Of BELLS & WHISTLES
Is this worth our talking point today? Of BELLS & WHISTLES? Me thinks this is a topic that has gone so cold and unnoticed because on the surface, it seems mundane and probably one of the most boring topics ever. But hold on. How often do we see BELLS & WHISTLES? We ourselves how often do we hang BELLS & WHISTLES at various points in our life?Whether during our growing up years going into early adulthood till we found our footing to be on our own, do we not recall those moments where we need to put up all the niceties in life, those trimmings, those buntings, all to spruce up things and for us or our situation to look more alluring and probably attractice beyond doubt? To evoke pomp and come up with pompous events, those BELLS & WHISTLES were the very tools we wpuld tend to grab first. When we were fresh graduates from school and now job hunting out there in the market, do we remember all the BELLS & WHISTLES we would attach in our CV/Resume to window-dress it? Which BTW is nothing wrong. But the issue is often clouded deep beyond our eyes.The saddest part though is that after all the BELLS & WHISTLES and trimmings we would window-dress either our persona, our character or our life itself, deep inside are SKELETONS in the CLOSET. Really sad and regrettable. We would sometimes put up a happy facade but beneath the surface, we are either decaying or not reflective of what we are trying to project. So what's our lesson here? Let's be GENUINE and TRUE to ourselves regardless if there are BTW, BELLS & WHISTLES. Just DON'T put up a farcical facade📌📌📌No one size fits all. That explains why we're here, to share my 2-cents where it's worth it.
Thursday, October 20, 2022
Wednesday, October 19, 2022
Oversized EGO, Anyone?
Oversized EGO, Anyone?
Oversized EGO, Anyone? But hold on. Let us look back. How many conflicts and quarrels that were NOT resolved, all because of EGO? How many battles and war just spiraled out of control because of EGO? How many relationships eventually floundered all because of EGO? How many business enterprises eventually went for bankruptcy simply because of the oversized EGO of the entrepreneur?Tuesday, October 18, 2022
Tough To Say 'NO', Is It ?
Tough To Say 'NO', Is It ?
Do you have a hard time saying NO? Don't hesitate. Here's the truth: Saying NO is indeed hard. Let's admit it. There are ways to say NO but either we feel awkward or just afraid to hurt feelings or relationships. And sometimes, we're avoiding that GUILT feeling. But the mother of all question is: Is it really that Tough To Say 'NO', Is It ?But with that mindset that indeed it is Tough To Say 'NO', what has that brought up in us? Problems popping up when there should be none in the first place. Personal pressure from within, for us to resolve an issue that should not be there in the first place. Averting a financial crisis because you didn't say 'NO' to an earlier ASK is unacceptable.Not to save face here, I used to face that recurring dilemma wherein indeed it was damn Tough To Say 'NO'. Out of pity. Out from the soft spots in our heart. Out from our inability to withstand the pressure that envelopes around us. In some local settings, if you turn down and say NO, the local community will looked down upon you. And from a self-serving mindset, you would get worried 'WHAT IF I NEED HELP' in the future, to whom will I turn to?
Ok, let's go for the proven hacks to overcome that plight of saying NO. First off, you DON'T have to jump straight and say NO. How about saying NO much later? And why not craft this default reply: LET ME GET BACK TO YOU. Other proven safe clauses are: LET ME CHECK MY SCHEDULE AND GET BACK TO YOU. Or I'LL HAVE TO ASK MY SPOUSE IF WE HAVE ANYTHING GOING ON LATER. Or THAT'S A NICE SUGGESTION BUT LET ME THINK FIRST. Or GREAT, LET ME SEE IF I END UP WORK EARLY SO WE CAN CATCH UP. Seriously, adopting any of those responses should NOT be that tough, right?
Now sharing this poster though. These are polite but definitely firm responses. And more importantly, you will NOT end up in a bind for any of these responses because it shuts off any probability of you yourself giving in and caving in to undue pressure. And if it is at the workplace, you can ask people to email or send you an SMS [because it is ten times easier saying NO either via SMS or email]. If it's a close friend asking favor, give an acceptable 'counter offer'. Here's a caveat though. DON'T and DON'T rely on your 'LATERS' forever. And just DON'T lie. Once your 'LATERS; are all used up, saying 'LATER' again can just cause you to seem untrustworthy in the long run. So, it's NOT that TOUGH TO SAY NO, no sirrrrrs❗❗❗Monday, October 17, 2022
Thinking Things Through
Thinking Things Through
Hey, is this a good talking point today? Me thinks it is. Thinking Things Through is something that is VERY OFTEN glossed over [and to be brutally frank, IGNORED] by many of us. During your school days when you would receive a tongue-lashing from your parent, did you ever Think Things Through? I doubt it. When you and your partner/spouse were having differences of opinions and you proceeded to do it things your way, did you ever Think Things Through? When your entrepreneurial forays was hitting its rough patches and you were advised to re-look at things, did you ever Think Things Through?That's the sad part. Sometimes, we [wrongly] believe so much in ourselves. You would even blurt out "I KNOW, RIGHT?" Yes you knew it but how cocksure are you that what you knew then was right? Or did you just believe so much in yourself that you CAN'T go wrong? Or was it your ego or pride that prevailed over yourself such that you did not even give a lip service to Think Things Through. When a couple is hitting rough patches and they yell in unison, 'GO TO HELL', did they ever Think Things Through
Sunday, October 16, 2022
Optics Matter
Optics Matter
Today's piece has got nothing to do with optical or optometrists but instead, let's discuss about as to why in our life, why does Optics Matter. What people see. How they see it. What happens right before their eyes. How things transpire right in our naked eyes. All those are inputs which people will draw out before they arrive at conclusions and judgments. Truth is, many times, the conclusions and judgments of people about us could either be wrong, skewed, slanted or altogether wrong but do we fault and blame them when in real life, Optics Matter. And what they can bear witness, what they saw and the can attest with their naked eyes all will lead towards one's conclusion.We all agree that for visions less than 20/20, things are blurry not until they wear those indispensable spectacles. So we can't blame people once they get to be bespectacled, things become crystal clear and and once they draw conclusions, trust me, that gets embedded and cast in stone. All because Optics Matter.And even from afar. people can draw conclusions, no thanks to those binoculars. I really cannot blame people from sometimes ending up with conclusions that are less than 100% accurate. Why? Because we acted in ways that drew a different perspective. Because we manifested behaviors that were not aligned with what is the TRUTH. And worst, we blurted out words that reaffirmed the very Optics which all Matters.
Now let's play scenarios. What if we are NOT transparent. We are NOT expressive. We DON'T 'walk the talk'. What if we come out vague and ambiguous? What could be the end result? People will still draw out conclusions and judgments about us but either they will [accurately] judge us as either vague or ambiguous OR worst, they will end up with totally inaccurate conclusions all because Optics Matter.
So, to drastically lower the probability of us being wrongly judged, be YOURSELF, be TRANSPARENT, be TRUTHFUL. Let us NOT send 'mixed signals, saying one thing but doing another thing. Where possible, avoid words or actions where you will be misconstrued. And for the mother of all NO-NO's, never look HAPPY when you're SAD, never look PLEASED if you're DISPLEASED because Optics Matter❗❗❗
Saturday, October 15, 2022
When Things Get BAD
When Things Get BAD
No sirrrrs, we're not manifesting paranoia here but this is just to accept the harsh realities of life wherein sometimes When Things Get BAD, things can get really very UGLY. Of course, there are outliers wherein a BAD situation sometimes does a turnaround for the better but by and large, many BAD situations really get us buried deep in the mud. And what's the confirmed recovery rate when things turn BAD? Oh, studies confirm it's really BAD.If you ask me to look back those years when my situation was that BAD, I have to [sadly] admit that many things i remained stuck in the mud for quite sometime. And my woes didn't end there. Why? Because, things turned from BAD to WORSE [and sometimes to WORST] before I was able to extricate myself out from that treacherous mud.Friday, October 14, 2022
It's YOUR CHOICE
It's YOUR CHOICE
Allow me please to quote this poster verbatim because it says a mouthful but if I were to compressed it with brevity, I'd say.... It's YOUR CHOICE. Studies have shown that 70% of the time, what happens to our life is a consequence of OUR CHOICE[s]. You're blessed to be attending a good school because your parents chose to send you the best school possible. If your school is not a top-tier one, it was likely your parents' choice.Why do we hear repeating stories of drug couriers waiting for execution in Singapore or in Indonesia who are dead serious in implementing their drug laws? Simple. Those drug couriers ended up that way because twas their CHOICE, Why do we hear about despicable gang rapes in India? Likely it's because a foreigner-backpacker decided to explore India within areas which were hitherto NO MAN'S LAND even to local Indians.When I was at the crossroads, squeeze by utter cultural shock during my first months of stay in Singapore, it was my CHOICE to be there in the first place. And when I was struggling with the sizzling hot weather in Hyderabad, India, it was my CHOICE to be there in the first place. For those in the lower strata of society where couples are struggling to feed countless mouths in their family, it was their CHOICE to have those out-sized families despite their daily financial woes.All these will boil down to this triage between our THOUGHTS, our FEELINGS and our ACTIONS. This is the vicious cycle we are all caught and squeezed in between. And where does these all lead us to? It's to the consequence of our CHOICE. Desist from a thought or a feeling, I guarantee that you will be deviated from a consequence ahead.How can we avert a doomed ending? Let's revisit our thought processes that lead us to our CHOICEs. This is no rocket science. It's basic and logical thinking. Weigh down each option, compare options based on apples-to-apples, then take on that option that ends up with the upper hand. NEVER decide based on impulses and emotion because it is really YOUR CHOICE❗❗❗
Thursday, October 13, 2022
How Difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things?
How Difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things?
Is this worth our 'talking point' today? How difficult is it to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things? Supposedly this is a non-issue because it is jaw-dropping to hear us not being able to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things but trust me, this is not an evolving story but instead, this is a story that gets to repeat itself over and over again. Look around. Could be your close coterie of friends. Could be your relatives. Could be your business associates. Look around. You'll be surprised to see some of us struggling to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE things.C'mon, let's clear up this murky situation. Do we really have a problem to FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things? Or is the issue more of figuring things out if we are in control or NOT? WHAT IF as a student, your academic performance is going down on a spiral? WHAT IF at the workplace, you have been called for repeated one-on-one's?Let's sneak into the airplane cockpit. Did we notice that regardless of the number of times the svelte and alluring flight attendants would knock and walk-in to the cockpit, the pilots remain as 'cool as a cucumber', so focused in the multifarious tasks they are performing and/or monitoring. What makes them very revered and respected? It's simply because they have proven they can FOCUS on any and all of the CONTROLLABLE Things.Whereas, once the pilot senses that he is losing control of any of the triggers and/or events within the behavior of the airplane, the more they will deep-dive to dissect and figure out why previously CONTROLLABLE Things now look seemingly UNCONTROLLABLE. But when do things get murkier? It is when we non-pilots suddenly seem to have our life going down on a spiral simply because we are losing FOCUS on CONTROLLABLE Things
Now, do we feel overwhelmed sometimes? C'mon, we got to FOCUS on the CONTROLLABLEs. First off, we need to realize that we live in a 'VUCA' world a world full of VOLATILITY, UNCERTAINTY, COMPLEXITY and AMBIGUITY. For entrepreneurs,, the business landscape is just too volatile and increasingly competitive and over the long term, it may be unpredictable. It may seem on the surface to be a hostile landscape for anyone who wishes to start or build a business as there are so many shifting variables. So, let's not believe that it is that difficult to focus on controllable things, NOT AT ALL❗❗❗
Wednesday, October 12, 2022
The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU
The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU
Question: Do you know The 'BEST VERSION' of YOU? Surely you would quickly blurt out, 'OF COURSE'. But in reality, many of us DO NOT know as to what is our BEST VERSION. And why do we not know our BEST VERSION? Easy. Because we really DON'T care. We just DON'T give it a damn. Why? Because we are so cocky and confident that we know our BEST VERSIONBut honestly, many of us are oblivious of our BEST VERSION because whatever we are at the very moment, we will [falsely] claim that we already know our very own BEST VERSION but this is detestable. If we [wrongly] know as to what is our BEST VERSION, how can we ever improve ourselves by a notch or two when we are, seriously, fooling ourselves, falsely believing that we are that good, that perfect, that too optimized and efficient no less❓❓❓So, what else do we expect from ourselves if we are so drowned and damn impressed that indeed we are now at our BEST VERSION. I've seen students in the past who were garnering honors and the parents never got tired appreciating their children. And that led the poor children to think that they can just sit on their laurels. So what and where do they end up? Before they will realize it, they would be likely become the laggards in the rat race, eating the dust of the leaders . Indeed, what a sad turnaround of things.Oh, when you realize that you are already at your BEST VERSION, what else will motivate you? Nada, nothing, zilch. But the sadder fact about that kind of plight is the fact that the person didn't really mean to be at the doldrums but not to his choice, he is savoring the moments when he would hear that he is that good. So, why do success stories quickly turn around into classic stories of collapse? It's because people got so drunk with all the positives heaped all around him. But did he ever validate those positives being heaped on him? Hell no. That's our dilemma, seriously. We want to see and hear what we want while turning blind on everything else.As everyone wants to become the BEST VERSION of themselves. but few actually do it. We're our own worst enemies when it comes to achieving success, chasing our dreams, and living a life that's filled with passion and purpose. Some of us even end up as self-destructive without realizing it, and others are conscious of the fact but lack the tools or knowledge in order to improve. But no matter who you are, find your BEST VERSION
Tuesday, October 11, 2022
False Positives in Life
False Positives in Life
Supposedly, life is so simple, just X's and O's, nothing more nothing less. But alas, our life is such a topsy-turvy thing because that's when the inverted and the reversals would show its tail, further confusing us as to what is TRUE or what is FALSE. And this is where False Positives in Life would creep in. BTW, before we get waylaid with a 'to and fro' discussion, let us agree what False Positives really mean.While there is certainly something to be said for having a sunny disposition in life, it's also possible to to overdose on the sickeningly sweet nectar of platitudes such as 'everything is awesome'. Now, let's tackle that 'DARK SIDE' of the positive vibes [a.k.a. toxis positivity] and ow its overuse causes harm and leads to the very suffering it aims to quash. American author Mark Manson, 'EVERYTHING WORTHWHILE IN LIFE IS WON THROUGH SURMOUNTING THE ASSOCIATED NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE. ANY ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE THE NEGATIVE TO [EITHER] AVOID IT OR QUASH IT OR SILENCE IT, ONLY BACKFIRES. He further adds that 'THE AVOIDANCE OF STRUGGLE IS A STRUGGLE and the AVOIDANCE of SUFFERING IS A FORM OF SUFFERING and THE DENIAL of FAILURE is a FAILURE and HIDING WHAT IS SHAMEFUL IS ITSELF A FORM OF SHAME. Very well said.At work or in school, once you get an A+ rating, does that affirm that you are that GOOD? Not necessarily. In fact, that rating could be farther from the truth. And that is a classic case of a False Positive. A False Positive is a variable that tells us that what is apparent may be a fallacy, the UNTRUE. So when someone tells you in your face that "YOU'RE AWESOME", pause for a moment and challenge its veracity.Straight from my thought processes...
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