Observing But Not Absorbing

 

Famous Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw was widely quoted:  "NEVER WRESTLE WITH A PIG, YOU'LL GET DIRTY AND BESIDES, THE PIG LIKES IT THAT WAY".  Exactly dude.  NOT to bad-mouth the pig itself, the parallelism here can be drawn with narcissists because studies show that they have that edge to control and influence their partner.  From an analogy, WHEN the innocent partner steps into the world of a narcissist, that is tagged as analogous to ingesting toxins.  And thinking logically, WHEN we drink something toxic, we may feel ill.  Similarly, WHEN we let the narcissist bring us into their world, experts tell us that likely we'll lose our emotional control.  Think about Observing BUT NOT absorbing📗📙📘

The thing is, we can ONLY control WHAT's controllable.  BUT that's NOT the point.  The perils here start to surface WHEN we end up getting controlled of something WHERE we can have the gumption to resist and even counter.  LIKE WHEN someone is throwing tantrums, you DON'T cast stone to a stone thrower.  It just DOESN'T work that way.  Best way?  Avoid it.  WHERE you are unable to avoid, figure out WHY you are being stoned at?  BUT for you to get dragged into it, with your emotions even showing up the ugly side, you can even end up as the culprit rather than the hapless and innocent victim at that😔😔😔

WHAT do the experts counsel us?   We are advised to kind of 'detach' ourselves from the antagonist and simply put, we are advised to watch and observe and as long as you can keep your 'safe distance', it will be far fetched to think that you will get dragged especially emotionally.  There is a clinical explanation as to WHAT happens WHEN we succumb to such a situation as we will end up unwittingly participating in that 'dysfunctional' interaction and end up losing control.  By then, we will be hard pressed to properly protect ourselves within the so called 'healthy boundaries'.  In essence, WHAT the messaging resonating from the experts is for us to end up in a 'healthy dissociation'.  As the old cliche goes, THERE ARE NO TYRANTS WHERE THERE ARE NO SLAVES.  Do we see the parallelism there???

Studies show that there is a big chunk of researches WHICH proved that generally, we struggle and end up instead succumbing to the clutches of the 'predator'.  HOW can we counter that?  We are encouraged to repeat an affirmation to our own selves LIKE 'I AM STRONG AND IN CONTROL'.  Blurting that one-liner will hardly help if you say it simply for the sake of toeing the line.  Instead, we are encouraged to repeat that affirmation over and over during those touchy moments.  By doing this, studies proved that 90% DON'T fall like a victim and instead, they remain in control and very much 'secure' within their personal boundaries.  Put it in another blunt way, there are NO manipulators IF NO ONE wants or allows his OR her own self to be manipulated❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  The toughest 'wild card' to deal with in our life are those emotions.  WHEN emotions start to fly and lord over us, things can go south pretty fast and quick.  HOW to counter emotions on the loose?  We are advised to keep an even tone, preferably in a low volume WHILE breathing deeply.  And we are advised that that is critical if we want to stay detached from the enveloping argument.  And it also helps to figure out HOW and WHAT's the easiest way for you to get and feel relaxed.  Some will light up a cigarette.  Some will take a shot of vintage wine.  And staying connected to our body will significantly help prevent us from absorbing those toxins that will only lead to perilous stress and worse, anxiety.  YES dude, let us endeavor to OBSERVE BUT NOT ABSORBING or getting ABSORBED💥💥💥