[Where Possible] Let's NOT Take Things Personally

 

Very true, it is natural for us to keep wanting to be respected.  After all, we humans are social animals and numerous studies show that we humans are social animals and we want to be valued by our fellow tribe members.  WHICH explains WHY it is only natural that criticism can sting and somehow cause emotional pain on us.  And almost all studies till to date ended up with the same conclusion that criticism hurts📗📙📘

In various researches, criticisms that hurt were found to be NOT seriously offensive as many remarks were more 'off the cuff' ones rather than premeditated.  BUT psychologists tell us that if we find our feelings are hurt more often than not OR we tend to assume that some people do mean to cause eomotional harm on us, there is that likelihood that we ourselves are prone to taking things personally💚💛💜

BUT all the experts counsel us that instead of keep asking as to WHY people want to hurt us emotionally, let us face the music, face the mirror and let us drill and dice and figure out WHAT causes us to TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY?  Experts advise us that NEGATIVE SELF TALK is the #1 common culprit as we constantly tell ourselves that we are NOT good enough OR it's always our fault, so in the face of those 'ugly comments', we easily fall prey to negative things about us❎❎❎

UNTIL perfectionism creeps into the picture as perfectionists have a hard time WHEN others talk about their flaws as they have unrealistic standards about WHAT they should be.  Once we figured out the very root cause, an equally bigger question is HOW TO KNOW IF WE'RE TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY?  Experts advise that a typical scenario is WHEN we receive positive compliments BUT instead of appreciating it, we unnecessarily spend time finding for shortcomings of people😖😖😖

Our takeaway:  Take it from the experts, HOW can we veer away from ending up taking things PERSONALLY [most of the time]:

• DON'T depend on that 'STAMP of APPROVAL' from others
• DON'T believe & take to heart all those harsh comments about you
• DON'T lump your honest mistake to reflect as your character flaw
• DON'T develop that 'people pleaser' attitude as it may 'trap' you
• DON'T hesitate to say either a feeble OR loud 'NO', if needed

Lastly, allow me to quote the experts:  EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS PERSONAL, RARELY PEOPLE DO IT BECAUSE OF YOU AS THEY DO THINGS BECAUSE OF THEM [and NOT you]😡😡😡