When the Mask Falls Off

 When the Mask Falls Off

We all got it wrong when we all thought that MASKS were introduced into our lives only during this year-long pandemic !  Would you agree that MASKS are as old as our oldest generations of ancestors ?  MASKS were wrongly thought that these were introduced into our lives only when we got this pandemic outbreak.  No sirs, let me tell you why.

In life, we do all have our 'TRUE COLORS' but the reality is that we don't tend to show our 'TRUE COLORS'.  Instead, for multifarious reasons triggered by our self-serving agenda in life, we tend to cloak it, shield it, cover it, mask it so that what comes out is what we want the people to see [regardless if that is NOT your REAL YOU].

And this valid problem tends to be a concern for us all because this shoots down the cliche 'WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET'.  In the end, that cliche becomes a figment of our imagination because what we see may not be the true picture of things.  And this is self-defeating whether at your home or at your workplace.  Not being your 'TRUE YOU', this is a manifestation of being deceiving and deceptive all rolled into one.

Oh i like this poster because I very much aligned to this page.  When you hit 'rock bottom', when you are in tatters, when you are at your worst, look around you and see for yourself who's still there to support you at your lowest point ? DON'T get me wrong though.  We're NOT implying that the people closest to you will turn their backs on you at that point in time but there is a high probability that some of the people whom you thought to be 'close enough' to you will, in the end, compromise their true colors to show how genuine are they there for you.

Thing is, enough of this charade.  Be genuine.  Be true, whether it's to yourself to everyone else around you. Be genuine.  Be transparent.  Be true.  Be what you are.  If there's someone whom you're not keen to support right from Day-1, DON'T DOUBLESPEAK.  DON'T offer one cheek and then turn the other cheek when you opt to swing your swivel chair.  That will get you no farther than where you stand now.  And if you got a phalanx of masks in your life, dump it all because all those masks will wear you down till your guilt, if this still exists, will stop you from putting on any of those masks [AGAIN].  Just stop the charade.

The ROAD LESS TRAVELLED

 The 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED'

In the hustle and bustle of our life now [regardless where we live now], surely you have seen how life can be a 'RAT RACE', everyone on their feet early morning and hitting the sack quite late in the day.   To the fortunate few who live a very controlled life that is moderately paced to his/her liking, we envy you.  But for most of us all, we criss-cross highways and geographical boundaries to go for the goals we are all so focused to achieve.

So, what's really going on ?  The big chunk of the population [and that includes traffic] are all taking the same path, same direction.  Too bad that in that more popularly travelled road, congestion is too bad and sometimes even causing collisions and mishaps.  But the more bothering question is:  why can't we take that 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED' ?  What's the upside if we take that path then ?

For my personal sharing, more than two decades back, on my own volition, I took the 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED', flying off to a country I was never been and at a time when the airfare at that time costs seven times [yes, 7x] than today's competitive airfare [even prior to this pandemic].  With all the risks, I took that 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED'.

Obviously, taking the 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED' is just too daunting, intimidating and unnerving.  With all the risks that go with that 'LEAP of FAITH', it takes more than just the purpose and focus to take that 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED'.  It means constantly reminding yourself that the path you're taking will likely reap dividends for you but only after a hell of hard work.

Fast forward, I can humbly admit that i did reap the dividends I envisioned for myself when I did take that 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED' two decades back.  And I'd say I did achieve my goals in less than ten years.  And once I did have 'in the bag' my milestone achievements, i realized I was ahead of my pre-set timelines.  But obviously, looking back, I realized that that 'LEAP of FAITH' I took was a high-risk one but as the cliche goes, HIGH RISK equates to HIGH RESULTS.  In a nutshellm if you are eyeing a 'ROAD LESS TRAVELLED' but something's holding you back, go for it and take that 'LEAP of FAITH' now ❗❗❗

Pounding the Rock

Pounding the Rock

Oh, life isn't tough.  It's just too damn tough.  Lesser souls have been waylaid.  Weaker ones are those bodies we see as casualties littered across the road.   Unfortunately, those casualties can't be blamed for not lifting a finger.  In fact, majority of them did give it all BUT here's the BUT.  Once they saw the looming shadow of the rock that seemed like an impregnable rock, many of them simply 'chickened out', too awed and overwhelmed by the sheer odds stacked against their favor.

But c'mon, this is no 'David versus Goliath' story.  You don't have to summon all the luck and divine intervention to pull things through.  Instead, you gotta embed the following attributes within you:

• CONSISTENCY - One hit is not sufficient.
• SELF-DISCIPLINE - Show up, hop out.
• ACCOUNTABILITY - Own it, there's no other way
  
  Without the CONSISTENCY, things will not pay off.  As the ROCK symbolizes life [and life can be big, hard and difficult to beat], we gotta attack life everyday.  Take that sledgehammer of action and swing it as hard and as often as possible.  One hit won't be enough because it will take consistent, powerful and frequent hits will finally BREAK THE ROCK.

Surely, there will be days when the sledgehammer may seem heavier than usual or the rock simply looks bigger than it is.  These are the days when you gotta POUND THE ROCK.  That's when you shouldn't stop taking those swings and while sometimes, those swings don't have the force you need, those are the days when even just showing up becomes that important.

Akin to a stonecutter, we gotta be accountable.  That's taking responsibility for our action.  During those days when things are too difficult, THINK of the people who depend on you, who cling on you, so you gotta continue swinging hard your sledgehammer.  Eventually the gloomy skies will clear out, the rough waves will come to a standstill, the fury of the wind will dissipate and eventually, you will achieve that breakthrough just by POUNDING THE ROCK over & over again.✅

Why You're MORE SUCCESSFUL Than You Think

 Why You're MORE SUCCESSFUL Than You Think

This perplexes me.  Why are we so damn tough on ourselves ?  Why are our criteria for success sometimes run parallel to those of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg ?  But these guys are outliers so why should we align our success criteria with them ?  Isn't it just too inequitable, too unfair and simply incomprehensible to accept, if at all.

Sure we wanna raise the bar and that's just fine.  But when we set it way too high, that's just preposterous at the very least.  You could be a local entrepreneur who had his strides of small successes to date and out of nowhere, you start dreaming of gargantuan projects that could compete with Elon Musk's SPACE X Project.  Or on a lower scale, you start dreaming to be the President of your country ?  Or being the controlling stakeholder of a conglomerate ?

Thing is, it's not bad to 'DREAM BIG' but after you're through with those fleeting moments, temper things to what is reasonable and realistic.  At the end of the day, we wanna be achievers of our successes and while healthy competition is good to kick our butts out, the bottomline is that we don't want to fantasize to the point of hallucinating things.

On the other hand, there could tell-tale signs that we are already achieving success even as we speak now WHEN:

• You're more POSITIVE in life
• You've bounced back from a SETBACK
• You live life ON YOUR VERY OWN TERMS
• You have a PLAN, a concrete one at that
• You feel BLESSED with all the BLESSINGS
• You're GRATEFUL WITH WHAT YOU ARE
• You know well your STRENGTH & WEAKNESSES
• You're GENUINELY HAPPY WHERE YOU ARE NOW
  
  You could be making mistakes here and there, sometimes guilty of those fumbling acts BUT hey, that's very much part of the game.  Who says that it will be a 'cakewalk' ?  Why is it many of us eventually FALTER and end up as FAILURES ?  It's simply because we never recognized that we were successful enough.  It's because we were so DAMN HARSH on ourselves.  It's because we were too exacting, cracking the whip on us.  So c'mon, let's celebrate even those small successes because those are the catalysts we need down the road.

Kick That 'DOPAMINE KICK' Out

 Kick That 'DOPAMINE KICK' Out

You may be unaware of that 'DOPAMINE KICK' but likely, you got that so embedded within you these days, unaware that many of the 'goings on' are either being influenced or shaped by that 'DOPAMINE KICK'.  That's the catch.  How would you know there is 'something you DON'T know ?  That could end up to be your worst enemy if things go wayward and off-track.  So, what gives? 
iWhy don't we 'KICK That 'DOPAMINE KICK' Out if that will bring down to our eventual downfall?

Please DON'T get me wrong.  Dopamine per se is good in our daily life.  Besides, who doesn't need pleasure and rewards ?  To start with, looking at Parkinson's disease and drug addition, they have a commonality and that's the improper levels of dopamine no less.  This chemical acts as a 'messenger' between our brain cells.  The importance of dopamine in our daily behaviors can never be understated.  Whether it's how we move, what we eat, how we learn, all these are influenced by these chemical messengers in our brain called 'neurotransmitters'.  

In large amounts, it motivates you to repeat a specific behavior whereas, low levels of dopamine will mean reduced motivation and decreased enthusiasm for things.  In short, we still need to increase our dopamine levels in a 'NATURAL' way, like as follows:

• PROTEIN - get it from eggs, dairy, soy among others
• Eat LESS SATURATED FAT - this is a no-brainer !
• EXERCISE EXERCISE EXERCISE - yesireeeeeee
• REGULAR, HI-QUALITY SLEEP - this is non-negotiable
• MUSIC - A bachelor Asian former president who passed away fed himself with tons & tons of music
• SUNLIGHT - Sun exposure is clinically proven as good.
• SUPPLEMENTS - If you're deficient in iron, niacin, B6
  

Bottomline is, dopamine is an important brain chemical that influences our mood and feelings of reward and motivation.  Do you recall posting in social media and you constantly checked the likes ?  Do you recall sending an SMS to your close friends and no one was replying back ?  How was your mood during those moments ?   

So where do we stand as regards dopamine? Hmmm, for your goodness sake, I humbly suggest you gotta KICK THAT DOPAMINE KICK out of your system.  That DOPAMINE LOOP where it's our human nature of wanting more of whatever feels for us, eventually you will be 'missing those butterflies'.  That's when smoking, drinking and gambling will kick-in into your life, whew.

But good for smoking, drinking and gambling, they all have age restrictions.  A pre-teen can't just do a walk-in at the casino.  But how about social media ?  Sadly, we have to admit that there is UNFETTERED ACCESS to social media.  For some hardworking parents overseas and separated from their kids, what's the birthday gifts the kids would receive ?  Smart phones or a budget for it.  So what happens to our millennials ?  They become hardwired to social media.  But we gotta pity the millennials because they end up with no coping mechanism to handle stress.  So when stress pops up, they don't turn to a person. Instead, they turn to the smart devices.  Impatience.  Stress.  Depression.  All these will lead to much bigger complications unless we KICK THAT DOPAMINE KICK OUT.📌📌📌

Got Your Compass in Life ?

Got Your Compass in Life ?

Life was always perceived to be standalone.  THAT you DON'T need anything else except life itself ?  THAT all you need is to stand on your own feet and you're spot on ?  THAT once you did hit a few initial successes. you can now cruise in 'auto pilot' ?  No sirs, on all fronts you got it all wrong.  You could have hit your stride right after you graduated from school but leaving your school's portals is just the very 'tip of the iceberg'.

And if there's something indispensable in life, that's your 'COMPASS in LIFE'.  The compass is akin to the orchestra conductor.  It gives the direction that leads to euphony and synchronized cadence in life.  Without the compass, yes your boat is still afloat in the Pacific but being afloat doesn't mean anything because being afloat may mean that your boat is simply adrift.  And when your life is adrift, you won't have the slightest clue of your direction.

The most disconcerting truth is that many of us would vehemently disagree that our life has no compass, that our life has no direction.  And that's when our real problem really creeps in.  And that's at the very core of our problems, when we even refuse to confirm that our life is rudder-less.  Yet, it is what it is when our life is going nowhere.

Surely, you're itching to confront me:  HOW CAN WE KNOW THAT OUR LIFE HAS NO COMPASS, NO DIRECTION ?  There are numerous manifestations that are symptomatic of that problem.  When you become indecisive to make decisions.  When you keep flipping your decisions.  When you are just so stoic and stubborn to admit that your life is going nowhere.

If we live with a compass, a direction in life, we can get anything we want in life but the bigger question is that why, more often, we DON'T get what we want ?  It's all because of FEAR, of SELF-DOUBT.  And that short narrative tells us why we can't do something.  So, what's next ?  Let's get to the ground and figure things out.  Bluntly, in what ways are you kidnapping yourself from the life you really want ?  Take a U-turn then by:

• DO a SELF-AUDIT.  What's working for you. What's not?
• FOLLOW YOUR FREEDOM - Go for perfection no less.
• ENGAGE - Take action.  Connect to your truth, your purpose.

Have You Found Your Way Yet ?

Have You Found Your Way Yet ?

This poster may seem over-quoted or just too old school to be worth dissecting but let's think about it, doesn't this just really makes sense to ask ?  Let's get these facts right:

• 80% of people NEVER set goals for themselves
• Of the 20% who set goals, 70% of them fail 
• And of those 20% who set goals, approximately 50% of those goals are like 'low hanging fruits', those easily achievable goals.

These numbers tell us that it becomes a wonder then that anyone accomplishes anything remarkable at all whether in business or in one's personal life.

So what's mind-boggling is that these numbers neither seem apparent or evident in our daily life.  People go through the motions everyday.  The less busy tends to seem busy.  The less focused seems to be focused.  And those lost in their tracks seem to cover-up things so it does NOT become obvious that they seem lost at all.

This infographics tells us that it takes tons of failures, tons of attempts and tons of patience till you eke things out. Now we gotta know that there are two kinds of goals, namely the "BE" goals and the "DO" goals.  "BE" goals are those we wanna be.  "DO" goals are those we wanna achieve.  And within "BE" and "DO" goals, there are four areas of goals, namely:  wealth, health, relationships and self-fulfillment.  So, any goal you set for yourself will fall into one of these areas.

But before we rush out and set our goals at random, we need to figure out what and where are those traps we need to avoid, if at all.  

• FEAR of FAILURE
• LACK of UNDERSTANDING of GOAL 
• WEAK COMMITMENT to the GOAL
• INACTIVITY
• ANALYSIS PARALYSIS [have you seen people who end up spending all time analyzing and analyzing forever ?
  
  Yes it's true, either way you or either way you end up, LIFE GOES ON but hey, it's NOT just LIFE GOES ON.  We gotta ask ourselves, what kind of life is going on ? Do we deserve a life that is going down south, in a tailspin ?  Or do we deserve a life whose upward trajectory are akin to the best golf swings in the fairway.  Have you found your way yet ? 👉👉👉

Between Two Banyan Trees

 Between Two Banyan Trees

One banyan tree is too big enough to block the sun from shining through.  But what happens when there are two banyan trees next to each other ? Will the sun still shine through it ? Singapore had a 'banyan tree' in Lee Kuan Yew.  Indonesia had two 'banyan trees' in Sukarno and Suharto.  Malaysia had Dr. Tun Mahathir. And the Philippines had its share of 'banyan trees' in Ninoy Aquino and Former President Cory Aquino'.

With the passing today of the former Philippine President Aquino, what gets brought out from the shed is the fact that in one of Asia's most famous political families with 'two banyan trees' [represented by the Aquino parents], it was  never expected that the son will shine [like sunlight streaking past between the 'two banyan trees'. But, shine he did.  The lingering question is, how did he do it ?

Tough question indeed because no amount of prodding can motivate us humans to eke out and etch our own name in history.  Human nature dictates upon us that with no driving need to really shine, we tended to be passive, laid back and ready to be in the background instead at the front of things.  But this is where Asian cultures are really steeped in tradition.  If an apparent heir has to carry the mantle forward, he has to pick up the gauntlet.

Thing is, in life, challenges will be the norm of the day.  Give me a day with no challenges, that's akin to a 'lifeless life'.  You need a challenge-free life ?  You're probably at the wrong place at the wrong time.  You gotta figure it out where you should be.  Even the scions of the powerful Asian families who were born with a 'silver spoon' in their mouth, they never fail their parents, their own 'banyan trees' once they're called upon to pick up the mantle.

Question:  for you to pick up that mantle of a challenge, what else do you need ?  It all boils down to that 'LEAP of FAITH'. Summon and gather all your reservoir of energy for you to have that 'LEAP of FAITH'.  See in yourself that tiny goldfish in a fish bowl.  When that goldfish decides for that life-changing move, the 'LEAP of FAITH' is all it takes for you get that china man's chance to let the streak of sun get through between banyan trees.✅✅✅

Basking in Success

Basking in Success

Achieving even a milestone success is success by itself and who says you DON'T deserve to celebrate for that ? Any success that is hard-earned is really worth all the hard work [after all the frustrations alongside the pain that goes with it].  So, basking in success is just the right move but please, not too long.  Not long after the frenzy that goes along with success.  Not way long after we have ran out of wines for kampais.  Not when you have over-stretched all the high fives you deserve.  Enjoy while there is still that luster, enough for you to bask in success.

To quote Faisal Khosa, "PAST SUCCESS SECURES FUTURE FAILURE IF WE CONTINUE TO BASK IN ITS GLOW FOR TOO LONG".  Well said.  In competitive sports, we have seen one-time champions who were gone the next round.  We have witnessed record-breaking performances that shattered all previous feat.  But besides being sad, we gotta figure it out why things went haywire way too fast.  The WWE is littered with a long list of the shortest championship reigns ever.

Don't get me wrong.  Celebrations are celebrations especially if we are steep in traditions just like the Chinese whose traditions have heavily influenced even other cultures.  Let us focus on the key reasons for celebrating success namely, our SATISFACTION, our MOTIVATION, our BONDING, our PEER REINFORCEMENT and as part of our LEARNING.

Wanna celebrate more ?  There are multifarious ways besides endless kampais.  Let's build recognition and gratitude into our existing activities.  Let's engage in 'social celebrations' virtually [especially since we're still in this pandemic].  Lastly, build that attitude of giving small-small things with immediacy.  Find a way to show you have noticed someone, highlighting where he did shine and how he did catch your attention.

BTW, not to deter success but there's a big legion who believe that SUCCESS IS GOOD BUT FAILURE IS BETTER.  Bottomline is, NEVER LET SUCCESS GET INTO YOUR HEAD.  On the other hand, NEVER LET FAILURE GET INTO YOUR HEART.  Sometimes, in fact, most of the times, things don't go as planned [and THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE].  When failure creeps in, it simply means there is something to be learned or likely, there is another alternative path you can trek.  In a nutshell, failure is a REDIRECTION.  It tells us which direction we should go.  And failure is an OPPORTUNITY.  That gives us the chance to evaluate things.  And lastly, failure is NOT FATAL.  So, it's fine to be basking in success but not too long, please.✅✅✅

Why Fear the 'UNKNOWN' ?

Why Fear the 'UNKNOWN' ?

What could be our WORST FEAR ?  NOT financials.  NOT the hegemonist power of China.  NOT even the pandemic.  NOT the rice bowl we need for the next meal.  And it is unfortunate that studies show that the worst fear of mankind is our fear of the 'UNKNOWN'.  Most of us [including me in the past] gave so much credence and weight to the 'UNKNOWN'.  What a waste.

Too bad, many of us end up crippled [frankly, i'll say 'paralyzed] because the 'UNKNOWN' is gobbling us up, mentally, psychologically and even emotionally.  The 'UNKNOWN' becomes the monster that can just push us down the ravine for a fatal end.  BUT IS THIS FAIR ?  What is there in the 'UNKNOWN' which pushes us to the edge, to that precipice towards sheer disaster ? Is it the 'UNKNOWN' of the 'UNKNOWN' ?

We can say this over and over again but this is it.  Only CURIOSITY of the 'UNKNOWN' will get us through and let's not mince words on this.  Let us not look far.  See how this pandemic is going on.  Should we fear that the 2nd dose of the vaccine is not enuf ?  Should we doubt the efficacy of Moderna or AstraZeneca ?  Should we fear that there will be a 3rd Wave, a 4th Wave ?  Should we fear that the economy will further go down the drain ?  Should we fear losing our jobs ?

Truth is, by being so misguided by wasting our time, efforts and focus on the 'UNKNOWN' will cause an enormous drain we will never be able to recoup.  It's akin to finding that needle in the haystack.  At the end of the day, this could lead you to sleep deprivation, anxiety and eventually, depression.

In practical terms, here we go.  Let FEAR become useful.  Let us leverage on FEAR to trigger that adrenaline surge from us.  Look at that half-watered glass as half-full [and NOT half-empty].  Think that if we live in a risk-averse existence because of fear, we also live a joy-averse existence.  How do we unlock these all ?  It's building up that POSITIVE MINDSET.  That will carry you through, trust me.❗❗❗