Being In The Middle Is Like 'PURGATORY'

Being In The Middle Is Like 'PURGATORY'

No sirrrs, today's piece is NOT about religionas I would remain apolitical and as impartial I can be.  But isn't this quite interesting to talk about?  That Being In The Middle Is Like 'PURGATORY'.  Not to worry, we'd like pick our brains and discuss more of many scenarios in life where we are being in the middle .  In life, we are rightfully expected to know what is BLACK versus WHITE, what is the RIGHT one versus the WRONG one.

Heard of fence-sitters ?  Yessirrrrs, they are those who figuratively situate themselves in the middle whenever there are two opposing views, two warring factions, two different schools of thought.  WHY can there be fence-sitters?   It's speculative but my safe conjecture is that these fence-sitters are either scared to take a stand or they do not want to displease either of two warring parties or they simply want to give it a shrug of his shoulder and not to be squeezed by two protagonists.

Exactly, we DON'T need fence-sitters, right?  It's true we encourage opinionated ones but at the end of the day, pardon my words but we got to have the 'balls' because by doing so, you manifest your steadfastness to stand up to what you sincerely and honestly believe as to what is correct and righteous based on your honest to goodness belief.  It's true that even our judgment call gets invoked here and it's no farther from the truth that sometimes, we end up with the wrong belief, incorrect opinion and misjudgments as long as we stood by 'our balls'.

Honestly, the worst in life NOT to happen is for us to manifest that "I DON'T CARE" stance.  It may look like a safe and conservative tack [so as you could avoid erring, if it happens you made the incorrect judgment call] but what will be regrettable is that someone with the "I DON'T CARE" will lose things by default.  You could end up 'HIGH & DRY" by being a fence-sitter

So, how should we NOT be a fence-sitter?  EASY.  First off, be consistently conscious that you are always entitled for your opinion and your judgments.  Secondly, do you want to be a non-entity akin to being non-existential?  We DON'T want to be stuck in purgatory, right❓❓❓

Anger is Like Money

 Anger is Like Money

Yesirrrrrs, why do we think Anger is Like Money?  Simple. When ANGER breaks loose like health, it's akin to those times when we were awash with $$$$ because those are very similar moments where either ANGER or $$$$ can ever be halted for a brake at all.  Those are parallelisms that could be as as close as they can be.  Go back in time when we were fuming mad, red-faced and with our blood pressure probably 'skyrocketing'.  What could have stopped you from ending up like a loose cannon?  Likely, nothing could have stopped you at all.

During those moments when that 'manna from heaven' was unabatedly falling down on us from the good graces, do you remember how we handled things?  Surely, everyone went through those spending sprees.  T'was like trying to recoup for 'LOST TIME' and once you were awash with money, the only order of the day was to 'go with the flow', popping up champagne bottles with all the pompous intent until the coffers seemed to have dried up so fast.

BTW. even oil rigs eventually dry up.  So are those $$$$.  So is ANGER. Eventually those heated moments will simmer down, the adrenalin goes down, everything that was boiling up would dissipate in thin air.  WHY?  Because that's the cycle of it.  Nothing just boils up in eternity.  And swinging up to $$$$, that is never in a bottomless pit as well.  Eventually, that will dry up.  So. what lessons can we pick up from all these?  Why can't we draw from our patience before letting either ANGER or $$$$ prevail and lord it over us.

Bottom-line is, let's go and COPE with ANGER. Having said this, COPING is much easier than done but if there is one thing that literally takes over our own self and persona is our EMOTIONS and when EMOTION takes over, it wields its power over you unceremoniously, throwing out of the windows your LOGIC and SANITY.  During those moments, REASON and PURPOSE are out of your lingo.  Instead, you seem all poised for whatever worst case scenario.  Let's just get back to our senses and come up to terms✅✅✅

Of Towels and Rags

Of Towels and Rags

There's really NOT a world of difference between a towel and a rag.  Both serve the basic purpose, that is, of drying.  But in the end, there are distinct differences between them to influence you whether you should pick up a towel or a rag.  And that's where we can draw the parallelism in life.  In one glance, a lot of things seem one and the same.  But you got to take a cursory look to distinguish where you're better off.
 

And FRIENDS?  Wow, this becomes more interesting, indeed.  Because I believe most of us have mile-long stories about FRIENDS and who's innocent to admit that there are FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS who won't waste a minute to turn their backs and recklessly abandon you when the going gets rough or if they perceive you to be in 'DIRE STRAITS'. How many of such type of friends have you had in your life.  Myself?  Good grief, I got a fair share of it but you DON'T need to scratch your head and start regretting or worst even blaming yourself because they're not worth your time.  JUST MOVE ON, dude.

Better still, let us be cautious when figuring out who's not a FAIR WEATHER FRIEND.  By the way, that is no easy task considering that the likelihood is, most of the time you got fair weather prevailing anyway.  So when is the best time to figure things out?  WHEN you're beset with a serious problem.  WHEN you are in a crisis.  WHEN you are pushed to the edge.  WHEN you feel like lightning did strike you. WHEN you are in near desperation.  WHEN you are just about to give up.  WHEN you're on the precipice of calling it quits.  WHEN all hell breaks loose.  And when you finally recover from all your senses, it would not take a ton of effort for the skies to get cleared, for you to distinguish who are your genuine friends versus the not so genuine ones

At the end of the day, generally we have modest goals in life, that is, to figure out who is/are the very BFF we want to treasure.  Next to our partner/spouse and our immediate family, we all agree on the value of the BFF we want in life.  BTW, how and when can you VALIDATE whether someone is really the real and genuine BFF you deserve?  They need to hurdle that TEST.

IF someone pours it all out for you.  IF someone gives up all his takes for you.  IF someone throws his WHOLE LOT for you. IF someone unconditionally does everything to extricate you out from that deep morass.  IF someone risks an arm and a leg for you.  IF someone stands by you throughout the whole nine yards, that's your man✅✅✅

What's In Store In 'HEAVEN'?

What's In Store In 'HEAVEN'?

Let me share this short anecdote I read from Quora under Jokes, Humor and Funny Stories as posted by Lynda Clarke:  There's this Catholic couple who met a fatal accident just before they were about to get married.  After which, they sat outside the Gates of Heaven and waited for St Peter who asked what do they need?  So they asked St Peter if they can get married in heaven?  St Peter was dumbfounded and retorted that he'll get back to them.  And while waiting for St Peter, the couple discussed the pros and cons.  WHAT IF things DON'T work out between them?  Will they get stuck in heaven forever?  After a long wait, St Peter came back and said, they can get married in heaven.  And of course they reacted, 'GREAT!'.  Then they asked St Peter, what if things DON'T work out for them in heaven.  Can they have a divorce?  Omgeeeee, St Peter was so red-faced and blurted:  'It took me three months to find a priest here.  Do you know how much time it will take me to find a lawyer here?!@#$%&

Here's the thing.  You can shop [TILL YOU DROP] what you want in life, from Harrods in the U.K. to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills but that's all about shopping but in life?  My gosh.  Man's wants and desires are just insanely insatiable.  Nothing can permanently whet our appetite.  After we devour one, we go for the next round.

 The thing is, go, get your one-way ticket to heaven or whereever but we are all in this topsy-turvy world where we are all caught up in a vicious cycle.  So, are you thinking as to What's In Store In 'HEAVEN' for your?  Forget it because that's a non-sensical question.  Whether we go your way or my way, we are into this endless cycle of wanting more after devouring some.  Many still believe that something is in store In 'HEAVEN'?

Now, why DON'T we just settle down as one of these bunnies?  They know their needs, wants and desires but they have put a cap on what they can ask for.  Why can't we be like these bunnies.  Grounded.  Pragmatic. Realistic.  Especially for some who got so damn intoxicated with those 'small successes', it is time to grab that parachute and jump it out from that airborne aircraft.  Why?  You got to be grounded.  You got to realize what you are fairly entitled to and when are you stepping in those margins of greed and selfishness?  And before you know it, you've reach so far as to become avaricious and until then, you might still be thinking as to What's In Store In 'HEAVEN'?  C'mon dude, let's be grounded❗❗❗

When Do You 'DOUBLE DOWN'

When Do You 'DOUBLE DOWN' 

In life, anyone who is forward-looking will always PLAN and STRATEGIZE.  Now, here comes the 'exciting' phase.  Once you hit 'ROADBLOCKS', you will endeavor to hurdle it but alas, not everything ends like fairytale storybooks.  Many times, we fail in hurdling such 'ROADBLOCKS' so that's when you may 'DOUBLE DOWN'.

If and whenever we hit such roadblocks, we either maintain the status quo by continuing what we are doing OR we  'DOUBLE DOWN' or even change one's strategy.  To keep the status quo or changing strategy are the extreme options but somewhere in the middle is our option to  'DOUBLE DOWN'.

 Alas, 'DOUBLE DOWN' is a familiar part of that lingo in the casinos not just at The Las Vegas Strip.  Simply put, to 'DOUBLE DOWN' means you continue on your tack and on your plan but you crank up by pursuing that same goal by taking a higher risk towards that goal.  That's why  'DOUBLE DOWN' is one of the most popular casino expressions.

But hey, DON'T get me wrong.  I am not inciting here everyone to 'DOUBLE DOWN' whenever you hit a roadblock.  As this poster goes,  'DOUBLE DOWN' on your strengths.  Figure out your best cards on the deck, your strongest strengths which you can leverage on as you  'DOUBLE DOWN'.  The worst blunder is when someone decides to  'DOUBLE DOWN' when he has ran out of cards to play, no strengths left to be leveraged on.

Let's look at a workplace scenario where you were flagged down for lapses at work.  Wanna 'DOUBLE DOWN'?  How?  Look at your strengths.  If you have proven yourself well with multi-tasking, why not volunteer to your boss in back-filling for a colleague who went on emergency leave?  Once you recover that 'lost ground', you can get back on track to be in 'good graces' with your bosses.  That may give you a NEW LEASE of LIFE ✅✅✅

When You're At The EDGE

When You're At The EDGE

Here's an early morning question for us.  How often do you find yourself AT THE EDGE?  May not be always, I guess.  But surely a few times in the past you found yourself in that predicament  When You're AT THE EDGE?  Could that have been averted or avoided?  Yes because sometimes, being AT THE EDGE happens to be a consequence of our decisions

Now, let's take out those freak accidents because obviously they are outliers.  But by and large, often times we end up being AT THE EDGE because of decisions we made in life.  If you're still in the university, maybe you enrolled in a one too many subjects, way beyond what you can COMFORTABLY handle.  If you're an up and coming employee at the workplace and you've been fumbling here and there, probably you just have TOO MUCH ON YOUR PLATE?

 So, what can we do [outside of those outliers] to avert being AT THE EDGE?  Most common antidote is to always challenge yourself if ever you will end up AT THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG  TIME. Most common culprit is ending up in an event where you are UNINVITED.  Who knows, you will end up given with a COLD SHOULDER by the event host?  So obviously, there's something we can do to avert all these.

Even for quite a number of problems on the road when you're driving, a good number of such challenges could have been averted if we were PROACTIVE enough to ensure our car is in a 'TIP TOP' shape for that long haul drive. And even if you really need to take that drive but your car's shape is kinda iffffy?  Then, if you're in the U.S., take that Greyhound bus instead.

 Oh, i'd like to borrow this quotable quote from Patrick Overton, one of America's most famous authors wherein he states " WHEN YOU HAVE COME TO THE EDGE, FAITH IS KNOWING YOU WILL BE TAUGHT TO FLY". In simple terms, you GOT TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE once you are AT THE EDGE, dude✅✅✅  

Those ROUGH PATCHES

Those ROUGH PATCHES

No sirrrrrrrrs, who says that LIFE is a JOY RIDE?  That's FAKE NEWS no less.  And if someone peddles that as a HALF-TRUTH, it could offer a slight semblance of truth when we make reference to the moments of joy, blissfulness and success.  But hey, that isn't the case even 80 to 90% in our lifetime.  Truth is, in our early adulthood, those ROUGH PATCHES could be somewhere 50%.

Oh, I like this blank N white poster.  It is what it is.  that those ROUGH PATCHES is life by itself and if there are no ROUGH PATCHES, then that is NOT life all about.  Life is a 'rough and tumble' game.  And those ROUGH PATCHES could go on long stretches were things can just turn from BAD to WORSE.  And that's where your mettle will be tested to the hilt till you beckon your inner strength akin to clutching on straws in an utter state of desperation.

And by the way, in life, we are NOT on our own.  Expectedly, we should have our life support structure, to whom you can reach out.  As John Donne wrote it up, 'NO MAN IS AN ISLAND'.  When you are in the middle of those ROUGH PATCHES,  reach out to your LIFELINE because they may need to extricate you out.  That is a worst case scenario we cannot just ignore.

On the other hand, life is not a combinations of travails and tribulations.  Life being a journey, you got to ENJOY THE RIDE.  When the skies are clear and the shine shining brightly, make the most of life.  Those are the phases in life where you could be achieving little successes here and there.  But after you reach a PIT STOP for a break, simply pull the hand brake but never STOP the ENGINE because life has to keep goin' and goin'.  That's the TRAP many of us get caught up.  We thought we can slacken and reduce our pace but life is a grueling rough & tumble journey.

So what's our fix for this?  If you can be your own LIFE COACH, take up that mantle of responsibilities.  Where you may be ill-equipped, figure out who   can be your LIFE COACH in life.  That could be your partner/spouse or your most trusted siblings. Truth is, you would need your LIFE COACH during those ROUGH PATCHES✅✅✅

Push Your CHIPS to the Middle of the Table

Push Your CHIPS to the Middle of the Table

No sirrrrs, please DON'T get me wrong.  I'm not egging you to fly over to The Strip at Las Vegas to try pushing your luck.  That's a stretch.  Instead, I'm referring to our very own CHIPS in life, our CARDS which for personal reasons, we often keep close enough to our chest.  The storyline here is that we all got CHIPS & CARDS but do we ever PUSH OUR CHIPS TO THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE?

I'm sorry folks.  We're not here to encourage you to ZIG and ZAG in life.  But the point is, regardless as to your standing now in society, regardless if you are still a student in school, or now a worker in the corporate world or a budding entrepreneur, each of us have our respective CHIPS & CARDS.  Those are valuable assets we should leverage on.

CHIPS & CARDS  are more than just commodities.  In terms of LIQUIDITY, they could approximate the liquidity of your real-life assets once you are able to translate the value of such CHIPS & CARDS.  Try keeping them closest to your chest and I can bet my lifetime of [limited] assets.  Such CHIPS & CARDS  would never 'grow' in terms of value.  In real life, you need every single CHIP & CARD to play on, to gamble on, to take the risk, albeit in a controlled and calculated manner so as to mitigate the risks at hand.   

If there are two words so close in terms of affinity, it is RISK and REWARD.  In fact and in truth, only three letters make those words unique.  Other than that, they are symbiotic partners running on the same direction because if you pick up the gauntlet and take on the challenge to take a RISK, you can end up with a REWARD

Simply put, NO RISK, NO REWARD.  And I can attest to that by taking a leaf from my hard-earned experiences in life [where many times in the past, I ended up BLACK and BLUE].  In all humility, however, I can beat my chest and attest that I would NOT have been what I am [modesty aside, I DON'T belong to the top tier] if I didn't PUSH MY CHIPS TO THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE✅✅✅

The TRUTH Remains Most Convincing

The TRUTH Remains Most Convincing

In this convoluted world we live in where technology lords it over with social media hovering all over the place, two pills which are difficult to swallow seem to force upon us that Number 1, TRUTH is here to stay and Number 2, there are multifarious versions of TRUTH.  WTF [pardon my jargoned expletives] but does this mean we go to live with MULTIPLE TRUTHS?

Hey, what does these all mean?  That we are to live with this and day-in day-out we need to struggle and get into that cycle of SIFTING TO THE TRUTH? But which TRUTH do we sift?  Is that our own version?  Our BFF's version?  Or the version of the nosy meddlers and intruders in the community ?  Or do we fall prey on SOCIAL MEDIA? When do we realize that the TRUTH remains most convincing?

Often times, things get stalled in an impasse when we grapple with a 'HE SAID' versus 'SHE SAID' conundrum.  So, how do we wiggle out of this vicious cycle?  Let us all go back to the unquestioned principle that The TRUTH Remains Most Convincing  and there is even NO 'close second' next to it because the reality is, anything could just either be the TRUTH or the UNTRUE.

When the 'human factor' gets injected in an equation, a murky situation just becomes 'murkier'.  Within the confines of your homes, the TRUTH should be more manageable but wait once you step out of your home.  From that point onwards, brace yourself to hear multifarious versions within your local community or even in your workplace or within your business environment.  Remain wary of 'whispered' TRUTHS.  You'll never know.

Even mirrors have caused more confusion than clarity.  Whereas before, we were just told to FACE THE MIRROR, you'll never know if the TRUTH gets projected when you FACE THE MIRROR. And if there is a 'wild card', that's social media.  Fiction and blatant lies can spread out faster than the speed of light via social media.  Let's keep this closes to our chest: The TRUTH Remains Most Convincing❗❗❗

Do OPPOSITES Attract Or Repel, REALLY?

Do OPPOSITES Attract Or Repel, REALLY?

Good day folks.  So sorry to confuse you.  Today's piece is neither related to science nor physics. Instead, Do OPPOSITES Attract Or Repel, REALLY?  Let me put things in the right perspective.  If we're dealing with magnets and magnetic fields, everything we have read and learned in school are all facts.  But for us to do a 'copycat' and replicate those science-based facts over to our human lives is quite a stretch.  In the first place, our human lives have never been part of all the theories that have been tested and proven as facts.

So, that's where the FAUX PAS really happens.  Our life by itself is a web of complexities and it can NEVER get simplified by X's and O's.  So, when we get asked if Do OPPOSITES Attract Or Repel, let's just give that question a thumbs down and let's proceed to the next question.  Why?  Because if it is referring to us, as humans, things are not as simple as being OPPOSITES or NOT.  Our life is the aggregation of all its complexities.

To cut the crap, all these claims of OPPOSITES as triggering attraction or repulsion is all part and parcel of the bundled fallacies and proven myths in life.  If you tell me now that a NEAT and ORDERLY person will be attractive and compelling enough to a MESSY and CHAOTIC person, I'll throw that statement out to the window right now.

For all those myths, I won't blink my eye to dump them off straight away.  Why?  Life is the equation that entails the variables to MIX & MATCH.  And when a prospective couple who's trying to spend time to know each other quite well enough needs to CHECK ALL THE BOXES before they can even sing HALLELUJAH !

In a nutshell, life is all about CHECKING ALL THE BOXES.  For a prospective couple, is each of them serious enough for a long-term commitment?  Or maybe one of them doesn't want a long-term window at all? Are both partners damn serious enough to settle down and start a family?  Or is there no BUY-IN from one of the partners?  Do OPPOSITES Attract Or Repel, REALLY?  Think about it folks❗❗❗