PATIENCE May NOT Mean WAITING

 PATIENCE May NOT Mean WAITING

English may NOT be a language more complex than Russian BUT sadly, many of us continue to stand pat in WAITING and WAITING on the pretext that WAITING is a manifestation of PATIENCE.  Oh Oh this is a gross mix up.  Unfortunately, many questions we have in life require PATIENCE And that involves a big chunk of game-changing and life-changing decisions so PATIENCE May NOT Mean WAITING💎💎💎

Oh, when we were kids, we wade through a long season eagerly looking forward to the next.  We would wait.  Our birthday comes.  So does Halloween [and Trick or Treat].  As we grow, we anticipate being old enough to play a sport, to drive our own car and to vote as a citizen or to have our wisdom tooth pulled.  So, during those days, we sublimely learned 'delay gratification'.  Over time, we learned more💊💊💊

Over time, we may have heard or learnt that IMPULSE CONTROL and FRUSTRATION tolerance can have benefits.  Our lives abound in so many opportunities to practice developing these habits.  We should have heard stories that tell us that devoting TIME, MONEY and EFFORT can bring rewards that CANNOT be gained without FOCUS, HARD WORK and yes, that ability to DELAY GRATIFICATION📌📌📌

So, what's our FIXes?  First off, PREPARE.  If you want to migrate to France, learn French.  If ypu're about to onboard to a new organization, learn the new tools and systems, not just keeping to your existing skills set.  that's being PREPARED.  Secondly, Handle DISTRACTION deftly.  When WAITING becomes uncomfortable enough to derail us from being our normally efficient self, endeavor to SWITCH GEARS to another tack✅✅✅

Yes please, STOP WAITING IN LINE!  What do you gain by passively waiting in the queue?  Is it just being part of the bandwagon?  BUT are you sure everyone in that bandwagon share the same plan and goals as you have plotted for yourself?  Sadly, I know first-hand people who wasted decades of their life simply because they thought they were PATIENT enough when in line.  PATIENCE MAY NOT MEAN WAITING, dude❗❗❗

Are You Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop, Really?

Are You Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop, Really?

Are You Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop, Really?  In simplest English, we're referring to manifestations by some who tend be so apprehensive or worried on something unfavorable that may happen next.  And what's the probability of that worry to happen?  Honestly, only God knows.  Could be anywhere between 1% to 99%.  So, really, the ask is Are You Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop, Really❓❓❓

So what explains why some of us tend to be worrisome?  Scientific explanations do explain its common causes. and topping the list are people who repetitively think NEGATIVE thoughts to avoid NEGATIVE emotional contrasts.  Oh, there is a second jargon we got to grapple with, that's RUMINATION so let's differentiate WORRY vs RUMINATION. While WORRY refers to repetitive NEGATIVE thoughts about potentially unpleasant future events, RUMINATION refers to repetitive NEGATIVE thoughts concerning either present or past difficulties📌📌📌

So that's it.  RUMINATION refers to either present or past whereas WORRY refers to the future.  Despite these differences, RUMINATION and WORRY share much in common as both are peppered with NEGATIVITY, REPETITIVE and UNCONTROLLABLE circumstances.  Not to be an alarmist, both are also associated with mental illness⏳⏳⏳

So, here's what's bogging us.  What ties us up to repetitive NEGATIVE thinking?  Studies show that NEGATIVE repetitive thinking tends to decrease the chances of experiencing NEGATIVE emotional contrasts and instead, INCREASES the chance of experiencing POSITIVE emotional contrasts.  And here's a bit of a twisted take from some worrisome folks.  They would explain that they are focusing on the NEGATIVE because allowing themselves to feel happy leaves them vulnerable to feeling terrible in the end✅✅✅

So what's our FIX [f we can exhaust fixing this]:

• Challenge POSITIVE beliefs regarding the usefulness of repetitive NEGATIVE thinking
• Endeavor to reduce the SENSITIVITY to NEGATIVE emotional contrasts
• Try reducing SENSITIVITY to prolonged positive mood.

So let us NOT Wait For The Other Shoe To Drop❗❗❗

Should We Go From GOOD To GREAT?

Should We Go From GOOD To GREAT?

Oh Oh Oh, this should NEVER be debatable, right?  Should We Go From GOOD To GREAT?  Because the absolute answer is a big screaming YESSSSSS.  But hold on, let me play the devil's advocate at least for this thread.  While I would push and be egging everyone to GO FROM GOOD TO GREAT, this is something that is NOT a no-brainer.  Even in America, the bastion of democracy, while anyone can run for President of the United States, this is NOT a given📌📌📌

In U.S. politics, there is a process both with the Republican and Democratic parties, wherein 'probables' and 'wannabes' go through the Presidential Primaries.  Unless you are a billionaire like Ross Perot who went on with his presidential foray way back 1992.  But hey, Ross Perot is a multi-billionaire.  Now let's get back both our feet on the ground.  What does it take for us to craft an informed decision that we'll GO FROM GOOD TO GREAT⏳⏳⏳

In our life, concerns about our adequacy can take different forms in each person.  A student feels special when he gets good grades.  A young lady may feel better when she's attractive.  Or an up and coming executive feels better when he can showcase his TALENT + POTENTIALS to go up the corporate ladder.  So, what's the commonality amongst all these?  It is our desire to do everything we can to prove to ourselves and others that we are GREAT.  But dude, things just DON'T work out superficially that way❗❗❗

Just like that ambitious gold fist who keeps jumping from the smallest to the biggest bowl ever, probably, since it successfully hurdled the first jump to the middle bowl, that fish became confident enough.  But be aware that it is actually our RELENTLESS trying to FEEL GOOD about ourselves that indeed causes much of our distress.  In a nutshell, a lot of the wounds we are LICKIN' are self-inflicted, no thanks to our cockiness❗❗❗

Take note.  When our GOALS are external enough, we may find ourselves falling short most of the time.  There are always people doing BETTER, so we can feel constantly judged.  And if we ever hit a GOAL we had set for ourselves, we often just raise the bar [all over again].  BTW, raising the bar is PERFECTLY FINE if your ambition to go FROM GOOD TO GREAT remains feasible and realistic✅✅✅

You Need To Get Into Every RABBIT HOLE

You Need To Get Into Every RABBIT HOLE

Today, our thread is NOT about rabbits but instead, we'd like to take a leaf from a rabbit's daily life where their world revolves around the rabbit hole.  But do you know that even before we were born on this Planet Earth, there was a pre-existing human problem awaiting us.  And that problem is WANTING LIFE TO BE EASY.  Unfortunately, that is both a combined fallacy and fiction because the hard truth is, throughout our lifetime, You Need To Get Into Every RABBIT HOLE not only to survive life but to bring you closer to the goals you set for you to achieve❗❗❗

This ISN'T intended to be a post in support of drudgery or making life difficult for yourself.  In the first place, we're all for doing things in the most straightforward and simplest way, however, believing that life should be inherently easy and straightforward is sometimes a 'FAST PASS' to dissatisfaction, anger and worst, depression.  Sometimes, things will come easily to you and it's important to enjoy the parts of your life that seem to slot into place💎💎💎

Having said this, when people assume that things should come easily and believe at some level that the core aspects of life such as relationships and work should generally be plain sailing, it often leads to feeling 'cheated'.  Also, it can feel as if there's something wrong with you if you find certain parts of life challenging while other people seem to sail through, finding things difficult can somehow become a fault or even a character defect⏳⏳⏳

So, here we go.  Like it or NOT, we got to live our life like a rabbit.  As with most beliefs in adulthood, they often stem from our childhood experiences.  Having a sheltered childhood that involved a lack of of exposure to difficulty and challenge often means that WHEN we face any level of ADVERSITY in adulthood it feels unfamiliar and intolerable.  On the other hand, having a childhood of emotional or practical hardship can leave us exhausted and may create a SENSE of WANTING to make it to the FINISH LINE📌📌📌

As we go up against ROADBLOCKS in adulthood, it can be easy to slip into wondering 'AM I THERE YET' as if you're waiting to enter the HARDSHIP FREE ZONE in life.  Of course, life isn't all bad and over time with the right combination of focus as well as HARD WORK, you will then hopefully experience life as being easier than it has felt in the past.  Much as we are NOT rabbits, the harsh reality is that we got to inculcate that 'rabbithole' mindset because that's what life is all about✅✅✅

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries

These days, we all hear that we live in a borderless world, a global village and with virtuality lording it all over our daily lives.  What gets overlooked is if there is a need for us to be Setting Boundaries?  Our problem is, when we hear 'BOUNDARIES', we start to imagine walls that separate us from other people.  In a sense, that is true BUT 'BOUNDARIES' aren't necessarily a bad thing💎💎💎

'BOUNDARIES' are, in fact, they are an important ingredient in healthy, balanced relationships.  They are a crucial part of maintaining your identity, mental health and physical well-being as well.  ''BOUNDARIES'' can do include restrictions on physical actions, such as asking a partner NOT to look through your mobile phone or NOT to interrupt when you're working from home.  They can also be psychological such as asking your spouse/partner to accept that your goals and dreams may NOT always be the same as theirs📌📌📌

So why do we need healthy 'BOUNDARIES'?  First, experts advise that we should reduce'codependent' habits.  Heard of BFF's who were the closest ever such that every moment they are awake, they got to go to the same mall, go to the hair stylist at the same time, shop for wardrobe at the same time, etc.  And there's NOTHING wrong with that except that will lead to extreme 'codependent' habits⏳⏳⏳

Moreover, by setting 'BOUNDARIES', we set expectations when interacting with others.  And look and face the mirror.  DON'T you deserve a SENSE OF EMPOWERMENT and SELF-RESPECT?  Further, look at your need to ensure your physical and emotional comfort and at the same time, clarifying individual responsibilities in a relationship.  Bottom line, SEPARATE your wants, needs, thoughts from those of others✅✅✅

Without healthy 'BOUNDARIES', it's probable that your relationships may become toxic and unsatisfying and in the end, your well-being may suffer.  You might even feel taken advantage of, if a friend keeps asking for $$$$ or feel overwhelmed by STRESS if you feel the need to solve all of your partner's emotional problems.  Or if a parent  continually invades your PRIVACY, you may feel resentful.  Think about the need for SETTING BOUNDARIES❗❗❗

Mental Mapping Of The Game

Mental Mapping Of The Game

Today's thread should NOT be intellectually top-heavy but we'd like to toss up Mental Mapping Of The Game because we got to embrace this in our daily life as much as it is being embraced in competitive sports.  To align, it is defined as a structured way to capture and organize ideas and information [which may seem nebulous, vague and ambiguous💊💊💊

In a not-so-simple daily life scenario, things could get pretty complex and murkier.  With 'MIND MAPS', it could lead us to a crystal clear understanding of that idea at the conceptual level till it is broken down into component parts.  That technique is used to develop new ideas or to break down and better understand the available information.  Whether we are developing new ideas OR organizing existing information, mental mapping a.k.a. MIND MAPS will help us see how information fits together.  MIND MAPS provide an expansive and flexible structure to support one's thinking.  Unlike other visual diagrams, a MIND MAPS is built around a single central topic.  All the information are then anchored to the same point by placing the main idea at the center💎💎💎

In the ongoing NBA Eastern Conference Finals between Boston Celtics and Miami Heat, no less than Boston Celtics Coach Jose Mazulla admitted that there has been a mental disconnect within his team.  What a frustration.  What a waste.  Considering that the Boston Celtics is one of the NBA's most talented roster that is so deep even in a 10-man rotation.  That's the TRUTH BOMB dropped by Coach Mazulla, the mental disconnect⏳⏳⏳

Sometimes, life really gets harder when mental burnout creeps in.  In the simplest terms, MENTAL EXHAUSTION is tough.  Everyone of us could have had this over and over in the past.  WHEN you feel tired and drained after intense physical activity.  WHEN your long periods of intense mental activity can wear you down📌📌📌

So, what are the tell-tale signs of mental exhaustion creeping in?

• Working/Studying long hours with few breaks
• Spending much time with overwhelming burdens
• Exerting so much mental energy thinking through problems, worries and stressful stuff

At the end of the day, let us practice that MENTAL MAPPING of the game we're in because the MENTAL component is at the core✅✅✅

Reading The 'FLIGHT OF THE BALL'

Reading The 'FLIGHT OF THE BALL'

No sirrrs, our thread today is NOT about sports, definitely neither basketball OR golf but their platforms are s analogous in life such that it led us to Reading The 'FLIGHT OF THE BALL'.  So, in life, when we need to be aware of that 'FLIGHT OF THE BALL', our objective is two-fold.  First, we got to know the trajectory and secondly, we need to estimate where that ball will likely drop or land💊💊💊

So, let's ignore golfers and basketball players.  Let's look into our lives as to how do we handle the movements of the ball we start hitting the start.  In the competitive world of sports, players spend 80% of their time organizing and planning their efforts.  Obviously, everyone has his/her own way to plot his/her efforts, lay out the goals, and finally execute the plan💎💎💎

Getting organized in the first place is typically the most challenging part because he start off with a 'misstep', there is a likelihood that you will be doomed to fail.  So, HOW and WHERE do we start.  Let's piggy-back on what they call TIME BOXING⏳⏳⏳

TIME BOXING is simply organizing your schedules and priorities.  And as you may tweak it AS YOU GO, be cautious of turning it upside down along the way.  You just need to COMMIT to it.  Adding breaks in intervals will help you focus on the task in front of you without distractions or interruptions.  That Xtra focus helps you to work more effectively while still allowing for rest to prevent you from getting burnt out📌📌📌

Now, here's the thing.  Once you see the ball's flight and trajectory, know WHEN TO GIVE UP.  We got to realize that we CAN'T WIN THEM ALL [and never expect to].  You can learn a lot from missing the mark but the important skill here is knowing WHEN TO THROW IN THE TOWEL.  You can exert a lot of time and energy that would be better spent doing something else.  Lesson here is that by READING THE FLIGHT OF THE BALL you can 'NIP THINGS IN THE BUD', pre-empt failure if it becomes imminent✅✅✅

The Game Isn't Over Till It's Over

The Game Isn't Over Till It's Over

Good day folks.  For our thread today, what made me decide for this thread were the recent Games 1 & 2 of the ongoing NBA Eastern Conference Finals between Miami Heat and the Boston Celtics.  On both games, Boston was leading up to the final quarter until the whole world within the Boston Celtics collapsed and they lost.  Lesson is The Game Isn't Over Till It's Over❗❗❗

Clearly, we all deserve to either initiate or simply enjoy CELEBRATIONS.  Great leaders identify, measure, recognize and reward meaningful efforts and achievements, and celebrate often with the people involved.  Indeed, CELEBRATIONS help meet people's for inclusion, innovation, appreciation and even collaboration.  Clinical scientists say that our brains are designed to be 'SOCIAL', and the need for human contact is greater than the need for safety⏳⏳⏳

Even this news from the Daily Mail broadsheet way back December 2000 gave this headline-grabbing statement.  Not a premature CELEBRATION but instead, a premature assumption that was NOT founded on solid grounds.  Now let's listen to what neuroscience tells us that what impacts us can have that 'domino-effect' even on our healthy physical and emotional changes with those CELEBRATIONS.  What is lamentable is that we tend to be prone to celebrate prematurely.  And this is happening everyday across us📌📌📌

Heard of someone celebrating because he just signed off a job offer?  Not to clamp on what people deserve but my take is, for that scenario, I'd rather be more thankful and grateful rather than being CELEBRATORY. WHY?  Because frankly speaking, other than you signing that job offer, you have had no latest accomplishment to boot yet, at that✅✅✅

So, when do we deserve CELEBRATIONS?  WHEN we achieve a breakthrough.  WHEN we achieve something 'BIG' or 'MAJOR'  WHEN we secure a result that is unprecedented.  WHEN we reach a MILESTONE, examples of which are graduations, weddings, silver or golden anniversaries, promotion to a senior role in the organization, finally having your dream home, finally tying the knot with your 'dream girl'.  Other than this, let us NOT be like the Boston Celtics in Games 1 and 2 wherein even Coach Joe Mazulla claimed that they won 3 quarters.  BUT HEY, basketball is played in 4 quarters.  The Game Isn't Over Till It's Over❗❗❗

When MUCH Is Given, MUCH Is Required

When MUCH Is Given, MUCH Is Required

This one-liner may be ages old as the late famous American President John Kennedy was quoted "To whom MUCH Is Given, MUCH Is Required".  Indeed, this strikes at the very core of things that reverberate in our lives.  Either you are still a student in the school campus OR now wooing the 'dream girl' of your life OR you finally land a plum job OR finally hit 'pay dirt' in your first strike in your maiden foray as an entrepreneur💎💎💎

No sirrrs. while this one-liner is widely mentioned in some passages of the bible, I don't want to falsely come up with a farcical facade of a wisdom that clearly DIDN'T come from me.  Instead,  much as we are all entitled to ask and dream for the moon, if we did land that plum of a prize, that's when PAYBACK time kicks in, even if no one forewarned you on this📌📌📌

That historical admonition by President Kennedy many decades back speaks NOT only to those who benefited by material wealth OR comfort as he was addressing then those placed at the NEXUS OF OPPORTUNITIES, people who were now straddling along the corridors of power.  But hold on.  We DON'T need to go up to those lofty levels.  Instead, let us reflect as to what we wanted and what we asked in the past which we were given.  If indeed we were given, then To whom MUCH Is Given, MUCH Is Required 💊💊💊

I bear witness a few times in the past wherein I saw how some people [whom I know first hand] were angling for the best fruits up in the trees.  And they got it, harvested those premium fruits and enjoyed it.  But before you know it, they seem to have been so intoxicated with those small milestone successes when they totally blanked out, not realizing enough that To whom MUCH Is Given, MUCH Is Required❗❗❗

What is hardly publicized is that after you get your plum prize, it WON'T be long before the luster of that prize will be gone, evaporating in thin air.  Then you get into that same vicious cycle where you got to grind and kick your ass hard to get back on the road, regain that momentum and keep going all over again.  Here's a STERN warning though. After your first lapse, the margin for error is getting smaller.  To whom MUCH Is Given, MUCH Is Required✅✅✅

Do You Shrink In 'THOSE MOMENTS'

Do You Shrink In 'THOSE MOMENTS'

Oh Oh, today we WON'T attempt to be an SME in a field we are NOT [talking about health] but what does bother us from time to time is when we are confronted with:  Do You Shrink In 'THOSE MOMENTS'?  And THOSE MOMENTS refer are those many times we are in the midst of problems and challenges we're grappling⏳⏳⏳

Well, as stress is an integral part of our lives, we tend to shrug off our racing pulses and constant angst as nothing unusual.  But many researches show that even everyday stress can be leading to changes in our brain that makes us vulnerable to mental as well as social disorders ranging from depression to addiction and even behavioral conditions💎💎💎

On the other hand, studies conducted during the recent pandemic have led many experts to identify the benefits of ADVERSITY.  Apparently, seismic events of this nature challenge our faith and hope, even wanting to give up in some cases.  But then again, the recent pandemic was also a time for us to dig deeper into our inner resources and harness the ADVERSITY to fuel our resilience📌📌📌

Many people have attested that ADVERSITY catapulted them into life's deeper waters, forcing them to mine their inner resources, face the threat, and come out stronger on the other side.  Recovering alcoholics and drug addicts often report that hitting ROCK bottom is their greatest blessing because it did wake them up to a better life., one that is healthier and more satisfying.  In physical fitness circles, they call it that 'TREMOR OF TRUTH' when you test your BREAKING POINT❗❗❗

Studies have also shown that even social media has done more harm than good.  When we are stuck in the shallow of material gain [a new house, a glitzy car, exotic trips to Maldives and Bali], it can propel us into temporary highs that usually FLATTEN out after a very short time.  Seismic events, on the other hand, plunge us into an all-time low for a while.  So, why should you SHRINK IN THOSE MOMENTS✅✅✅