Love Conquers All

Love Conquers All

The saying "Love Conquers All" might be known as a feel-good statement BUT really, selfless LOVE is everlasting and can overcome all.  Awhile ago, I came across the Quora post of Bruktawit Abebaw wherein Irish martial arts artist and boxer was sharing his love story with his wife:  "WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 8 YRS AND WE LIVE IN IRELAND IN A RENTED APARTMENT WITHOUT WORK📘📙📗

I DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE I SPENT ALL MY TIME TRAINING.  IT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM TO BE A HERO.  SHE BELIEVED IN ME AND DESPITE THE LACK OF MONEY, SHE ALWAYS TOOK CARE OF ME AND ENCOURAGED ME.  AND WHEN I CAME HOME FROM AN INTENSE WORKOUT, SHE WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME "CONOR, I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS AND IT WILL WORK.  AND NOW I MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS.  NOW  I CAN BUY ANY CAR, ANY CLOTHES, ANY HOUSE AND YET SHE DIDN'T ASK ME FOR ANYTHING.  I GOT THIS PLACE BECAUSE OF HER AND SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME AND SHE NEVER LEFT ME ALONE"

Some feel that because relationships founded by 'TRUE LOVE' can end from sexual incompatibility OR because familial bonds break apart over heated arguments that these words cannot be true.  The issue with this type of thinking is that it misses the invaluable lesson hidden beneath those postcard-worthy words.  It fails to comprehend WHAT LOVE truly means.  I was skimming through Quora.com and I stumbled across informal debates over the sincerity of one-sided LOVE.  Many posit that if you've been cheated on, it means LOVE WASN'T enough.  It's true, the person WHO cheated on their partner DIDN'T LOVE enough and neither did the person WHO COULDN'T forgive

WHY?  Because I heard it from idealists WHO proclaim that TRUE LOVE IS SELFLESS.  YES, this ISN'T a new concept either.  Quoting the famous American human rights activist Martin Luther King, DARKNESS CANNOT DRIVE OUT DARKNESS.  ONLY LOVE CAN DO THAT.  These words of wisdom ring loudly today as it did during the time Martin Luther King.  I may sound poetic and emotional here BUT the truth is, the value of LOVE [as a weapon] should NEVER be underestimated.  Regardless if we look at it from a scientific OR even Christian perspective, the underlying foundations point to this same messaging.  SELFLESS LOVE is everlasting and can overcome all [especially the inhumane actions that inhabit our world].  To quote a research I came across, 'THE CHARACTERISTICS OF TRUE LOVE ARE OPENNESS, UNDERSTANDING, NON-DEFENSIVENESS AND RESPECT FOR BOUNDARIES

Our takeaway:  So YES, LOVE CONQUERS ALL.  BUT are we capable of it?  Will we rise to the challenge?  I hope so.  BUT in a world that applauds self-centered tendencies-like excessive consumerism and rat-race competition, more than acts of selflessness, perhaps, we AREN'T off to a good start.  BUT our world needs us to be brave, to be kind, to be forgiving.  Our world needs us to NOT forget that hate forged in the past continues to drag us all into a deeper and darker hole.  If only we can consider to start climbing, towards WHAT we know in our hearts is the better way, we might be able to start anew💥💥💥

Why MEDIOCRITY Creeps?

Why MEDIOCRITY Creeps?

Embracing MEDIOCRITY goes against everything we were taught to believe in.  In fact, hard work has been valued across cultures on the belief that labor was inextricably linked with salvation.  The idea that anyone can succeed in life with enough hard work forms the very backbone of what DREAMS are.  True, the concept of DREAM has evolved over time as in the past, it was often associated NOT with material wealth BUT with furthering the common good, BUT as in the past, striving to be better always exists. BUT Why MEDIOCRITY Creeps???

True, WHEN we look back, things did evolve over time but the default DREAMS remain the same, owning your home, having a nice brand new car, and now, Apple never ceases to push the older iPhones to obsolescence with another upcoming model, and to boot, you always want that Xtra cash to spare for a real holiday come summer.  However, to pursue that in our society, anyone NOT born with immense wealth has to work for it.  So, it's least surprising that every culture lionizes hard work and worse, looks down on leisure.  And WHAT gets embedded within us is that, from an early age, we are taught that we can be ANYTHING we want to be, that with enough 'elbow grease', we can accomplish much more.  And admittedly, for the longest time, I did subscribe to this mindset.  So, WHO gets to be MEDIOCRE?  NOT if GREAT is better than GOOD❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Checking out of the 'GREATNESS GRIND' often requires a safety net that millions of those living paycheck to paycheck OR in poverty simply DON'T have.  It is one thing to tell someone WHO is already financially comfortable that MONEY CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS .  BUT WHAT about someone struggling to pay the rent OR put food on the table? HOW could anyone tell them to be content with less?  So, WHY MEDIOCRITY CREEPS???

WHY should we have layers in society WHERE some people have to work that hard and STILL live in dire conditions?  Alas, choosing MEDIOCRITY seems to be a privilege.  WHILE the poor and destitute has to work twice as hard as the typical Tom, Dick and Harry, the rest of society has that default privilege to grind half less than WHAT is needed by those at the lower strata😗😗😗

Our takeaway:  Let's face it.  It should NOT be controversial to say that life exists beyond work and achievement, that the way we've been taught to strive are hurting us, in fact all of us, BUT particularly those WHO are marginalized in our societies.  So, HOW can many of the less privileged live a 'GOOD ENOUGH' life WHEN the world ISN'T there yet?  WHY MEDIOCRITY CREEPS???

Is Life That Complicated?

Is Life That Complicated?

Is life that complicated.  My simple but perplexing answer is:  YES and NO.  It is COMPLICATED, no thanks to us.  And it is NOT COMPLICATED, again no thanks to us.  Really, the thing is, we make life COMPLICATED by keeping OVERTHINKING.  BUT hey, no less than the psychologists stated categorically that OVERTHINKING ruins you and that OVERTHINKING itself is NOT a mental illness.  So, Is Life That Complicated?  It simply means THINKING too much about something. And if we want a straightforward definition of OVERTHINKING.  YES, thinking in the past is OVERTHINKING.  And worrying about the future is OVERTHINKING.  That's the long and short of it dude📗📙📘

True, we live in a damn complex world.  NO thanks to mankind though.  Centuries back till to date, designs were pursued with the perspective to create the most attention-seeking product by adding WHATEVER grabs human attention. Ironically, research studies show that human attention is really depleting super-faster than ever.  And here's the number.  Our human attention span has now gone down to eight seconds.  Looking at things, looks like our societies are set up to push people right to the edge💢💢💢

BUT dude, would you agree most of us are just too busy to enjoy the 'business of living'?  One of the most unfortunate examples how even the English language is part of the complication is the way even words have evolved from being deeper to shallower.  WHEN I hear 'LEISURE', WHAT springs up to my mind is someone in a hammock strung between two palm trees sipping Tequila.  OR if NOT that cliche, then of someone engaged in a happy BUT intellectually undemanding activity like gardening or just movie-streaming in Netflix.  At the end of the day, I CAN'T help but to partly blame society itself for being so obsessed with work and output that WHEN we finally have time to slow down and think, we'd rather NOT think at all.  OR not to think too hard💦💦💦

Through the years, I did bear witness to one too many simple situations in life that spiraled upside down even overnight.  A child financially supported by the parents working overseas would end up spending close to ten years in his college studies?  OR a couple having a startup business and the cash register was clicking more often than expected so much so that they got tempted to beef up their manpower until one day, I saw them close their business abruptly💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Most of the time, we have our best intentions in life, unfiltered and unfettered by any other variables OR wild cards.  BUT along the way, WHEN new variables will get into the equation unexpectedly, we would sometimes end up losing a handle of the situation UNTIL things GO SOUTH, UNTIL things go awry, UNTIL we [wrongly] thought and felt that we were in full control of our situation WHEN in many cases, we were kind of in an 'auto pilot' mode.  WHAT most of us non-pilots are totally unaware of is that the 'auto pilot' mode does NOT guarantee safety because there are scenarios it CAN'T function.  So, IS LIFE THAT COMPLICATED?  YES and NO dude❗❗❗

If Your Dreams DON'T Scare You, They Are NOT Big Enough!

If Your Dreams DON'T Scare You, They Are NOT Big Enough!

Noted Liberian politician and economist Ellen Sirleaf has been bestowed of the best ever global recognitions one can dream of, name it, being the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient and the 2013 Indira Gandhi Prize and that's beside being listed as the 83rd most powerful woman in the world by Forbes magazine.  BUT If I remember her most, it's for this insightful and reawakening quote ever:  If Your Dreams DON'T Scare You, They Are NOT Big Enough!  If this DOESN'T floor you, that means something else which we leave it up to you then📗📙📘

To piggy-back on that one-liner, Ellen Sirleaf goes farther:  THE SIZE OF YOUR DREAMS MUST ALWAYS EXCEED YOUR CURRENT CAPACITY TO ACHIEVE THEM.  To me, this defies both logic and even pragmatism because all along, we are coached and mentored to do things which we are capable of.  Before you demand a MEA CULPA from me, please DON'T mix-up  the TO-DO things versus your DREAMS💦💦💦

WHAT this tells us is to emulate the success stories we all heard of anyway.  Name it, from Bill Gates to Elon Musk to Jeff Bezos, there's already an overflow of success stories to peruse.  At the onset, the commonality between these moguls is the fact that WHEN they started to DREAM [real] BIG, it was way beyond their capacity and capabilities.  Jeff Bezos and his wife started working right on their garage.  Elon Musk was a school dropout WHO had to seek a loan to start off things😂😂😂

Even Muhammad Ali, the loquacious but famous and respected world boxing champion is well quoted on this as well.  WHAT motivated him to pursue his dreams was the scary fact he admitted that his dreams of becoming a long-tenured world champion was scary to say the least.  BUT rather end up as dejected and demotivated, it became the very catalyst that drove him to full throttle to push himself to the limits [WHAT with those well publicized punishing training regimens he had to go through if only to push himself WAY BEYOND his capabilities].  NOT to belittle dreams like, to be an accountant, to be a corporate worker, to be a retail business owner, BUT again, to piggy-back on that refrain, IF YOUR DREAMS DON'T SCARE YOU, it will be safe to conclude that those DREAMS AREN'T BIG ENOUGH❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  By default, goal-setting is an invincible BUT permanent tenant within us.  IF you have NO idea WHERE you're going, you're NEVER going to get there, promise.  However, these audacious personal goals will help to mold us to become a more holistic person and eventually a leader either at work OR in life as an individual, a partner/spouse and parent at home.  In short, your goals should be audacious at the very least.  Ellen Sirleaf, the Liberian politician [who served as its President from 2006 to 2018] faced prison, death threats and exile .  YET, she NEVER gave up on her dreams to improve her nation in the face of all the overwhelming number of naysayers and setbacks.  Rolling back to your own personal life, your situation is NOT far from different because we all live parallel lives, with parallel roads.  IF YOUR DREAMS DON'T SCARE YOU, THEY ARE NOT BIG ENOUGH❗❗❗

Are You Willing To PAY THE PRICE?

Are You Willing To PAY THE PRICE?

I remember going through the transcripts of a recent media interview of Elon Musk WHERE he admitted that he works for hours and will call it a day ONLY after he completes WHAT he needs to take action [with RESULTS to boot].  My reaction to that was:  Is he NOT sacrificing his health if he ends up sleeping less than seven hours most of the days?  Does the end justify the means?  If so, Are You Willing To PAY THE PRICE📗📙📘

Just last year, we started plotting a 2-week holiday WHICH we expected to be grueling [if NOT punishing] as it will radically depart from our previous holidays WHICH which used to last up to a week.  To make things really that challenging, reviews told us that we should expect to walk approximately 30,000 steps everyday at the very least [that almost floored me because in our daily morning walks, rarely do we hit 10,000 steps].  BUT we asked ourselves.  ARE WE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE?  So, for the preceding months, we intensified our daily morning walks if only to ensure that we are 'near ready'  for that grueling sked😌😌😌

True, many people do consider the PRICE TO PAY to achieve success.  BUT as success has shown us, it has two costs, namely:  The PRICE to achieve success and the PRICE you pay after achieving success.  Been there, done that.  After I took that quantum leap by taking a super-duper major risk of trying my luck in Singapore [WHEN rarely it was tried by the majority], I [wrongly] thought that once I achieved success, that's the end point.  BUT I was grossly wrong then!!!

On the other hand, identifying the HIDDEN COSTS of success could allow us to even avoid succeeding at something that makes things miserable to us.  Call it BUYER'S REMORSE.  It's something we've all experienced at some point in our lives.  It happens WHEN reality DOESN'T meet our own expectations.  That's WHEN the thing we thought we wanted DOESN'T actually bring satisfaction OR happiness we thought it would.  BUT it DOESN'T just happen over a pair of expensive shoes, a fancy car or the latest iPhone model.  BUYER'S REMORSE can also happen even WHEN we achieved success.  Because it's NOT just the price we pay to achieve success BUT it includes that price we need to pay AFTER achieving success💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  WHAT gets clouded in this mini-dissertation is that sometimes, success can lead us to nightmares.  BUT one person's nightmare is another person's dream.  BUT should we ask ourselves "DO I WANT THE SUCCESSFUL VERSION" of where I want to be?  That could help us think through whether the path we're on is leading us to a destination we actually want because it's easy to focus on the prestige of 'ARRIVING' but lose sight of WHAT the day-to-day reality of success looks like.  ARE YOU WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE, dude???

How's Your Narrative?

How's Your Narrative?

If there is NO escaping [even if you are a Houdini clone] in life, it is the fact that we will have our own respective NARRATIVES [because that's a given].  How's Your Narrative?  WHAT's regrettable though is that many of us still think that, that NARRATIVE is the least of our concerns because it will play out by itself.  WHICH is absolutely true BUT WHAT we're missing is that we have that singular influence to craft and shape our NARRATIVE📗📙📘

IF we wasted every opportunity, IF we squandered every resource we had, IF we burned all the bridges in our life, YES you will still have your NARRATIVE but does it take any effort to speculate the kind of stuff in that NARRATIVE?  Should be almost effortless because everything will be spread out across the floor.  The next inquisitive question is:  Can we UNDO and REDO things all over again, if you want to polish off [OR even window-dress] your NARRATIVE?  Likely NOT dude because those opportunities did knock on your door [BUT too bad they WON'T knock for the 2rd or 3rd time at all]💧💧💧

We've witnessed fortunate people born with a silver spoon on their mouth.  Obviously, that gives them a significant head start in life.  And it's guaranteed that their NARRATIVE will start with nothing less than POSITIVITIES given all those circumstances.  BUT WHAT CAN'T be assured at all is that that narrative will play out similarly as its Chapter I did play out.  WHY?  Because each subsequent phase CAN'T be replicated💥💥💥

BUT WHY is it many do get caught up with this punishing conundrum?  Simple explanation is that very hardly the value of our very own NARRATIVE was given impetus at all.  Many will retort, like:  IT IS WHAT IT IS.  True BUT if I may challenge such retort, we would be squandering that chance to influence and shape our NARRATIVE even an effort that is as minor as it can be.  As studies did prove over time, the divide between SUCCESS and FAILURE would spread [on average] by a few percentage points.  And that's even happening in the U.S. presidential elections through the years [even as we speak now]❌❌❌

Our takeaway:  To be poetic about NARRATIVES, the form echoes in structure the thematic search in the NARRATIVE for something deep, profound at the very core of the NARRATIVE.  Window-dress?  YES you can but that square peg on a round hole will still surface because it just CAN'T be neatly mapped with the flow of your NARRATIVE.  HOW many times I heard people that they will GIVE IT ALL at the last mile, at the homestretch, which is laudable enough.  BUT WHAT IF right before the homestretch, you were gasping for air and eating dust from the lead pack?  HOW many HAIL MARYs you need to pray to turnaround your NARRATIVE by then?  You CAN'T pull a Houdini act dude😃😃😃

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries

Akin to exercise, meditation and even budgeting, Setting Boundaries is our most common YET unseen challenge in our every day life.  YET, it's a reality we need to face and take action, one way OR the other.  Even so, finding the time to change any of our unhealthy behaviors, learn and build new habits is easier said than done.  However, WHEN reality kicks in, SETTING BOUNDARIES is easier said than done📗📙📘

Truth is, SETTING BOUNDARIES is inevitable.  Between home and work, business and personal, friendship and business, financials and non-financials, academics and co-curricular, socials and civic engagements, counselling and discipline, these are the most common areas in our daily life where SETTING BOUNDARIES is a must do.  WHAT IF we ignore SETTING BOUNDARIES?  YES YOU MAY but brace yourself for the ramifications!@#$%?

WHAT we often miss out here is that understanding HOW to SET BOUNDARIES [a.k.a. setting personal limits] is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships.  Very recently, a colleague was about to leave our organization and in her last days of employ, she sent me an SMS borrowing a 'sum of money' for reasons I will not divulge here.  BUT I realized one thing, there was NO BOUNDARY that moment💥💥💥

It's true almost everyone know what 'BOUNDARIES' mean BUT quite a number DON'T have an idea WHAT they are, seriously.  True, literally speaking, BOUNDARIES are like property lines BUT in life, BOUNDARIES are NOT rigid lines drawn in the sand that are clear for all to see.  BOUNDARIES are a way to take care of ourselves.  WHEN we understand HOW to set and maintain healthy BOUNDARIES, we can likely avoid the feelings of resentment, disappointment and anger that may build up WHEN limits are pushed❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Before I get misunderstood whether I'm more for loose OR open BOUNDARIES, let's be 'spot on' for these tell-tale signs we're off-track:

• IF we get too involved with others' problems?
• IF we can't say NO to others' requests?
• IF we 'overshare' personal info [like in social media]?
• IF we seek to please others for fear of rejection?

In a nutshell, BOUNDARIES are healthy for helping you to identify and keep that space you deserve❗❗❗

Scarier DEEPFAKEs!

 

Do you need to be a DEEPFAKE expert to validate the authenticity of this picture?  NO sirrrrs, you can be a school grader BUT surely you can safely conclude that this is another DEEPFAKE simply because it is impossible for these personalities to be standing behind the official rostrum of U.S. President Donald Trump.  BUT otherwise, can every Tom, Dick and Harry be in the best position to validate all the possible DEEPFAKEs scattered all over social media!!!

Now, as DEEPFAKES become more convincing, there is now a growing risk of losing trust in digital content.  People may then become skeptical of the authenticities [except for the 'blind' followers and fanatics of personalities all over us].  Think about this, though.  The growth of DEEPFAKE material has been exponential with statistics showing that DEEPFAKEs online are doubling every six months❌❌❌

The scariest part of these unfortunate implications of DEEPFAKE is that it poses significant challenges to our society, from showbiz to politics to business.  Just to encapsulate the current impact to us all:

• POLITICAL MANIPULATION - DEEPFAKES have already disrupted political landscapes everywhere
• MISINFORMATION & FAKE NEWS - If there's a percentage of FAKE NEWS, will that make me believe more every BREAKING NEWS from hereon?

• PRIVACY CONCERNS - This is scarier because DEEPFAKES can be used for harmful purposes, like creating FAKE content featuring individuals WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT
• IMPACT to BUSINESS - YES, even the business world is NOT exempt from DEEPFAKES.  Think of possibilities like CEO impersonation to creation of fraudulent content

Our takeaway:  NOT to be an alarmist BUT what this subtly reminds us is to be Xtra careful, Xtra cautious and Xtra skeptical, if needed, WHEN persons OR entities you CAN'T trust enough will request for your personal information.  BTW, there are a thousand and one possibilities of a ruse scammers can come up for you to fall prey to these sinister DEEPFAKES💥💥💥

That Unwillingness To CHANGE!

That Unwillingness To CHANGE!

Two nights ago, I was having a casual exchange of thoughts with a US-based HR executive and frankly I told her that if you've got ten people in your team, you've got to have ten different management styles [that's AT THE VERY LEAST, excluding that need to iterate when even one person manifests his own 'chameleon' versions].   And if you're introducing CHANGE, you can have one hell of a ballgame.  That Unwillingness To CHANGE!!!

Personally, I have witnessed on first-hand basis, battalions of up-and-coming aspiring leaders [be it in the corporate world OR even in business] BUT sadly, I've seen a big chunk of them falling flat and failing in their aspirations.  My prognosis?  Many of them were pushing for a CHANGE proposition BUT seemingly started things on the wrong foot WHEN they thought that since they themselves were the executive sponsor of that CHANGE, it will roll out as easy the rolling dice at The Strip [in Las Vegas]😖😖😖

BUT what else an aspiring leader can do WHEN faced with an ubiquitous resistance?  Fact here is that resistance to CHANGE manifests itself in multifarious ways [sometimes it's like countless] starting from foot-dragging and inertia to petty sabotage to even an outright mutiny [OR even a 'rebellion'].  WHERE's the shortfall here?  This leads us to roll-in by combining the best of both worlds, of being tactical and strategic💧💧💧

One answer to this loops of chronic resistance is that it comes with age.  The old cliche teaches us that it is much easier to bend a young bamboo shoot rather than attempting to straighten a bended oak tree.  BUT for purposes of our thread, let's exclude that variable as an outlier.  And the thing is, there is NO such thing as standing STILL in life.  And bluntly, IF you're NOT moving forward, you're ACTUALLY moving backward!@#$%? So, indeed it's quite baffling HOW some people seem to identify a problem in their lives then they decide to CHANGE something from within themselves WHEREAS others DON'T seem to be able to take real positive steps like that✅✅✅

Our takeaway:  I've seen this over and over again.  Some folks seem to stay STUCK [reminds me of Lionel Richie's "STUCK ON YOU" hit] NO matter HOW hard they try.  Some will even reach out for self-help measures, even talking to friends and family and even go to therapy BUT their issues remain unresolved.  And it's even MORE painful WHEN it's YOU and YOU are watching yourself live that way.  NO QUICK FIX but consider these:

• SEE THAT CLEAR PATH - There's NO other way here.
• ARE YOU WALLED OFF - Tear down those walls ASAP
• ARE YOU COMFORTABLY UNCOMFORTABLE - damn it

Accept Everything In Life!

Accept Everything In Life!

If I were a salesman and I'll pitch our thread on hand today, I'll admit it's a tough call to make, a tough job to commit to.  WHY?  Because to blurt out ACCEPT EVERYTHING JUST THE WAY IT IS, that is easier said than done at all.  BUT if we think about it, ACCEPTING DOESN'T mean giving up BUT improving and learning to be better.  Because in the first place, HOW can you face the world if you CAN'T face your own self?  OR you CAN'T control yourself?  True, at times, we're down and demotivated💥💥💥

It happens many times in life, n the midst of turmoil, we would even question WHY did we end up facing those challenges and crises.  DO I DESERVE IT, really?  ACCEPTANCE grounds you in WHAT is true, WHERE you have to start for any true effectiveness, happiness and eventually healing.  Can we recognize WHAT we are NOT accepting?  That recognition could be the most common things in life, including the way our body and health is changing, aligned with age, then couple that with our cases of upsets with others that AREN'T healing, past failures, OR NOT having enough$$$ 

Now, for the hardest part, some of the losses we suffer and endure in life are irreversible.  Either THAT person, THAT moment, THAT opportunity would never be coming back, WHATEVER happens.  Perhaps, you turned a corner recently and NOW you wish you've turned the other way?  Psychologists claim that in their studies, it has been shown that often, WHAT blocks us from ACCEPTING a condition is WHAT you did experience if [ONLY] you accepted the condition.  To ACCEPT that experience, try to step back and endeavor to witness it instead💧💧💧

It's true some exceptions in life are indeed painful.  And here's WHAT the experts counsel us.  If it's that painful, do TOUCH IT AND LET IT GO.  Take your time, and take breaks if you need to.  We are also advised to notice the ways we DON'T accept some specific things in life.  Any kind of anger OR righteousness is usually a clue.  YES, you can be discerning, persuasive OR consequential regarding someone WITHOUT tipping into struggling with him OR her❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Can we consider to lowering our standards for others WHILE raising the bar for our own selves?  DON'T get me wrong it, though.  I DON'T mean being more critical of our own self BUT instead rather, being less critical of others and more focused on raising our own level of well-being and functioning.  It's easy to ACCEPT beautiful sunsets and golden prizes and it's the hard things that are hard to ACCEPT.  BUT can we ACCEPT EVERYTHING IN LIFE, if only to give that a fair chance, dude???