Are We EFFECTIVE Enough?

Are We EFFECTIVE Enough?

Are We EFFECTIVE Enough?  Or are we so effective enough that this topic is NOT worth spending another 5-10 minutes?  Unfortunately, EFFECTIVENESS seems like a boring and dry word, devoid of the excitement that triggers human interest.  BUT while in the business world, inefficiency is monitored and quantified in almost precise numbers, in our personal life, WHO would take pains to collect and log our EFFECTIVENESS data on a day to day basis💵💴💷

The downside of EFFECTIVENESS is that it is more a buzzword that you'll often hear on the list of criteria prospective employers would look for when seeking a new talent.  It is also an attribute that is frequently linked to people WHO are that motivated, organized and know WHAT they want and consistently set out to get it📗📙📘

Now, here's my soft-selling. Understanding EFFECTIVENESS and crafting a plan to implement it in your life is really the best way to pursue both personal and even professional growth.  So, what really is EFFECTIVENESS at least from a personal context?  In the shortest words possible, EFFECTIVENESS means getting the best out of yourself no less❗❗❗

It is our approach to SUCCESS that entails utilizing all of our energy, skill and motivation to develop and reach the goals you pre-set for yourself.  WHY is this important?  It being a trait often linked to positive well-being, it will likely lead to a successful and fulfilling life✅✅✅

Please note that EFFECTIVENESS is NOT limited to our technical capabilities and skills.  It covers even our COMMUNICATIONS skills.  Do you know that at least 20% of the problems we face are either caused OR worsened by disconnects or lapses in COMMUNICATIONS between parties? So, what's our takeaways?  Develop your CONFIDENCE, understand your STRENGTHs and LIMITS, be OPTIMISTIC, be PERSISTENT, focus in fixing [and NOT just patching] problems and never stop in building your good habits in TIME MANAGEMENT and SELF-MOTIVATION.  All these encompass the EFFECTIVENESS we need to focus❗❗❗

When Transparency Comes At A Price

When Transparency Comes At A Price

I admit I am one of the most vociferous ones when it's all about TRANSPARENCY but this is NOT something we're preaching unconditionally.  There are always circumstances and situation When Transparency Comes At A Price and a classic case are your pre-set GOALS.  Thinking of sharing OR announcing your pre-set GOALS to others?  Think about the ramifications💴💷💵

Swinging back to my own life, I expect transparency whether it's at work or at home.  And I can assure you that I do WALK THE TALK.  But when and where my pre-set GOALS are concerned, I am adamant that I keep it closest to my chest, NOT even my BFF's, NOT even my trusted friends, NOT even my closest relatives are made aware.  In the first place, WHY should I be prematurely spilling my pre-set GOALS to anyone else📘📙📗

Common belief tells us that publicly announcing your GOALS increases the chances of SUCCESS.  WHEN you tell everyone that you're going to jog everyday, then you would feel the pressure of having to follow through on your GOAL, OR otherwise let everyone down.  At least, that's WHAT we believe so.  Early in life, I did that twice OR thrice.  After all, it feels nice to 'ANNOUNCE' all the things I want to achieve in the future BUT researches show that this action leads to results that are otherwise unfavorable to you📌📌📌

Studies and researches extensively covered this debatable action BUT the results confirm that those whose intentions were known tended to act LESS on their intentions than those whose intentions were left UNKNOWN.  So, what's wrong kind of 'ANNOUNCING' your pre-set GOALs?  Researches confirm that telling people of what you want to achieve creates a PREMATURE sense of completeness❎❎❎

Studies further show that when you write down OR think your intentions, there's a GAP between WHERE you are and WHERE you want to be.  The compelling need to close this GAP helps you to act on your intentions.  BUT when you let others know about it, the GAP closes because you [artificially] feel the same way you should after completing your intentions.  Indeed, this is WHEN TRANSPARENCY COMES AT A PRICE❌❌❌

Can We Be A BAMBOO In Life

Can We Be A BAMBOO In Life 

That bamboo out there is NOT one that captures interests or attention.  UNLESS we  are asked if Can We Be A BAMBOO In Life at all?  Are you a bamboo?  Maybe.  Maybe NOT but there are over 1,000 species of bamboo.  However, the story of the Moso bamboo is the closest to our own and has the most to teach us.  Most plants will begin to germinate in 1-2 weeks.  BUT bamboo doesn't even shoot after four years.  So, you're that bamboo, I guess💵💴💷

As the bamboo builds its foundations for the first four years, it still appears that it all came at once, it DIDN'T.  The seed was always growing , just beneath the surface.  BUT we didn't see that.  Our eyes lied to us.  Somehow we're blind to the reality of things.  We fixate on the wrong things because expect to see the fruition of what we do within a given timeframe.  If there is something we can pick from this, it's that we DON'T reap in the same season we sow.  The price we pay for this we allow doubt and disbelief to creep in📗📙📘

Then, we become fearful and begin to lose faith and give up.  If we DON'T see the shoots after long enough, that's enough for us to believe that the seed is dead OR deduce something went wrong and give up.  Ultimately, the bigger the building, the deeper the foundations.  The taller the tree, the deeper the roots.  We've all seen a construction site that suddenly becomes a full-fledged skyscraper✅✅✅

The thing is, you CAN'T trust what you see OR don't see.  Studies show that 90% of the time, there's more to see OR you CAN'T see what you need to.  You only REAP AFTER YOU SOW.  So you might ask, is it worth it?  The best-efforts answer is, IT DEPENDS.  WHAT are you trying to grow?  Your expectations have to be relative and proportional to your desired outcome❗❗❗

What's our takeaway here?  It's that the development time is proportionate to the size of the output.  If you want to grow a patch of grass, then fine.  You DON'T need to do much.  DON'T expect it to take too long.  BUT you CAN'T have the same expectations if you want to grow an oak tree, right?  If you want to build a tent, maybe in 10 to 15 minutes, you're done BUT that won't withstand a storm.  Rain and cold, that is NOT a long-term solution.  A long-term solution is a brick house but it will take 100 times the effort and time to finish it.  CAN WE BE A BAMBOO IN LIFE✅✅✅

Be Soft OR Be Stubborn In Life?

Be Soft OR Be Stubborn In Life?

Be Soft OR Be Stubborn In Life? No sirrrrs, NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL.  There is no YES or NO to this question.  We can be either SOFT or STUBBORN depending on WHAT is warranted, reasonable and just.  And the boundary that separates this HUGE DIVIDE is a very thin thread which sometimes sways and wavers to either side💴💷💵

Even the horse has its moments and reasons when to be SOFT or STUBBORN.  In the Third World, especially in Hispanic countries, it is normal to see a subservient horse pulling the rickshaw, all for the daily earnings of the rickshaw driver.  BUT there are times when even your most subservient horse can be that stubborn.  Figure it out before letting the horse bear the brunt of your harsh treatment📗📙📘

If you swing things to me, with alacrity, I'll swear that I'm as soft as the marshmallow when it is warranted BUT when shove turns to push, I can be as hardened as the stones and the concrete walls.  And many times, where principles might get compromised, I'll stand pat on what I firmly believe and looping arguments WON'T deter me till I gain headway✅✅✅

Either way though has its downsides.  Often, being SOFT is tagged as a 'bad thing' because it implies weakness, BUT people love SOFT things.  Beds, clothing, blankets, stuffed toys. We just DON'T crave for sharp edges.  What we crave is comfort.  BUT as humans, we're expected to be HARD.  To be TOUGH.  To develop a thicker skin and learn NOT to cry when life hurts.  And life does, inevitably, hurt❎❎❎

The world will sharpen our edges.  It's certainly sharpened mine.  It used to be I was a people-pleaser, NO THANKS to my culture who, generally, hates confrontation and I watched that quality taken advantage of time and time again.  My lack of boundaries was [wrongly] seen as SOFTNESS so I got tougher.  I turned them into sharp edges.  I learned a bit back.  Our takeaway today?  Consider giving the BENEFIT OF DOUBT because that gives both parties the mutual upsides as to when to be SOFT or be HARD and STUBBORN❗❗❗

When Do You Sharpen Your EDGES

When Do You Sharpen Your EDGES

When Do You Sharpen Your EDGES? All along, we are told that our EDGES in life will naturally sharpen as they get honed.  YES and NO indeed.    By the natural evolution of things, indeed we do get our EDGES sharpened but it could cut both ways.  I've known people with sharp EDGES but whose bluntness eventually losing its luster NOT by accident BUT because the incumbent DIDN'T leverage the EDGES of his sharpness💵💴💷

When we grow up, we began to discover our abilities, these things that we're capable of doing.  For example, we start to sharpening our skills to communicate, to draw, to write, and just a lot more of our interests.  In my own humble opinion, I believe the same thing happens in the professional area when we start to study at a university begin to acquire some skills, as time advances, we can improve them📗📙📘

Having said this, there is a notable difference between the skills that we improve because they are essential for daily life and those that we improve because we want to.  It is really important to recognize certain things, one of them is that as worker equipped with specific skills, there is enough room for us to improve on it and it's true it could be a little confusing to find on which to focus to continue working on them, for this, we must know ourselves and look for the aspects that we should improve📌📌📌

Word of caution.  If you are contemplating to be GOOD AT EVERYTHING, be cautioned as you might end up GOOD AT NOTHING.  That is NOT to cast aspersion on one's good faith and sincere intentions BUT I've personally known on first-hand basis more than a dozen people who had the BEST INTENTIONS but WHERE are they today?  Sad to say, they're somewhere rock bottom.  Really sad because I knew they had the BEST INTENTIONS❗❗❗

Any GUESS as to why even those with the BEST INTENTIONS ended up fumbling?  Simple.  They knew they had the EDGE, that capability but over time, through wear and tear, that EDGE does wear out, its bluntness losing out gradually.  Our takeaway today:  Your EDGE could be as sharp as ever today BUT you got to CONSISTENTLY sharpen it✅✅✅

What Can We Learn From FAILURE

What Can We Learn From FAILURE

WHAT word in the dictionary has been most associated with NEGATIVITY?  Yesirrrrrrs it is FAILURE.  Whenever we hear it, our mind, which has been conditioned is already sending some signals to our body that something NEGATIVE is coming up.  Through different networks, communications, advertisements or media, our minds get used to associating failure with a NEGATIVE experience.  BUT FAILURE ISN'T bad.  So, What Can We Learn From FAILURE❓❓❓

BUT the wisdom of learning from FAILURE is incontrovertible.  Yet, organizations that do it well are extraordinarily rare.  This gap is NOT due to a lack of commitment to learning.  And in the corporate environment, when a FAILURE hits their operations, tons and tons of man-efforts are spent as part of the post-mortem, never giving up in digging for the very RCA [root cause analysis].  BUT hey, many managers may be thinking of FAILURE the wrong way📗📙📘

To be frank, FAILURE is actually a necessary recipe in our life.  FAILURE gives us the answer we really need.  It gives us WHAT is wrong and WHAT is right.  Again, to forewarn everyone, FAILURE hurts and at times it can be that ruthless.  BUT it is pure.  It DOESN'T judge based on your physical looks.  Like nature, it is pure💎💎💎

NOT to piggy-back on this posterized quote from NBA great, MICHAEL JORDAN but looking back, I credit all my past failures for the successes I achieved.  I could NOT have done it any other way.  WITHOUT the past FAILURES I had to suffer the brunt, I would have NOT been able to help and touch lives.  WITHOUT FAILURES, I wouldn't be able to have the courage to pursue my goals and dreams.  I remember how ambitious my goals were✅✅✅

So, how do we manage FAILURES? Primero, ACCEPT whatever feelings and emotions you are now struggling with.  Remember that FAILURE does NOT mean that your life is going to be OVER.  And if you FAIL to learn from your FAILURES, that's a huge letdown as you'll be the sore loser for missing those LEARNED LESSONS❗❗❗

Whoever Taught Us INVERSION?

Whoever Taught Us INVERSION?

Whoever Taught Us INVERSION? I'm sorry BUT no one, not even in the Ivy League, were we ever taught INVERSION.  The fact is, typically, we think and solve problems in a forward-looking way, e.g. HOW do I have a good life?  HOW do I get out of debt?  HOW do I have a great marriage/relationship?  HOW do I get rich?  HOW do I get rich❔❔❔

Psychologists claim that it is NOT enough to think about difficult problems one way.  Which means we should look at and approach them both forwards and backwards.  Arising from their studies, they define INVERSION as the process of addressing problems BACKWARDS.  INVERSION helps us to uncover our HIDDEN BELIEFS about problems and allows us to avoid WHAT we ultimately DO NOT WANT.  It is much easier to avoid WHAT we DON'T want than to get WHAT we do want.  In the simplest words, FORWARD says 'HOW DO I GET X?' whereas BACKWARDS says 'HOW DO I NOT GET X'❓❓❓

Surprisingly, INVERSION was introduced long time back by Stoicism way back AD 63-65s by Augustus, the founder of the Roman Empire.  So, how do we use INVERSION?  The recommended simple 3-Step guide can be applied in different situations.  Firstly, DEFINE THE PROBLEM YOU WANT TO SOLVE.  Secondly, INVERT THE PROBLEM TO CLARIFY WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN and thirdly, AVOID WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN📌📌📌

In practical terms, let's look at small-scale investments we're considering.  A FORWARD approach is for us to ask HOW CAN I INVEST $10,000 and have a reasonable return of investment in one year.  By applying INVERSION, we'll ask ourselves, if I invest $10,000, how can I avoid NOT earning a reasonable return of investment from that money?  See the stark difference between FORWARD and INVERSION approaches❎❎❎

Now, walking the talk, allow me to share that I have been applying INVERSION in my life, at least for the past three decades.  By taking that pre-emptive step of figuring out pitfalls I can avoid up front, initially, INVERSION felt like unnatural as previous to INVERSION, I was used to confidently defending my own positions, NOT scrutinizing them from the other side.  BUT the more I explored it, the more I pushed myself to INVERT my thinking.  Let's walk the talk dude❗❗❗

Yes, You Can Take A Break BUT....

Yes, You Can Take A Break BUT....

We live in a cross-cultural environment [globally in fact] that values being BUSY, where HARD WORK means working long hours and working all the time.  How many times have you bumped someone on the street and you ask them HOW they're doing and they sigh and say, "OH BUSY".  So, indeed, being BUSY seems to be the NEW NORMAL.  And it seems that because of this, WHEN we're NOT busy, we feel like we're doing something wrong.  So, what's the antidote? You Can Take A Break BUT NOT FOR LONG.  Why do we caution you up front that your BREAK should be NOT FOR LONG?  Because I can attest I have witnessed many people I know first hand WHO went on a break that ended up as a sabbatical.  WHERE ARE THEY NOW???

BUT before you get so excited and start to arrange all your travel logistics, let's be proactive to ensure that your BREAK is NOT FOR LONG.  So HOW?  

CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN - This is NOT to say that you got to work 60 hours a week so you feel OK taking the next week off.  Instead, WHAT we meant is to do some planning so you feel more comfortable taking the time off.  Are there tasks you can delegate WHILE you're away so all that work ISN'T waiting for you WHEN you get back to your desk?  Can you enable your Outlook out-of-office?  Are there meetings or calls that can be rescheduled💥💥💥

It's true our brains love to feel being comfortable and in control.  A bit of prep work can help you feel a bit more confident that the world ISN'T going to end if you're away from your emails for a few days.  And moreover, it is imperative that at work, we should develop someone who will be our 2IC [2nd in command].  Preparing your 2IC to ensure his readiness will go a long way in keeping you calm and NOT apprehensive that in case you to take a leave off from work, there is a co-driver who will remain in the steering wheel, rather than grounding to a halt💧💧💧

GET YOUR BRAIN TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX - Remind yourself of the benefits of taking a break when guilt creeps back in. Culling from my past experiences, these are the 'low hanging fruits' I did reap through the years:

• My brain got the chance to REST/RECHARGE
• My body did rest as well and RE-ENERGIZED
• I became MORE creative if I'm NOT stressed
• My motivation had a 'shot in the arm'
• I was able to come up with trailblazing ideas
• Yes, I managed to achieve that work-life balance that was elusive for many years.  From that time on, I managed to give the quality time in my personal life, which for the longest time I was guilty of

Our takeaway:  DON'T take a break way far too long because:

1. You might lose the MOMENTUM
2. You will lose that enertia, for sure
3. You will lose the tempo that keeps you going
4. You may get misguided by spending more time for your REST [far way too long]

At the end of the day, WHILE we do deserve a BREAK from our frenetic pace in life, let us ensure that we get back and roll up our sleeves as soon as we got re-energized 😀😀😀

Bothered With OVER-THINKING?

Bothered With OVER-THINKING?

Bothered With OVER-THINKING? Or is OVER-THINKING not that bad, not worth our time today?  True, on the surface it seems there is NOTHING worrisome but hey dude, when we OVER-THINK, our judgments can get 'CLOUDY' and even your stress levels get elevated.  You end up spending too much time in the negative.  In the end, OVER-THINKING is difficult to act on💴💷💵

So, you might ask, can we avoid OVER-THINKING?  YES and NO.   YES if want to.  NO if we are NOT fully committed to a 'YES'.  So, where do we start?  That journey starts in our AWARENESS.  Unless we are AWARE, we can't even take the next first step.  In many cases, OVER-THINKING is caused by a single emotion spelled "F-E-A-R".  When you FOCUS on the negative things, it is quick and easy to become paralyzed📗📙📘

Next, let us DISTRACT ourselves into HAPPINESS.  Sometimes, it is helpful to have a way to DISTRACT yourself with happy, positive and healthy alternatives.  Things like mediation, exercise, learning a new instrument and other activities of interest can help DISTANCE you from issues enough to shut down that OVER-THINKING, OVER-ANALYSIS❎❎❎

As you start to get a direct handle of things, PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE.  It is always easy to make things bigger and more negative than they need to be.  The next time you catch yourself MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL, ask yourself how much it will matter in five years.  OR, for that matter, next month.  Just this simple question, changing up the time frame, can help SHUT DOWN OVER-THINKING.  And if there is something you must STOP PRONTO, STOP WAITING FOR PERFECTION❌❌❌

Waiting for PERFECTION is a 'big one'.  For all of us WHO are waiting for PERFECTION, we can stop waiting RIGHT NOW.  Being ambitious is great BUT aiming for PERFECTION is simply unrealistic, impractical, and debilitating.  The moment you start thinking 'THIS NEEDS TO BE PERFECT', that is the moment you need to remind yourself that you got to dump OVER-THINKING pronto☝☝☝

Which One Should Prevail: THOUGHTS Or FEELINGS?

Which One Should Prevail:  THOUGHTS Or FEELINGS?

Which One Should Prevail:  THOUGHTS Or FEELINGS?  Before we deep-dive into THOUGHTS and FEELINGS, let's align here.  It is HOW we see something OR someone and WHAT we think about it OR them that really influences HOW we feel.  It is our THOUGHTS and BELIEFS about an event that significantly influences our emotions and actions.  WHAT is quite perplexing here is to understand the co-relationship between THOUGHTS and FEELINGS.  WHAT really makes us feel and respond the way we do, is often NOT the situation OR the words and actions of another person BUT how we perceive that situation OR that person's actions.  It is HOW we see something OR thoughts and beliefs about an event that significantly influences our EMOTIONS and ACTIONS💵💴💷

It is often difficult to know exactly WHAT we are feeling and sometimes it can also be difficult to put it into words.  Now, things will get trickier WHEN we consider those 'AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS'.  Just as we are NOT always conscious of the way we walk OR how we drive a car, we are often NOT aware of our THINKING.  Some of our THINKING becomes so habitual in the sense that it seems to become AUTOMATIC, and just like driving, WHEN things are AUTOMATIC, we might NOT be conscious of them✅✅✅

Sometimes, our THOUGHTS become much more complex because at times we will have CONFLICTING THOUGHTS and that exactly is the kind of internal battle within us.  Internal conflicts or CONFLICTING THOUGHTS are often the result of frustration towards something.  Because you CANNOT choose WHAT to do and WHAT NOT to do, we often end up having two options on that thing📗📙📘

Thing is, there are multiple situations in our lives WHEN we particularly feel torn apart within ourselves.  We then feel confused, unconfident, upset over HOW our brain and heart have been at war at each other.  It then becomes quite too overwhelming to be the TERRITORY over which these 'TWO RULERS' fight.  Sometimes our HEART wins, and sometimes our BRAIN prevails✅✅✅

And when we have conflicting THOUGHTS, sometimes the situation tears us apart more.  This explains WHY it is imperative to know about these internal conflicts and to recognize them so that you can make the right choices and make it out of this 'horrendous storm'.  Quickly, the common causes of CONFLICTING THOUGHTS are DISSATISFACTION, LACK of TOLERANCE, LOW SELF-ESTEEM.  Listen dude.  A lot of times we find ourselves amidst a tough competition between various parts of ourselves.  We got to make the JUDGMENT CALL, dude❗❗❗