Are You in a Carousel Ride ?

Are You in a Carousel Ride ?

Are you in a carousel ride ?  Yes we do, yes we are all in that carousel ride, and that will last our lifetime, like it or not.  No one ever falsely raised our expectations that we'll be onboard Elon Musk's SpaceX journeys.  Ours is a carousel ride, with lots of UPs but with more DOWNs where we get hit via those deep deep plunges into deep south.

Frankly, our life is our responsibility.  The LAND of the BRAVE and the HOME of the FREE is not even close to the truth [because people are grinding, struggling].  Complaining has no value.  If you complain not having enough money, let's work more, work harder.  Of course, we got hit with the pandemic but this is not the end of the world.  We have seen former pilots doing a career shift, flight attendants now cooking and selling food in front their homes [they don't need to rent a business space].

In memory of Alex Schachter, a teenage student who was killed in that shooting rampage in Parkland Florida last 2018 wrote this poem just before he got killed:  "LIFE IS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER.  IT HAS SOME UPS AND DOWNS.  SOMETIMES YOU CAN TAKE IT SLOW OR VERY FAST.  IT MAY BE HARD TO BREATHE AT TIMES BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO PUSH YOURSELF AND KEEP GOING".

In a nutshell, challenges are part and parcel of life.  It's unthinkable for one to be surprised facing challenges.  Instead, you should take on such challenges head-on till you run over them. Dan Pena, the $50 Billion Man said:  "YOU MUST BE ACCOUNTABLE TO YOURSELF.  IF YOU DON'T HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE ENOUGH, YOU WILL COME UP WITH ALL THE REASONS WHY YOU CAN'T DO THIS OR THAT."

This poster captures it all.  In brief, have a purposeful life.  Find a purpose. if you have a purpose-driven life, it adds to your years.  if you are not akin to that 'KID EVERY DOOR', develop yourself to be that 'KID EVERY DOOR'.  This is an example of transformative learning when you find purpose and meaning in what you're doing.  With your passions in life, DON'T follow your passions.  Invest in your passions instead and be the best at it.  If you have to lose, rise up and never give up.  And if you do win, win even if its uglier in the mud.  YOU MADE IT THEN, dude.✅✅✅

Hold Your Horses !

Hold Your Horses !

This is no double-speak even as for the longest time, we have been preaching that we are in a maddening 'rat race', that we are more often running in full throttle with only the pit stops as our respites.  But c'mon, let's bring our feet back to the ground and understand what really is going on.  Please don't look at things in a convoluted way even as complex real-life scenarios lead us towards narratives that encompass all manners of digressions.

If engines and machines need a downtime to cool off, it's non-debatable that humans would need much more downtime than engines and machines.  And while we kept harping that we need to give it all till we empty our tank, we just cannot over-stretch ourselves and literally and get emptied with fuel because our engine will suffer a 'knock' if indeed the fuel line dries up.  BTW, in the midst of the rat race, we owe it to ourselves to even grab a cup of brewed coffee.

How powerful PAUSE is ?  It is so damn powerful that will cost you nada, nothing.  In the midst of the daily stress and pressures in our daily lives, do take a respite to notice your breath.  Nothing to change.  Nothing to control.  Just observe the cool air coming in through your nose.  Note that feeling of energy flowing into your body and notice how your body relaxes when you breath out.  Close your eyes.  Let this become one of your 'dailies' as this exercise.

The bigger question probably bothering you is to know WHEN TO PRESS PAUSE?  Valid question indeed.  Basic ground rules:

DON'T PAUSE only when you're down.  DON'T PAUSE only when you're drained.  DON'T PAUSE only when you're burdened. DON'T PAUSE only when you're giving up! 

In real terms, we need to hold our horses if we need to deep-dive into a problem, dissect a troubling issues, figure out the difficulties we're facing, reassess things because we're getting nowhere, relook at our approach because we don't seem to progress yet.  In life, holding your horses will buy you time, literally and figuratively speaking.❗❗❗

Sweeping It Under the Rug, Really ?

 Sweeping It Under the Rug, Really ?

Are problems damn stubborn ?  Not really.  It's we/us who are that stubborn.  When problems pop-up, we gotta solve it, right ?  Else, it won't die a natural death.  
You might challenge me with this:  For what use are the rugs and carpets ?  Oh oh, that's 'one kind of a question' indeed.  BTW, rugs and carpets are part of internal home accessories.  And it serves a purpose, e.g. it makes an area more comfy but problems should NOT be swept under the rugs and carpets, NOT AT ALL.

Wonder why it won't work that way ?  Simply put, the rug and carpet is a dead-end thing.  It's not even comparable to a sewerage where waste can flow through till it flows out.  Problems need to be dealt with.  Else, in due time it can become a monster of a problem.  Imagine if years back, you received a notification from IRS [in the US] or CRA [in Canada] or IRAS [in Singapore] for a tax payable of $300.  Ignore it, fine but years later, that could balloon to several thousands.  

Health problems are potential 'red flags' too.  DONT and DON'T wait for a recurring cough to go from bad to worse to worst.  Sweeping that minor-minor cough under the rug will not help.  Disputes.  Whether it be marital/conjugal disputes or commercial disputes, it's gotta be fixed at all costs.  Revisit that dispute decades later, I'll guarantee you it has become a monster of a problem not because it was a 'monster problem right at DAY-1'.

Way before this pandemic struck us all, we were all suffering from another epidemic tagged as PROCRASTINATION EPIDEMIC.  And even as we speak now, it's almost strangling our neck and when do we move our ass ?  Only when we're grasping for air to breath because we're more than just getting choked.  You could be 'NOT PANICKY' and so damn cool but that's only the periphery of things because deep inside your dark dungeon, a fire is now ablaze and before you know it, that fire will spread fast and quick like those bushfires in the wilderness of the Australian continent.

Lucky for us when a problem gives a die-die deadline.  Unfortunately, most problems DON'T publish or announce a deadline at all.  Here's how to deal with those 'no deadline' problems:

ACT to recognize that the problem does exist.

ACT to identify the problem's impact to you.

ACT to mitigate or contain the problem's impact.

ACT to come up with a concrete timeline.

ACT to follow the concrete timeline you laid out

ACT before your problem becomes a MONSTER.

Are You Out of the Woods Yet ?

Are You Out of the Woods Yet ?

I remember the poem by Robert Frost which goes this way: 'WHOSE WOODS THESE ARE I THINK I KNOW. TO WATCH HIS WOODS FILL UP WITH SNOW'. What a nostalgic and poignant realization of my Literature Class in school long time ago.  Which brings me to this next point.  When we do hit a problem, we're just so damn focus to find the right fix and apply it as quickly as possible.  But I have heard several 'horror' stories wherein the same problem comes back and haunts us even before the dust has settled down.

Supposedly, the dust is our very bellwether.  It should give us the cue, in fact, when our problem has been fixed.  But in this topsy-turvy world, be forewarned that even the dust can give us the mixed signals, indicating that a snafu has been fixed whereas the very problem is still lingering not within the surface but beneath the periphery.  So the question is, how can you be assured that when the dust settles, your problem has indeed been fixed ?  Simple folks.  Replicate it, simulate it, get into role plays.  If it's a scenario too complex to be simulated, pull yourself in one corner and play a devil's advocate by challenging the fixes you applied.  Run a 'STRESS TEST' with lots of 'WHAT IF' scenarios, and those 'WHAT IFs' should not be just be lip service but instead pushing out the best from you.

What happens when you realized that you're NOT 'OUT OF THE WOODS' yet ? When the same problem seems to be hanging over you like the Sword of Damocles ?  Sure-fire tell tale signs that you're still stuck with the same dilemma:  interactions remain uneasy, moves are still calculated, intentions are premeditated.  The long and short of it, you remain uneasy.

So why do problems keep repeating itself when, all along, we thought we have fixed things ?  MAYBE you DON'T see what you should see ?  MAYBE you only believe in what you're doing ?

MAYBE your communications really sucks ?  Or MAYBE you're risk-hesitant ?  Or you're off-track? Either way, you gotta right your wrong and compounding a wronged thing with another miscue will just further push you in deep morass.

Key here is that you gotta have the KEY to UNLOCK the problem.  Getting hold of that KEY is the KEY and more often, that is so damn elusive because many times, problems do not present as problems.  They will look like a wolf in sheep's clothing.  Or a Guardian Angel-like whisper which turns out evil.  So for COMPLEX problems, 'drill and dice' them.  For RECURRING problems, deep-dive into the ROOT CAUSE.  

For perennial problems pestering you over and over again, run through the problem and dissect it to fractions, to pieces.  All it takes is PATIENCE + PERSISTENCE + PERSEVERANCE.  These are the 3 P's that need your buy-in. All these go hand in hand with thinking out of the box.  If you seem to be in a cycle, break that cycle.  If you need to change your mind, that changes your life.  If nothing changes around you, change the things around you.  You need to break through.  You need to wake up from your conundrum. Redeem the points today for yesterday's gains.  Now you're back on track ✅✅✅

Are You a One-trick Pony ?

Are You a One-trick Pony ?

Are You a One-trick Pony ?  If ever you are, we need you to keep that solitary ace up in your sleeves and start working for your next trick, next next trick and so on.  This is a sage advice that has reached us from all the previous generations.  Being a one-trick pony isn't bad.  In fact, that's a very auspicious start as it augurs well that you are on the right track.  But here's the pit you might fall through.  If you rest on that solitary ace, you are doomed to fail as early as that point when you got one trick.

You may challenge me:  WHY SHOULD WE LEARN ANOTHER TRICK WHEN WE GOT ONE ALREADY ?  Hmmmp, the short and sharp retort to that interrogative statement is this:  YOUR TRICK IS ONLY AS GOOD AS IT LASTS.   And if you tell me you take that you're willing to take that risk with just one trick, that's quite pitiful.

If you want want to have one of the best lives ever (which is to live on your own terms], then you need to PAY YOUR DUES for you to get there.  DON'T allow circumstances to define you.  If you want more freedom in your life, you got to have more discipline.  Basic DON'Ts:  DON'T be a whiner.  DON'T be a complainer.  And what envelopes all these is our discipline which is something we were not born with.  But instead, it is akin to a muscle that needs to be trained.

If and when you may seem lost because all along, your solitary skills is enough to bring you forward, you may seem lost because you're lost with the stress and inside you.  How do you manage things? Start each day fresh like a fresh canvass where you can paint what you want.  And never feel secured with that one or two skills is all it takes for you to reach your destination.    

How do you expand your skills ?  That question goes back to you because that hinges on your directions in life.  And your directions has to be concrete enough.  You just can't declare you want to be a Seaman.  You need to ask yourself what are the responsibilities you will own up as a Seaman because that will dictate upon you the skills you need to develop towards that path.  

And if you are less motivated, a real man is one , when no one is watching, he puts in work.  These are the hallmarks of successful athletes.  They invest years and years honing their skills, be it at the basketball gym or in a boxing gym.

Let's not be a one-trick pony, dude. ❗❗❗

Of Mirage Mirrors versus Smoke and Mirrors

Of Mirage Mirrors versus Smoke and Mirrors

 

Mirage Mirrors are really two parabolic mirrors with identical shapes leading us to see two types of images namely real and virtual.  How this got to do with our lives ?  We badly need mirage mirrors so that what you're seeing is really the real virtual reading of a situation.  Else, you what you'll see will be smokes, those vague imageries which will depict a picture that's different from the truth.

Whereas, don't get mixed up with 'smoke and mirrors' these are realities in life which when we examine close enough, it will shape up as more of an illusion more than anything else. More often, this is something intended to disguise or draw attention away from something either deceptive, fraudulent or sinister.  

Think of your workplace that there's someone disliked but probably not despised.  Basic DONT's.  DON'T talk about that person behind that person's back.  And DON'T impulsively run to another job.  Things DON'T get fixed that way.  Instead, take control of your role at work.  We DON'T have to like everyone and they DON'T have to like us.  But, here's the catch though.  Being disliked and enduring disrespect are two different things.  If it's simply disliking someone, most likely you need to 'grow and live with it'.  And how you handle things could either be a hit or miss because it's one for you to become the 'aggressor' or end up as the 'villain'.  Probably by saying 'you hurt my feelings', you could end up as the damsel in distress.  And while we DON'T like to think of ourselves as victims [as in the case of the 'master manipulator'], we just 'NEED TO BEAT THEM AT THEIR OWN GAME'.

We all should be on the same page that what's keeping us all busy everyday is because we that destination called 'happiness'.  It doesn't take a scientist to figure out that none of us are chasing misery.  But here's the catch.  What if you end up with too many options and you end up choosing those options that eventually throw you off the course ?  Unfortunately, here's the reality in life.  If you live a growth-oriented life, you will likely encounter distractions and many of them 'planted' in front of you by well-meaning people.  And they look like opportunities but take a real close look, they are obstacles that will cause you to veer off course.  

You take a job more for $$$ more than anything else, you'll get OFF-TRACKED.  If you get into a home loan only to end up underwater, you know you're OFF-TRACKED.  So, setting well-defined goals is the first step in knowing the difference between opportunities and obstacles.  We all agree that everybody heads down the wrong path from time to time.  And it will take you time to recover.  The fewer times you do that, then the faster you'll reach your goals.  Pronto amigo.❗❗❗

Those 'PUSH BUTTON' Decisions in Life

Those 'PUSH BUTTON' Decisions in Life

In our lives, how many times we reached a decision point where you have to make up your mind ?  Likely thousands of times, right ?  Could be as petty as to whether you'll buy popcorns or could be as serious as decisions that will impact milestones in life, be it a decision to accept a job offer, to resign from your current work or even life-changing decisions that relate to settling down in life, getting married, among others.  Those are 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions.

And most impactful decision points you need to make carry with it that impact to financials.  So, which means, any off-track decision with dire financial consequences may just drive things down down south.  And when $$$$ does matter, there's just very little room for error.  Else, there's just no UNDO for any misstep you might take.  What explains why there is hardly an UNDO for judgment calls that end up south-bound ?  It's because the ramifications led to tipped dominoes.  Those are 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions.

What then justifies the urgency for aThose are 'PUSH BUTTON' decision [in life] ?  It's the element of time, that's the long and short of it.  You can reach the right decisions but if it gets done at the wrong time, that right decision gets wronged !  Whereas, you could be toying with a decision that may not seem to be the best option but if you crack the whip at the best timing, risks can be mitigated and at best, a murky situation gets cleared up, enough for you to move up.

I can't agree less with this poster, i.e. that TIMING IS EVERYTHING.  The breadth and depth of a decision primarily hinges on TIMING.  And that TIMING will require a hell lot of gumption to press the button and pill away.  You could be a coach in a hoops game and as your team is catching up and rallying, that 'PUSH BUTTON' situation will definitely pop-up.  In school, your performance in one subject is precariously tilting, so it's likely you'll have a 'PUSH BUTTON' situation whether you should drop that subject or continue.  At work you could be facing serious challenges with tremendous pressure coming from all quarters.  You could have a 'PUSH BUTTON' whether you'll quite or not.

Good questions.  Why is it so hard to make decisions ?  Simple hijo.  Our minds are playing tricks with us.  We see it as difficult.  Promise it will be damn difficult.  We see it as a simple decision.  It will be that simple.  To go back to Elon Musk, the world's #1 billionaire, 'FAILURE IS AN OPTION.  IF THINGS ARE NOT FAILING, YOU ARE NOT INNOVATING ENOUGH'.  Why ?  Because you're in the comfy zone!

Choices ?  What has choices got to do with 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions you're grappling now?  More often, the choices we pick up along the way eventually pave the very path that leads us to 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions.  Some 'PUSH BUTTON' decisions could have been averted where it not for the previous choices you made.  But where a 'PUSH BUTTON' has got nothing to do with choices, that's deja vu, you're back in that cycle of making that 'PUSH BUTTON' decision.  So, let's sharpen our skills so that we'll have that gumption a.k.a. balls when a 'PUSH BUTTON' decision pops up.✅✅✅

Don't Question the Questions, Ever !

Don't Question the Questions, Ever !

Questions Questions Questions, anyone ? Should be that way, we need to be welcoming with all questions posed upon us as long as they are valid and reasonable enough to be answered.  Many points of failure in our lives are like landmines planted all over the place, about to blow up anytime we make a misstep.  So what do we do instead ?  Sadly, many of us tend to avoid or ignore questions posed upon us.  Worst, we tend to be smart [not really !] to skirt and go around, giving lip service to posed questions. 

Why do we avoid or ignore questions posed upon us ?  In an illogical sense, we take it as another breach of our privacy, that we are entitled to keep things under cover even for no reason at all.  These interrogatives ?  We tend to take them as intrusive enough that does not deserve a reasonable response.  But don't we realize that whoever is posing that question, it behooves that we respond back because in the first place, it means that our existence, our presence is recognized at the very least.

C'mon, can we run things this way.  Pull that person in for you to have a one-on-one.  That becomes prim and proper so that anything that is unclear or muddled are given crystal-clear clarifications.  Whereas in real life, we tend to AVOID & GO on the premise that avoiding questions will lead those questions to a natural death

As we all live in a digitally connected world now, we don't want to give responses like this right ?  That 'THIS TOPIC IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION' and worse, you can't declare 'COME BACK SOON' because questions left unanswered will likely boomerang to you, the supposed responder.  Rule here is, avoidance does not closeout loose ends and hanging items.

And if for some reasons no one is asking you questions, not to worry, you got a handful of daily questions you need to ask yourself:  

1. DID I ACHIEVE MY TASKS FOR TODAY ?
2. WHAT MOTIVATED ME TO ACHIEVE THOSE TASKS ?
3. WHAT MISSTEPS or MISTAKES DID I MAKE TODAY ?
4. DID MY FAMILY BENEFIT FROM MY TASKS TODAY ?
5. HOW CAN I IMPROVE MYSELF BASED FROM TODAY?
6. CAN I TAKE GOOD SLEEP BECAUSE OF ALL MY ACCOMPLISHED TASKS FOR TODAY ?

Let's go back and see how far can we replicate the work ethics of Elon Musk.  first things first, he always asked:  What's your MIT [Most Important Task] for the day ?  That then sets the tone for your task planning and prioritization for a given day.  Remember, everyday we have 2 options:  MOVE FORWARD [and have a choice] OR MOVE BACK INTO SAFETY.  It's your call, dude.❗❗❗

Why Your Mirror Should Be Your BFF !

Why Your Mirror Should Be Your BFF !

Hmmmm, surely this will become a lively debate because surely, you know who's your BFF[s], right?  But that's fine, we're not implying that you have to disown whoever is/are your BFFs now.  What we're pushing is for you to agree [without appearing as acquiescing] that your own mirror should be your BFF as well.  If that's debatable, sure we can discuss it.

C'mon, this is non-negotiable.  In our life, we got to have in place anything that's akin to a "FEEDBACK LOOP" for yourself.  Simply put, you need to find out what have you done and how can you do it better.  Remember, we can't be an 'all-weather' toughie in life.  There will be times when we seem vulnerable, delicate and fragile like that porcelain doll.  And when we face our mirror, what we're aiming for is to get back that 'rude dude' attitude as quickly as possible.

Yes it's true, we do have those moments when we are weak or even at our weakest point.  The most common lapse we commit is that we are unaware that we're at those 'low points' and that's an alarm that should have rang up loud enough because it is imperative that we are fully awake and aware when things are going south because that's the time when we need to put on that 'tough guy' face and start grinding.

What's scary is when things really turn towards 'deep south' when it seems the doomsday clock is ticking fast, inching closer to midnight.  Ironically, you, we can be everything and nothing all at once, turning us like a disturbing Frankenstein monster stranded somewhere between life and death being harassed by villagers with pitchforks [can you visualize that?  OMGeeee].

Oh, did you had those moments in life when you seem shackled ?  Then you gotta 'unshackle' yourself, let loose yourself from constraints and limitations that may seem to be strangling you.  Remember, BREAKTHROUGHS are NOT just X's and O's.  it all boils down to mental toughness.  And BTW, use your guilt as your fuel.  Start feeling guilty when you're not achieving because to achieve means you need to keep going, keep chasing till you face your mirror with a SMILEY face😀😁😂😃😄😆😇

Have You Learned the 'RIGHT READS" ?

Have You Learned the 'RIGHT READS" ?

Sometime back, we talked about BODY LANGUAGE, how it can be a powerful tool we can leverage.  But it doesn't end up there.  Learning the "RIGHT READS" is another conduit to equip and aid us even way before we get into decision points in life.  But learning the "RIGHT READs" offers us much more challenging points to overcome because more often, it becomes a judgment call as you walk that fine line between what could be the 'RIGHT READs' or the 'WRONG READ'.

Don't get me wrong, we're not asking you to be a volume reader.  In fact, you don't need to read because the hell of 'RIGHT READs' we need to learn are not literally readable but instead, this entails us to deep dive even beyond ground level because as the cliche goes, 'God is in the detail'.  In real life, when someone is spewing a mouthful, more often, we don't even need to read between the lines but instead, we just need to 'read the lines'.    

It's for us to pick those 'low hanging fruits' because more often, it entails minimal effort but here's the catch.  Picking up the 'RIGHT READs' expects us to be extra discerning.  And that means, 'reading the lines' and finding the 'RIGHT READs' when the handwriting is all over the wall.  The risk here is missing those 'RIGHT READs' because those misses will become huge missed opportunities.  And God knows the ramifications once we miss out those 'RIGHT READs'.

When you want something as bad as you wanna breath, that's when you will find your way.  It doesn't take you to be talented or gifted.  You don't even need to be the most intelligent.  DON'T let external factors control you.  Instead, you gotta be in control of your life because life won't give you anything but if you make it, no one can take it away from you because at

 the end of the day, what counts is hard work and tenacity.  The worst faux pas in life is if you're looking for a way out.  But if you put yourself in a position of change, you know you can do it but you just wanna do it.  Once you get into that vicious cycle, you may end up with an excuse to tell yourself that you'll do something the next day, the next week till you would have gone kaput.  But the $64 question for you, for us, is this:  Do we agree that we can't remain the same ?  That we gotta evolve ?  That to evolve is more than just changing ?  As the cliche goes, 'change is good' but the question that may stomp you and me is this:  are you changing for the right reasons ?  Or are you changing just to please other people ?  Oh c'mon.