Idealism is DEAD

Idealism is DEAD

Not long ago, if you were an IDEALIST, you deserved a homecoming parade when you go back to your place.  You will be the TOAST of the TOWN where politicians and kibitzers will be hobnobbing with you, eager to prey on the next photo ops.  But that was long ago before the pundits relentlessly pounded on the hollowed and misguided trajectory of the idealists.  These days, try it and you will become 'toast'.

For those idealists whose respective journey became ill-fated ones, they were very much aligned and 'in sync' except that they opted out of the WHAT IFs in our life.  They left no quarters open to entertain those WHAT IFs.  Nothing wrong with their optimism but more often, such optimism goes overboard, way and beyond.  Nothing wrong with ignoring pessimism but totally shunning it off will be a stretch.

If there's one thing we should not replicate in our lives, it's the horse's blinders.  But remember, those galloping horses were fitted with blinders not to blind them but instead, to keep their focus straight across their path as they are vulnerable to disruptions and distractions.  Sounds familiar to us humans ?  Those vulnerability to disruptions and distractions ?

A decade ago, I was working on a daily basis with the CIO of HSBC India as we were sharing the same office for a year and when we were in the midst of planning for capex proposals, he was quite vociferous in standing his ground that  we can paint what we want, all the ideal technology infrastructures that offers us the best of both worlds but the question that always stomped us was this:  Are we willing to wait for 3-5 yrs to achieve all the ideal plans when we can push for a realistic rollout in 2-3 yrs?

That American dream, who doesn't cherish those dreams ?  As the cliche goes, America is the land of milk and honey, literally and figuratively speaking.  And would you believe, I have first-hand knowledge of quite a number of people whose lives have been in a standstill [after several decades] simply because they are so glued at that ideal dream, that dream of becoming an American immigrant one day.  But is that acceptable ?  Our lives will be in 'suspended' mode as we wait for our ideal dream to shape up ?  What does all these tell us ?  That being idealist is laudable to hear BUT having an "ALL or NOTHING"  mindset will be self-defeating because it can cause you a setback where any hopes for you to rebound from that FREE FALL can happen.  In fact, once you get into that FREE FALL, we can agree that IDEALISM is DEAD. ❗❗❗

Is Your Life a 'CLINT EASTWOOD' Movie ?

 Is Your Life a 'CLINT EASTWOOD' Movie ?

If you're either a Millennial or Gen Z, I swear if you heard anything about Clint Eastwood, you'll retort WHO WHAT WTF.  Can't blame them because Clint Eastwood's western movies got exposed more to Gen X and the boomers.  Nevertheless, lessons can be picked here.

Most, if not all, Clint Eastwood movies were those western stuff where he's the Sheriff who ALWAYS [as in ALWAYS] ends up as the HERO [or even Super HERO].  And that was good entertainment until it lasted not until that 'Super Hero' stereotype has worn out and over-stretched itself across the welcome mat.  Back into our lives, we hope your life till now is not akin to a 'Clint Eastwood' movie because if it is, I would strongly encourage to push yourself to what is real and genuinely real till both your feet do touch the ground.  Otherwise, it won't be fair for you to seemingly enjoy the best of worlds, the reel world versus the real world because that reel world will remain as such.

It could be a ceramic platter and that's fine because that's an authentic artifact.  In our life, truism should be at our very core, our very mantra.  We could be as tough as a nail or as soft as marshmallows and that's fine as long as that is you.  What is detestable is for you to lead and live a farcical facade that is as hollowed as it can be. 

Fake Life ?  No one wants to lead a life that is either a bogus, a phony, a sham and spurious at that because that kind of does not lead one forward but instead to regression.  Moreover, there is no exit routine in fake lives because you end up at the far end of the tunnel with no escape route for you to take.  In life, if you led and lived a fake life, be it across years or decades, that despicable life will haunt you as you hit the homestretch of your life.  If it's all fun and fun galore, things are good while it lasts but trust me, that 'PARTY WILL BE OVER SOON'.

BUT life is NOT a lost cause if you get to be honest with your second wind, second chances, second life.  We all deserve second chances but you gotta stand for what justifies a second life. Recoup your missed opportunities, recover from your missteps but you gotta do this pronto, soonest asap.  Your life needs to get back to shape, dude.📌📌📌

Nail It Home !

Nail It Home !

Remember the first day of classes in school, you were so excited days before Day-1 ?  Remember your Day-1 at your new job where you were oozing with energy ?  Remember when you tied the knot, you were 'heels over head' to your partner ?  Remember when you finally had your first-owned business, you were on your feet almost round-the-clock ?  Remember when your life was at its lowest point, you were praying to all the Gods and saints [DON'T get wrong, nothin' wrong with that] ?  Remember when you saw your first-born child, your emotions were relentlessly overflowing ?

My, how time flies, really !  In a snap, that excitement has dissipated in thin air.  In a wink, the energy is all but spent.  In a snap, the overflowing emotions have simmered down.  In a moment, that fervor is gone, literally.  In a moment, the telco's network cell site has gone from full-bar to 1-bar.  In another time, the battery has gone from full strength to low-batt to a drained battery.  What the hell happened in that span of time ?

Such is life, very much akin to a lithium battery.  Regardless of it's full-strength straight from the factory floor, it will cycle down and needs to be recycled up via that recharging process.  That truism can't be farther in real life.   Nothing can be static.  Nothing is imprinted for life.  The steadfastness of our efforts is needed at the very least for us to survive this vicious cycle.

What's the antidote for all these ? You gotta swing for the fences, boy.  You gotta give it all, like it's your last trip to the baseball diamond.  DON'T assume that you'll have second chances.  DON'T assume that you'll catch a second wind. DON'T assume for a china man's chance again. DON'T assume that lady luck is always with you. DON'T assume that the sun will shine next day.  DON'T assume that you'll not run out of luck.

Thing is, ideally, values and habit formation start from our early childhood days but if that didn't happen [for whatever circumstances], it's NOT a show-stopper for you to declare that you won't NAIL IT HOME and HIT FOR A HOMERUN because it's too late in life.  That's a baloney to say the least.  Again, it's your mind playing tricks with you !

More often, in our failings, it's not because we didn't aim for what we need to achieve.  To be fair, most of us knew the goal[s] to achieve BUT there is a big BUT.  Along the way, there are disruptions and distractions BUT c'mon, those are the harsh realities in life.  We didn't expect to live the life of a monk up there in the monasteries in Nepal and the Himalayas where there is ZERO-disruptions and ZERO-distractions.  C'mon guys, let's NAIL IT HOME, let's HIT FOR A HOMERUN ❗❗❗

Are You in a Carousel Ride ?

Are You in a Carousel Ride ?

Are you in a carousel ride ?  Yes we do, yes we are all in that carousel ride, and that will last our lifetime, like it or not.  No one ever falsely raised our expectations that we'll be onboard Elon Musk's SpaceX journeys.  Ours is a carousel ride, with lots of UPs but with more DOWNs where we get hit via those deep deep plunges into deep south.

Frankly, our life is our responsibility.  The LAND of the BRAVE and the HOME of the FREE is not even close to the truth [because people are grinding, struggling].  Complaining has no value.  If you complain not having enough money, let's work more, work harder.  Of course, we got hit with the pandemic but this is not the end of the world.  We have seen former pilots doing a career shift, flight attendants now cooking and selling food in front their homes [they don't need to rent a business space].

In memory of Alex Schachter, a teenage student who was killed in that shooting rampage in Parkland Florida last 2018 wrote this poem just before he got killed:  "LIFE IS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER.  IT HAS SOME UPS AND DOWNS.  SOMETIMES YOU CAN TAKE IT SLOW OR VERY FAST.  IT MAY BE HARD TO BREATHE AT TIMES BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO PUSH YOURSELF AND KEEP GOING".

In a nutshell, challenges are part and parcel of life.  It's unthinkable for one to be surprised facing challenges.  Instead, you should take on such challenges head-on till you run over them. Dan Pena, the $50 Billion Man said:  "YOU MUST BE ACCOUNTABLE TO YOURSELF.  IF YOU DON'T HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE ENOUGH, YOU WILL COME UP WITH ALL THE REASONS WHY YOU CAN'T DO THIS OR THAT."

This poster captures it all.  In brief, have a purposeful life.  Find a purpose. if you have a purpose-driven life, it adds to your years.  if you are not akin to that 'KID EVERY DOOR', develop yourself to be that 'KID EVERY DOOR'.  This is an example of transformative learning when you find purpose and meaning in what you're doing.  With your passions in life, DON'T follow your passions.  Invest in your passions instead and be the best at it.  If you have to lose, rise up and never give up.  And if you do win, win even if its uglier in the mud.  YOU MADE IT THEN, dude.✅✅✅

Hold Your Horses !

Hold Your Horses !

This is no double-speak even as for the longest time, we have been preaching that we are in a maddening 'rat race', that we are more often running in full throttle with only the pit stops as our respites.  But c'mon, let's bring our feet back to the ground and understand what really is going on.  Please don't look at things in a convoluted way even as complex real-life scenarios lead us towards narratives that encompass all manners of digressions.

If engines and machines need a downtime to cool off, it's non-debatable that humans would need much more downtime than engines and machines.  And while we kept harping that we need to give it all till we empty our tank, we just cannot over-stretch ourselves and literally and get emptied with fuel because our engine will suffer a 'knock' if indeed the fuel line dries up.  BTW, in the midst of the rat race, we owe it to ourselves to even grab a cup of brewed coffee.

How powerful PAUSE is ?  It is so damn powerful that will cost you nada, nothing.  In the midst of the daily stress and pressures in our daily lives, do take a respite to notice your breath.  Nothing to change.  Nothing to control.  Just observe the cool air coming in through your nose.  Note that feeling of energy flowing into your body and notice how your body relaxes when you breath out.  Close your eyes.  Let this become one of your 'dailies' as this exercise.

The bigger question probably bothering you is to know WHEN TO PRESS PAUSE?  Valid question indeed.  Basic ground rules:

DON'T PAUSE only when you're down.  DON'T PAUSE only when you're drained.  DON'T PAUSE only when you're burdened. DON'T PAUSE only when you're giving up! 

In real terms, we need to hold our horses if we need to deep-dive into a problem, dissect a troubling issues, figure out the difficulties we're facing, reassess things because we're getting nowhere, relook at our approach because we don't seem to progress yet.  In life, holding your horses will buy you time, literally and figuratively speaking.❗❗❗

Sweeping It Under the Rug, Really ?

 Sweeping It Under the Rug, Really ?

Are problems damn stubborn ?  Not really.  It's we/us who are that stubborn.  When problems pop-up, we gotta solve it, right ?  Else, it won't die a natural death.  
You might challenge me with this:  For what use are the rugs and carpets ?  Oh oh, that's 'one kind of a question' indeed.  BTW, rugs and carpets are part of internal home accessories.  And it serves a purpose, e.g. it makes an area more comfy but problems should NOT be swept under the rugs and carpets, NOT AT ALL.

Wonder why it won't work that way ?  Simply put, the rug and carpet is a dead-end thing.  It's not even comparable to a sewerage where waste can flow through till it flows out.  Problems need to be dealt with.  Else, in due time it can become a monster of a problem.  Imagine if years back, you received a notification from IRS [in the US] or CRA [in Canada] or IRAS [in Singapore] for a tax payable of $300.  Ignore it, fine but years later, that could balloon to several thousands.  

Health problems are potential 'red flags' too.  DONT and DON'T wait for a recurring cough to go from bad to worse to worst.  Sweeping that minor-minor cough under the rug will not help.  Disputes.  Whether it be marital/conjugal disputes or commercial disputes, it's gotta be fixed at all costs.  Revisit that dispute decades later, I'll guarantee you it has become a monster of a problem not because it was a 'monster problem right at DAY-1'.

Way before this pandemic struck us all, we were all suffering from another epidemic tagged as PROCRASTINATION EPIDEMIC.  And even as we speak now, it's almost strangling our neck and when do we move our ass ?  Only when we're grasping for air to breath because we're more than just getting choked.  You could be 'NOT PANICKY' and so damn cool but that's only the periphery of things because deep inside your dark dungeon, a fire is now ablaze and before you know it, that fire will spread fast and quick like those bushfires in the wilderness of the Australian continent.

Lucky for us when a problem gives a die-die deadline.  Unfortunately, most problems DON'T publish or announce a deadline at all.  Here's how to deal with those 'no deadline' problems:

ACT to recognize that the problem does exist.

ACT to identify the problem's impact to you.

ACT to mitigate or contain the problem's impact.

ACT to come up with a concrete timeline.

ACT to follow the concrete timeline you laid out

ACT before your problem becomes a MONSTER.

Are You Out of the Woods Yet ?

Are You Out of the Woods Yet ?

I remember the poem by Robert Frost which goes this way: 'WHOSE WOODS THESE ARE I THINK I KNOW. TO WATCH HIS WOODS FILL UP WITH SNOW'. What a nostalgic and poignant realization of my Literature Class in school long time ago.  Which brings me to this next point.  When we do hit a problem, we're just so damn focus to find the right fix and apply it as quickly as possible.  But I have heard several 'horror' stories wherein the same problem comes back and haunts us even before the dust has settled down.

Supposedly, the dust is our very bellwether.  It should give us the cue, in fact, when our problem has been fixed.  But in this topsy-turvy world, be forewarned that even the dust can give us the mixed signals, indicating that a snafu has been fixed whereas the very problem is still lingering not within the surface but beneath the periphery.  So the question is, how can you be assured that when the dust settles, your problem has indeed been fixed ?  Simple folks.  Replicate it, simulate it, get into role plays.  If it's a scenario too complex to be simulated, pull yourself in one corner and play a devil's advocate by challenging the fixes you applied.  Run a 'STRESS TEST' with lots of 'WHAT IF' scenarios, and those 'WHAT IFs' should not be just be lip service but instead pushing out the best from you.

What happens when you realized that you're NOT 'OUT OF THE WOODS' yet ? When the same problem seems to be hanging over you like the Sword of Damocles ?  Sure-fire tell tale signs that you're still stuck with the same dilemma:  interactions remain uneasy, moves are still calculated, intentions are premeditated.  The long and short of it, you remain uneasy.

So why do problems keep repeating itself when, all along, we thought we have fixed things ?  MAYBE you DON'T see what you should see ?  MAYBE you only believe in what you're doing ?

MAYBE your communications really sucks ?  Or MAYBE you're risk-hesitant ?  Or you're off-track? Either way, you gotta right your wrong and compounding a wronged thing with another miscue will just further push you in deep morass.

Key here is that you gotta have the KEY to UNLOCK the problem.  Getting hold of that KEY is the KEY and more often, that is so damn elusive because many times, problems do not present as problems.  They will look like a wolf in sheep's clothing.  Or a Guardian Angel-like whisper which turns out evil.  So for COMPLEX problems, 'drill and dice' them.  For RECURRING problems, deep-dive into the ROOT CAUSE.  

For perennial problems pestering you over and over again, run through the problem and dissect it to fractions, to pieces.  All it takes is PATIENCE + PERSISTENCE + PERSEVERANCE.  These are the 3 P's that need your buy-in. All these go hand in hand with thinking out of the box.  If you seem to be in a cycle, break that cycle.  If you need to change your mind, that changes your life.  If nothing changes around you, change the things around you.  You need to break through.  You need to wake up from your conundrum. Redeem the points today for yesterday's gains.  Now you're back on track ✅✅✅

Are You a One-trick Pony ?

Are You a One-trick Pony ?

Are You a One-trick Pony ?  If ever you are, we need you to keep that solitary ace up in your sleeves and start working for your next trick, next next trick and so on.  This is a sage advice that has reached us from all the previous generations.  Being a one-trick pony isn't bad.  In fact, that's a very auspicious start as it augurs well that you are on the right track.  But here's the pit you might fall through.  If you rest on that solitary ace, you are doomed to fail as early as that point when you got one trick.

You may challenge me:  WHY SHOULD WE LEARN ANOTHER TRICK WHEN WE GOT ONE ALREADY ?  Hmmmp, the short and sharp retort to that interrogative statement is this:  YOUR TRICK IS ONLY AS GOOD AS IT LASTS.   And if you tell me you take that you're willing to take that risk with just one trick, that's quite pitiful.

If you want want to have one of the best lives ever (which is to live on your own terms], then you need to PAY YOUR DUES for you to get there.  DON'T allow circumstances to define you.  If you want more freedom in your life, you got to have more discipline.  Basic DON'Ts:  DON'T be a whiner.  DON'T be a complainer.  And what envelopes all these is our discipline which is something we were not born with.  But instead, it is akin to a muscle that needs to be trained.

If and when you may seem lost because all along, your solitary skills is enough to bring you forward, you may seem lost because you're lost with the stress and inside you.  How do you manage things? Start each day fresh like a fresh canvass where you can paint what you want.  And never feel secured with that one or two skills is all it takes for you to reach your destination.    

How do you expand your skills ?  That question goes back to you because that hinges on your directions in life.  And your directions has to be concrete enough.  You just can't declare you want to be a Seaman.  You need to ask yourself what are the responsibilities you will own up as a Seaman because that will dictate upon you the skills you need to develop towards that path.  

And if you are less motivated, a real man is one , when no one is watching, he puts in work.  These are the hallmarks of successful athletes.  They invest years and years honing their skills, be it at the basketball gym or in a boxing gym.

Let's not be a one-trick pony, dude. ❗❗❗

Of Mirage Mirrors versus Smoke and Mirrors

Of Mirage Mirrors versus Smoke and Mirrors

 

Mirage Mirrors are really two parabolic mirrors with identical shapes leading us to see two types of images namely real and virtual.  How this got to do with our lives ?  We badly need mirage mirrors so that what you're seeing is really the real virtual reading of a situation.  Else, you what you'll see will be smokes, those vague imageries which will depict a picture that's different from the truth.

Whereas, don't get mixed up with 'smoke and mirrors' these are realities in life which when we examine close enough, it will shape up as more of an illusion more than anything else. More often, this is something intended to disguise or draw attention away from something either deceptive, fraudulent or sinister.  

Think of your workplace that there's someone disliked but probably not despised.  Basic DONT's.  DON'T talk about that person behind that person's back.  And DON'T impulsively run to another job.  Things DON'T get fixed that way.  Instead, take control of your role at work.  We DON'T have to like everyone and they DON'T have to like us.  But, here's the catch though.  Being disliked and enduring disrespect are two different things.  If it's simply disliking someone, most likely you need to 'grow and live with it'.  And how you handle things could either be a hit or miss because it's one for you to become the 'aggressor' or end up as the 'villain'.  Probably by saying 'you hurt my feelings', you could end up as the damsel in distress.  And while we DON'T like to think of ourselves as victims [as in the case of the 'master manipulator'], we just 'NEED TO BEAT THEM AT THEIR OWN GAME'.

We all should be on the same page that what's keeping us all busy everyday is because we that destination called 'happiness'.  It doesn't take a scientist to figure out that none of us are chasing misery.  But here's the catch.  What if you end up with too many options and you end up choosing those options that eventually throw you off the course ?  Unfortunately, here's the reality in life.  If you live a growth-oriented life, you will likely encounter distractions and many of them 'planted' in front of you by well-meaning people.  And they look like opportunities but take a real close look, they are obstacles that will cause you to veer off course.  

You take a job more for $$$ more than anything else, you'll get OFF-TRACKED.  If you get into a home loan only to end up underwater, you know you're OFF-TRACKED.  So, setting well-defined goals is the first step in knowing the difference between opportunities and obstacles.  We all agree that everybody heads down the wrong path from time to time.  And it will take you time to recover.  The fewer times you do that, then the faster you'll reach your goals.  Pronto amigo.❗❗❗

Those 'PUSH BUTTON' Decisions in Life

Those 'PUSH BUTTON' Decisions in Life

In our lives, how many times we reached a decision point where you have to make up your mind ?  Likely thousands of times, right ?  Could be as petty as to whether you'll buy popcorns or could be as serious as decisions that will impact milestones in life, be it a decision to accept a job offer, to resign from your current work or even life-changing decisions that relate to settling down in life, getting married, among others.  Those are 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions.

And most impactful decision points you need to make carry with it that impact to financials.  So, which means, any off-track decision with dire financial consequences may just drive things down down south.  And when $$$$ does matter, there's just very little room for error.  Else, there's just no UNDO for any misstep you might take.  What explains why there is hardly an UNDO for judgment calls that end up south-bound ?  It's because the ramifications led to tipped dominoes.  Those are 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions.

What then justifies the urgency for aThose are 'PUSH BUTTON' decision [in life] ?  It's the element of time, that's the long and short of it.  You can reach the right decisions but if it gets done at the wrong time, that right decision gets wronged !  Whereas, you could be toying with a decision that may not seem to be the best option but if you crack the whip at the best timing, risks can be mitigated and at best, a murky situation gets cleared up, enough for you to move up.

I can't agree less with this poster, i.e. that TIMING IS EVERYTHING.  The breadth and depth of a decision primarily hinges on TIMING.  And that TIMING will require a hell lot of gumption to press the button and pill away.  You could be a coach in a hoops game and as your team is catching up and rallying, that 'PUSH BUTTON' situation will definitely pop-up.  In school, your performance in one subject is precariously tilting, so it's likely you'll have a 'PUSH BUTTON' situation whether you should drop that subject or continue.  At work you could be facing serious challenges with tremendous pressure coming from all quarters.  You could have a 'PUSH BUTTON' whether you'll quite or not.

Good questions.  Why is it so hard to make decisions ?  Simple hijo.  Our minds are playing tricks with us.  We see it as difficult.  Promise it will be damn difficult.  We see it as a simple decision.  It will be that simple.  To go back to Elon Musk, the world's #1 billionaire, 'FAILURE IS AN OPTION.  IF THINGS ARE NOT FAILING, YOU ARE NOT INNOVATING ENOUGH'.  Why ?  Because you're in the comfy zone!

Choices ?  What has choices got to do with 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions you're grappling now?  More often, the choices we pick up along the way eventually pave the very path that leads us to 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions.  Some 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions could have been averted where it not for the previous choices you made.  But where a 'PUSH BUTTON' has got nothing to do with choices, that's deja vu, you're back in that cycle of making that 'PUSH BUTTON' decision.  So, let's sharpen our skills so that we'll have that gumption a.k.a. balls when a 'PUSH BUTTON' decision pops up.✅✅✅