Never Set Yourself On Fire To Keep Others Warm

 

I stumbled across this one-liner just now and I thought this deserves to be our thread today:  YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE TO KEEP OTHERS WARM.  And that made me realize that I did witness several times in the past WHEN people were attempting to take care of others BUT in the end destroying one's self in the process.  And I thought they should initiate some no nonsense 'soul searching' because that's the last thing we can ever ignore📗📙📘

BUT I realized that generally, people meant well, that there was NO bad faith, NO ill intent.  BUT I myself I did witness people with the best intentions to even over-extend himself because he DIDN'T want to hurt other people.  I could like visualize someone lighting himself up and grit his teeth through the pain to make others feel better, caring for himself ONLY AFTER he got assured that that other person is now safe and secure.  REALLY?  Seriously?  Although in all honesty, these realities is hardly surprising to me because we CAN'T control the decision-making of others, NOT even our immediate family members.  BUT WHAT's quite unfathomable is 'BURNING' oneself❎❎❎

WHAT surprises me is that act of 'BURNING'.  WHY indeed because psychologists declare that that act of 'BURNING' seems to be a leftover of someone being a 'victim' in the past.  NOW, if you have your own needs BUT they are NOT being met, psychologists explain the likelihood that in the very first place, you were NOT looking for it.  And WHEN one feels lost, you would admit in all honesty that at some points in time, you simply DON'T know WHAT you need.  BUT in reality, we have our legitimate needs.  We all do have those needs.  And yes, you need to be heard too.  We all need time and space to express our own individuality.  And that includes respect and even loving care💥💥💥

BUT in real life, the default is that many things in life we're NOT getting it because we NEVER ask for it, we NEVER look for it.  It's kind of saying WHY will you receive something you never ask for.  Unfortunately for some WHO went through emotional OR even physical abuse, those needs [WHICH we should be asking for] WON'T and DON'T even matter.  And to compound a bad situation turning worse, IF one is in that kind of situation, you could end up growing up thinking that way and even bringing that toxic thinking eventually into your marriage and by the time you've got kids, even into your parenting💚💛💜

Our takeaway:  Bottom line here is for us to break out of that mindset.  Take small [a.k.a. baby] steps to set boundaries in terms of needs such that by default, draw the line WHEREIN your needs will be prioritized [unless of course outliers happen like emergencies].  And YES, similarly like our vehicles, we need to 'tune up' ourselves, tweaking and adjusting here and there WHILE taking that balancing act between your needs and the needs of others.  Bottom line is, NEVER SET YOURSELF ON FIRE TO KEEP OTHERS WARM😡😡😡