Do You Have The Chops For The RAT RACE?

 

DO YOU HAVE THE CHOPS FOR THE RAT RACE? As most of our battles in life takes place on those battlefields within our minds, our life has become akin to schools and universities, a life filled with many countless and endless lessons to be learned at every stage and phase of our journey.  And those of us that learn lessons should be fortunate enough to move onto the next stage WHILE others ar left to repeat that same class in school, whew📗📙📘

Question is, can we withstand that rigorous curriculum of life WHILE striving towards your goals?  YES IF YOU HAVE THE CHOPS FOR THE RAT RACE!  As they say, true champions stare adversity in the face and rise above their circumstances.  So, is it difficult?  YES BUT we need to understand all challenges are character-building moments that increase our mental endurance and prepare us for life's next lesson.  If ever you do have the CHOPS, be relentless💚💛💜

IF we look around the most common success stories, nothing jumps out of the window in terms of magnitude BUT one commonality they all share, they relentlessly keep on hurdling all the roadblocks along their path.  YES, successful people refuse to quit because life dealt them a few lemons.  YES, they do take those lemons, squeeze them into a glass of water, add sugar and drink up.  YES, you just CAN'T quit because life gets too difficult.  YES, life gets hard and harder for everyone at some point and that cycle keeps going📌📌📌

Question:  Can we escape from the vicious cycles of that RAT RACE?  Unfortunately you and me CAN'T escape from it.  So HOW's the cycle like?  LIVE.  MAKE MISTAKES.  LEARN.  GROW.  I'm sure you and me and everyone else have probably [and very likely in fact] made quite a number of mistakes in our lifetime.  Admittedly, my share of imperfections and mistakes is quite a list, ouch BUT I take solace from the universal truth that many people WHO are deemed as successful , failed multiple times before they became a success story in their own right.  BUT the sad part is that there is a plurality of us WHO are only witnesses to the glory without knowing the extent of every failure a person has gone through in his life journey😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  Successful people know pretty well that there is NO embarassment in failures at all.  If we live long enough, you'll make a mistake [OR maybe a string of mistakes] that may lead to a temporary debacle.  SO HOW?  let us leverage on those temporary debacles as an opportunity to learn and begin again.  WHAT should be our mindset?  Let us work like we're second best so that as we climb the steep slopes of the mountains, our heels will be itching to keep moving.  So, DO YOU HAVE THE CHOPS FOR THE RAT RACE, dude???

That TESTAMENTARY INTENT In Gift-giving

 

YES YES YES yow, it's Christmas Season, the season of gift-giving.  True, this annual holiday shopping scramble hits us all in various ways, forms and shapes.  And WHAT happens next?  Some of us dread shopping for large families WHILE some are looking for honest reviews before swooping for gifts WHILE a small plurality may want to skip conventional consumerism entirely.  And between you and me, WHETHER you are overwhelmed OR excited to start, can we pause and ponder to harp on one thing.  And NOT to be a meddler dousing cold water this Christmas Season, a small-small reminder to us all.  We all have the freedom to choose the gifts we want to give and regardless its worth and value, we are gently reminded that it's the TESTAMENTARY INTENT that matters most, that genuine intent from within💚💛💜

Others call it habit OR simply out of character BUT the fact is, gift-giving can be an art, that art of thoughtful gifting.  And this boils down to the fact that, after all is said, done and given, INTENT MATTERS.  Ironically, these days WHERE convenience often trumps consideration, the very essence of GIFTING has gradually become 'transactional'.  Frankly, gift-giving is NOT even about the opulence OR extravagance of a gift, definitely those price tags should NOT be a factor at all.  Instead, it is that act of giving something with deep consideration for the recipient's feelings💦💦💦

Someone may play devil's advocate and blurt out:  WHY DOES INTENT MATTER in gifting?  Much as some of us may NOT be consciously aware of, WHEN we inject our thoughts in gift-giving, we are unconsciously building OR even strengthening connections with our gift recipient.  WHETHER it's our parent, spouse/partner, friend OR a colleague, intentional gifting creates that emotional resonance and shows that we truly value that person.  And that is WHERE the TESTAMENTARY INTENT comes into play, into the equation.  True, a well-chosen gift speaks volumes as it can convey love, gratitude, encouragement, celebration, comfort OR a combination of any of these💥💥💥

In today's world we live in WHERE the frenetic pace never seems to slacken off, that simple effort of gift-giving will be rare and precious enough.  That effort exerted to take time to think, select and even personalize a gift will obviously demonstrate our presence and involvement and even in the most subtle way, it can send across the message to the gift recipient that they are worth your time and energy.  BTW, experts advise that to practice that art of gift-giving will need us to understand the occasion and emotion.  As every occasion carries a unique emotional weight, taking pains to understand the sentiment allows us to align our gift with the recipient's emotional needs [OR at least the emotional state]😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  BEFORE we get overwhelmed with all the festiveness of this Christmas Season, consider pulling the brakes and take stock of things and even with our TESTAMENTARY INTENT in gift-giving, let us NOT miss out to align our gift-giving to the recipient's current state because like it OR not, even gift-giving permeates our human emotions.  At the end of the day, we want your gift-giving to be your TESTAMENTARY INTENT😀😀😀

Banners Hang Forever!

 

YES YES yowwww, BANNERS HANG FOREVER!  In the simplest words, NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE SUCCESS.  We must note, however, that we are often times blinded by our own egos from seeing the full possibilities of life.  And WHEN we discipline ourselves to adopt periodically, we can perceptively drink in the full meaning of a situation without imposing ourselves upon it.  Developing the ability to compete is one of the tenets towards the SUCCESS whose definition we all agree on.  This rests on our ability to organize ourselves in such a way as to generate opportunity and results, rather than those impasses, stagnations and unproductive arguments and, frankly, those wasteful frictions.  In the simplest words, we must know HOW to tap and leverage on our energies📘📙📗

To quote this hard-hitting philosophical statement, MAN IS LIMITED NOT SO MUCH BY HIS TOOLS AS BY HIS VISION.  And I CAN'T agree less with this because to be a visionary, all that someone has to do is BUT open our own eyes.  WHERE there is a lack of vision, anytime we can go off-track.  In that SEVEN HABITS training hosted by Stephen Covey, his messaging was curt and sharp, that is, NO ONE CAN PERSUADE ANYONE TO CHANGE [as each of us does guard that 'gate of change'  and that can only be opened right from the INSIDE no less❗❗❗

One realization I have had the past years is that NO WAY can we open the gates of another person.  I did witness a very driven parent motivating his child to aim for this OR that.  I did see bosses motivating their team members no end.  Watching NBA games, I did see how coaches really push their players to the limits NOT just during those competitive games BUT even in those drills and training they go through way beyond the lens of the pyring media.  All approaches to appeal and motivate for CHANGE can only go so far💥💥💥

Let's accept this.  Some of us do resist CHANGE [even if that means that that CHANGE can pave the road towards one's SUCCESS].  I remember this old Arabian proverb:  THE CARAVAN IS MOVING AND THE DOG IS STILL BARKING.  In the layman's words [and from the ordeals I went through], nobody and nobody likes to be told that they must CHANGE.  NOT even the favorite son of doting parents.  NOT even the loyal mentee of a persevering mentor💜💛💚

Our takeaway:  I can attest that a positive CHANGE yields substantial dividends, one of WHICH is SUCCESS and without any doubt, NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE SUCCESS.  And failure is NOT even an option.  I remember that Star Wars movie where Yoda said:  DO OR DO NOT.  THERE IS NO TRY.  In my own terms to myself, BANNERS HANG FOREVER and nothing can be better than that😁😁😁

When You're Stuck Between A Rock & A Hard Place

 

A lot of WHAT IFs in life BUT how about this.  WHAT IF we crash-landed between a huge rock and a hard place.  Sounds like an Armaggedon scenario BUT no sirrrrrs, many of us would, at some points in our life, would have reached the Rubicon and the question you asked yourself was HOW to cross the Rubicon if you were CAUGHT BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE📘📙📗

In life, WHEN we're at a point WHEREIN we look at our situation and see a huge mess, it's best to distance yourself from it and instead, rework things, restart OR even reboot if need be.  WHY will rebooting OR resetting be helpful?  In the NBA, WHEN a ballclub is hugging the cellar, it looks way ahead by anticipating the next year's DRAFT season WHERE they'll look for rough gems💙💛💚

In short, at that point, those desperate NBA ballclubs will start 'tanking' so that they will end up up higher in the totem pole, so that their next DRAFT PICKS will be as higher ranked as possible.  So, WHEN they decide on 'tanking', that ballclub is focused on no less than a REBUILD, a REVAMP, a top-to-bottom overhaul of the team roster💥💥💥

Oh oh YESSSSS, if things are in a total mess, that total cost of REBUILD will be enormous BUT in life, that's the mindset for a ONE TIME-BIG TIME thing WHERE you brace yourself to be absorbing 'sunk costs' that could probably include all your investments in TIME, $$$$$ & especially efforts.  True, it's a heavy headache you've got to endure wading through that situation WHERE you crash-landed between that ROCK and a HARD PLACE❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  Word of caution.  Crash-landing between a ROCK and a HARD PLACE does NOT happen OFTEN.  If at all, it may hit you once OR twice in life [unless you're living a roller-coaster kind of life?].  BTW, it's NEVER fun being in that dilemma but the best mindset is to dictate upon us THAT there is a tomorrow, THAT there will be streaks of sunshine soon [if NOT tomorrow] and THAT you are in a situation WHERE you're down to playing your remaining marbles because there's really NOTHING TO LOSE unless you opt for that self-defeating stance of giving up and raising the white flag, then you LOSE BY DEFAULT, the worst way to lose your fight dude😃😃😃

Need To Take Your Life Back?

 

In the midst of our frenetic pace in life, it's NOT surprising if sometimes we'll hear someone fantasizing about literally deleting his calendar [because it NEVER runs out of endless pencil-bookings] OR worst, one WHO's contemplating to quit his job OR to escape from his day-to-day realities, one wants to book a one-way flight [to nowhere, ouch] and starting afresh somewhere like a retirement life option in Bali OR in Thailand.  YES, if we heard those folks, they're NOT alone because many more are contemplating📗📙📘

BUT here's the thing.  Studies show that even the most 'high-functioning' and thoughtful people could hit the wall one day.  BUT NOT because they are lazy, dramatic OR lost BUT because they have outgrown a version of their life, and DON'T kno WHAT to do next.  YES, that sounds like burnout and it feels like restlessness, somewhat like wanting to be anywhere BUT here's the thing.  Most of the time, we DON'T need to start all over again BUT simply find a way forward💚💛💜

BUT let's hear it from the experts.  Contrary to the notion that we should be focused for us to TAKE OUR LIFE BACK, they say that in 99% of cases, the real issue ISN'T life itself BUT instead it is our strategy for navigating it.  The old school teaches us to push harder, do more and just shrug off that feeling of getting caught up.  Our mentors in the past would tell us to solve problems via that productivity platform and WHEN something does NOT feel right, we thought we just need to work harder, wake up earlier, and keep powering on till it clicks😌😌😌

NOW, let's here the experts whack us off.  They claim that if the real problem is misalignment [and NOT laziness OR poor discipline], exerting more effort just WON'T fix it.  Instead, it just hides it for a little longer.  Oh Oh, that feeling you're trying to push through?  They say that's NOT a bug but instead, those are tell-tale signs.  NOW the confusion turns from bad to worse when we get mixed signals like:

• You're successful BUT you DON'T feel it
• Yo're doing right things but you feel unfulfilled
• You're unsure if you're navigating the wrong way

Our takeaway:  The past years, WHEN we hear 'RESTRATEGIZE' , threats of a revamp OR a major reorganization pops up BUT experts caution us that it's NOT about throwing everything out BUT instead, it's about pausing and asking ourselves a tough cookie question:  WHAT IF THE LIFE I'VE BUILT ISN'T WRONG BUT THE WAY I LIVE THAT DOESN'T WORK?  In that case, STRATEGIZE dude!!!

A Little Bit Of Planning [Goes A Long Way]!

 

We'll all agree that in life, NOT EVERYTHING GOES AS PER PLAN.  So, here's a devil's advocate question:  WHY PLAN IF NOT EVERYTHING GOES AS PER PLAN anyways?  IF you close your eyes now and look back, did you see yourself here?  Did you imagine you'd have that job OR those friends OR that nice condo OR that relationship you are in now?  Did you picture yourself in that relationship as absolutely perfect and secure only to turn out as messy [OR otherwise]?  Chances are, you saw your life in a certain way.  Maybe your dream was to have a family, to find that special person and settle down.  Maybe your dream was somewhere in the mix of that, possibly in both a relationship and beginning a strong start of your career.  Maybe your dream was NOT about work OR relationships at all but finally coming to terms with the person you are now.  BTW, a LITTLE BIT OF PLANNING GOES A LONG WAY📗📙📘

Admittedly, all my life, I've always loved order, preparation, making sense of the world around me.  And having a PLAN was the best way for me to look forward.  WHEN I knew WHAT I wanted, HOW to get it, and WHERE to go, I could step forward with confidence, with NOT even the slightest tinge of fear OR skepticism if NOT doubts.  BUT if I learned a hard lesson over and over again, it's that the eventual result will NOT always align with my PLAN, even the best laid PLANS can fall short💧💧💧

OH yes, I wanna share this self-discipline I seemed to have embedded within me.  Typically, I would have craft a Plan A, Plan B and Plan C.  There were exceptions WHERE only had 2 PLAN options.  And it was an outlier for me to just a single PLAN with NO other option.  WHAT pushed me to have those options?  It's all those 'WHAT IFs'💥💥💥

WHY do we need those 'WHAT IF' scenarios?  It's the very catalyst that will push us to craft a Plan B and even a Plan C.  You might ask me, did I ever fail even if I had Plans A, B and C?  Absolutely I failed several times.  BTW, Having Plans A, B or C does NOT give us that blanket guarantee that we will be shielded from those flops and failures.  WHAT Plans B and C offer us are contingencies as a mitigation to that risk of failing on Plan A❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  WHAT IF you never PLANNED at all?  Apologies BUT we are unsure of your probability of succeeding in your endeavor[s] with nary a PLAN.  It's true there are tons of success stories of people WHO never PLANNED BUT WHAT is untold is that those people WHO went through with UNPLANNED endeavors took a bigger risk given the absence of a PLAN.  Will you now RISK having no PLAN than PLAN???

Yes, We Need MISTAKES To Happen

 

Yes, we need MISTAKES more than they need us.  Debatable, right?  You might argue, WHY the hell do we need MISTAKES?  ISN'T that asking for a bullet in our forehead?  NO NO NO Senor.  That's a screwed way to look into MISTAKES.  BTW, it's way off mark to even compare MISTAKES with bullets because unlike the latter, WHICH might NOT hit us at all in life, those MISTAKES are very much within our day-to-day living and WHILE we are NOT asking for MISTAKES, committing it is as human as we can be.  WHO wears any teflon wardrobe to shield himself from MISTAKES?  Yes, MISTAKES are bound to happen WHOEVER you are in life now📗📙📘

BUT the mystery of MISTAKES lies in the fact that many of us [and that includes moi in the NOT so distant past] are afraid to commit one.  I remember WHEN I was very raw in the workforce, I was suddenly 'thrown' to face challenges in the technology space WHEN I was seconded to IBM for a critical 'high profile' project.  NOT having even the sound fundamentals of mainframe technologies at that time, I had to ramp up even after my training class so that I can come up to speed WHEN I deep-dive into my project work.  And I remember my IBM mentor subtly telling me to ensure that 'NO GARBAGE' gets into the feeder system as otherwise, WHAT will get churned out will be GARBAGE no less.  At that point, I remember one time WHEN my mama scolded me and telling me SOY TEMEROSO, that is I seem to be fearful of something, sometimes the 'unknown'💚💛💜

Lo and behold, WHAT happened next, my work at that IBM project was NOT 100% accurate as I missed out identifying one data field that truncated a very critical data with four decimal places, truncating it to one decimal place.  The LESSON I picked up from that critical MISTAKE?  MISTAKES are bound to happen, even if you're so conscious NOT to commit one.  And the underlying piece here is that WHAT is of paramount importance is for us to pick up lessons from a MISTAKE so that, that MISTAKE WON'T recur💥💥💥

BUT before we get tense if we hear that all we got is one solitary reprieve to commit a MISTAKES, that is NEVER a blanket statement.  Because in the topsy-turvy world we live, those 'deja vu' moments may keep coming back just like another iteration.  BUT that exactly explains WHY a second OR third mistake may be bound to happen because permutations in an equation are NOT constant.  As variables swing as extremely as that pendulum old wall clock, so are equations!@#$%

Our takeaway:  Ultimately, regardless of the severity OR harshness of MISTAKES we commit, WHILE some of those MISTAKES are painful, they are valuable tools that help us individuals evolve and eventually succeed in both our personal and work life.  And psychologists shared this encouraging pep talk, that is, handling MISTAKES can even help us relax and enjoy all aspects of life as making MISTAKES is something we have to learn to live with.  If you hear someone say that we can run away OR avoid MISTAKES, that's baloney and in social media, that's FAKE NEWS no less dude😡😡😡

Life Is Akin To Riding Bicycles

In Albert Einstein's letter to his son Eduard, he said: Life Is Akin To Bicycles.  To keep your balance, you must keep moving.  Well said.  BUT if I will play devil's advocate, I'll make a flawed statement that if I do ground to a halt, I WON'T get off-balanced.  Oh Oh Oh, really dude?  For clarity, please DON'T take getting 'offbalanced' literally because in life, that could be translated to a thousand perspectives.  LIKE getting stuck.  LIKE being stalled.  LIKE being off-tracked.  LIKE being out of your roadmap.  LIKE being ejected out from your parachute.  LIKE being thrown out in limbo.  LIKE being in a state of stupor WHERE you end up as neither here NOR there.  WHEREAS, there should be NO argument that if you keep moving in life, you will be literally moving, progressing, moving forward and even if you do stumble, you will end rising and picking up the pieces📗📙📘

So, let's go back to Albert Einstein.  WHY was he widely quoted that LIFE IS LIKE RIDING A BICYCLE.  BUT whether we dissect this literally OR figuratively, YES, we will end up with the same subset of conclusions that have been proven throughout mankind's existence.  Much as bicycles need and expect us to keep and maintain that balance as we progressively move on, that exactly WHAT is all about.  Nothing in life is tilted on one flank, just on one side.  In each of the facets of our life, even if we hate it, we got to do that BALANCING ACT many times over❎❎❎

Allow me to do a random sampling of my countless episodes of BALANCING ACTs.  WHEN I was still in the academe, I had to BALANCE my academic and co-curricular activities.  WHEN I decided to get into the workforce, I had to BALANCE my eagerness versus my 'rawness' as a worker.  WHEN I took that quantum leap of exploring career opportunities way beyond my comfort zone, much as I was hard pressed, I was constrained to BALANCE out my thirst for opportunities versus the risks down the road.  And since risks are like land mines peppered incognito in the roads we thread, the appropriate steps I did was to mitigate the risks.  A few times, I was unable to mitigate the risks [and guess WHAT, yes I fell flat on my face those times] BUT it's part of our life realizations, seriously💚💛💜

At times, I would come across someone questioning that there is NO truth to the balancing acts in life.  BUT dude, we do need to prioritize , make boundaries, and even set aside time for each plate that we are spinning.  BUT it happens sometimes that we do feel exhausted, drained to be precise, and at times quite overwhelmed that we DON'T know HOW we're going to spin even a couple of those plates.  That explains WHY we need to focus on WHERE our help and strength come from.  And each time we trek out in those challenging roads of our life, we do get back into the swing of life and ended up catching up.  And it can be quite overwhelming once we look back at our To-Do List plus squeezing in a couple of 'surfs' BUT we just CAN'T let these things crowd out even as all our plates we are spinning would fall off-track💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Multiple lessons I learnt the hard way many times in life can all be rolled for brevity and that is, let us be cautious enough to avoid stupid mistakes, prevent burnout, and maintain a margin of safety and comfort in life.  Daring enough to bet on ourselves, to do the things we would regret leaving undone, and to be willing to be uncomfortable in the short-term so we can learn and grow in the long-term.  YES YES yow, LIFE IS AKIN TO RIDING BICYCLES😌😌😌

It Never Hurts To Be Nice

It Never Hurts To Be Nice

Being NICE may seem to be the last ever topic we can talk about, right?  NOPE!  Much as being NICE seems to be one of the more uninteresting and frankly, boring topics, let me get your buy-in by reinforcing the reasons It Never Hurts To Be Nice and to have it as our topic today.  First off,  in this tough world we have been grinding, we can bear witness to many exceptions of people NOT being NICE.  Regrettably, in more instances, those instances are detestable because generally, to be NICE will NOT cost us an arm and a leg.  YET, conversely, WHEN we should have been NICE to someone BUT did NOT manifest it, that could have caused an arm and/or a leg to the hapless and helpless person.  Let's ponder about it.  A nicety that entailed not much effort equating to a significant benefit to the supposed beneficiary of your nicety📗📙📘

As science proves that being NICE benefits both the giver and the receiver, the pestering question I often hear is as to WHY some people are so much better at putting others first?  BUT much as I have totally embraced kindness and being NICE in life, the bigger question is WHY are some of us are kinder than others.  And a much bigger question is:  WHAT stops us from being kinder.  Alas, that Covid-19 Pandemic is credited for turning around many of us as one study shows that two-thirds of people became much KINDER and NICER and nearly 60% of the population confirmed to have become beneficiaries of various acts of KINDNESS and NICETIES💧💧💧

Other encouraging findings include the fact that two-thirds of people believe that the pandemic has proven that it ia big part of human nature to be KIND and NICE because it is such a big part of HOW we connect with people and HOW we have relationships.  Indeed, this is very much akin to that principle of reciprocity WHERE it is always a WIN-WIN situation because we like receiving KINDNESS BUT we also like being KIND and NICE💥💥💥

Let's admit it.  Generally, our desire to be kind is actually quite selfish, on one level, because we all have seemingly evolved to have empathy, we have all sorts of 'ulterior motives' [Oooooops many will be hard pressed to admit that, ouch] for being KIND and NICE, the chief one of being that it makes us feel good.  Experts have revealed that from their brain research, there is a warm fuzzy feeling that people feel straight away.  BUT also, it gives us that sense that we are that KIND and NICE person WHO really genuinely cares about other people.  And we want to be good, we want to feel good about our own selves and WHAT we are like???

Our takeaway:  One think I noticed through the years is that people WHO have been told they should be KIND and NICE are naturally more likely to notice and detect those NOT so obvious opportunities to be KIND and NICE.  True, they have expectations WHICH might be the expectations of their religious teachings OR it might be the expectations of those around them.  And if there is one thing that concerns me, it was WHEN I came across the #BeKind on social media because it tends to shut people down from talking, to suggest that they CAN'T hold an opinion simply because they've got to be KIND and NICE.  Really?  BUT obviously we do want social media to be a kinder place BUT if KINDNESS then gets weaponised and used to stop people talking, then that's kind of worrisome because essentially, IT NEVER HURTS TO BE NICE, dude💚💛💜

Never Set Yourself On Fire To Keep Others Warm

 

I stumbled across this one-liner just now and I thought this deserves to be our thread today:  YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE TO KEEP OTHERS WARM.  And that made me realize that I did witness several times in the past WHEN people were attempting to take care of others BUT in the end destroying one's self in the process.  And I thought they should initiate some no nonsense 'soul searching' because that's the last thing we can ever ignore📗📙📘

BUT I realized that generally, people meant well, that there was NO bad faith, NO ill intent.  BUT I myself I did witness people with the best intentions to even over-extend himself because he DIDN'T want to hurt other people.  I could like visualize someone lighting himself up and grit his teeth through the pain to make others feel better, caring for himself ONLY AFTER he got assured that that other person is now safe and secure.  REALLY?  Seriously?  Although in all honesty, these realities is hardly surprising to me because we CAN'T control the decision-making of others, NOT even our immediate family members.  BUT WHAT's quite unfathomable is 'BURNING' oneself❎❎❎

WHAT surprises me is that act of 'BURNING'.  WHY indeed because psychologists declare that that act of 'BURNING' seems to be a leftover of someone being a 'victim' in the past.  NOW, if you have your own needs BUT they are NOT being met, psychologists explain the likelihood that in the very first place, you were NOT looking for it.  And WHEN one feels lost, you would admit in all honesty that at some points in time, you simply DON'T know WHAT you need.  BUT in reality, we have our legitimate needs.  We all do have those needs.  And yes, you need to be heard too.  We all need time and space to express our own individuality.  And that includes respect and even loving care💥💥💥

BUT in real life, the default is that many things in life we're NOT getting it because we NEVER ask for it, we NEVER look for it.  It's kind of saying WHY will you receive something you never ask for.  Unfortunately for some WHO went through emotional OR even physical abuse, those needs [WHICH we should be asking for] WON'T and DON'T even matter.  And to compound a bad situation turning worse, IF one is in that kind of situation, you could end up growing up thinking that way and even bringing that toxic thinking eventually into your marriage and by the time you've got kids, even into your parenting💚💛💜

Our takeaway:  Bottom line here is for us to break out of that mindset.  Take small [a.k.a. baby] steps to set boundaries in terms of needs such that by default, draw the line WHEREIN your needs will be prioritized [unless of course outliers happen like emergencies].  And YES, similarly like our vehicles, we need to 'tune up' ourselves, tweaking and adjusting here and there WHILE taking that balancing act between your needs and the needs of others.  Bottom line is, NEVER SET YOURSELF ON FIRE TO KEEP OTHERS WARM😡😡😡