Do You Know Your 'CEILING' ?

Do You Know Your 'CEILING' ?

Oh yes, we all live underneath ceilings, especially the 'ceiling of our life'.  But the basic question is, are we all living, existing and working within the confines of the ceiling we now have at hand ?  It's common story to hear that someone gets stalled in life or someone's growth gets stunted, simply because of that ceiling, right ?  But the bigger question is, should we blame all these travails from the ceiling atop us ?  Really ?

This is our most common problem.  We seem to be so safety-conscious such that when we come across this 'GLASS CEILING' signage, we respect it so much even it means we will stoop down so that we don't get to hit the ceiling itself.  And that's our biggest problem.  When we define and co-exist with everything AS IS WHERE IS.  Who ends up as the loser ?  It's us no less because of our very misplaced notion that ceilings in life are there to limit our mobility and our growth.  No sirrrrs, that is a wrongly misplaced notion.  That explains why, for donkey years, many of us get stalled in life.

Why can't we redefine things.  Why don't we redirect our life's ceilings all the way up to the vast blue skies ?  Isn't that permissible ?  Doesn't that offer us enormous possibilities instead of remaining ensconced within the ceiling that extremely limits our mobility in life ?  By going beyond the roof, by redirecting our focus towards the vastness of the blue skies, isn't this a whole new ballgame ?

Yes sirrrrrs, if there is a 'game changer', it's breaking your own glass ceiling.  If you're financially strained, plot a financial recovery.  If your health is down, plan a health recovery plan.  If your work performance is near the gutter, turn around, wake up and prove to yourself that you can rebound from the abyss.  If your family relationship are in tatters, repair it.   Have a recovery plan.

One last point.  What could be stopping us from breaking our glass ceiling ?  Studies show that more than 80% refuse to take that extraordinary step of 'going beyond the roof' because of FEAR.  FEAR of failing.  FEAR of the odds.  FEAR of the pressures.  But hey, unless and until we overcome FEAR, FEAR will remain to be akin to that monkey who's always behind our back.  C'mon, let's aim for a breakthrough ❗❗❗

When Do We 'STEP UP TO THE PLATE'

When Do We 'STEP UP TO THE PLATE'

Not to blame us, most of us have this common mindset of being followers, passengers and bandwagon riders.  Few days back, I even egged my wife, asking her why can't she be in the driver's seat instead of me behind the steering wheel day-in day-out.  With all honesty, she retorted:  "IT's FUN TO BE A PASSENGER.  I JUST ENJOY THE RIDE, LOOKING AROUND, NOT WORRYING ABOUT THE TRAFFIC GRIDLOCK & WAYWARD DRIVERS".

And I did appreciate my wife's honest retort because that was a non-issue anyways.  But here's the BUT.  In life, we can't be just ONLOOKERS, PASSENGERS and BANDWAGON RIDERS.  You can be born with a silver spoon on your mouth but that just DOESN'T guarantee you of a successful run [in life].  From my early schooling [from the Parochial Grade School till High School], I'd admit that the majority of my classmates can trace their roots from the moneyed middle class [while my family was struggling as my mother was a typical lowly paid public school teacher.

Even if one were a scion of the Trumps and the Rockefellers, nothing and NADA will guarantee that the next generation will be as successful as their previous generations.  What does this all tell us ?  That we got to "STEP UP TO THE PLATE" because we gotta face the music, we gotta face the realities of life, we gotta roll up our sleeves and be hands-on.

From idlehearts.com, this hits the nail right on it's head: " YOU CAN'T HIT A HOMERUN UNLESS YOU STEP UP TO THE PLATE.  YOU CAN'T CATCH A FISH UNLESS YOU PUT YOUR LINE IN THE WATER.  YOU CAN'T REACH YOUR GOALS IF YOU DON'T TRY".

Through the years, I can bear witness to folks who were so COMFORTABLY CONTENTED with their laidback and passive lives.  Instead of going for the goal, he/she would want to hear from a close friend who's taking aim first.  Instead of applying for a job, he/she would wait for a close friend who will make the first attempt.  Instead of attempting to explore his chances to apply for an overseas work, he/she would want to see and hear first if another person making the attempt will succeed.  Nothing wrong to be a follower but it can't be forever.  We gotta STAND ON OUR OWN FEET.  We gotta WET OUR FEET.  We gotta kick our ass damn hard if we want to succeed in life.  Let's go and grind folks ❗❗❗

Are You a Whiff of 'FRESH AIR in a POLLUTED ENVIROMENT' ?

Are You a Whiff of 'FRESH AIR in a POLLUTED ENVIROMENT' ?

Let's face it.  The world we live now is not as it was fresh during the time of our early ancestors.  Literally and figuratively, the world we live in now is polluted no less but this piece is NOT about the environment.  This is all about how the world we live now where we are heavily wired and connected, such that information travels faster than it used to be.  Agence France Press, Reuters, Associated Press, they've become non-entities now.

Instead, social media has literally taken over our lives.  What's the commonality between that chef in the kitchen, that assistant in a church service, workers at work, medical personnel readying up things for a medical procedure/operation, a bus driver, name it.  They are all glued to their smart devices no less.  Even this pic looks fiction but do we agree this was a very common sight prior to this pandemic ?

Even friends and couples, in the middle of all the food servings, each one is so engaged in their respective smart phones.  Pre-pandemic, do you recall in the workplace, while waiting for the remaining attendees in the meeting room, instead of reaching out to each other, at least for those informal 'HOW's YOUR FAMILY' etc, everyone is just so hostaged to their smart phones.  Are we not living in a polluted environment now ?

Do we agree that we should not be shackled by social media as we have become willing captives ?  But that is not our biggest problem these days.  Instead, it's the flurry of misinformation, wrong information, fake news and peddlers of anything untrue via the proliferation of social media trolls. By initiating inflammatory and offensive provocations, it incites emotions on a big chunk of information that comes out in the form of fake news.  Of course, governments have crafted laws to put order in a chaotic and polluted environment but can any Tom, Dick and Harry quickly avail of pro bono legal services to right the wrongs via the cyber laws ?

I thought it's a welcome relief because NON-SMOKING is barred in almost all public areas.  But how about our cyber smoking ?  Don't we see ourselves as part of today's polluted environment when we lit our cigar [which happens once we grab our smart phone and get hooked to it even if we got more important things at hand ?  Can we be the 'FRESH AIR' in this polluted place ?❗❗❗

Eyesight vs Mindsight

Eyesight vs Mindsight

EYESIGHT and MINDSIGHT, we're all gifted with it but do we agree that probably 80% of the time, we tend to be more dependent on eyesight.  We take things at face value.  We peg a value to every reality we seem to face.  Why ?  Likely because it is so damn effortless.  In fact, you don't need to lift a finger because we end up taking things visually and literally.  

    So, let's buckle down to some basics.  EYESIGHT is judging by what you see whereas MINDSIGHT is interpreting what you see.  Unfortunately, many of us [and I'm guilty of these countless times in the past] are vulnerable to take the EYESIGHT path because taking that path is least difficult and in truth, it's so seamlessly effortless.  MINDSIGHT ?  Who cares ?  The misconception is you will be unnecessarily cracking brain on it. 

Life could be as simple as two cups of brewed coffee and how you handle it could go either via the EYESIGHT or MINDSIGHT.  Outright we could judge the brewed coffee whereas when you became conscious of the aroma, you could be dissecting the kind of coffee beans in that cup of coffee.  And a lot of crossroads in our life are frequently thought of via either EYESIGHT or the MINDSIGHT.  And that's when problems pop-up.

What separates the men from the boys happen in real-life EYESIGHT vs MINDSIGHT scenarios.  Let's g beyond the surface.  If a workmate or a loved one seems to have uttered words that seem offensive, take a step back and understand where he/she is coming from. Was he/she into a certain difficult situation ?  Was he/she going through frustrations despite all the efforts poured out to date ?  Before friction turns into a fire, you could likely 'nip things in the bud'.

As the Chinese Philosopher said, 'MASTERING OTHERS IS STRENGTH.  MASTERING YOURSELF IS TRUE POWER,'  This short and sharp lesson tells us that we should rather correct and improve ourselves rather than shift our focus for others to improve themselves. Obviously, improving oneself is more doable because you are in full control of things.

If you're in the service industry, true, customers can drive you crazy but hey, 'CUSTOMERS DRIVE' and it's for you to NAVIGATE.  Do what it takes to delight the customer📌📌📌

The Way to the Top is 'CONGESTED'

 The Way to the Top is 'CONGESTED'

Pictures DON'T lie. Who says the zenith is a deserted spot to go?  From afar, it looks like a 'NO FLY' Zone but climb over all to the 'top of the top' of Mount Everest and you would see that it's heavily congested, with climbers literally inching their way and endeavoring to inch their foot forward because it's the only proven way for you to get to the 'top of the 'top' of the world.

Climbing to the top, achieving the goals you have been nursing through is no mean feat because you could even set foot atop, the roads you trekked is littered with bodies and bodies of casualties, those who stumbled and really ran out of gas.  And BTW, in these times where everything is INSTANT from instant noodles to instant messaging, climbing up may take years and EVEN decades.  So, this is no overnight trek.  You don't pack up tonight and be there tomorrow.  BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.  It's an arduous and equally strenuous task to say the least.  And do you wanna know its 'icing on the cake' ?  Yesssss sireee.  Rivers of tears and sweat.  Deep thresholds of pain and frustration.  And to top it all, tons and tons of sacrifices that will lead you to scrape the bottom no less.

For around 90% of the stretches, it will be long, lonely and desolate climb where your only lifelines are yourself, yourself and yourself.  Not even your family.  Not even your closest friends.  Your external support structure can only help you so much but at the end of the day, it's you who needs to grind and grind the hardest.  If need be, kick your ass damn hard [pardon the hyperbole].

Not to despair though.  Life is not that brutally damn hard.  While you will have your 'pain points', there will be markers along the way, pointing you to your way to 'Mount Everest'.  But that's about it. Here's the catch. It will tell you WHERE the direction is but it WON'T and WON'T tell you HOW to reach 'atop the world'.  It's for you to figure things out because that's what is expected from us.  Every single thing in life is hard-earned

Here's the caveat though.  IF [and that's a big 'IF'] you manage to reach the top, let's set expectations here.  You'll be there so that you can see the world [and NOT the other way around].  In real life, many of us get drunk with success.  After savoring the fruits of one's labor, you get into frenzied celebrations that will end up only when the coffers have dried up.  LONG LIVE the 'short lived' success.  Let's move to the next goal post please.✅✅✅

Don't Wait for the Dam to Burst

Don't Wait for the Dam to Burst

This piece is not into geographical or spatial but more to run an analogy of those monstrous dams vis-a-vis our own lives. The infrastructure of dams were built for the long haul, enough to withstand even the worst scenarios related to AOG [Acts of God].  But in life, the expectations for us oustretch the longevity of all dams combined.

And no one would ever want to see the dams to burst.  We just cant fathom the enormous damage around us but that's another story for another day.  What's analogous to dams is our very own life.  As problems are part and parcel of our daily lives, it will be scary if when we are all burdened with just too much problems, as to how far we can grapple with our problems, it's for us to summon all our 'never surrender' trait.

The 'mother of all worst' things to come is this:  when we ourselves are running away from our problems because running away from it will never solve or close out our problems.  In fact, the same problems will linger and pester us until and unless we really get it closed. More than this, problems do get compounded, very much akin to interests of unpaid financial liabilities     herein penalties will overlap penalties.

Most common dilemma we share across all walks in life.  Problems get compounded.  Problems pile up.  Problems proliferate.  And before we know it, we are gasping for oxygen because we have fallen below our survival threshold.  Lesson here ?  Never let problems get compounded and never let them pile up, not for any reason.

More often, it's a domino-effect thing but all of it could have started with you having just one solitary problem.  Then it became two, then three, and so on.  Before you know it, problems were all over the place.  Why can problems get out of hand ?  C'mon, folks. STOP procrastinating and START prioritizing.  When there are one too many to prioritize at hand, go back to basic before tons of thoughts can overwhelm us, when things become so messy.❗❗❗

Why the Pursuit of Happiness Makes Us Unhappy

Why the Pursuit of Happiness Makes Us Unhappy

Who doesn't need money ?  Everyone does, right ?But can we have a consensus here that all those monies CAN'T and WON'T buy us happiness at all.  Obviously, there will be moments and milestones in life wherein we felt we have achieved the happiness we all wanted.  Graduating with honors.  Landing a plum job.  Going up the ladder of the organization faster than expected.  Settling down.  Driving our first car, albeit a second hand.  Having our own home, albeit it's basic and modest enough to start with.

But are we on the same page if I state categorically that our desires are just too insatiable, unquenchable, unappeasable and it becomes a vicious cycle we can't extricate ourselves out. We just momentarily savor those moments of happiness in a mundane and profane manner we humans are always known for.  When the excitement has dissipated, when the last kampai of the celebration has finally faded in the darkness of the night, we're back to where we were right at Day-1.

We don't need to dig up the archives.  Last year, the world's hitherto #1 billionaire, Jeff Bezos, divorced his wife.  Last month, Microsoft founder Bill and Melinda Gates announced their divorced.  You might argue but they are bigtime personalities hence we're aware of that but would you agree that there are hundreds of millions living in the poverty line who have divorced ?  So the social strata does not matter, after all.

When you are 'in the moment', that's fine but once the dust has settled down, can I bet my whole month's salary that in your pursuit of your happiness, you will end up UNHAPPY ?  That regardless of your milestone successes, those will just fleet by and when things get passed behind you, there you go again in that vicious cycle, grinding and kicking your ass hard as you continue to pursue the happiness you want.  Unfortunately, the GOAL POST KEEPS CHANGING.

Now, Charlie Brown may be nothing more than fiction but there is an absolute truism in what he says, i.e. "I THINK I'M AFRAID TO BE HAPPY BECAUSE WHENEVER I GET TOO HAPPY, SOMETHING BAD ALWAYS HAPPENS".  Even in my life, this happened a zillion times.  I was just ecstatic during those moments when I recently achieved or acquired something.  Once things faded, I was back to my ownself, figuring out to be happy [AGAIN]!

I may not be a Buddhist but one of Budhha's teachings is that our suffering stems from attachment.  It may be normal to desire things but our desires are endless.  If we make our own happiness or SENSE of SELF-WORTH dependent upon things going a certain way, then we are MISERY-bound.  The more we cling of what things should be, our misery will remain deep-seated.  Time for us to get out from the mud folks.✅✅✅

The Beginning is Always the 'HARDEST PART'

The Beginning is Always the 'HARDEST PART'

Who says the beginning is the easiest part ?  Who claims that you can just coast along at the beginning? Who declares that he hardly sweat at the beginning?  If at all, all of those statements are fallacies.  Yet, by no fault from us, people around us who are more our influencers are giving us the wrong signals, the wrong cue.  Not to blame them though.  Most of the influencers who'd reassure us to take things easy because the beginning is that easy, they can't be faulted because they simply want to egg us to motivate us.  They wanna see us to take off from the starting line because they wanna see us move forward.
 

We don't have to look farther.  Just look around us.  Ask our parents and immediate relatives, how did they start off in life.  They barely had anything to start with.  Barely a chair, barely a furniture or fixture, barely the basic drinks we need everyday.  Everyone starts from ground zero.  And if you start off at a snail's pace, can you anticipate how long it will take a new couple to finally come up with a simple house equipped with at least the very basics ?  It could take them years unless they exert efforts ten-fold.

Look no farther than the babies in our own families.  They all struggled every step of the way.  They tumbled.  They tripped.  They fell flat on their face countless times.  But after all the sweat and frustrations, we have seen babies finally running around on their own feet, and it's heartwarming, right?  Move over to the budding entreprs.  They could have tons and tons of financial chest to invest in a startup business but it takes more than just $$$.

But hold on.  Even assuming your coffers are overflowing, more than enough for the seed capital, all your talent and wealth may not be enough.  The major giants today all trace back their startup stories to successful tandems like MICROSOFT's Bill Gates and Paul Allen, GOOGLE's Larry Page and Sergey Brin. APPLE's Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, TWITTER's Evan Williams and Biz Stone, eBAY's Pierre Omidyar and Jeffrey Skoll.  We could go on and on.

Have you tried biking and you had to inject an unusual dose of energy within the first couple of pedals ?  Have you seen vehicles with the engines doubly working the hardest when on the first and second gears before they go full throttle ?  How about the ships, before they sail off, their engines work multiple more cycles before they steamroll !  And have we seen the NASA Rockets, at least on footage, when they get launched at the Houston launching pad, they burn thousands of liters of fuel before they fly on cruising mode ?  Back to the human race, we're never far different from the bikes, the cars, ships and the rockets.  Gotta kick our butts harder folks at the start, c'mon.

When The Last One 'BITES THE DUST'

When The Last One 'BITES THE DUST'

How often we were not at the top of the totem pole ?  How many times we were 'almost there but were not' ?  How frequent then success was within grasp till it slipped?  Indeed, it's nothing less than frustrating when we failed to 'bring home the bacon'.  Who wants failures anyway ?  Considering that the 'twin sister' of FAILURE is FRUSTRATION.  After investing so much time and effort that pushed up our expectations [sometimes unrealistically 'BEYOND THE ROOF'], we know how it feels to be down in the skids.  BEEN THERE, DID FAIL BEFORE [many times in truth] but again, such is life.  We were not born with that expectation that things will be a walk in the park.

Indeed, FAILING in LIFE is like a curse.  No one wants to be tainted with it but the truth is, everyone of us have endured failing and failing and failing over and over again.  What becomes crucial is if you have that intestinal fortitude to carry own, continue an agonizing journey that seems to drain and zap you under the scorching heat of the burning sun.

Surely, you know either relatives or friends who fell down seven times and they had to rise up from their bruised knees eight times.  No choice.  Hard choices in fact.  If you don't get back on your feet, everything will go down the drain, all the efforts, sacrifices and even the tons of failures you endured in the past.

Oh, this poster is verbose but I like this: "IF YOU WANT SOMETHING YOU'VE NEVER HAD, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING YOU'VE NEVER DONE".  These words are just too straightforward.  In blunt terms, this tells us that you've got to have that deep-seated fervor to take that extra step that will mean extra efforts coupled with extra frustrations after frustration until you could have inched forward.  You might wanna know, what happens after you happen to grab the fruit of your hard work ?  That leads you to expand your comfort zone.  And it becomes akin to that equation 1 + 1 = 2 because that moves you forward, even if it means you only inched up literally an inch forward.

Have we know some perennial laggards?  Those who are frequently at the tail-end, those who literally are 'eating the dust' because they are the tail-enders of the life marathon ?  If this hits you hard, we hope this wakes you up that it's never late to be at the top quadrant of the marathon because when you hit the finish line, you deserve more than just the dusts from the frontrunners.❗❗❗

That Inconvenient Truth

That Inconvenient Truth

Truth be spoken that often times, truth may be that inconvenient.  But what's alarming is that, in our human nature, we would rather be part of that mile-long queue for that REASSURING LIE instead of queueing up for that INCONVENIENT TRUTH. Why most of us tend to avoid that INCONVENIENT TRUTH like a plague is indeed baffling.  Don't we realize that by keeping our ear or eye shut off from that INCONVENIENT TRUTH, the truth that we need to know does not get uncorked ?

Let's lurk around our workplace.  If nothing is 'silent at the western front', we should be seeing tell-tale signs of the INCONVENIENT TRUTH. If you're work is not up to par, if your relationships with your bosses or your teammates are skidding down, if your client relationship does not seem to be rosy and healthy enough, you gotta queue over to see for yourself the INCONVENIENT TRUTH.

Let's swing over to our health, your health.  Why will we shun the INCONVENIENT TRUTH if our medical test results will confirm some symptoms of a potential illness ?  Do we turn our heads and smell the flowers instead of validating that INCONVENIENT TRUTH which later on when it worsens, it will not just cause a plain inconvenience but a sheer debacle in our health ?

It's true that the INCONVENIENT TRUTH is so intimidating, such that the weaker souls will easily crumble down akin to those dominoes once they get tipped.  But such is life though.  The wrath and fury of the incoming storm has to be faced and there's just no other way to escape from it except mitigate it.

To quote Retired Canadian Senator Douglas Everett: 'THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN A DREAM WORLD AND THERE ARE SOME WHO FACE REALITY AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE WHO TURN ONE INTO THE OTHER'.  So, folks, which chameleon are you ?  For the sake of your health, your welfare, your life, will you still insists to avoid and ignore that queue of the INCONVENIENT TRUTH and prefer to be part of the mainstream ?  It's never late to realize if you are off-track but you gotta wake up sooner than later.  C'mon dude.❗❗❗