons and tons of TRUTH versions have been churned out by governments, by private entities and in our personal lives, we could bear witness to more than just one version of it.

 Few days  back, in Oslo Norway, this year's Nobel Peace Prize awardees were feted with no less than the Swedish Royalty gracing the occasion.  And if there was anything significant about this year's awardees, both are journalists who have been fighting for the TRUTH and nothing less than that.  And in the midst of their struggles, both of the journalist awardees from Russia and the Philippines were fighting institutions and sometimes, their very own governments

And what happens if we do end up as the vanguards of TRUTH ?  But instead, what if we end up peddling either the half-truths or worse, the non-truths ?  Here's the take.  While you may want to conceal the TRUTH to gain benefits out of it, such dividends will be very temporary because as Buddha says, eventually, the TRUTH will come out and that will be a huge setback for you because you may end up in a situation much worse than what you have been had you settled for the very TRUTH itself.

Look back your academic life if you're still in school.  Look back at your work.  Look back at your relationship with your loved ones.  Look back at your business.  Do you think you will be better off and in better shape if you peddled things other than the very TRUTH ? Think along those lines because we do not want you to end up in a miserable state simply because of your own undoing, that of not realizing that the TRUTH is what matters❗❗❗

Be Wary of Shortcuts

Be Wary of Shortcuts

We all love shortcuts, don't we ?  It save time and probably effort and even money.  But is that true of all shortcuts in life ?  No sirrrrrs, a log of us either failed or at least stumbled down because of shortcuts. And who is to be faulted for those stumbles ?  Don't blame the shortcuts because they never sold themselves to you but instead, you leveraged and stretched them out thinking that they will solve you a big chunk of time, effort and even monies.  This is the irony.  We seem to easily succumb to the shortcuts in life simply by word of mouth.  Why do we easily fall prey to many purported shortcuts in life ?  Be Wary of Shortcuts

The mother of all ironies is that no one is hard-selling us to go for shortcuts.  It's human nature to fall prey to shortcuts even if no one has proven that indeed those shortcuts do work.  Shortcuts in school work.  Shortcuts at work.  Shortcuts in one's relationship[s].  Shortcuts in the business you're running.  What is the common denominator of all those foul-ups ?  We were either misguided or misinformed that that particular shortcut really works when it has hardly been proven.

You might throw the kitchen sink to me and ask as to why there are shortcuts in all the apps we have in our devices?  Oh let me clear the mix up before things get so blurred.  The shortcut in an app is obviously confirmed to be functional 'cos that's part of the apps and solution.  But that is not the case in our lives.  And what is the most common road wrongly taken by most of us ?  It is that road that supposedly leads to our goals, to our success.

And I have to pity many of us who got caught in the quagmire because of the supposed shortcuts in life.  That SHORTCUT to BIG BUCKS.  That SHORTCUT to SUCCESS.  That SHORTCUT to a TOP CAREER.  That SHORTCUT to the most ideal relationship.  That SHORTCUT to be an IMMIGRANT.  True, many do succeed but more than 90% fail.  Why ?  They get lured by offers simply because they are blinded by offers to be an immigrant in a western country.  They end up duped by money-driven tricksters and defrauders.

If there are NO SHORTCUTS, what do we have then ?  Only SURE CUTS, as my brother coined this long time back.  And I admit I took the SURE CUT when I did hurdle my school deliverables.  I did take the SURE CUT with the end view of becoming an immigrant [which I did become until I became a naturalized citizen of my adoptive country].  I did take the SURE CUT in my relationships as well as I did bide my time until I was sure of things.  And I did take the SURE CUT till I realized that the company I've been working with for close to eleven years now will likely be the company I'll eventually retire✅✅✅

Seize the Day RIGHT NOW

Seize the Day RIGHT NOW

How familiar is this one-liner:  OH YEAH, EVENTUALLY I PLAN TO SEIZE THE DAY BUT RIGHT NOW I'M JUST PACING MYSELF ?!@#$% whew.  Seriously, I bear witness to hearing and witnessing that one-liner amongst and within my relatives and circle of friends.  And a zillion times I pitied them because to me, they are that miserable to miss SEIZING THE DAY RIGHT NOW.

Why do we need to pitch for everyone to SEIZE THE DAY RIGHT NOW ?  Isn't this a no brainer.  No sirrrs I vehemently disagree that this becomes moot and academic [because it's NOT].  On a first-person account, I have witnessed numerous, repetitive moments when people PUT OFF FOR TOMORROW what can be SEIZED TODAY.  In real life, I've seen people who were jobless but they were angling for the most ideal job [and that's fine] but what's regrettable is that numerous opportunities for alternative job options slipped.

Carpe Diem. this is a Latin aphorism translated as SEIZE THE DAY.  It urges us to MAKE THE MOST OF THE PRESENT.  It's a given that we have lofty aspirations.  Even the not so competent and qualified persons do have aspirations that sometimes seem to go well beyond the roof and that is the sad part because people end up stuck with non-progress.  Pitiful indeed.

What's the antidote for this ?  Yes sirrrs. RISE UP & ATTACK THE DAY WITH ENTHUSIASM.  A zillion times people confided to me that they start to feel the jitters when Sunday is almost over because the next day is Monday.  Others confessed to me that they felt drained on a Monday morning, what ??? In a counselling manner I talked to those people who confided to me in confidence.  I tried to understand where they were coming from and when I did dig up for the triggers of those pitiful confessions, the common refrain is that during Mondays, there are one too many tasks to be done.  Oh geeeeeez.

Sharing my practical solutions [and I can attest this works]. Firstly, remember you can only do so much, so if you're at work, that means prioritizing your tasks realistically to be done [in a normal pace] within that 8-hour window.  If tasks seem back-to-back, allot quick logical breakpoints or respites in between tasks.  That is task buffering [but hey, please DON'T buffer an hour in between tasks].  Five to 10-minute breaks between tasks should be reasonable enough.  If a task will entail travelling/driving, factor-in the reasonable total elapsed time [barring unforeseen events along the way].  When it comes to our relationships, if it seems dented or strained, dump off to the trash bin that misplaced PRIDE and instead, reach out by SEIZING THE DAY right now and reach out to your partner/spouse.  Why put off that attempt to reach out when your misplaced PRIDE allows you ?  What comes with that misplaced PRIDE will be a PRICE you have to pay.  Shape up dude❗❗❗

Are You Playing the LONG GAME

Are You Playing the 'LONG GAME'

Our lives can never be simple as we want it to be.  Truth of the matter, life itself is a complex web of intertwined equations with variables and unknowns.  But the question that keeps bugging us is how do we discern that indeed we are  playing the 'LONG GAME' [or NOT] ?  That is a very crucial unknown that needs to be pinned down because we need to align our actions with the realities.  Because at the end of the day, it is NOT for life to adjust to us but instead, it is for us to tweak and twist ourselves to the turns that is popping up in our life.

But do you know that TO PLAY THE LONG GAME, you gotta get yourself into the much shorter game ?  Taking a leaf from that old adage, a JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND STEPS STARTS WITH A FIRST STEP.  So, let's not be overwhelmed and get misguided by the thought that long-term goals need a long-term approach.  Because that statement is double-edged.  Because it all boils down to taking the correct first step for you to be on track.  Take that misstep and you are far from taking the next misstep as well.  

Let's even take the most simplistic example of gaming.  How will you approach that kind of gaming ?  It's either way.  If that is a one-off thing, obviously, you'll take the short game but where you are into a grueling marathon, the way to go is to PLAY THE LONG GAME.  If you're a student, are you aiming for high grades within the semester?  Or are you aiming for honors when you graduate ?

To simplify things, nothing beats setting long term goals because our trek in life is never short-term.  Let's talk about relationships ?  How come things are siZZLING so hOt at the start and yet things seem to fiZZLE out in the long run ?  Simple.  It's because either or both partners were playing the short game rather than the long game  Not that they treated it as a one-off thing but by skipping or failing to set your LONG-TERM GOALS, you end up getting trapped into the cocoon which is very much a short-term game.  If that couple framed their relationship for the long haul, they could be very likely still together till now.

Now, before you get me wrong, you might ask me:  DOES PLAYING THE LONG GAME assure me of SUCCESS ?  No Senor.  No Sir.  You still have to eke things out but what's the difference when you PLAY THE LONG GAME, by default, you will have more options, more iterations to play around your options before you finally take that shot.  Lesson here:  NEVER FAIL to SET your LONG-TERM GOALS✅✅✅

When Man Fails the Tests

When Man Fails the Tests

It's not everyday we go through all kinds of tests in life but when we do go through the rigors in life, the question is, what is our batting average ?  When Man Fails the Tests, what are the ramifications and consequences in life ?  Obviously, that varies but that's not the point though.

A big chunk of those tests though need no more than what is logical and/or practical.  Many of us [yes sirs that includes me in the past] tend to find a scapegoat to cover up our shortfalls and we never stop to blame the left, the right and practically every Tom, Dick and Harry.  If you're a student, failing tests does not mean failing academic tests.  Your academic professor can be testing your attitude when he/she tossed up a need for volunteers [but you KEPT MUM ?].  At work, you may have a colleague who needs to take an emergency leave so someone needs to backfill [but DID YOU VOLUNTEER ?].  

Despite the many 'tests in life', the ultimate tests we need to handle with aplomb are tests related to our relationship with our partner, our loved ones.  Your partner may have indirectly mention that he/she feels to have neglected him/herself but how was it ?  Did you react, if at all? Or did you life instantly become deaf and mute that moment ? Or in business. your new-found customer tested your mettle by requesting a small-small add-on in the toppings [but did you instantly react by saying THAT THAT REQUEST costs $$$$] ?

BTW, when you fail a test in life, what is it really you did fail ?  It could have costs you some things money can't compensate.  You could have lost the CONFIDENCE in you by your academic professor.  Or the TRUST in you by your partner/spouse.  Or the FAITH in you by your boss at work.  Or the GOODWILL you previously earned from your customers. Or you could have lost a fair mix of all those, all rolled into one.

But things do happen.  And they happen for a reason. But when this poster says KEEP CALM, why do we think it is encouraging our calmness ?  It's all damage control, folks.  During those moments when failed the tests, you could be on the verge on giving up, even on yourself.  But what do we gain to KEEP CALM ?  It's simply because we need to get back on track.  Think of those trains that get derailed and go off-track ?  They all got to be back on track.  In life, we do make mistakes.  And we do fail some tests.  But what matters is how quick and swift can we be back into motion.  Word of caution:  be prepared to exert double the efforts to REGAIN the CONFIDENCE, FAITH, GOODWILL and TRUST.  Regaining all these losses require that much efforts all over again.  Trust me✅✅✅