Today [and NOT Tomorrow] is What Matters Most

Today [and NOT Tomorrow] is What Matters Most

Not to spoil our weekend, I'd like to cover in this piece the discussion that more of Today [and NOT Tomorrow] is What Matters Most, hoping that we're more into consensus-building albeit this discussion could be debatable and sometimes divisive. The ADAVIC portal [@ https://www.adavic.org.au/PG-fact-sheets-procrastination.aspx#:~:text=We%20may%20delay%20and%20avoid,to%20achieve%20without%20losing%20face.] rattles off quite a long list of manifested procrastinations, amongst others:  not calling back your friend afer a missed call, postponing your sched to go to your dentist for a toothache bothering you for so long now, putting off paying your bills not until its deadline [spelt "D-E-A-D-Line] creeps, not making a decision for something which you should decide anyways and just one too many more.

Unfortunately, Thomas Edison didn't invent that light bulb so that we can procrastination becomes an endemic part of our character, our discipline, our persona.  No sirs.  That explains why I grabbed this simple pic to accentuate the fact that at any given time, there is only one bulb lighted on and that's today's bulb.  Why is there only a solitary bulb lighted ?  That's because we can control only everything and anything that's IN THE MOMENT.  Anything passed or upcoming are beyond our realm

Why do I keep pestering [pardon for lack for a better verb] you on this ?  It's NOT because you'll hit your mark today.  It's NOT because you will leave an indelible footprint today.  It's NOT because you'll hit bullseye, that dreamt jackpot right today.  But instead, let's immerse ourselves with this simple poster which says it all, 'SUCCESS is the sum of SMALL efforts repeated day in and day out'.  In a nutshell, for you to achieve succeeding on one goal, that could take a thousand steps, a thousand days or more.  What matters most is that you never wasted your time when you IN THE MOMENT [today].  I don't expect you to brag that even without lifting a finger today, you're nearer to your goal today than where you were standing then as of yesterday !

Do we need slogans to push us hard forward ?  MAKE TIME.  TODAY MATTERS.  MOVE AN IDEA TO ACTION [before your brain sabotages you [because to quote Denzel Washington, 'your brain is wired to kick you out'.  To quote this acclaimed American actor in that interview @ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/19/arts/television/denzel-washington-michael-b-jordan-black-panther-iceman-cometh.html, "Nobody's perfect.. we're just humans, we will keep making mistakes [and probably some more]... but you gotta learn from [those mistakes] And as Denzel Washington quoted his mother, 'keep it simple.  Cut the fat away'.  

I'm sorry folks, I may sound like a broken record now but so be it, if only to harp reinforce and let this message resonate across the room that the crux of the matter is that 'TODAY MATTERS', not yesterday, not even tomorrow.  Word of caution folks, the devil never sleeps.  And he's damn patient.  He perseveres whispering through your ears to rest [and put off things for tomorrow, whew !].  True, there may be tell-tale signs that you need some time off but DON'T be ill-advised to succumb to that !  Just NEVER give in to that immediate gratification that whispers through you.

Folks, not to be an alarmist but the truth is that we're all still stalled and caught in the quagmire of this pandemic.  BUT hey, to quote Neil DeGrasse Tyson, a noted American astrophysicist and planetary scientist, in that masterful interview at @ https://www.businessinsider.com/neil-degrasse-tyson-meaning-life-2016-4, to quote, 'a new level of hunger has descended upon us' and... lots of methods and tools will feed that hunger which are all accessible to us.  What perplexes him is that, 'many people are looking for that meaning of life, as though it's under the rock or under the tree'.  Folks, face the mirror, it's all within you, within your hands.  Move your ass IN THE MOMENT, today, NOT tomorrow.

Being as STUBBORN as the Virus, YES Let's Replicate That !

 Being as STUBBORN as the Virus, YES Let's Replicate That !

⏳ If there's something we can replicate from this Covid virus, it's that being that STUBBORN, that's all, period.  From where else can we replicate that damn stubbornness but from this pandemic !  Because if there is one huge irony between the human race and the Covid virus, it's that huge gap in being STUBBORN.

The problem is, or rather, OUR PROBLEM is that we are weaklings, we are faint hearted. We vacillate as soon as the first strong wind blows us off.  We teeter as soon as the first sounds of thunder runs up its decibels.  We teeter rather in a snap when the slightest threat surfaces upon us.  The mother of all blunders is our constant changes in our pre-set goals.  With the slightest nudge, we can set aside priorities.  It doesn't take an effort for you to set aside for tomorrow what you should have done today.  Why can't we be akin to that stubborn camel ?

The thing is, we can't skip stops.  Otherwise, you will be reciting HAIL MARYs till you end up out of work.  At work, you gotta find passion for you to reach that point where all work will not be work anymore for you.  Isn't that beautiful ?  Working passionately and oblivious of the ticking time ?  You gotta find that HARMONY because it's all about MEANING.  Whatever you're into, it has to be that useful, to you personally.  Be that nimble and robust so you could be able to take those punches.

Yes folks, the mother of all ironies, for us raising our kids or even those with doting nieces, we tend to succumb to their charm.  But hey, as this poster goes, these kids need us to be that STUBBORN ! Note that our lives and the adversities in life are Siamese Twins.  You can be down there, on the lowest strata of society or you could be one of the world's top billionaires but if there is a common ground, it's those adversities.  We just gotta lean towards our future.  Adversity leads to success [and this is not a sales pitch].  This is the gospel truth we gotta live with.  And this is where being 

stubborn really kicks in.  You gotta stick to your goals.  Never get enamored by seasonal temptations.  When food retail business sprout around in the shopping malls, you decide to plunge into those unknown waters where you don't know anything about that business, not from Adam.  When everyone goes for culinary courses leading to culinary jobs, you dump your academic courses and pronto you shift to culinary arts. all because you got enamored by that 'gold rush' kind of thing.  Why can't we be like this young girl, so firm, so sure of what she wants, she's standing on firm ground ?  Stick to that notion of projecting yourself forward, and that works for clear decisions, even for decisions revolving around your family.  Taking a long-

term point of view will lead you to realize that hey, you can live for the NOW and at the same time think of the expanse of time way down the road.  There are just too many paths to achieve that sense of satisfaction in life.  You gotta find what really works for you.  Be focused not just on the darts board.  Be firmly glued at the bullseye.

Elon Musk, the world's top billionaire today went for the unthinkable.  The electric cars.  The Space X Project.  He failed a thousand times.  He lost millions of hard earned dollars but he what set him apart from the pack was his utter stubbornness. He was relentless in his pursuit.  His persistence was at his very core.  He always reminded himself NEVER TO GIVE UP UNLESS HE IS FORCED TO GIVE UP. Indeed, what a mantra.  Who else could fail ?

POWER by Example and NOT Example by POWER

 POWER by Example and NOT Example by POWER

⏳ If I were an American, I may be RED or BLUE, that won't matter but what struck me early morning today [while gulping my apple cider] was this one-liner from the inaugural speech of US President Joe Biden: that is, "We lead NOT by the example of power but by the power of our example". We have one too many leaders interspersed across our landscape but the trouble is, there is a plethora of leaders where often times, the followers are lost and confused either because the leader is manifesting differently from the expectations of his constituency or the leader himself is sending mixed and/or inconsistent messages in his exercise of powers arising from his leadership role.  Problem is, we can't blame followers if they end up blindly following their leader regardless of his trajectory.

Rightfully, the leader is up there at the pedestal because he was ensconced by his constituencies and rightfully, it behooves that the leader should be aligned with his followers in his performance as a leader.  The pitfall happens if the followers have only the leader as the incumbent option and there is no alternative.  And when it happens that the leader wields his power as a 'strongman', the weaklings hardly have a china man's chance to at least cause a dent for a leader who is off track.

And the mother of all ironies is that efficiency as a leader doesn't guarantee him to reap the fruits of success.  Rebecca Zucker was spot on in dissecting this in her piece with the Harvard Business Review [@ https://hbr.org/2019/02/why-highly-efficient-leaders-fail]. And where did those failed leaders really fail ?  It's in building relationships, the need to be engaged at the ground level, at the grass roots.

What then brings us to the proven roadmap for a leader to succeed ?  Brent Gleeson clearly made this a centerpiece and focal point of his contribution @ https://www.forbes.com/sites/brentgleeson/2016/11/09/10-unique-perspectives-on-what-makes-a-great-leader/?sh=36006e9d5dd1].  The key centerpieces here was that a leader should know his team and get their respect.  Never demand respect because that's earned.

What then it takes to be that successful leader ?  Let's go back to basics.  Knowing your deliverables, knowing your team, being at the ground [and not at that Ivory Tower] and working hard to earn their respect, these are the ingredients that are the very hallmarks of the successful leaders who have imprinted themselves in crafting their respective success stories.📌

Draw Your Lines in the Sand

Draw Your Lines in the Sand

🎲 Sipping my coffee this morning, I came across tidbits news from NBA that Filipino-American Coach Erik Spoelstra just achieved another milestone, becoming the 6th winningest coach in the NBA Regular Season, overtaking Phil Jackson, one of the NBA's most successful all-time coach and executive ever in NBA history.  Indeed, I realized this was another major milestone for Coach Erik.

25 years ago, Coach Erik was just a videographer till one day, the Pat Riley, the revered 'Godfather' in the NBA asked him to go to his office, really in 'Godfather' Style, with the office blinds down, with the office room dimly lighted.  And Pat curtly told Coach Erik that the day has come for him to pass the torch over to him.  That it was like him being at the bird's nest and he's about to push Coach Erik off the branch, so he gotta learn how to fly that damn quick.

And even before Pat Riley came over and lorded it over at Miami Heat, then Coach Stan Van Gundy was prophetic enough to tell Erik that he has the makings of an NBA Coach, so he's got to start thinking differently and open up his mind to that.  That day was indeed coming.  And Pat Riley frankly told him to 'take a couple of days to get your S-H-I-T together because the press conference was slated for the next Monday.  Today, hearing from all the pundits in the NBA, we can safely say that Erik Spoelstra had his 
stuff together since then, successfully drawing his line in the sand.

The formula of Erik Spoelstra's success can be credited on just 2 ingredients, namely, that JOB SATISFACTION and his RELATIONSHIPS at work.  Those are the icings on the cake that topped up his purposely 25 years with Miami Heat till to date.  What this tells us is that you can't have everything you want instantaneously, no senor.  There ain't any application for that.  Nothing is downloaded from Apps Store.  That end to end process towards achieving success will be agonizingly slow, meandering, uncomfortable and sometimes messy [when you get bruised along the way].  

But ooops, we're not done in sharing this insightful experience of Erik Spoelstra.  A few months ago, he got interviewed by the crazy basketball media from the Philippines and he was asked he can fly over back to Manila to visit his Filipino relatives and at the same time, host a couple of basketball clinics.  His curt reply:  so sorry, I want to take advantage of the summer break [from the gruelling year-round NBA calendar by 

spending quality time with his growing up toddler and new-born baby.  That's just the perfect manifestation of WORK-LIFE BALANCE.  Here you have a successful NBA coach and yet, at the height of his success, he won't give up the quality time he can spend with his family.

What this success story tells us is that we should feed our minds with everything POSITIVE.  We may seem lost because we're seemingly lost with the stress and noise inside us.  But as this poster goes, 'your mind is your garden, your thoughts are the seeds, you can grow flowers OR you can grow weeds.  Would you settle for the weeds in lieu of the flowers ?  Think about it folks. We gotta align.📌

OUT work, OUT grind, OUT hustle...

 OUT work, OUT grind, OUT hustle...

⏳To OUT work, OUT grind and OUT hustle are the very rules of engagement [in our lives].  To be fed by your talent, to be dependent from what you were bequeathed, to leave things to fate, these are rules of engagement that sets you up to fail [and that's guaranteed]. To OUT work means taking those steps beyond you can. To OUT grind takes you to that level where you almost drop. To OUT hustle drives your pace way beyond anyone else.

We're no Americans and we won't meddle with U.S. domestic politics, not by a ten-foot pole but say what you want, whether you're for the GOPs or for the Democrats.  The truth of the matter is that Outgoing U.S. President Donald Trump is the epitome of what it means to OUT work, OUT grind and OUT hustle anyone and everyone out there.  As a business mogul, he continued to build on the billions he inherited from the time he was born with a silver spoon.  As a politician, he went ahead of that crowded candidates during the GOP presidential primaries.  Everyone was left eating the dust.  And when he got to face Hillary Clinton, she fell flat on her face.  All because Trump OUT worked her, OUT grinded her, OUT hustled her.  Trump may have lost the last elections to incoming President Joe Biden but it cannot be taken away that President Trump remains as one of modern history's classic success stories who OUT worked, OUT grinded, OUT hustled anyone who got into his path, even along his trajectory.

American billionaire Mark Cuban, who owns the NBA ballclub Dallas Mavericks, said it all: "Work like there is someone working 24 hours a day to take it all away from you".  

To set things straight, to work doesn't mean working only for your current job.  Working encompasses anything that you gotta work for your family, your loved ones, their needs, their necessities, even their comforts.  That's how work can be all-encompassing.

Conor McGregor, the very successful Irish mixed martial artist and  boxer [who gobbled up tons of millions of dollars by picking up the gauntlet and fighting Floyd "Money" Mayweather] can be best quoted in pinterest [https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/809029520550579599/]:  'Doubt is only removed by action.  If you're not working, then that's when doubt comes in".  Well said.  This least surprises as when the MMA Manifesto [https://thesportsdaily.com/2020/01/19/conor-mcgregor-career-earnings-fox11/] states that 'with an earned ego the size of a small [U.S.] state one can only gawk in awe of his accumulated wealth' [a net worth of $150Mn and still going up by quantum leaps], McGregor is another success story.

Famous American Actor Will Smith is one of my fave inspirational sources.  He keeps on pounding the table to awaken everyone that talent will not bring you on to success.  It doesn't take you to be talented or gifted.  You don't even need to be the most intelligent.  You just need to take that unconditional full ownership of things, take matters into your hands, live a purposeful life, keep pursuing, just never give up, at all.  What is a NO-NO is to quit as long as you cling to these principles:  HARD WORK WORKS, decide on GOOD CHOICES and VALUE PEOPLE.

The fact of life is that there are NO SHORTCUTS to success, not by a mile either.  No pun intended but to get to that elusive success, there are only SURECUTS, not SHORTCUTS.  And there's this somewhat threatening and confrontational statement out in the market: 'WILL YOU WRITE YOUR OWN STORY ?  OR WILL YOUR LIFE WRITE IT FOR YOU ?  But when you want something as bad as you wanna breath, that's when you will find your way.  If there's an important NO-NO in life, dont go through life being a whiner, a complainer.  Even with the gloomiest clouds hovering up there, you gotta figure out the streak of light that will lead you to those windows of opportunities that may not knock for the second time again on your door. 

BTW, OUT working, OUT grinding, OUT hustling is not limited to us individuals.  Take the Miami Heat NBA ballclub.  These days where teams are built on tandems and triads of superstars, the Miami Heat is nothing but a rag tag team of players who OUT work, OUT grind and OUT hustle the rest of the pack.  They're no dogs.  They're the damn hungry dogs who would prey on the competition not at their level of intensity.  In a nutshell, success can even shape out of collaborative cultures such as the Miami Heat.📌

If You Do What is Easy, Your Life Will be Hard. If You Do What is Hard, Your Life Will be Easy

 If You Do What is Easy, Your Life Will be Hard.  If You Do What is Hard, Your Life Will be Easy

📕Hey dude, do you want to re-echo what Sponge Bob is boasting ?  That he's able to leverage on that alarm's snooze button 17 times ?  Whew !  I hope no one listens to this crap because seriously, this is NOT the way to start off your day.  Over and over again, even the Business Insider [https://www.businessinsider.com/reasons-to-wake-up-early-2019-5#youll-improve-your-overall-quality-of-sleep-5] and BBC [https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20190213-is-waking-up-early-good-or-bad] all scream the upside of waking up early as opposed to hueing the detestable habits of Sponge Bob.  

Further testament comes from Harvard Business Review [https://hbr.org/2010/07/defend-your-research-the-early-bird-really-does-get-the-worm].  This decade-old study attests that generally, our performance really peaks in the morning [those 'top performers' during the night shift are stories that are few and far in between].  But hold on, what's the fuss ?  Are we making a mountain out of a molehill ?  No sirs, this is no petty matter.  And lend me your ear for now.  The average millionaire wakes up at 4am.  Oooops are you about to protest, that you are not on the same league with those millionaires ?  Hence, do you wanna lazy up till your phone's battery conks out ?  That's pity of you.

Take it as gospel truth [even from https://yourstory.com/2017/04/benefits-of-rising-early?utm_pageloadtype=scroll].  "That very first hour of your day and how you spend it often sets the tone for the rest of the day and your life".  This can never be farther from the truth.  Just last Friday [January 15th], myself, my wife and my daughter did accomplish 3 tasks which we planned for that day, tasks which were no petty tasks [e.g. passport renewal, payment/settlement of real estate property taxes and even a well deserved 'make over' for my queen N princess at David's Salon !  If we didn't rise up that early, I don't think we could have accomplished that much.

But do note, when you set the tone, it could dictate the tempo, the tone for the rest of your life.  Bluntly, your trajectory can just either be north-bound or it goes down south, deep south.

Oh, excuses ?  Hands-down we're SMEs [Subject Matter Expert] on that, we never run out of tricks and cards from our sleeves when it comes to excuses, alibis and that deceitful easy way out.  When we become culpable, it becomes palpable that we want an easy way out.  And a thousand times you would blame everything that transpired the day before.  Oh, I had a grueling, tough day yesterday.  Oh, we had a marathon meeting with client.  Oh, I drove through a horrendous traffic gridlock in the metro.  But hold on.  Don't you want the best life on your own terms ?  Then, you gotta pay your dues to get there.  You gotta awaken the beast and the best inside you.  You have to decide not allowing the abyss to determine what you become.  Bluntly, that bed where you need to rise up can is a microcosm of your entire life.  STOP hitting that alarm's snooze button.  STOP finding an easy way out.  STOP putting off things for tomorrow.  You gotta live in the moment.  And that moment is today, as in today.

And do you want to remain a member of that 'snooze button crowd' ?  On their way to work, they already felt drained and drowned ?  And energy all zapped at SOD [start of day] ?  We hate to be part of that 'snooze button crowd', right ?  And early in the day, DON'T prepare yourself with that baloney, that volume of work caused you to be drained and drowned [again ?].  DON'T setup yourself to fail.  DON'T be the very architect of your failure.  Start and sniff your day with passion and with purpose no less.  And those are non-negotiable terms for you.📕

No Thanks to DOPAMINE, SmartPhones are 'Taking Over'

No Thanks to DOPAMINE, SmartPhones are 'Taking Over'

📵It doesn't matter, could be a Sunday or a Monday, a business day or a local holiday.  Our smartphones are literally taking over an entire generation.  And this is not straight from the newswires.  Trevor Haynes of Harvard highlighted this in his piece 3 yrs ago [http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2018/dopamine-smartphones-battle-time/].

📵We as parents, uncles, aunts, we all want to pamper our kids as much as we want and it's no news to hear and see during the last Christmas Holidays when children were gifted with smartphones.  Truly, they deserve to be pampered but have you heard of DOPAMINE ?

📵No less than Simon Sinek, the respected British-American inspirational speaker and author [https://simonsinek.com/] really loathed seeing phones in the corporate world wherein attendees come into the meeting room where their phones are right in front of them [and Simon Sinek says it doesn't matter if you turn your phone face down, it's still a no-no].  Why ?  It's during those moment right before the meeting when relationships are built with how's your kids, how's your car.

📵Back to our kids, the latest generation.  Why are they the toughest to manage these days ?  How patient are they ?  Nope, they are the most impatient generation ever.  How satisfied and happy are they ?  Yessireee, those smartphones will drive their happiness trajectory up because of notifications, likes, responses !

📵Without casting aspersion on the best intentions of the late Steve Jobs, Apple's architect and brains, today's generation are now a tough nut to crack in terms of satisfying them until.... the smartphone starts emitting notifications and responses to trigger DOPAMINE effect!

📵The lemonade blog [https://www.lemonade.com/blog/psychology-behind-phone-addiction/#:~:text=Our%20brains%20are%20designed%20to,aroused%2C%20motivated%2C%20and%20happy.] says it all.  It's called the 'DOPAMINE Reward Loop'.  And what's the ramification to our latest generation.  They have become the most impatient kids EVER.  What did drive them to become impatient ?  Blame it to the instant gratifications and happiness they always had, again no thanks to DOPAMINE.

📵What then is the antidote to all these ?  Let's pause.  Smoking, Alcohol, Gambling.  Age limits are imposed to curtail access to it.  But Social Media ?  The floodgates are just wide open, there's no let up.  So let's push for DOPAMINE Fasting and it doesn't mean depriving our kids to access smartphones, no senor.  It is simply managing, regulating, controlling its use.  Factor-in this pandemic and you could see both kids and adults spending 4-8hrs on average per day.  Things have just become too unwieldy !!!

BRICK by BRICK is the Way to Go

BRICK by BRICK is the Way to Go

🔔Welcome to another weekend respite, a break we all need if only to keep our sanity in the face of this gruesome pandemic.

Not to nitpick, I thought this time around I'll make noise with regard going back to basics, that BRICK by BRICK approach in life.  From our infancy till we get to raise our own kids, we were always taught about the building blocks in life and those building blocks all boil down to that BRICK by BRICK approach no less.

Supposedly, this is a no brainer.  You might even dismiss outright this piece because you know this BRICK by BRICK approach inside out.  But the $64 question is, how come a lot of things in our lives still fall apart, DESPITE of, INSPITE of our cognizance and awareness that anything in our plans need to approached in a BRICK by BRICK manner?  Where's the shortfall?

Hmmmm, sometimes there is a shortfall in our materials, in our capabilities.  Sometimes, we tend to do things 'on the fly', i.e. things become more ad hoc as we become dismissive that to PLAN is the very mantra for you to build onwards.

Over time, we have seen or heard of structures and even plain walls crumbling down to the ground.  And there could be other culprits but the mother of all culprits is the quality of the foundation.  All it takes is one weak link and it's 'game over', you'll see your bricks crumbling down to the ground pronto.

Take it from Robin Sharma, the famous Canadian writer whose bestsellers include the book 'The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari'.  What he kept harping is that its those tiniest efforts, those smallest bricks that will be crucial to build on your dreams.  DON'T take short cuts.  DON'T cut corners.  DON'T go for the fast lane.  Be methodical.  Be consistent and more than anything else, be FOCUSED in your activity at hand.  Once you compromise your focus, you can bet, your final output will go down on a skid.

The architectural grandeur of Rome Colosseum didn't just happen with millions of bricks.  Swinging over to the successful icons today, Elon Musk, today's richest billionaire who has overtaken Jeff Bezos was just an intern in 1994, straight from the university.  And when he attempted to go for the Ph.D. Program, he eventually dropped out but where is he now ?  Literally, he's at the 'top of the world' $$$

Yes, WHAT CAN BE DREAMED CAN BE BUILT but to cap this piece, let me say this LOUD and CLEAR, there is no INSTANT success.  The only INSTANTS are instant coffee, noodles and the like.  So, let's craft our dreams and build on it but these are NO-NO's.  DON'T pin your hopes on another factor beyond your control.  DON'T hinge on someone else's promises [even if it is cast on stone and signed off in print, those promises may NOT yet come into fruition.  Lastly, DON'T wait for that LOTTO jackpot.  Forget it.

A Gift and a Curse

 A Gift and a Curse

🎐We all cherish gifts and we all loathe curses but here's the catch, some things in life can be both a gift and a curse.  Take it or leave it, that's the stark reality.  How many times have we gave out all we can squeeze out from our own self, wanting to accomplish so bad that you'll really do anything even it means hurting yourself in the long run.  These are the very hallmarks of success stories in sports, boxing and basketball being the most common arena where we stumble across those sports heroes whose contagious discipline we always wanted to replicate in us.

So, I guess this is the last debate that can ever happen, debating whether our mind is both a gift and a curse because it really is.  That is our command center, our control tower and in our moments of turmoil, our mind is our very war room.  Even beyond the nerves which go straight to dictate both our behavioral and even our involuntary acts, we may be aware of just 5% of our cognitive activity and yet that doesn't undervalue the essential need for us to tighten our hold on our minds simply because of its very peculiarity that it can be either our 'greatest ally or our worst enemy' because most of our successes and even fumbling acts are all traceable to our mind.

This explains why we always end up full circle either lucid and coherent or the next moment be as confused and lost.  And the game changer or game wrecker could be a judgment call that bordered on being coherent till it tilted to become that incomprehensible and incoherent.  

How do we get out of this quandary ?  Let's go back to basics by always listing all the options we have at hand, comparing them 'apples to apples' and give yourself a deadline for that decision point.  When things are kinda iffy, sleep on it and when you wake up, voila, grapple with the variables and decide on it

Bottomline is, if you need to fix things. go and fix it because all that matters is that you gotta turn your life around.

Some lives are in limbo, some get stalled, some are in a 'state of stupor'.  Either way, you don't deserve that downward trajectory of your life.  You gotta do what it takes, even if it all boils down to taking a "U Turn", admitting your fault and rectifying it, in no mean terms.