Stop Skimming, Can We?

 

Per se, SKIMMING is neither bad nor wrong.  BUT WHAT IF we get used so much to eat and as part of our habit formation, it becomes embedded deep within you.  Oh Oh, that's the thread we'd like to tackle today.  BTW, more for context, with SKIMMING, we're NOT just referring to SKIMMING reading materials.  Instead, we'd like to dissect our tendencies for SKIMMING even in our manifestations in our every day life.  SKIMMING comes in different forms & shapes LIKE:

• WHEN your partner alerts you, you simply shrug it off
• WHEN there's a brewing problem, we DON'T focus on it
• WHEN your manager guides you, all you give is lip service

In our daily life, HOW often did we witness someone in either a dire OR critical situation.  And YET, all you observed was that person SKIMMING through the situation.  WHEN we are at the workplace, even as managers, gone are the days WHEN we were LIKE in a swivel chair role, signing off documents and hosting meetings.  Instead, even as a manager today, one is expected to deep dive way beyond just SKIMMING through the situation.  WHETHER I was into operations OR project work, we should go beyond 'motherhood statements', way beyond general ideas.  In concrete terms, instead of just grasping the main points, graps the messaging content💚💛💜

Looking back, WHEN I was bouncing from task to task, thought to thought, calendar INVITE to the next INVITE, sometimes I just had enough contact with each moment to trigger that ripple effect, BUT at times, never long enough to sink.  YES, there's a thrill to it, once we deep dive.  Before we know it, momentum can feel like a purpose.  Busyness can feel like 'aliveness'.  WHY?  Because I can attest that WHEN we are in constant motion in deep-diving into situations, time fleets before you know it💥💥💥

YES, I can attest to that experience happening over and over again.  LIKE WHEN you're moving down deep in your task OR activity, you DON'T and WON'T have to feel too much.  You WON'T even notice the ache in your chest.  That unspoken question hovering beneath your smile.  And the way your body's been whispering for stillness.  On the other hand, swinging back, if we're just SKIMMING the surface, we would hardly and barely touch the depths WHICH we should go farther down.  And I firmly believe that, that's the point.   Psychologists did research on that 'SKIPPING STONE' and unearthed something that's quite a surprise if NOT troubling😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  I grabbed this poster because it speaks volumes.  That WHAT IF really resonates because that was the same BIG ASK many times in the past WHEN I questioned myself.  WHAT IF all along, we're wrong with our own understanding, OR even call it hypothesis because my take here is that 'skipping stone' is, in many ways, quite our survival strategy, a form of distraction, sort of and at the same time, seemingly an energetic way to stay in motion so we DON'T have to meet WHAT waits in that 'stillness'.  Because WHEN we stop, we're left with just us, our breath, our longing, our pain, our own essence, that quiet hum of a self that wants to be met.  YES dude, can we STOP SKIMMING???

Take Your Pick, Elevators OR Stairs?

 

Take your pick, Elevator versus stairs?  Surely, it's hands down ELEVATOR!  BUT to preempt confusion, we'll NOT waste time talking about ELEVATORS and stairs.  Instead, the analogy we're trying to draw out here is pegging AI [a.k.a. artificial intelligence] to ELEVATORS and human thinking to stairs.  YES dude, we've all seen the headlines about AI, both the good and the bad.  Regardless of WHAT you think of the risks of AI, no one can dispute that AI is here to stay [and for the cynics, we can bid them adieu]📗📙📘

BUT let's face it, even for many of us WHO are excited about AI can ask with unison:  WHAT'S IN IT FOR US?  For alignment, allow me to quote the standard AI definition, i.e. that branch of computer science dedicated to creating computers and programs that can replicate human thinking.  That's WHERE we're pegging AI to ELEVATORs and human thinking to the conventional stairs💧💧💧

True, some AI programs can learn from their past by analyzing complex sets of data and improve their performance without the help of humans to refine their programming.  To quote English poet Alexander Poet, "TO ERR IS HUMAN", so this is really the very first upside AI gives us as it drastically decreases HUMAN ERROR as well as that risk to us humans [and we all agree, everyone makes mistakes]💚💛💜

And that's NOT always a bad thing though BUT WHEN it comes to producing consistent results, it certainly can be.  Those "AI agents', especially the repetitive ones can prevent HUMAN ERROR from tainting an otherwise perfectly useful product OR service.  Similarly, using AI to completely particularly difficult OR dangerous tasks can help prevent the risk of injury OR harm to humans, like AI taking risks in place of humans would be robots being used instead💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Please DON'T get me wrong, I am all for AI BUT here's my qualifier.  Let us NOT allow AI to take over the reins of our human decision-making where our human perspectives are simply irreplaceable.  True, the ELEVATOR offers us all the effortless comfort BUT how about we take the stairs???

Pulling Yourself Out From That PIT

 

Bonus question:  Have you been down there in a PIT?  Absolutely, everyone has been there.  The bigger question is, HOW MANY TIMES have you been down there in a PIT? I'll raise my hand.  Been there donkey times and it was NO FUN BUT as it is indemically and intrisically part of life, I've always accepted it BUT beyond accepting it hook, line and sinker, I always asked myself these questions:

• WHAT pushed me down there deep into that so-obscure PIT?
• COULD I have pre-empted OR avoided being pushed down there?
• WHAT are its ramifications, consequences, implications direct to me?
• HOW can I proactively avoid it recurring [unless it's a force majeure]?
• WHAT lesson learnt I can benefit from the debacle so it doesn't recur

Looking back through our years, have you ever had a season that just 'wiped' you out?  YES, you want to feel happy BUT for some reason you just CAN'T.  Then you end up rolling in and rollling out of bed thinking how 'yucky' your life is and then you wake up in the morning dreading yet another BAD day about to unfurl and unfold.  YES, verily true, depression is a real damn downer.  It really is such an energy zapper no less, sometimes even making everyday tasks that difficult to accomplish.  The severely depressed have a difficult time getting and gathering that gumption to shower OR even cook a meal and eat💥💥💥

BUT dude, here's a glimmer of hope for us all.  The GOOD NEWS is that you DON'T have to allow that depression to completely rule [and even ruin] your life.  You may have a day OR two of those bluish of the blues [hey, everyone of us is entitled to those] BUT depression and darkness do NOT have to be your reality for weeks, months or worse, years.  YES, by all means, see your doctor if ever you tried to beat your depression BUT CAN'T.  So, the bugging question is:  WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO😌😌😌

HOW did I extricate myself out of that PIT countless times?  Nothing fancy, I simply did the most obvious steps LIKE:

• LIKE I started to consider exercising because by committing to that regimen, my mood elevated straight away.  To quote the experts, WHEN we exercise, our bodies produce a chemical that makes us feel more pleasant.  BTW, exercising need NOT even be strenous.  
• LIKE acquiring my supportive network.  If you communicate your problems to a person you trust, you would feel better after sharing your situation.  
• LIKE changing your eating habits because it is so easy to get caught up with unhealthy food and this is the last complication we want to happen

Our takeaway:  IF there is one sage advice I can peddle proudly out here, DON'T GIVE UP and just NEVER GIVE UP regardless of the severity OR depth of that PIT you're finding yourself.  And YES, DON'T PANIC because WHAT you need to do next is gather yourself, gather your thoughts and revisit everything including staring head-on on those humps you still need to get over with.  YES, your fuel gauge may show you're running EMPTY but in reality, there's a buffer down there, enough for a few more laps.  JUST PULL YOURSELF OUT FROM THAT PIT, ASAP❗❗❗

Can We Limit Our Limitations?

 

I'm afraid if I throw this question around, I WON'T receive any concurrence OR even that slightest nod.  WHO'll admit that he puts LIMITS to himself?  I doubt it anyone will ever admit it BUT let's keep both our feet grounded and ask ourselves this question:  Are we NOT guilty for further exacerbating our own LIMITATIONS instead tearing those walls so we can breach those road-blockers in our daily life???

Frankly, can we ask our own selves [WITHOUT sharing that reality check to anyone else], HOW MUCH DO WE STAND IN OUR OWN WAY?  And worse, even undermining your own progress [OR even your non-progress].  BUT alignment is NOT about falling in step OR conforming to others' expectations BUT rather becoming more of yourself, connecting with WHO you really are and in doing so, transcending WHAT we thought were the very LIMITS of our capabilities💚💛💜

SELF-LIMITATIONS, often due to beliefs OR fears that have turned into behavioral patterns and habits, would sometimes throttle our own abilities to stretch towards our full potential.  Famous American philanthropist Henry Ford was widely quoted:  THERE IS NO MAN LIVING WHO ISN'T CAPABLE OF DOING MORE THAN HE CAN DO"  and that's really stating the not-so-obvious fact in life💧💧💧

In one global organization I was affiliated before for a couple of years [that has since been bought out via merger & acquisition], our global executive was well respected within our organization for both his competence and drive BUT his mistrust of others and his propensity to blow a fuse tend to often obscure his very own vision, thereby weakening his standing and worse, even draining his energy and eventually undermining his impact.  Even the words he used then to describe his work-life spoke of constant battles he had to endure.  YES, it's true, we all have our respective patterns in our life, those runs that go into loops like that scratched vinyl record.  Sometimes, we can see that we're standing in our own way, BUT we DON'T know HOW to change.  More often than NOT, we are are NOT even aware of it in the very first place💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  A key realization I have embraced is the fact that for us to move past our self-limitations and become aligned, we need to first understand WHERE these self-limitations come from.  Our brains are constantly manufacturing 'meaning'.  BUT often without our conscious awareness, our brains seem to be busy absorbing, interpreting and even connecting the stimuli that our senses collect.  Our fix?  CAN WE LIMIT OUR OWN LIMITATIONS [so we can unshackle ourselves from all these]???

Our Own Shadows.....

 

NO exception, everyone of us does carry a shadow, sometimes lurking right behind you, sometimes right next to your elbows, haunting and causing NOT just a stir BUT a scare on you, on us.  And Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung has been well quoted WHEN he said:  "KNOWING YOUR DARKNESS IS THE BEST METHOD FOR DEALING WITH THE DARKNESSES OF OTHER PEOPLE".  Ouch, this one-liner speaks volumes.  Because, it is NO myth that each of us has his/her own set OR subset of SHADOWS.  Bluntly, there are NO immaculate and legitimate 'angels' on this planet.  WHOEVER says he's so immaculately clean, I CAN'T wait to have a face-off with him, confront him and see HOW far can he get himself cloaked with deception, with deceit because that's baloney no less.  We all have our own respective DARKNESSES in fact📗📙📘

WHO we truly are CAN never be denied and closeted forever beyond oblivion.  WHATEVER emotional state you will get drawn to, your SHADOWS will remain right and WHAT  can be distressful and worst stressful is IF ever we will start to push back our real SHADOWS in a web of deception [OR deceit].  By refusing to accept our legitimate SHADOWS, we become no less farcical, a charade, a facade that can easily crumble down similar to the domino chips falling one after the other.  Worst of all things is, IF we refuse to 'face the music' and continue to maintain a farcical facade, HOW will that help us understand the SHADOWS of other people as well?  And if we CAN'T understand [and appreciate] the SHADOWS of other people, HOW can we handle relationships fairly enough💚💛💜

I CAN remember one write up that left a deep imprint on me where the messaging goes this way:  OUR MISTAKES IN LIFE DON'T DEFINE WHO WE ARE.  Speaks volumes!  HOW many times I came across of breaking news like someone who gets criminally sentenced by a judicial court and many ytears and decades after, the judicial courts would reverse such previous judicial sentencing❎❎❎

That's no less than to RIGHT A WRONG.  On the other hand, there are legitimate SHADOWS a.k.a. skeletons in the closet.  BUT SO WHAT?  Everyone has it.  NOT even the Catholic Cardinals and NOT even the Pope is shielded from his own SHADOWs.  When the late Pope Francis died, even before he got buried, untold stories that seem troubling enough surfaced, LIKE a sealed envelope with a written note.  LIKE age-old controversies within the Catholic Church which, till to date, remains lurking in their very shadows💥💥💥

So WHAT's the fuss after all?  YES, this is often overlooked.  Some of us fail to appreciate that by accepting one's SHADOWs would keep him in good stead, in a much better position to understand the SHADOWs of others.  KNOW THYSELF TO KNOW OTHERS.   Admittedly, for a period in my past, I refused to recognize my own SHADOWs, only to realize my faux pas WHEN I got into situations I CAN'T wiggle out.  YES dude, we got to know and embrace our SHADOWs, to enable us to have a fair understanding of others' SHADOWs😔😔😔

Gotta Put Something In Before You Can Get Anything Out

 

Sometime back, my brother [a licensed engineer] faced some career challenges.  Seeing his worsening 'downtime',  I gave a 'Take it OR Leave it' proposal WHEREIN I recommended for him to switch careers, moving into I.T. as an Oracle developer/programmer based on three non-negotiable conditions, namely:

• THAT he has to totally forget all the sweat & sacrifices he endured until he became a licensed engineer
• THAT he'll start his I.T. career as an entry-level trainee
• THAT as an entry-level trainee, for the duration of his on-the-job training, his salary will be 0.00

Today, he is a Naturalized Singapore citizen alongside his Singapore-born kids, of which the eldest is the youngest member of the Singapore football team.  Bottom line here is, to quote American Author Zig Ziglar:  You Gotta Put Something In Before You Can Get Anything Out.  Problem is, in this sort of 'instantaneous' world we live featuring EXPRESS LANEs and FAST LANEs, many of us get off-tracked❌❌❌

BUT I guess that's a no-brainer as everyone knows it.  WHAT leads to confusion and bedlam is the mix-up between EFFORTS versus RESULTS.  At the workplace, once I did witness our big boss pulling aside my colleague and told him frankly that his work ethic + effort were NOT in question BUT it's the results [or the lack thereof] were in question.  And I observed that my colleague was kind of shocked because he confided to me that he was viewing his efforts as a measure of his success versus weighing the results he was supposed to be producing.  I commiserated with him then as I sensed it was a difficult conversation💥💥💥

From my end, I've done a fair amount of efforts exerted to really WALK THE TALK for this principle and allow me to pause and admit that this principle has become the very core of my numerous annual performance one-on-one's with my team members BUT to ease things up, I proactively set expectations by laying down this principle up front, at the start of the fiscal year [and that conversation was documented even in our HR's performance system.  At hindsight, I realized that there is a plurality of people [NOT just @workplace] WHO may NOT be clearly aware of this principle, thereby struggling to differentiate between EFFORTS versus RESULTS😖😖😖

Our takeaway:  From my observation post up @lighthouse, this has been the huge disconnect across many of us [and that included me those years WHEN I was very 'raw' and a novice @workplace.  The first magic word I absorbed then was EFFORTS, wrongly thinking then that as long as I exerted EFFORTS, that leads me to be inching towards success.  BUT alas, that was a fallacity, NOT realizing that IF the results were NOT as WHAT I expected, all those efforts will go for naught.  YES dude, YOU GOTTA PUT SOMETHING IN BEFORE YOU CAN GET ANYTHING OUT.  Gets???

Benefits of Wasting Time?

 

Are there benefits for WASTING TIME?  Absolutely there are.  BUT please DON'T get me wrong [before I get bashed here].  I am neither encouraging nor egging anyone to go and start WASTING TIME.  WHERE I'm coming from, everywhere you look, books and publications are full of productivity hacks LIKE ways to improve productivity, get more things done and most importantly "DON'T WASTE TIME".  In this rowdy world WHERE productivity values and results are all over the place, WASTING TIME leads to guilt feelings, right???

Ironically, this world we live in highlights those 70 to 80-hour work weeks are our BADGE OF HONOR.  That explains as to WHY 'WASTING TIME' provokes a sense of guilt and even worry.  WHAT IF we take an hour to exercise and miss an important call?  WHAT IF someone notices that we spent a few minutes browsing social media after hours of that concentrated work?  Truth of the matter is, there are essential benefits to people and even business WHEN we holistically embrace the very value and essence of 'WASTING TIME'.  As it turns out, people are NOT equipped to work 16-hour work days or even perhaps, eight to ten-hour work days WHILE maintaining high productivity and consistent quality levels at that.  Experts tell us that our human brain can focus BUT only for short spans💚💛💜

NOW, let's dive deeper.  In between those attention spans, DOESN'T it merit for some 'WASTING TIME'?  Let's face it, some of our TIME WASTERS are really unavoidable.  There could be work-related activities that DON'T require intense intellectual work OR even creativity.  Activities such as required meetings OR administrative tasks may feel like TIME WASTERs BUT they are probably necessary to your overall function OR role.  Some activities feel like WASTING TIME BUT are quite beneficial to our productivity📌📌📌

Exercise, reading [and even blogging], engaging in hobbies [oh yes, maybe some TikTok] and even connecting with friends and family all meet important basic needs we have as human beings.  Engaging in these activities may feel like WASTING TIME BUT they do contribute to our overall health.  Of course, there is a category that makes us guilty❎❎❎

That category, WHICH includes binge-watching the latest Netflix series OR even scrolling through social media, these activities may give us some reason to feel guilty BUT SHOULD WE?  If we are a typical office worker, studies show that we have probably four OR five hours per day of real focus available.  And YES, those hours can vary as it gets impacted by other factors.  Our takeaway:  WHATEVER calling you're in, bottom line is:  KNOW YOUR LIMITS before we realize that indeed we're WASTING TIME, dude😡😡😡

That Damn Important POV [Point Of View]!

 

WHO says we're TO EACH HIS OWN because we lead our own lives and we have our own POINT OF VIEW [POV]?  I beg to disagree with this train of thought though.  Even for this simple blogging, I take it seriously that one of my most critical decisions [even before I start drafting a new blog post] is to ask myself, WHOSE POINT OF VIEW am I going to write this blog?  I thought that's crucial to be clear up front📗📙📘

That POINT OF VIEW I'll decide up front determines the outlook of WHAT I'll write after all even as each perspective comes with its own devices that can give the blog writer that freedom to express BUT at the same time, to be extra mindful and conscious enough that I CAN'T just blurt out and end up shooting from the hip because there are limits I ought NOT to be breach, if at all❌❌❌

WHY is there so much cacophony in the world we live in?  Ooooops, there is NO single culprit for that harsh reality because, like it OR NOT, many of us are accomplices [in most cases, unconscious and unaware at that].  So you might get back and ask, WHAT POINT OF VIEW should we use if composing a blog?  In most cases, bloggers would opt the FIRST PERSON SINGULAR so that his narrative will become more personal, more genuine💚💛💜

On the other hand, some would prefer the THIRD PERSON LIMITED POINT OF VIEW in a scenario where the blogger writes something from only one person's perspective BUT as if the reader was following them around and observing.  This POINT OF VIEW will then allow the listener OR reader to gain a slightly broader perspective WHILE still being permitted to understand the innermost thoughts and feelings without being bound to one's opinion💥💥💥

Our takeaway:  Regardless if we're talking about fiction OR non-fiction, WHAT matters here is that in a two-way interaction, it behooves that we become more flexible and less rigid in our POINT OF VIEW.  In fact, if it happens that one protagonist is so vociferous and vocal, the other protagonist is encouraged to take a step [OR at least a half-step] back for him/her to get OR see the bigger picture [OR trying to see the whole forest and NOT just the trees] before one draws the conclusions arising from that interaction.  YES, that DAMN IMPORTANT POINT VIEW [POV] remains as damn important indeed😃😃😃

Are You An ALPHA OR A True ALPHA?

 

WHO DOESN'T want to be an ALPHA?  Of course, everyone wants and even dreams to become one.  And I'm sure, if we do a random check out in the streets, a good majority will claim [and conclude] that they are a true-blue ALPHA.  Seriously, there's just a very loose definition of WHAT an ALPHA is, such that, many have mistakenly believed that they are a true-blue ALPHA in everyday life📘📙📗

To quote one stereotype definition of a True ALPHA, they are defined as in possession of themselves and they ensure that their own passions DON'T end up running their lives.  In one of my previous business trips, after one long day of back-to-back huddles and meetings, my hosts brought me to their favorite winery and out of nowhere, a stranger joined us, engaging in our conversation like any normal human being would💜💛💚

Before I knew it, he began to dominate our group tete-a-tete and later on, this gentleman managed to turn around our conversations all about himself, whew!  As I have a good handle to find a true-blue ALPHA, I knew it, this guy was an ALPHA male in the flesh.  The original ALPHA Male theory goes something like this:  Human society is structured like a wolf pack and at the top of the pack is the dominant ALPHA male.  Think of that leader WHO shoots out orders and NEVER takes NO for an answer.  YES, from time to time, we do all run into these True ALPHAs even in our everyday lives.  If it's NOT at the corporate boardrooms, we can stumble across them WHILE you're queueing either at the bank OR even at the train station❌❌❌

BUT NOT to tear apart all the positivities of a True ALPHA, WHILE the True ALPHA  has the unsullied reputation of being a strong leader WHO seems to have all the right answers [besides ticking all the boxes], at times, I did observe that even a True ALPHA can be quite loud and for lack of a better adjective, obnoxious at times.  That's WHEN he gets his way through sheer brute force of his own will😡😡😡

Our takeaway:  My own take here is that, regardless WHETHER we claim to be a True ALPHA OR NOT, all of us need to prove that we excel on many things and would stand out even if you're in the middle of a mamooth crowd.  As things have evolved, ALPHA Theory 2.0 is interesting because a key attribute of a True ALPHA is one WHO remains moderate in their consumption of both food and alcohol.  Taking a step farther, they will get enough sleep and sufficient exercise.  And to quote studies, beyond the physical realm, the True ALPHAs will lead a well-ordered spiritual life.  Whether this remains ideal as such, it all boils down for us to buckle down and be sincerely honest enough on the path you want to take to be a True ALPHA😁😁😁

Ambiguity and Uncertainty

On the surface, AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY seem to be very much on the same wavelength BUT it's NOT!  WHILE both AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY both refer to situations WHERE there is a lack of understanding OR clarity BUT AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY are NOT the same!  For alignment, let's agree that AMBIGUITY refers to a state of being unclear and can arise from having multiple options and lack of clarity on either the best OR the most appropriate option.  For brevity, WHEN something is ambiguous, it is unclear as to WHAT it means, and it may be interpreted in another way📗📙📘
 

On the other hand, UNCERTAINTY goes beyond implying a certain lack of information OR knowledge about a particular situation OR even an outcome.  WHICH means, even the possible outcome seems unknown, lest can it be predicted with confidence.  UNCERTAINTY arises WHEN we DON'T have all the facts OR WHEN we CAN'T accurately assess the probability of different outcomes😡😡😡

You might wonder, WHY are we spending time between AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY?  Simple.  One too many confusions would then surface simply because someone thought that there's AMBIGUITY WHEN in truth, he is UNCERTAIN.  And sometimes, one [wrongly] thought he is UNCERTAIN WHEN in truth, he is no less AMBIGUOUS❗❗❗

WHAT this tells us is that even the most petty thing can get blown out of proportions once that mix-up between AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY surfaces.  As both AMBIGUITY and UNCERTAINTY can create challenges for decision-making and problem-solving, nevertheless they both require more information and clarification.  There's a key differentiation though because if one faces UNCERTAINTY, that may kind of necessitate and need a level of risk assessment and a step farther, contingency planning❎❎❎

Our takeaway:  Quite a recurring but subtle scenario that seems to hit us is that conundrum WHEN we ourselves are unaware and/or unconscious if a certain question befuddling us is triggered by variables related to AMBIGUITY OR UNCERTAINTY.  I did bear witness multiple times WHEN protagonists started off with some level of confusion BUT the situation exacerbated WHEN the protagonists failed to pin down and clear up WHETHER WHAT's hitting him was either AMBIGUITY OR UNCERTAINTY.  Sweeping it under the carpet will only cause it to resurface again💥💥💥