Rude Awakenings

Rude Awakenings

Why is it there's such a thing as 'rude awakenings' ? It's because we never expected such 'rude awakenings'  in life.  We never expected 'rude awakenings'  to even knock us off.  Lastly, we were never prepared for those sporadic 'rude awakenings'  in our life.  As a parallellism, 'rude awakenings' are akin to natural disasters caused by hurricanes, typhoons, tsunamis and earthquakes.  While we do know that any of those cataclysmic events will hit us hard one day, we just left things to fate, to destiny and more often, we left it to our respective governments to mobilize the disaster preparedness programs.

And that's the thing.  What compounds and worsens our dilemma is that with our very little or almost nil expectations of surprises springing up in our lives, we tend to set the bar so high when we are brimming much with a positive and optimistic outlook of things to come.  We seem to ready up our mindset of the best results, the best scenarios, the best outcomes only to end up as huge letdowns when results finally trickle in.  Such is our mistake that repeats itself over and over again.

Thing is, we are so caught up in our daily lives such that what catches our attention [and priority] are the basic routines happening day-in day-out like in this pandemic, we may be locked down within the confines of our homes but we've scheduled the next trip to the grocery, to the bakeshop, and even to the wet market.  Did we prepare ourselves if one of our immediate family members gets into a difficult medical situation ?  Did we prepare ourselves suddenly feeling penniless because the huge savings we amassed through the years suddenly dissipated in thin air, all because something unfortunate happened.

When and where are we hardest hit ?  Yes you're right, we're hard hit when we had to endure those difficult surprises in life.  Question is, how do we respond to such surprises ?  Its spelled as P-R-E-P-A-R-E-D because there's no other way.  By being prepared for a very remote probability, by bracing ourselves for the inevitable, we will be softening the difficulty of such surprises, that's all there is to it.

Those scenarios we dread, like the sudden passing of our loved one, the sudden illness a family member has to struggle with, the sudden financial hit we had to endure very severely, these are inevitabilities.  But it's never taboo to be prepared for such unknown variables in life.  Health insurance has been there for our picking every since. Hospitalization coverages were hitherto unknowns till of late.  Obviously there are a lot more that's force majeure but again, we just gotta be prepared, $$$ and otherwise. ❗

When Humans & Pets Interact

 When Humans & Pets Interact    

Apologies for this late posting today. It's been a tight day that was capped by visiting my first cousin and his family of lawyers.  But what enthralled me was not the success stories of my cousin's sons who have been consistently bemedaled academically till they became full-fledged lawyers.  But rather, I'd like to spend time to dissect the lessons we can learn from the interactions of humans and their pets.  Unfortunately, I'll bluntly state that not all people with pets can claim to have that appropriate level of interaction with their pets.  I still think that for humans and pets to reach that meaningful level, we as humans need to acquire that realization that the best cared pets can be as human as they can.  But it's not a twist of fate when we can have that 'human experience' from our pets.  In truth and in fact, it has got nothing to do with fate or its twists.

What insights can we pick up from the storybook success stories of humans and pets ?It all boils down to what comes in goes out.  Love begets love.  Care begets care.  Sweetness begets sweetness.  Feelings begets feelings.  Positivity begets positivity.  These are my insightful thoughts that vividly manifested during that short visit I had with my cousin and his family.  What this tells us is that everything starts from us, within us.  And what we give is what we get.

More than the love, care and concern, pets deserve the attention when it comes to their health and hygiene.  Note that we humans DON'T have a monopoly of vaccines.  Pets need it too.  Not surprisingly, when my nephew-lawyer called his papa from Singapore, the first reminder he gave his parents is not to miss the vaccination schedule of their fav pet dog.  How we give value to our pets is reflective of how we can expect to be valued by folks around us.

So, where's the beef ?  Hmmmm, we shouldn't look too far. Before we should be angling for the healthiest relationships with our partners, spouses and immediate family, the best validation of our fit is the state of health of our interaction with our pets.  If you're now reaping the appropriate attention from our spouse, partners and immediate family, credit should circle back to you because that says a lot.

And as much as we have witnessed how pets can be that intelligent, we should equally have the same expectations with our spouses, partners and family.  They are discerning enough and once there is a 'meeting of the minds', expect the spontaneous reciprocity between you and your spouse, partner or immediate family.  Point is, never belittle the capacity of others, pets included.  They could be a tough nut to crack if there is no 'meeting of the minds'.  But 'whenever the stars align', expect things to trickle-in with little effort expected.  Where there is a disconnect between humans, expect the same dilemma when we interact with our pets as well.  Just as dogs have been perenially tagged as man's best friend ever [long time before Faceook introduced that 'friend' function in their apps.

You may not believe this but it's a fact, even animals foster their relationships via team building exercises.  That explains that we humans have that exclusive opportunity to further foster our relationship closely [and that obsession, for lack of a better adjective] because we put forward our foot now will dictate whether our last step was good enough. From this day onwards, let us look upon our pets as humans as well, please.✅✅✅

Do You 'MOVE THE NEEDLE' ?

Do You 'MOVE THE NEEDLE' ?

So sorry if I confused you.  Although we're all locked in this pandemic and everyone is in the midst of the frenzied vaccine needs, this piece is NOT about Covid vaccines but instead, this piece is all about our lives.  To move the needle means how can our life be meaningful, be impactful. Either as a student, as a businessman, as a worker or even our home-based family members, we got to endeavor to "MOVE THE NEEDLE". To "MOVE THE NEEDLE" could only be achieved in various shapes and forms for us to be recognized or impactful enough in our respective landscapes.  If you are hardly noticed either in business, in school, at work or even at home, we gotta "MOVE THE NEEDLE".

To "MOVE THE NEEDLE", it all boils down to PERFORMANCE and that PERFORMANCE METER, we all want it to swing over to the far right, that solid green indicator to confirm its EXCELLENCE.  To "MOVE THE NEEDLE" means our criteria should be tough and stringent.  Any performance that ends up either as GOOD or AVERAGE is just NOT GOOD ENOUGH because it has to be EXCELLENT.

A FORCEFUL move.  An EFFECTIVE move.  A STIRRING performance.  A ROUSING result.  A POTENT approach.  Or any result that is IMPACTFUL or EARTH-SHAKING and no less than that.  Those are the barometers for you to "MOVE THE NEEDLE".  BTW, to "MOVE THE NEEDLE" doesn't need that you have to deliver things beyond your capability.  You just need to grind and near-empty your fuel.

Question:  Why is it that the biggest majority of outputs, performance and results fall within the periphery of someone AVERAGE ?  It's because many of us are contented enough with AVERAGE results.  That "AVERAGE" mindset really pulls people's performance towards the AVERAGE band.  Why ?  Some argue that that's enough to survive.  But if plain survival is our motivation, that's just not good enough from any perspective.

All these, however, will never be easy to achieve.  You want to achieve BIGTIME, you gotta grind BIGTIME.  You gotta have MORE, you gotta exert MORE.  No free pass in that fast lane of life where only the 'CREAM of the CROP' will excel and prevail.  Further, the element of time creeps in.  That tree will never bear fruit overnight.  You gotta nurture that tree day-in day-out till it's ready to bear fruit.  Frustrations.  Failures.  Pain.  Tears.  These are the common experiences you have to endure.  Once you're able to "MOVE THE NEEDLE", I'll rest my case.📌📌📌

How to Detect Roadblocks

How to Detect Roadblocks 

Not too long ago, detecting roadblocks was a no-brainer.  It was even a non-issue with all the effective signages prevailing in the yesteryears.  Not anymore these days though.  If the Google browser has introduced that 'incognito' mode, even today's roadblocks in life are mostly running in 'incognito' mode too.  You're left to fend for your hapless self, if you still can.

Unfortunately, in life, there are one too many roadblocks for us to hurdle.  Your family ties. Financial woes.  Health issues.  Woes at work, just one too many of them out there.  Unfortunately, much as technology has progressed, there were no corresponding breakthroughs that can become the human tools and aid in detecting up front these roadblocks in life.

So how do we go from here [once we hit a roadblock] ?  Much is expected from us to hurdle all the roadblocks in life but never miss that element of time as being the most consequential factor even before you're able to detect a roadblock.  You gotta manhandle it fully, totally, wholly.  And there's no easier way out, much as we want to extricate from a huge ball of fire.

Of course, AppStore and PlayStore won't be far behind.  Developers are fast-tracking roadblock applications but not to be cynical, fact is, technology can in NO WAY ever intervene where the human-factor needs to kick-in.  If your car headlights see a looming roadblock ahead, slow down, release your foot from the gas accelerator and just taper off.  

Remember, there's a lot more roadblocks in life not visible and undetectable even from those high-end drones.  Remember, big problems very rarely start as big problems.  A big chunk of big problems start off as a blip in the radar, that irritant you just wanna ignore not until it illuminates enormous light enough to keep you blinded.  So how do we detect looming 'roadblocks' in life ?  There are tell-tale signs to forewarn us of an impending roadblock further down the road.

No pun intended but instead of [falsely] clinging to the Waze Apps, be WISER instead of being a 'WAZER'. One too many tools and aids for us to anticipate those roadblocks.  Body language.  Handwritings on the wall.  Drastic changes should be discernible.  How do we validate our speculative guesses ?  Take random pulse checks.  Take a temperature check.  And BTW, random pulse checks won't lead you to those coined 'false positives' and 'false negatives'.  📌

Make Your Case !

Make Your Case !

To make your case does NOT mean that you're facing the bar of justice.  You can be a student in school, so you need to MAKE YOUR CASE to excel academically.  You can be a worker, so you need to MAKE YOUR CASE to stand out at work.  You can MAKE YOUR CASE when you're angling for a promotion at work.  You can MAKE YOUR CASE if you are in a conflict.  Obviously, MAKE YOUR CASE if you are involved in a litigation.

BTW, it's NOT just to MAKE YOUR CASE.  You gotta make your BEST case !  Palliatives won't be enough.  You gotta make a turnaround and achieve the goal[s] and result[s] you're angling for.  More often than not, the very root cause of our shortfalls in life is NOT because you didn't MAKE YOUR CASE but rather it's because you didn't MAKE YOUR BEST CASE. 

Which leads us back to this very old cliche.  Nothing wrong really for us to aim for the moon because while surely you'll fail, definitely you'll hit above ground and likely way beyond the tree top. Amongst couples, you may want take one approach while your partner is pushing for a different approach.  Quick fix ?  Each of you should MAKE YOUR BEST CASE, whoever wins, prevails.

BTW, at the core of all these is CHANGE.  And this poster says it all: 'IF YOU CHANGE NOTHING, NOTHING WILL CHANGE'.  OMG, I can attest to this a zillion times.  I have seen people who are passive and laidback, literally idle in his couch, waiting for the fruit to 'drop from the tree straight' down to him.  Year after, years after, what changed in that person ?  Nil, Nada, Nothing.

What's the magic word then ?  It's APPROACH no less.  Our APPROACH in life is at the very core as you run the course.  DON'T blame the economy.  DON'T point at global warming.  DON'T pass the buck to this pandemic.  DON'T put the blame to that mean teacher or to that tough boss because 'the buck stops on you', period.  What makes things smooth for a plane's landing at the runway, it's the APPROACH, period.❗❗❗

Are You at the End of the Rope ?

Are You at the End of the Rope ?

We can't ignore or deny it.  Throughout our iives, we are literally clinging to our rope.  And it takes consistent dexterity and focus to ensure you are in full control at every point within your rope.  Remember, our time to cling on to that rope is NOT UNLI.  Can't be UNLIMITED.  You DON'T scroll through instagram instead of getting on to your important tasks.  You DON'T put off work assignments until the last minute. You DON'T want to start dieting or exercising or saving money but repeatedly delaying it by saying 'I'LL START SOON'.  You DON'T want to go into business but till now, you're in RESEARCH Mode. You DON'T perform a task until 'you're in the mood'.

Remember, although we're clinging to the rope, we've got the 'WHOLE 9 YARDS' to navigate throughout our lives.  It's like we were pushed in a decrepit corner with no room to wiggle.  What compounds our problems is that we tend not to recognize the domain given us.  Instead, we look for the ideal circumstance, that ideal scenario and anything less than that, we tend to feel handicap, which is unfounded.

If at all, rightfully, we must have that gumption to hang on, cling on to the ropes regardless of the difficulties we face in life.  And when things become edgy, when you feel you are at the very edges of fate and at the precipice of your destiny, eke it out, extricate yourself from that deep morass.  Summon all the remaining energy and motivation that can kick-in.  Liken this situation to a rickety car struggling to drive up a steep slope so the driver has to fully step on the gas to fuel up things so that all cylinders will be 'on fire' even uphill.  Where you are half-hearted or hardly motivated, trust me, even your call will conk out in that uphill struggle.

Oh, i dread that, seeing that last thread, that one last string and fiber about to snap off.  Who won't get scared with that in the first place ? So what's the fix ?  Things shouldn't get stretched as to reach that last fiber, last thread, last string.  And what could be the root cause ?  Studies show that 80% of the time, procrastination is the very root why we have to reach that last thread, last fiber, last string.  No time ?  C'mon.  How about five minutes ? You can do anything in five minutes. 

 There is an 80% chance you'll continue working once you put in those five minutes but even if you don't, you're still five minutes closer to your goal.  And most importantly, you've taken one more step to breaking that detestable old habit of not starting things on time, on the dot.  There's just no tomorrow.  Just do today, do things right now where you can.  Lastly, you can have your family but it's only you who'll define your destiny.  📌📌📌

Wanna Be Happy? Make Others Happy

Wanna Be Happy? Make Others Happy

Yesireee, this rabbit says it all, happiness is all over the body language.  And this is one area where most of us [including myself in the yesteryears] may be somewhat guilty of, when and where personal aggrandizement was the norm of the day.  We used to be so obsessed with happiness to the extent that we ended up being self-centered and selfish because we [wrongly] thought that we would achieve happiness by feeding ourselves with everything where we wanted to be personally happy.  However, most of the times, whatever happiness we achieved, it was very fleeting, very temporary and very much short-lived.

And not to totally blame ourselves, we have to blame here technology itself.  Who else gave us that frivolous 'SELFIE' application.  With 'SELFIES' becoming more as part of our daily habits, unconsciously, we tended to be so self-centric, self-focused for that obsessed happiness.  Don't get me wrong, i love 'SELFIE' much but let us not be lost that that 'SELFIE' is sufficient for us to achieve happiness. Not at all.

The formula.  The solution.  It's never a complex thing.  We just need to literally switch from our own selves to other people, your partner, your family, your loved ones.  If we go back to SELFIE's, that's fine but let's pull in beside us our partner, our loved ones, our family.  Surprisingly, it will not take a gargantuan effort for you to exert if you want to achieve that happiness.  Once you see your partner smile, your family or loved ones smile, trust me, you would instantly achieve that happiness you were always nursing for.  And that is the beauty behind this cycle of happiness because it comes back to you in a very positive note.

If at all,  we just never forget that we always have that capacity to further scaling up.  To manifest that principle of selfless sacrifice, we should try planting trees under whose shade we do not plan to sit.  To accentuate on this, we can't be what we can't see.  On the other hand, if we see ourselves achieving happiness by making others happy, then that proves that we can be what we can see.

Self-importance.  Self-absorption.  Self-righteousness.  That intolerance.  Inflexibility.  Impatience.  Intolerance.  Incorrigible.  Self-conceitedness.   These are traits that are no-no for us to achieve happiness in good faith.  More importantly, when we see that streak of happiness from our partner, our family, our loved ones, trust me, that feeling to achieve meaningful happiness becomes doable.❗❗❗

Don't Give Up Your 'FARM'

Don't Give Up Your 'FARM'

We may not be living in the countryside now.  We may not be owning farms.  Not a problem.  Your FARM is your FAMILY.  In life, nothing is most paramount than your FAMILY.  Not any of your assets and properties.  Not even your job.  Not even your businesses.  At the very core of our lives is our FAMILY.  Once you give up that very core, sad to say, your life will crumble down to the ground because by then, the very foundational legs of your structure has collapsed.

This 'unknown' poster did catch my attention because in the shortest words possible, it tells us everything that does comprise the very legs and foundation of your life, that is, your FAMILY, your HEART. It could be the most petty thing or the most challenging issue at hand.  Brene Brown, a respected American storyteller summed it up that we need to establish that 'CONNECTION' because that will bind us to the very people where we will find the meaning and purpose to our lives.  That SENSE of WORTHINESS, that follows once we get that SENSE of BELONGING.  You can't spin off and go on that orbital route all by yourself.  By then, you will realize you DON'T have a purposeful life.

There will be episodes in our life where the horizons show you nothing but gloom, the darkness of an imminent super storm about to ravage us all.  Will you compromise or sacrifice your family all because of that impending gloom ?  No senor.  On the contrary, that should egg you more to dig in, grind harder and kick your ass damn hard, all for your family.

These days, especially in the First World, 8 out of 10 don't live in those farm environments.  But that's never an excuse for us to ignore the symbolic meaning of the farm.  And that farm is our family.  Break up the farm.  You'll end up breaking your family.  And in a snap, you'll be breaking up your life by then.  So let's dig deep into the foxholes even if all the cards are stacked against us.  NEVER sacrifice your family.  That's one of life's handful of NON-NEGOTIABLES, the others being yourself and your GOD.

Oh, this crap of sheet, this is no crap.  I found what's scribbled herein as very incisive, i.e. "I DON'T WANT SOMEONE WHO WALKS AWAY SO EASILY".  Well said. And I think the key word here is "SO EASILY" because this does NOT imply that walking away is a No-No.  What strikes the chord here is "SO EASILY" because quite many of us DON'T have that intestinal fortitude to be resilient amidst difficulties in life.  Bottom-line is, DON'T give up your FARM, NEVER sacrifice your family. not under any circumstances.📌📌📌

Crack the Code !

Crack the Code !

Have you cracked the code [in life] yet ?  Is it feasible to crack the code within our lifetime ?  Hmmmm, literally speaking, cracking the code is more than just rocket science because that brings us into those 'cloak and dagger' scenarios.  So let's just discourse about cracking the code of our life and let's not venture beyond that.

Indeed, on the surface, it's just damn tough to crack the code of our life.  Many of fallouts we know in our life must have failed practically all throughout their lifetime till their lives just gave up on them.  But again, our path walk may be riddled with potholes [or worst, planted with landmines] but never lose sight of the spot you fell or failed because you gotta rise up from that fall and pick up the pieces to trudge on again.

Let's do pick things up from this poster that if it ain't rocket science, then it should not be difficult.  Precisely, point taken.  C'mon, let's NOT make a mountain out of a molehill.

On the other hand, think of our life as a jigsaw puzzle.  You pick up clues here and there, piece things together but DON'T force a square peg on a round hole because that won't work.  Take the cues in life, pick up lessons along the way.  To quote Former US First Lady Michelle Obama, what is important is not your failure but it's what you do after that.

On the other hand, let's NOT over-simplify things here.  Let's NOT falsely raise expectations because we'll end up on the wrong side of the road then.  Let's accept that life ISN'T easy and it WON'T be easy.  You'll fall flat on your face many times in your life, till you become battle-scarred [and probably with lingering scars embedded within to remind you that you went through the wringer.

Put it this way, for our mutual alignment.  Life can be simple but it's NOT that easy.  You gotta learn things the hard way.  A lot of PAIN, SWEAT and TEARS will need to be endured even before you can inch yourself forward BUT.  And here's the BUT.  Once you have that breakthrough in life, it's like a well-oiled machine that will go in full throttle to move you on the fast last.  C'mon, let's CRACK THE CODE, figure out how you'll eventually succeed in life.✅✅✅

Are We Now Ready for the 'NEW NORMAL' ?

Are We Now Ready for the 'NEW NORMAL' ?

Are We Now Ready for the 'NEW NORMAL' ?  So sorry this could be toughest question which even myself I'm unable to spew out a clear and confident answer.  But as we're all in a bind now, we can't run away from this question because the end is nowhere in sight, not even that sight of a faint light at the end of a long tunnel.  Like it or not, we need to ride on this bandwagon for the long haul, wherever this might lead us to.

So, what's in store for us ?  Buckle down your seat belts as we reassess today's landscape and figure out what will be our DOs and DONTs:

DO tighten your $$$ [even if you're awash with it]

DO prepare for unexpected scenarios for $$$.

DO remain cautious when you leave your home.

DO keep your interaction to the barest essentials.

DO remain flexible to adapt to contingencies.

DO keep persevering & patient @ every step.

DO remain persistent despite setbacks you face.

DON'T be lax and loose financially.

DON'T be frivolous in your things to buy

DON'T be that optimistic of the unknown

DON'T believe every social media info

DON'T buy hook line & sinker any rumor

DON'T be picky if you got limited options

DON'T expect pandemic to be over soon

If we do care less about ourselves, think about the FUTURE, your children, your immediate nephews and nieces.  Nothing is more important than the upcoming generations.  If and where you got sufficient assets for your family, let us not be too confident that that will tie us up till the next generations.  

One fell swoop of this scary virus, whatever funds you kept and saved for so long can be gone in a wink.  Testimonies of families whose loved ones spent weeks in the hospital ICUs are tear-jerkers to hear.  I may not be the best messenger of FRUGALITY but if this is the pill we need to swallow, please do.  This is what the doctor ordered us to follow, no questions asked.  How you intend to translate FRUGALITY into concrete action will be your call but do take the best possible JUDGMENT CALLs no less.✅✅✅