FAILURE is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS

FAILURE is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS

For the longest time, deep within me, I [very wrongly] thought that FAILURE is The Opposite of SUCCESS but after having gone through the wringer, the rough and tumble phases in my life, I am now doing a hundred eighty degree turn and instead preach that FAILURE is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS [and with my sleeves rolled, I'm more than willing to trade punches [a.k.a. PROs and CONs].  Truth is, FAILURE is very much part of SUCCESS.  When you realize that, you free yourself from that FEAR of FAILURE.  In life, FAILURE is inevitable and the best leaders learn from their FAILURE, that is a hardened fact.

Let that sink in.  When we get scared even on that slim probability of failing, we are likely to decide to make NO choice, NO decision, NO move.  When the "WHAT IFs" start to outweigh your momentum, you loose sight of your vision, period. To quote respected American writer Arianna Huffington [who's written 15 books [and still counting]] said: " WE NEED TO ACCEPT THAT WE WON'T ALWAYS MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS, THAT [SOMETIMES] WE'LL SCREW UP, UNDERSTANDING THAT FAILURE IS NOT THE OPPOSITE OF SUCCESS, IT'S PART OF SUCCESS.

If many us sometimes procrastinate, it's because fearing failure does breed that hesitation + procrastination.  Which is exactly what YOU DO NOT WHAT TO DO.  Because what separates dreamers and doers is that just that.  If you want to be a doer, if you want to create something for yourself, it's up to you to do so.  If you DON'T access that you may FAIL, you compromise your ability to be FEARLESS,

Indeed there's a balance between taking the plunge and blindly jumping to failure.  And just because you shouldn't fear failure doesn't mean you shouldn't try and avoid it.  Instead, you should aim to find the middle ground, create situations where you probably won't fail.  And even if you do, know that you will learn from it.  When you fall back down you not only need to get back up and try again, you need to get back up and try a new approach because FAILURE is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS

Whatever you do, DON'T fear FAILURE or think that FAILURE is the opposite of success.  Learning from FAILURE, and turning it into lessons, can ultimately make you extremely successful.  If only we can decide to get this one-liner embedded deep within us.  that SUCCESS & FAILURE are Siamese Twins.  FAILURE will lead you towards SUCCESS because it is Not The Opposite of SUCCESS📌📌📌

Sometimes, Your CEILING Could Be Someone Else's FLOOR

Sometimes, Your CEILING Could Be Someone Else's FLOOR

Sometimes, Your CEILING Could Be Someone Else's FLOOR.  Getting straight from this poster was what I did as soon as I came across this one-liner.

Indeed, there is a huge disparity between a FLOOR and a CEILING.  While the former may be the lowest point, the CEILING may be the very peak of things.  And that's when the huge gap between the FLOOR and the CEILING becomes very wide and huge, sometimes seemingly daunting for someone to even reconcile with.

Thing is, we are NOT entirely at fault when our goals are seemingly leveled with or near the ground.  Probably, we were not enlightened that that goal should not be that LOW.  So, when is our goal setting be deemed LOW?  IF it is easy to achieve, IF your probability to succeed achieving it is near 100% way before you started on it, IF that goal would have you hardly sweat, IF that goal will give you so much time to divert and dilute your focus by multi-tasking, IF achieving your goal is NOT your priority because it is achievable, these are tell-tale signs that your goal is AS LOW AS THE FLOOR.

In brief, while setting LOW goals is NOT that wrong enough, that should motivate us to MOVE THE GOAL POST as soon as possible.  Why?  Because we DON'T want you to be complacent and just so 'comfy', wrongly thinking that you can now be deemed as a SUCCESS STORY.  That would be the worst baloney, something you DON'T deserve at all.

Now, you might wonder, how come the world is littered with tonnes and tonnes of success stories.  From Elon Musk to the billionaire Russians to the business moguls from Wall Street and even swinging to the billionaire Indians alongside Mukesh Ambani, what sets them apart from us?  Tricky question but let's take a leaf from Elon Musk who's mantra is to keep working and NOT SLEEP until he gets his work done.  Success stories like Elon Musk should inspire us all and WAKE US UP from our deep slumber, thinking our CEILING is their CEILING📗📘📙

Be Like The Paddy

Be Like The Paddy

No sirrrrs, today's piece is not about farming or agriculture.  Not my turf hehehe.  But instead, we'd like to have a deeper appreciation of the PADDY AS IT BENDS[with HUMILITY] as it is laden with ripening grains.  Translated to our life, it would be worth looking back to those times in our life when we were at the peak of things, when we were basking in the light of our successes, be it the tangible or intangibles, how were we?  How was our HUMILITY when the sun was nice and dandy?

Honestly, today I was hesitant to have HUMILITY as our piece for today.  I thought it sounds BORING.  But hey, humility is interesting because it neither revered nor cherished.  Unfortunately, sometimes it is MISTAKEN for WEAKNESS because who wants to admit that they are NOT the center of their own world?  However, let's admit it that HUMILITY is a 'big brother' to PATIENCE.  

To exercise HUMILITY, the challenge is that it becomes INTENTIONAL because they DON'T come naturally to many of us.  And while HUMILITY is a simple human characteristic, it is very much lacking in our lives.  As we live in a world where it is "ALL ABOUT ME', from the upkeep of our appearance, our reputation on social media, self-gratifying behavior

and the obsession with money and consumerism, it is so easy to lose touch with placing others before ourselves.  With an astonishing rise in divorce rates and an increase in individuals choosing to be single, we as humans must go back to the very basics of KINDNESS and HUMILITY.  This Chinese Proverb says the same things about the bamboo how it bows deeper even when it grows much much higher.

BTW, it is NOT always "ABOUT YOU'.  To be humble, we need to value pther people and their opinions without indulging in SELF-PRIDE.  HUMILITY is the opposite of boastfulness and arrogance.  Often times we are so concerned with winning the argument and being right then we forget to listen to others just like the paddy, the bamboo📕📗📘

When The ROT Runs DEEP

When The ROT Runs DEEP

When The ROT Runs DEEP, what do we do ?  Too bad, most of us would simply shrug it off.  Sweeping it under the carper.  No issue.  No problem.  Nada.  But hey, that's a FAUX PAS to say the least.  But before diving into our lives, let's step back and ask, why does food rot?  Simple  That process of spoiling is a natural part of the life cycle of all foods.  And the biggest bonus about this fact is that we can VERY EASILY detect it either by smell, taste, sight or feel.  The same logic goes for fruits.  It's part of that given process of spoiling.  Now, swinging to our lives, why is it that sometimes, we would [finally] realize that there seems to be something that's ROT in our life?  Hey hey hey, before you react vociferously, having a ROT or two in our life [I had it way back before] is nothing to cover up.

Even if we are in the midst of preparing various dishes for a food feast or fest, we could engage all the best chefs in town but the ground rule is that NOTHING as in NOTHING should be ROTTEN in the food preparation, not even in any of the ingredients.  Why> When The ROT goes undetected, the whole dish will go awry.

But you might retort that our lives CAN'T be compared to fruits because it's NOT an apples-to-apples thing.  Yes you're spot on there BUT.  Can't we dive into our own lives and take an honestly critical assessment, running a SANITY CHECK if somewhere from within there is ROT somewhere, something that may worsen and just spread out and worsen?

Sometimes, when we talk about ROT, we have to look, find and detect the UNSEEN, the ambiguous parts in our life.  It could be our CHARACTER [where you are ending up with more UNFRIENDING in FB than forging real and genuine friendships.  OR something may be rotting within your SELF-DISCIPLINE such that your own mess is going from bad to worse.

So do we fix that?  Let's borrow a page from the fundamentals in woodworks wherein before they finally do the 'REFINISHING' to gloss things over, from within and from deep inside the rotten wood, that gets fixed, patched and 'cured' before the finishing touches.  In our life, when that ROT runs DEEP, don't let it go from bad to worse.  FIX IT.  ASAP.  At the end of the day, you will be at the losing end unless your ROT from within gets fixed with finality📗📙📘

8 Billion Population YET Loneliness Pervades

8 Billion Population YET Loneliness Pervades

8 Billion Population YET Loneliness Pervades???  Indeed it is perplexing to say the least.  And just two weeks ago, I read that our global population hit 8 billion, whew. Isn't it strange how loneliness can still pervade across different strata of our society  so as to probably lead us to ask ourselves, how can you feel ALONE in the midst of throngs and endless crowds across the globe.

Of course, it is NOT that surprising because loneliness is entirely  a matter of one's mind and sometimes one's own feelings.  You can feel yourself ALONE IN A CROWD of millions of people and even with all the entertainments and social media in front of you, loneliness DOESN'T want to get ended.  However, being alone and feeling loneliness are completely different things. Loneliness is a complete state of mind, an EMPTY SPACE inside the mind.

It is normal to feel loneliness when a person stays alone, feels unloved whereas loners NEVER want to be alone as they want to talk to others, they want to connect with others but their mental state is at a point where they can't get along with others.  They then search for emotional bonds. In fact, he who endured the feeling of loneliness can understand that it is burning, that it's exactly pain Now what causes loneliness?  Studies show that generally there is no specific cause of loneliness  that can be explained because sometimes that feeling of loneliness can come with NO REASON.

Studies have also shown that sometimes, our mind wants to be busy ALL THE TIME till it adapts to a certain flow when our mind does NOT get relevant work and the flow of life is disrupted  especially when there are sudden abrupt changes in life, then loneliness is MORE LIKELY to occur.  Now, can loneliness be dangeours?  Hmmmm, loneliness has a negative-wide impact on our mental and physical health.  It robs our sleep, hunger first and from there the body and mind get weaker.  

Now, can we STOP loneliness?  Yesirrrs it can be done.  First, DIVERT your attention.  Consciously change your thoughts.  And when that FEAR of REJECTION creeps in, overcome it.  At the end of the day, loneliness is NOT as bad as you think.  A momentary feeling of loneliness creates a vacuum in your mind which can become enjoyable if you can instill in YOU an urge to fill it❗❗❗

Quid Pro Quo

Quid Pro Quo

The first few times I heard Quid Pro Quo, I [wrongly] tagged it as part of the legal parlance.  Realizing that it is one of those 'REALITIES in LIFE, why DON'T we talk about it for today's piece.  Quid Pro Quo per se is good, legal and legitimate BUT here's the catch.  As long as there is GOOD FAITH and the intentions are morally and legally compliant.  Otherwise, it is ifffffy.

And while we can use this particular Latin Quid Pro Quo phrase anytime, when used in the workplace, it usually involves allegations hovering around harassment [and when it involves women, sexual harassment is not far fetched to happen].  But the tougher challenge is how the innocent protagonists can prove Quid Pro Quo as harassment?  Quite simple here.  When sexual favors get either expressed or implied, that discussion is threading really dangerous grounds.   And the pitiful scenario is when the offended party's reaction to such unwelcome advances would negatively impact pecuniary considerations.

A common question is:  are THREATS enough to prove Quid Pro Quo harassment?  Quite easy.  The person has to simply prove that his/her reaction to such offensive overtures negatively impacted his/her employment in some way.  So what's the fix?  Companies must create and maintain a written EQUAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY.

Literally, Quid Pro Quo is akin to SOMETHING for SOMETHING.  But in reality, instead of the QUID you asked for, you end up with the QUO.  It sounds harmless enough but it could lead to problems.  Years back when Ukrainian President Zelensky picked up the phone to talk to then U.S. President Donald Trump, the latter insisted there was no pressure but Zelensky did ask for a favor.  There you go, Quid Pro Quo

Too bad the digital devices have not tweaked the keyboard with GIVE & TAKE because that exactly is the digital equivalent of Quid Pro Quo.  Generally though, people DON'T attach strings to the favors they do for family.  But the further people get outside, the more complicated the favor becomes, even between peers.  At times, people may not even realize their own expectations for reciprocity.  And it gets infinitely 'messier' when there's 'POWER DYNAMICS' at play.  So, where Quid Pro Quo is into play, always ask ourselves: "AM I REALLY GETTNG THE SOMETHING OF EQUAL VALUE OR AM I BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGED❓❓❓

Working Long Hours?

 Working Long Hours?

Working Long Hours?  Before I get [wrongly] bashed for inciting things in the wrong direction in the workplace, this is NOT the intention of today's piece.  Rather, we want to figure out HOW you can still achieve the same results and deliverables without sacrificing your health, your sleep and seriously, sometimes, even relationships and the immediate family gets impacted too.

But all over, we all know that SLEEP helps us to learn faster and even improve our memory.  Digging back a 2016 study titled Psychological Science, it says that people who studied before bed, then slept then did a quick review the next morning NOT only spent less time studying but they also increased their long-term retention by approximately 50%. But there's an arguably even better reason to get a good night's sleep especially in today's RAT RACE.

The old school of thought did teach us that practice makes perfect.  And repeating the same tasks will lead you to be an expert.  Agreed on most points.  But going back to the long hours we toil, what's or who's the culprit?  Then this brings us back full circle to the dilemma of people who are sleep-deprived.  And the results of studies are alarming.  Because you could end up with worse ideas.  Because you end up worse to distinguish good versus bad ideas.  And worst, you may tend to be impulsive.

Are we to seek refuge on all the STICKY NOTES plastered all around our devices? Indeed it is a scary scenario when we are sleep-deprived because the CREATIVITY part in us gets lost out in the equation.  That means, while some people could be a little more creative than you, a rested and recharged YOU is a whole lot more creative than a sleep-deprived YOU. 

Creativity aside, getting enough sleep also makes you more productive.  Studies have shown that people who sleep for five to six hours are 19 percent LESS productive than people who regularly sleep for seven to eight hours night-on-night.  Those hard core 'sleep warriors' who get less than five hours a night MAYBE BUSY DOING LESS.  Won't you now dread Working Long Hours✅✅✅

Put Up With It

 Put Up With It

Oh, have you ever in that situation aboard your flight and here you are, fastened with your seatbelt but so squeezed by that passenger next to you?  Is that a problem?  Of course NOT.  But for that triviality, how would you handle that?  Simple. PUT UP WITH IT?.  Eventually when that airplane you're onboard finally lands, you can finally heave a deep sigh of relief.  But we won't waste our time on that.

This example may be more interesting though.  For us who have committed to our partners/spouses, definitely that 'compatibility thing is nothing more than BALONEY.  No such thing as a perfect couple.  You could be a gadget warrior but your spouse prefers to finish up at least two full movies in NETFLIX.  Or you prefer to spend the upcoming weekend in a restful way but your better-half prefers to go out of town, for some whiff of fresh air.  But how often do you need to  PUT UP WITH IT?  How often do you need to re-adjust and recalibrate?

Or you could be staying in a place where you DON'T have control of the occupants, people you DON'T know even from Adam and Eve. But do you know there are more sensible things to PUT UP WITH IT? Just as when you're enduring GRIEF and yet you can't figure out how it can CO-EXIST with JOY?  BTW, positive and negative emotions DON'T cancel each other out and you DON'T have to be done with pain to make peace for joy.

In fact, life's HARDEST MOMENTS can bring moments of such overwhelming pain that it may become hard to imagine feeling okay again.  Yet, a few hours later, you may find yourself laughing or perhaps even while tears stream down your face.  When and where HEALING is needed, it happens when we're realistic about how long our struggles may take.  

So how?  First off, give yourself PERMISSION to feel joy.  During HARD TIMES, we may turn away from moments of JOY.  You might notice yourself doing it that way because FEELING HAPPY makes you feel bad about 'moving on' from something or someone important.  OR you may be FEELING GOOD while others are still struggling and that may you feel guilty. These types of thoughts and feelings are indeed common but not especially fair, right?  Having MOMENTS of JOY doesn't invalidate the depth of your pain or mean you less care less. Thing is, many things in life are there for us to accept and PUT UP WITH IT📗📘📙

Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life?

Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life?

Have you ever contemplated if it's about Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life?  Probably not.  But if you have been through more DOWNs than UPs, when you are more frequent going down south deeper and deeper rather than going north, when you seem to have aged twice your chronological age or when all the struggles you have been enduring in your life [till to date] is taking its toll on you, your health, your family, your relationship or a combination of it, likely you need to seriously consider Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life

When struggles come, they hardly become a surprise anymore right?  Or have you been conditioned to believe that life is a struggle?  If you think it is, then this is what will unfold and if you DON'T, it WON'T.  But is it that simple?  Oh, we gotta believe that our life is the sum total of all our thoughts and beliefs about life.  If we were taught that life will be a struggle, every experience will be framed within that.

One prevalent misconception we often hear is that most sruggles are $$$$$$$ related.  True, financial problems will create other  new problems as a domino effect.  But in essence, most of our struggles in life are way beyond $$$$$$$.  And when sort of bad things happen, we can pre-empt such negative occurrences, expecting them to occur anytime you start thinking of it.

Sometimes [and probably many times], we tend to seek refuge in that cup of coffee especiallu when anxiety and stress creeps in.  Oh, have we heard "IT'S A DOG EAT DOG WORLD" ?  Or getting NOTHING for NOTHING?  Those do suggest an attitude of negativity and many of us DON'T realize how much that constant thinking will affect our quality of life.  When we struggle against the natural rhythms of life, we create that resistance that leads to STRUGGLE.

With struggle, there is NO joy and rarely any reward, if at all.  In fact, for some people STRUGGLE is a reward, whew!  They are a little lost without it.  And there seems comfort in what you know.  They end up struggling in life, sacrificing their own needs and ending up knocking off the day in bed with nothing but that feeling of exhaustion.  Then you end up justifying yourself by saying "THAT'S LIFE".  Really?  Now if you believe that life is meant to be a struggle, ask yourself how that belief helps you.  Does that make you happier?  I really seriously doubt it.  As this poster says, " DIFFICULT ROADS LEAD TO BEAUTIFUL DESTINATIONS".  Oh, it's Time for A 'SEA CHANGE' In Life❗❗❗

Mind Over Matter

 Mind Over Matter

Numerous studies have shown that we humans are an easily distracted species.  If I can't convince you right now, look around you, those folks holding on to their respective smart phones RIGHT NOW.  The irony here is that admittedly, we always longed for ways to really regulate our very own attention.  Mind Over Matter, that's the long and short of it.  I'd like to quote an extract from the Hindu Book which states our mind is "AS DIFFICULT TO CONTROL AS THE WIND".  I'd like to quote Michael Posner, a Fellow from the University of Oregon whose studies have shown that it's never a lost cause for us.  There are just two ways to train the mind.

According to Posner, his studies have validated that indeed people can learn to control their minds through practice.  There just seems a variety of ways to do such improvement.  'Mindfulness Meditation' was even introduced in some studies which proved that a month of meditation has altered the brain structure.  Along the lines of psychological studies, Posner recruited a group of smokers and non-smokers, randomly assigning some of them with tasks to make them more relaxed.  After two weeks, that 'relaxation' group showed a significant reduction in cigarette consumption.  This is Mind Over Matter no less.

That 'carrot and stick'?  That works.  It's not just another colloquialism.  Instead, those carrot things, those stick things, they really work.  But here's the not-so-secret formula.  There has to be CONSISTENCY no less because that is key for the Mind to prevail Over Matter

What amazed psychologists like Posner is that when there is a significant change in a person's behavior, that very person does not even realize that.  Why?  It's because the changes in their brain had given them more SELF-CONTROL without them realizing they were smoking less despite the fact that some of the reduction levels approached those of a quitter [in smoking]. This is another proof that indeed Mind prevails Over Matter.

Even that word I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E can be disproven and broken up.  Unfortunately, in life, our mindset stores a lot of IMPOSSIBLE stuff, leaving very little room for those that are POSSIBLE.  So, what pushes us to hurdle whatever is IMPOSSIBLE  All it takes is to recontrol those things n life that may be going way out of your control.  RECONTROLLING things is a must way before you think that Mind does prevail Over Matter📗📘📙