Those Narrow Alleys

Those Narrow Alleys

We used to [wrongly] think and believe that we can LIVE LIFE on the FAST LANE.  That we could go full throttle.  That we could max things out.  That there will be no slow-downs.  That you can get things in a snap of a finger versus waiting for it in eternity.  But alas, that is more of a fairy tale than anything else.  In life, there are Those Narrow Alleys where we can't live without, where we need to wiggle out🔋

It's true, a big chunk of our time we would find ourselves traversing highways and freeways, enough for us to go for a full throttle.  Those are the times when we can drive FAST and FUROUS but even across inter-state highways, at some point, you got to slow down as you take exit points.  And farther down, you could be traversing a 2-way 2-lane road and much farther down, you could end in decrepit roads📌

Two months back when I took a break from work, initially I was driving at full throttle for roughly eight to ten hours only to screech to a halt when I had to wiggle my car out of congested towns in the countryside.  Swinging back to our life. that's exactly how it goes.  You CANNOT go a free-wheeling life year-round.  Quite a few times, you got to pull the brakes and slow down your drive💤

So, how do we handle life once you're constrained to slow down because you got to cut across those narrow alleys?  Those are the times when you CAN'T be too impulsive or just too random to come up to decisions.  On the other hand, those are the times when you have to be very calculating, very near-precise, very circumspect, cautious, guarded and contriving if you have to.  WHY?  It's because those narrow alleys in life will offer you very little, if at all, those elbow room or wiggle room when you can eke yourself out.  In worst cases, you could even end up locked-out in those narrow alleys and before you know it, you are just so stuck-up, there's no way for you find a safe exit from such predicament.  So, let us be wary and forward-looking for THOSE NARROW ALLEYS❗❗❗ 

Do You Play NOT To Loose?

Do You Play NOT To Loose?

Life may not be basketball, casino games or chess but if there is one thing that life is, life is always about competition no less.  You could be angling for higher academic grades in school.  OR you are trying to woo a girl you like heads over heels.  OR you are actively looking out in the job market.  OR you are now in that long-term relationship.  OR you're into business. Regardless, Do You Play NOT To Loose❓❓❓

That's the scary part.  If ever you play NOT to lose, if things go right [which you hope and pray], PLAYING NOT TO LOSE may mean that either in school, your grades neither improved nor worsened OR your chances of wooing that 'girl of your life' didn't become either dimmer or brighter OR in your job interviews, you were not down rejected but you were not chosen either.  OR in business, your coffers remained similar as in the past📗📙📘

In a worst case scenario [which will NOT be far-fetched if everYou Play NOT To Lose, losing when it's GAME OVER may just happen.  WHY?  Precisely, the culprit is the fact that you didn't PLAY to WIN.  By lowering your goals, conversely, you
LOWERED your chances of achieving higher results simply because you didn't aim high enough as part of your goal💧

So, what's our deal?  Please Do NOT Play NOT To Lose because that direction is what will dictate your motivational level.  And it's human nature wherein we are pushed only as far as we want ourselves to be pushed.  If all you want is a 'just enough' push, then you need to brace yourself for a 'just enough' result.  NEVER expect optimized chances of garnering the GOLD because you set your goal to achieve a BRONZE➰➰➰

What Fills Up Your Cup

What Fills Up Your Cup

Everyday we wake up in life, do we all agree that we got to Fill Up Your Cup EVERDAY.  BTW, I DON'T mean literally.  But in life, this is a non-negotiable GIVEN.  You got to replenish those 'stores' of your mental, emotional and physical energy.  These days when technologies have lorded it over our lives, to fill up our cup means we got to pull the brakes and power things off because we got to recharge our batteries.  BTW, do you want to recharge your batteries while you have NOT powered off yet?  That's a NO-NO if you don't want your battery pack to eventually give up💥

Some of us [that includes moi in the past] wrongly thought that that cup is bottomless.  No sirrr, you can dine and have your glass of lemon tea refilled but you got to ask for it.  Remember, many of us are in the midst of caring for others.  Your team in the workplace, your kids, your senior parents and of course your spouse/partner.  And that brings us back to this old saying:  YOU CAN'T POUR FROM AM EMPTY CUP📌

Whether it be PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, FINANCIALLY or PSYCHOLOGICALLY, you got to be refilling your CUP of LIFE but please DON'T wait for it to get emptied before you REFILL.  That's akin to that frying pan on the cooking stove.  In between your cookings, there's got to be oil or something in there, else the pan could get burned.  Such is the our cup of life⏳

The cost-free and easiest way to refill our cup is to KEEP MOVING.  Exercise, even in small amounts.  That can improve your mood in fact.  Some of us have that innate and burning interest on something worthwhile like writing poems, composing or even sketching and drawing.  MAKE TIME TO DO IT.  Towards endo of day, write down the 3 to 5 things you're grateful for today.  That SELF-APPECIATION will go a long way to refill our cup.  Hug someone from within your family to express your emotional and let out your affection for your family member💊

Take this GIF which tells us 'life can be lifeless' if your cup is empty.  And that is no farther from the truth. Topping the list for your to refill your cup is being constantly mindful of your HEALTH, your eating habits.  Enjoy bits of something rather than inhaling a whole quart of ice cream or an entire bag of M&M, whew.  Oh, if you can apportion a fraction of your time to read books, articles or even blogs [not to self-promote mine though] is a basic input to refill our cup.    Picking up an old hubby or starting a new one is most welcome.  Surely, you were able to figure this out during this two-year pandemic.  C'mon, DON'T miss out to refill our cup of life please❗❗❗

DON'T Play 'HARDBALL' Unless...

DON'T Play 'HARDBALL' Unless..

Yes, from time to time, we do have those tempestuous moments when we want to flex [not literally though] our muscles, that kind of saber-rattling moments but hey, DON'T Play 'HARDBALL' unless you can fulfill this short list of DOs and HAVEs.  Otherwise, forget that temptation else your efforts can easily go for naught.  Just DON'T Play 'HARDBALL' unless...

If you get entangled into an argument that turns into a tug-of-war of words, hold your ground and remind yourself DON'T Play 'HARDBALL'.  UNLESS you got all the cards stacked in your favor.  UNLESS you get into a position of strength.  UNLESS you have everything running in your favor.  UNLESS things are so lopsided in your favor  

NBA superstar Kevin Durant is our most recent basket case of NOT to play 'HARDBALL' unless you meet all the UNLESS qualifiers.  Imagine the Brooklyn Nets' superstar earning $40 million per year demanding for a trade?  Was he crazy?  Probably not.  Probably he [wrongly] thought he can easily bamboozle and play 'HARDBALL' with Brooklyn Nets billionaire Joe Tsai.  In the end, KD blinked.

Lesson here is that in negotiations, DON'T be the first one to blink, that's just a NO-NO because that could the START of your END. For jobhunters who lay down on the table their salary demands, they better be cocksure that they have all the top-tier credentials to boot for them to have at least that china man's chance of angling for the max $$$

Now, here's the tough nut to crack.  How do we negotiate if that guy across the table is several tiers much more senior or more powerful than you?  Not an easy way to wiggle out of that situation but do come fully prepared because your ace cards up your sleeves are your preparedness to bolster your positioning.  Just DON'T Play 'HARDBALL' unless..❗❗❗

Being In The Middle Is Like 'PURGATORY'

Being In The Middle Is Like 'PURGATORY'

No sirrrs, today's piece is NOT about religionas I would remain apolitical and as impartial I can be.  But isn't this quite interesting to talk about?  That Being In The Middle Is Like 'PURGATORY'.  Not to worry, we'd like pick our brains and discuss more of many scenarios in life where we are being in the middle .  In life, we are rightfully expected to know what is BLACK versus WHITE, what is the RIGHT one versus the WRONG one.

Heard of fence-sitters ?  Yessirrrrs, they are those who figuratively situate themselves in the middle whenever there are two opposing views, two warring factions, two different schools of thought.  WHY can there be fence-sitters?   It's speculative but my safe conjecture is that these fence-sitters are either scared to take a stand or they do not want to displease either of two warring parties or they simply want to give it a shrug of his shoulder and not to be squeezed by two protagonists.

Exactly, we DON'T need fence-sitters, right?  It's true we encourage opinionated ones but at the end of the day, pardon my words but we got to have the 'balls' because by doing so, you manifest your steadfastness to stand up to what you sincerely and honestly believe as to what is correct and righteous based on your honest to goodness belief.  It's true that even our judgment call gets invoked here and it's no farther from the truth that sometimes, we end up with the wrong belief, incorrect opinion and misjudgments as long as we stood by 'our balls'.

Honestly, the worst in life NOT to happen is for us to manifest that "I DON'T CARE" stance.  It may look like a safe and conservative tack [so as you could avoid erring, if it happens you made the incorrect judgment call] but what will be regrettable is that someone with the "I DON'T CARE" will lose things by default.  You could end up 'HIGH & DRY" by being a fence-sitter

So, how should we NOT be a fence-sitter?  EASY.  First off, be consistently conscious that you are always entitled for your opinion and your judgments.  Secondly, do you want to be a non-entity akin to being non-existential?  We DON'T want to be stuck in purgatory, right❓❓❓

Anger is Like Money

 Anger is Like Money

Yesirrrrrs, why do we think Anger is Like Money?  Simple. When ANGER breaks loose like health, it's akin to those times when we were awash with $$$$ because those are very similar moments where either ANGER or $$$$ can ever be halted for a brake at all.  Those are parallelisms that could be as as close as they can be.  Go back in time when we were fuming mad, red-faced and with our blood pressure probably 'skyrocketing'.  What could have stopped you from ending up like a loose cannon?  Likely, nothing could have stopped you at all.

During those moments when that 'manna from heaven' was unabatedly falling down on us from the good graces, do you remember how we handled things?  Surely, everyone went through those spending sprees.  T'was like trying to recoup for 'LOST TIME' and once you were awash with money, the only order of the day was to 'go with the flow', popping up champagne bottles with all the pompous intent until the coffers seemed to have dried up so fast.

BTW. even oil rigs eventually dry up.  So are those $$$$.  So is ANGER. Eventually those heated moments will simmer down, the adrenalin goes down, everything that was boiling up would dissipate in thin air.  WHY?  Because that's the cycle of it.  Nothing just boils up in eternity.  And swinging up to $$$$, that is never in a bottomless pit as well.  Eventually, that will dry up.  So. what lessons can we pick up from all these?  Why can't we draw from our patience before letting either ANGER or $$$$ prevail and lord it over us.

Bottom-line is, let's go and COPE with ANGER. Having said this, COPING is much easier than done but if there is one thing that literally takes over our own self and persona is our EMOTIONS and when EMOTION takes over, it wields its power over you unceremoniously, throwing out of the windows your LOGIC and SANITY.  During those moments, REASON and PURPOSE are out of your lingo.  Instead, you seem all poised for whatever worst case scenario.  Let's just get back to our senses and come up to terms✅✅✅

Of Towels and Rags

Of Towels and Rags

There's really NOT a world of difference between a towel and a rag.  Both serve the basic purpose, that is, of drying.  But in the end, there are distinct differences between them to influence you whether you should pick up a towel or a rag.  And that's where we can draw the parallelism in life.  In one glance, a lot of things seem one and the same.  But you got to take a cursory look to distinguish where you're better off.
 

And FRIENDS?  Wow, this becomes more interesting, indeed.  Because I believe most of us have mile-long stories about FRIENDS and who's innocent to admit that there are FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS who won't waste a minute to turn their backs and recklessly abandon you when the going gets rough or if they perceive you to be in 'DIRE STRAITS'. How many of such type of friends have you had in your life.  Myself?  Good grief, I got a fair share of it but you DON'T need to scratch your head and start regretting or worst even blaming yourself because they're not worth your time.  JUST MOVE ON, dude.

Better still, let us be cautious when figuring out who's not a FAIR WEATHER FRIEND.  By the way, that is no easy task considering that the likelihood is, most of the time you got fair weather prevailing anyway.  So when is the best time to figure things out?  WHEN you're beset with a serious problem.  WHEN you are in a crisis.  WHEN you are pushed to the edge.  WHEN you feel like lightning did strike you. WHEN you are in near desperation.  WHEN you are just about to give up.  WHEN you're on the precipice of calling it quits.  WHEN all hell breaks loose.  And when you finally recover from all your senses, it would not take a ton of effort for the skies to get cleared, for you to distinguish who are your genuine friends versus the not so genuine ones

At the end of the day, generally we have modest goals in life, that is, to figure out who is/are the very BFF we want to treasure.  Next to our partner/spouse and our immediate family, we all agree on the value of the BFF we want in life.  BTW, how and when can you VALIDATE whether someone is really the real and genuine BFF you deserve?  They need to hurdle that TEST.

IF someone pours it all out for you.  IF someone gives up all his takes for you.  IF someone throws his WHOLE LOT for you. IF someone unconditionally does everything to extricate you out from that deep morass.  IF someone risks an arm and a leg for you.  IF someone stands by you throughout the whole nine yards, that's your man✅✅✅

What's In Store In 'HEAVEN'?

What's In Store In 'HEAVEN'?

Let me share this short anecdote I read from Quora under Jokes, Humor and Funny Stories as posted by Lynda Clarke:  There's this Catholic couple who met a fatal accident just before they were about to get married.  After which, they sat outside the Gates of Heaven and waited for St Peter who asked what do they need?  So they asked St Peter if they can get married in heaven?  St Peter was dumbfounded and retorted that he'll get back to them.  And while waiting for St Peter, the couple discussed the pros and cons.  WHAT IF things DON'T work out between them?  Will they get stuck in heaven forever?  After a long wait, St Peter came back and said, they can get married in heaven.  And of course they reacted, 'GREAT!'.  Then they asked St Peter, what if things DON'T work out for them in heaven.  Can they have a divorce?  Omgeeeee, St Peter was so red-faced and blurted:  'It took me three months to find a priest here.  Do you know how much time it will take me to find a lawyer here?!@#$%&

Here's the thing.  You can shop [TILL YOU DROP] what you want in life, from Harrods in the U.K. to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills but that's all about shopping but in life?  My gosh.  Man's wants and desires are just insanely insatiable.  Nothing can permanently whet our appetite.  After we devour one, we go for the next round.

 The thing is, go, get your one-way ticket to heaven or whereever but we are all in this topsy-turvy world where we are all caught up in a vicious cycle.  So, are you thinking as to What's In Store In 'HEAVEN' for your?  Forget it because that's a non-sensical question.  Whether we go your way or my way, we are into this endless cycle of wanting more after devouring some.  Many still believe that something is in store In 'HEAVEN'?

Now, why DON'T we just settle down as one of these bunnies?  They know their needs, wants and desires but they have put a cap on what they can ask for.  Why can't we be like these bunnies.  Grounded.  Pragmatic. Realistic.  Especially for some who got so damn intoxicated with those 'small successes', it is time to grab that parachute and jump it out from that airborne aircraft.  Why?  You got to be grounded.  You got to realize what you are fairly entitled to and when are you stepping in those margins of greed and selfishness?  And before you know it, you've reach so far as to become avaricious and until then, you might still be thinking as to What's In Store In 'HEAVEN'?  C'mon dude, let's be grounded❗❗❗

When Do You 'DOUBLE DOWN'

When Do You 'DOUBLE DOWN' 

In life, anyone who is forward-looking will always PLAN and STRATEGIZE.  Now, here comes the 'exciting' phase.  Once you hit 'ROADBLOCKS', you will endeavor to hurdle it but alas, not everything ends like fairytale storybooks.  Many times, we fail in hurdling such 'ROADBLOCKS' so that's when you may 'DOUBLE DOWN'.

If and whenever we hit such roadblocks, we either maintain the status quo by continuing what we are doing OR we  'DOUBLE DOWN' or even change one's strategy.  To keep the status quo or changing strategy are the extreme options but somewhere in the middle is our option to  'DOUBLE DOWN'.

 Alas, 'DOUBLE DOWN' is a familiar part of that lingo in the casinos not just at The Las Vegas Strip.  Simply put, to 'DOUBLE DOWN' means you continue on your tack and on your plan but you crank up by pursuing that same goal by taking a higher risk towards that goal.  That's why  'DOUBLE DOWN' is one of the most popular casino expressions.

But hey, DON'T get me wrong.  I am not inciting here everyone to 'DOUBLE DOWN' whenever you hit a roadblock.  As this poster goes,  'DOUBLE DOWN' on your strengths.  Figure out your best cards on the deck, your strongest strengths which you can leverage on as you  'DOUBLE DOWN'.  The worst blunder is when someone decides to  'DOUBLE DOWN' when he has ran out of cards to play, no strengths left to be leveraged on.

Let's look at a workplace scenario where you were flagged down for lapses at work.  Wanna 'DOUBLE DOWN'?  How?  Look at your strengths.  If you have proven yourself well with multi-tasking, why not volunteer to your boss in back-filling for a colleague who went on emergency leave?  Once you recover that 'lost ground', you can get back on track to be in 'good graces' with your bosses.  That may give you a NEW LEASE of LIFE ✅✅✅

When You're At The EDGE

When You're At The EDGE

Here's an early morning question for us.  How often do you find yourself AT THE EDGE?  May not be always, I guess.  But surely a few times in the past you found yourself in that predicament  When You're AT THE EDGE?  Could that have been averted or avoided?  Yes because sometimes, being AT THE EDGE happens to be a consequence of our decisions

Now, let's take out those freak accidents because obviously they are outliers.  But by and large, often times we end up being AT THE EDGE because of decisions we made in life.  If you're still in the university, maybe you enrolled in a one too many subjects, way beyond what you can COMFORTABLY handle.  If you're an up and coming employee at the workplace and you've been fumbling here and there, probably you just have TOO MUCH ON YOUR PLATE?

 So, what can we do [outside of those outliers] to avert being AT THE EDGE?  Most common antidote is to always challenge yourself if ever you will end up AT THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG  TIME. Most common culprit is ending up in an event where you are UNINVITED.  Who knows, you will end up given with a COLD SHOULDER by the event host?  So obviously, there's something we can do to avert all these.

Even for quite a number of problems on the road when you're driving, a good number of such challenges could have been averted if we were PROACTIVE enough to ensure our car is in a 'TIP TOP' shape for that long haul drive. And even if you really need to take that drive but your car's shape is kinda iffffy?  Then, if you're in the U.S., take that Greyhound bus instead.

 Oh, i'd like to borrow this quotable quote from Patrick Overton, one of America's most famous authors wherein he states " WHEN YOU HAVE COME TO THE EDGE, FAITH IS KNOWING YOU WILL BE TAUGHT TO FLY". In simple terms, you GOT TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE once you are AT THE EDGE, dude✅✅✅