I Can, I Will, I Must

 I Can, I Will, I Must

How often do we pester ourselves and ask oneself when something needs to be done or accomplished ?  Oh, personally, I have known several folks to be that 'ANALYTICAL'.  And to be fair, for most people I've personally come to know as 'analytical', literally they would analyze after going through all iterations and permutations.  End result ?  They are then into their next step, i.e. analyzing their analysis.  I'm serious, I've witnessed people into this conundrum  and I sadly commiserate with them because, with their analytical capabilities, they will end up in 'ANALYSIS PARALYSIS' because they end up paralyzed and either unsure or simply indecisive 'TO GO FOR IT' simply because of that 'ANALYSIS PARALYSIS'.  

Now let's nail down things and call a spade a spade. In every thought process where the outcome is NOT a no-brainer, we just need to go through a 3-point TEST, namely:  CAN I do it, WILL I do it and MUST I do it.  Where all these interrogatives end up in a resounding affirmative YES, then DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.  No IFs, No BUTs and NO TOMORROW's.  For a not so simple action, acting on it may not mean literally tomorrow but within a concrete and specifically committed timelines.

So what happens when we are unsure whether what we can and will do, needs to be done as a MUST ?  The long and short of it, that's INDECISION.  And what happens next ?  We gotta fix that INDECISIVENESS, pronto.

Once INDECISIVENESS becomes apparent in our life, that should not be taken for granted.  That is no fun.  So where's the fix ?  Figure it out what's making your decisions hard ?  Are you AFRAID of FAILURE ?  Or even AFRAID of the CONSEQUENCES of SUCCESS ?  Probably, you seem to worry what other people seem to be thinking of you.  And that's a symptom of perfectionism creeping in your life.  

Now, let's get glued to this poster bluntly telling us 'HOW A WRONG DECISION IS BETTER THAN INDECISION'.  In fact, indecisions is not bad per se.  But it becomes that bad when you end up waiting too long.  But question is, HOW LONG IS TOO LONG ?  Grapple with the circumstances at your hands.  Could you end up losing something you've been wanting ?  Will that end up as an OPPORTUNITY LOST if you wait further ?  Or will coming up with the decision become just more difficult if you'll bide your time ?  What's not apparent to us is that INDECISIONS can sometimes become DECISIONS BY DEFAULT.  IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO DECIDE, you are, actually, giving up your POWER of CHOICE.  If you're jobhunting, someone else might be hired.  If you're house-hunting, another buyer might grab that dream home.  C'mon folks, let's get over that hump ❗❗❗

Are You Getting Antsy ?

Are You Getting Antsy ?

Are You Getting Antsy ? Getting agitated.  Getting anxious.  Or just being fidgety or restless.  These are some of our common behaviors which only seems to have exacerbated by this long-drawn pandemic.  Unfortunately, we should not just ignore our very own behaviors that could be symptomatic of a problem.

Fixing an issue has always been a must-do but our problem arises if we ourselves won't even recognize and accept that we got a problem to fix.  If we still accept things as normal yet they DON'T seem normal, then we have a problem.  But question, what's like being antsy ?  Hmmmmm, regardless whether you are a student or a worker now working from home, if there are moments when you feel 'edgy', that feeling that you're seating at the edge of your seat, those behaviors when you become fidgety or restless, those are behaviors that could be symptomatic of a problem. 

Indeed, we ourselves have become collateral damage of the technologies that have sprouted so fast, redefining how information flows at a lightning quickened pace.  Unfortunately, we can't blame technology because we embraced it with no qualms, unbeknownst to us that there will be moment when we'll become ANTSY, sometimes, all because of technology.  Either too much information is flowing or because of the dopamine effect, we kept and kept waiting for likes in our post which is coming in, only in trickles.

Understanding that feeling of anxiety is the way to go because it could be triggered by common causes like EXCESSIVE WORRYING, or your nervous system goes in OVERDRIVE manifested via racing pulse, sweaty palms, shaky hands and even dry mouth.  Restless?  It could point to an anxiety disorder.  Or just being easily fatigued is another symptom of a potential disorder.  

When these manifestations seem to be surfacing, 'nip things in the bud'.  Pre-empt things.  How ? As this poster goes, KEEP GOING.  LOOK AHEAD.  STAY POSITIVE.  And lastly, DO ALL YOU CAN.  To quote Chinese self-made billionaire Jack Ma, WORK HARD TO PROVE YOURSELF.  And if there is ocean-wide difference between us versus the success stories like Larry Page, et al, it's that they never exploring things.  And once they have explored, their comfort zone gets expanded.  Can we follow their path ?✅✅✅

Never Put Yourself in a Box

Never Put Yourself in a Box                                                                          

Everyone seems to ignore anything that looks like a box [especially if the box is empty].  But did we realize that boxes can be seamless, virtual and transparent ?  Quite often in our life, we are oblivious that we have been "boxed in" such akin to being pushed in a corner with no elbow room, no breathing room at that.  And that's the worst thing that can happen because being oblivious that you are already 'boxed in' may mean that you will not recognize that you are already 'boxed in' in the first place.

Indeed, it's tough, man.  Once you're kinda locked in a box, your options are very few, if at all.  Your mobility is close to nil.  And worst, you can't even figure out a fallback plan given your predicament.  If you're a student, can you imagine being dictated upon that you can only enroll yourself in a specific course or curriculum [and nothing else].  If you're working, imagine you're manning operations but you are told that there is/are no contingency measures to mitigate risks of your current operations.  It's akin to things seem to be designed for you to fail, and nothing else.

If you're a coffee drinker, imagine yourself going up to the counter and being told that there's only one coffee available and that's all.  To shun off customers, you will be told that the coffee is pre-mixed, i.e. sugar being pre-mixed even prior to your ordering.  C'mon, doesn't that drive you out as a customer ?  Whereas what's prevailing these days ?  You go to a salad bar, they'll offer you one too many add-ons.  And so are the resto's around.

American book author Catherine Pulsifer said it all: "IN LIFE, IT IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES WE MAKE.  AND HOW THE DIRECTION OF OUR LIVES COMES DOWN TO THE CHOICES WE CHOOSE".  Truth of the matter here is that, first and foremost, you must not lock-in yourself in a box.  Get out of that dungeon. Extricate yourself from that isolation because that situation deprives you of options you can hover and choose the best options for you to arrive at an informed decision.

Now, we can rattle off with the Top 10 or even 100 worst decisions we can make in our life and regardless if we made 10 or 100 worst decisions, there are key reasons why we ended up with those worst decisions.  First, you made decisions based on EMOTIONS.  That is a no-no because your thought process gets to be beclouded.  Second, when FEAR prevails because that leads us to pressured decisions.  Third, when you failed to HOLISTICALLY ASSESS your overall situation.  ❗❗❗

The DIFFICULT Right Versus EASY Wrongs

The DIFFICULT Right Versus EASY Wrongs

We all live in a highly conflicted world.  There are always two sides of a coin, two sides of the vinyl record. two sides of the fence.  Fact is, much as we want consensus building, there can never be any consensus in every single decision point we want to reach.  There will always be two opposing forces whispering through your ears, each one persistent to win you over.

This explains why even in healthy discussions, we will always witness and see someone playing the "devil's advocate" role, which is very fine.  At the end of the day, there can't be an impasse or a deadlock because there has to be a victor and a vanquished as well.  When we are in RIGHT versus WRONG crossroads, the challenge is how to worm your way such that you end up making the RIGHT rather than the WRONG decision.  The bigger challenge is sifting through all the iota of information such that you will end up with the right decision.

But the biggest question that stomps us is this.  Why the hell we as humans, collectively end up with more WRONGS than RIGHTS ?  Simple.  It's because the WRONGS can be reached or done in an EASY and sometimes EFFORTLESS manner.  Whereas the RIGHT ?  You got to piece together all iota of information, validate it, separate the practical vs the impractical, the the ethical vs the unethical.  The RIGHT probably entails 10x the effort needed by the WRONGs.  Mind you, a lot of our WRONGS happened effortlessly, regrettably.

More often, we tend to lose our way simply because of those two letters that distinguish FACT versus FAKE.  This explains why sometimes [or rather often times], we take on the FAKE ones as FACTs.  And when we use those invalid facts a.k.a. FAKEs as the basis of our decisions in life, we will end up on the wrong side of things.  Why then it's easier for the WRONGs and difficult for the RIGHTS ?  Easy.  

Because you need to exert very little, if at all, effort to make a WRONG decision.  To make a RIGHT decision, it takes due diligence and tons and tons of effort to come up with the RIGHT decision.  And yet, there seems to be more WRONGs than RIGHTs in our lives.  What can explain that statistical improbability ?  It's that peer group pressure, that herd mentality.  If everyone is taking one path, it becomes a no-brainer for most of us.  To cap it all, I'd like to quote this colorful poster which says: "WRONG is WRONG, EVEN IF EVERYONE is DOING IT... whereas, RIGHT is RIGHT, EVEN IF NO ONE IS DOING IT".

DON'T be What You ARE NOT

DON'T be What You ARE NOT

It's just human we want to be nice but there's a caveat there.  You gotta be WHAT YOU ARE and not WHAT YOU ARE NOT.  If you wanna be nice yet you end up NOT as NOT WHAT YOU ARE, that is self-defeating and likely will boomerang back to you with its consequences and ramifications.  After all, TO BE NICE is NOT the 'BE ALL'.  That's not the end result but instead, it's how you genuinely and honestly handled a situation regardless if you will end up not being nice because we gotta call a spade a spade.

Now we have a problem.  What could be the tell tale signs that you are becoming NOT WHAT YOU ARE.  WHEN you're too familiar with the feeling of sadness.  WHEN you're always running out of time.  WHEN you have difficulty trusting people.  WHEN you have some issues even with yourself.  WHEN you always feel life is boring.  WHEN you feel remorseful or guilty as an afterthought.  

Oh, I like this PRETZEL quote from Karen Salmansohn, an American author with over two million books sold to date.  Karen says:  DON'T TWIST YOURSELF TO FIT INTO WHO YOU THINK PEOPLE WANT YOU TO BE - JUST TO MAKE THEM HAPPY - WHICH THEN MAKES YOUR SOUL ALL TWISTY-LIKE.  BE WHO YOU ARE.  ACCEPT & LOVE ALL YOUR QUIRKY ASPECTS.  MAKE YOUR SOUL HAPPY.  DON'T BE A PRETZEL.  BE YOUR WHOLE ENCHILADA.  Hmmm, very well said.  To capsulize, DON'T twist yourself to be WHAT YOU ARE NOT.

So how do we go about all these ?  To quote Oprah Winfrey, first things first, KNOW WHO YOU ARE.  Unless and until you can figure out your TRUE YOU, things will never move forward because everything takes off from you yourself.  Once you know four-square your REAL YOU, stick to it.  Few basic NO-NOs: firstly, DON'T be a FARCE.  Secondly, DON'T be part of a CHARADE.  Thirdly, DON'T manifest or express something that is not reflective of your genuine side  because that will create a domino-effect of misalignment, distortion and everything that becomes UNTRUE.  As this poster goes, JUST BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE and NOT WHAT OTHERS WANT TO SEE.

Exactly.  BE YOU, no less and no more than that.  And it's not for you to adjust.  Instead, it should be everyone around you who should adjust over to you.  End results may not come out as what we want but by being genuine and true.  Instead, things will surface out as not acceptable to others but by being your TRUE YOU, you will be saved from carrying on that burden of carrying and living a facade that is not your REAL YOU.  Unless you get this message loud and clear, I'm afraid you're not getting anywhere as you're not doing the right things.  You just gotta RIGHT the WRONG.✅✅✅

The ENEMY of GOOD is PERFECT

 The ENEMY of GOOD is PERFECT

Who needs enemies ?  No one I suppose.  Nevertheless, we have to admit that even 'GOOD' has an enemy and is named 'PERFECT'.  You might question why does 'GOOD' deserve an enemy when it is already that 'GOOD' ?  But in our very exacting world, 'GOOD is NEVER GOOD enough because of 'PERFECT'.

BTW, even if we bother ourselves about boiled eggs, the perfect boiled egg and the worst boiled egg could be a 'world apart'.  Which exactly dovetails with our lives.  If you are one to settle with what is GOOD, please rethink your position because that is the least desirable mindset these days.

                                                             

Now here comes the 'new normal' which is 'NEW PERFECT' so 'GOOD ENOUGH' has to make way.  Oh what a conundrum because surely there will be hard core a.k.a. 'stubborn' souls who will insist that ain't nothing wrong with GOOD as by itself you're 'GOOD ENOUGH'.  Oh c'mon folks.

Now let's turn this into a healthy debate.  Do we realize why there are tons and tons of failures in life ?  Too bad we do see the trees but not the forest.  Frankly, if there are just one too many failures, blame it on being 'GOOD' because while 'GOOD' itself isn't bad enough, it is too close to the precipice and portals of failure.  One slip, you will then go down the drain.

Now let's look up to those success stories.  What is it in them that made them capable to reach the zenith of their life's successes despite the steep slopes to climb ?  Simple answer:  they are NEVER SATISFIED with GOOD ENOUGH.  They gotta reach out for the sky even if they knew by heart that they won't reach that far anyway.  Now let's swing back into our lives.  Come next day, can we be MR PERFECT than simply MR GOOD ENOUGH ?⏳⏳⏳

You Are What You 'FEED YOUR MIND'

You Are What You 'FEED YOUR MIND'

The basics and fundamentals of information technology [I.T.] is never different from our own lives even when devoid and detached from technology.  INPUT--> PROCESS --> OUTPUT.  Do you see yourself oozing with all the POSITIVITY ?  Or do you see yourself veering on the NEGATIVITY ?  Or probably you just tend to be that INDIFFERENT, manifesting that "I DON'T CARE" indifference on what's going on around you.  Never blame anyone if you are either indifferent or that negative over and over again.

In today's connected world, there is just one too many content available you can binge-watch, listen to or read from tons and tons of either negative or positive sources.  Let's discuss the BASICs of our MIND.  Learning is INPUT and action is OUTPUT.  Things that get fed into your mind has that potential to create something out of it.  What we learn and listen from others are inputs into our mind.  Our mind then processes and makes sense of what we learned or listened.

This pattern is so common it is everywhere in life.  If the pattern is true, which it is, it raises our awareness that WHAT WE ALLOW TO ENTER OUR MIND CAN RESULT IN AN ACTION THAT WILL CREATE SOMETHING.  

So, what are we feeding our mind then each day? Are we feeding it with new things that open and expand your thinking ?  Are you feeding with positive thoughts ?  Are you feeding it with things that will make a difference in your life ?

Respected American Author Zig Ziglar can be best quoted: 'YOU HAVE TO FEED YOUR MIND DAILY WITH THE GOOD, CLEAN, PURE, POWERFUL and POSITIVE'.  That's it folks.  There are a few fundamental choices to make with what you allow in your mind.  You can feed your mind with NEGATIVE, NEURAL or POSITIVE things, each of which inputs something BAD, INDIFFERENT or GOOD.

Now i'll face the mirror and call a spade a spade.  The past years, I spent some of my time going through trolls and all the fake news in social media.  What did I end up with ?  I ended up so negative of the goings-on around me.  My shutters just went off.  But it's never late to rectify even oneself.

And changing horses at midstream is never late though.  TED TALKS is one of the best forums we can tap for positive inputs in life.  TED TALKS is a deep and huge reservoir of everything that can be positive inputs in our life.  And the best thing is that it's FREE [unless you need its premium services].  Even Youtube is not far different from TED TALKS.  Just last night, I watched the one-hour conferment of a Doctorate Degree to a former Asian President from Loyola Marymount University. With the speeches from the guests [LA Mayor and Congresswoman Walters], I picked up tons of positive inputs into my mind.  I may breach an overflow but that's a happy problem I'd like to have.  So c'mon, let's continue feeding our mind with everything that's POSITIVE.❗❗❗

DON'T Wait for Ice Cream to Melt

DON'T Wait for Ice Cream to Melt

Who says we don't like ice cream.  Everybody likes it, even diabetics.  It's just too enticing and scrumptious to even ignore.  Regardless if it is one unhealthy stuff, everyone of us surely will admit you had numerous moments in your life when you're craving for nothing else but ice cream.  I remember my favorite dentist would remind me to take ice cream after my tooth extraction.  Suddenly, I told myself I found an ally in my dentist.  But seriously, in life, there are one too many things analogous to ice cream.  Even life itself, every slice of your moments, you gotta enjoy it like ice cream.

When do we realize that too much ice cream indeed melted before we knew it?  When do we get awakened to come to grips that after so much ice cream did indeed melt only after we have squandered so much lost opportunities.  And those lost opportunities could be those moments you could spent together with your loved ones.  Or it could be misses in your career life wherein you received the pink slip when you flopped at work.  Or it could have been relationships that turned sour.

Don't get me wrong.  There are times that missed opportunities happen based on our judgment call.  When we decide to trade-off an opportunity in exchange for a possible dividend you can reap in the near future, that becomes an 'OPPORTUNITY COST' that may come out as a valid proposition.  But you gotta play your cards in near-perfect form because one slip of assumptions can push you southward.

BTW, this 'ice cream melting' happens both at work and in our personal life.  And those opportunities may differ but what matters is how you deftly handle such opportunities.  You don't want to be scratching your head when that ice cream melted [again].  And those opportunities that tend to slip beyond us is not all about financials.  The biggest concern is TIME because LOST TIME is LOST FOREVER.  I've seen families [literally] poles apart as the breadwinner needs to work thousands of miles away from home.  And that situation stretches through years and decades.  

So, you might stomp me with this question:  WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO AVERT THE ICE CREAM FROM MELTING IF I GOT TO EARN MY BUCKS AWAY FROM HOME ?'  Short and sharp answer:  QUALITY TIME. Given the limited time families can be together, it all boils down to QUALITY TIME.  Once we end up squandering the opportunities for QUALITY TIME, we CAN'T cling to that 'OPPORTUNITY COST'.  Just got to handle things deftly with 'QUALITY TIME' no less and ZERO missed opportunities.✅✅✅

Fanning the Flames

Fanning the Flames

Fires are everywhere but for this piece, we don't intend to cover those fires reported to the NYFD or LAFD.  We're more concerned with the 'burning fires' in conflicts between us humans, either in our homes, in our workplaces, in our local communities.  within countries or even between two or more countries.  Why can't those 'fires' just dissipate in thin air after awhile ?  Instead, why is it so much of these 'fires' actually worsen over time ?

How often have we seen conflicts a.k.a. 'fires' are pre-empted prematurely even before it gets aflame?  Very rare in fact and in truth.  Instead, when there is an initiator or instigator of a conflict, the other protagonist will immediately pick up that challenge by taking things head-on in a brazen and daring stance at that.  As the old cliche goes, 'IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO'.  And indeed, the truth can't be farther when it comes to conflicts.  All it takes is for someone to ignite a friction and voila, that sparks off the conflct that very likely blows up to untold proportions until it becomes unmanageable.

Instead, we see taunting all over the place.  Everyone is more than eager to pick up a fight.  A stark reality anywhere in the world are those scenarios when the 'mob takes over'.  That 'HERD MENTALITY' just shows its ugly head when groups are about to collide head-on.  When the irrational ones take over, it becomes a 'mob rule' wherein the rule of the mob prevails.  And this is when the military organizations of some countries are dragged into wars that drag on.

Question is, why are the Buddhist monks so revered ?  It's because they 'walk the talk'.  When anger creeps in a conflict, they DON'T BITE THE BAIT.  They DON'T fight fire with fire.  Instead, what characterizes their handling of conflicts is founded by a cool and tempered approach.  And throughout the duration of a conflict, prayers and self-reflection eat up much of their time till the conflict gets resolved.

What then are the culprits of unresolved conflicts ?  Not too many though.  Firstly, it is NOT recognizing the existence of a conflict.  Many of us tend to ignore even that conflict that has blown up right in our face.  Where both protagonists do agree that a conflict exists, instead of mediation and reconciliation, aggression, sheer ego and wanton pride tend to prevail until the conflict drags and worsens.  What's our fix ?  THERE'S NO PLACE FOR YOUR EGO and PRIDE.❗❗❗

When the Mask Falls Off

 When the Mask Falls Off

We all got it wrong when we all thought that MASKS were introduced into our lives only during this year-long pandemic !  Would you agree that MASKS are as old as our oldest generations of ancestors ?  MASKS were wrongly thought that these were introduced into our lives only when we got this pandemic outbreak.  No sirs, let me tell you why.

In life, we do all have our 'TRUE COLORS' but the reality is that we don't tend to show our 'TRUE COLORS'.  Instead, for multifarious reasons triggered by our self-serving agenda in life, we tend to cloak it, shield it, cover it, mask it so that what comes out is what we want the people to see [regardless if that is NOT your REAL YOU].

And this valid problem tends to be a concern for us all because this shoots down the cliche 'WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET'.  In the end, that cliche becomes a figment of our imagination because what we see may not be the true picture of things.  And this is self-defeating whether at your home or at your workplace.  Not being your 'TRUE YOU', this is a manifestation of being deceiving and deceptive all rolled into one.

Oh i like this poster because I very much aligned to this page.  When you hit 'rock bottom', when you are in tatters, when you are at your worst, look around you and see for yourself who's still there to support you at your lowest point ? DON'T get me wrong though.  We're NOT implying that the people closest to you will turn their backs on you at that point in time but there is a high probability that some of the people whom you thought to be 'close enough' to you will, in the end, compromise their true colors to show how genuine are they there for you.

Thing is, enough of this charade.  Be genuine.  Be true, whether it's to yourself to everyone else around you. Be genuine.  Be transparent.  Be true.  Be what you are.  If there's someone whom you're not keen to support right from Day-1, DON'T DOUBLESPEAK.  DON'T offer one cheek and then turn the other cheek when you opt to swing your swivel chair.  That will get you no farther than where you stand now.  And if you got a phalanx of masks in your life, dump it all because all those masks will wear you down till your guilt, if this still exists, will stop you from putting on any of those masks [AGAIN].  Just stop the charade.